


These Violent Delights

by MechanicalBones



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: (Basically everyone is living a double life & are keeping secrets), Aftermath of Torture, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a (Sort Of) Happy Ending, Child Death, Coercion (Sort of), Cyborg!Gavin, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Siblings, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Human AU (Sort of), M/M, Mafia AU, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secret Identity, Smut, Super Explicit Language, Temporary Character Death, Torture, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Is Bad at Feelings, gangster!Nines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:54:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 192,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21526309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MechanicalBones/pseuds/MechanicalBones
Summary: Gavin Reed is a jaded, washed out detective who suffers with PTSD from when he was tortured by one of Detroit's most manipulative gangsters known as 'Nines'. The technology used to keep Gavin alive just so happened to be the technology that he was tortured for.He tries to get a grip on his life & live with the changes that happened to his body & in turn his mindset, but that's a rather difficult feat when it feels like the city is hellbent on destroying every piece of normality Gavin has. Oh, & of course falling for 'Richard Wolf', a CEO of a rivaling tech company, who just so happens to be the mobster that caused his PTSD in the first place, doesn't exactly help.Gavin needs to get out of Detroit. But at what cost?
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 262
Kudos: 303





	1. A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

**Author's Note:**

> I talked about this AU for a while on my tumblr & had various chapter scenes drafted up, but have finally decided to kick my ass into gear & write it properly, so here we are. 
> 
> I'd just like to note that even though this is tagged as a mafia AU, that is more so to do with the undertones of the corrupt companies in this fic & many of the character's ties to the mob & how even the good characters end up doing bad things because of it. This story is what happens when the sci-fi loving side of my brain meets with my love for violent characters. Viola, a very sci-fi mafia AU. 
> 
> **Important:** This story starts with Gavin being brutally injured at the hands of the mob. If you want to read, but don't want to sit through that, then skip to where the italics end!
> 
> Thank you to the people who supported this idea, stopping it from simply collecting dust, never to see the light of day. Oh & of course, a huge thankies to [Tristinai's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tristinai/pseuds/tristinai) Bad Decisions for being the final push of inspiration I needed to actually get this written. You're the best <3

_Gavin Reed: Full time detective, part time fucking idiot. Or maybe it was the other way around, he couldn't quite tell at this point. One thing he was certain of however, was that he was very good at making very bad decisions. It was simply in his nature._

_Everything ached._

_His left knee was in excruciating agony after Dipshit One decided to use Gavin as a pinata, like if he cracked open, they'd get some fucking candy. He was convinced his knee was broken, if not shattered. If he survived, the healing of that was not going to be pleasant._

_Dipshit Two had pistol whipped him before dragging him to his current spot. If the rain was good for anything, at least it was washing the blood off of his face so it wouldn't get in his eyes. Silver linings, right? No? Fuck._

_The Detroit air was freezing as it whistled past Gavin's ears, flicking his hair in all directions as he was held over the third level of an abandoned car park by a man - who Gavin referred to as Dipshit One - with a balaclava covering the lower half of his face, the mask having angry, white teeth printed across it that were now splattered with Gavin's blood._

_The rain had been pelting down for hours against the asphalt beneath that he was certain he was going to end up on._

_T_ _oday just wasn't his day._

_The second man, AKA Dipshit Two, was standing barely a foot away, on the phone with a grin evident on his face even beneath the mask as he was watching the scene unravel before him. It was apparent that he was explaining what was going on to whoever he was on the phone to. Whoever that was, Gavin presumed he was the one calling the shots. Bastard couldn't even handle his own dirty work? That thought alone had a faint laugh escaping Gavin's lips, his ribs aching in protest at the movement._

_Gavin had done the math. Even in his bleary, less than coherent state after being punched repeatedly, beat the shit out of & clocked around the head with the butt of his own pistol, he had managed to work out that he was currently being held over the edge of the third storey of the car park. He had figured out that if one floor was about 14 feet, which, in turn, was approximately 4.2 meters, then three floors would be 12 point something meters, which, oh fuck, was almost a 40 foot drop. _

_That gave him a 50% chance of survival. Gavin had always had a knack for beating the odds, likely out of pure, dumb luck. But on this particular night, he wasn't exactly feeling all too lucky._

_"Hey, Dipshit! It's getting fucking cold over here, mind pulling me back?" It was a fruitless attempt, words muffled through the balaclava he was wearing for himself in the hopes it'd help mask his identity better, his 'fuck' coming out sounding more like 'phck', but he spat his words out with as much confidence as he could muster anyway as he looked down at his feet, his tiptoes desperately scrabbling to stay on the rain slicked ledge; not that it mattered._

_His hands were zip-tied behind his back. If the man with the deep, brown eyes & teeth mask loosened his grip on the lapels of Gavin's leather jacket any further, Gavin would be fucked. It wasn't as if his hands could even scrabble helplessly for purchase on the ledge as he fell to his demise. _

_Again, he wasn't exactly feeling all too lucky._

_The man who was on the phone had muttered out, "what do you want us to do, Boss?" followed by a very disgruntled, "Nines, you aren't listening to me. The bastard isn't talking. We threatened him, we tied him down, one of his kneecaps is busted & we have him hanging off the ledge of the car park, just like you said. He's either one tough son of a bitch or just fucking stupid. Whatever he's hiding, it must be worth dying for." _

_There was a brief moment of silence before Dipshit One piped up, loud enough to be heard by whoever the fuck 'Nines' was, "my hands are getting tired, Boss!" The smirk was evident in his voice, his tone mocking. Clearly taking sick pride & pleasure in Gavin's suffering. _

_"No, fuck, you fucking cu-" Gavin's garbled sentence was cut off as the man yanked him forward so their faces were barely in inch apart. They were so close, despite the smell of the rain & the rusted tinge of blood in the air, he could smell the man's cologne, or at least, he thought it was his cologne. He smelled of roses & nature. It was sort of contradictory in its own way. How could someone so violent smell so nice? It was almost distracting. _

_A heavy sigh escaped Gavin's lips at the feeling of having his feet finally on a solid, flat surface despite the agony shooting through his left kneecap & up his thigh. It was a good job that his captor still had a tight grip on his jacket or else Gavin would have probably fallen from not being able to hold his own weight & slipped off the ledge anyway like the chaotic idiot he was. _

_With his voice being muffled by the mask, a beanie hat pulled to just above his eyebrows & the ringing in Gavin's ears, it was almost impossible to identify the man beneath the mask. All he had to go off was those deep, honey-brown eyes that lacked any emotion that should have been there. He figured if he did know the man, those eyes would have been too memorable to not know who it was. _

_"Nines despises loose ends & cocky troublemakers such as yourself. Tell us what you know about your brother's company & you may just live." _

_The detective swallowed in the hopes it would help dampen his throat, cringing at the metallic taste that lingered on the back of his tongue from his earlier beating._

_Despite every single fiber of his being warning him to, for just this once, not open his stupid, loud mouth, he did it anyway. If Gavin was known for one thing, it was his ability to continuously make poor life choices without ever learning from his mistakes._

_Hell, it wasn't as if he was just going to go out of this world without pissing in one more person's Corn Flakes first._

_He wriggled his mouth until his own balaclava fell to around his neck so his words would be heard loud & clear as he spoke up, " sorry to disappoint you, fellas, but I pinky swore I wouldn't tell. Everyone knows us Kamski's don't break pinky promises-" With a smirk toying at his lips in response to the man's furrowed brows, Gavin collected the blood that was pooling in his mouth from where one of his teeth had been knocked out earlier & spat it right in the face of his brown eyed captor. _

_The pure look of indignant disgust that flashed through those otherwise emotionless eyes on the face that was now splattered with even more of Gavin's blood was enough for the detective to, yet again, realise just how much he was going to regret the decision he had just made._

_The captor simply let go of Gavin with one hand, using the back of his gloved, now free hand to wipe away at some of the blood that had found its way onto his skin rather than just one the mask. He then tugged Gavin's own balaclava back up around his mouth & nose so he couldn't spit his blood out again. _

_His captor kept his voice low, sounding as though he were at odds with trying to keep his voice level & not show just how livid he really was as he spoke up once more, "such a shame. Nines will meet ya at the bottom. If you survive, that is." _

_That was the last thing that Gavin heard before his own muffled yelp of panic filled his ears as he was shoved full force off of the ledge of the car park._

"-Vin! You in there, kiddo?" Right as his body made impact with the unforgiving asphalt, Gavin was yanked out of the flashback by the feeling of Lieutenant Anderson's hand gently being placed on his shoulder. Flinching back at the touch, Gavin sat up right from where he had his head resting on his arms on his desk, his chest heaving heavily as he tried to suck in as much air as physically possible, looking up at Anderson with deep red & purple hues painting the skin beneath his eyes.

"Jesus, kid, you look like hell. C'mon, let's get you to Chloe. It's nearly 4 P.M." Hank spoke softly as to not discombobulate Gavin further, holding out a cup of coffee to the detective with his free hand in a mug that had _'worlds okayest detective'_ scrawled across it in red pen in Officer Chen's handwriting - a not-so-secret Santa gift that Gavin treasured dearly, because despite being mildly insulting, it came from the heart.

He nodded silently as he took the mug in his shaky hands, gulping down half of the hot contents in mere seconds before slowly standing himself up, his face screwing up slightly as his full weight was pressed onto his legs. Despite it being almost three months since the accident, doctors were not too certain that Gavin would ever be able to walk without a slight limp or without being in pain, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

Upon seeing the pain evident on Gavin's face, Hank sighed softly, guiding Gavin in the direction of the archive room, keeping close to be sure he could catch the younger detective if his knee buckled. "Leg still giving you grief? How is, uh-" pausing for a moment as if to contemplate on his wording, the Lieutenant less than gracefully settled on, "-y'know, the arm-"

"Real subtle, old man." Gavin murmured into his drink as he paused his walking to take another sip of the coffee; his eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he appreciated the way the liquid warmed up his organs, reviving them & bringing him back from the icy depths in which his mind had got lost in.

After the incident, Hank had been at Gavin's side through every step of his recovery, making him one of the few of the handful of people that truly knew about the extent of Gavin's injuries & what had to be done to keep him alive.

Gavin knew that Hank meant well, in his own fatherly way. Gavin's biological father had fucked off to a life of crime when Gavin was only a teenager, without even a measly goodbye. Gavin on the other hand, had gone into the police force. Maybe it was the petty drive of wanting to arrest his own father for being a prick that had led him to being a cop, but, as time passed & he gained his detective badge; along the way, Gavin had formed a new found family at the DPD.

Hank was a father figure to Gavin & ever since the Lieutenant lost his own son due to a tragic accident, Hank's bond with Gavin had only grown. Even on Gavin's worst days when he could be nothing but a sour bastard to anything that breathed, Hank stood by him.

Then there was Tina. Gavin's ride or die. His rock. His best friend. She was like the annoying sister he never knew he needed. Without her keeping him in check, having movie nights until the sun rose due to both of them suffering from insomnia, sending him cat videos everyday without fail, Gavin was convinced he would have put a bullet in his head a long time ago.

"You didn't answer my question-" The smile was evident in Hank's voice, showing that in no way was he trying to pry for an answer, merely stating the facts. He had come to learn the hard way that trying to get Gavin to speak up about his 'procedures' was essentially a game of Russian Roulette, who knew what outcome was going to happen. He knew neither of them were legally allowed to talk about it, but in Hank's words, Cyberlife couldn't do shit if they didn't know.

Gavin simply shrugged, holding his coffee mug in his right hand so he could extend his left, flexing his fingers despite them subtly shaking.

The action wasn't perfect, it was a little, for lack of a better word, janky, but outside of that, he was able to move his hand with such precision, nobody would be able to tell that it wasn't human. Even if Hank could see the strain & discomfort it caused by the emotion that was evident on Gavin's face, being able to move his arm & have as much control as he did was progress when just last month, he could barely pick up a book without dropping it.

With a soft smile & a nod of approval, Hank held open the door that was next to the archive room, a small golden plaque on door with the words 'Dr. Artei' embossed neatly into it.

Gavin grunted out a thank you before making his way inside the office, glancing back to Hank who gave him a reassuring smile before shutting the door & returning to work. Once inside the room, Gavin shuffled over to the couch & sat himself down, kicking his feet up across it as he sipped on the other half of his coffee without bothering with the pleasantries as his psychiatrist shifted from where she was filing some papers to sit at her desk with a warm smile.

"Gavin, it's so good to see you again & this time-" The blonde woman in the blue dress paused for a moment to glance to her clock which indicated it was bang on 4 P.M. "-You're on time. I suppose Lieutenant Anderson is helping you to stay on track?"

"Wait, are you allowed to say that it's good to see me again, Chlo? Isn't that like a nurse at a hospital saying 'hope to see you again soon'?" Gavin snickered quietly, his words barely coherent from where he was mumbling into his coffee mug, seeming to be more interested in that warm liquid than actually holding a conversation. 

Gavin was never comfortable with having to talk about his feelings. He had spent the better half of his whole 36 years of living pushing down any emotion & any that did dare bubble to the surface morphed into a passive aggressive comment or snide remark. He simply found life to be easier if he didn't have to face his baggage. But since the accident & the procedures Elijah had put him through while he was unconscious, there was no avoiding the inevitable.

It had been a rather tricky situation to begin with.

When Gavin momentarily woke up on the asphalt, screaming in agony because he could not move, all he could do was watch through bleary vision as a tall man dressed completely in black stepped up to him. When the man made no act towards helping Gavin, he knew it was the infamous 'Nines' that had ordered the torture in the first place. After all, that other man did say he was going to meet Nines at the bottom.

The tall man crouched down, tucked what looked like a pistol into the back of his trousers before reaching a hand out to trace his fingers along Gavin's bloodied cheekbone without bothering to pull back the balaclava to see who really lay beneath.

Gavin thought it to be strange, surely the man would want to know who he was for if they ever crossed paths again, but he seemed impassive at best, or at least, that's what his body language read. Gavin's vision was still too bleary to properly see what the man looked like. Then, without a single word uttered, the man simply stood himself up, stepped over Gavin's body & walked away, leaving him on the freezing ground in the rain to die.

It didn't take long for Gavin to pass out again from the pain but when he woke up once more, he was in white room, surrounded by computers & various wires but there was no pain. There was nothing. He felt nothing. Then, suddenly, like a cartoon character realising they had already walked off a cliff & only then did they fall; Gavin felt everything.

Every fiber of his being felt as though it were on fire, agony coursed through his left arm, his leg & up & down his back as if the pain was trying to relentlessly claw its way out of his body. His vision was clouded by something but he couldn't tell what as everything was still blurry. There was a pounding in his head, as if he could hear his own panicked heartbeat & it was loud enough to drown out any other sound. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He desperately tried to call out for Elijah but all he could manage to rasp out was a barely whispered 'Eli' that went unheard.

Everything hurt, everything felt wrong.

Once more he passed out but this time when he woke up, the pain had subsided & had instead morphed itself into an infuriatingly ever present dull ache along with a strange static sound in his head that had lingered ever since. He was in a different room this time, with more colour splashed here & there & when he tilted his head to glance to the side, he could see Hank sleeping in the chair beside his bed.

He tried to reach his left arm out to wake his Lieutenant up & that was when the panic set in as he realised that his arm was immobile. He allowed his gaze to drop to the limb & his eyes widened at the sight of the white & blue mechanical arm that was where his real arm should have been. In amidst his sudden panicked state, Gavin attempted to reach out to Hank with his other arm & effectively flung himself off of the bed & landed on the floor with a pained cry.

In mere seconds, Hank was on the floor beside him, pulling the fragile & panicked man into his lap, wrapping his arms securely around Gavin as he breathed steadily to guide Gavin into mimicking his breathing patterns so he could calm down. "Shh, shh, I'm here, son, I'm here. You're going to be okay now, I promise. I thought you weren't gonna wake up, Kid, you were startin' to really freak me out." Hank had murmured, clearly a little panicked himself as he held Gavin close until he began to steady out his breathing.

Gavin had been out for a week since the first time he had woken up, it was evident by the growing scruff around his jawline. He stayed quiet in Hank's arms as he attempted to follow the same breathing technique that Hank was using & it was only when the dizziness of his panic attack subsided did Gavin rasp out the quietest, "I'm scared, Dad" in a tone that Hank had once mentioned would haunt him until his dying day. 

Neither men brought up again just how terrified Gavin was in that very moment, or the fact he had called Hank 'dad', but the memory lingered at the forefront of both men's minds.

From that moment on, Hank was there through it all.

He was the one to explain that he gave Elijah the go ahead to replace the irreparable bones in Gavin's body with that of the machine replicas. Hank knew how much Gavin adored his job, how he would be lost without his badge & with the knowledge that Gavin's arm had to be amputated or he could die, that his spine had to have extensive surgeries for even a slim chance of him being able to walk again, there was no way that Hank was going to say no when Elijah spoke of Cyberlife's biggest secret project. The project that Gavin was tortured for intel on in the first place. Ironic how he had become the secret in which those men were searching for.

Although Gavin had no say in the matter & would have likely never agreed to the procedures if he were awake, he couldn't find it in his heart to be angry at Hank or Elijah. Not when they had made it possible for him to not only recover from life altering, no, life ruining injuries but also still be able to return to work with little to no question thanks to Hank's authority as Lieutenant being able to cover up almost all of Gavin's tracks with what happened on that fateful night.

It took two straight months of Gavin being stuck in a top secret Cyberlife facility before he was allowed to return to work or even interact with the outside world for that matter. He had to go through intense physical therapy day in, day out, so he could gain function in his now bionic left arm & learn to be able to walk & move properly again.

Those two months were a painstakingly long adjustment period where his body had to get used to the machinery that he was now fused with. If it were not for the complex mechanical spine, the bionic arm & the metal plates that now sat where the bones in his leg once had, Gavin would have been paralyzed for life.

Cyberlife had been working on creating prosthetic limbs that could be attached by the nerves so the wearer could have full functionality & feeling of what was once lost.

There had been rumours of said project circulating & everybody wanted to know how much was true, but without having a single successful test subject, there was no proof of the technology even existing. Until Gavin.

Gavin & Hank were sworn to secrecy, not only by a Cyberlife branded NDA but also by Gavin's loyalties to his brother & in the same regard, Hank's loyalties to Gavin.

But, with nobody to talk to & PTSD that everybody could see was getting progressively worse despite Gavin's refusal to admit to it, Gavin began to shut himself in. He showed up for work each day but didn't bother speaking to anybody, not even Tina. He got lost into a case that was overwhelmingly difficult to tackle alone but refused help. He delved into a string of murders relating to his brother's company & it was visible on his face thanks to the heavy bags beneath his eyes that he was forcing himself to spend every waking hour on the cases as a form of distraction for what his mind was trying to replay on repeat.

Upon seeing this & with concern for his brother's well-being, Kamski had paid a rather pretty penny to get Chloe - his most trusted asset as he called her - employed at the DPD so she could keep a close eye on Gavin with knowing all of the secrets. It gave Gavin a free space to talk about not only his emotions that he tried so hard to hide but to also talk about how his upgraded body was treating him.

Gavin had only agreed to spend an hour or more - depending on how cooperative he was being - every Saturday in Chloe's office at the DPD to have it be put on record that he was seeing professional help & in turn, got to keep his badge & got to keep working on the cases regarding the mysterious murders that he was so hellbent on figuring out who was behind. Somebody was killing Cyberlife employees & he was going to find out who. A gut feeling told him he knew exactly who it was. Not that he could bring up the name without implicating himself. He had been tortured for information on Cyberlife but he, unlike the others, had somehow been left alive.

Proof from crime scenes that he was not allowed to visit but merely got photos of told Gavin that the Cyberlife employees were also tortured for answers as to what Cyberlife's secrets were & when they refused to talk, just like Gavin, they were left for dead. But, they were not as lucky as he was. Each employee had been found dead, bodies mutilated in rather horrific ways & always with a 9mm bullet to the chest. 

So why the hell did Gavin not end up with a bullet in the chest too? He distinctly remembered his torturer tucking the gun away before touching his face as he lay helpless.

The only positive out of all of this? At least he was legally allowed to talk about the cases with Chloe, which included getting to talk about his side of things too. Eventually, even if he had to fight like hell, he was going to find the bastard who was killing off the Cyberlife staff & maybe, oh just maybe, he'd throw the fucker off of a rooftop too.

"We talked about this Gavin, responding to my questions with more questions isn't giving me an answer that I can work with. Has your sleeping pattern been improving yet? Are your new medications helping at all?" Chloe's voice was soft & gentle, like satin against bare skin. There was something so comforting yet off putting all rolled into one about her presence & ability to know exactly what to say. Gavin could never quite place his finger on why though.

With a belligerent sigh, Gavin tipped his head back against the couch cushions after placing his empty coffee mug down before tilting his head enough to catch Chloe's eyes with his own. "I sleep at my desk. Does that count? I feel like I'm being watched. I swear when I close my curtains or-or when I'm at the grocery store, I swear I feel someone's eyes on me. It makes my spine twitch. Call it a gut feeling. Or maybe I'm just going insane & that's why I have you." Gavin laughed bitterly at his own comment, shrugging his shoulders before shuffling to get more comfortable.

"We talked about this Gavin. You are safe. The lack of sleep can further persuade the mind into believing its own paranoid thoughts. But, I am here to remind you that you are safe & I assure you, you are not going 'insane'. You simply have a lot of trauma that you are trying to bury." Chloe offered a comforting smile but when Gavin decided to keep his mouth shut, showing he was no longer interested in trying to talk about that subject, Chloe piped up with a question she knew would have him talking. "Are you still trying to speak with Tina when you can?"

It wasn't that his friendship with Tina was necessarily strained due to his reservedness as she was one of the most understanding people he knew, but that didn't mean he didn't have a hell of a lot of making up to do.

After a beat of silence as Gavin flexed his fingers, he shrugged yet again, his voice a faint susurration as if lost in his own thoughts, "me & Tina are actually going out tonight, but I bet you already knew that, didn't you?"

"What makes you say that, Detective?" Chloe held his gaze, tilting her head ever so slightly as she studied his posture as if seeing something that he could not.

"I told Tina about the technology convention that Eli is attending. She really wanted to go because there is a lady who works in Cyberlife that Tina wants to meet. I only agreed because of her promise of paying for my tab at the bar they'll have there." Gavin smirked ever so slightly at the almost disappointed look in Chloe's face. 

That's what it was, he suddenly realised. That's what was so off putting about Chloe's otherwise immaculate presence - all of her expressions seemed to be, as Gavin liked to call them: 'almost expressions'. It was as if she could never quite fully show her disappointment or happiness so it was only ever _almost_ the emotion that made it onto her face. Huh, strange.

Before he got the chance to further ruminate on that discouraging topic, Chloe piped up once more in her chipper tone. "Whether you are there for the alcohol, to support your friend or your brother, it's progress that you are going to socialise, Gavin. It could be good for you to meet some new people."

Gavin sneered at that remark, shrugging his shoulders as he took up staring at the ceiling. "They still wont let me out in the field, y'know?"

"You are subject changing again, Gavin. One more month & you can return to the field given that you pass your firearm retrain. Speaking of, is that going to be an issue?" Chloe's tone shifted from humble to formal quick enough to give Gavin whiplash but at this point, he was used to it, so, rather than forming a reply that Chloe would be content with, he simply raised his left arm, struggling for barely a millisecond before sticking his middle finger up in Chloe's direction, muttering, "I think I should be fine" with mirth all but dripping from his tone.

A soft, barely audible sigh escaped Chloe's lips in response as she rolled her eyes. "Well, I consider that progress towards your old personality seeping back through. Which, in many cases, would be a good thing. But, it's rather apparent that it's your personality that tends to get you into trouble, isn't it?" 

Gavin hummed in agreement, slowly sitting himself up with a soft wince at the discomfort in his spine before mumbling out, "by my old personality, you mean the ever obnoxious Gavin Kamski? Not the sad sack of shit known as Gavin Reed?"

"Gavin-" Chloe began, seemingly pausing to carefully collect her words before speaking up after a few beats of silence, "you know what I meant. You also know that nobody can hear you say that name. For your own s-"

"Yeah, yeah, for my own safety. I fucking know. But, what does it even matter that I changed my name? The staff at Cyberlife aren't related but they're still being killed, why do I get all of the protection, what about them?" Gavin allowed the frustrations he was feeling to seep out into his words as he shot Chloe an icy glare. It wasn't fair. Why did they have to die & he got to live? All because he was a Kamski? Fuck that.

"Gavin, those men knew you were related to Elijah & targeted you first. If anybody were to find out the truth of your relations to Elijah again, after all of your procedures, there is no telling what people will do to you to get to the technology that is keeping you alive. If they harmed you in such a way when they simply believed you knew the company's biggest secrets, what will they do when they know that you _are_ the secret, hm?" The weight of her words sat heavy in the air between them & the last time he opened his mouth with a witty retort, he was dropped off a roof. So Gavin was smart & kept his mouth shut despite wanting to argue about how it wasn't fair that he was getting special treatment all because he was Elijah's brother. 

Innocents were being killed because he had to keep his mouth shut, just as they were keeping their mouths shut to protect him until Cyberlife could go public with their advances, just as soon as they could get more than one working test subject.

An awkward tension filled the silence that lingered between them for far longer than Gavin was comfortable with. When it finally felt as though it was going to suffocate him, the man grabbed his coffee cup with his right hand, flexing his fingers with his left before mumbling, "I don't want to be a secret anymore, Chlo. I can't even talk to my best friend about this shit, it's getting tiring. I lost everything that mattered to me."

Gavin stood himself up, stretching his back out with a quiet sigh. "Maybe I'll see you tonight, if not, I'll see you next week, yeah? I gotta go get ready." As he spoke in a grumbled, passive aggressive tone, the detective made his way to the door before freezing in place with his left hand clenching the door handle with enough force for it to bend & crumple beneath his grip as a searing pain shot through his upper arm & along his shoulder. If it were not for his grip on the handle, he likely would have stumbled to the floor at the sudden onslaught of stabbing sensations reeking havoc in his nerves.

"F-fuck!" Gavin yelped, struggling to keep his voice even as he flashed Chloe a nervous look from over his shoulder, to which, she simply tilted her head once more, staring at him with a scrutinizing gaze before speaking in an outwardly deadpan tone, "you remember signing that NDA, do you not, Detective? It would be a shame if you were to forget about that-"

"Oh fuck! Wh-what the _fuck_ , Chloe?!" His voice wavered with pain as he attempted to flex his 'muscles' as if that would somehow shake the pain that was coursing through his robotic limb as he flashed Chloe the coldest glare he could muster from over his shoulder. How she was getting into his prosthetic, he didn't even want to know & he liked to think he was smarter than to push his luck with asking.

"Cyberlife cannot have you running your mouth, _Reed_ , you hear me?"

"Yes, I-I fucking hear you! Now, would you l-let me go already?" Gavin stammered, stumbling over his words as he stared down at his arm that he seemingly could not gain control of. But, right as he asked, the pain dissipated into a faint ache before completely disappearing.

Slowly, he pried his fingers away from where they had pressed into the metal of the handle with enough tension to leave a permanent, noticeable mark & made his way out of the office. Behind him, the fabricated, sweet tone of Chloe's voice piped up with a "have a lovely afternoon, Detective" before Gavin slammed her door shut, marching his way to the break room, surprised that somehow, he hadn't dropped the mug that Tina had gifted him.

Fuck, he was going to need more than coffee if he was to get through the rest of the day.

"Gav! Hurry up, we're going to be late!" Tina shouted from where she was standing in Gavin's spacious living room, putting in a pair of elegant, diamond studded drop earrings that Gavin had gifted her a few years ago. They matched perfectly with the turquoise satin dress she was wearing. "Stacy is going to be there & I want to sweep her off her feet before somebody else gets the chance!"

A soft laugh from the bedroom could be heard as Gavin slowly emerged, making his way towards where Tina was stood. He was out of his uniform & now wearing a three-piece, tightly fitted suit much to Tina's approval. The suit itself was rather basic - black pants, blazer & waistcoat with a white shirt to match. Nothing that would have him standing out against a crowd of other people wearing similar attire. Unless they looked at his feet, that is. Gavin had argued for a good ten minutes with Tina over his refusal to wear dress shoes. Instead, he was wearing his black Converse sneakers.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember. The receptionist at Cyberlife that you have a massive crush on. Isn't her sister a receptionist at the DPD? Isn't that going to be weird? Also, remind me again why I can't just wear a blazer over one of my t-shirts? That's what El-" Gavin cut himself off with a soft sigh followed by an eye roll but Tina caught on & shrugged her shoulders as she turned to face him with a small grin forming on her lips at the sight.

"It won't be weird! Anyway, my darling dipshit best friend, you are not Eli. He can get away with the chemistry pun t-shirt & blazer. You, on the other hand, have to look your best. You need to get laid."

Having practically grown up with Gavin, with them being best friends ever since Gavin had joined the DPD, Tina was relatively close with Gavin's brother too. There had been many times where they all spent the holidays together because Tina didn't have a supportive family, so she would spend her free time with the Kamski's.

With Gavin having been sworn to secrecy, Tina wasn't entirely sure on what happened in those two months where Gavin was locked away until he could gain control of his limbs without it being too noticeable that there was something wrong. All she was told was that he was injured in action & needed time to recover, but she knew there had to be more to it due to the whole name change situation. Something serious had gone on & some days she assumed it was better that she didn't know, especially with how bristly Gavin would get upon it being brought up. But, just as so they were alone & they could not be overheard, she didn't see why they couldn't talk about Elijah being Gavin's brother.

"Tina. I do not need to get la-"

"Uh-huh, whatever you say, tough guy. You spend months cooped up off work & I wasn't even allowed to bring you your favourite meal! Not to mention, when you came back, you didn't even talk to me outside of the break room! I forgive you, I know things have been difficult, but, I will not forgive you if you do not get some dick tonight-" She let out a mischievous laugh as she stepped up to Gavin to help tie his bow tie that he had not yet got to as she continued, "Gav, you look incredible. Who knew you could clean up so well, huh? This could be good for you!"

"Yeah, yeah, you sound like Chloe." Gavin muttered in a mildly callous tone in response as he swatted Tina's hand away to straighten his bow tie out for himself, grumbling nonsensically under his breath about how she isn't his mom.

"Well, maybe that's because Chloe is right, Dipshit. You know she only wants what's best for you... And for Em."

Gavin fell quiet at that. He simply shrugged his shoulders as he gently pushed past Tina to look in the mirror as he tried his best to fix his hair so it looked less disheveled & more presentable. He decided to scrap using gel to hold it in place & was now hoping that just as so they didn't get caught in the rain, it would stay in place. Without product, his hair looked fluffier, softer, as if he had put effort into his appearance if you ignored the stubbly 5 o'clock shadow that he refused to shave. It helped hide the accumulation of scars that littered his once mildly attractive face.

Emma, better known as Em by everybody in Gavin's life was Gavin's twelve year old daughter. She was, as Gavin liked to put it, 'the tiny super genius'. He thoroughly believed that depending on what route she took in life, she could either put the Kamski's out of business or make them millions. The girl was an almost silent tech genius. But, nobody expected anything less when her father & uncle were usually the smartest people in any given room.

Since the incident though, Gavin was unable to look after Emma, hell, he couldn't even make her breakfast & as he shut himself in, he in turn, shut her out. When he was locked away in the Cyberlife facility for two months, Elijah & Chloe took on looking after Emma & she now lived with them in Elijah's fancy home near Belle Isle. With the Cyberlife Tower being in view from the windows in Elijah's house, Emma enjoyed living there as she liked getting to see the pretty lights at night time.

Gavin got to see her each week & as he progressively got his life back on track, he would eventually be able to gain full custody of her once more & if she wished it, she could live back with him. 

When he was dropped off of that ledge, the really did lose everything.

As Gavin studied his features in the mirror, his brows furrowed together as he glanced to Tina through the reflection, mumbling in a rough voice, anxiousness beginning to lace his words, "can't I just stay at home? Nobody is going to want to look at this face-"

"Would you get over yourself, Gavin!" Tina snapped back, more bite than she intended in her words as she grabbed Gavin's shoulders, turning him around so they were facing one another again, her fingers delicately tracing along the large scar that trailed across the bridge of his nose & along his left cheek where it left a deep indent in his flesh. "You're no less of a person because of your scars. Besides, dumbass, chicks & dudes dig scars. That's just a known fact."

She smirked as she flicked his nose playfully, laughing as he crinkled it up before making her way towards the front door. "Now, c'mon, before we're late. I promise you're going to be alright. I'll be there, Eli & Chloe will be there. If it gets too much, I swear we can leave early, come back here & watch some shitty movies. Just at least try first, okay?"

Tina's ability to understand just how fucking infuriating his anxiety could be was something that Gavin had always admired about her. He pissed himself off with his anxiety constantly because although _he_ may want to do something, it was as if his brain had other ideas & would try to talk him out of it.

But, having her show endless support, patience & understanding - even giving him an out if he wanted - helped him to actually follow through with their plans.

Swiping his car keys from the nearby table, Gavin made his way over to the front door where he checked to be sure his cat wasn't about to dart out, leaving him with the job of having to chase the little bastard down. Once the coast was definitely clear, he unlocked the multitude of locks before heading out with Tina, locking the door behind them.

The pair made their way towards Gavin's car - his beloved sleek, wine red but almost black 2019 Dodge Charger - & climbed inside, bickering nonsense to one another as Gavin drove them towards the atrium where the bio-medical technology convention was being held.

Gavin had not been outside in a recreational way since the incident. He was stuck on desk duty at work so it wasn't as though he got to go to crime scenes either. The closest person he had to a partner, Chris Miller, would send over images from the crime scenes so Gavin could study them from the safe confines of the precinct. Although he enjoyed getting to be inside, he hated not being able to do his job properly. Albeit morbid, he missed going to the scene of a crime.

Other than driving to & from work & picking up the bare minimum of groceries needed, he was a complete recluse. This convention was his chance to slowly ease his way back into society. Although it was a big step, he & Tina never missed attending those sorts of meetings if Cyberlife were going to be there. They were too loyal to Elijah to not show their support by attending.

After a long drive of the duo badly singing to whatever shit played on the radio these days, they were at the convention. Before they knew it, they were dragged into conversations with familiar faces who Gavin could tell were trying their hardest to not bring up the fact that the last time they had seen him, his face hadn’t been littered with scars that quite literally left the door open for questioning what happened. 

They listened to a few spokeswomen & men before listening to Elijah speak on stage about the technology that they were so close to revealing that would take Detroit by storm. It didn't take long for Gavin to groan about needing a drink & for Tina to hand him her credit card to pay for the drinks as promised, kissing his cheek before making her way over to talk with Stacy who she had spotted sitting alone at one of the tables.

Gavin found himself at the convention's bar, which, of fucking course, was situated on a balcony that overhung the main hall with a spiral staircase attached. 

After making it up the stairs without too much difficulty on his leg, all the while convincing himself that if he got drunk enough, he wouldn't care that he was so high up, he got himself situated at the bar & ordered a few shots. How sad was it that he was doing shots by himself?

From where he was situated at the bar, he was able to overlook the whole of the convention & he was grateful that the rest of the balcony was relatively quiet besides the bartender & the odd person coming & going. 

He sat for a while, scanning the room & taking in his surroundings, willing himself to stay calm. People were chatting away, smiling & laughing as pleasantries were exchanged. It was a strange feeling; all of these people were talking about the possibilities of the very technology that existed inside of him. They speculated how it would work, what it would look like, how much it would cost, yet, every single one of the people in this room completely overlooked him. 

If only they knew, if only they-

Gavin's train of thought was effectively derailed as he locked eyes with a man from across the room who was looking directly at _him_. What was that about being overlooked?

Even though the man was on the lower floor, he seemed very intent on looking in Gavin's direction.

The mysterious man was sitting at one of the tables on the far side of the atrium with a beautiful, heavy set woman sat beside him & a few other men sitting around them, all dressed to the nines, just as the rest of the room, but something about the man stood out from everybody else.

The way the man was looking, no, watching him, had a weirdly familiar thrill running through his metal spine, not that he could pinpoint why though.

Gavin was grateful in that moment that he remembered to put in his contacts that morning because that way he could see the way those stormy pools of grey were staring at him, studying his every movement as if there were no others in the room but him.

The man had one hand wrapped around a whiskey glass, his fingers tapping against it. His hair was almost black, curly but neatly styled besides one stray lock of hair that fell over his forehead. He was wearing a black suit, black dress shirt to match but the blazer had intricate red designs embroidered along the lapels of it which matched the red of the dress that the woman beside him was wearing.

A shy smile tugged at the edges of Gavin's mouth as he held the man's gaze, savoring the way in which it made butterflies the size of crows fluttering around his insides that for once, were not from his nerves. But, the man didn't smile back. He didn't show any emotion at all, for that matter. He simply, watched. Head ever so slightly tilted to the side.

A long scar ran along the right side of the man's face, running from the right side of his forehead, cutting through his eyebrow & across his eye as it trailed down his cheek. Fuck, whatever did that must have hurt. A part of him wondered if the man could see out of his right eye or if whatever had caused that damage had also affected his vision. Was the man staring because Gavin may be the only other person in the room with a noticeably imperfect face? Fuck, that had to be it. There was no way he was staring for any other reason than to be amused by the mess that was his face. Nobody that beautiful would pay attention to a man such as himself.

 _"Fuck."_ Gavin breathed as he let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding, ducking his head shyly upon realising that he had locked eye contact with the mysterious man for far too long by that point.

Distracting himself, Gavin downed another one of the shots he had ordered as he threw a few glances in Tina's direction to see how she was getting on. A small smile fell upon his lips as he caught onto both women laughing, Tina tucking her hair behind both of her ears - a tell that she unknowingly did when she was super into whoever it was that she was conversing with.

With a smug grin after downing yet another shot, the detective pulled out his phone to text Tina.

[Gavin Oct 1st 8:43 P.M]

_*peach emoji* *water droplet emoji* And you said I was gonna be the one gettin' laid_

[Gavin Oct 1st 8:44 P.M]

_Go with her. I'll b fine. I'll txt u when I'm home_

Grin never leaving his lips, Gavin ordered himself a whiskey sour to change things up. He sheepishly glanced over his shoulder towards where the mysterious man had been sat but furrowed his brows upon seeing the seat empty.

Fuck.

He was going to have to find out who that man was. He was... Alluring.

Turning back to his drink, he slouched in his seat slightly as he stared down at the honey brown liquid with a lemon slice in it. Drinking alone in a room full of people while his best friend was about to get laid while he was too chicken shit to say hi to the guy who had caught his attention? Sounds like the most Gavin fucking Reed thing he could think of thus far. Reed was a shell of a man. Reed was nothing like what Kamski once was.

Trying to drag himself from his self pitying thoughts, he was about to turn & look in Tina's direction to see if she had checked her phone & ended up almost face planting her chest instead.

Tina had crept up the stairs & right up to his side with a cheeky grin on her lips. Stacy was standing just a little behind her, the bow tie she was wearing now loose around her neck, top button of her shirt undone. Gavin dropped his eyes to see them holding hands, a small smirk forming on his lips but before he had the chance to speak up, Tina beat him to it.

"You're drinking, which means..." She dragged out the 'ea' sound which showed she wanted something. That theory was proven right as she reached her hand into Gavin's blazer pocket to pull out his car keys, dangling them in front of his face. "I have to borrow the Dodge... Please." Yet again, on the 'ea' sound in 'please', she dragged it out as she fluttered her lashes at Gavin, pulling the most innocent face she could muster.

"Wha-ugh, fine. Just don't scratch it." His smirk lingered as Tina's eyes widened in excitement at him agreeing to let her drive his car without him in it, knowing how much it meant to him & how he trusted no one with it. She kissed all over his face as she mumbled out ecstatic 'thank you's between each kiss before making her way down the stairs, heading towards the exit with Stacy.

 _Mission accomplished,_ Gavin thought to himself. Before Tina got too far though, Gavin shouted, "no making a phckin' mess in the backseat!"

Tina flipped him off as she left, a few heads turning in his direction upon his raised voice but he simply ducked his head to return to nursing his drink. Now Tina was gone, it was weird how even in a room full of people, he felt alone. Out of place.

With a quiet sigh, Gavin flexed his fingers on his left hand before picking his drink back up as he slid out of his bar stool so he could go & find Elijah or maybe Chloe & proceed to give them an awkward congratulations on not fucking up the speech & for having everyone believe that they actually had something to show to the world soon. Maybe then he wouldn't have to live in secrecy any longer over all of the tech that was currently keeping him from turning into a blob of useless matter on the floor.

That thought alone had a pathetic chuckle escape his lips.

Before he had the chance to make it very far from the bar to find Chloe or Elijah, a larger man bumped into him, causing Gavin's drink splash all down his blazer. "Hey! Watch it, Dickhead!" Gavin spat with immediate hostility before he had the chance to pull the words in & twist them into something that wouldn't get him into trouble. But, at this point, he was beginning to think he should have legally changed his middle name to 'fucking moron' at the same time as changing his last name to Reed.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you're calling a dickhead, Scarface?" The taller, burlier man spat back as he stepped into Gavin's personal space. The man reeked of alcohol, which had Gavin internally feeling mildly better about the fact he wasn't the only one showing up at a swanky convention simply for the overpriced booze. Shame the guy was a cunt. Maybe they could have been drinking buddies.

But no, he had to bring up the face, didn't he?

"Dude, you spilled my drink. The least you could do is apologise. Or, y'know, buy a guy a new one-" Gavin flashed the man the most charming smile he could muster, showing off his pearly whites, followed by a god awful, tipsy attempt at a wink.

 _Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea,_ Gavin's thoughts ran the same two words on repeat as he had clearly antagonised the man if the fist that was going to collide with his face was anything to go by.

Trust it to be Gavin who was able to start a goddamn bar fight at a fancy convention. Then again, why were drunk people so easily at the ready to throw down no matter where they were? Oh well. At least this way it could make his night a little more interesting.

It was as if everything went in slow motion. He could so easily calculate what was happening, even in his mildly tipsy state. He wasn't sure how, it felt almost like a dream. Usually, when he got into fights, everything happened so fast that he couldn't keep up. He ended up with injuries that he wasn't even sure how he had sustained. But this time, it was different. Ever since he got out of Cyberlife, everything was just, well, _different._

He knew exactly what was about to happen but that did not mean he was smart enough to do anything about it.

Whether it was a longing to actually feel something or an excuse to punch the asshole right back, Gavin simply stood, allowing the man's knuckles to meet with his nose with a loud crunch.

 _Fuck. That hurt way more than expected,_ Gavin thought to himself as he slammed his glass onto the bar's surface so he could cup his nose with a quiet groan as he felt a warm liquid begin to slowly seep down from his nose & onto his upper lip.

"Jeez, you could have just told me to fuck off. Talk about anger issues, man." Gavin sneered, his words slightly muffled by his hands covering his face. Using the back of his blazer sleeve, he swiped across his face before the man could get the luxury of seeing him bleed. Good job his blazer was black, even he couldn't see his own blood on it.

In the same, swift motion, the detective threw a punch right back using his left hand, knowing full well that metal was going to hit a hell of a lot harder than bone. But, he hadn't quite calculated for the man to have more sense than Gavin clearly did & ducked so Gavin's fist flew straight past him & into the immaculate jawline of a different man who was perched on the edge of his bar-stool behind the guy who Gavin had tried to punch.

_Fuck._

Gavin was about to spew a reel of apologies so he didn't end up with two men ganging up on him & beating the shit out of him, but his words got choked up in his throat as the man ever so slowly raised his head from where he was looking down at his whiskey, seeming completely unphased by the assault he had just received. Instead, the man tilted his head just enough to look in Gavin's direction, familiar steel-grey eyes narrowing as they locked onto him with great scrutiny.

_Double fuck._

"Oh fuck, shit, I-fuck. I'm so sorr-" Gavin tripped over his words & made no progress in actually getting out his apology without making a total ass of himself. 

His piss poor attempt at saying sorry was cut short as the other man shoved Gavin again, but this time, he gripped onto the lapels of his blazer & all but dragged Gavin towards the edge of the balcony, rambling about how nobody is going to call him a dickhead & get away with it that easily before shoving the detective up against the railings causing Gavin to wince in pain as his back hit into the metal of the railings.

_Triple fuck._

Gavin gulped as he felt his back being pressed into the metal, his fight or flight instincts immediately kicking in upon the realisation that it was merely a railing that came between him & falling. A railing that for all he knew, was not secure.

The man simply wanted to scare Gavin, to assert his dominance by pushing him around seeing as there were not many prying eyes on them that would be interested in intervening as everybody was on the floor below, distracted by their champagne & talks of the future.

The man wanted to make Gavin scared of the thought of having his ass handed to him but that's not where Gavin's anxiety riddled brain was at. No, his brain saw how high he was from the floor & being anymore than a few feet off the ground meant freak the fuck out. 

Struggling to keep his voice level, Gavin spat, "c'mon, man, get the fuck off me, would'ya?! Don't you think you're overreacting?!" Gavin scrambled to get free and his breath began to quicken in the process. He threw another punch, smirking as he actually landed this one on the man's cheekbones despite the look of pure anger crossing the man's face sending a nervous chill down his mechanical spine.

With Gavin's anxiety kicked into full throttle, he had a tendency to mask how nervous he was by lashing out & being angry instead. He'd rather people thought he was just an ignorant asshole than a spineless one... no pun intended.

So, he found himself momentarily arguing with himself over whether he should keep his mouth shut or not before he gets himself into an even bigger problem as the man shoved him harder against the railings. 

Who was he kidding? Of course he was going to open his mouth. "A little extreme, dont'cha think? Dude, you need to get laid. And people think I have too much pent up anger-" He cut himself off as he snickered at his own remark, which earned him a punch to the gut in the process. It would have had him doubling over in pain if it were not for the hand that was tangled into his hair, yanking up his head so he was forced to meet the asshole's eyes.

"Oh you are really gonna wish you hadn't said that.." The man smirked as he pressed himself against Gavin, their faces close enough for Gavin to be able to smell the bourbon on the man's breath, the man clenching his free hand into a tight fist.

Gavin half expected to feel his body to go tumbling over the railings, as his face got assaulted further but right as he screwed his eyes shut in anticipation of the punch, it never came.

Drawing in a panicked breath to try & keep his composure that was whittling away with every passing second of being on the god forsaken balcony, Gavin slowly opened his eyes as he felt the man let go of him.

No, he didn't let go. He was yanked away.

The mysterious man with the cold, silver-grey eyes had finally decided to intervene, silently getting involved like some sort of ninja. He pulled the man off of Gavin before he had the chance to hurt him further. But the stranger didn’t realise that the man was the sole reason that Gavin's legs hadn't failed him, so as soon as he pulled the man away, the detective fell onto his knees, eyes widening at seeing how high up he was from the floor below. 

With one hand clutching at his bow tie, Gavin tugged at it messily, his chest rising & falling heavily. He felt as though he couldn't breathe.

"You heard the gentleman, do you not think you are overreacting?" A smooth, sultry voice filled Gavin's ears & for the first time in months, it felt as though that voice was the only thing that could drown out the ever present static in his head. It spoke so eloquently, enunciating every word so none could be misheard so that it was something to focus on. A distraction. 

It was intoxicating. He wanted more. He _needed_ more.

All Gavin could do in that moment was watch as he tried his damnedest to focus on leveling out his breathing until he was back safely on the ground floor.

He watched as the grey eyed man shoved the other, punching him in the stomach once before stepping up close & murmuring something in the man's ear that Gavin couldn't hear. The man said something back, although, he wasn't sure what it was. But, if the fear painted across the asshole's face was anything to go by, then the guy knew who the grey eyed man was & he was _pissed._

Blinking back the haziness that was trying to tug at the edges of his vision from his inability to calm his breathing down, Gavin watched as the grey eyed man grabbed the other by the back of his neck, shoving the man's head close in Gavin's direction as that husky voice spoke up once more. "You are going to apologise to the kind Detective for causing an issue." Then, as if his dangerous demeanor wasn't enough, the man leaned over, murmuring, "and it better sound sincere."

As the man mumbled an apology with a voice that wavered with fear, Gavin could have sworn he saw the glint of something silver in the grey eyed man's other hand but he couldn't be sure as everything passed him by so quickly. Maybe if his brain wasn't swimming with such panic, he would have caught onto the fact the man somehow knew he was a detective, even though he was out of his uniform.

The stranger yanked the other man back up before shoving him hard enough that he stumbled into the bar-stools then, one of his hands disappeared into his pocket, the other reaching out for Gavin to take.

It took longer than it should have for Gavin to register but when he did, he snapped back into reality, reaching his right hand out to grab onto the man's hand & used it to help pull himself to his feet. Before he had the chance to react, the man kept a firm grip on Gavin's hand & tugged him towards the stairs. 

As he was pulled away from the scene, he glanced back to the man who had threatened him who was now slumped over the bar, the bartender's face washed with fear as he watched them leave.

The faintest sound of warning bells were sounding in his head, warning him to not get too comfortable around a man like that, someone who so clearly was nothing but trouble but, whether it was the alcohol buzzing through his system or his anxiety levels making him want to just get off of that fucking balcony, he simply looked ahead & willed his legs to not buckle as he was dragged by his hand down the stairs & out the back door of the convention that lead into the nearest back alley where they could have a moment to catch their breath.

"Holy shit.." Gavin panted as he leaned back against the brick wall of the alley, grateful for the coolness of the fresh air as he drew in deep breaths. Now he was off of the balcony, he could actually calm down & thank the alluring stranger for saving his ass back there. "Th-thanks, I, uh, I don't like heights."

"A man who does not like heights decided to drink alcohol on a balcony?" The man tilted his head with a curious look in his eyes & studied Gavin closely, standing barely a few inches away.

Being so close to the man, he was able to take in his features properly & oh how he wanted to run his fingers along that scar that ran down such a beautiful face.

If Gavin were feeling a little more poetic, he'd admit that they were not merely grey eyes but were silver. Silver like the moon's reflection on an angry ocean. An ocean that would only bring tragedy to those who stepped too close. He knew the type all too well. "Maybe I like the danger-" Gavin blurted out his thoughts before he could stop himself. 

"I can tell as such." A faint smirk tugged at the left side of the man's lips as he extended his hand. "Wolf. Richard Wolf." 

"Reed." Gavin shook the man's hand, which seemed odd considering he had already held that hand while escaping the convention. But at least he had a name for his knight in shining armor.  
  
"Gavin Reed."


	2. Little Red Riding Who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Against his better judgement, Gavin all but offers himself over to the hunter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I wanna write some thank yous real quick!  
> Thank you so much to thepeachesaresour on tumblr for creating  
> [this](https://thepeachesaresour.tumblr.com/post/189749161463/oh-look-another-example-of-how-much-lower-my) lovely piece of Gavin with his bionic arm!! <3  
> Second, there is smut near the end of this chapter that you can thank Leonixon for helping me write !!  
> As always, thank you, [V](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacebiotics/) for helping me to edit this & making my ideas actually make sense. I'd be a lil lost without ya.
> 
> Happy reading!

His back colliding with the alleyway wall made a soft grunt of discomfort escape Gavin’s lips, his brows creasing together in the process. But, that frown was quickly scrubbed from his features & replaced with a small smirk as the silver eyed man - Richard - boxed him in against the wall, leaning his weight against one hand that was propped against the wall beside Gavin’s head. His other hand sitting far too confidently in his pant’s pocket. He was so close that Gavin could smell the faint scent of Chypre cologne.

 _“Gavin Reed.”_ Richard echoed softly in that voice that seemed to have ever present sultry undertones; something he knew would never change.

Gavin had never liked the way his name sounded on someone else’s lips before. But, right in this moment, he wanted to hear it be said, no, _moaned_ , again & again by this man. It was intoxicating & he didn’t even know Richard outside of his name.

Gavin wanted to hear the way in which his name rolled off of Richard’s tongue while interlaced with moans of bliss. 

Fuck.

Drawing in a deep breath of fresh air, or as fresh as back alley Detroit air could be, Gavin tipped his head back slightly to meet the man’s eyes. Fuck, Richard was tall, six foot two at least. Gavin pushed down the urge to lean forward and ravage this man with kisses & instead chose to speak up, attempting to hide the crack in his voice with a less than subtle cough. 

“You eye-fuck every lonely bastard you see at a gala then drag them into a back alley like some Big Bad Wolf? Ha! Get it? Wolf, you sir, are a big, bad-”

The wolfish smirk that crossed Richard’s lips as he cocked his head ever so slightly, followed up by the dangerous glint in his eye was enough to have Gavin physically swallowing down the next set of words before he dug himself a deeper hole.

The silence that followed that dangerous grin gave Gavin a moment to internally cringe at his own idiocy & lack of ability to not sound like a complete & utter fucking dumbass at any given opportunity. But, seeing the way the man who had him boxed against a back alley wall with nobody else around smirk at being called such a thing had a tiny voice in the back of Gavin’s head warning him to get out while he still could.

This man was bad news. His mind was feebly trying to warn him but his body was having none of it. He was so close to Richard, he could feel the warmth radiating from the man. Being _that_ close to someone so unfairly gorgeous? There was no way he was going to be thinking with anything other than his goddamn dick, obviously.

“Would that make you my Little Red Riding Hood?” Richard shot back as his eyes studied Gavin’s every little feature. 

Gavin was grateful that Richard had brushed over the part where he said ‘eye-fuck’; not one of his finest inclusions.

Usually, if someone stared at him for this long, Gavin would have punched them right in the nose for it because he was far too self conscious over the scars that littered his face. Maybe it was because Richard was scarred too, or maybe it was something more, Gavin wasn’t sure. All he was sure of was that he was okay with Richard staring.

“You know the wolf ate her in the original Grimm’s fairy tale, right?” He mused, red flags were waving in his mind but Gavin yanked them down & promptly set them alight. He ran his hands slowly along Richard’s chest & licked his lips to dampen them slightly. Richard was the predator & he was the prey, yet, Gavin found himself wanting to get lost in the jaws of the hunter.

Richard’s smirk didn’t falter at Gavin’s remark. However, it did fade as he leaned in to leave careful little kisses along Gavin’s neck, catching the detective completely off guard. Gavin tipped his head back against the brick wall, letting out a little gasp followed by a soft ‘oh fuck’ at just how fucking soft Richard’s lips were against the most sensitive spot beneath his jaw.

“How… _Grim._ Poor Little Red Riding Hood…” Richard murmured his reply against Gavin’s flesh, his words far too smug for something with such morbid undertones.

As a detective, Gavin had a knack for being able to read people. He knew for a fact that Richard was using that alluring voice of his to his advantage. He knew exactly what this man wanted & how this night was going to end & quite frankly, he was fine with it. 

Gavin was more than fine with it, actually. Every time Richard spoke & each soft kiss had a jolt of arousal shooting through his abdomen. That, however, didn’t mean he was going to give in so easily.

Richard pressed himself up against Gavin’s smaller frame as he sank his teeth into his neck, tugging a strangled yelp that quickly morphed into a moan from Gavin who just barely managed to breathe out, “I-Is that a gun in your belt or are you just happy to see me?”

He felt the way Richard grinned against his neck after leaving a particularly prominent hickey that he was going to have a field day attempting to cover up while at work.

“Do you want me to answer that one honestly, Detective?” 

“Mm... not really. Might have to arrest your ass for carrying an unlicensed firearm at a convention that prohibits it.” Gavin answered in a voice that was far more gruff than he would have liked. 

Against his better judgment, Gavin took up running his hands through Richard’s hair - the bastard knew what he was doing. Distracting him with his seductions & fuck, he was falling for it; hook, line & sinker.

“You know…” Gavin trailed off to pause & properly collect his thoughts. One of his hands dropped from Richard’s hair to snake along his torso where it came to a stop at the taller man’s belt & yep, there was definitely a pistol tucked beneath his shirt. “...You may have misread me, Wolf. Maybe I’m the Huntsman.” His eyes flashed with mischievous intent, his voice just as sly as the one that was being used against him. 

_Two can play at this game, Wolf._ Gavin thought passively.

He pushed Richard’s gun from his mind; it was his evening off & for once he wanted to be selfish & enjoy himself. He deserved it

The small grin that tugged at the left side of Richard’s face was unmissable as he pulled away from where he was assaulting Gavin’s neck with bites & kisses.

Even as he dropped his eyes to the detective’s hand before returning them to study Gavin’s face, his other hand finally fucking leaving his pocket so he could grip Gavin’s jawline, the grin lingered.

He leaned in close to the shorter man’s ear & murmured Gavin’s earlier words back to him, the sentence thick with seduction, “Maybe I like the danger too…”

Without giving Gavin the chance to respond, Richard’s grip on his jaw tightened as he leaned in to press his lips to Gavin’s, kissing him heatedly. Gavin’s hands immediately began to fumble with Richard’s belt as he kissed back with just as much passion, his eyes fluttering shut as the kiss deepened, Richard pressing himself impossibly closer against Gavin’s body.

The kiss grew hot & heavy far more quickly than intended. 

Gavin’s tongue swept across Richard’s lower lip, demanding entry to which the other gladly accepted before he sharply nipped at Gavin’s tongue. The action caused him to let out a soft sound of both pleasure & confusion as he broke the kiss mostly out of surprise. He furrowed his brows but before he had the chance to question it, Richard spoke.

“Not here.” He said in a voice that was a little less smooth than it had been a few moments prior. His composure was going to slip. Gavin was going to be sure of it. 

Richard’s hand that was once on the wall came down to rest over Gavin’s wrist to stop him from continuing on his quest to get Richard out of his way too tight pants.

“Your place?” Gavin started before muttering, “Shit… Tina took my car-”

“No, yours.” Richard smirked as he grabbed Gavin’s hand once more, dragging the man out of the alleyway & towards the convention’s car park rather hastily. 

Gavin was glad there weren’t many other people around because even though Richard looked immaculate as ever, Gavin looked like a hot mess. His hair was disheveled, his bow-tie & top button of his shirt undone from his earlier panic, his cheeks were flushed & his lips were damp.

“I have informed Brittney that I shall be taking the car. She has made other travel arrangements with a... colleague of mine.” Richard informed him bluntly & Gavin didn’t miss the way in which Richard hesitated on the word ‘colleague’. Who was this guy?

“Brittney?” Gavin questioned, the disappointment in his voice far too evident at the thought of Richard being just another closeted sleazebag in a suit, using Gavin as a way to get off behind his wife’s back only to cast him aside when they were done. Something that had happened far too often before his accident. Richard, however, was quick to shoot down that assumption.

“My secretary, of sorts. She attended this gala with me tonight & has expressed her displeasure of me choosing to pursue you.” 

“Oh... Well, can’t say I don’t appreciate the honesty.” Gavin grumbled, already deciding that he wasn’t a fan of this secretary. She must have been the woman who he had seen sat beside Richard earlier on in that evening. Come to think of it, he did see the way she watched Richard with careful intent while Richard was, well, watching him.

Why did Richard need a secretary? Again, who the hell was this gu- Gavin’s thoughts stopped dead in their tracks as he cast his gaze over the car that Richard was unlocking. 

“Holy fucking shit! This is your car?! _Oh man_.” Gavin grinned as his inner mechanic geek decided to peek out as his hand trailed along the sleek, black paint of the car.

“One of them, yes. It’s a Shel-” 

“Shelby GT350 Ford Mustang… Yeah, I know. I built an engine for one of these from the bottom up.” Gavin’s eyes had an excited gleam to them as he dragged them away from the car to look at Richard who, if he wasn’t mistaken, seemed rather impressed.

“You build cars, Gavin?” Richard questioned with a genuine curiosity that Gavin had never heard somebody use while regarding him.

“ _Built._ Past tense. I used to repair engines in my free time during college. I guess being smart when it comes to machinery had some use.” He shrugged, not actually being used to talking about himself outside of his mandatory therapy sessions. 

_Yeah, now you’re the machinery. How does that feel?_ His brain mocked him bitterly.

“Interesting.” Richard spoke with sincerity. He locked away that knowledge for later as he made his way to the passenger side door, opening it up for Gavin to enter. 

A sheepish smile crept onto Gavin’s face as he got himself seated in the car. He could feel the way his cheeks were heating up again at Richard’s gentlemanly act & forced himself to admire the car’s interior as means of a distraction. Richard shut the door & made his way to the drivers side, wasting no time in putting the key in the ignition, the car quickly purring to life.

If Gavin had been paying attention to his surroundings rather than running one of his hands along Richard’s thigh, he would have stopped to question how the hell Richard knew where he lived without having to ask.

Exactly like how he got so caught up in Richard’s charm, he didn’t question how the man knew he was a detective when he hadn’t mentioned it yet.

But, slowly edging his way closer to the man’s crotch & palming Richard’s half hard cock through his pants as he drove seemed far more important.

Even with his hands groping & touching at Richard, the man seemed completely unphased minus the little coy smirk that lingered on his lips. But, the gangster finally broke his silence as one hand came down to untuck his shirt, pulling his gun out from where it was tucked into his pant’s waistline.

Gavin’s actions froze momentarily before he finally withdrew his hands, sitting back in his seat as his anxieties finally settled into the pit of his stomach with enough force for him to properly pay attention to his surroundings.

He was in a car with a complete stranger who, as a detective, he fucking knew wasn’t a good man while that man was currently in control of a firearm. Bright side? The safety was on. 

Which, was a pretty fucking stupid bright side.

“Richa-”

“Somebody has been tailing us since we left the gala.” He cut Gavin off, as he let go of the wheel completely to check the clip on the gun, nodding in approval at the fact he had definitely loaded it before one of his hands returned to the wheel.

“What-? So you’re just going to shoot them? Who the fuck are you?” Gavin spat as he looked in the car’s side mirror to see a black car behind them before returning his eyes to watch every movement Richard made with the gun. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was but of fucking course the only guy who showed an interest in him was a criminal.

The man was right though, the black car behind them was right up against the rear end of Richard’s car & would hopefully be explanation as to why Richard seemed only half interested in Gavin’s hands on him.

As that thought passed through his mind, it had Gavin realising just how sad his life actually sounded. ‘Ah yes, the worry of being tailed & probably murdered is the reason I’m not totally turned on right now.’ Yeah, that did sound a little sad. It’d be worse if Gavin admitted that the thrill of the danger, beneath his anxieties, had a confusing excitement sitting in his stomach.

“Do not be absurd, Gavin, I am driving.” Richard spoke far too nonchalantly as he swerved around a corner. “Can you handle a weapon?”

“Can I handle a weapon-? I’m a fucking cop, of course I-” But, before he had the chance to finish his unimpressed response, he was cut off by the flat side of the gun being pressed to his chest. 

“Good. Because I’m not going to shoot them. You are.” 

“You got a lot of fucking nerve, Wolf. Getting a cop in your car then asking him to shoot someone because you think they’re tailing you? You do realise there are consequences to stuff like this, right? You’re going to get thrown in j-” 

“Not me, Detective. _You_. They are tailing you & if you had your wits about you, you would have seen them eyeing you at the convention. But, it seems as though you were distracted. Now, if I were you, I’d take the gun before you get us both killed as that, would be unfortunate.”

Gavin snatched the gun out of Richard’s hands, swiftly checking the clip again, even though Richard already had & flicked off the safety all in the matter of a few seconds. Oh fuck, he would be lying if he said he hadn’t missed the way the weight of the cool metal felt in his hands.

Whether Gavin was in his uniform or not, legally, he wasn’t allowed to carry or shoot a firearm until he had gone through his retrain; which was only a month away. Some bullshit regarding safety regulations. 

One more month & he could get back out in the field. Was he really going to put that on the line by fucking it all up now?

Once again, this was just another moment where Gavin realised that he was very good at making very bad decisions.

As Richard made his way past a few more tight corners with flawless execution, he pulled the car onto an open, silent main road. It didn’t take long for the other car to speed up, first bumping into the back of Richard’s Mustang to try & throw him off to no avail before they decided to pull up beside Richard’s car on the left side.

“Gavin.” Richard’s voice was stern, no waiver of nerves in his words even as he sped up to try & shake the other car from lining up too easily with his & possibly shooting either of them. 

With Richard’s tinted windows, it gave them the advantage of being able to see the other’s position before the other saw theirs. 

With Richard’s speed climbing up from 70MPH to 80MPH then from 80 to 90, the car beside them was struggling to match the speed while keeping their driving steady. Thankfully, Richard used this to their advantage & made his way onto an almost empty highway.

“Gavin, I’m going to wind down my window as they catch up & you’re going to shoot past me & hit them, do you understand?” He wasn’t necessarily speaking down to Gavin as if he were a child but mostly speaking clearly so nothing could be misinterpreted. 

But, fuck, did Gavin hate himself for coil of lust that circled around his abdomen at Richard’s demanding tone.

 _Not the time to think with your dick, Gavin._ He scolded himself & couldn’t help but run Tina’s words through his head when she had once said he must have a ‘danger kink’ with how reckless his behaviour had always been.

He never was going to gain any medals for not being a fucking idiot.

Even with the climbing speed of their cars & the underlying danger of being thrown off the highway if the moron who was tailgating them decided to try & ram into them again, Richard seemed far more composed than when he was assaulting Gavin’s neck prior to getting into the car.

Trying his very best to push down the nerves that were threatening to leave his hands a shaking mess, Gavin attempted to channel his adrenaline to keep his head on straight as he shifted in his seat slightly so his aim would be better. 

He wasn’t about to tell this criminal bastard that he hadn’t even attempted to shoot a gun since he was thrown off of a god damn building nearly three months ago & hasn’t touched a firearm since.

Hell, half of his body was now replaced with robot parts so he had no fucking clue if his aim was as flawless as it once was. For all he knew, he could shoot, miss & end up shooting Richard in the fucking face or something instead. 

But, despite knowing this was a terrible fucking idea & it was most definitely not going to end well, he supposed there was no time like the present to find out if he could still shoot. What better practice than to aim at a moving target while also moving all the while trying to avoid the innocent... Or not so innocent. 

After all, shooting a wolf would be animal cruelty.

Gavin simply swallowed with a nod to affirm he understood what Richard was saying before wrapping his right hand around his left where he already had his finger on the trigger, aiming readily at the window.

“I trust you.” Richard spoke as he slowed his car ever so slightly, pressing the button to roll the window down. His eyes flickered to Gavin’s hands for barely a second before returning his eyes to the road.

“Yeah? Well you shouldn’t, Wolf. Huntsman, remember?” Gavin retorted with a nervous laugh as the second car pulled up beside them yet again with their passenger side window rolled down too. Thankfully, there was only the driver in the car. 

The next sequence of events passed by both far too quickly & slowly at once so it all jumbled into one confusing mess that threatened to fry Gavin’s brain.

When Gavin was a beat cop & even as a detective, he was always quick to pull his gun out on criminals & wouldn’t hesitate to pull the trigger if they dared make one wrong move. Granted he’d never shoot somebody who he thought had the chance at being innocent just incase, well, they were.

But, it was as though there was something inside of his brain which was telling him to incapacitate or disarm the enemy before going for the killshot. It was something that had never happened before & something that he found so deeply rooted within his own mind that he was unable to control it or fight against it.

So, he calculated his shot as the world around him slowed to a point where he was able to properly focus. He gripped the gun tighter & pulled the trigger so his bullet hit the driver of the other car in the hand, effectively shooting the gun out of their grip without having to kill them.

Then, just as quickly as time had slowed to allow him to focus, it sped up once more as a strangled yelp from the other car could be heard. The driver pulled on the wheel in surprise at being shot in the hand which then caused the car to swerve. The wheels screeched as they battled to grip the road at the high speeds they were going at before ultimately failing & crashing into the railings of the highway, tumbling off the edge & getting lost somewhere in the masses of trees below. 

Gavin’s brows creased upon the ever present static in his head morphing into an actual pain. He went to press the palm of his free hand against his eye, but as soon as he brought his hand up, the pain diminished & the only thing that remained was that soft static.

The sickening fact that that could have so easily been them if it were not for Richard’s sturdy driving & the fact that Richard had a gun to begin with had Gavin’s mind conflicted as to whether he should thank the man beside him or channel his nerves into anger just like he always did & shout at him for putting him in a situation where he had no choice.

“H-holy fucking shit, holy fucking shit! You motherfucker! We could have been killed!” Gavin gasped out, not realising that he had been holding his breath the whole time. He used the gun in his hands to his advantage & trained it on Richard, who in return, eyed him out of his peripheral vision but otherwise seemed completely impassive.

“You’re not going to shoot me, Gavin.”

“Stop the fucking car, asshole! We gotta call this in! Whoever that was could be dying in a ditch right about now!”

“The world would be much better off for it if that were the case.” Richard retorted as he slowed the car down to a more legal speed as he turned off the highway & onto the streets that were closer to the east side of the city where Gavin’s apartment complex was located.

“I said stop the car.”

“Ah, yes & allow you to call in a drive by? What are you going to tell your superiors, Detective? That you handled a, what did you call it, ‘unlicensed firearm’? Shot a person & caused them to swerve off of the road & crash their car? Or would you rather keep it quiet & if they live, it shall be dealt with accordingly. If they die, nobody but you & I will be any wiser.” 

He hated to admit it but, Richard was right. If anybody at the precinct found out that he handled a firearm before his retrain, he’d likely never get to go out in the field again. 

Not to mention, if this prick really was tailing him & not Richard then there was a slim chance it could have been somebody who knew about the technology that was in his body. Hell, it could have been whoever the fuck ‘Nines’ was coming to finish the job, if that were the case, then Richard was right to say the world would be better off if that bastard was dying in a ditch.

“You’re a manipulative prick, did you know that?” Gavin muttered as he took the clip out of the gun & pocketing it before flicking the safety on for good measure & tossing it into Richard’s lap.

“So I have been told.” With those words lingering heavily in the air, the rest of the car journey was relatively quiet. Richard seemed to get almost lost in his own world as he drove, something that Gavin understood all too well & although he was pissed, he didn’t quite have the heart to argue with the man who did essentially save his ass. For all he knew, that other person could have killed him if he were to have gone home alone.

So instead, he slouched into his seat as he steadied his breathing, looking down at his hands while flexing his fingers, the soft sound of Frank Sinatra flowing from the speakers.

After being lost in his thoughts for a moment, he felt a warm hand ever so gently place itself on his thigh, thumb rubbing softly against him. The action had him almost flinch as he stared down at the hand before looking up to its owner.

Richard was looking between him & the road, offering Gavin a soft smile. A smile that he should have known better than to trust.

“They could have hurt you, Gavin. And by the looks of things, you’ve already been hurt enough.” Richard spoke in a softer voice this time around & he didn’t miss the way in which Gavin’s muscles tensed beneath his hand at the mention of his scars being brought up, even if indirectly.

Gavin allowed those words to hang in the air. He was torn between thanking the fucker for saving his ass or being the stronger man & shoving Richard’s hand away, going home & forgetting that any of his evening had happened.

But Gavin was not a strong man. He was quite the opposite.

So as Richard’s hand rubbed along the fabricated muscle in his left thigh, all Gavin could think about was the warmth of Richard’s touch & how it somehow managed to dull the ever present ache in his bones & quieten the static that lingered in his mind. 

He had been in Richard’s company for not even twelve hours & the man had already saved his ass twice, calmed him down from two panic attacks & had a thrill of adrenaline pumping through his veins which wouldn’t settle.

After the events of the evening, Gavin found that he had all of this built up energy that he hadn’t felt in a long time & found himself in need of a distraction; a way to burn it off.

He allowed one of his fingers to trail along the scar that crossed the expanse of Richard’s hand that was gripping his thigh, the faintest of smirks lingering on his lips. He had his very own distraction sitting right beside him. Fuck making good decisions. That wasn’t his style.

The second that Richard pulled into the apartment complex’s garage, Gavin clambered over to seat himself in Richard’s lap after putting the gun on the dash.

Richard’s hands found their way onto Gavin’s thighs, rubbing at them gently as he spoke up. “Well, this wasn’t exactly how I was expecting my evening to go.”

“Is that a complaint?” Gavin retorted far more quickly than he had initially intended. Of fucking course he was still thinking with his dick. Fuck, Tina was right. Danger really did get him going.

“No.” Richard stated simply as he tilted his head, studying the lust that was so clearly written all over Gavin’s face.

It wasn’t one sided, however. Gavin could see the way Richard’s pupils were dilated as he looked at him, even when Gavin had his gun trained on him earlier, Richard had a twinkle of arousal in his eyes. He was getting off on the danger just as much as Gavin was, if not more so.

This led to Gavin wasting no time in kissing the criminal as he pressed his hip down against Richard’s.

While kissing Gavin back deeply, Richard’s hand reached down to pull the lever that pushed the seat back, giving them more space to work with. Then, his hands found their way to Gavin’s blazer & pushed it down from around his shoulders, Gavin helping to pull it off & throw it to the passenger seat without breaking the kiss.

It was hot, messy & continued for a while, their lips only parting every so often as Richard slipped out of his own blazer, Gavin taking off the man’s bow-tie & making work at unbuttoning Richard’s shirt; that being where they hit their first metaphorical road-bump.

Gavin pulled back from the kiss with a frustrated sigh, dropping his head to Richard’s shoulder as he grumbled out an embarrassed apology at being unable to undo Richard’s shirt past the first button.

“Hey…” Richard let out a soft sigh as he caught a much needed breath, shifting so he could push Gavin’s shoulder gently but enough so that Gavin was looking at him. Once Gavin finally decided to meet his eyes, the gangster picked up both of the detective’s hands in his own, planting a kiss to his knuckles on each hand. “Nervous?”

“Fuck, no.” Gavin spat with more bite than he intended, especially after Richard was being so patient with him. 

Given he had a panic disorder, asking such a question was a fair assumption to make given his shaking hand. But, no, that wasn’t the reason why his left hand wasn’t cooperating with what he was trying so desperately to make it do.

Although he could hold his coffee cups & his work tablet, even though he could type on a computer, albeit slowly, he still struggled when it came to minuscule things such as buttoning up clothes, or holding a pen, or fuck, even writing on paper. He couldn’t even get Richard’s belt undone for fuck sake.

“It’s difficult to explain. Call it nerve damage.” Gavin settled on. Yeah, no, just like earlier, there was no way he was going to tell this probable criminal that he’s half fucking robot. He was sure Chloe would kill him before he had the chance to anyhow.

A look of concern just barely creased up Richard’s features before they returned to their usual stoic state as he nodded in understanding. 

“We can take it slowly.” He stated simply & thankfully, didn’t question it. He figured if Gavin wanted to talk about it, then he would in his own time. But right now, it was none of his business to pry over such matters. So, Richard let go of Gavin’s hands & slowly began to unbutton his own shirt as he planted a kiss to one of the particularly deep scars that sat half hidden by Gavin’s scruff on his jaw.

As he kissed along Gavin’s jawline, ignoring the way in which it tickled his lips, he spoke in that seductive fucking tone that had Gavin finding it almost impossible to think of anything other than how fantastic it would feel to have Richard inside of him. “Would you like to take this to your apartment before we end up making a mess in my car?”

The moment Gavin agreed, they found themselves making it past the security guard that Gavin acknowledged with the equivalent of a grunt & stumbled into the elevator. Gavin slammed Richard against the wall with more force than he realised as he kissed along Richard’s neck, drinking in the very faint moans until the soft ‘ding’ of the elevator told them they had made it to the first floor of the complex.

From there, Gavin dragged Richard to his apartment door where Richard was grateful that Gavin was in front of him so he missed the way he smirked ever so slightly upon seeing the neat, golden number nine drilled into the detective’s door.

How… _Poetic._

Barely a few minutes later & Richard was pushing Gavin down onto his bed as he climbed on top of him, his shirt having been taken off properly somewhere along the way.

He began kissing along Gavin’s neck before slowly descending down Gavin’s body & sinking between his legs as he mouthed at the exposed flesh with each button of Gavin’s shirt he undid. But, as Richard got to the last button & he was kissing closer towards Gavin’s happy trail, Gavin’s hands flew into Richard’s hair, tugging at it hard enough to pull the criminal back slightly.

“Not enjoying it?” Richard quipped first, licking his lips intentionally slowly as he stared up at Gavin, his hands freezing in place where they sat on the last button of his shirt.

“Fuck, no. I mean, yes I’m enjoying it! It’s just…” Gavin’s voice trailed off as he looked down at Richard before flopping his head back against the pillows, his hands coming up to hide his face. 

Embarrassing moments during intimacy counter: Two. _And they had barely even started._

“Do you need me to stop?”

“No! No, it’s just.. I got a lot of scars.” Gavin murmured from beneath his hands that were still covering his face. 

There was a beat of silence & everything felt very still but before he had the chance to ruminate on what he was doing, he felt Richard shift & two hands ever so gently wrap around his wrists, pulling his hands from his face. 

“Is that the only reason you’re hesitant?” Richard asked, patiently waiting for an answer & when Gavin nodded, that dangerous smirk tugged at the man’s lips once more. He maneuvered himself so he was holding both of Gavin’s wrists in one of his hands, pinning them above the detective’s head as he leaned in to kiss him deeply. His other hand ran down Gavin’s torso to find its way back to that last button & made work of getting it undone with ease. 

Fucking show off.

The way Richard seemed so unphased by something that not only made Gavin self conscious but also made other people rather uncomfortable, it had a buzz of warmth flutter throughout Gavin’s chest. 

_It’s just sex, Dipshit. He’s being nice to get what he wants._ He tried hard to convince himself but as he repeated those words over in his mind, the warmth in his chest didn’t budge.

Once the last button of his shirt was undone, Richard let go of Gavin’s wrists so he could descend down his body once more. He didn’t attempt to take Gavin’s shirt off, but instead pushed it aside now it was unbuttoned so he could make work of kissing along one of the long scars that ran from somewhere beneath Gavin’s slacks & up along his left hip, it disappearing off around his back.

Then, he planted a kiss over the old gunshot scar on Gavin’s middle as he worked on getting the detective out of his pants. 

“You always this fucking gentle when hooking up with a stranger?” Gavin muttered, his self conscious state talking more than anything else & he silently prayed that Richard didn’t notice the way his voice threatened to crack slightly. It actually felt quite nice to have somebody litter his body with such gentle kisses. Not that he’d admit that.

“Somebody’s impatient. Well, have it your way then.” Richard’s grin was down right scary as he uttered those words, also making quick work of getting Gavin out of his boxers. He flipped the detective onto his front then pulled him up by his hips so most of Gavin’s weight was being balanced on his elbows.

Gavin winced at the sudden movement on his hip & knee but swallowed back the urge to point out that it fucking hurt as he felt Richard lean over him to reach into the bedside drawer to grab lube & a condom.

“Oh so predictable, Detective.” He spoke passingly as he coated his fingers in a generous amount of lube before pressing one gently against Gavin’s entrance.

“Shut the fuck up, _Criminal._ ” Gavin spat back, the smirk evident in his voice at his choice of name as he pressed impatiently back against Richard’s hand, gasping as Richard pressed his first digit inside agonisingly slowly. 

The choice of nickname may have been a sort of joke in Gavin’s mind, calling Richard that over the events that had taken place prior to them ending up in Gavin’s bed. But, that didn’t stop a small smirk from crossing Richard’s lips.

_If only you knew, Detective._

Once he felt Gavin was ready, Richard wasted no time in slipping in a second finger alongside the first, leaning over to kiss along the back of Gavin’s neck at the exposed olive flesh where Gavin’s shirt collar wasn’t in the way, drinking in the way Gavin gasped & mewled at every gentle thrust of his fingers.

“Anyone ever told you how pretty you sound?” Richard mused as he thrust his fingers in particularly roughly, curling them to press against Gavin’s inner walls to extract another surprised moan from Gavin’s lips.

“F-fuck! Fuck, do you ever shut the fuck up?” Gavin grumbled from where his face was buried against his forearms. He tried to bear down against Richard’s hand as the gangster thrust his fingers in & out of him, a long string of moans spilled from the detective’s lips in the process.

Richard’s head tilted ever so slightly upon the vulgar language that was being spewed his way but ignored it anyhow. Besides, he liked the fire that this detective seemed to have. Instead, he focused on himself just for a moment. After using his teeth to open the wrapping, he rolled the condom on before stroking himself with a generous amount of lube. 

“Tell me, Detective; are you prepped enough?” It was his last ditch effort at showing that his patience was growing thinner with each passive aggressive remark that Gavin made.

“I said shut the fuck up already. I can fuckin’ take it.” Gavin all but bit back in response. But Richard had heard the ever so slight shake of anticipation in that otherwise overly confident voice. 

He caught onto the way Gavin’s fingers shifted with nervous expectation, his muscles tightening slightly. It had Richard wondering just how long it had been since the man had a good fuck. He wondered if anyone could handle his brusque behavior long enough to spend the night in the first place. 

Richard assumed it to be rather unlikely seeing as in the time he had been watching the detective go about his daily life, Gavin always went home alone.

A soft whine escaped the man below him as he withdrew his fingers & splayed his hand on the base of Gavin’s spine.

Richard’s back stiffened slightly as he gripped his cock to guide it to Gavin’s entrance. He paused momentarily to admire the pure eagerness of the way in which Gavin attempted to press his hips back but Richard's firm hand on the man’s back had him unable to act on his impatience. He seemed intent on dragging the moment out longer than necessary but Gavin figured it was some form of silent revenge for his earlier hostile remarks.

“Are you always this eager for somebody’s cock, Gavin? Or is it just mine?” Richard’s smirk was almost evident in his tone as he ever so slowly pushed past that first ring of tight muscle, eliciting a drawn out whimper from Gavin.

Gavin knew for a fact that what little prep he had wouldn’t be sufficient enough for him to not feel the pain of Richard sinking into him but he didn’t care. He never did have a thing for having it be nice or slow. No, Gavin liked to push his luck, to poke the bear until it bit. He wanted to _feel_ it.

A hiss of pain escaped Gavin’s lips as he pressed his face into his forearms in a feeble attempt at muffling his pained grunt as Richard ever so slowly pushed in inch by inch.

Somehow, the pain just made Gavin more eager to try & take the criminal, attempting to push his hips back further. 

“Easy…” Richard soothed in a halfhearted manner. Nothing pleased him more in that moment than knowing his cock already felt _that_ good & even through the pain of the initial stretch, Gavin was already trying to seek out more. How… _greedy_. 

Further & further he pushed himself into the detective, intentionally taking his time with each painstaking inch, reveling in the way Gavin was gasping & moaning against his arms & they had barely even begun.

He wanted to watch this detective fall apart.

“I-I thought you’d be rougher th-than this.” Gavin gasped out, pausing to contemplate as to whether or not he should say his next few words but decided to follow through with his streak of bad decisions. “G-gotta say I’m disappointed.” 

Suddenly, Richard paused despite being almost completely settled into the detective. 

“Oh? We wouldn’t want that now, would we, _darling?_ ” Richard mused in a husky tone & before Gavin had the chance to spit out another remark at being called such a pet-name, Richard slammed into him the rest of the way.

“Fucking hell!” Gavin cried out loudly, the force having his knees almost buckle but with one of Richard’s hands firmly gripping his right hip, digging his nails in enough to leave little crescent shaped bruises, it kept Gavin steady.

Tears were threatening to trickle down his cheeks but he blinked them back & bit into his left arm to help muffle his whimpering moans, trembling around the cock that was fully seated inside of him. _Fuck._

Richard sat within him for a moment to allow Gavin to adjust. Never would he ruin his newfound toy by being too rough too fast. Not yet, at least.

Even with the prep, it was a tight fit & Gavin felt fucking fantastic around his dick. Whether it was the tightness & warmth of the detective or the fact it had been a long while since he himself had a memorable night, he wasn’t sure, but he liked to assume it was the former.

Not allowing his thoughts to stray too far, Richard regained his focus & ever so slowly pulled back a few inches & pressed back in, repeating the action with caution until the moans below him morphed from pain into pleasure. 

That may have to be changed soon. Depending on whether Gavin decided to try & bite back with more rough remarks or not.

He gradually began to pick up the pace, slamming into Gavin as gasps & grunts from the man below him cut through the air. The hand at the base of Gavin’s spine slowly traveled upward so he could lace his fingers through Gavin’s hair. Richard held the man’s head into the mattress, muffling the moans of his name that spilled from Gavin’s mouth with each thrust of his hips.

“Still with me, darling?” Richard chimed from above, cautious when it came to the fact Gavin could be finding it difficult to breathe with his head pressed so firmly into the mattress & pillows.

In response, the detective managed to tip his head to the side ever so slightly beneath Richard’s hand, gasping out a few much needed breaths before muttering, “Just sh-shut the fuck up & _move!_ ”

His words came out with far more bite than he had intended & Gavin would be lying if he said he wasn’t anticipating the inevitable smack to his face for it. But, it never came. Richard simply flashed that wolfish grin that was missed by Gavin due to the angle he was at & uttered, “if you insist” in a tone that shook ever so slightly.

And fuck, did Gavin want to hear more of Richard’s voice like _that_. Wavering & quivering with pleasure because of _him._

His slow pace eventually grew into a fast paced rhythm due to Gavin’s demand. His hand stayed laced in Gavin’s hair, pressing his head harder into the pillows once more. The sound of Gavin’s struggled breathing & raspy whimpers had his composure slipping further & further with every thrust of his cock.

As their pace sped up, Richard leaned over Gavin, planting open mouthed kisses all along the detective’s neck before sinking his teeth into where he had already left a particularly bold hickey which pulled a surprised yelp from the man below, causing Richard to smirk against his flesh.

But even with those sharp teeth assaulting his neck, he also soothed by kissing over the bite marks & bruising.

“F-fuck... oh fuck, R-Richard.” Gavin’s words tripped over one another through his gasped breath & by the way he sounded, it was clear that he was enjoying the evening far more than he had originally thought he would. _Good._

The sound of Gavin coming apart beneath him only excited the gangster further as he ran one of his hands along Gavin’s happy trail, intentionally neglecting his weeping cock & instead trailing his hand up along Gavin’s chest beneath his shirt to pinch at one of the detective’s nipples, smirking slightly upon feeling the small bar that sat there. Of fucking course Gavin had his nipples pierced, he should have guessed as much.

Gavin’s breath seemed to get caught in his throat upon the surprised touch which led Richard onto his next move.

His other hand that was holding Gavin’s hip steady, slipped around & slowly slid towards the detective’s neck. His hand curled around to grip at his throat so he could tilt Gavin’s head up enough to capture his lips in a heated kiss, swallowing down Gavin’s moans that he seemed unable to stop as Richard rocked his hips relentlessly. 

Gavin was first to break the kiss just enough so he could bite down on Richard’s lower lip with enough force to have a soft warm liquid seep down his chin. Richard moaned softly at the harshness of Gavin’s teeth before shooting the detective an icy glare with feigned annoyance.

“Such a feisty little plaything.” He sighed over dramatically before shifting back to his original position, his arm that was firmly across Gavin’s chest effortlessly yanking the detective upright on his knees so Gavin’s back was flush with Richard’s chest.

Drool trickled down Gavin’s chin & mixed with the blood that was smeared across his mouth & he poked his tongue out to swipe across his lower lip, licking up Richard’s blood from his mouth with a coy smirk. 

As soon as the rusted taste hit his tongue, it felt as though his brain was on fire with information regarding the chemical composition of blood. His brain broke it down into its core components, reciting the chemical equations behind his eyes.

Putting it down to his overactive imagination that decided to start rooting up old knowledge he had on blood cells, he shoved down the thoughts & instead focused on his distraction of the evening. He focused on the way Richard’s cock felt slamming into that sweet spot deep within him that had a tightness coiling around his abdomen.

“F-fuck! Fuck... P-please,” Gavin’s words became more of a beg as he fought against the chronic pain coursing through his hip & the way his brain was working a mile a minute, focusing on the building pressure that was only growing as Richard pounded into him.

Unable to resist any longer, Gavin took himself in his hand, pumping himself in time to match with Richard’s rough thrusts. Richard’s hand that that wasn’t supporting him found its way into his hair & yanked harshly, causing a cry of pain to escape Gavin’s lips.

“F-fucking bastard!” Gavin yelped to which Richard simply nodded in agreement before angling his hips to slam into Gavin’s prostate head on. The moment that white-hot burst of ecstasy flashed through every fibre of his being, he bucked his hips forward, spilling all over his own hand with a cracked, broken sob. 

As he pumped himself through his orgasm, it didn’t take long before Richard was chasing after his own, slamming mercilessly into the spent detective until he spilled inside of him. Gavin’s name roughly tumbled from Richard’s lips & fuck was it the most attractive thing Gavin had ever had the pleasure of hearing.

After a few more lazy thrusts, Richard stilled completely, his hand letting go of Gavin’s hair as he rested his chin on Gavin’s shoulder as they both slowly came down from their high, panting softly to regain their breath.

Richard’s hand slowly slid along Gavin’s arm & to his wrist, gripping it gently so he could pull Gavin’s hand towards his mouth, taking his sweet time in slowly lapping up Gavin’s cum from his fingers, sucking on each finger individually to clean it all off.

“H-Holy fucking sh-shit… that’s so f-fucking hot…” Gavin smirked lazily as he tried to keep his focus on the way Richard was shamelessly licking away the mess he had created, only to lose his ability to hold his own weight as Richard let go of his hand & slowly pulled out of the detective. 

Gavin collapsed forward onto his bed with a quiet groan before shifting so he was lying on his side, eyeing Richard as the gangster threw the condom in a nearby bin & made work of tugging his boxers & dress pants back on.

Richard was a fucking mess & oh fuck was he a sight for sore eyes. His curly hair had completely fallen out of place & Gavin swore that the urge to get up & to run his hands through it was going to eat away at him. 

The way sweat glistened along Richard’s chest & his hands were ever so slightly shaky as he buckled up his belt made it so Gavin couldn’t help but stare.

Bad never looked so fucking good. 

He thoroughly believed those words with far too much sincerity for a cop.

Various scars littered Richard’s body that were somewhat similar to the one along his eye; the types of scars where, if you knew how to tell the difference, could be seen that they were stitched up at home rather than in a hospital. 

More red flags.

It had Gavin wondering what the hell type of life this man had led up until this point to end up with such vicious reminders of his past. But, then again, the same could be said for Gavin so he couldn’t be one to judge.

“Leaving so soon, Wolf?” Gavin finally found his words, eyes dropping to where Richard was about to put on his pristine Brogue shoes & he hoped that the disappointment wasn’t too obvious in his tone.

“Is that an invitation to stick around, Red?” Richard retorted with a small smirk tugging at the left side of his face upon Gavin’s clear disapproval of the nickname.

“I already told you, the wolf eats Little Red Riding Hood-”

“Oh, I heard you.” Gavin could have sworn he saw a glint of both amusement & danger in Richard’s eyes as the man said that, but just as quickly as it had flashed there, it was gone. “Allow me to collect your discarded blazer from my car & I shall be back.” 

With that, Richard was out of the apartment & Gavin couldn’t help but wonder if Richard always spoke as though he read a dictionary as a bedtime story.

With no 6ft 2, drop dead gorgeous distraction in his bed, it gave Gavin a moment of clarity to properly ruminate over his actions of the evening.

Once his boxers were back on, hands washed & teeth were brushed, Gavin tugged off his sweat dampened shirt with a quiet sigh. He turned with his back to the large bathroom mirror, glancing over his shoulder to study the way in which his spine had a soft blue glow to it even through his skin under the dim lighting. Yeah, good job he kept his shirt on. 

Even though the nanites that made up his fabricated flesh on his arm & leg helped to blend his prosthetic limbs perfectly to, well, his actual body, with the complexity of a metal spine & how close it was to his skin, there was nothing that could be done for the subtle hue it gave off. Thankfully, his clothing masked it quite easily.

“Fucking science experiment.” Gavin muttered to himself in disgust as he thought about the fact he was an amalgamation of machine parts & the bits of him that were not machinery were littered with reminders of just how broken he really was.

After tugging on his old, faded grey DPD sweater from his academy days, Gavin made his way back to his bedroom & flopped back on his bed with a wince. His hands came up to rub over his face as he groaned out a very apt, _“Fuck.”_

There were more reasons than he could count on one hand as to why every single thing that had happened since he left the gala was a terrible fucking idea. He had no clue how the fuck he was going to explain any of this to Tina without incriminating himself when she inevitably demanded details on his evening.

As if on cue & realising he needed a distraction from his steadily spiraling thoughts, Richard let himself back into Gavin’s apartment. He made his way to Gavin’s bedroom with the man’s blazer neatly folded over his arm. The only difference now was that Richard’s shirt was back on & his hair was neatened out.

He hung Gavin’s blazer over the handle of his wardrobe before making his way back over to the detective, a smirk on his lips as those silver eyes studied every little detail of his new interest.

“So, am I allowed to ask what a detective for the Detroit Police Department was doing at a biomedical technology convention?” Richard asked as he slipped out of his shoes & once more, lay beside Gavin, mindlessly tracing the lettering on Gavin’s sweater, fabricating a sense of comfort & home that he knew Gavin would so easily give into.

“Am I allowed to ask what a criminal was doing there?” Gavin bit back far too defensively upon realising this conversation could lead to him having to lie about who he really was yet again. With a soft sigh, he settled on, “my best friend has a crush on someone who works for Cyberlife. We figured we’d dress smart, blend in & she could get a date out of it. Sorry to disappoint ya.”

Richard didn’t believe Gavin’s answer for a second but for now, he had to pretend that he did. After all, he was very good at pretending. So, he nodded in acknowledgement before answering for himself. “I’ll have you know that I co-own a medical engineering company known as A9 Genetics. So, unlike yourself, I was actually invited to said convention rather than sneaking in to get laid. Who’s the criminal now?”

He promptly missed out the part where he knew Gavin was going to be there. 

He also missed out the part where he was there in the hopes of getting his hands on either Kamski himself or someone else who seemed close enough to Cyberlife’s inner circle to know what secrets they had going on behind closed doors.

If he had gotten his hands on such targets, he could have stolen the intel & returned to Amanda like the well behaved lap dog he had been raised to be.

Gavin snorted out a soft laugh at that remark. If only he could say he was in fact the brother of the fucking founder of Cyberlife so it didn’t look as though he had necessarily snuck into the gala; but he was a little hung up on the fact that Richard said he owned a company.

“Shit, sorry, I-”

“No, no, I quite like how unapologetically arrogant you are, Gavin. Do not stop on my account.” That lopsided smirk returned as the pair went quiet, Gavin biting his tongue to stop himself from complimenting the fucker beside him on how stupidly gorgeous he was as a subject change. The man already knew it & didn’t need Gavin bowing down to him as well.

The comfortable silence was soon broken however as Gavin piped up quite suddenly. 

“Did you see that person’s eyes?”

Richard was lying on his side & shifted a little so he could prop his head on his hand rather than lying his head flat on the pillows. He fixed Gavin a puzzled look. “Hm?”

“You said that person, the one that I shot, you said they were eyeing me at the gala. Did you see their eyes?” Gavin explained, it being clear that his question had thrown Richard off slightly, but nevertheless, the gangster went with it.

“I can’t say that I did. May I ask why? If they were pretty, would you have felt guilty?” Richard leaned in to nip at Gavin’s ear as one of his hands ran beneath Gavin’s sweater so he could trail his fingers along the long scar that ran vertically down Gavin’s sternum.

“No, Dipshit.” Gavin scoffed. “I was just thinking that maybe if they had... no, y’know what? Never mind.” He may be lonely & itching to talk to someone about all of the theories that were running through his head, but he wasn’t _that_ stupid.

He knew better than to divulge such knowledge, especially to a man that was so clearly dangerous. 

Well, that definitely had Richard’s attention piqued. He pushed Gavin’s sweater up so he could lean in to kiss along the scar that his fingers were previously tracing before he spoke up in a soft voice. “Someone break Little Red Riding Hood’s heart?”

“Something like that.” Gavin huffed out but didn’t further his explanation. Let the fucker believe that he was talking about some past psychopathic lover or some shit instead. That seemed safer than telling him about what was really going on in his head.

“Oh?” Richard feigned an interest in Gavin’s response, hoping to coax more out of the detective by acting as though he gave a damn, trying to get the man to lower his defensive walls. 

He continued to pepper little kisses all along Gavin’s scarred torso & smirked as he felt the man’s hands tangle into his hair, Gavin’s head falling back against the pillows as a pleased sigh escaped his lips.

Richard had caught wind of a detective beginning to close in on the Cyberlife killings & there had been talk of said detective getting closer to finding out who was behind them, no matter how well he seemed to cover his tracks.

So, Richard, along with his two brothers set out to find the detective who was on his case so they could find a way to… dispose of the problem. Each Wolf brother tailed a detective that was close to the case. Connor watched Tina Chen, Sixty had Chris Miller in his sights & Richard, of course, had been watching Gavin Reed. 

Living up to his pseudonym, Wolf tracked his prey from the shadows, patiently eyeing it for its signs of weakness.

For a few weeks, he had been watching Gavin’s every move; tracking his work & sleep schedule, learning what days Gavin used the precinct’s inbuilt gym quarter so he didn’t have to use a public gym. He even knew what days Gavin disappeared off somewhere with Tina Chen for the night & would return on the Monday morning extra early so they wouldn’t be late for work. Where they went, he couldn’t be too sure as that was where Connor would take over. Wherever it was, it must not have been important otherwise Connor would have brought it up.

Other than that, Richard had learnt the man’s every habit. He had quickly caught onto the fact that Gavin hardly slept, often going on jogs around his apartment block around 3-4 A.M if his night was particularly bad. The detective was also anxious & spent far too many waking hours huddled in the precinct, working away at anything he could get his hands on. 

Within the first few days of tailing the detective, Richard began to notice things that didn’t quite add up. There was something about Gavin that he couldn’t quite put his finger on; the man having an eccentric energy that had a dampener placed over it for some unknown reason. An energy that just seemed so damn familiar.

A few days turned into a week, the weird sense of familiarity gnawing away at Richard’s insides but he could never get close enough to the detective to figure out _why._

However, Richard was smart. 

After what seemed like an eternity of watching from the sidelines, he finally had his chance to get up close & personal with the detectives that he & his brothers had only so far been keeping a watchful eye of. His golden opportunity came in the form of the Biomedical Technology Convention that he learnt both Gavin Reed & Tina Chen would be attending.

Although, he had grown bored with their hunter-stalking-its-prey games. Richard simply wanted to get as close to Gavin as he could. He wanted to really figure out _who_ this man was & perhaps he also wanted to play a game of his own.

That moment he locked eyes with the detective from across the room at the gala, realisation came crashing into him like a freight train. 

Although he had taken the lives of far too many people to remember every single one of their faces & names, he did however, remember the unmistakably gorgeous, forest green eyes of the one that got away. Those eyes belonged to Gavin _Kamski._

He distinctly remembered the way in which he stepped up to the man all those months ago. How he was crying out in agony from where he had landed on the asphalt on his back, the only thing breaking his fall was his arms that were zip-tied behind his back after Richard had ordered his brother to shove Gavin off of that ledge.

Whether Gavin had spoken up & gave them answers or not, he was always going to end up being dropped off of that car park. That had always been Richard’s intention as he did not care for somebody who worked for the enemy.

He knew that there would be no way someone would survive such a fall with such extensive injuries, Richard remembered tucking his pistol into the back of his trousers & crouching down, soothingly running a finger ever so gently along the bloodied cheekbone of the terrified man below him in an almost silent apology. He remembered the way Gavin was trying so desperately to focus on his face, to make out who it was who had cut his life so short & quite honestly, Richard had felt almost felt bad for him.

It wasn’t Gavin’s fault he was a Kamski, he was simply collateral damage. Collateral damage that should not have been able to survive through the night & yet somehow, he did. 

And now, thanks to his tailing, Richard had Gavin right where he wanted him & knew the man’s weakness.

 _He was lonely._

Gavin was quick to get shy & flustered upon Richard’s gaze at the gala. He likely thought that Richard’s gaze was of a sexual desire, which wasn't completely untrue. 

Something about the danger of the unknown had a thrill running through Richard’s body. But, most of his staring came from the fact he simply couldn’t pry his eyes away from the ghost that was haunting him - threatening to derail Richard’s whole operation simply because the gangster had put his gun away that night. 

He fell for Richard’s charms as expected thanks to his sheep’s clothing & it made his plans for revenge all the more simple. All because Gavin was lonely, he was so easy to manipulate & wouldn’t see what was coming until it was too late.

With that thought in mind, Richard ever so slowly pulled away from where he was kissing along Gavin’s toned stomach & flashed the detective a falsified smile before standing himself up. He reached into his pocket & pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “Mind if I smoke?”

“Huh?” Gavin mumbled before fluttering his eyes back open, them staying half lidded as he cast his gaze upon the cigarette packet in Richard’s hand. “Oh. Yeah, go for it. Balcony is just behind that curtain.” He gestured to the far wall where there was a long, blackout curtain that hung from the roof of the room & just barely scraped the floor, effectively blocking out any view of the glass door that led to the small balcony. 

Even though Gavin lived on the first floor, the apartment was still relatively high from the ground, something that Richard took notice of as he made his way out to the balcony & sparked up his cigarette. 

Gavin was afraid of heights. _No wonder,_ Richard thought as he held his cigarette between his lips. He drew out his pistol from where he had hidden it beneath his shirt; having collected it, a spare clip & a silencer that he kept in the glove compartment of his car when he excused himself earlier to go & collect Gavin’s blazer for him. 

_Such an easy man to fool._

Richard took his time screwing the silencer onto his pistol as he took a deep drag from his cigarette without holding it with his otherwise occupied fingers. He held the smoke in his lungs until it burnt & only when it felt like it was going to choke him, did he slowly exhale. 

Every movement of his fingers were precise. Practiced. 

He lingered on the balcony for a long while, even after he nursed his cigarette down to the filter; simply admiring the soft glow of the city that lay beyond the small patch of trees that sat in view of the balcony. 

“Richard? Everything okay?” Gavin’s voice called out from inside the safe confines of his apartment, cutting through Richard’s wandering thoughts. Oh, right, he had been standing there for quite some time.

Thankfully, Gavin made no attempt at stepping foot on the balcony. From a glance over his shoulder & through the doorway, Richard could see that Gavin was still on his bed but was now sitting up, nervously nibbling on his lip as he gazed to the glass doorway.

“Everything is fine, darling.” Richard retorted in a calm, collected tone & he didn’t miss the way in which a shy smile crossed Gavin’s lips at the pet-name. 

Ever so slowly as to not make a sound, Richard flicked the safety off of his gun, turning around at the same time as he concealed the pistol behind his back before making his way back into Gavin’s apartment with that dangerous spark flashing through his eyes.

Gavin was like a moth to the flame & Richard was a goddamn forest fire. 


	3. A Slice Of Morality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin wants nothing more to get his life back on track but is a rabbit ever safe once a Wolf has it in its sights?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do want to try & stick to a semi decent upload schedule, taking no longer than two weeks to upload. This chapter would have been out sooner but the holiday season is always so hectic so my apologies for that.
> 
> Happy reading!

“Shit, shit, shit.” Expletives reeled from Gavin’s mouth as he stood himself up, the only thing interrupting his swearing was the hiss of pain that escaped his lips upon his sudden movement. 

Gavin made his way over towards his discarded pants from earlier on in the evening, trying his best to hide his slight limp in the process. At least he could play it off as though it were his hip that was acting up rather than the fact it was Richard’s fault that he’d likely be limping for days to come.

After trying to stifle another hiss of pain at having to bend down to pick up his trousers - body all but screaming at him for putting it through too much for one evening - he straightened back out, hand disappearing into the pocket so he could pull out his phone, throwing the trousers into the clothes hamper at the side of his room. 

Richard’s curiosity piqued & he found himself leaning one shoulder against the glass doorway, his hand holding his pistol tightly behind his back, finger ghosting over the trigger in anticipation. He tilted his head slightly as he studied the detective’s erratic movements. 

Whenever Richard was ordered to ‘dispose of a problem’ or decided that somebody was in his way, never did he falter. He infiltrated their private quarters through whatever means necessary & got the job done. Quickly, efficiently, silently.

Yet, here he was; hesitating & prolonging the inevitable as he watched his prey. Something deep down within him was threatening to claw its way out & wrap itself around his heart, stunting actions that by this point, should have been second nature to him. 

So why was he watching as Gavin paced around his bedroom in his boxers & sweater? Watching as the detective held his phone to his ear & nibbled at his lower lip in between muttering, “pick up. C’mon, pick up.”

Who was he so desperate to speak with?

Oblivious to Richard’s plans, Gavin let out a soft sigh of relief when the other end of the phone picked up. He stopped his nervous pacing in its tracks & his shoulders visibly relaxed as his free hand came up to run through his disheveled hair.

As soon as the line was open, Gavin began his ramble. “Emma? Fuck, I’m so sorry. I know I said I’d help you with your work. I swear I-” He cut himself off however & it was clear that he was trying to listen to the voice on the other end of the line.

He mouthed more expletives to himself as he held his phone to his ear. 

Richard had no clue who the hell Emma was & quite frankly, he didn’t care. By the sounds of it, she could have been a work colleague if he had to assume. Perfect. He’s distracted, Richard thought to himself as he pushed himself up to his full height from where he was leaning against the doorframe.

He made his way slowly over to stand behind the otherwise occupied detective, an almost bored look across his features as he raised his pistol to aim at the back of the Gavin’s head.

Sure, he had become mildly infatuated with the lonely detective; every single one of Gavin’s awkward movements & his brash personality causing Richard to only grow curiouser & curiouser. But a job was a job & killing the detective meant he could keep his own ass out of the fire for a while longer. 

Right as his finger wrapped around the trigger, Gavin turned to face him, lips pursed - looking as though he were about to ask a question but that look instantly vanished from his face & a look of fear flashed through his eyes as he stared down the barrel of the gun, taking an ever so slow step back. 

Richard gave him a mild look of feigned sympathy at what he was about to do & he was about 0.2 seconds away from applying just the right amount of pressure on the trigger but something had his actions freezing up as Gavin spoke.

“Em? I know I made a promise but daddy’s got a work thing that’s just come up-” His voice cracked & despite trying his best to hide it, the shakiness in it was evident nonetheless. As he spoke, he glared right into those ice cold eyes that he knew he shouldn’t have trusted. “-I know, I know we don’t break pinky promises but duty calls, babygirl. I-I love you, okay?”

With that, he ever so slowly lowered his phone as hung up the call, his brows furrowing together as he held Richard’s gaze. 

“Why?” He asked bluntly.

The question almost seemed to throw Richard off guard & he tilted his head just the smallest amount in a curious manner. It was a very feline-like motion & maybe that’s why Gavin had a soft spot for the man so quickly. 

Richard had never given his victims the chance to ask why & if they lived long enough to speak, usually they just begged for their life. But once again, Gavin was proving to simply be _different._ He wasn’t begging for his life. He just wanted to know why.

After a beat of silence, Richard simply replied with, “it’s just business.”

It was ’just business’? Yeah, fuck this guy. 

Gavin rolled his eyes in response to the pathetic excuse of an answer & before he pushed his luck with how long he could stare into those pretty, emotionless eyes, he decided that this time… This time he was going to act first. 

In one swift motion, he threw his phone towards Richard’s head to cause the man to instinctively duck out of the way & Gavin quickly dodged to the side just incase he decided to pull the trigger. He then tackled the taller man’s side, pinning him to the space on the ground between the balcony doorway & the bed. 

He made quick work of straddling Richard’s middle, all the while attempting to keep his face as unphased as possible despite the sharp pain coursing through the wiring in his spine.

One of Gavin’s hands gripped Richard’s wrist that was holding the gun, pinning it to the floor as he glared down at the man below. “Hitman?”

“Something like that.”

“Thought your arrogant ass worked for A9 Genetics. This a side gig?” Gavin snarled & for once he was grateful for his bionic left arm because he could feel the way in which Richard was trying to wriggle his wrist free but Gavin’s iron tight grip was stronger. 

“Something like that.” Richard repeated, his face as infuriatingly impassive as ever.

It took absolutely everything within Gavin to not punch the dickhead right in his stupidly perfect face; not that he didn’t deserve it. But, Gavin had gone through therapy session after therapy session, add in a few follow-up anger management sessions into the mix & it all taught him how to use his words before his knuckles.

“Who was the other guy?!” Gavin spat, his grip tightening on Richard’s wrist enough to have the man wincing below him but Gavin caught onto the way he tried so hard to keep his face impassive.

When Richard decided to play dumb & ask ‘who’, Gavin was really beginning to regret not punching him. “The guy! In the fucking car! You said they were watching me & then they tailed us! Now you’re trying to kill me too? Is there a fucking target on my back?!” 

Gavin’s voice was rough with a mixture of anger & fear. He had no clue who the fuck Richard was or how much he knew about Gavin’s ‘procedures’. All Gavin was aware of was that he was in danger & he needed to know what the fuck was going on. Fast. 

“Oh… _that guy._ ” The smallest of smirks seemed to tug at the left side of Richard’s face but when it faded, his expression was unreadable. “They were never interested in you, Detective.”

Well, that wasn’t quite the answer he expected. With a perplexed look crossing his face, Gavin sat back ever so slightly but kept his grip on Richard’s wrist firm. 

“What?”

“I said, they were never intere-” 

“I know what you phckin’ said, Dipshit! Elaborate. Now.” He tightened his grip even more so, his nails digging in hard enough to break the skin on Richard’s wrist but Gavin didn’t care. He’d keep applying more & more pressure until the bone fucking broke if he had to. 

He wanted answers. 

Gavin glanced to his own hand, swallowing thickly as he tried his best to not show the look of horror that was trying to creep along his face. He saw the way the nanites that made up his fabricated flesh were receding back to reveal the white & blue chassis beneath. 

Why were they doing that? Why couldn’t he control it?

To be sure Richard didn’t see, he used his other hand to grip the gangster’s jaw & forced the man to look in his direction. “Answer me, Wolf.”

“If you insist.” Richard’s icy eyes had a sparkle of enjoyment in them & Gavin knew for a fact that the man was getting off on the danger. “They were after me. I had you believe that they were after you as I knew your paranoid self wouldn’t hesitate to believe such a thing. I needed you to believe that I was helping you escape from imminent danger & a lonely man such as yourself? You almost make it too easy to be manipulated.” As he said that last line, his free hand reached up to run along that deep scar buried in his scruff. 

“I needed you to allow me into your life, Gavin. Although, I was expecting it to be a little more difficult than this.”

Ouch. 

Fuck if he was going to admit it but those words fucking hurt. A lot. It felt like a stab right to his gut knowing that the man had no interest in him in the slightest & had only slept with him to further his manipulations, making it easier for Richard to kill him.

But his touch was warm, soft & welcoming. Even as the man spewed such venom laced cruelty from his mouth, his touch was so gentle & Gavin found himself leaning into the hand that was on his face. How pathetic.

“I have grown rather infatuated by you, Detective. You knew the dangers of allowing a man like myself, not only into your home, but into your bed & yet, you did it anyway. You weren’t lying when you said you liked the danger.” 

“Why didn’t you pull the trigger?” Gavin asked, his brows knitting together as his grip ever so slightly loosened on Richard’s wrist as to not cause permanent damage to the man. Sure, he thought about breaking his wrist a few seconds earlier, but now? Now, he was getting his answers, albeit slowly. “Hitmen don’t hesitate. Killers don’t fucking hesitate. I’ve been around enough men like you to know the truly evil ones wouldn’t hesitate to pull the trigger.” 

Gavin’s mind was most definitely beginning to fall apart with all of the data that was running through it. He had shot a potentially innocent person & the man he had slept with wasn’t just some petty criminal that he could let slide under the radar but some sort of probable murderer, using his title at his company as a cover up for whatever the fuck he got up to on the side.

“You have a daughter?” Richard responded to Gavin’s question with his own question which had Gavin realising why it pissed Chloe off so much because fuck, was it annoying. 

“In the words of my therapist: responding to a question with another question isn’t giving me an answer that I can work with.” Gavin leaned in close, feigning a look of adoration as he studied Richard’s features which earned him a small grin. 

Yeah, this guy thinks he’s the only one who can manipulate? Maybe he underestimated Gavin more than he realised.

Then, leaning in close enough so that his lips brushed against Richard’s ear, Gavin whispered, “Do what you want to me, Wolf, but if you ever lay a hand on her? I will use the cigar cutter that you most undoubtedly have & I will cut your fingers off one by one & feed them to my fucking cat. Do we have an understanding?”

The detective pulled back just enough to lock eyes with the man that was below him, forests of green meeting with tidal waves of menacing grey. 

“We have an understanding, I have no interest in harming a child. That includes turning them into an orphan.” He nodded to affirm his statement. “But, Detective? My patience only runs so far & you would be wise to not threaten me again. I can stomach the consequences of following through with such threats. Can you?” Even with Gavin’s hand on his jaw, he did that curious fucking head tilt.

Richard’s question hung heavy in the air as Gavin thought of the implications surrounding it. The man clearly had no qualms with threatening, killing & whatever the fuck else he got up to. A part of Gavin knew that Richard had him backed up against a wall, unable to follow his morals as a cop & arrest the bastard.

Despite all of Gavin’s loyalties to the badge, his loyalties to his daughter were far stronger - it may not have been spoken outright but Richard had just made it abundantly clear that Gavin needed to keep his mouth shut. Keep it shut regarding all that the bastard had implied he got up to outside of running A9 Genetics if he wanted to stay on the ‘patient side’ of the gangster. 

Emma had already lost one of her parents, she didn’t need to grow up in a world without the other. 

Not to mention, if Gavin did come clean with any of this mess he found himself wrapped up in, he would only incriminate himself in the process.

With a familiar nervousness settling in his stomach & a thousand & one questions running through his head, Gavin decided to settle on making a stupid remark that only _he_ could come up with after being held at gunpoint.

“Y’know, most people just fall asleep after sex. Why’d you have to go & get all dramatic?” Gavin asked as he pulled back, glancing to his hand to be sure his nanites had re-covered his prosthetic. He then let go of Richard’s wrist completely but not before prying the pistol from his hand.

Gavin carefully shifted so he wasn’t pinning the gangster down anymore & instead took up sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the side of his bed as he flicked the safety back on the gun. He kept it tightly in his hand, silently praying to whoever the fuck sat in the sky & was laughing at his pathetic excuse of a life that he wouldn’t have to use it.

“Says the one who threatened to feed my severed fingers to his cat.” Richard slowly sat himself up so he could sit beside Gavin so their shoulders were touching. 

“Yeah well you held me at gunpoint!”

“But, I didn’t pull the trigger.”

“Valid.” Gavin laughed bitterly to himself.

He had come to the conclusion that the human soul was a treacherous place. Filled with rivers of guilt & forests of forgiveness that, if placed in the wrong hands would be cut down & polluted with no remorse. 

Yet, Gavin found himself sitting shoulder to shoulder with a criminal who, had not only manipulated him into shooting a person in a car chase, but had slept with him just to make it easier to get closer to him so he could attempt to kill him. Richard only choosing to spare him because Gavin just so happened to phone Emma & apologise for forgetting about plans they had. 

And somehow, he was the first person Gavin felt as though he could trust.

The room fell into a comfortable silence as the pair sat side by side in their ceasefire, admiring the setting sun that could just be seen from the open glass doorway. It cast deep red & orange hues into the bedroom, bathing the men in beautiful shades that from an outsider’s perspective, made everything seem almost perfect. 

But, both Gavin & Richard knew that this slice of calm would not last. That whatever they had going on wouldn’t last - it couldn’t. Not when they were on opposite sides of a war that neither would be openly honest about.

“Sometimes, when the world creates something so naturally pretty like that-” Gavin gestured to the open doorway, indicating the napalm skies that were painting them with such beauty. “-I forget how cruel it can be.”

Instinctively, his hand that wasn’t gripping the gun came up to mindlessly rub at the long scar that traveled across the bridge of his nose & down along his cheek. 

Richard watched the action with a strange, indescribable feeling in his gut. Gavin, without knowing it, was indirectly speaking of _Nines_ & what he did to him. All the while that _very_ person that Gavin despised with every fibre of his being, was sat beside him under an alias simply so Gavin would grow to trust him.

“Gavin, I-” Richard began, but as if sensing he was about to say something that he was very much going to regret, his phone buzzed in his pocket. 

The gangster stood himself up as he pulled his phone out of his pocket to answer it, his voice quiet but the irritation in it was unmissable & quite frankly, scared the shit out of Gavin as he listened in on what Richard was saying.  
  
“I thought I told you to not disturb me for the evening unless the company building is literally burning down to the ground. Is it burning down, Brittney? No? Then answer me this, my dear, why have you interrupted my evening with the detective?” 

Well, Gavin couldn’t say that he wasn’t flattered that the man had asked not to be disturbed while he was with him. 

“Why didn’t you just start with that? I’ll be there right away.” Without so much as a goodbye, Richard ended the call & made quick work of getting his shoes back on. 

“A9 Genetics rioting without you?” Gavin snickered quietly, attempting to hide his disappointment at the thought of the man having to leave. Even if Richard was a bad fucking decision; but, Gavin was known for making those. Lots of them at that.

He stood himself up, gun still in hand as he added, “or is the criminal underworld crippling without their favourite Wolf?”

“Something like that.” Richard repeated his infuriating line from earlier before adding, “I’ll see you around, Detective.” He leaned in to plant a soft kiss to Gavin’s right temple which had a strange spark running beneath his skin similar to that of a static shock. Richard must have felt it too as he pulled back rather abruptly as if in surprise. 

Neither spoke of the weird sensation though & the gangster made his way out of the apartment without so much as another word, leaving Gavin standing idly in the middle of his bedroom, gun in hand. His smashed phone was on the floor & Gavin had a hell of a lot of regret & second guesses swimming through his head.

As Gavin’s mind helped him to construct the best possible route for the quickest & most efficient course, the detective ran through the dilapidated housing. He shot the first two enemies in sight before vaulting through the open window with a roll to better his landing, shooting the criminal to his left & then the one that was in the watchtower behind him.

His body was moving quicker than his brain was able to register so it was easy to ignore the pain in his spine & hip. 

Spinning on his heels, Gavin darted through the alleyway & into the next house. He shot the first two men that were in the living-room & then the one that was in the kitchen - he first shot the hand that was holding a gun to the hostage & then shot the criminal in the head. Admiring for a moment the way in which the hologram dissolved into lines of code after being disrupted by the bullet.

Then, Gavin swiftly backtracked so he was out in front of the housing again with a smug grin on his face. The sound of boots crunching on the ground behind him had the look being wiped from his face however & before he had the chance to react, one arm was around his neck to get him into a choke-hold, the cool metal barrel of a gun being pressed into his lower back with the other. 

With a belligerent sigh, Gavin held up both of his hands in surrender, his pistol twisting around his finger in the process. 

“Fuck!” He muttered through grit teeth, swallowing against the arm that was held firmly around his neck. 

“Well, well, well, what’s rule number one, Detective?” The assertive voice said from behind him & he had to stifle the need to roll his eyes in annoyance. 

“Never walk out into the open until all corners are cleared.” As soon as the arm around him loosened, Gavin yanked himself free of the man’s grip so he could turn around to face Captain Allen. “I cleared every enemy in 9 minutes, Cap. You’re just jealous because-”

He cut his own sentence off to gesture to the holographic scoreboard that was projected against the nearest wall to the house where it read the quickest times of the top 3 officers:  
  
 **_GREED: 09:03:00_ **

**_CPTNALLEN: 11:20:04_ **

**_TCHEN: 11:30:42_ **

With that smug look swiftly returning to his face, Gavin holstered his gun & fist bumped the Captain. Allen then spoke up with pride, “We’ll make a SWAT officer of you yet, Reed. But, congrats, you have officially passed your retrain. How the hell did you beat my time so quick?”

“I just got skill, Cap. I believe Chris now owes me 50 bucks for beating your sc-” Before he had the chance to finish, two arms flung around his neck & the body of no other than Tina Chen crashed into his side, almost knocking him off balance. 

“Our boy is back!” She cheered excitedly as she ruffled up Gavin’s hair. 

Captain Allen smirked at the sight & nodded in agreement. “Indeed he is. Now, get the fuck out of here before I kick both of your asses. How anybody deals with you two when you’re together for any longer than an hour is beyond me. Reed, come back to me if you think any more on my offer.” 

Gavin threw the Captain a knowing look & respectful nod before he wrapped his arm around Tina’s shoulders. They both headed out towards his car so they could drive back to the station together.

After a long, comfortable silence that Gavin was surprised they had, Tina piped up with the inevitable. “So, if you’re not going to tell me, I guess you’re going to make me ask?” She started, hoping to prompt Gavin into speaking. She elongated the ‘o’ sound in ‘so’ to make it sound that little bit more mischievous. 

The detective rolled his eyes & propped his elbow against the window, resting the side of his head on his hand but kept his other hand on the wheel. He glanced to himself in his side mirror & _wow,_ did he look like shit. 

The bags beneath his eyes were far worse than they’d been in a long time which gave away just how much his sleeping pattern had worsened. His facial hair was growing from a borderline appropriate amount of scruff to, well, Hank fucking Anderson.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, T, at this point, your question could be anything.” He muttered in a tired tone. Gavin had put on a lively front while taking his retrain so he didn’t look like a complete fucking disaster, but fuck, was he physically drained.

“What did our favourite SWAT man offer you?!” She said with a cheek grin. 

Tina then took it upon herself to flick through the stations on the radio but instead settled on using her phone’s bluetooth instead to play one of Gavin’s favourite songs to drive to. It was her silent way of hoping it would help her best friend feel better & by the way Gavin’s fingers began to tap the beat on the wheel, she saw he was grateful.

“ _Allen_ was offering me a place on the SWAT team if I passed the physical exam. I told him I’d think about it.” 

“Physical exam.” Tina echoed with a wiggle of her brows & a cheeky smirk on her face. “Bet he wants to get physical with you, Gav, we all know he has the hots for you.”

“I’m giving you one chance to shut the fuck up, Chen. It ain’t like that.” Gavin retorted without any real bite but he could still feel his patience dwindling. “He’s just been helping me train, that’s _all_.”

Tina weighed her odds as to whether Gavin was going to flip his shit at her or not & after a long silence, she murmured, “He’d be good for you, Gav. Are you still hung up on that ‘sex on legs’ from the gala as you so politely put it?”

The truth was, to say he was ‘hung up on’ was a fucking understatement. 

It had been a month. A _month_ since the bastard walked out of his apartment. He even left his gun behind which Gavin had promptly hidden away in one of his drawers beneath a few shirts. 

To begin with, Gavin was grateful that Richard hadn’t bothered to reach out to him. For the first week, he was convinced it was for the best & it gave him a chance to focus on his work. Focus on his sessions with Chloe - who he had seen twice in that first week to talk about his retrain & how the nanites on his arm had retracted when he grabbed Richard’s arm. Chloe didn’t exactly give him any answers but the question did seem to throw her a little off guard.

He even made it up to Emma for missing out on helping her with her homework by taking her out for ice-cream with Tina. But then, as more days passed, Gavin found himself restless. He couldn’t properly focus on his work, he was sleeping less & less as he found himself thinking more & more of the night he had with Richard. The more he thought about the thrill & excitement he felt while in the man’s company, he thought less of the danger that came with it. 

Sure, Gavin could have gone to A9 Genetics, but he didn’t want to be _that guy_ who pines over a man after one quick fuck. But something about Richard was just… well, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he was having withdrawals from whatever it was he had felt while in the company of the Wolf.

“I just can’t get him out of my head, T, that’s all. I’ll get over it eventually, just give me time to be a pissbaby about the best fuck I ever had, alright?” Gavin grumbled, acting more put off with the conversation than he actually was. Sometimes, it was good to talk about things. Hell, maybe Chloe really was teaching him a thing or two. 

“Well, you did come into work the next day with the world’s worst case of hickeys. They were totally borderline assault, Gav, I should have arrested him.”

Before his brain to mouth filter could even function & allow him to think about what he was just about to fucking say, the words fell from his mouth quicker than he could reel them back in, “yeah, I should have too.” 

“Gavin?” Tina paused, brows furrowing as she turned down the music just enough to show she was serious. “That was a joke. He didn’t actually hurt you, right? Because if he did, hand on heart-” she placed her hand over her chest for impact “-I will march my way into that company building of his & drag his ass all the way to the precinct & throw him in a cell. I fucking _knew_ you were acting diff-”

“Tina!” Gavin’s mind wandered back to the moment he turned around to see a silenced pistol being aimed right between his eyes. “He _didn’t_ hurt me.”

“Good.” Tina knew not to push her luck with anymore questions so with that, she fell quiet. Gavin turned up the volume of the music to indicate the conversation was officially over & the pair fell back into their comfortable silence.

Not long after driving back to the precinct, Gavin was surprised at just how quickly Fowler assigned him a case that involved him actually heading out to a crime scene. Granted, it had already been swept by forensics & Chris was already there, but rather than leaving Chris to come back with all of the information, Fowler was allowing Gavin to go out & explore the scene for himself. He supposed Allen must have put in a _very_ good word on his behalf.

An hour later, the detective found himself shutting his car door before he tipped his head to look up at the glowing pink letters that boldly spelled out ‘The Eden Club’. 

The place looked absolutely gorgeous from the outside & it was no wonder that so many people were drawn to it. Gavin definitely wasn’t complaining - his first case back out in the field & he got to go to a stripclub? That was way cooler than investigating some dingy back alley murder. 

He pulled his leather jacket further around himself as he made his way through the large open doorway. The whole club was bathed in neon pink & blue lights, their bright hues dancing over every visible surface.

There were dancers of various genders grinding against & twirling around poles, their skin sparkled with body glitter as they moved beneath the bright lights. Hell, how could anyone murder in a place like this? It was stunning & so _clean._

“The one & only Detective Reed. The man of virtue shows his face in this palace of desire.” An unknown woman’s voice called out his name with flirtatious undertones. 

He looked over in the direction the voice came from & saw a woman with strawberry blonde hair tied in a plait that was resting over her left shoulder. She was leaning against a wall beside a doorway that was covered with the holographic police tape. She was dressed like a boss bitch & Gavin didn’t need to ask to know that she owned this place. 

He wasn’t entirely sure how the hell she knew who he was but he calmed his nerves with the assumption that one of the other officers had made it clear that he would be showing up. She had a look in her eye that implied she knew more than his name as he eyed him up & down.

“Of desire? Didn’t know murder was desirable these days.” Gavin scoffed as he made his way over & politely extended his hand for her to shake to make up for the comment. “I’m safe to assume you own this joint, Ms…?”

“North. Just North.” She shook his hand firmly before folding her arms back over her chest, seemingly bored. “You’re correct. Although, this _joint_ is one of the most prestigious clubs in Detroit. Not only would we greatly appreciate an ounce of respect that we rightly deserve, but we also don’t need… _uniform_ here disrupting the peace.”

Gavin wasn’t 100% sure if she was intentionally trying to rustle his feathers but she sure as shit was going the right way about it. Something about the woman’s powerful demeanor had his mind wandering to Richard & how fucking cocksure that asshole was.

He dragged his mind away from that inevitable spiral, piping up with, “hate to break it to ya, North, but I think a murder is good reason for ‘disruption of peace’. Were you the one to find the body?” Gavin asked as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. 

Although he was far more eager than any one person should be over the thought of getting to get up close & personal with a dead body, he wanted to get all sides of the story first, all pieces of the puzzle as it were. This was his first time back out & for fuck sake, he _had_ to do it right.

“Me?” North questioned sarcastically. “Do I look like the type to go crying to the police over a body of a man who hurt one of my girls? No, I didn’t find the body, security did. They are speaking with another one of your boys in blue.”

Gavin cocked a brow at the first remark but chose to file it away for later if necessary & instead settled with asking, “Can you tell me what happened? Or at least, what do you know?”

“Exactly what I told the other detectives. The man hurt one of my girls; she came crying to me whilst I was speaking with a colleague. We have a policy for only the most respectful behaviour & only consensual physical contact is acceptable. We take care of our own, Detective, I am quite sure you above all can understand.” 

She paused for a moment. “By the time security arrived, the man ends up murdered in one of my private rooms. I don’t quite see the issue though, Reed. Karma’s a bitch.”

Quite honestly, it took everything Gavin had to not agree with her - karma really was a bitch. But, he had a job to do.

“You do realise that makes you sound like a suspect, correct?”

“Honey, if I were to kill a man, I wouldn’t be so sloppy as to leave the body behind where somebody could identify it.” The smallest of smirks toyed at her lips, as if she knew something that Gavin was missing. But, as quickly as it was there, it was gone. 

With a roll of his eyes, the detective stepped through the holographic tape & into the backroom where he was greeted with the heavy rusted stench in the air - blood. Lots of it. Fuck, that wasn’t something he missed.

It took a moment of idling in the doorway & taking in the scene before him before he snapped back into reality. There were little yellow evidence markers scattered across the room & it would almost be like a game of ‘the floor is lava’ to avoid stepping in the blood that was splattered everywhere.

“Well… shit.” Gavin pulled on his disposable gloves as he stepped over a pool of blood & crouched in front of the body so he could better analyse the cause of death.

Dried blood was caked along a large slash wound across the corpse’s neck which safely explained the copious amounts of the stuff. Multiple wounds & bruising were visible along the cheekbones & jawline of the body, making it clear that whoever killed him had beaten him first.

He noted the alcohol residue on the corners of the victims lips which matched the half empty bottles in the room. So the guy liked to drink & hurt their girls? Yeah, fuck angry drunks. Gavin had a bad past with men who’d beat him when they were drunk & he was finding it hard to care or feel remorse for the victim.

After analysing the wounds on the body, the blood & the smashed glass that littered the bed & floor, Gavin slowly stood himself back up. He took a step back as his eyes glanced around the room, trying to piece together how the killer slipped in & out without being noticed by anybody until the body was found.

He blinked a few times as a sharp pain began to creep along his skull, causing him to take off his gloves & rub at his eyes as if that would help to push it away. When his eyes fluttered back open, it was as though his in-depth analysis of the body & the room helped piece a sequence of events together in his mind.

As clear as day, he could picture a wireframe recreation of a 6ft 2 male being led into the room by the wireframe rendition of the victim. The male slowly pushed the victim down onto the bed & climbed on top of him, kissing along his neck before reaching out to grab one of tumbler glasses from the counter beside the bed, fingers tapping against it before it was smashed it over the victim’s head. 

The taller man then, after throwing a few punches & getting into a rather intense fight with the vic - which led to him being pinned down on his front as the burlier man made work of getting his pants unbuckled - grabbed one of the shards of glass tightly in his hand & managed to flip himself over so he could slit the man’s throat.

_Holy fucking shit._

Then, it appeared as though the man disappeared into the inbuilt bathroom that was attached to the room where he cleaned up & changed his clothes, that being apparent by the way the wireframe man seemed to create the action of pulling a coat around himself before disappearing out of the room.

The imagery soon dissipated into nothing & the sharp pain in Gavin’s head amplified to a point where it had him hunching forward, clutching at his hair as he groaned out in pain. 

_“F-fuck!”_

“Gavin?” The warm hand of Chris Miller found itself onto Gavin’s shoulder & the pain in Gavin’s head made it difficult for him to figure out who the hell it was who was talking.

He vaguely made out Chris’ voice, albeit muffled, calling to someone else for assistance & before he knew it, he was being swiftly led into the small bathroom.

“Gav..” A more rough voice called out his name & the pain slowly began to dwindle back into the constant static he was more accustomed to. He raised his head from where he had been staring at the floor & he was greeted by Hank. The older man’s face morphing into one representing heavy worry as he whispered, “your nose, Kid-”

Gavin reached a hand up to touch at his nose, only just noticing that it was bleeding. He pulled his fingers back to them dipped in a deep, red-violet. His eyes widened as he stared in shock at his fingers, trying to hide the nerves in his voice as he whimpered, “Hank?”

“I know, Kid, I know.” He replied with quickly before grabbing a few tissues & stepping up to hold them against Gavin’s nose, his other hand coming up to the back of Gavin’s head to gently tilt the younger detective’s head back in the hopes of it slowing the bleeding.

Hank could tell by the way Gavin’s chest was rapidly rising & falling that he was on the edge of a panic attack at the sight of his discolored blood. Hank knew that this would come up eventually, he was just hoping that he’d have longer before he had to explain Gavin that Elijah had to do more than fuse a few prosthetic limbs to him to keep him alive.

“H-Hank? What’s happening to me?” Gavin whispered, his barely audible words wrapped thickly with emotion.

“Shh, shh, breathe with me, okay?” Hank’s voice was soft & his breathing was calm to help Gavin to relax as much as he could given the situation. “I’ll tell you everything as soon as we’re in private. But, you need to calm down, Kid.”

Gavin was more machine than he had originally been told, Elijah & Chloe deeming it to too much to tell Gavin everything that had been done to him all in one go. Hank knew it was wrong, he knew they were only delaying the inevitable by keeping things quiet, but as Gavin was beginning to get back onto his feet, Hank didn’t have the heart to rip it all away again.

Hank pocketed the tissues he was holding so they could be disposed of discreetly. He got a few more & held them to Gavin’s nose as he cautiously led the younger detective out of the crime scene & towards the exit where they could speak more privately once Gavin’s breathing had calmed down enough.

“Leaving so soon, Red?” North called from behind them as she paused the conversation she was having with one of the blue haired dancers. Gavin’s whole body stiffened as he froze in place, replaying her words on repeat in his head. Only one person called him ‘Red’.

The detective shifted so he was holding the tissues to his own nose rather than having Hank help him & he turned to glare at North as he spoke up, his words a little muffled by his hand.

“Wh-what did you just say to me?”

North cocked an inquisitive eyebrow with a small smirk toying at her lips. “I said, leaving so soon, _Reed_?” She studied his face with a small twinkle of mischief in those deep brown eyes. “You don’t look so good, are you okay?”

Gavin could have sworn on everything he had that she called him ‘Red’ rather than ‘Reed’. But then again, just five minutes ago, he had been so sure that if you cut him open, he would have bled red too. So at this point, who the fuck knew what was going on in his head.

“‘M’fucking peachy.” He muttered through his grit teeth before turning on his heels & marching out of the club with Hank tailing close behind him. 

As he made it to his car, he swiped at his nose to be sure it had stopped bleeding, pocketing the tissue too. He then checked his face in his car’s wing-mirror to be sure there was no blood left on his face as his phone buzzed from within his pocket. 

After sitting himself in his car, Hank sitting alongside him in the passenger seat, he pulled out his phone to see who the hell else wanted his attention & the words on the screen had his stomach churning into knots of unease.  
  


[Unknown contact Oct 04 08:48 P.M]  
  


_‘Wolves can smell blood.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gavin: What the fuCK I BLEED PURPLE?  
> (As always, thank you V for helping me with editing)


	4. Nature VS Nurture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin has a lot to figure out, from where his feelings lay, to what is going on with his body. But just for a little while, he finds Richard yet again becoming the distraction that he so badly needs. Sure, it had been a month since the gangster decided to ghost him, but that's so easily forgotten when he's in Richard's company once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter starts with Nines getting physically injured at the hands of his mother. So please read with caution if that may affect you. (Spoiler but I'd rather people were safe, in short: She cuts his face with a blade)

**_September 18 2038_ **

“I already made it clear. Miller nor Chen know anything in regards to the Cyberlife killings, it has to be Reed. You finished the job, right, Nines?” The blond haired, brown eyed & more infuriating Wolf sibling hopped up to sit on the edge of Nines’ desk, swinging his legs nonchalantly with a small smirk on his face.

“He doesn’t know anything either.” Nines spoke as he kept his face impassive, not bothering to look up at Sixty from where he was working away on his laptop. “This is a futile mission. There has to be somebody else. Tailing these detectives is coming up with nothing.”

He knew that was a lie. A gut feeling told him that Gavin was on the hunt for his head without even knowing _who_ it was he was after. Nines was hoping that seeming as uninterested as he did wouldn’t raise any suspicious warning bells with regards to his secret infatuation with the detective that he was supposed to have killed.

There was a long pause, a silence falling between the siblings before it was finally broken by Sixty’s irritated voice. “You see, that’s kinda funny, Nines, ‘cause I asked if you finished the job like you were ordered to. Put a bullet in the detective’s skull once & for all. But, you didn’t give me an answer.”

The gangster’s actions momentarily froze, hands hovering over the keyboard as he drew in a few breaths, trying to keep the lid on his quickly dwindling temper. “I don’t answer to you, _Brother.”_

“You’re right, but you do answer to her-” Sixty’s smirk returned as he gestured to the door & as if on cue, Amanda made her way into the office. She completely ignored Sixty’s existence as she gracefully made her way around to stand beside Nines’ chair. 

Nines swiftly closed the email he had open & greeted her politely just as he always did; he didn’t miss the way her eyes were studying what he was doing on his laptop. 

“The Kamski brother. What does he know?” Always straight to the point. Amanda’s tone was ever cool & distant as she regarded her favourite son. She leaned over Nines’ shoulder just enough to take control of his laptop, rifling through the files he had accumulated on the detective he has been tailing.

“I am convinced he knows more than he lets on given his relations to Elijah, but this one is a difficult one to crack. Obviously. There is no bullet in him yet because he’ll slip up & say something he shouldn’t have. They always do. I have bugged his car already.” Nines swiftly took back control of the laptop to demonstrate.

He closed off the file Amanda was reading that he had accessed through the DPD’s weakly protected systems on Gavin’s therapy sessions with the mysterious Chloe Artei. She was a woman who seemingly popped up out of nowhere one day; with absolutely no history or records whatsoever besides that she began working as a psychiatrist for the DPD three months ago. 

Outside of that, she resided in a Cyberlife owned complex, or at least, that’s what the records showed. But, Nines knew all too well about having to use an alias to have oneself listed on building records to fool anyone who went looking - fooling them into believing that he stayed in a particular apartment when off the clock. 

Once the files were closed off, he clicked on an audio file that was constantly being streamed to his laptop.

As soon as the volume was loud enough, Gavin could be heard on his commute home from work, speaking with presumably Tina Chen about nothing too interesting - his cat; which Nines was just now learning was named Arthur. How… _cute_ this man was turning out to be.

Then, the conversation switched to Gavin poorly attempting to shut Chen down as she spoke of the SWAT Captain - the conversation implying more than what Nines was content with hearing & he found a spark of jealousy twisting its way around his gut.

But, his face remained uninterested & when eavesdropping on the conversation proved to be futile, he muted the file once more. He waited patiently to be spoken to before he spoke first.

“So, you torture him & he does not speak. You drop the bodies of the workers from his brother’s company all around him, all the while trying to shake him from your tail due to your sloppy mistakes & he still does not speak. What makes you think he’s going to slip up?” 

The way Amanda spoke, it was difficult to put into words. She spoke in such a way that had the air shifting around them, noticeably enough that it sent a shiver through Nines’ spine. Not much affected the man in such a way that caused a physical reaction, but he knew what was coming next & Amanda’s lack of morality _scared_ him. “I shall send somebody else to finish the job that you were sent out to do yet came back without finishing. He could be a loose end.” 

After swallowing down his sudden need to protectively react, he instead settled on calmly stating, “that will not be necessary, mother. I have this perfectly under control.”

“Perfectly under control?” She echoed but with ever so slight inflection as if to question it. She then trailed the back of her hand along Nines’ scarred right cheekbone before suddenly slamming his head down so his left cheek was pressed against his table.

“You are slipping, Son. Your kills have been growing sloppy enough to have detectives catch onto you for weeks now. The man that you swore to me that you left for dead months prior just so happens to be one of those detectives! I send you out with a direct order to kill that cockroach of a Kamski sibling & yet here we are, with you showing me that you have kept him alive against my strict order!”

“I swore to you that he was left for dead because it was true. Nobody should have been able to survive that fall. I saw the life leaving his eyes for myself.” Nines muttered, staring blankly ahead from where his head was being pressed into the hard surface of the table. “He _will_ slip, I just need time.” 

He realised that nothing he could say would defuse the situation in is favour. There was nothing that could ever excuse him from not following a direct order; so his words sat heavily in the air & he fell completely silent. Nines had never faltered when it came to killing in the hopes of stealing a few company secrets but when it had come to Gavin… he put that gun down not once, but twice.

Nines may have been slipping with just how well he believed he had a handle on a situation, especially when Amanda was involved; but he wasn’t about to be stupid enough to tell her that Gavin was a father which was one of the reasons as to why he let him live the second time around. Not when Amanda’s moral compass had long since been smashed into pieces; she’d simply kill Emma & call it collateral damage. 

He knew people like his mother all too well, as he was once one of those people too. Until he met Gavin.

“Somebody’s in trouble.” Sixty spoke in a sing-song voice, sliding himself off of the desk as he made his way around to Nines & Amanda. His hand disappeared into Nines’ inner blazer pocket to pull out the butterfly knife that the man kept on his person at all times.

Nines’ eyes widened ever so slightly & he found himself swallowing to dampen his throat so he could speak up to plead his case. But, just as he opened his mouth, Amanda beat him to it. She always did.

“Consider this a reminder.” She muttered as she took the knife from Sixty after he flipped it open. Without hesitation, she ran the sharpened end of the blade agonisingly slowly along the long scar that already sat on Nines’ face. Amanda maliciously reopened the old wound simply to prove a point as her other hand held Nines’ head firmly in place.

It was as though the scar was her guideline, the knife the pen & Nines’ blood the ink.

The gangster clenched his jaw as he grit his teeth together, trying to stifle the grunt of pain that crawled up from his throat. He instinctively screwed his eyes shut to stop the blood from trickling into them & silently prayed that Amanda would be merciful enough to not drag the blade across his eye. He already considered himself lucky that he could still see out of that eye without too much trouble from when he had originally gained the scar.

“You obey _my_ orders, Nines. You do as _I_ say & you get to keep everything that I have given you, as well as your life as Richard Wolf.” Her voice floated through the air, grating as it filled his ears. Her words dripped with disdain & disappointment.

Even with his eyes screwed tightly shut, Nines knew that Sixty was practically jerking it to seeing him in pain. He didn’t need to see to know his older brother was a fucking maniac. He knew Sixty was jealous of Amanda’s preference for him & Connor, which was why the brother was so quick to throw him under the bus in regards to Gavin.

“Don’t you _ever_ disobey a direct order from me again, are we clear?” The scorn in Amanda’s voice was unmissable. She continued to channel her wrath into the blade, digging it in particularly deep against the scar on Nines’ cheek before dragging it through his flesh. 

Nines finally cracked & let out a huff of air before quickly pressing his lips together to muffle the pained whimper.

“I want that detective’s head on a platter & _you_ will be the one to do it seeing as you are so inclined to believe that he will speak. You have three weeks. Twenty-one days exactly to find out what he knows & if by then you do not have answers, you wipe him from the playing board for good.” Her tone stayed just as sour but then again, that was just the tone she used when she regarded all three of her sons. “Do not become another loose end. This is your only warning.”

Amanda pulled the blade back. “You are my favourite son, Nines. Do not think I take pleasure in acts like these.” She dropped the knife onto the desk beside Nines’ head as she straightened herself back out, letting go of where her hand was tangled into is hair to hold him down.

“I know of your evening with the detective, Nines. I _knew_ you were slipping. If I find out that you are sleeping with the enemy again, your eye may not be so lucky next time. You should be wise to remember who it is you work for.” With that, she made her way out of the office with Sixty in tow. Nines slowly sat himself up, bowing his head as he watched his blood drip down onto the table below, watching as it created a small, deep red puddle. 

Ten minutes later found Nines’ secretary Brittney making her way into his office with a cup of coffee in one hand, work tablet in the other.

“Mr. Wolf? Sorry for not knocking but someth-” Her sentence was cut short as she looked up from her tablet. She saw her boss sitting at his desk as he focused on his reflection in the small mirror that was usually kept in his desk drawer, looking as though he were about to start stitching up his bleeding face.

“Mr. Wolf! Stop!” She shouted far more over-protectively than she would have ever liked to have shown as she hurried over to the desk. She placed the items in her hands down before hastily making her way around to stand in front of Nines. Brittney pulled on a pair of disposable gloves then took a few antiseptic wipes from the small first aid kit Nines had opened & made quick work of gripping her boss’ jawline to hold him still. She quickly began to wipe away the excess blood that was trickling from the wound. 

_It’s just business_. Nines’ words ran through her mind, the words she had heard him use from time to time in varying situations; they helped to keep her grounded & to keep her hands from shaking.

Brittney knew better than to ask what had happened or why, but she wasn’t stupid. She saw the maniacal gleam in Sixty’s eye as he left the office a few minutes prior. She knew that look never accounted for anything good in the world, especially not when paired with their mother. The woman seemed to only come out of hiding to make one of her sons wonder what they had done so wrong to deserve her wrath.

“Please don’t try to stitch a wound like that on your face with needle & thread, I thought North had taught you better than that.” She stated instead, shaking her head to feign disappointment at the fact that her boss clearly hadn’t learnt this lesson as of yet. 

The emotion in her voice was thicker than she had intended but when it came to seeing _that_ particular scar being reopened due to the Wolf’s family’s ever present need for control over people, it had an anger bubbling inside of her.

The original scar had been _her_ fault. 

The charismatic, cocksure man known to many as Richard Wolf had made his way into her old boss’ office to work on a few business deals one day. He had a confidence that Brittney could only ever dream of having. Back then, she was just an afraid little girl, a meek little secretary working for a sleazeball boss who would use her for his own personal gain. Whatever that meant varied from day to day. 

Until Richard walked into her life, her old boss would backhand her for making the tiniest of mistakes. Just as he was leaving, Richard heard the distinct sound of a slap, that unmistakable harsh sound of a hand against soft skin & it stopped him in his tracks. He paused in the doorway, tilted his head before he proceeded to make his way back into the office where the next sequence of events seemed to pass by in a blur.

All Brittney could do was cower in the corner as the two men threw one another against every available surface. Richard had thrown her boss into the alcohol cabinet he had in the office & as he was pinning the man down & strangling him when the sleazebag managed to grab a large shard of glass & slash it across Richard’s face. 

But, the gangster got the job done nonetheless. The fight ended with an ever present reminder plastered across Richard’s face of the first time he had taken a life all those years ago. From then on, it was inevitable that Brittney would follow him to the ends of the earth; after all, he was her salvation. He gave her a better life & made her who she was.

The secretary flinched out of her spiraling thoughts & snapped back to reality. 

She held a few wipes to the wound with one hand, using her other to find some skin glue that they kept in the first aid kit, one that she had become far too familiar with over the years of having to stitch her boss up. Brittney hastily yet carefully applied the medical glue to seal the wound, then applied a few small butterfly stitches to help hold the skin together to encourage the wound to heal faster. There was no need for complex stitches that would likely leave more scars when North wasn’t there with her expert hand to fix him up flawlessly.

“If I may be so bold as to say; you are playing with fire, Sir.” She said as she examined the wound to be sure it was properly sealed before taking off the gloves, throwing them in the small trash can along with the bloodied wipes. She then made work of putting the first aid kit supplies away as Nines made his way over to his whiskey shelf to pour himself a glass.

It seemed somewhat unfair in her mind. Brittney could see the twinkling lights of the city from the large windows that stood behind the man as he poured his drink. She couldn’t quite fathom how someone who deserved so much more got treated so poorly behind closed doors. 

“I shall get burned every time-” He paused to take a swig of his whiskey, relishing in the way it stung his throat before he continued, “-just as so the detective is in _my_ hands & nobody else's.”

Although it wasn’t outright stated, Nines’ had built his empire on a fault-line & Gavin was the earthquake.

_**October 04 2038** _

Gavin stared at the words that were taunting him through his phone screen, his brows furrowing together as he read them & reread them over again in his head. There was no way this couldn’t be from Richard, right? How the fuck did he-

“Gavin? You’ve been staring at that screen for an uncomfortably long time.” Hank chuckled through his words which helped to show he meant nothing rude by his remark.

“Huh? Oh.” Gavin smiled faintly as he turned his phone over. He glanced towards Hank who seemed to have an ever present look of concern on his face. There always was whenever the man was regarding Gavin. 

Gavin’s phone buzzed in his hands again & he tried his best to ignore it for the moment so he could focus on everything else. Everything else that was going on his head all at once & threatening to fry his brain. 

Thankfully, he was much calmer now he was sitting in the safe confines of his car with the person who he saw as his dad. The person who he knew he could trust with quite literally anything. Especially when it came to things that he couldn’t even tell Tina. 

“You still taking your meds, Kid?” Hank piped up as he studied the bags beneath Gavin’s eyes & the younger detective couldn’t help but duck his head self consciously upon the scrutiny.

“Fucking obviously.” Gavin scoffed. Chloe would kick his ass into next week if he ever dared stop taking whatever-the-fuck meds that she had him on. He didn’t know what they were but she insisted that they’d help improve his sleeping pattern & he was desperate enough to not question it.

“Every night like clockwork. It’s just, uh, I don’t know... it’s hard to sleep when you can’t stop thinking about-” 

Before Gavin had the chance to finish making up for his harsh response, his phone vibrated again to indicate another message had come through. Then there was another immediately after. With an irritated huff, he apologised before flipping his phone over in his hands to look down at the screen at the latest messages. 

[Unknown contact Oct 04 09:00 P.M]

_  
‘Thinking about me, Red?’ _

Definitely Richard. 

Why the fuck did he finish his sentence like that? 

Gavin ran one of his hands through his ever disheveled hair as he clicked on the image that was sent alongside that text. The more morbid part of his brain genuinely expected the photo to be of a severed head or something just as equally terrifying. This left him pleasantly surprised when the file instead loaded to show a selfie that was of Richard with Arthur, Gavin’s scruffy tabby cat. Arthur was rubbing his face against Richard’s right cheek, effectively hiding the one part of Richard’s face that Gavin had been most infatuated with. 

There was a tiny tug at the corner of Richard’s lips that showed a little smirk. That paired with the way the lighting made his eyes, those unfairly gorgeous pools of silvery grey, almost glow very nearly had Gavin’s breath catching in his throat. He didn’t second guess himself as he promptly saved the photo onto his phone.

“You have got to be kidding me.” He murmured to himself with a nervous chuckle as the realisation set in that Richard was _in_ his home. “That _motherfucker_.” If he were alone, he probably would have said ‘that criminal motherfucker’ but appropriately chose to avoid that one particular word when in the presence of his police lieutenant.

Shaking his head, Gavin hastily typed out a reply. 

[G.Reed Oct 04 09:08 P.M]

_  
‘See u met my criminal killer. Don’t even wanna know how u got in...or how u got my number. Will u be there when I finish work?’ _

Sure, he was pissed that the fucker just showed up out of the blue after ghosting him for a fucking month, but just as how Gavin didn’t think of the danger when thinking of his time with Richard, the time lost didn’t seem to matter now that he had his attention once again.

He promptly changed the contact name as another message came through.

[Dick (Wolf) Oct 04 09:09 P.M]

_  
‘Maybe, my patience only runs so far. Although, I will say, I am enjoying the small feline’s company.’ _

A shiver ran down Gavin’s mechanical spine as he read those words. They were a repeat of something Richard had said a month prior, as if Gavin could have ever forgotten. But, of fucking course only Richard would call Arthur ‘the small feline’, the bastard was too weirdly formal. Who the fuck is formal in text messages?

Hank had been quietly & patiently waiting for Gavin to finish on his phone. Once he saw the younger detective pocket his device, he finally spoke up, not bringing up the fact Gavin had spoken out loud to his phone a few moments prior. 

“How’s your head, Kid? Was it another headache? I ain't seen you have one of those since… Just after you woke up.” Hank seemed to almost get caught up on his wording, ever trying to be cautious as to not upset Gavin by reminding him of his recovery period.

Gavin swallowed with a nod, running one of his hands through his hair again as he let out a soft sigh & thought back to when he had woken up after his week long coma. The memories were somewhat distorted & fractured in his mind, that was something that always frightened him when he tried to think back on it. He always put it down to having been through so much physical, mental & emotional stress that his memories from that trauma were just on lockdown somewhere.

After he had woken up from his coma, the next six days were hell. Or at least, of what he could recall anyway. He distinctly remembered his head feeling as though it was quite literally on fire & from what Hank had told him, his recovery had rapidly declined to a point where Gavin couldn’t even speak.

All he properly remembered was the pain; day in, day out as he phased in & out of various stages of consciousness. Elijah had him almost permanently hooked up to a drip that had a strange purple liquid running throu- 

_Holy shit._

_Holy fucking shit._

That was _his_ blood.

How his brain had never pieced two & two together, he didn’t know. Gavin found himself having to fight against feeling dizzy so he could tell Hank about what had happened to trigger his nosebleed. He swallowed down the nerves that were swimming around his stomach & turned to look at the lieutenant.

“It’s weird, Hank.” Gavin started but fell quiet as he tried to collect his words & form a sentence that wouldn’t sound completely absurd. “Call me crazy but I saw the killer.”

“You saw the- _what?_ ” Hank looked positively baffled but played along. “As in, you saw the murderer & let him go free or-?”

“Oh for fuck sake. No, Dumbass, obviously not, but like, in my head? It sounds stupid as fuck but I could picture the whole thing unfold like a shittily made movie.” Gavin paused for a moment to better round up his thoughts into coherent sentences before continuing.

“The killer? He’s 6ft 2 & I think he dressed like one of the dancers so he could sneak into the room & kill that guy. The vic was gonna… I don’t know, but it looked like the vic was going to _use_ him but then he slashed the man’s throat. Cleaned up in the bathroom, changed his clothes & left by looking like a customer. I saw it.”

“I believe you, Kid, you know I’ll never second guess you, but I gotta ask… How the fuck did you figure all of that out? It matches with the evidence we got but you’ve given details that no evidence could have proven.” Hank’s voice was genuine & it was clear that he really did believe Gavin. He loved Gavin as a son & never once would he shut the kid down, no matter how far-fetched the situation seemed.

“I’m telling you, Hank, I know what I saw.” Gavin’s voice was quieter now, as if it only just dawned on him how absolutely fucking dumb he sounded. “That’s when I got the headache & the nose bleed. It ain't the first time this has happened either-”

“This has happened before? Gavin, Kid, I know ya don’t like talking about it but please tell me that you’ve talked with Elijah about all of this? When did it happen before?” Hank’s brows remained furrowed together as he sank back into the seat with a tired sigh. This was a lot to take in all at once - he couldn’t even begin to imagine how Gavin must feel on the inside.

Hank had almost forgotten just how tiring it was to be constantly worried about what could happen to your kid when they were out of sight. Sure, Gavin wasn’t _his_ child, nor was he, well, a child. But that didn’t stop Hank from seeing the younger detective as someone he needed to protect. 

“Not the nosebleed but the headaches. I was with a guy-”

“Oh, please do spare me the details, Gav-”

“Ew! Fuck off, old man, in your phckin’ dreams! No, listen. I was with a guy, we were hanging out & at your request, I’ll spare you the details, but he wanted me to do something for him & I swear to fuck, Hank... it was like everything went slower so I could properly focus on what I was doing. Then I got the headache! You gotta believe me, Hank, _please_.” 

Gavin promptly missed out quite literally every detail of the car chase but he was sure the vague description was enough for Hank to understand, even if the lieutenant thought he was on about some weird sex thing.

Then again, when he tasted Richard’s blood after biting him, he got a headache then too- what the fuck was going on?

His thoughts quickly began to spiral & he could vaguely hear Hank’s voice speaking but it almost sounded like muffled background noise. 

“-Of course I believe you. I think you might have to talk to your mad scientist of a brother on this one, no avoiding it… Gavin? What, you bluescreen or somethin’, Kid? Earth to Reed, hello?” Hank waved a hand in front of Gavin’s face before ever so gently resting a hand on his shoulder as to not startle the detective; instead hoping it’d drag him out of wherever his mind had got lost to.

After a moment of that vacant look lingering on Gavin’s face as he stared at the same spot on the dashboard of his car, he finally dragged himself back to reality with a frown. “Fuck you, Hank! I’m not a fucking PlayStation!” He glared at the lieutenant as he shrugged his hand off of his shoulder & grumpily folded his arms over his chest. “This ain't funny.” 

“Alright, alright, no broken technology jokes, got it. Look, how about you get your ass home & I’ll talk to Chloe about what you’ve told me. We’ll figure out what’s wrong with ya & we’ll fix ya right up, okay?” Hank offered a sad smile as an apology for his words that had clearly upset the younger detective to which Gavin begrudgingly unfolded his arms with a nod & started his car.

Hank leaned over to ruffle up Gavin’s hair, as if it needed disheveling further & once Gavin finally agreed to allow Hank to worriedly ask Chloe about what’s going on, they said their goodbyes. Gavin then promptly sped back to his apartment far more quickly than what was considered the legal limit.

But, he had a criminal to catch.

“Arthur?” Gavin called out softly as he unlocked his door with the handprint scanner, locking it behind him as he stepped into his house, squinting slightly as if that’d help him see through just how dark it was with all of the lights off. “Richard?”

“Here, kitty, kitty, you piece of shit, where are ya, huh?” He tried calling again but to no avail. “Okay… how about... here, Wolf, you piece of shit too, you still here?” His tone was far less soft as he regarded the gangster in comparison to how he called out to his cat but in return, his apartment stayed completely silent.

Gavin moodily grumbled beneath his breath & headed towards the direction of the kitchen so he could flick the lights on, but before he got the chance to reach for the switch, somebody grabbed his left arm & pinned it behind his back as they pressed his front up against the wall.

“Boo.” That oh so familiar, smooth as silk voice murmured against his ear.

“Shit. Well would you look at that, a fuckin’ ghost.” Gavin muttered as he flexed his fingers on the hand that was being pinned behind his back, not bothering to try & break free. He knew it was Richard & knew he wasn’t going to cause intentional physical harm - he had already proven that a month prior.

Ever so slowly, Richard let go of Gavin’s arm & the detective let out an audible sigh of relief to which Richard frowned but chose not to mention anything. Instead, his hands rested on the detective’s hips as soon as Gavin turned around & he pulled him closer. 

“I didn’t scare you?” Richard asked as he leaned in to immediately kiss along Gavin’s jawline, the man’s mildly out-of-control scruff tickling his lips.

“N-no.” Gavin was quick to answer, slipping his arms around Richard’s neck as he tipped his head to the side with a pleased sigh escaping his lips. “You were gone. For a-a month.”

He didn’t mean for those words to be said out loud, his thoughts were just running a mile a minute & a few just so happened to slip out in the form of words. 

But Richard didn’t seem to mind. Gavin felt the way the gangster nodded in agreement against where he was happily kissing along his jaw. The man was slowly making his way down his neck & if Gavin didn’t know any better, he’d suggest that Richard seemed almost… desperate? As if he had to kiss him quick before he disappeared for good.

“Hey…” The detective started as he gently pushed at Richard’s shoulders to get the man to stop for a moment so he could properly collect his thoughts. There was no way he was getting off the hook that easily with just a few kisses. Gavin had already learnt his lesson from the first night he had with the man. 

So, as Richard slowly took a step back, Gavin quickly went for the light switch so he could actually see that face that he had missed so much. But, as he flicked the switch on & turned to look at the other man, his brows furrowed into a look of complete worry.

“Ri-”

“Don’t.” Richard stated bluntly & was quick to tilt his head ever so slightly to the side as if he hoped the shadows would help hide the red trail down his face of just barely healed skin. 

Gavin knew how that felt all too fucking well. He quite literally had to admit to his physical therapist in Cyberlife that his shoulders & neck were so tense from always having his head ducked as if it’d help hide his face from the world around him & its prying eyes.

“Are you certain that I have not scared you?” Richard asked again. But this time, his voice wavered ever so slightly & he looked up properly to glare at the detective; leaving his face open to Gavin’s judgement as the detective could see the proper extent of the fresh scar tissue.

But, no judgement came. Only concern.

“I’m not afraid of you, Wolf.” To prove his statement to be true, he stepped up to the gangster & ever so gently reached a hand up to cup Richard’s left cheek, holding his face so he can better inspect the damage. “I’m not afraid.” He repeated but softer this time.

One of Richard’s hands came up to almost instantly grip Gavin’s wrist, as if he believed Gavin was going to cause some form of harm to him. “Well, you should be.” He muttered in a low, barely audible voice that, if Gavin’s hearing wasn’t so fucking immaculate, he would have missed. 

He kept his hand still as Richard held onto his wrist, studying the man carefully. 

Selfishly, Gavin was glad that he wasn’t the only one that looked like shit. He hadn’t had the energy to shave in weeks & he had hardly slept so his face had a variety of red & subtle purple hues painted across it.

As he was looking at Richard properly beneath the bright kitchen light, he could see that the gangster clearly wasn’t his best either.

Besides the fresh scar that was taking up the one half of his face, Richard’s eyes also looked tired. Not to the extent that Gavin’s were, but it was clear that the man had been over working. He had the ever so faintest of shadows along his jawline that indicated he too, wasn’t at his best game when it came to shaving & actually making oneself look presentable. But somehow, the fucker still looked flawless & Gavin would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous.

There were so many things running through Gavin’s mind that he wanted to say. ‘I missed you’, ‘I wanted to go to A9 Genetics to see you’ & even ‘you’re a fuckhead & I can’t believe I missed you after you held me at gunpoint’. But, they all just got lost in between his brain & mouth & when he opened his mouth to speak, the words just never quite made it out. He was convinced that he looked like a dumbass goldfish standing there, opening & closing his mouth but with nothing ever coming out.

Thankfully, Richard spoke first. “I was going to see you again.” He started, still holding Gavin’s wrist. His fingers ever so gently tapped along the flesh as he continued, “It was just difficult to find the time to visit a detective for the police department without raising suspicion. I do assume you understand.” 

The words seemed to float around Gavin’s mind for a moment before he picked them apart until they began to make no sense. It was a bad habit of his. But, the thought that Richard had wanted to see him & would have if they were not tied to opposite sides of the law sort of warmed his chest, in a strange way.

Gavin eyed the way Richard’s fingers mindlessly tapped along his inner wrist, his brain too tired & worn out to properly function at its full detective capacity. Something about the tiny action seemed so familiar but it sat like an itch he couldn’t quite scratch in the back of his mind beneath the ever present static.

He slowly pulled his arm from Richard’s grip so he could make work of putting Arthur’s food down for him with an ever so slight limp, trying to mask it the best he could. It had been a long fucking day. After his gun retrain having put his body under _a lot_ of physical stress then that whole headache ordeal - he was fucking tired & clearly, so was his body.

“You’re hurt.” Richard stated bluntly but his voice was quiet. He slowly took a step so he was standing behind Gavin as the detective struggled to properly stand back up from where he crouched down to put Arthur’s cat food bowl down. 

As soon as he felt Richard’s hand ever so gently place on his elbow to help support him, it was as if something inside the detective just… _snapped._

All of the stress piled onto his lack of sleep & missing Richard all the while trying to figure out what he was really feeling added on to the issues his body seemed to be having as of late - he just wanted it all to stop.

Yanking his arm a little too hard out of Richard’s grip, Gavin stumbled to the side slightly but managed to catch his footing & turned to face Richard, shoving at the man’s chest in his sudden outburst. “Fuck off! No fucking shit I’m hurt, Dumbass!” 

Sure, he couldn’t say shit regarding what actually hurt but that didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed to be angry about it. 

“I’m tired & I don’t fucking sleep & everything hurts & you-” Gavin’s voice cracked ever so slightly. Despite him trying to hide it, he could feel his emotions getting the better of him & he just didn’t know how to stop once he had started. “-You left & y-you didn’t come back!”

Richard went to open his mouth to speak but before he had the chance to, Gavin continued on his verbal rampage, “I know I shouldn’t care this much about some dickface who wanted to kill me, but fuck! I _fucking_ do! I was worried that something had happened to you or that I wasn’t good enough or that I-”

This time, it was Richard’s turn to cut him off but rather than speaking, he simply stepped up to the detective & ever so gently wrapped his arms around Gavin’s frame. After all, actions spoke louder than words. 

He held Gavin against his chest & used one hand to gently run his fingers through the man’s hair. Richard could feel the way his hands came up to clutch at the back of the black leather jacket he had chosen to wear & all he could do was hold the detective against his warm chest & hope that it was enough to calm him down, at least just for the moment. 

“Our night together, Detective, was far more enjoyable than I would care to admit. So do not think you somehow were not ‘good enough’. Why would you think that?” Richard asked softly, saying what he knew the detective wanted to hear all the while continuing to run his hands through Gavin’s hair. 

All he needed was for the detective to open up, to _trust_ him. He only had a few days on his ticking clock before Amanda unleashed her hell upon them both but he believed that if he could gain Gavin’s trust as quickly as possible - Gavin will be more willing to open up about Elijah when asked. 

If violence & torture wouldn’t work then the gangster was going to have to attempt the opposite route. Richard was going to have to _care._

He just needed time.

“I don’t know... I just, I’m all broken ‘n shit-” Gavin muttered through a faint sniffle & he grumbled moodily, “I cry when ‘m angry, can’t help it.” As if he needed to defend himself & what he was feeling. But, just as Gavin didn’t judge Richard & was merely concerned - the sentiment was returned. 

“I’m not judging you for being upset.” Richard started, pausing so he could shift them enough to cup Gavin’s jaw to make the detective look at him in the eyes - Gavin complied, albeit reluctantly. “You are not broken, Gavin. And even if you were, there is nothing in this world that that is broken that cannot be fixed.”

He wasn’t wrong. With the technological advances of the world they lived in - almost anything could be fixed or made into something new. No need to be thrown away. Gavin was one of those things & Richard wasn’t even aware of it.

Having no experience to go off of, Richard was never good when it came to comforting someone. He only had the briefest of ideas based off of when Connor had tried to comfort Sixty on occasions when the more unhinged sibling got upset rather than angry.

It wasn’t as though their mother had time to comfort them when they were stressed or sad about something when she had brought them up. So, instead, they had all conditioned themselves into not getting upset; into not caring. Richard had always succeeded with flying colours in that regard… or at least, he thought he had.

Before Gavin, Richard had always felt nothing in regards to how he made other people feel; but now he found that he was almost having to try & convince himself that he didn’t care.

There was just something about Gavin. Something that had all of Richard’s perfectly crafted walls crumbling down around him & he was reluctant to admit it but maybe he was beginning to show _empathy._

“I, uh, I need a cigarette…” Gavin mumbled as he awkwardly pulled away from the gangster, fishing his pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket in the process.

Just as Richard wasn’t very good with trying to comfort people - Gavin was not well adjusted in receiving comfort & often found himself trying to escape it the best he could. Whether through believing he didn’t deserve it or simply because accepting it meant people could get close simply to hurt him again, he couldn’t be sure.

Gavin sparked up his cigarette as he stood near the kitchen window, opening it barely an inch so the smoke could at least filter out a small bit. If he didn’t have Arthur in the house, he’d keep all the windows shut & wouldn’t bother but, he actually gave a shit about his cat’s health. 

“You have a balcony, do you not?” Richard piped up after a long silence that consisted of him crouching down to pet Arthur while Gavin focused on calming himself down. “Why open the window when you could just go to the balcony?

Richard knew what he was doing. He knew exactly why the hell Gavin couldn’t go anywhere near his balcony but he was curious on just how far he could push & just how much Gavin was willing to tell him. 

It took a moment of Gavin glaring at the floor between his feet as he drew in a deep drag of the cigarette before finally sighing out the smoke as he mumbled bluntly, “I don’t like heights.”

“You are acrophobic. Why is that? Personally, I used to be afraid of hospitals. I still do not particularly like them, but for different reasons, of course.” He straightened himself back out from where he was petting Arthur’s head & leaned against the kitchen table as he studied the detective.

Richard didn’t do hospitals because that would mean he was on record somewhere - leading the police right to his tail. Why bother with professionals when he had a very talented part time tailor & part time sex club owner who could stitch him up when needed right in his pocket?

Gavin scoffed at how pronounced all of Richard’s words were & shrugged. 

“Yeah, not a huge fan of hospitals either but I got used to them after being in one for so long. Goes with my height thing. My therapist thinks I have PTSD or some shit from an accident I had that involved heights so now they make me panic.” He tried to act more nonchalant than he really was about it because he felt as though it were almost too childish to be afraid of something so… basic.

He could handle gunshot wounds, being stabbed, having his heart broken, witnessing death, but heights? Fucking nope.

“Did you fall?” Richard questioned, tilting his head in a curious manner as he studied every tiny expression that twisted & changed on Gavin’s face as the detective tried to figure out his best course of answering. 

“Something like that.” His green eyes flickered up to meet pools of silver-grey & there was an almost mischievous look in them if Richard wasn’t mistaken.

“Someone pushed you?”

“Something like that.” Gavin repeated, mimicking the way Richard completely avoided giving him straight answers on their first night together. Whilst a part of Richard was frustrated that Gavin was an exceptionally difficult man to get to open up, he was also rather impressed that the detective was using his own words against him.

Richard pushed himself up from where he was leaning against the counter-top & made his way over to the detective so he could pinch the cigarette from Gavin’s fingers to take a deep drag much to Gavin’s adorable pouty face at his thievery. 

“Come with me.” He stated bluntly & Gavin could hear in Richard’s tone that it wasn’t a request but rather a demand, so he knew better than to try & question it. He simply nodded as Richard finished his cigarette & stubbed it into the ashtray, shutting the window just after. He took Gavin’s right hand, interlacing their fingers as he led the detective out of the apartment & to the elevator.

The way their hands seemed to so effortlessly fit together had the faintest of blushes creeping along Gavin’s cheeks.

It was only when Richard clicked the button for the top floor that Gavin’s panic set in & he was quick to lunge for the ‘open door’ button to try & escape the inevitable demise that he was about to face.

“N-no! Richard?! What the phck are you doing?! You b-better let me out right fucking now!” He jabbed his finger against the button repeatedly but it was of no use now the elevator was already on its way to the top.

When Gavin panicked, he found that his words often pressed together in a strange way & his ‘fuck’ came out more like ‘phck’.

He could feel the walls closing in on him & the ceiling beginning to collapse as his chest felt as though someone had booted him in it. But, right as he was convinced that the dizzy panic was going to drag him into the dark abyss, two warm, gentle hands cupped his cheeks & made him focus on the gorgeous man in front of him. 

“Gavin, listen to me. You hear my voice & you focus on that, okay? You focus on what I’m saying.” His thumbs gently ran along Gavin’s scarred cheekbones & the detective subtly nodded, his glassy eyes fighting against the dazed panic so he could focus on Richard’s face & the words he was saying.

“Do you remember when I told you I trusted you when we were in the car together?” Richard asked calmly. Only he would recall a car chase with the chance of being killed as a fond memory but he found that having Gavin in his memories had a strange warmth hit him in the chest that he hadn’t felt before.

It left him wanting more.

Gavin nodded once more while trying to focus on keeping his breathing calm. He went to speak but the soft ‘ding’ of the elevator doors opening had his mouth drying up on the spot & the words getting lost as his panic began to crawl up his throat & threatened to choke him. 

“Right, you remember. Good.” Richard shifted them so his back was to the elevator doors which made it so Gavin could see everything that was going on. One of Richard’s hands stayed on Gavin’s cheek but the other found its way to sit on the detective’s hip as the gangster began to slowly lead them out of the elevator & onto the rooftop garden by walking backwards. One step at a time & keeping it slow.

The apartment complex was nowhere near as tall as some of the ones in central Detroit & part of Richard believed that Gavin resided in East Detroit due to most of the buildings being rather small in height in comparison to everywhere else. But he also knew that east & north were Kamski territory.

“Now I need you to trust me too, okay, Red?” 

“I-I can’t..” Gavin managed to rasp out through his quickening breathing. In Richard’s mind, he was almost proud of the detective for saying it with such honestly but he knew that honesty only came from the fear of the situation he was being put in.

Gavin did trust him, whether he meant to or not. He trusted him enough to not bat an eyelid as Richard decided to text from inside Gavin’s apartment after overriding the lock to get in for himself.

“You can. I have a lot of trust in you considering you are a detective. I do believe it is polite for you to return the favour.” Richard smirked slightly as he continued taking ever so slow steps backwards so he was getting closer to the edge of the building’s rooftop. 

Gavin’s hands were clutching at Richard’s shirt now as he stared at the man with wide, fear filled eyes & Richard couldn’t help but think that Gavin was more afraid now than when he was being held at gunpoint. 

“You’re a c-criminal, why should I-I trust you? How do I know that y-you really trust me?” Gavin internally cringed at how fucking stupid he sounded as he tripped over his words, but he was pretty sure holding back a panic attack was a good enough excuse to not be fucking fluent.

“Because, Red-” Not once did Richard look at anywhere other than Gavin. He was putting his life 100% in the detective’s hands. “-I’m just going to keep walking backwards & I trust that you’ll stop me when I get to the edge.”

The nervous, rough laugh that escaped Gavin’s mouth was weak & breathy but it had the faintest of smiles tugging at the left side of Richard’s face.

“This is t-taking ‘trust falls’ to a whole other level. You’re insane, Wolf; you know that?” 

“So I’ve been told. But you haven’t stopped us from walking yet-” Richard tilted his head slightly again in that way he does when he’s focusing on something interesting. That something interesting being the detective that was shuffling his feet along as he followed. He was still leaning more of his weight on his right side, Richard could tell as much but he could also tell how hard Gavin was trying to hide his slight limp so he chose to not mention it.

Gavin peaked around Richard’s taller frame to see if they were close to the ledge & muttered a pathetic ‘oh god’ beneath his breath & swallowed down his panic. But, as Richard began to take a few more steps - longer in distance this time - Gavin clutched onto his shirt tighter & yanked the gangster against him as he stumbled back away from the edge slightly. 

“O-okay, okay, fucking _stop!"_

Everything stilled.

Richard stopped walking & glanced down at his feet to see them standing barely a step away from the ledge before looking back up to Gavin’s face while still seeming completely apathetic.

Gavin’s chest was rising & falling far more quickly now & the detective all but fell against Richard’s chest as he clutched onto the man once more. He squeezed his eyes shut & barely managed to whisper out, “y-you’re a fucking asshole. I-I hate you, please don’t make us go any further.”

Richard’s arms securely wrapped around the detective as he ever so gently rubbed at Gavin’s back between his shoulders. When Gavin tensed beneath the touch, Richard dropped his hand to his middle back instead & could tell Gavin was silently grateful as he slowly began to untense & relax just the tiniest bit.

They stood there together, Gavin hiding away against Richard’s chest for what felt like an eternity before the detective finally decided to slowly pull back just enough to look up at the gangster, his eyes puffy from trying to hold his tears back. 

“My d-day has been fucking difficult a-and you come along to make it worse.” He laughed faintly through his words but he stayed looking up at the man; focusing on the only thing that seemed to be not so scary in the world in that moment. 

“Well, you have to admit that the view is rather dashing.” Richard’s lopsided smirk graced his features as he winked at the detective, gaining a quiet groan in response.

“Fuck you for being so attractive. And lame as shit.”

“You are a man of such grace when it comes to wording things, Detective.” Richard teased & slowly pulled away from Gavin once he felt the man’s breathing settle back to a healthy, non-panicked pace. 

Richard planted a gentle kiss to the scar that cut through Gavin’s lip then moved to sit on the rooftop ledge with his legs hanging over the side. He leaned back with his hands propping him up so he could tip his head to look up at the stars twinkling through the night sky. 

“Care to join me, Detective?” Richard tipped his head back a little further so he could flicker his gaze to the anxious man above, his eyes sparkling beneath the moon’s natural glow.

Gavin shifted from foot to foot, it was almost an internal battle with himself to even be able to drag his eyes from Richard so he can glance around & hell, the asshole was right. The view from this height was fucking gorgeous. 

He could see over the treeline that usually shadowed the view from his balcony that he never stepped foot onto & could properly see the twinkling lights from the city illuminating the lower half of the sky. The sky gradually got darker the higher up he looked until it sat as nothing more than a dark abyss with the odd star lighting up the void that surrounded it.

It sort of made him think that they were all just in a giant box; the sky was the lid & the stars were just the air holes poked into it to keep them alive. 

Ever so slowly, Gavin sat himself down beside Richard but refused to put his legs over the side. No, he wasn’t that brave. Not yet.

“I-I hate you.” Gavin grumbled but he wanted to prove that he could do it. That he could be better than his past. That he was _more_ than his past.

“So you’ve told me.” Richard replied & offered Gavin his hand to hold. The detective refused momentarily & instead chose to slowly lay himself down on his back with a faint wince, his head resting on Richard’s thigh so all he could see was the sky & the man he had way too fucking much trust in. 

Then, he took Richard’s hand in both of his, gripping it tightly & hugging it to his chest almost; close enough that Richard could feel the rhythm of Gavin’s heart beating. It was a little faster than what was considered healthy but given the situation, he’d probably be more concerned if it was calm.

Richard gazed down to where Gavin had made himself comfortable using his thigh as a pillow & took note of the way Gavin was pressed as close to Richard’s torso as he could get to keep him as far away from the edge as possible.

Using his free hand, Richard gently ran his fingers through Gavin’s hair, pushing it off of where it usually fell over his forehead to reveal another scar that got lost in his hairline somewhere that he hadn’t noticed before.

There was that feeling again. 

A sour feeling climbing up from the deep, dark depths of his insides & that clawed at his stomach as if trying to escape. Each time he saw Gavin, each time he saw a scar or the way Gavin seemed to be constantly hurting - that sour feeling followed shortly after. _Guilt_.

But there was a warmth that spread through his chest every time he saw Gavin’s smile or saw the way the detective admired his features despite the scar sitting across the right side of his face - it was a feeling like no other. 

A small part of him believed that there was no way he could have one feeling without the other.

He knew that come morning, he would have to go. He’d have to leave the east side of the city before he could be spotted snooping around it, he knew Kamski had eyes everywhere around this area. He knew that he was digging himself a deeper grave by spending time with the detective. He knew he was on the clock, that Gavin would find out sooner or later who he really was. 

He knew all of that.

But for now, Richard selfishly stole as many moments of calm as he possibly could. 

Before the havoc, heartache & mayhem of his lifestyle came crashing back like an angry wave & decided to take away everything that was worth keeping.

Rather than admiring the stars that illuminated the sky, he instead found himself admiring the shooting star that was lying in his lap. Beautiful in every possible way, a flaring light against a vast sea of darkness that he was so accustomed to, but still a light that was gone all too quickly.

And for one fleeting moment, the world seemed a little less evil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who has read this far & I hope that this chapter helps to redeem Nines/Richard even if it's just the tiniest amount, but it isn't like he isn't still an absolute bastard-


	5. Fun & Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From good, to bad, to worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been kinda iffy over this chapter as when they aren't full of angst, I feel as though I am not so good at writing, but I do hope you enjoy it. <3

A shiver ran through Gavin’s mechanical spine as the bitter night air nipped at him even though he was still wearing his own jacket. He put it down to how high up they were. Yeah, fuck heights. Not only were they fucking terrifying but they were cold as shit too & the cold never did his joints any favours.

Richard must have noticed, because he pulled his hand from where Gavin was still gripping at it so he could silently slip his leather jacket off & gently drape it over Gavin’s torso. 

The detective almost instantly pulled the jacket tighter to his chest, snuggling up to it the best he could given their positioning. 

His lower back felt as though it was on fire, which was a stark contrast to the cold air; lying on his back was never a good idea. He almost always lay on his right side but if he were to do that, he’d be facing the ledge, & to put it bluntly: _F_ _uck.That._ He was only barely holding it together by completely pretending like he wasn’t one wrong move away from tumbling right back into another fucking coma.

If he were to lay on his left side, not only would his hip all but scream at him but then he’d be far too close to Richard’s crotch. Not that he minded that thought - but right now, he just wanted to appreciate his moment of calm while he still could. Moments like these never lasted. Especially not when it was Gavin fucking Reed who was experiencing them.

He murmured a soft ‘thank you’ & his body began to warm up. Gavin swallowed, dampening his throat so he could break their peaceful silence. 

“So, you made me do something scary. Now it’s your turn.”

He focused on Richard’s face. Those words seemed to drag his attention away from wherever it was that his mind had spiraled to.

“Oh?”

Gavin nibbled at his lip as he decided on the best way to go about wording his sentence correctly. He finally found the courage to ask it rather bluntly. 

“What happened to you? Somebody reopened your scar.”

“You said, ‘something scary’. What about that question is scary?” Richard quipped, the inflection in his voice indicating some form of curiosity.

Gavin rolled his eyes & poked one hand out from beneath the warmth of the jacket he had over him so he could grab Richard’s hand again. After giving it a gentle squeeze, he pulled it along with his own back under the jacket. 

“Because, Dipshit, it means you have to open up. _You_ have to trust me enough to tell me what happened & _I_ gotta trust that you’re telling me the truth. That’s scary.”

Gavin knew just how fucking scary it was having to open up to people. He was still finding it difficult to properly open up to Chloe about half of the shit that cycled through his head on a daily basis.

The silence that followed had Gavin thinking that he had fucked it up for good this time, that he stepped over that line that Richard didn’t want crossing, which would leave him having to try to convince Richard not to leave.

Sure, he didn’t know Richard that well, but he definitely had a sense that there were certain boundaries that he should know better than to cross. But yet again, Gavin was nothing if not a flirt with danger.

Instead, the man yet again managed to catch him completely off guard as he spoke up after a long moment of simply, well, silence-

“How about we play a game?” Richard mused, his focus solely on the man in his lap.

“Chloe would hate you. All you ever do is answer my questions with more questions. I already told you how fucking annoying that is. But... you’ve got me, I’ll take the bait. What’s your game?” Gavin genuinely found himself to be curious.

“For every answer I give, you have to give me one right back. Only truths. I’ll start by answering your question. If you’re content with the answer, it’s my turn to receive an answer.” 

Gavin studied those grey eyes that somewhat reminded him of the full moon - a brightness against so much darkness & mystery. It reminded him of some poetic shit that Tina had once said; about how one shouldn’t trust the moon because even though beautiful, she still had two faces. Every time he found himself looking into those gorgeous eyes, that line lingered around the back of his mind.

But for now, he figured he’d play along with the verbal game of Russian Roulette until one of them pulled the trigger & got _metaphorically_ shot. To show he agreed with Richard’s terms, he simply nodded.

Then, right as Richard was about to start speaking, Gavin suddenly cut him off. 

“Wait, wait! What happens if I don’t give an answer?” 

“Then it’s game over & you don’t get to ask me all of the questions I know that you are dying to get out of that clever little brain of yours.” Richard spoke up, his eyes scrutinising as he studied every detail of Gavin’s face. Yeah, he was really beginning to regret not bothering to shave.

“So.” Richard started before he paused to see if Gavin was going to interrupt him again. But, when he was greeted with an unimpressed eye-roll, he gave a lopsided smirk & continued. “In my line of work, loose ends are considered a death sentence. So, as I did not get rid of mine, I had to pay the price. But, for what it is worth, I would do it again.”

Gavin should have known that the cunning prick wouldn't give him a straight answer.

The way he looked down at Gavin, the way his eyes seemed almost sad for barely a second before that impassive look washed back over them, Gavin had a small feeling that he knew exactly _who_ that loose end was. 

Well, shit.

That just led to more questions though, questions that he was likely never going to get answers to until he did his own research behind Richard’s back. 

Why? Why, out of the however-the-fuck many people that walked this earth, was Richard so intent on _not_ killing him? Then again, why the _f_ _uck_ was he a loose end?! What did that even mean? Gavin was nothing. He had nothing to offer. Nothing but complaints & questionable life choices.

“Why would yo-”

“Ah, ah, it appears as though you have forgotten the rules already, Red. I do believe it is my turn to ask a question.” Richard ran his fingers gently through Gavin’s hair as the detective huffed, promptly shutting his mouth to wait for whatever the fuck he was going to have to answer.

“Are you in pain?”

Well, that wasn’t quite the type of question Gavin was expecting. 

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“You just fuckin’ shot me down for that! This is _your_ game & you’re forgetting your own rules. It’s my turn.” Gavin paused & shot Richard a pointed look before he continued. “So, what are you trying to make at A9 Genetics? I’ve heard talk, y’know, about rivaling companies & stuff. People say Cyberlife don’t like you guys, why is that?” Sure, it was technically two questions, but he really did want to know why Elijah & Chloe hated A9 so much.

Richard cocked a curious brow at the detective. How much about their rivalry did Gavin truly know? Was he asking questions that he already knew the answers to just to play with Richard in the same way the man was so clearly was playing him?

“Are you sure that is the question you want to ask?” He asked, but not bothering to give Gavin the time to contemplate it before he continued with his answer anyway. “We are not _trying_ to make anything. We are succeeding in our genetic engineering field. One of the many aspects we research is cloning. The chief of our company was fired from Cyberlife many, many years ago due to her & Elijah Kamski’s beliefs on the matter being rather… divergent.”

Yeah, Gavin had heard his brother babble on about this briefly in the past. 

Eli had been distraught. 

He had lost one of his top engineers before they had even begun the actual process of creating whatever it was they were going to work on. Gavin had been told that she wanted to clone _human_ subjects. Whereas Elijah believed it was only acceptable to make duplicates of AI, hence the company name _Cyber_ life. Duplicating AI technology & cloning human beings were two drastically different concepts. AI were machines, not people.

If Gavin remembered correctly, her name was A-something. Fuck if he knew. Apparently she went on to create her own company to carry on her research without Cyberlife’s restraints. 

Fuck technology, that shit was terrifying. Sure, it was keeping him alive, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t scary as fuck. Elijah wanted to make sentient robots outside of the prosthetic market he was working on & A-something… Amanda! Her name was Amanda. Amanda wanted to create clones of real people. 

“Cloning? Fuck, could you imagine talking to a clone of someone?! They wouldn’t even be a _real_ fucking person! Just a copy! A replica of the original person they were copied from; which is actually kinda sad when you fuckin’ think about it. Would they think the same? Would they even _feel?_ I mean, fuck, they probably wouldn’t even have their own personali-” 

Gavin cut his rant off, looking up from where he was picking at a thread on the jacket to meet Richard’s eyes. The look that the man was giving him had his words getting caught in his throat. It was clear he had said something wrong. Very, very wrong. Hell if he knew what, but he sure did have a habit of saying the wrong fucking thing at any given opportunity.

Richard looked _angry._

Ever so slowly, Gavin sat himself up, biting down on his lip to stifle his wince. Once the pain that flared in his back began to subside, he stood himself up, pointedly moving away from the ledge before he held Richard’s jacket out to him. 

“Uh, I, it’s getting late, uh-” 

What was the best way to say ‘you’re scary as shit & I wanna go to bed’ without sounding like an absolute ass?

Sure it was only a few seconds at best, but Gavin felt as though they dragged out into a lifetime as he stood there. He watched as Richard finally stood himself up from the ledge, watched as the man carefully smoothed the creases out of his black button down & pants, each swipe of a hand was a clearly calculated movement. Richard was taking his time & only when he had finally finished, did he take his jacket that Gavin had been holding out him for what felt like an eternity.

Where there was once an anger in those eyes, it had vanished & instead, they sat looking almost distant; his face practically impossible to read. 

“I suppose our game is over.” Richard stated bluntly, but he held his free hand out for Gavin to take anyway. “Allow me to walk you back to your apartment. Even if it is only an elevator ride away.”

Gavin hesitated for a moment, looking between the man’s hand & his eyes as he tried to catch onto whether it was some kind of trick or not. Deciding it was safe, he took Richard’s hand in his right one, lacing their fingers together as they made their way back towards the elevator. 

Richard’s hands were always so warm & soft. Gavin glanced down to look at their interlaced fingers & couldn’t fight off the sense of _right_ that came with it. It felt as though his hand was made to hold Richard’s & nothing in that moment could convince him otherwise.

“I’m sorry if I upset you, Richard. That was... unfair of me to talk of your work like that.” Gavin finally mumbled, breaking their silence only once they were back inside the elevator.

As the elevator started to move back down, there was something about the tight way Richard had gripped his hand that gave him the sense that if he had somehow insulted the criminal, he wasn’t holding a grudge.

“It’s okay. You merely speak poorly of things that you do not understand.” Although those words were mildly offending, the smile that Richard offered Gavin was quite the opposite. 

“Maybe you could educate me sometime.” The thought of clones creeped the hell out of him & there was no way he wanted to see A9’s inner workings. But if this was going to work, whatever _this_ was, he needed the peace offering there. 

The detective smiled faintly in return, apologising once more for good measure. He fell quiet as he led Richard towards his apartment, only letting go of Richard’s hand so he could unlock the door. 

_Say goodnight & send him on his way, Gav. Don’t be stupid. _

Gavin turned to face the man, keeping his body between the door & the frame so Arthur didn’t try to dash out like the little shit he was. 

_Say good-fucking-night, Gavin._

“So, uh...did you maybe want to stay the night? I mean, you don’t have to & I’m sure you probably have more important things to do & I’m probably being stupid but I-”

“I would be honoured.” 

_You’re a fucking idiot._

Gavin smiled shyly & despite that constant voice in his head chastising him for all of his bad fucking decisions as of late, a soft blush began to creep across his cheeks causing him to duck his head a little in a poor attempt at hiding it.

Stepping aside to let Richard in, he locked the door behind them both then stretched, hissing in pain as the action caused sharp pains to run along his back. “ _F-fuck.”_

Fuck... Yep, lying on his back for however fucking long they were on the rooftop for was definitely a damn terrible idea.

“Are you okay?” Richard asked. He was quick to place his jacket on the coat hook near the door before settling his hands on Gavin’s hips to help steady him, his brows furrowed with faint worry. 

“Tell me what you need.”

“I need you to stop pretending like you care.” Gavin snapped, his voice far more rough than he would have liked. It was thick with all the emotions that he was trying real fucking hard to keep bottled up. He had too many unanswered questions running through his head. “I know guys like _you_ all too fucking well & I know you don’t fucking care. So, tell me, what do _you_ want? You here to get laid, is that it? Why fucking break into my house?” As he put emphasis on ‘you’, he poked a finger hard into Richard’s chest.

Richard’s hand came up to grip Gavin’s wrist as he glared coolly at him.

“I highly doubt you know any 'guys like me', Detective. I am rather offended that you would make such a comparison.” The man spoke in that voice that was all too self-confident. 

That was the thing with Richard; he always spoke as if he knew exactly how the situation was going to go. As if he somehow knew Gavin was going to lose his temper & Gavin couldn’t decide if that pissed him off or turned him on.

“Yeah, you’re right. Nobody is as goddamn cocksure as you fuckin’ are.” Gavin muttered, his voice more quiet this time. 

He realised that he didn’t want to start an argument after asking the guy to stay the night. But, as Richard’s fingers started to softly tap along his wrist as he spoke, the action had a weird feeling sitting in his gut yet again. 

Gavin studied the micro-action that was clearly done out of habit with furrowed brows until he finally understood why it lingered persistently in his mind, almost as if were something that should stand out to him. 

Fuck.

Slowly, Gavin pulled his wrist free from Richard’s grip as he chewed on his lower lip, his mind recounting the scene that he had played out in his head while he was at the Eden Club - more specifically, the way the killer tapped his fingers along the whiskey glass before smashing it over the victim’ head.

It was Richard, he killed the man. 

Before Gavin even had the chance to start his accusations of murder, Richard beat him to it. 

“Gavin, I did not come here to get laid. Although that would be a bonus, that is not why I am here. Is it so hard to believe that I simply wanted to come & see _you?”_

Those words had his own dying on his tongue.

A sad look passed across Gavin’s face as he looked up at the criminal that stood before him. He knew what he should do, but he also knew what he wanted & to say those were a conflict of interests was an understatement. Gavin drew in a deep breath before he finally spoke, more so to just voice his thoughts rather than to talk to Richard directly.

“It was you.”

He could have sworn that he saw a subtle look of panic flash across Richard’s face but as soon as he blinked, it was gone. 

“What was me?” Richard asked coolly. 

There was no way that the detective had any indication that he was the one who ordered his torture & he planned on keeping it that way. He had been playing it far too safe for this lonely, lovable idiot to figure it out so soon.

“Don’t fucking play coy with me! Is this what you do? You kill people then cosy-up to the detectives who are investigating the murders so they don’t haul your ass into super-max where you belong?” Gavin’s voice had a distant anger in it that grew more defined as he spoke, green eyes narrowing into a killer glare at the man opposite as he finished.

“Gavin…” Richard started, but then trailed off. 

He could see the embers glowing in those green eyes as they glared in his direction. There was a fire in this detective. A fire that was fighting to burn against the forests of darkness that so badly wanted to let Richard get away with his actions. All the man needed was to be swayed towards that darkness, just as he had done with many cops in the past. 

Good job Gavin was easy to manipulate.

With a soft sigh escaping his lips, Richard bowed his head to momentarily look down at his shoes before he met with Gavin’s eyes once again. He feigned a look of sadness as the detective awaited an explanation.

“I… that man hurt that poor worker. Then he tried to hurt me, Gavin. It was self defence. I never planned on killing him, I only planned on teaching him a lesson in how to treat women with a little more respect. I’d never kill an innocent... But then he pinned me down & I didn’t know what else to do. I came here because you’re the only-”

Richard sounded _hurt._

Gavin’s anger dwindled at an exponential rate, quickly being replaced with a strange sort of understanding. He didn’t need to hear the end of the sentence so he chose to cut Richard off by slipping his arms around his neck. “Richard, baby, I’m here, okay?”

‘I’d never kill an innocent.’ 

That sentence stood out to Gavin & he ran it through his mind a few times. Richard wasn’t bad, necessarily. He just… wasn’t good. That or maybe Gavin really was going fucking delusional & this is why he had Chloe.

He wasn’t entirely sure what it was, whether it was the saddened look in those sparkling stormy eyes of Richard’s or whether it was the implication of what the man would have said if he hadn’t made the conscious choice of cutting him off, but Gavin felt the urge to comfort him. 

He knew damn well that the act did not affect him as much as he was making it out to, but Gavin didn’t care. He _knew_ that Richard was okay, but after seeing his little reconstruction in his mind of the scene unfold, he knew if it were him in that situation, he wasn’t entirely sure if he would have been able to think so fast on his feet as to grab one of the pieces of glass. 

Gavin pulled back from the embrace to take Richard’s hand that he had pictured picking up the glass & turned it palm side up so he could inspect it. As if it only just dawned on him that the man could have gotten hurt. 

The wound was only tiny, hardly noticeable if one was not outright looking for it. It had Gavin’s brows furrowing together; surely the glass would have cut his hand far more severely with the force in which he grabbed it to kill the victim in the first place.

But yet again, Richard’s voice filling his ears quickly dragged his thoughts back to the present before he could get too stuck in the past.

“I’m fine.” He spoke up softly, pulling his hand back from where Gavin was looking at it & instead took up slowly beginning to get Gavin out of his jacket. The detective was quick to catch the hint, pulling his arms out with a shy smile on his face. 

Richard needed comfort.

Comfort that he clearly wasn’t going to find anywhere else but in Gavin’s apartment. It made Gavin wonder just how _bad_ Richard really was if the man was willing to find solace in a detective.

Richard hung the jacket up beside his own then made his way back over to his favourite detective, hands landing on Gavin’s hips so he could pull the man flush against himself. 

“For the record, Red, I am not pretending to care.” He whispered against Gavin’s ear, earning an involuntary shudder from the detective.

The way the words rolled so easily off of his tongue should have had him worried in regards to the implications behind such things. Although a lot of what he was doing was indeed pretending; weaving a web of lies to make himself out to be someone he was not, there was a small part of him that did not want to see Gavin hurt.

Richard really was finding himself to be playing a very dangerous game, but he had been told more than once that he liked playing with fire. He liked stakes that were higher than what most were willing to bet. The gangster played those games & very rarely lost. He had cheated death nine times over, playing until he got the results he wanted.

Dangerous games? Richard _reveled_ in those.

“I wanted to see some good after having a day filled with so much bad.” He lied, kissing Gavin before the man had a chance to speak up. 

Gavin went to complain, having not finished with their earlier conversation about Richard _killing_ a man, but the sound was stifled as Richard’s tongue darted against his lips to demand entry. 

Kissing the gangster back with a need that only Richard seemed to be able to flare up inside of him, Gavin slipped his arms around the man’s neck once again to pull him closer. He deepened the kiss, running his tongue along Richard’s that was exploring his mouth.

Just like that, Gavin got so easily caught up in the moment, it was as though everything else didn’t seem so relevant anymore.

The kiss was sloppy & messy but filled with need. A need for an escape. A need for something to help them both to forget about the world around them.

As Gavin was pressed against the nearest wall, he couldn’t help the soft yet eager moan that escaped his lips as he felt one of Richard’s thighs pressing between his legs.

Only breaking the kiss to take a breather, Gavin’s lips were still ghosting against Richard’s as he spoke.”I gotta get up at some fuckass time in the morning, soo-” He purposefully lengthened out the ‘o’ sound in ‘so’ to make it sound suggestive as he pressed his hips hard against the thigh that was pressing against his crotch. With a soft gasp at the friction, Gavin finished his sentence by whispering, “Care to help tire me out so I can sleep?”

He attempted a poorly executed wink which earned a very soft laugh in response & holy fuck, was that a sound that he wanted to hear more of. Hearing something so angelic paired with the warmth that radiated from Richard’s hands from where he was holding his hips, managed to relax the tense muscles there. It had Gavin slowly beginning to forget about how stressful his day had been.

From one motion to the next, the pair found themselves kissing one another messily against every available surface, fumbling at each other’s clothing until they tumbled less than gracefully into Gavin’s bedroom & onto his bed. 

The sex didn’t last long, but it was exactly what both men needed. 

Heated kisses paired with murmurs of empty compliments & before Gavin even realised it, once Richard was back from cleaning himself up in the bathroom, he was curled up against Richard’s chest, wearing the black shirt that the gangster had discarded earlier & was quickly falling asleep to the sound of Richard’s heart beating.

With a pained groan, Gavin reached for his spare pillow to press it over his face as his alarm from his phone roused him from the first peaceful sleep he had managed to get in fuck knows how long. The sound grated harshly against his ears & fuck, he had forgot to actually change the alarm to something less fucking wailing after purchasing his new phone.

_Get the fuck up, Gavin._

_You got shit to do. Get up._

_Get the fu- wait_.

Flopping the pillow back to its rightful place beside him, Gavin slowly sat himself up with a wince, rubbing his eyes before he blinked them open & properly glanced around his bed. 

Empty.

An unwelcome sadness filled his chest as he stared at the ruffles in the bed sheets where Richard had been sleeping. It was way too fucking early to be longing for some fucker who didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye but here he wa-

Gavin’s thoughts came to a halt as he turned to switch off his alarm & noticed a small note sitting beside his phone on the notepad he kept beside his bed. He quickly shut off his alarm & picked up the pad.

_Red,_

_If I could stay to see your eyes open first thing in the morning, I would. But duty calls, after all. Let’s not leave it a month this time around. Thank you for a wonderful night, I needed it._

_I have borrowed one of your larger sweaters so I did not have to disturb you & ask for my shirt back. _

_~ Yours,_

_R. Wolf._

_P.S: You should find a better hiding spot for my gun._

Gavin couldn’t help the stupid fucking grin that tugged at the corners of his lips as he stared down at the perfectly cursive script that was written on the small notepad. Of fucking course Richard wrote in flawless cursive - with how the man spoke so smoothly, it only seemed fitting for it to be transferred into his writing too.

He read the words & reread them, letting them cycle over in his head in Richard’s smooth as silk voice. Then, the image of Richard wearing _his_ clothes popped into his head, it being far too stubborn to budge & yeah, he’d be thinking about that one for a while.

He promptly pulled the page from the pad so he could keep the note safe before awkwardly reaching over the side of his bed. Gavin checked the dresser drawer he had hidden Richard’s gun in. Lo & beyond, it was gone & all of his clothes were still perfectly folded. _Sneaky bastard._

After unenthusiastically dragging his ass out of bed - definitely not creepily drawing in a deep breath through his nose after burying his face against his shoulder to smell the lingering scent of Richard’s cologne that sat on the shirt he had stolen - Gavin showered. He changed into his own clothes & made his way sleepily to his car with thermal mug full of coffee in hand.

A short drive later & Gavin made his way into the precinct. Despite the decent amount of sleep he got, he couldn’t shake the tiredness he was feeling; his head was aching & his limbs felt heavier than usual. 

“Reed!” 

Gavin winced as the name reached his ears, echoing around his head far louder than it had been called. He felt almost as though he had a hangover, it was strange. He felt… _off._

He downed a few strong gulps of his coffee like his life depended on it. It was only when Gavin felt the warm liquid finally begin to revive his organs, did he turn in the direction that he was being called. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be mad as he saw the SWAT Captain leave Fowler’s office & head in his direction.

“Oh, hey you.” Gavin mustered up the kindest smile he could given how he currently felt like crawling beneath his desk & falling asleep for a week. 

“Hey yourself.” Allen smiled, clapping Gavin on the shoulder in a friendly manner before using the same hand as a way to guide him towards the precinct’s inbuilt gym. 

Gavin followed along willingly, albeit slowly given how hard he was trying to ignore the pain in his hip that flared up far more than he would have liked to have to deal with this early in the morning.

“How was it, getting back out in the field? I told ya all that training we did together would pay off.” The man asked.

Gavin was grateful that he clearly didn’t look quite as shit as he was feeling. If he did? Allen chose not to mention it with the knowledge that it would only put Gavin in one of his infamously grouchy moods.

Although, when in the Captain’s company, Gavin always found it so easy to have a smile on his face. The guy just radiated such care & genuine interest in Gavin’s well-being, it was difficult to not show his appreciation for that fact.

The month that Richard had ghosted him, just so happened to be the month that Gavin also needed to keep his head on straight to pass his gun retrain. 

He had every intention of using a firing range & training on his own against shitty paper targets as if it were still 2018. But then Allen caught wind of it, likely through Hank & had offered Gavin use of the firing range & obstacle course that the SWAT team often used to keep up with their own training & team building skills.

Every few days throughout that month, Allen would drive them to the range where he’d help Gavin train so he could better prepare for the real test. He never pushed Gavin too far, never chastised him for his mistakes or mishaps & overall became not only a mentor, but a friend.

In gaining his new friend, Chloe had been very proud at seeing Gavin coming out of his shell a little more. She had even been bold enough to point out that Gavin genuinely seemed a little happier on the days where he got to spend half of it with Allen.

“It was okay.” Gavin finally answered, pausing a moment before he continued. “I got a murder case I still need to fill out the damn paperwork for though.” He paused again, letting out an over-dramatic sigh as he rolled his eyes. “Startin’ to think it was self defence though. I dunno, gonna have to look more into it.” Gavin finished with a casual shrug.

He quickly cursed at himself in his head. Was he really about to stoop low enough to consider himself a dirty cop? No, he wasn’t fucking dirty. Richard killed the man in self defence, he saw it with his own eyes… sorta. 

Allen let out an amused chuckle at Gavin’s disgruntled behaviour regarding his paperwork as the two came to a halt near the entrance of the gym. Gavin leaned against the wall, sipping at his coffee as he looked up at the man. He could see the way the Captain’s features saddened as he caught sight of the hickeys that were littered along his flesh where his jacket hood didn’t quite cover. Maybe what Tina said about the guy having a crush on him was true-

“So, uh, what did ya want me for? Some friendly chit-chat or did you actually need me?” Gavin mumbled from behind his coffee cup, wrapping his other hand around it too so he could steal as much of its warmth as he could.

“Don’t sound so put off, Gav, c’mon.” He playfully punched Gavin’s left arm & received a poorly stifled wince in return. Gavin quickly covered it up with a fabricated smile, waiting for the Captain to continue.

By the subtle furrow in Joseph’s brow, Gavin figured it was safe to assume that the Captain caught onto the wince but again, chose not to show his worries incase he annoyed the detective.

“Alright, so one of my guys is out on leave. He has a kid to look after which means I’m a man short. Now, no pressure because we don’t need that spot necessarily filled for what we’re doing, but I already spoke with Fowler & he said it was fine because-”

“Allen!” Gavin interrupted as he rolled his eyes at the SWAT Captain’s rambling. “I got a headache, man, just tell me what you want.” Upon realising that his voice sounded far more pointed & douchey than he would have liked, he tried to make up for it with a faint smile from behind his coffee cup.

He didn’t mean to come off so harshly, especially not to Allen of all people, but he really did feel like shit & wanted to go slouch at his desk as quickly as he could.

“Right, sorry. We’re doing a minor weapons trade bust in South Detroit later. Did you want in? It’s minor so it doesn’t require you to have passed the physical. All I need is you to be able to hold a gun & look intimidating. Everything goes right & we’ll be out of there in no time. Criminals in cuffs, guns destroyed & our undercover man is free. And you-” Allen grinned cheekily, “-get to see if you like the gals & guys enough to hang out with us full time.”

There was that offer again. It floated around & taunted him with the life he could have if he wasn’t so obsessed with trying to find the person who was behind the Cyberlife killings. At this point, after everything he’d been through, Gavin owed it to both himself & his brother to figure out who it was.

Besides, when he finds the bastard, he had one or two things he wanted to ask. 

The subtle, off-pink hue that crept across Gavin’s cheeks was something he couldn’t help upon hearing the offer. He put on a thoughtful face for a moment, his index finger mindlessly tapping against his coffee mug. 

“And if it goes wrong?” He mused, eyeing the SWAT Captain curiously.

“Huh?”

“You said ‘everything goes right’, what if everything goes wrong?” 

This is where Gavin quickly learned the difference between Richard & Joseph. 

Where Richard seemed way too confident in every situation he walked into, acting as though he had already accounted for every action that would or would not happen; Allen knew that there was always a chance for the unpredictable to take place.

“Well, that’s the thing; we never know how these things might play out. But, we are doing this to keep innocents safe. Besides, Gav, we’ve had our guy undercover for months now. He has finally set up a deal with these pricks with mafia ties. It’s _hopefully_ gonna be simple.” Allen murmured, lowering his voice so only Gavin could hear. Although they were alone, one could never be too careful.

Allen took a second to contemplate his wording, before he spoke again. 

“Not to manipulate ya or anything, but if you say yes, I’ll do that paperwork for you-”

The way Allen spoke that last sentence, his voice was playful & void of any malice. Gavin could tell that he was serious by the look in Allen’s eyes but at the same time, the man was in no way trying to force Gavin into an uncomfortable situation. 

“Yeah, I know manipulations & I can tell you’re not doing that.” Gavin said & as if by instinct, one of his hands came up to rub at the hickeys on his neck as he smiled sadly at the Captain. “Sure. I’m in. Let me know what time the briefing is & I’ll be there. Only to get out of the paperwork.”

“Only to get out of the paperwork.” Allen echoed with a grin. “Get your ass in my conference room by 6:00 P.M sharp. From there, we’ll get you all geared up & then we’ll head out. It’ll be a long drive but the deal won’t be until after dark anyway.”

With a nod & a toothy grin, Gavin held out his fist & Allen bumped his own against it. It was a habit they had taken up doing after each training session & it had just stuck. The Captain mirrored the grin that Gavin gave him before heading into the gym & leaving Gavin to get on with his day. He only managed to get a few steps before Allen popped his head back around the gym door. 

“Oh & Reed?” He called, returning to using ‘Reed’ rather than ‘Gav’ now others could hear them conversing.

“What’s up, Cap’?” Gavin asked as he glanced over his shoulder.

“Left something on your desk for ya. Feel free to ignore ‘em but I don’t know, figured it could help. Now get back your ass back to work.” With that, he winked before disappearing, leaving Gavin to linger for a moment to see whether or not the captain would return. Once he was sure that he wasn’t going to get called once again, he headed to his desk with a curiosity causing his feet to pick up the pace to see what the hell the man was on about.

As he made it to his desk, he was certain that he felt his heart swell at least four times the size as he caught sight of what Allen was talking about. 

Heat patches.

Gavin slumped into his chair & his pathetic pride cycled through his mind, trying to convince him that he didn’t need help from someone who didn’t fucking get it. With that thought eating away at his mood until only the inedible, bitter parts remained, he shoved the heat patches into his desk drawer with a sad sigh.

The next few hours of his slow as fuck shift went as follows: he contemplated texting Richard on multiple occasions but found himself unable to figure out what the fuck to say to a guy who he wanted to both tell everything to & keep everything secret from. The man sure did know how to stress him the fuck out in that regard. 

Then, he sat through an oh-so-boring therapy session with Chloe that mostly consisted of him trying to convince her that Hank was overreacting. 

Sure, when he was in the car with Hank, he was scared as shit but right now? Yeah, he felt like fucking garbage & coupled with the lingering dull headache he had, Gavin knew something wasn’t quite right. He was getting sick, he could _feel_ it. 

But when he was actually sat face to face with her? It was so difficult to tell her that something felt wrong. Maybe it was the inward fear of being made to sit in another fucking Cyberlife lab for fuck knows how long until they figure out what’s going on that stopped him.

Once convincing Chloe that he was simply too stressed was over with, Gavin was back on his usual bullshit of moping around the precinct to avoid actually filling out his paperwork until the pain that flared up in his hip became too unbearable to handle. 

The heat patches that he had stuffed into his drawer were quietly calling his name, begging for him to stop being such a stubborn prick & accept the help. So, he did. Gavin made his way to the bathrooms, placing one of the patches over his left hip, adjusting his clothing again before he made his way back into the bullpen to get through the rest of his day until 6:00 P.M rolled around.

Although the pain still lingered around, he was entirely convinced that not even the strongest of painkillers could ever fully quench it, Gavin found the heat patches did do _some_ help to un-tense the muscles along his hip. This in turn helped with his mobility so he could place more weight on his left leg which meant he didn’t have to limp around the precinct like a kicked puppy. He made a mental note of having to repay the favour to Allen as a thank you once they both had matching days off.

Then, he finally text Richard.   
  


[G. Reed Oct 05 5:20 P.M]  
  


_‘Cant believe I spent hours tryna decide how to txt u. Thnx for the note this morning - Nice to see u didnt forget bout me.’  
  
_

Gavin was half expecting to either not get a text back for literal weeks even though Richard said he didn’t want to leave it another month, or receive one that told him to politely fuck off. The reply he did get however, was not at all what he was expecting; but that seemed to be a running theme with Richard.  
  


[Dick (Wolf) Oct 05 5:21 P.M]

_'Forget about Gavin Reed? Not a chance. I do apologise that I could not stay. I do wish we were together. If you have a free moment, call me. I miss your voice.’_

So he did. With a blush splashed across his cheeks right to the tips of his ears, he dialed Richard’s number probably far too quickly & headed out for a cigarette break as they spoke on the phone together.

“Fuck, you really know how to make a guy blush, y’know that? Don’t you have shit to do?” Gavin had asked as soon as the other end of the line picked up. He leaned against the brick wall to the side of the precinct as he sparked up his cigarette.

_“Not until this evening. I had a few conferences to attend this morning however, which is why I could not stay. Thank you for calling me, today has been rather boring.”_

Gavin scoffed. 

“Yeah, you’re telling me. You only talking to me because you’re bored? I should be offended.” 

_“You know that is not what I meant. I did not want to leave you this morning, Red, you looked so peaceful. You are quite stunning, especially with those bruises along your neck.”_

Gavin had to quite literally restrain himself from moaning down the phone as he heard Richard intentionally use that sultry voice that the bastard knew got him worked up in no time at all. At least he could blame the cold weather as to why his cheeks were bright red.

“Babe. I’m at work-” Gavin mumbled quietly into the phone as he nursed his cigarette down to the filter. He shifted his positioning every so often against the wall as Richard continued to tease him down the phone.

Gavin made it clear that if he didn’t stop, then he’d have no other choice than to go & jerk off in the precinct’s bathrooms & that would be low, even by his standards. Richard however, only agreed to stop his teasing when Gavin threatened that he’d hang up the phone & block Richard’s number _before_ the man even got to hear him.

So, for the next twenty-five minutes, the pair spoke about nothing in particular. 

There was a warmth filtering through Gavin’s chest at simply hearing Richard speak. No manipulations, no talk of the life he led that Gavin would rather keep out of. No, he simply spoke about pointless things such as Gavin’s love for cars that he had not forgotten about, or how he’d like to show Gavin the view from his office if the detective thought he could brave being that high up. They even got onto the topic of vaguely speaking of Gavin’s Italian heritage & his love for Italian food. From there, Richard promised a date. An actual fucking date.

“Shit, I just noticed the time. I got a work thing in a few minutes, it’ll probably have me out until super late. Uh, don’t go breaking into my apartment to wait for me, alright? Be a normal person & text me & I’ll tell ya when I’m on my way home. Wait, how did you get past the security guy?”

_“I killed him.”_

“Rich-”

_“Gavin, I am joking. I flirted with him.”_

“That’s not much better.”

 _“You really are something else entirely.”_ Richard let out a soft, warm chuckle from the other end of the line, causing Gavin to grin at the angelic sound. _“_

_Besides, I did not break in, that would involve breaking the locks. I simply bypassed the security measures, let myself in & set them back to the default settings you had them as. What do you take me for, Red, a petty criminal?” _

Gavin couldn’t help the rough bark of laughter that escaped his throat. The warning sirens in his mind were blaring at him to walk far, far away & never speak to this man again, but then he came out with ridiculous shit like that which just kept roping Gavin in further. 

The thrill of the unknown, it was one hell of a drug.

“Definitely not a petty one. You are a pretty one though.” He paused to hear the soft huff of amusement from other line & counted it as a win. “Whatever. Don’t ‘bypass my security’ again.” He mimicked, putting on a stupid tone as he copied Richard’s wording before continuing with, “It’s creepy & I might have to arrest ya.”

_“So you would not arrest me for murder. But hacking into your Cyberlife branded security systems is a no? I do believe you have a skewed belief of the justice system, Detective.”_

“Shut your fuckin’ mouth or I’ll shut it for you.” His threats were empty, paired with the smirk that was so evident in his voice, he knew Richard would be enlivened at best. 

_“Now that, I’d like to see happen. I do believe you had a, as you put it, ‘work thing’? I best not keep you. Although the thought of keeping you all to myself is very tempting.”_

“Fuck, yeah, you keep distracting me by saying shit like that! Okay, I _really_ gotta go, thanks for this. Uh, I guess I’ll see you ‘round.” Gavin rushed, taking a second to pull his phone from his ear to check the time. Yep, he had to be in the conference room literally like three minutes ago.

He just barely made out Richard saying, “I'll see you soon” before the phone line was cut. 

In a similar fashion to the morning, that subtle sadness began to snake its way around his heart & squeezed until his chest felt both tight & empty at the same time. The unknown had a drug like high tied to its thrill but with every high, there came a low; a low that consisted of a strange, vacant feeling sitting in chest every single time Richard left. Because there lay the fear of not knowing when the hell he was going to get to speak with the man again. 

It had long since turned from day to night by the time the SWAT team had got themselves prepared. They sat through the briefing, after which, Gavin got all geared up in the SWAT uniform before they headed out. They drove down to the south-side of Detroit & set up their positions around varying abandoned warehouses that lined the edge of a large lake near where the deal was supposed to take place.

As he waited for the deal to take place, killing time, Gavin thought back on something that had happened right before he left to head out with the team.

Hank had pulled him into a stupidly tight bear hug that managed to be crushing even through his Kevlar gear, then the lieutenant ruffled up his ever disheveled hair. That paired with the humble, “I’m proud of you, Son” from the man had Gavin feeling something that he had never experienced before. 

He had never had to deal with the embarrassment of parents ruffling his hair after he did something like getting good grades back when he was in school as they were never there. So up until that moment, he hadn’t known that it was like to feel truly _shy._

He couldn’t decide if he hated it completely or whether it was a welcoming feeling of acknowledgement; that somebody out there actually gave a shit about his well being. But before he had the chance to properly psychoanalyse himself, the sound of boots crunching on the graveled ground dragged Gavin out of his thoughts.

He peeked through the crack between the stacked oil drums that he was hidden behind so he could better see if it was finally time to not be distracted by his wandering thoughts.

Narrowing his eyes, Gavin watched through the gap as a sleek, black car pulled up to the scene. A tall man dressed in all black bar for a white blazer stepped out, followed by two other men that had their backs in Gavin’s direction. He could however, still see that they were armed, clearly ready to protect the man in the white blazer.

The undercover cop who Gavin had been given a rundown on earlier held his shoulders hunched, wearing a scruffy coat, matched with a pair of jeans & an off navy-green cap to look the part of a guy who just wants to get his money & go. His name was Rupert, if Gavin remembered correctly.

A chill wind whistled through the air. It rattled the weak framework of the smashed windows on the warehouses & created an eerie, ambient background sound. Thankfully, it also worked as an easy way to mask if the SWAT team made any accidental sounds whilst hiding throughout the warehouses.

By the way a sharp pain was beginning to creep through his left knee, Gavin knew he had been crouched for a while. It was crawling its way up towards his hip & he was almost convinced that his pain knew he was doing something important. Like the mobster pricks they were watching somehow knew he was there & his pain was trying its damndest to make it so he had to move, to cause a sound that would inevitably give away his otherwise secure position.

But his will power to not fuck this whole operation up was stronger. Gavin bit down on his lip hard enough to pierce the skin as his gloved hands gripped tighter at his pistol as he tried his best to just ignore the pain. He trained his focus on Rupert to be sure the guy was going to get out unscathed.

Everything was set out to be executed flawlessly. Communications were all set, once the deal was done, Gavin was to leave with the undercover cop along with Andreas - one of the SWAT team’s newer members - who was to his immediate left so they were to be out of danger whilst the rest of the team seized the criminals before they had the chance to escape.

Nothing was supposed to go wrong… Until it did.

There were many things in life that were so inordinately familiar that there was no way they could be mistaken for anything else; such as the distinct smell of coffee in the morning or a street vendor’s freshly cooked burgers. In the same regard, Gavin knew the definitive feeling of the cool metal of a barrel of a gun being pressed into the back of his skull.

 _Shit_. 

As he went to throw a look to Andreas, the fucker was nowhere to be seen. Gavin silently cursed himself for not trusting his earlier gut instinct that gave him the sense that Andreas was bad news.

No wonder Allen had spoken so quietly earlier. Nobody could be trusted anymore, not with the waves of violence that spread through Detroit. The Captain had assumed, just like Gavin did, that at least the team could be relied on. Clearly, that was not the case.

“You better drop that fucking gun right now, Reed.” Andreas’ voice filled his ears & despite his tone being barely audible to anyone outside of them, Gavin could hear it clear as day.

Swallowing back his nerves, Gavin instinctively glanced up to the warehouse rooftop where he knew one of the SWAT’s snipers had set up on the off chance that things were going to go haywire.

“Oh, you think he’s got your back?” Andreas muttered in a mocking tone & all Gavin could do was watch in horror as he saw a man sneak up behind the sniper, knife gleaming against the natural light being cast from the moon, ready to slit the sniper’s throat. 

“No!” Gavin yelled right as the sniper had the knife being held to his throat, but it was already too late. “You fucki-” His sentence got cut off, morphing into a pained groan as Andreas smacked the butt of his DPD issued pistol against the back of Gavin’s head.

Fuck, he had been pistol whipped far too many times for his own good. 

A hot, pulsing sensation blossomed from the impact sight, each beat of his heart ringing through his head & acting as an unsavoury reminder of its rapidly climbing rhythm.

Before the detective had the chance to regain his bearings, his pistol was ripped from his hands & tossed aside where it clattered against the ground, too far out of reach for him to even bother attempting to lunge to reach it.

He was then dragged up into a standing position, Andreas manhandling Gavin so his hands were placed behind his own head. 

“Fucking walk, Asshole!” The dirty cop spat, jamming his gun against the back of Gavin’s neck as he shoved the detective forward - into view of everyone surrounding them.

Blinking back the fuzziness that sat around the edges of his vision, Gavin didn’t exactly have any other choice than to slowly limp towards where the man in the white blazer & Rupert were just finishing up making their ‘deal’.

“Where the fuck is Allen?” He muttered through gritted teeth as he limped towards the armed men. A hundred & one different scenarios ran through Gavin’s mind. He had no fucking clue who else was compromised, or if anyone who wasn’t dirty was safe.

All he could get his mind to focus on was the thought that hopefully Captain Allen had been set up far enough away from anyone else who could have been dirty so that he wasn’t hurt too. 

Wait. What if Allen was dirty too? Fuck, fuck, _fuck!_

“Oh, he’s fine. You don’t think we’d be dumb enough to kill a fucking Captain, do ya? No, he’s just taking a power nap. He’ll have no idea any of this has happened.” The way Andreas spoke with such a pathetically crafted conceited tone, it had Gavin’s blood torn as to whether it was boiling or running cold.

Still, he was sure that the colour had drained from his face & if the look that Rupert had given him as he glanced in the detective’s direction was anything to go by then it simply affirmed Gavin’s suspicions.

The poor fucker couldn’t hide the look of absolute fear that crossed his face, even in the shitty lighting. No fucking wonder these pricks knew he was a cop! Gavin could have done a better job & he was, well, he was Gavin for fuck sake.

By the way none of the men who had stepped out of the car earlier bothered to glance in the direction of the sound of boots on gravel, Gavin couldn’t help but assume that they must have known this whole thing was a setup all along.

All Gavin could do was watch as another one of the women he recognised from Allen’s SWAT team appeared from the shadows.

She snuck up behind the undercover cop, booting him in the back of his leg so he had no choice than to fall onto his knees with a strangled yelp. 

Gavin was shoved down onto the ground far too roughly beside the cop that was now on his knees. He pathetically found himself grateful that he was wearing gloves so the gravel didn’t cut into his hands, as if that was even remotely close to being the right thing he should have been concerned about.

Now he was close enough to Rupert to see the face beneath the shadow being cast by his cap, the detective could see that the poor kid was no older than twenty-eight at best. His brown eyes were glassy as they stared at Gavin, mouthing a silent apology.

Two hands roughly pulled Gavin up from beneath his arms to he too, was on his knees. Being the idiot he was, Gavin yanked his body free from the hands that were on him so he could place his own hands behind his head. He didn’t need some fuckass to help him with that. If he was going to surrender, it was going to be because he felt as though he had no other choice; not because some prick made him do it.

That earned him his first kick to the ribs. Fucking _ouch._

He didn’t dare look up to the men that he was kneeling before, so he kept his eyes trained on the ground with his fingers interlocked behind his head as he focused on drawing in slow breaths so he didn’t end up having a panic attack in front of his executioners. Now that would have been awkward.

He continued to calm his breathing, his brain running through each scenario where he could get Rupert out alive. As each second passed though, his brain tauntingly reminded him that the probability of success was dropping further & further.

“What the hell is this?” An unknown voice chimed from somewhere in front of him, far too soft to be a god damn mobster, Gavin passively thought. The voice of Andreas piped up immediately after.

“Some prick on Allen’s side. The fucker ain’t one of us, he ain’t even SWAT! Just some detective trying to get his nose in our business.” As he said that, Andreas shifted around to face Gavin, maliciously grabbing a fistful of his hair. He holstered his weapon & before Gavin could even process what was happening, a fist was colliding right against his nose. The punch elicited a grunt of pain mixed with a ‘fuck’ from his lips.

Andreas then leaned in close, murmuring right against Gavin’s ear as he pulled out the knife that was attached to Gavin’s gear, “You know what happens to people who know too much?”

“We get good grades?” Gavin quipped as he glared up at Andreas who was blocking his view from seeing the other men. “Oh do tell, Asshole, as you can see, I am _dying_ to know.”

“You sure have some confidence for someone who’s about to die.” Andreas smirked, his voice void of any emotion. Yeah, fuck this guy. Gavin should have decked him the second he saw him glaring at him from across the briefing room.

There was nothing but mania flaring in the man’s eyes as he flipped Gavin’s knife in the air before catching it again. He let go of Gavin’s hair & the detective bowed his head once again, swallowing thickly as the realisation began to sink in that he didn’t have any weapon now. Not that a knife would have been much good against multiple armed guards.

Just to add to his ever growing list of reasons as to why he was a fucking dumbass who had clearly not learnt his lesson from when he was being held over that rooftop those few months ago, Gavin muttered sarcastically, “there’s a difference between confidence & arrogance, you do know that, right?”

That was where he earned his second boot to the ribs in the same spot as last time. Sure, the Kevlar he was in protected his chest, but that left his ribs open to this prick’s steel-toe capped boots. This time, however, he couldn’t stifle the rough, throaty cry of agony that escaped his mouth. His ribs felt as though they were exploding into flames. An arsonist meticulously setting each nerve alight & reveling in the pyre that it left its wake.

Andreas was quick to get back behind him, his hand tangling its way back into Gavin’s hair. He yanked Gavin’s head back as he pressed the blade against the detective’s throat, leaving Gavin with no other choice than to look up at the gangsters that stood before him. 

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes & even though they were glassy from the natural reaction his body had from being punched in the face just a few moments prior, Gavin somehow knew those tears were not from the physical pain. Not from his nose cracking beneath knuckles. Not from the feeling of the blade currently being pressed hard enough against his throat that it was beginning to draw blood. No.

The tears that welled in his eyes? 

They were from seeing a familiar pair of stormy grey ones staring right back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did illustrate what Gavin's (& Nines') scars look like in this verse, so if you'd like to see how I imagine them to look then you can check that out [here](https://bandolierbandit.tumblr.com/post/190107305427/i-wanted-to-illustrate-how-gavin-nines-look#notes) !!
> 
> Thanks for reading this far. <3


	6. Trip Switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin witnesses Richard in the life the gangster leads outside of A9 Genetics. Richard has to get Gavin out of it, but at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for all of the wonderful comments on the last chapter, every single one has made me smile.  
> Second, I just want to put a quick content warning here to let you all know that this is a very angst-filled chapter with no happy moments. So, assuming you have read this far, you are okay with angst, but this may be the saddest chapter yet. The next chapter will be much lighter, I think.  
> Without spoiling it too much, there is a fair amount of violence & Gavin suffers. A lot. Gavin also ends up in a very negative headspace near the end, so please take caution if that could upset you.  
> Oh, & the POV switches a little & if it wasn't already obvious, Nines' POV is shown by him being referred to as 'Nines' but when it switches to Gavin's POV, he is referred to as 'Richard'!  
> Besides that, happy reading. <3

Richard, Cain & Connor Wolf were the handsome faces of A9 Genetics. Three identical triplets who served as the company’s public image while their mother stayed in the shadows. No one knew she pulled their strings like a sick puppeteer whilst behind closed doors. Together, all four of them had hands in various illegal trades; they lived in a whole other world, leading completely different lives that most ordinary members of the public were entirely unaware of.

Whilst a part of the criminal underground; Richard went by Nines, Cain by Sixty & Connor, well, he never chose another moniker. Nines & Sixty took to their double lives like ducks to water, they revelled in the carnage & power that came with it. Whereas Connor, he was the more soft spoken sibling, the outlier which was strange considering it was he & Sixty who were the actual brothers.

It hadn’t always been this way.

In the beginning, there had only been Connor & Cain, two identical twins that Amanda had adopted when they were young. She had long since left Cyberlife & set up her own company, A9 Genetics, & there had been no double lives & no criminal empires they were in control of. 

It had not taken her long to achieve her goal of successfully cloning a live subject, but cloning animals only sated her quest for power for so long. What Amanda really wanted was a means to preserve her knowledge & since using an AI to do so was off the table, she wanted to clone _herself._ She could have so easily passed on her knowledge to her sons when they were old enough; but the truth was, Amanda despised them & as far as she was concerned, they were not worthy of having such a gift bestowed on them. 

Animals & humans were two wildly different things & Amanda was anything but stupid. 

She would kill two birds with one stone; refine her cloning process & in turn, create a son she actually liked. Cain was too volatile; too angry & hostile with the constant need to be right no matter the circumstance. Connor was Cain’s polar opposite; too calm, too kind. If Amanda could combine both of their DNA somehow, splicing their genes & taking parts she actually liked from the two of them whilst whittling out the rest? She could create the perfect son; one that would be easy to control and willing to _obey._

Amanda started by primarily using Cain’s genes. She meticulously duplicated his DNA for months until she finally found a way to clone his body. 

That first success had been just that & nothing more. A body - no mind, no essential identity, simply a corpse. Just a dead copy of an unruly teenager. Amanda had not been expecting a living clone in her first attempt, just the simple knowledge that she was moving the right direction was cause enough for celebration.

It was not until the sixth clone did she manage to make it survive; complete with cognitive functions. It was something that was finally alive. 

After months of painstaking work, of meticulously refining her process, she had finally created a whole new Cain. 

That was until the clone ‘mysteriously’ died a day later, before it even had the chance to live.

Amanda knew who had killed her creation.

“I could make sixty attempts at fixing you but all would fail!” 

She had confronted her most unruly son, had screamed in his face, had so desperately wanted to punish the cocky little shit but didn’t want to damage Cain’s genetic material. 

Much like how the flap of a butterfly’s wings could cause a storm halfway across the world, Amanda’s words were the butterfly & Cain, well, Cain was the storm.

Coining the name ‘Sixty’ for himself from his mother’s cruel words, Cain turned his back on her. He left, abandoned both his brother & Amanda in one swift stroke & left everything else behind when he went. He didn’t want to live in Amanda’s controlling shadow, forced into a line of work when he so desperately wanted to forge his own. Plus, he was done being a test subject for his mother’s maniacal whims. 

Cain had only been a teenager, his twenties barely around the corner when he’d left. He wondered for weeks, lost & afraid, fighting tooth & nail to survive on the streets in one of Detroit’s most dangerous areas. But eventually, he met a man with two different coloured eyes. He picked him up one day, took him under his wing & roped the afraid teenager into a world of money, corruption & weapons.

Cain _loved_ it.

The man with the mismatched eyes took Cain’s hostile attitude but will to be a survivor & molded him to be the perfect weapon against those who dared cross him. Cain truly became Sixty & not just because the name lingered from one of his mother’s cruel taunts. 

Sixty became the hitman of a man who he only knew as Markus. The only thing Sixty knew about him was that Markus was following in his father’s footsteps. To the public eye, they were wonderful painters with kind hearts & warm smiles, but in the criminal underworld, they had an empire & were notoriously known for the gun shipments in & out of Detroit.

It was the type of life Sixty wanted to lose himself to, that seemed to fit him almost as though he were made for it.

Connor had stayed behind for a short while when Cain had disappeared. Even though they were such opposites, it tore him up when Cain had left & with fearing for his brother’s well-being when the unruly sibling never returned after a few days had passed, Connor set out to find his brother.

He had even made a promise to their mother, that he’d go out & find him & bring him back if he were able; but Amanda didn’t care. At their mother’s reaction, Connor couldn’t help but feel as though perhaps Cain was better off wherever he had vanished to. Perhaps they both were, but Connor was too by the book to entertain that idea for very long.

They were a _family_ & families needed to be together.

It took Connor months of tracking; months of venturing the streets & scouring Detroit’s criminal underground until he finally found his brother. 

Cain was truly changed. His dark hair now blond - he was Sixty now; never to be compared to or mistaken for Connor again. He revelled in his anger & hate, thriving in the violence of the world that he had now surrounded himself with. 

He was free.

When he first found him, Connor had ran & hugged his sibling, but as Sixty’s new life became apparent, Connor couldn’t help but feel a twisted sense of responsibility. He saw the people that Sixty had surrounded himself with now & they were somehow both better & worse than their mother that he had left behind. 

Knowing that he couldn’t let anything happen to his brother, Connor decided he was going to stay.

That’s how Connor also found himself being willingly dragged into the mysterious world of Detroit’s criminal underground.

The two of them disappeared out of the life of their mother for years. They grew from teenagers into adults; forging lives free from Amanda’s schemes. They were taught all the tricks of the trade; how to survive, to build connections, how to command power & to demand respect. They were soon running illegal weapons trades & drug deals like it was second nature.

Markus & his group that were often referred to as Jericho had taken them in. They became their family. A true family; where they had each other’s backs & nobody was treated as unequal.

Connor & Sixty grew to trust them with their lives.

Sixty killed & he enjoyed it, mainly it was whoever crossed them. Whilst on the sidelines, Connor did all he had to, to be sure his brother didn’t get caught. His charms & natural puppy dog eyes actually came in handy. He cosied up to the cops, even made nice with a police lieutenant & used that friendship as a way to keep his sibling safe.

Unlike his brother, Connor had actually tried to keep in contact with Amanda. After he had gotten back on his own feet, he began to visit her on her birthday each year. He continued visiting her even when she made it expressly clear that she didn’t care much for his company & had made it abundantly clear that she thought Connor had abandoned her for his lost cause of a brother.

It was not until early 2026 that Connor decided to visit outside of Amanda’s birthday. For what reason, Connor wasn’t sure. If he were anything like Cain, he would have gloated of the life they had managed to build & the power they had acquired along the way that had nothing to do with her.

When he did come back, Amanda cared even less than she ever had previously. It was not until entering her office one day that he found out why.

It was sat at her desk. Quietly typing away on a laptop with a pair of thick, black rimmed glasses sitting on its face. But even behind the frames, Connor could tell what it was. _Who_ it was.

Amanda had finally managed to create the son that she had been dreaming of. It both looked like him & didn’t; Connor also saw Cain’s influence in whatever was sat before him. 

“It took me nine attempts, Connor, but I finally did it. I took you & your sniveling excuse of a brother & combined your DNA into what you see before you. I took everything I desired from you both & whittled out everything else I deemed… undesirable. He is Number Nine & he is his own person. He is perfect & is truly my son.”

So the woman had finally crafted a son that would never leave her. A son that she could mold, manipulate & control because it didn’t know any better.

“He is faster, stronger than both you & your selfish brother combined. He is more resilient, has a stronger immune system which makes it so he isn’t easily susceptible to illness. He heals far more quickly than you or I, he is everything that a human being should have been. Well, _almost.”_

Connor never did learn what Amanda meant by almost.

The clone finally moved, looking up from where it was sitting behind the laptop screen. It stood, face impassive as it made its way over. The clone stopped in front of him & offered its hand to shake. Cool, silver-grey eyes bore into him from behind the glasses before Connor finally pulled himself from where he was staring & gingerly shook the hand that was offered to him.

“You must be Connor. Mother much prefers you.” The clone stated with such bluntness that Connor couldn’t help but laugh.

The laughter didn’t last long though.

Connor was quick to learn that Amanda was serious, so Connor had to force himself to adapt. Just as he had adapted to the lifestyle Cain led. 

It was not fair to keep calling the clone an ‘it’. They were fully their own person after all. So, after clarifying pronouns, Connor crafted him a name, since he was the ninth attempt, Connor decided to call him _Nines._

Even though Amanda had tried to craft him into being as impressive & superior as possible, Nines did love finally having a name, something that finally felt truly his own. That much was clear to Connor when he saw the tiniest of micro-smiles on the otherwise impassive face when the name was spoken.

After learning that Nines had been cooped up in A9 Genetics for the whole of his short life thus far, spending his time between their mother’s office or the lab where he was literally grown, Connor took it upon himself to teach his ‘youngest brother’ everything he could.

He split his time between keeping an eye on Cain, who continued to forge forward their criminal empires in Connor’s absence & Nines, who he took under his wing & taught about the life they led outside of Amanda’s control.

To say Nines was curious about that life was an understatement. So one day, behind Amanda’s back, Connor took Nines outside. It was the first time he had truly been outside of the company building but Nines didn’t care. He wasn’t afraid, he was fascinated. All he wanted to know about was the life, that to him, sounded like a fairytale.

To someone who had only known white lab walls & could only see the city from a top floor office window, everything Connor had explained was _freedom._

However, when Nines & Sixty met, to say Sixty hated Nines was yet another gross understatement. But, much like when you introduce a new kitten into a cat house, Connor worked with his twin until he begrudgingly accepted his new ‘sibling’. Cain only doing it for Connor’s sake.

Despite only existing for a short period of time, Nines was anything but naive. He revelled in their double life. Much like a curious cat, Nines wanted to learn about as much of that life as he could. 

Nines had tasted a life free from the controls of Amanda & before he returned to her, he forced her to promise to welcome all three of them back as though they had never left.

Amanda, not wanting to lose the one son she actually felt anything for, resentfully agreed.

It had been decided that all would be forgiven & they would use A9 Genetics as a front, acting as a cover for the empire they had forged. The allure of power had also been too great for Amanda to ignore & now, all four of them were involved.

A true family run business. Amanda stayed in the shadows & the three siblings adopted double lives. Sixty, albeit begrudgingly, allowed himself to be called Cain once more whilst on company time & Nines slowly adopted the name Richard.

Nines was the only one Amanda would truly listen to. The only one who could reason with her. So, Sixty used that to his advantage. Through Nines, he got Amanda to treat him with more respect. Sixty had done the polite thing & asked Nines of course, so in return, Sixty did the only thing he knew how. He taught Nines everything _he_ knew about the criminal underworld & the trappings that came with it. So now Nines not only had Connor’s knowledge & thoughts on the life, but he had Sixty’s too. 

The pair made an unlikely duo & Connor found himself looking out for two reckless siblings instead of just one.

When Nines had killed Brittney’s old boss, that’s when things changed however. To say Nines had not felt the allure of violence beforehand would have been a lie, he was also crafted from Cain’s DNA after all. That man’s murder acted as the catalyst that truly seemed to unlock Nines’ affinity for the act. The bloodthirsty part of Cain that had been inside of him all this time, hidden deep under lock & key was now free.

That need for violence stemmed from the part of Cain that Amanda had not been able to eradicate, no matter how much splicing she’d done. Nines was his own person, sure, but he was built on strong foundations & it seemed they were too strong to ignore.

Amanda, of course, blamed Sixty for everything. But, she was smart. Instead of using it as a set back, instead of scrapping Nines & starting again, she’d hone Nines’ anger & violence into a weapon that she could use to take down Cyberlife. Figure out what made them tick so A9 Genetics would never fall into Cyberlife’s shadow again.

She crafted the siblings into the perfect trio.

Connor, Cain & Richard Wolf. The three near-identical triplets that, to the media, had been reunited after years of separation & were running their mother’s company. A9 Genetics quickly began to thrive in their cellular science field, they furthered the understanding of DNA & the genetic make-up of the human race which led to their spectacular work on creating cures for various diseases.

The media were charmed by the trio, just as they were charmed by Elijah Kamski, the CEO of Cyberlife.

But, behind the scenes, behind all of the bravado & charms, the empire that the trio led together was secretly being used to start tearing into Cyberlife from a different angle & Nines was the spearhead. Violence & chaos coursed through his very being & he often found himself convinced that he was simply just reinforced to think that way based off of what he was told of his DNA.

The more time Nines spent in Sixty’s world, the more glued to it he became. People began to fear him & he thrived off of it.

He thrived off of knowing that he owned every single room he walked into, whether it was through fear or respect, he found that he didn’t care. All that mattered was that he always got his way & nobody was ever going to take this life from him. Not even Amanda.

Nines knew that without blood being spilled, the world in which he inhabited simply would not work. Nothing good ever came to those who waited, Sixty had told him. One had to go out there & steal, kill or charm their way into getting what they want. He was not an honest man, he, along with his siblings, were the outlaws of the modern world & Nines believed that nothing could take that away from him in his ten years of ruling every room he walked into.

_Until now.  
_

The gangster’s finger tapped impatiently against the side of his pistol that he had retrieved from the detective’s home as he waited for Andreas to finish playing with his new punching bag.

The image he saw before him reminded him of when he had ‘let himself into’ Gavin’s apartment. He had watched with a sick, bemused interest as Gavin’s cat sadistically pulled the legs from a helpless spider. A mindless act of violence simply to terrorise the creature before its inevitable death. Cruel & utterly pointless but nonetheless, part of the life they led.

He entertained himself with the thought of the similarities between himself & a cat. Nine lives included.

Nines’ hands were clasped neatly behind his back, pistol between them, his finger now wrapped around the trigger, poised & at the ready as Andreas moved to stand behind the two men that were knelt before him.

The sight before him had his thoughts crashing down into the volcano in which all of his emotions lay dormant. It was threatening to erupt - to cause cataclysmic damage to all of those in his immediate vicinity. All because he saw someone holding a knife to the detective’s throat.

 _His_ detective.

Sure, he & Gavin had not spent too much time together outside of Gavin’s bedroom, but Nines had been watching him for a long time before their first interaction at the gala. Nines had grown attached to this particular man. He wasn’t even so sure why, which was a dangerous, slippery slope seeing as he was always so certain of everything. But Gavin? Gavin was a shimmer of hope amongst the darkness that was his life & he was growing addicted. _Fast_.

The only people he ever came into contact with were thieves, killers, liars & bad, oh so very bad men. But Gavin was _different._ Gavin was good. He didn’t know why. All he knew was that Gavin had cheated death more than once & maybe that was what made him an angel that walked amongst the living.

Everything Nines had ever known was bad & he could feel something deep within him, something that twisted around his gut. It left a sour taste in his mouth each time he had to do something to hurt the man. Gavin made Nines want to be better & that thought _frightened_ him. 

The gangster could see the way that Gavin’s eyes were all but glued to him, watching his every move with a scrutiny that similarly mirrored their first night together after the gala.

Such a pretty little thing & oh so clever, Nines thought to himself. He just knew that Gavin had already taken in his surroundings & was planning an escape route in his head. 

Nines wasn’t fooled by Gavin’s glassy, angelic eyes that stared up at him with a silent pleading. He knew the detective was smart & he narrowed his own dastardly eyes in response, the action anything but angelic. Much like a predator inspecting its prey.

“Take that knife from his throat. _Now_.” Nines finally pulled his eyes from his darling detective to glower directly at Andreas. 

He could not resist the smirk that tugged at the non-scarred side of his face as he watched Andreas visibly rearrange himself. However, the man still didn’t move the knife that was slowly cutting into Gavin’s flesh. Under the dim lighting, Nines could just barely make out the blood that was slowly beginning to drip from the blade - its colour seemed darker but was likely a trick of the light.

Andreas was testing Nines’ patience & Nines found him itching for any excuse to put a bullet in the man for not listening to a direct order.

“But, Sir! He ain’t one of us!” Andreas spoke up, poorly trying to hide the way his voice shook with an all too conveniently timed cough. 

He pressed the knife harder against Gavin’s throat in the process which caused the detective to blink a few times in the hopes of keeping his tears at bay. But Nines watched as a tear escaped Gavin’s lash-line & slipped down his cheek. The gangster had to grit his teeth for a moment, mustering everything he had to stop himself from lashing out.

“You follow my fucking orders. He’s one of _my_ men, you fucking imbecile!” 

Nines spoke up in a way where he sounded simply exasperated. As if somehow, Gavin being held with a knife to his neck was just a minor inconvenience. He saw the hurt that flashed through those gorgeous emerald eyes at his choice in tone, but it was going to have to be the price he paid to have his henchmen believe him. 

The dangerous flare that sat in his tone was finally enough to have Andreas reevaluate his actions. The second that the knife was removed from Gavin’s throat, Nines watched as the detective let out a heavy breath that he likely didn’t even realise that he was holding.

“Criminal leader of a fuckin’ bloodthirsty mob! Your mother must be so phckin’ proud!” Gavin shouted angrily as he went to stand from where he was knelt. Nines was mere seconds away from admiring the sheer balls that Gavin possessed, or was it pure lack of self preservation? Either way, his admiration was promptly interrupted.

Andreas’ boot quickly collided with Gavin’s face with enough force to have him crashing back down to the ground, straight onto his back with a strangled cry of pain.  
  


The sheer agony that was pulsing through too many parts of his body was too much for him all at once to properly regain focus. Gavin found it more & more difficult to fight off the quickly growing nauseous feeling in his gut, the feeling that it would have simply been better if he had never made it out of that Cyberlife lab.

Everything hurt. All the time.

Gavin’s right shoulder took the brunt of the impact thankfully, that much he was sure of as his gloved hands came up to quickly wipe at his face, trying to hide as much of his purple blood as possible that streamed out of his nose. No way was he about to let any of these fuckers see _that._

The detective swallowed down the blood that was pooling in his mouth & this definitely wasn’t the first time he was thankful that his gag reflex was practically non-existent, but it sure was the most grateful he’d ever been for it. 

Refusing to let that asshole have the satisfaction of seeing him get knocked down, Gavin bit down on the inside of his cheek. He channeled the pain into one spot as he rolled himself over onto his hands & knees, allowing more blood to drip from his mouth; watching with bleary vision as it created a little puddle on the gravel, painting the tiny rocks in varying shades of purple. Fuck if he was ever going to get used to _that._

 _'Fall down seven, get up eight, Gav. C’mon.'_ Captain Allen’s words from one of their training sessions ran through his mind.

It was in that moment that Gavin felt the pure betrayal at the very simple fact Richard just chose so stand there, not bothering to intervene & _help him_. He spat out more blood & ran his tongue along his teeth to make sure they were all still in place before wiping his mouth with his gloved hand.

“You should really keep your fucking mutt on a leash, you egotistical prick. I ain’t one of your lap dogs, Wolf.” Gavin muttered angrily through his teeth. Seeing Richard in front of him had blown everything wide open. Gavin couldn’t even be sure if ‘Richard Wolf’ was the man’s real name. Had anything the piece of shit said been real up to this point? He couldn’t help as his thoughts raced & it made that nauseous feeling grow & fester until it began to crush in on him.

“You got a lot of nerve, Reed. You think Ni-”

Gavin prepared himself for another blow to his side from those bastard fucking steel-toe capped boots that he was sure had already cracked one of his ribs. Instead, a gunshot rang through the bitterly cold air & caused Gavin to physically jump.

For the briefest of moments, he was sure that he was the one who had been shot, his body was in that much agony. It was almost impossible to tell if it were possible to hurt any more than he already did.

But the body that fell onto the ground right beside him was, pun intended, a dead giveaway that he was in fact, yet again, somehow still alive. Whatever Andreas was going to say, Gavin was likely never going to find out. Not that it mattered in that moment anyway.

Gavin scrabbled to push himself up from his hands & knees, ending up sitting back on his heels as he stared at Andreas’ dead eyes. They eerily stared back at him as deep red blood trickled from the gunshot wound in his forehead.

 _Fuck_.

Gavin drew in a few much needed breaths as he tried to stop his head from spinning. He wiped at his nose & mouth yet again, wanting to be sure none of his blood would be visible to the people around him before he dragged his eyes away from the fresh corpse to glare directly up at Richard.

The criminals that surrounded him & Rupert didn’t dare make a move or speak, even as Richard killed one of his own. It had Gavin finally fucking understanding why the man was so fucking cocksure about every goddamn situation he was in. It was because he _owned_ every situation he was in.

Not tonight. 

Gavin was going to make it out of this & get far, far away from these shitty fucking warehouses. Right now though, the only thing that mattered was getting Rupert to safety before the kid fucking passed out from how terrified he looked. How the fuck did he survive months undercover?! Gavin was going to have to ask when they weren't within the imminent threat of being riddled with bullets.

 _Fuck_. Allen was somewhere here too. 

Gavin struggled to fight off the sinking gut feeling as the thought passed through his mind that Allen had already been killed just like that sniper on the roof had been. No. Joseph was stronger than that. He was a survivor just like him. He was okay. He had to be.

As carefully as he could, Gavin slowly shifted a little on his knees, giving a fabricated wince as he did so. If Richard even gave the slightest fuck in regards to his well-being, he hoped his wince & scrunched up features would be enough of a distraction as he used his boot to shimmy his knife that Andreas had dropped closer to his body. Gavin was holding his right hand limply, slightly behind his back as his left came to rub at his shoulder to over show how much it fucking hurt to have landed on it.

“As you can see-” Richard began, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear, “-I do not take kindly to those who cross me. That… _mutt_ did not listen to me. He was unruly & has created a mess that now _I_ have to clean up.” 

The way Richard spoke, it had something rather unsettling sitting uncomfortably in his stomach. Maybe it was the fact that the man was referring to Gavin as a mess, which sure, he knew he was. He was more than just a mess, he was one hell of a fucking disaster. But, there was just something about how Richard acted as though it was some inconvenience to deal with said fucking disaster.

“Now, imagine my disappointment in learning that this man-” Richard continued, he finger ghosting over the trigger, as if anticipating the moment where he got to pull it again. “- has been undercover & crossing me for months.” 

Right as he finished his sentence, the gangster jabbed his pistol against Rupert’s temple. The poor fucker squeezed his eyes tight shut at the feeling, tears rolling down his cheeks as he made a pathetic, helpless sound.

_Think, Gavin. You moron._

Fuck, fuck, _FUCK._

_C’mon, if anyone can distract him, it’ll be you._

“Hey, fuckhead!” Gavin spat, trying to buy as much time as he could before Richard got fucking trigger happy again.

As he shouted that insulting name towards the man, Gavin shifted just enough to reach his right hand back. He stretched out his fingers to desperately pull the knife closer so he could grip it, gritting his teeth as he grabbed it by the blade. Yeah, thank fuck for the gloves he was wearing.

“Leave the kid alone! He was just doing his fucking job! Just like you were doing yours when you climbed into my bed, huh?! Your fucking lackeys know about that?!” Gavin chose his words carefully, being sure to cause as much damage with them as possible. He wanted these fuckers to know that he didn’t work for Richard & he never fucking would. If Gavin just swallowed his pride & played along, sure, that’d mean he’d get out safely. But his safety meant nothing if Rupert had to pay the price.

“Do you honestly believe me getting close to you was anything more than just business, _Reed?”_ Richard snapped back. Gavin could have sworn he heard an emphasis on ‘Reed’ & it had him shifting uncomfortably on his knees. Like somehow Richard _knew_ it wasn’t his real last name. 

Gavin had his suspicions, of course he fucking did, nobody as gorgeous as Richard would pay any mind to him of all people. But the way the dipshit treated him with such… Well, he wasn’t sure how to explain it. Richard saw past the scars, he saw past the anxieties & the hurt that made up Gavin’s very core being & saw him for, well, him. So hearing those words straight from the devil’s mouth? Fuck if hearing those words didn’t make something hurt, a little more than it should, inside of him.

“Sleeping with a detective? That’s a new low, even for criminal scum like you. You really think I’d play your fucking game? Be a dirty cop for you, _Richard?_ I know all about you.” Gavin spat, all bravado as he tried to cover up his feelings, intentionally putting just as much emphasis on Richard’s name as the man had with his. He didn’t know if his lackeys knew his name or not but he needed to use whatever he could to gain a momentary advantage.

That seemed to do it. So, ‘Richard’ was a front after all.

Gavin took the gangster’s momentary distraction of having to tell his men to refrain from shooting Gavin to lean closer to Rupert. “Please, I’m begging you to not aim for a lethal blow.” He whispered. He wasn’t sure why he wanted Richard to live through this; there was just a part of him deep down that loved the man despite everything, it was there & he hated it. He knew Richard could be better. Fuck if feelings were anything but a fucking disaster.

He pressed the handle of the knife into one of Rupert’s hands & the pair exchanged a look of understanding. Although they had never met before, the shared glances & ever so subtle head nods were enough to show a simple comprehension between one another.

Rupert swallowed loud enough to have Gavin flashing him a sad smile as he mouthed him a ‘thank you’. Turning his attention back to the gangster that was focusing on them both once again, Gavin's left hand ever so slowly came up to wipe at his nose one last time. He wanted to be sure that none of his blood could be seen. Maybe he was paranoid given it was so dark, nobody could properly tell, but he had every right to be.

“Well, at least your other pets seem to have more self control than that other prick did.” Gavin muttered angrily from behind his hand, intentionally trying to antagonise the gangster. But, it was clear that no matter what he said, Richard wasn’t going to falter. He seemed almost entertained by Gavin’s antics & finally, fucking finally, Rupert found his voice.

“Please…” He murmured in a meek voice as Richard’s gun returned to his temple. The cop tipped his head enough to look up at Richard’s face. “Just…. Let us go. No, l-let _him_ go. Why are you doing this?”

His voice wavered with nerves that Gavin couldn’t quite tell if they were from looking at the gangster in the eye while being held at gunpoint or from knowing what he was about to do.

Either way, his words were exactly what was needed to have Richard leaning in close so he could murmur, “Because, my dear little _rat_ , you are merely a pawn in a game that is so much bigger than you could ever fathom. You are simply collatera-”

The end of Richard’s sentence was swallowed up by the sound of a pained grunt from the gangster & a gunshot echoed through the air.

Warm blood splattered across Gavin’s face as he tackled Rupert’s side in the exact moment the cop swiftly stabbed the knife right into Richard’s abdomen, being sure to angle it so it would miss the man’s kidneys. Gavin knew for a fact that the guy could have gone for Richard’s neck or easier, the femoral artery in his thigh. He had put a hell of a lot of trust into the kid to listen to him & he had, even though it meant Rupert had to suffer too.

Right as his own body slammed into Rupert’s, Gavin was convinced that he had yet again, somehow clicked the slow-motion button on the world’s remote control.

“Fuck, fuck, Rupert?!” Gavin’s eyes darted around as his mind began to construct the best path that would not only hide them from the imminent & very impending danger as they were being quickly surrounded, but also from the sniper that had taken the spot of where the SWAT sniper had been situated on the roof. For now, they were thankfully not in clear view of said roof. 

Thank fuck for that, at least.

Gavin pressed two of his fingers into Rupert’s neck to feel for his pulse & thank fuck, the kid was still breathing. For how long, Gavin couldn’t be sure, he wasn’t even sure where the fuck Rupert had been shot. He scrambled to his feet, pulling Rupert up with him by the hood of his coat & all but yanked the younger cop with him as he stumbled behind one of the large shipping crates that was near the river’s edge. 

Yelling could be heard from somewhere behind them. They had to move. Gavin had about thirty seconds to make a decision on what to do before they were both dead.

Blood was pouring from the wound across the side of Rupert’s jaw, even with his hands pressed against it to try & minimise the amount of blood loss. His widened, terrified brown eyes were staring right at Gavin in pure shock.

“Adrenaline is your friend, buddy, you’re gonna be fine.” Gavin panted out through a heavy breath as the world slowly began to catch up to him. He could hear the shouting & yelling far more clearly now. The mobsters were arguing between saving their “boss’s” life or following after the two of them. 

If he were not mistaken, Gavin swore he heard Richard telling someone to leave them out of it & just get the goods safe before any other cops show.

The splitting headache that came out of nowhere had Gavin clawing at his hair, hissing in pain through his teeth as it blindsided him. “Fuck, fuck, n-not now! Fucking stupid-argh!” He groaned out in agony as he desperately fought against the pain that was searing relentlessly through his mind.

The detective slowly raised his head from where it was bowed, swallowing back another pained groan that was trying to creep up from his throat. He knew his nose was bleeding again, this time from the headache, not from the fact he had been both punched & booted in it.

The headaches were killing him. Gavin could _feel_ it. He was dying, albeit slowly.

“R-Rupert?” He staggered close to the cop, one of his hands gripping onto the man’s shoulder for not only support for himself but also for Rupert, who looked as though he were about to pass out from either the blood loss or the pain, which one though, yet again, Gavin couldn’t be sure. 

“Listen, b-bud, I ain’t gonna-” He stopped & grit his teeth as an overwhelming dizziness washed across him. It was intent on dragging him into a dark abyss & locking him inside to leave Rupert to fend for himself. Gavin pushed aside the realisation that he isn’t making it off of the river’s edge any time soon & murmured, “You’re gonna find Elijah Kamski, okay? Y-You’re going to find him & you’re going to tell him Reed sent you, you hear me?”

His sentences were beginning to slur, the pain in his head making it practically implausible for him to focus enough on not having his words jumble themselves together, but Rupert’s subtle nod told him that he was following.

“G-Good. He’ll f-fix you right up. He… He has a knack for fixing things.” Gavin let out a weak laugh, gesturing to the purple blood that was dripping from his nose. 

He knew that Rupert needed a hospital, but if the kid had any sense, once he wasn’t bleeding out all over himself, he would find a way to get in touch with Elijah. The secret code word being ‘Reed’. As soon as that name was uttered, _almost_ anyone could get into the heart & brains of Cyberlife.

Gavin made hasty, clumsy work of pulling off his Kevlar vest & helped Rupert into it so the kid would have a higher chance of getting out without being shot in the back. Thankfully, in Rupert’s shell-shocked state, he didn’t put up a fight over who should be wearing the Kevlar gear like many cops would. There was no time for the ‘your life is more important than mine’ bullshit.

“While they’re distracted… _run._ Don’t look back.” Those were the last words Gavin said to Rupert before he drew in a deep breath & prepared himself for the next sequence of events.

Gavin wiped the blood from his nose for what felt like the hundredth fucking time that evening & limped out from behind the crate with both of his hands held above his head in surrender.

From what he could see through his bleary vision, all but five men had dissipated, either to get their precious fucking guns to safety or to scamper off before other cops showed. By the sirens that could be heard as a faint background noise, Gavin got the sense that Allen must have been okay & called for backup. Fuck, that’s all he could rely on thinking about because he had no fucking clue what he’d do if Joseph were dead.

“D-don’t shoot!” Gavin shouted as loud as his garbled speech would allow.

After hearing someone shout ‘he’s over there!’ followed by a mess of mumbling voices, Gavin made a feeble attempt to blink through the bleariness to try & make out who it was who was coming straight for him. 

He relied on his other senses as his fuzzy vision constantly swam in & out of focus, he could vaguely make out the sound of Rupert shuffling from behind the crate, ready to dash for his exit. It was quickly masked by the sound of Richard’s voice filled with an ire that was downright terrifying. “Find the rat! Leave this one to me.”

Richard strode closer at a quick, confident pace & Gavin could make out that one hand was pressed over his abdomen, the other holding his pistol. All he could do was pray to whoever-the-fuck that Richard still had a slither of humanity somewhere buried beneath the bravado of being a god forsaken mafia kingpin.

Yeah, Gavin really knew how to fuckin’ pick ‘em, apparently.

He could hear the water of the river lapping at the edges of the ground he was standing on, the abandoned buildings creaking as the winds picked up & they matched with the sound of Richard’s pristine fucking shoes on the gravel as the man marched up to him. Fuck.

Before Gavin even had a second to react, Richard’s hand that was pressed against his abdomen came up to grab Gavin’s upper arm in a vice tight grip & he marched them towards the edge of the warehouse lined docks.

“Nice little trick you played back there, _Detective_. You ruined my freshly pressed blazer, do you know how fucking expensive this material is to have drycleaned?” Richard spoke through his grit teeth. 

Gavin was struggling to tell if the man was really just _that_ mad about his stupid, white blazer or if he was gritting his teeth through the pain of being literally stabbed. Either way, he was fucked.

“Y-you really only care about your dumb fucking blazer?!” Gavin spat as Richard shoved him, tears pricking at his eyes at the man’s apparent lack of concern over him. He stumbled over his feet, but Gavin managed to quickly rectify his stance. He glanced at the angry waters below momentarily before returning his gaze to the gangster.

He stared into those crystal eyes that were glaring right at him & suddenly, it wasn’t Richard he was looking at, it was someone else entirely. He looked angry, _deranged_.

Richard’s bloodied hand came to a rest on Gavin’s shoulder & his other hand gripping his gun just a little bit tighter. Only then did reality begin to weigh heavily on Gavin’s shoulders at what was going to happen next.

This was it. This was how he was going to go out. Not by hellfire or jumping in front of a bullet to save an innocent’s life, no. Gavin was going to be executed by a mafia boss he’d been stupid enough to fall for & have his body dumped in a river. 

The amount of bodies that he had witnessed being pulled out of the fucking thing over his years as a detective was something that always managed to baffle him & not for a second did he think he would wind up as just another murder case for some poor sack of shit to solve.

All he wanted to do was give an opening for Rupert to escape. Then, he was going to work out how the fuck he was going to find Allen’s ass & get himself to Cyberlife to see if Eli had any fucking idea what was going on with these… _killer_ headaches. Gavin bitterly chuckled to himself at the shitty pun.

“Do you think this is funny, Detective?” Richard’s ice-cold voice cut through his thoughts & brought him back to the present. Gavin couldn’t help the ever so faint smirk that toyed at his lips as he realised that _this_ was his way to give Rupert his opening.

Maybe he was jumping in front of a bullet to save an innocent’s life after all.

“It’s just funny that the Big Bad Wolf caught me. Guess I wasn’t the huntsman after all, huh?” Gavin swallowed, eyeing Richard’s gun as the gangster raised it to line with his chest. 

“Goodbye, _Red_.” Richard murmured with an ever so slight hitch in his voice & if Gavin’s bleary vision wasn’t fooling him, he could have sworn that he saw a slight glassiness to those grey eyes. Or maybe that’s just what Gavin wanted to believe before he got fucking shot dead.

Right as Richard’s finger wrapped around the trigger, the gangster hastily moved the gun & pulled the trigger at the same time, so rather than the bullet hitting Gavin in the chest, it hit him square in the shoulder instead.

Gavin’s eyes teared up at the nickname & agony blossomed through his shoulder, spreading to his chest as his other hand came up to instinctively put pressure on the wound he had just sustained. His gaze dropped to his hand for a moment before looking up at those fucking stunning grey eyes.

He hated them. He hated that he loved them so fucking much when all they ever did was cause him pain.

Before he had the chance to do anything, before his blood had a chance to seep through his fingers, the hand that was on his other shoulder gave it an ever so gentle push & that was all it took to send Gavin tumbling off the edge.

As Gavin stared up at those grey eyes that matched the shade of the freezing waters he was about to fall into, he watched in helpless terror as his brain re-envisioned them as emotionless, brown eyes & for a split second that felt like an eternity, Gavin felt as though he was being thrown off of that rooftop all over again.

Rather than hitting the unforgiving concrete, hands zip-tied behind his back so he couldn’t even reach out in a desperate attempt to grab onto anything, this time, he could reach for something, _anything_ to grab onto. One of his hands found that stupid fucking white blazer that Richard was wearing & grabbed onto it. Gavin refused to let go as the currents dragged him under and they were both engulfed by the ice-cold waters of the Detroit river.

As selfish as it was, in that moment of pure panic, Gavin knew that if he was going down, he wanted Richard to go down with him. It was his goddamn fucking fault either of them were plummeting into those icy depths in the first place.

As the cold hit right into his bones in mere seconds, panic truly settled in as he let go of, no, as Richard was yanked away from him & all at once, the reality of the situation slammed into his body like a fucking freight train.

Gavin could vaguely make out muffled shouts & somewhere in the midst of it all, he could have sworn he heard Richard’s voice, raspy & angry as he shouted, “Let me back in!” followed by somebody else, a voice far softer but still shouting back, “You’ll freeze to death! He’s gone!”

Then, there were a few beats of silence followed up by gunfire. Why was there always gunfire?

Funny how even though Richard was the one that pulled the trigger, letting go of him still felt as though Gavin were letting go of his lifeline. Why was it that Richard seemed to be the only thing that made sense in amongst the chaos that was his life?

Richard somehow made things better. Even when he was making things worse. It was intoxicating.

In Gavin’s mind, Richard being at the epicentre of the chaos had the fallout being less severe. He knew that Richard had made the conscious decision to shoot him & now that he had thought about it, he knew that there was no other way he was going to get out without being shot in the head by one of the gangster’s fucking lackeys. 

Sometimes, one had to hurt someone to save them & weirdly enough, Gavin understood that. But that didn’t mean this whole fucking mess didn’t hurt.

Richard was the only one that could have pulled him out of the frozen abyss that he was sinking further into & now he was gone too.

Gavin’s whole body felt as though it was on fire & freezing all at the same time. The pain was crawling throughout his shoulder & spreading across the centre of his chest, his lungs screaming at him as his throat closed to refuse entry to the water that was pushing against it.

He could fight it, he knew he could if he used the very last of his rapidly dwindling adrenaline. He could swim to the top & drag himself onto the concrete that was slowly inching further & further away.

He could. He knew he _should._ After all he had been through, after all it had taken to put him back together again, he found it rather pathetic to die at the hands of anyone other than himself.

But, the sound of sirens were louder now, albeit muffled by the water. Help was _right there._ Which meant Rupert was going to be fine. So was Allen. 

Was that gunfire he heard earlier from the cops? Or was it Richard’s men? All he knew was that Richard had been pulled out of the water. Pulled away from _him._

That just left him swimming with his demons. Or was it more apt to say drowning with them?

This time, his life was in his own hands & it was his choice to sink or to swim & quite frankly, he was fucking tired.

The burning in his chest was unbearable paired along with the agony in his shoulder. He watched the blue & red flashing lights get progressively darker, his head feeling as though it was going to implode at how long he’d been fighting off the most natural act of all: breathing in.

His mind slowly began to wander. Naturally, it gravitated towards a fond memory he had; of when he & Emma had spent last Christmas at Eli’s place. Tina stayed for the week too & they had gotten into a snowball fight near Detroit River & Gavin had slipped, falling into the water. 

Although Gavin could swim & at the time, even though she was only eleven years old, Emma had immediately dived in too with every intention of saving her dad or die trying. She had a big heart in that way & Gavin had to wrap his arm around her & drag them both to the surface. They were promptly ushered into Eli’s place to get into warm, dry clothes, the two of them with hot cocoa, sitting by the fire together as Tina reminded them both of how stupid they were.

Gavin didn’t even have the heart to be mad at Em. He had no clue where her purity came from. She had a heart so big that even if it was broken by the cruelty of the world, she’d still give pieces of it away to anybody who showed her kindness. It both terrified & amazed Gavin all at once.

She had Eli & Chloe. She was going to be fine. As Gavin finally gave in to the agony of his lungs begging for air, he mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ into the abyss that was closing in around him & inhaled water at the same time.

That was the weird thing about drowning. It seemed like when you finally gave in & took that breath that you knew would kill you, that was when everything stopped hurting. It wasn’t so scary now that his head didn’t feel like it was splitting open & just like that, with Emma in mind, he allowed the darkness to consume him.

He blinked his eyes open & Gavin’s hands flew up to pat along his chest & shoulder. No pain. No gunshot. _Nothing_. 

“You alright there, Red?” A soft voice - _Richard’s_ soft voice - filled his ears & he looked up from where he was staring down at his hands, chest rising & falling heavily.

Richard turned to face him with a kind smile sitting on his face, one of his hands holding onto Emma’s. Gavin looked around as he tried to catch his breath & found he was surrounded by trees; their bright red, orange & yellow leaves creating a blanket across the ground on which they were standing on. The sun bled through the tree branches & soaked the man opposite in warm, honey shades.

It felt like _home_.

All he could do was slowly nod his head in response to Richard’s earlier question, watching as Emma let go of Richard’s hand so she could begin collecting the prettiest looking leaves. He admired the way she seemed to only be interested in the red ones.

Taking her distraction as an opening, Richard stepped up to Gavin, resting his hands gently on Gavin’s hips as his cool eyes sparkled beneath the autumn lighting. They didn’t fit this setting. Those greys matched darkness & storms. Not sunlight & warmth. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Darling? You look a little pale.”

 _I’m fine._ That’s what Gavin wanted to say, but as he opened his mouth to speak, no words came out. His chest felt tight, as if something was stopping his words from escaping his throat. _That was a lie, I’m not fine. Something is wrong. Where are we?_

“We’re in the National Park, we promised Emma we would go so she could see a deer, do you not remember?” Richard’s brows knitted together as he stared down at Gavin. 

Gavin stared back, trying to figure out how Richard knew exactly what he was thinking; his confusion only heightened when he realised Richard didn’t have his scar. Reaching up with a shaky hand, Gavin traced over the skin along his own nose & down his cheek. It was smooth. No scars either. 

“This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?” Richard spoke again, but this time Gavin took a clumsy step back as his eyes darted around before finally settling back on Richard, who simply matched his action by stepping closer.

Gavin tried to open his mouth again, adamant on getting his words out this time even though he had no clue what it was that he wanted to say. But as he went to speak, it felt as though he had been punched right in the centre of his chest which caused him to begin coughing.

Each time he attempted to suck in a breath, it was as though his body denied it & it only caused him to start coughing more, like he had to get something out of his lungs before he could speak. Gavin fell to his hands & knees, desperately trying to get even the tiniest slither of air in his lungs but to no avail.

He felt his arms give out & Gavin slowly rolled onto his back. He stared up at the sunbeams that were filtering through the trees as his throat cried at him & his chest pounded again, liquid fire coursing through it with every beat of his heart.

He tipped his head as he coughed, chest still pounding as he tried to catch a glance of Emma but she was gone. So was Richard. 

Slowly, the sky began to grow darker & the trees disappeared into a backdrop of black & he could have sworn that he heard Emma’s voice pleading, “Please wake up,” before everything faded to, well, _nothing_.

All he was left with was a heavy pounding pain in his chest.

“Please wake up. No, no, shit, Gav, fuck, c’mon, you stubborn bastard!” 

The words were muffled, but he could make them out. Who’s voice they belonged to though, he couldn’t say. They were faintly bouncing around his head, tugging at the conscious parts of him, trying to knit those parts back together so he would wake up. But his eyes were so heavy. Everything was too heavy.

There was a faint pressure on his neck. Then, it was gone.

“Gavin, I swear to god if you die, I am going to kill you! P-please wake up.” 

He felt a thud on his chest; hard too. Followed by another, then another. All in perfect synchronicity with the last.

“This isn’t really how I wanted to kiss you but, fuck, you leave me no _fucking_ choice.” 

Then, his head was tipped back & he was vaguely aware of lips pressing against his. Huh, weird. Richard was gone. Who was here?

Someone was forcing air into his lungs, he wanted to thrash & to push away. To do anything to get away from the wretched sensation. He hated it. Why couldn’t he do anything? It disappeared & after a moment, there it was again, that air being shoved into his lungs that were already full. Why did they feel like th-

A dull yet excruciating pain erupted through his chest as that voice spoke up, broken & cracked at the same time, “God f-fucking dammit, Gav! Wake up, you selfish prick! You really gonna leave me behind?! Leave Tina? & _Emma?!”_

Gavin’s eyes snapped open as he attempted to suck in air but that was quickly replaced with him being rolled onto his side, spluttering & coughing up all of the water that had turned his lungs into tiny swimming pools. It felt as though the weight of the world had smacked him right in the centre of his chest, hard enough to quite literally punch the water out.

It was like before, when he was lying on the ground that was littered with leaves, but this time, he could actually suck in the air & his lungs were grateful.

He vaguely registered that there was a hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles between his shoulder-blades as he coughed until his throat was raw, until there was nothing but dry heaving left. Nothing but an emptiness sitting in his once-too-heavy chest.

“Thank fuck.” There was that voice again, less broken this time around, but a little more frightened. “G-Gav? You with me, bud?”

Heaving in heavy breaths, Gavin made a slow attempt to sit himself up, despite all of his limbs feeling like they were not his own. Like a dead weight. He opened his mouth to speak, tried to get his words out, but it felt like he had swallowed razor-blades & the words refused to escape. 

Two sturdy hands were on his upper biceps, helping him into a sitting position before whoever it was came to kneel in front of him.

Gavin blinked a few times in an attempt to push aside the haziness in his vision but it was almost as stubborn as the pain pumping through his shoulder. He could vaguely make out a pair of vivid green eyes studying him. _Allen_. He was alive.

Why did his shoulder feel so-

“You’ve been shot.”

 _Oh._ Right.

“We need a medic ov-” Gavin’s left hand flew up to the man’s mouth, clamping over it before Allen had the chance to finish his sentence. The action took every ounce of energy that he had left & his hand fell from Joseph’s mouth just as quickly as it had been placed there.

“P-Please…” Gavin barely managed to rasp out, his voice wheezy, begging & almost silent as he dropped his eyes to look at his black shirt. With his all black gear being drenched from when he was in the water, paired with the darkness of the night, it was almost impossible to make out that his blood wasn’t red.

“Gav, you’re going to bleed out, you fucking moron! Stop being so stubb-”

Once more, Gavin managed to cut Allen off, but this time, it wasn’t because he had covered his mouth, but rather because he had ever so weakly managed to pull off his gloves before rolling up the sleeve on his left arm.

He grit his teeth together as he looked at Allen through heavy eyelids, eyelids he was struggling to keep open. Allen watched as the nanites that made up Gavin’s skin slowly began to recede, revealing the white & blue chassis beneath.

“Help m-me..” Were the last words that tumbled from Gavin’s lips, slurred together before his eyes slipped shut. He was unable to fight against the overwhelming tug of unconsciousness that took hold once again.


	7. Blood Runs Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin wakes up back in a room he hates with one of the only people he thinks he can trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also known as the chapter where Gavin probably cries for 90% of it.
> 
> I am always so bad with in between chapters, I feel as though I am never writing enough for them, even though they are quiet, they are imperative for the plot to move forward. With that being said, I hope that you enjoy this chapter & the big bastard AKA Richard will return in the next one.

_“The mind of the subject will desperately struggle to create memories where none exist…”_

_Barriers to Trans-Dimensional Travel_

_~ R. Lutece, 1889_

“Elijah. No. No fuckin’ way am I letting you do that to him! You’re talking about his brain! You know he won't forgive you!”

“Do you want him to die, Lieutenant? Last time I checked, it’s me who is related to him, not you!” 

“Don’t fuckin’ pull that card with me, you selfish prick! He may not be my child but that doesn’t mean he isn’t my son! I don’t want him to die, but don’t you think you have tortured him enough?!”

“Tortured!? I saved my brother’s fucking life, Lieutenant! I refuse to see him die when I can save him!”

“Elijah, plea-”

“Chloe? Get the lieutenant out of here & check on Joseph afterwards, please.”

The voices faded out of earshot until all that was left was a low, electronic buzzing sound that was vibrating through his spine & echoing through his head. There was also a distant yet rapid beeping sound. Was he dead? He didn’t think he was dead. Where was the hellfire? Because he sure as shit wasn’t getting any pearly gates. Then again, Gavin never did believe in a life after death. One life was enough, he didn’t want another.

He tried looking around, but everything was too dull. His eyes couldn’t figure out any shapes amongst the darkness, where the fuck had the voices come from?

“E-Eli?” Gavin rasped out. His throat was tight & his chest was so heavy that it almost hurt to breathe.

Nothing.

He felt… _wrong._

His arms & legs felt almost as heavy as his chest & it felt as though someone was drilling into the right side of his head, turning a dull ache into a very prominent pain.

Ever so slowly, he took a shaky step forward, followed by another, then another & soon enough, he was wandering through the dark trenches of, well, nothing. He held his arms out in front of him so he could feel for any walls or obstacles in his way seeing as it was too dark to see anything at all.

The drilling pain in his head built with every step he took, growing until it was too much & had him falling to his knees. He clutched at his head & tugged at his hair, as if that would somehow help to alleviate the agony he was feeling. The pain was making its course from his right temple, through his skull & down his spine.

“P-please..” He begged into the void. “I-it hurts!” As his voice shook, he screwed his eyes shut tight as tears brewed across his lash-line.

Faint laughter could be heard over the beeping. It was mocking & cruel, cutting through the pain just enough for him to be able to register the words that would shortly follow.

“Help me!” He attempted to shout in response, but just like earlier, it felt as though he was trying to speak around something lodged in his throat. His voice came out raspy & more pathetic than what he had intended.

“Help you?! Gavin, why don’t you fucking help yourself for once?! Stop wallowing in self pity!” The voice called back. It was far more cocky & arrogant but in a tone that was all too familiar. 

The voice belonged to the one person he hated most.

Behind his eyes, an ever so faint red began to bleed through the darkness. It was just enough to have him sit back on his heels & blink his eyes open. It took a moment for everything to come into focus & when it did, the red surrounded him. Cutting through all of the darkness that he had been trying to guide himself through before all the pain got too much.

The pain was still there, it was beating in his head in time with the rapid beeping sound, but the red that was now filling the room gave him something to focus on. If Gavin had to find words to describe it, it almost looked like a wall. Daunting & tall, stretching across the length of the large room that he was kneeling in.

From just beyond the translucent wall, the sound of a bitter laughter could be heard. “You’re pathetic.” That voice spat out again with sheer disgust & Gavin’s eyes were finally able to focus on what... on _who_ was standing just beyond the wall.

It was the one person he never wanted to see staring right back at him.

It was himself.

The Gavin from beyond the wall had a smirk tugging at his, no, _its_ lips. Its scruff was not out of control like Gavin’s own currently was & the scars were still there on its face. Huh. There was a faint red glow around its body that similarly matched the wall & the more Gavin glowered at himself, the more his doppelganger’s smirk widened.

It stepped closer to the wall, green eyes vacant of any compassion or care as Gavin stared up at it, eyes wide & terrified.

 _“What?_ You’re fuckin’ lookin’ at me like you’ve seen a ghost.” It spat out its words with disgust.

Every time Gavin tried to speak, it felt as though he was swallowing razor-blades. If he were going to say something, he wanted to be sure his words were worth the pain they would inflict on himself. But when he opened his mouth, whatever it was he was trying to say got lost somewhere in amongst the overwhelming confusion he felt.

The doppelganger began pacing back & forth. He pulled something from its pocket, throwing it in the air & catching it again; over & over, pacing & throwing like a caged animal. 

As it moved, Gavin spotted something lying just behind it.

A doorway.

It was faint, the doorframe nothing but a barely there outline that was just about lit by the red glow of the wall, but it was there. It was an escape, a way out. All he had to do was get to it.

Fuck.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, think, Gavin, for fuck’s sake just think._

Gavin bit down on his lip, pushing himself up from the cold, damp floor where he was sat on his heels & took a tentative step closer to the strange, wireframe wall.

“What the fuck are you doing?” The other Gavin paused its pacing mid throw, shooting an ice-cold glare right at Gavin, catching whatever it was throwing without even looking at it.

Holy fucking shit, did he really look like _that_ when looking at those he despised? The glare had a shiver run along his mechanical spine. It _frightened_ him.

Swallowing to dampen his throat, Gavin flatly retorted with, “I’m getting out.”

There was that laughter again, cold & cruel. It inspected whatever it was holding for a moment before looking back at the doorway. It then tilted its head in the same curious manner that Richard did as it looked back through the wall at Gavin with that same cold glare. “Oh, you mean over there?”

It grinned, taking a step closer to the wall too, trailing its free hand along it. Gavin watched as its fingers distorted the walls coding, only for it to rebuild itself mere seconds later. 

“That’s real fuckin’ cute. You think you have the strength to get through this? To get through _me?_ _”_ It paused & let out cold, mocking laughter, glaring at him in a way that sent an ice cold shiver down his spine. “I didn’t think you were so fucking naive.” 

Gavin slowly reached a hand out so he could mimic the other’s action & ran his fingers along the wall. He yanked his hand back as the wall sent sharp electric-like jolts through his fingertips; he hissed as he shook his hand, shaking it as though that would make the the pain go away. 

_Fuck._

“See? You’re stuck here. You’re nothing but a fuckin’ lab experiment gone wrong. You’re not even _human_ & it makes me sick just looking at you.” The doppelganger flashed its teeth, a dark grin on its face as its grip on whatever it was holding tightened. “You’re a fucking machine, Gavin! A broken fucking machine!”

“I’m not a machine!” Gavin shouted back, albeit in a hoarse, rough tone.

He threw his left fist right at the red wall & a cry of pain escaped his throat as the wall sent bolts of white-hot pain through his knuckles & straight up his arm. He pulled his fist back, blocking out the laughter he was receiving for his efforts & looked down at his hand. He watched in disgust as the nanites crawled away from the pain, leaving his white & blue chassis beneath visible. 

_I’m not a machine._

Gavin’s lips curled into an angry sneer at seeing what lay beneath his skin. He had to blink back the tears that were welling in his eyes again as he glared at his angrier, more hostile reflection. 

“I’m not a machine.” He repeated, quieter, but with more force as he punched at the wall again, the laughter only fueling his drive to escape. It fucking _hurt_. It felt like someone was trying to rip his arm to shreds from the inside out, but he had to. He had to get through, even if the wall wasn’t fucking budging.

“What are you then, Gavin? Because you sure as shit ain’t human. Blood runs red, Gavin, what fucking colour is yours?” The other version of him spat, slamming one hand angrily against the wall. 

It leaned in so its nose was barely an inch from the red wiring, its other hand coming up to show the thing it was holding, its eyes never leaving his face. Gavin studied the small cylinder that had a soft blue-purple hue radiating from whatever was inside it. It looked like a palm-sized cell battery of sorts.

“You don’t even have a human heart, Gavin! But you already fucking knew that, didn’t you?! You just want to live in denial! That beeping?! That’s your fucking heart, Gavin, if we can even call it that!” Its eyes flickered to the object it was holding as it said ‘heart’ before they focused back on him. Before Gavin had a chance to defend himself, it continued.

“You fucking disgust me! You were left to die again, but you always fucking come back!” 

It threw the object on the floor, stamping on it with all of its force.

Maybe the action shouldn’t have hurt Gavin in the way that it did, but it fucking did. He wasn’t even sure why. It felt as though someone had reached right into his chest & grabbed, well, his heart. Squeezing it until it broke into tiny irreparable pieces.

Nobody can break your heart like yourself.

Gavin had always avoided looking too hard at himself after the 'accident'. He knew that he had a mechanical spine, a fucking robot arm & half of the bones in his left leg were enough to have a metal detector frying its own circuits, blood that wasn’t _quite_ human… So a mechanical heart to keep all of that running in check wasn’t too big of a leap.

He kind of knew deep down, had been hiding from it all this time, just as he did with most things; but now he was confronted with it, that still didn’t mean it was any fucking easier to deal with.

“Fuck you, you fucking prick!” Gavin screamed as he struck the wall again & again with both hands, crying in pain as the wall essentially fought back. “I didn’t fucking ask to come back!” He cried, pushing through his tears as he continued his assault on the wall. 

Gavin only paused as he came to the realisation that the wall was only sending pains through one of his hands. His left hand felt as though it was on fire every single time it came into contact with the wall, as if it were trying to stop his onslaught. But his right one? It was fine.

It was almost as though a lightbulb triggered in his head & an ever so tiny smirked tugged at one corner of his lip. He froze, causing his reflection to sneer back. “Giving up so soon?”

Gavin simply shook his head as he looked down at his left hand & the way the chassis around his knuckles was beginning to crack, purple seeping out from between them. 

“You’re right.” He stated quietly.

 _“What?”_

“You heard me.” Gavin drew in a deep breath as he made a fist with his left hand, using his forefinger on his other hand to swipe the blood from his knuckles, holding it up to the wall. “I’m not all human. But it doesn’t matter what colour I bleed, all that matters is that I _do_ bleed. Which, means I am alive.” His raspy voice had a confidence to it he’d never heard before as he took a slow step back. 

“That’s more than what I can say about you.” Gavin stated simply before charging at the wall, but this time using his right shoulder, his _human_ side, to barge at the wireframe. 

He repeated the action a few times until the wall began to crumble around the impact sight & it formed a kind of window. He began kicking & punching, pulling at the digital bricks, anything to try & pull it all down.

That seemed to finally frighten his doppelganger, its eyes widening as Gavin began to tear down the wall. It shouted at him to stop; the more he pulled & punched at the wall, the more the red surrounding his doppelganger began to grow hazy, strings of code that surrounded it fraying at the edges.

“Stop it!” It yelled, static now lacing its voice.

Gavin simply grinned to himself as he took note of how his doppelganger was growing scared. _Good._ The sadistic part of him that was buried deep down sort of hoped that the other version of himself could feel itself being erased from existence. 

He knew of Elijah’s fascination with machines. He knew his brother had plans that would revolutionise the tech industry & Gavin was already one of those plans, he knew that. He also knew that he terrified himself, but he was still Gavin. Maybe he was Reed rather than Kamski. Maybe he was a little less human & a little more machine. Maybe so, but he was still _Gavin._

Drawing in a deep breath, he lunged at the wall with all of his force, using his shoulder to barge right through & he tumbled to the ground on the other side. He fell onto his side with a soft groan, rolling onto his back to look up at his doppelganger. 

Everything fell silent.

The pain was gone.

The doppelganger was looking at its hands now, watching as the code distorted & pulled apart. They were unraveling, slowly fading away just as the wall was crumbling away into nothing.

“What have you fucking done?!”

Gavin simply laughed bitterly, shaking his head as he ever so slowly pushed himself up from the floor. He was half expecting his hip to flare up but was pleasantly surprised when no pain came.

He glanced down at the broken cell that lay on the floor in tiny, crushed pieces. One piece was larger than the rest, having _‘-ium 310 pump regul-’_ printed across it in the perfect Cyberlife font. Huh. Sounded vaguely familiar. Not that he could pinpoint why though.

Gavin didn’t bother replying to his doppelganger with words; instead he flashed it a shit eating grin, through the tears that were still welling in his eyes for whatever reason, before slowly making his way towards the door.

His right hand rested on the handle but his actions paused as the amalgamation of code that constructed his replica shouted, “Nobody will ever fucking love you!” Its voice becoming distorted.

He knew it wasn’t real, Gavin knew it was just his inner demons trying to kick the shit out of him while he was down with words that struck right to his very core. Ignoring them however, was an almost impossible task, especially when he knew they were true.

“I know.” He whispered back, looking down at his left hand that was limp at his side, purple blood slowly dripping from it. 

A stray tear slid down his face & without another word, Gavin opened the door. It led to another empty abyss & without hesitating, he stepped right through. No matter where it led to, all he knew was that it was better than being stuck with the worst parts of himself any longer.  
  


**> UPDATING NAME**

**> >GV2//**

**> >G//VIN200R@[[D]]**

**> >GAV/IN_R~EED**

**> >GAVIN_REED  
  
**

**> UPDATING MEMORY PROCESSORS**

**> >UPDATE C0MPLETE  
  
**

**> >>>ACTIVATE DIODE**

**> >>>ACTIVATION UNSUCCESSFUL**

**> >>>ACT//IVAT~ION UN**//SUCCESS/FULL**

**> >>>ACTI//[[]]%*@SYSTEM__E~RR*OR  
  
**

**> REBOOTI@]NG  
  
**

From nothing, to everything all at once. 

The pain in the side of his head; in his hip, back, arm, across his face, _everywhere,_ returned full throttle, slamming into his body with the force of a freight train, causing Gavin to jolt awake.

_What the fuck?_

He cried out as agony coursed its way through him, setting every single fibre of his being ablaze. He squeezed his eyes tight shut as he grit his teeth together, trying desperately to breathe but nothing was working. Then, just as quickly as it had wracked his body, it dissipated into the dull, background ache that he was more accustomed to.

Well, that was a rude fucking awakening.

He very vaguely registered somebody’s voice, but he wasn’t sure what they were saying. Then, a hand ever so gently ran through his hair a few times.

Once his breathing was more settled into a steady pace, Gavin blinked his eyes open a few times in an attempt to get them to focus, but his vision was blocked. By what, though, he had no fucking idea.

Panic slowly began to settle into his bones & he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, rubbing at them a few times before attempting a second time to look around the room that he was in. A few heavy blinks later & whatever was clogging up his vision was gone, the whole room coming into crisp, perfect view.

Fuck, it was bright.

Was he always this sensitive to the light? Fuck if he knew. How long was he out for?

The detective tipped his head to gaze around the room, his brows furrowing together at just how fucking clear everything was. Sure, his eyesight was good, but it had never been this fucking good. Fucking hell.

Tentatively, he reached a hand up to feel along his jaw, a sigh of relief escaping his lips over the fact his facial hair was about the same length as he had lazily left it. Definitely wasn’t out for long then. 

“Hey there, Glowstick.” A soft voice echoed through the room, dragging Gavin’s eyes from where he had taken up glaring at the door opposite so he could look over beside him at where the voice was coming from.  
  


**> VOICE RECOGNITION: CAPTAIN JOSEPH ALLEN  
  
**

Before he could even look at the man properly, he had to press his palms back against his eyes again with a quiet groan, muttering with a very raspy, scratchy voice, “Would you fuck off!”

He didn’t quite register the apology that was spoken his way, or the feeling of the hand disappearing from his hair. Nor did he take note of the footsteps on the floor growing quieter. It was only when he heard the click of the door unlocking did he jerk his head up to glare right at Allen who was all of two seconds away from leaving.

“Cap, don’t you fucking dare lea-” He paused, swallowing in an attempt to dampen his throat so his words would come out less raspy & hoarse before trying again, “I wasn’t t-talking to you.”

Joseph seemed to visibly relax, his shoulders untensing & an ever so faint - albeit worried - smile graced his clearly worn out features. If the bags under his eyes were anything to go off, the Captain likely hadn’t slept for at least a few days.

“May I ask who you were talking to?” He asked as he slowly made his way back towards Gavin’s bed. He perched himself on the edge of it as his green eyes studied Gavin carefully, the scrutiny triggering Gavin’s self conscious fight or flight response.

It was weird. Rather than just being a faint feeling in the pit of stomach that grew & festered into the anxiety he became all too familiar with, he felt it with his whole body. It was…overwhelming. He had been so tired for so long, it was almost as though his body finally had some time to actually relax & now he could feel everything tenfold.

“I… Uh…” Gavin started, but just as when he was trying to explain how he knew who the murderer was at the Eden Club, he found himself unable to actually come up with an answer that would make any fucking sense.

_‘Oh yeah, sorry, I was talking to the fucking words in my head that keep saying shit that I don’t need to be told & they won’t fuck off.’ _

Yeah, great way to have him running for the hills.

“Glowstick?” He settled on instead, glaring at Joseph, but it lacked any real offense.

As he glared though, he also studied. He studied Joseph’s face as though he were seeing it for the first time.

The Captain had a faint scar trailing diagonally above his left eyebrow & another that tracked along his left cheekbone. They were ever so light, shadowed by the contours of his chiseled features, but now he could see them almost as clearly as he could see the ever so faint freckles along the man’s nose. 

His eyes weren’t simply green either, they were almost like his own. Green, with hues of grey that seemed as though they were fighting for dominance, but the lush greens always won.

Or at least, in Joseph’s eyes, the green won.

“You glow.” Joseph’s words pulled Gavin from his less than subtle staring. 

He couldn’t help the eye-roll as he retorted with a scratchy, “Fuck you,” that was far too defensive than he had intended.

 _‘Glowstick’._ If anyone else would have called him that, Gavin was certain that there was no fucking way he would have contained his hostility - he would have decked them before they had the chance to see it coming. But, he could tell that when it came from Allen, it wasn’t laced with cruelty. It was not a jibe to inflict offense, but a nickname. Intended to be pure, if not mildly amusing - if he could just shake the chip on his shoulder.

He took note of the way in which Joseph seemed to be preparing a goddamn apology speech in his head & Gavin cleared his throat, a faint laugh escaping his lips before he spoke. 

“So, uh, you’re not even gonna ask?”

“Hm?” 

Another eye-roll was in the works & he had to physically restrain himself from it as he gazed down at his bare torso, sitting himself slowly up in the process. Bandages were wrapped around his shoulder, spanning across his chest & looping beneath his arm to securely hold the gauze against his shoulder, he presumed. 

_Well at least I ain't got superhuman healing or some shit._ He thought bitterly.

Gavin looked to his left arm, where the nanites had receded back to his elbow, his white & blue chassis on show for Allen to stare at. But, he wasn’t staring. Not once did his eyes leave where they were looking at Gavin’s face. “Don’t play stupid, Cap.”

“I just figured you’d tell me if or when you were ready. Quite frankly, it ain’t my business. I thought you were dead, Gavin. I couldn’t care less how the fuck you are alive, just so long as you are.” 

The pure honesty in Joseph’s voice struck right to Gavin’s very core & his eyes welled up in record speed. Fuck knows why the hell he was so goddamn emotional, but just as with how he felt his anxieties with his whole being, he felt everything else that way too, apparently.

“I put you in my car & I called Hank. I didn’t know who the fuck to call, Gav, you scared the fucking shit out of me. He told me to bring you here & he met me here. Uh, your brother, he dragged you away from me & I think he hates me now.” Joseph chuckled softly, looking down at his hands as he flexed his fingers. “I punched him in the face.”

“You punched Elijah fucking Kamski in the face?” Gavin’s voice shook as he spoke & a faint laugh escaped his throat. Tears that were too stubborn for him to blink back slipped down his cheeks. 

“He refused to let me go in that room with you. Spewed some bullshit about how he needed to focus & I needed to be checked out too. So, uh, yeah. The blonde lady dragged me into my own room. Hank & Elijah started arguing, but I passed out before I heard what they were arguing about. Presumably you.”

Using his right hand, Gavin quickly swept away his tears, sniffling quietly. “I think I heard that. Like, just before I woke up?”

“Glowstick, that was two days ago.” 

“Aw fuck.” He groaned, tipping his head back against the headboard & wincing as it rattled pain throughout his skull. “I was out for two days? Guess it’s better than a week this time. So what? I’ve cheated death twice now? Am I the Terminator?” 

“I think Robocop is more fitting. But then again, you’re like, only half robot, right?” Allen’s brows seemed to furrow as he thought about it, finally raising his head from where he was looking at his hands to gaze over at Gavin, a sad smile on his face.

“Right.” Gavin sighed out in response, looking down at his right arm where an IV was hooked up to him, a clear liquid in it. So, he was still _almost_ human, for now.

_‘You’re nothing but a fuckin’ lab experiment gone wrong.’_

_‘You’re not even human.'_

_‘Nobody will ever fucking love you!’_

The words mocked him in his mind, as if they had been said to him previously. Did he dream about something? He couldn’t actually remember now that he was awake. But the way the words jabbed at his insecurities, it made the gentle banter between him & Joseph now seem more like a cruel joke.

He shoved himself up from where he was sitting, only to be yanked back down by wires that he hadn’t even noticed were attached to his left arm. _What the fuck?_

“What the-” He muttered, everything he had felt before all morphing into one oh so prominent anger. Or was it panic settling into his bones? All he knew was that it was easier to react with hostility than anything else.

He struggled to grasp onto the distant memories of the dream that he was sure he had, but all he could really remember was colour. It was almost as though he felt with it. Angry red consuming every part of him. Red from the dream that he couldn’t piece back together in his mind, red coding wrapped around the words that were just so fucking bitter.

A part of him felt almost as though Allen could see it too, with the way his eyes wearily studied Gavin’s face.

“Gav-” Allen’s cautious voice floated through the air, but was lost somewhere as Gavin reached around with his right hand, shaky fingers feeling for the wiring that was securing him in place.

_“-don’t.”_

There was that worry in Joseph’s voice again, but all Gavin could do was block it out as he screwed his eyes shut. His fingers wrapped tightly around the wire & after a quick drawn in breath, he yanked it out. The action elicited a soft, strangled yelp from his throat because fuck, did it send shooting, electric-shock like pains all the way up to his fucking chest.

As soon as the wire was removed, it triggered some form of alarm that bounced around Gavin’s skull far louder than it was reverberating throughout the room.

It was so. _Fucking_. _Loud_.

Gavin winced at the way the alarm seemed to amplify the tinnitus-like pain that was already in his head to excruciating levels. He then used his now free left arm to yank the IV out of his other arm. The pain in his head built & built into a screeching crescendo so when Gavin tried to stand, he instead crumpled to his knees on the linoleum floor. His hands clamped over his ears as he whimpered, pressing down hard as if the sound was coming from an outside source. Sure, the alarm was loud, but what was in his head was fucking deafening.

Almost immediately, two gentle hands came up to grip his wrists, pulling them with barely any force to try & get Gavin to let up on covering his ears. He gave in relatively quickly, allowing his arms to go slack, to which Joseph took both of Gavin’s hands in his own from where he had dropped to his knees in front of the detective. “Look at me, Glowstick.”

“My head, it fucking hurts! Wh-what’s happening to me, Cap?” His voice came out meek, pathetic almost as he peered up at Joseph, Gavin’s cheeks beginning to dampen with tears that he couldn’t fucking stop from forming. It was fucking infuriating. “Everything f-feels wrong.”

“I know, Gav, I know.” Allen sighed softly, pulling his lower lip between his teeth for a moment out of nervous habit. He eyed Gavin’s temple in the process, earning a scrutinising look in return. “Elijah said that thing was supposed to stop the headaches.”

“Wh-what thing?” Gavin asked with a heavy gulp. Then it seemed as though everything suddenly clicked together in his mind & Gavin tentatively reached his right hand up to feel over where the pain was radiating from the right side of his head. 

It was as though every sour emotion all at once decided to crash into him, his features morphing into a look of distress paired with mild horror as he felt a small, cool disc beneath his fingers that was flush against his skin.

“Cap…” He choked out, but the rest of his sentence was swallowed up by the mocking voice in his head, reminding him of all of the venomous words that were spewed during what he presumed was a dream.

It charged his anger & those words were floating around his head again, new ones were bombarding his vision, but this time he could read them as they acted as some sort of fucking warning sign.  
  


**> STRESS LEVEL: 78%**

**> STRESS LEVEL: 84%**

**> STRESS LEVEL: CRITICAL**   
  


The rapidly climbing numbers only served as fuel to his fire as they mocked him, paired with that infuriating fucking alarm & the pain in his head... Gavin’s anger took over his whole body. 

He jerked himself up into a standing position, swaying a little as he tried to keep his balance. Even as the SWAT Captain stood himself up & took a step closer to Gavin, Gavin took a hasty step back in return, spinning around to face the machines that he had been hooked up to. Before he could stop himself, he threw his left fist right through the stupid goddamn screen of the computer, screaming at it to shut the fuck up with that fucking alarm.

“Fucking p-piece of shit, fucking technology!”

“Gavin, you need to calm down…” There was Joseph’s voice _again._ Soft & lacking any judgement. He reached a hand out & placed it on Gavin’s elbow to which the man just shoved him off. Gavin grabbed the computer screen he had put his fist through, yanking it free from its wiring in the wall & threw it on the floor, too angry to register the pain that was flaring from where he had been shot.

“Make. It. Fucking. _Stop!”_ He cried as he kicked the screen, more tears falling down his cheeks when the alarm didn’t let up. He was convinced that is was only there to trigger the pain in his head to amplify tenfold.

He was so fucking sick of technology. He fucking hated it. Gavin never asked for any of this & somewhere deep down, he knew that if the roles were reversed, he’d have done the same thing to keep Elijah, hell, even Emma alive if situation called for it. He couldn’t live without those closest to him, but he never asked for any of this.

It took far longer than it should have for realisation to set into Joseph that the alarm that was ringing was there to alert Elijah that Gavin was awake now. He glanced to the door, noticing Elijah & Chloe heading towards it just in time for him to stride over to it, pressing his dominant shoulder against the door to hold it shut right as Elijah was about to come through.

After a very short lived battle between them, Allen used his body weight, propping himself against the door to hold it shut as he made quick work of flicking the lock that was on the inside. He shot Elijah an apologetic look through the glass & the CEO just glared icily at him through it in return.

Albeit muffled through the thickness of the door, Allen could still easily make out the anger in Elijah’s tone as the man shouted, “Let me in, Joseph! You cannot possibly explain to him what is happening! You’re not protecting him like this!”

Joseph swallowed, flicking his eyes to where Gavin was taking his anger out on the electronics that he had been hooked up to earlier before looking back to Elijah, speaking just loud enough for Kamski to make out, “It’s not him I’m protecting.”

As if on cue with Allen’s words, Gavin’s actions froze as he turned to glower at Elijah through the glass. His eyes void of the compassion that he would usually have when interacting with his brother.

“What the fuck did you do to me?!” He screamed at the door, marching his way over, only to be met halfway by Joseph. The man wrapped his arms securely around Gavin’s frame, holding the detective against his chest as Gavin continued his verbal onslaught. “I’m not your fucking lab-rat, ‘Lijah! I fucking hate you!”

“You need to calm down, Gav.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to fucking do!” Gavin shouted back as he thrashed, punching & shoving at Allen’s chest with all his might. But no matter how hard shoved, Allen’s arms were secure & unrelenting, gripping onto his body as if somehow he thought that if he let go, he’d lose Gavin for good. “L-let me fu-fucking go! That prick played a-around in my fucking head. _Again!”  
_ **  
**

**> STRESS LEVEL: CRITICAL**

**> STRESS LEVEL: CR1T/IC@AL**

**> S//TRESS_L@[[//***   
  


The words were bold & red, right there in the forefront of his vision, getting more & more distorted the angrier he got. Soon enough, his chronic pains were flaring up & it all became too much & he couldn’t help but give up his fight against Joseph. His whole body fell like a dead weight against Allen’s chest as he gave up struggling & instead, simply began to cry. Why the fuck couldn't he get a handle on his emotions properly?

Rough, shaky sobs were ripped from Gavin’s throat as Elijah & Chloe watched from the window. All Joseph could do was keep his grip on Gavin so the poor guy didn’t fall to the floor. Gavin’s hands slowly curled into the back of Joseph’s shirt as he buried his face into the crook of the man’s neck, his tears dampening Joseph’s skin in seconds flat.

“Shh Glowstick... Gav, you’re okay.” He whispered into Gavin’s hair, one of his hands ever so gently coming up to rub soothing circles in between Gavin’s shoulder-blades for a few moments. 

Allen glanced over his shoulder at the window in the door, using one hand to gesture to his own ear, then pointing to the ceiling to silently signal for Elijah to cut the alarm. Thankfully, the man actually fucking listened & he looked at Chloe, then the alarms seized. Once the room fell into a silence, which was only broken by Gavin’s sobs, did Joseph slowly begin to walk them to the bed, stopping when Gavin refused to move or to help himself.

“Gav..”

Nothing.

“Have it your way.” He murmured, it lacking any bite. 

Thanks to being a SWAT Captain, Joseph was able to shift them with ease, maneuvering Gavin’s arms so they were wrapped around his neck; he then scooped Gavin’s body up into a bridal-style hold & carried the man to the bed where he sat himself down, Gavin still in his arms.

As hopeless as he felt, he was just grateful that it was him who was there to comfort Gavin through his temperament. All Joseph could do was hold Gavin against his chest, running one of his hands through Gavin’s hair in the hopes it would help calm the man down. He glanced at the door, mouthing, ‘let me handle this’ to Elijah, holding his glare until the CEO relented with a reluctant nod & left with Chloe. He knew they’d be back in no time, but at least now they didn’t have a fucking audience.

A sickening feeling swam through Joseph’s stomach as he held Gavin close to his chest as securely as he could as he thought about the fact this was all his fault. If he hadn’t have asked Gavin to join him on the op, he never would have ended up in that water. Sure, he had been briefly told about the headaches & how they were out of his control but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel fucking guilty over the fact Gavin had been shot. That was before he even touched on whatever the fuck else happened while he was out.

As the choked up sobs began to ever so slowly subside, a very meek, quiet voice emerged from them. “Death lingers in everyone’s shadow, so why not mine, Cap? Wh-why not mine?” As he spoke, Gavin raised his head to peer up at Allen’s face, swiping at his damp cheeks to wipe away his tears in the process.

It wasn’t a rhetorical question, but a genuine one. Eyes searching Allen’s face for an answer that the captain didn’t have.

Joseph’s own eyes welled up at the sight, his eyes flickering to Gavin’s right temple to study the glowing red ring before returning to meeting his eyes. “Because…” He sighed softly, shifting one hand to gently tap over where Gavin’s heart is. “What’s in there, Gav, is far too fucking important to be taken away from this world just yet, y’hear me?”

As Joseph tapped Gavin’s chest, it suddenly dawned on him that Gavin had clearly pushed through all of the physical pain he was in, in favour of getting an outlet for his anger. In the process, he had put a hell of a lot of strain on the freshly stitched bullet wound.

Ever so gently, Allen moved Gavin so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He then got up to rummage through some of the medical drawers to find clean bandages. Without any further words, he simply began to unwrap the old bandages to apply the fresh ones to help keep Gavin’s wound clean.

Gavin, however, was stunned into silence at the pure honesty in Joseph’s previous words. Nobody had ever said that sort of thing to him before & it was quite honestly the nicest thing he had been told. He didn’t know how the fuck to handle it, except for doing what Gavin fucking Reed did best: avoidance.

He stayed in his silence for a while as he stared off at nothing in particular, Joseph quietly working on his bandages before finally piping up with, “Y-you’re handling this pretty well for someone who just found out I’m a fucking science e-experiment.” He laughed bitterly to himself, finally looking at Joseph’s face.

“Oh, no, I’m totally freaking out on the inside.”

“Really?”

“No.” Joseph offered a soft smile, inspecting his handiwork with a nod of approval to himself. He disposed of the old bandages in a nearby bin without a second glance at the fact that the blood staining them wasn’t quite red.

The Captain then made his way back, slowly reaching a hand up & momentarily hesitated before ever so gently running the pad of a thumb over the little disc that sat at Gavin’s temple. For a second, Gavin flinched, shuddering before he finally relaxed a few moments later. As Gavin so visibly went through the motions, Joseph sort of wondered just how it felt.

“Gavin…” He began, his words just as honest as the last. “You’re still you. Sure, you’ve got some temper issues that we need to work on, but I’d be actually freaked out if you were calm about any of this. Besides, I always knew there was somethin’ special about you, I just couldn’t pinpoint why.”

Out of all the things that should have caught Allen’s concern, it was Gavin’s temper? Damn.

“I ain’t special.” Gavin grumbled moodily, the little disc on his head flickering to yellow before returning to red. _So it changed colour?_ Joseph pondered. He thought it was just stuck on red, matching the intense flame that was Gavin Reed’s personality.

“You beat my best time at the training course... I knew you were totally cheating.” Allen offered with a playful smile as he sat beside Gavin on the bed. He nudged his shoulder against Gavin’s, earning a soft ‘ouch’ followed by a weak laugh.

“Dipshit.”

“Asshole.”

A tiny lopsided smirk tugged at Gavin’s features as Joseph returned the banter, his eyes sparkling just a little as he studied Allen’s face once again. Everything was just so… _clear._

The softness in the smile that sat on Allen’s face was so warming, he very nearly got lost in it, forgetting momentarily about the fucking technology that was drilled into his head. The SWAT Captain stared back, the adoration in his eyes never once faltering; not even when he cupped Gavin’s cheek & Gavin ducked his head. Not even as he leaned in a little closer, guiding Gavin’s face up slightly so he could look at him.

It didn’t falter. 

Joseph _loved_ Gavin & Gavin loved him too; just in two separate kind of ways.

So, when Joseph closed the gap between them & pressed his lips to Gavin’s, Gavin _had_ to pull away before he kissed back. He had to duck his head again before he could properly watch as that adoration in Joseph’s eyes morphed into a look of hurt that he didn’t think his chest could handle seeing.

“I can’t.” Gavin spoke in a voice that was barely there.

He knew that he & Richard were nothing ‘official’ & he fucking knew that Richard was bad news. For fuck sake, the prick shot him & dumped him in the goddamn river. Joseph was the one that saved him. But at the same time, Gavin had never fallen so hard & so dangerously fast as he did every single fucking time he looked into those gorgeous, stormy grey eyes.

Even though they hadn’t spent a lot of time together outside of either Gavin’s bedroom or being on quite literal opposite sides of the playing field, Gavin loved that asshole of a gangster & he wasn’t even sure why. Especially not when exactly what he needed was, well, sitting shoulder to shoulder with him right now.

“Maybe in another life.” Joseph’s soft words pulled Gavin from his thoughts & he couldn’t help the way his vision got a little blurry as he stared down at the space between his feet. He kept his head ducked so the man couldn’t see.

Joseph wasn’t angry; his voice was void of anything other than the soft comforting tones he had been using since Gavin woke up.

“I know.” Was all Gavin could whisper back, anything more & he knew his voice would shake.

“I’ll always be here anyway.”

“...I know.” Gavin repeated, but this time, he added an ever so soft, ‘thank you’ on the end. Yes, his voice fucking shook & fucking cracked in the middle when he spoke. Joseph had fucking heard it, if the soothing hand that was once more rubbing between his shoulder-blades was anything to go by.

For a short while, the room fell quiet. Once he had a handle back on his infuriating fucking emotions, Gavin ever so gently leaned his head on Joseph’s shoulder & could very faintly make out the sound of the man’s steady heart rate. Joseph slipped an arm around Gavin’s shoulders to hold him close, despite it all. Despite everything, Allen was still there. And Gavin was just beginning to think that maybe he always would be.

The rest of the day floated past in a strange, hazy state. 

Joseph had taken up explaining that he had eavesdropped on Elijah while he was speaking with Chloe & had heard them talk about something called a ‘neuro-link’. He then explained that they called the little disc on Gavin’s head a ‘lobe-entry-diode’, but had shortened it to ‘LED’.

Gavin felt a strange sense of pride rush through him at the thought of Joseph being a sneaky fucker & eavesdropping on his brother.

Joseph explained the best he could, despite his lack of extensive knowledge in the technology field. He gave the cliff-notes version, also known as ‘the only-parts-Cap-understood version’; the LED worked as a diode, a semi-conductor of sorts, that was there to channel all of Gavin’s ‘upgraded cognitive functions’ into one place, giving them an outlet. Or something.

Before the LED had been installed, Gavin’s very human brain had been overheating of sorts, unable to handle the very-not-so-human things it could do. Reconstructing the crime scene flawlessly in his mind, constructing the best course of action in situations that had slim chances of survival; it was all cognitive functioning that should have been impossible in a human, but somehow, Elijah had made it possible for Gavin.

A part of Gavin, deep down inside, had a small sense that his brother knew his body wouldn’t have been able to handle it. That he knew that the nosebleeds & headaches would happen. That being the reason why he seemed to know exactly how to fix the issue within the two short days Gavin was out. Elijah had known Gavin was dying, yet chose to say nothing. 

Instead, he allowed Chloe to keep tabs on him, or at least, that was Gavin’s theory. The more rational part of him liked to think that he was just looking far too deeply into something that quite frankly, just wasn’t that deep.

In return for all Joseph’s explanations, Gavin decided to explain his side of everything the best he could. His words were strung together into sentences that were spoken far too quickly, but he felt Joseph deserved to know.

He explained about his ‘upgraded cognitive functions’ to which, Joseph had jokingly said that Gavin has a ‘mind palace’. 

Gavin thought that was Joseph’s polite way of telling him he had far too much going on in his head for any one person to function, but, the phrase ‘mind palace’ sort of stuck. Especially when he got to explaining about how he was able to pick apart situations in what felt like slow-motion because of whatever Elijah had done to his head.

He explained that each time he did it, his body grew weaker, but he didn’t know how to make it stop. He knew the headaches & nosebleeds were killing him, but he wasn’t going to tell anybody.

Gavin then proceeded to explain that since he woke up with the LED, it was as though everything was running at its quickest & most sufficient capacity, the static noise he had been hearing for months straight was now almost non-existent. He talked about how he could see his stress levels & various other words in his vision that helped him to better analyse a situation, but now that they were ever present & rather infuriating, he didn’t get the headaches or nosebleeds.

Having the ‘mind palace’ ever active seemed like an annoying, yet small price to pay in comparison to the way he felt each time he had used it prior to being shot by Richard.

“Hold on a second…” Joseph cut in, brows furrowed together with a worried look plastered across his face. “You were just going to let it kill you?”

Gavin felt guilty admitting it out loud, but he saw no point in lying, so he hesitantly nodded. “Didn’t wanna end up with more fuckin’ technology in me. Guess that didn’t matter anyways. Here I am. Again.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here.” Was all Joseph said & they fell back into just talking about all of the things that Gavin had never been able to talk about to anybody before outside of Elijah or his therapist. NDA's & all. But, he was sure Elijah would forced Allen to sign an NDA anyway before he left so he might as well know everything.

They briefly laughed about how they both thought there was just something off about Chloe, but neither of them could pinpoint why. Gavin spoke a little about how she’s his therapist, both there to keep track of his physical altercations, but the mental toll it all had taken on him too & how she had actually sort of helped, even if she was a little weird.

They had been talking for so long, Gavin hadn’t even realised that the day had turned to night. Time just sort of got lost when he was with Joseph.

Elijah had brought them Gavin’s favourite Chinese takeout as a peace offering to his sibling & they all ate together, all of them apologising to each other.

Joseph apologised for the black eye that was forming on Elijah’s face. Gavin apologised for his blind anger when he lost his temper & Eli apologised for not being there at his side to properly explain what he had done to fix him. He also apologised for the headaches, having no clue that they would have occurred. Gavin supposed there was no way he could have known given he was the first test subject.

When Elijah left the room, Gavin sort of felt as though his brother had taken the sense of calm he was feeling along with him.

Joseph’s words filled Gavin’s ears & he knew that good things never could last. “While we’re on this fast track to honesty-ville, I figured I should come clean about something too.”

“Oh no.” Gavin laughed faintly. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to scrap me for parts.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Joseph’s soft laugh was short lived. It was followed by a soft sigh, the man taking a moment to figure out his words before speaking up. “Look, Gav, you know I trust you, with my life. But I’m a cop & so are you…”

A cold dread overtook Gavin’s body at those words & he ever so slowly pulled on the grey Cyberlife sweater Elijah had given to him, being careful of his bandages before running a hand nervously through his hair. Yeah, he knew where this was going.

“Cap…”

“I woke up to a lot of gunfire. My team were dead around me & when I walked out into the open, there were more bodies.”

Richard’s men. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. _Fuck_. He vaguely remembered all of the gunfire when he was under the water. His chest felt tight at the thought of Richard being just another one of those casualties. “Did the cops kill everyone? What the- Was he-”

“Just listen for a sec!” Joseph snapped, cutting Gavin’s sentence off. He was quick to apologise, standing himself up as he took a step closer to where Gavin was sliding on his sneakers & if Gavin had to guess, his stupid fucking LED was likely spinning red to match the anger that was bubbling just beneath the surface.

He wasn’t even sure why he was getting angry. Maybe it was because he knew that whatever calm he had between him & Joseph; he selfishly wanted to preserve & keep all to himself as a little pocket of air in an ocean of trouble. He just knew Richard was going to drag his darkness all over it, if he had not already & now that meant Joseph was in danger too.

“I didn’t know you were in the water, Gavin. I didn’t see you get shot & I didn’t see you get shoved in. Wanna know what I saw? I saw that fucker in the white blazer shoot one of his own men which just added to bodies already on the ground. All dead, presumably by his hand.” 

Gavin could see the way Joseph was growing more irritable as he recounted what he witnessed & he knew for a fact that it was only a matter of time before a friction grew between them. Why the fuck was he not surprised said friction just so happened to be called Richard.

Before Gavin could speak, Joseph continued, “That prick jammed his fucking gun to my temple & all but forced me into the river to fish your ass out. Last thing I heard him say was a threat regarding my family & how we’d be fishing _them_ out of the river if I didn’t drag you out. Then, he shoved me in.”

A hundred things were running through Gavin’s mind & he diverted his eyes from Allen’s scrutiny to once more take up staring down at his feet. 

So, Richard was the reason that Joseph even pulled him out of the river in the first place? Did Richard really kill his own men? Why?

“Gavin? Can I ask you to be honest with me?” Joseph’s voice cut through his spiraling thoughts.

“Seems to be a running theme of this conversation.”

“Are you working for that guy? Tell me why he killed all of his remaining men that didn’t flee the scene, the same men that just so happened to be men who I thought were my team & somehow, you were the only one he wanted alive.”

Gavin visibly rearranged himself at the bluntness of Joseph’s voice. He dragged his eyes from the floor to look at his left hand as it came up to feel over where the fresh bandages lay beneath the sweater he was wearing. Fucking Richard. He needed to find him. Maybe punch him in the face for being such a prick.

He then took up glaring right at Joseph, the accusations swimming around & around in his mind.

His own stress levels popped up in the corner of his vision & he tried to blink them away but they sat strong, reminding him to keep himself in check. When no answer came from Gavin’s end, Joseph piped up again. 

“How did you end up in the river, Gavin? What the fuck is going on?”

The hurt that Gavin felt at Joseph’s accusations similarly reflected the betrayal he felt when Richard just stood by & allowed Andreas to beat the shit out of him. He dread to imagine the various shades of purple bruising on his face, but he had yet to brave looking in a mirror.

“What the fuck, Cap? Are you saying that you think I’m a dirty cop?! I ain’t like that!”

 _“Reed!_ What is it like then?! Because a fucking mobster wanted to keep _you_ alive!” As Joseph put emphasis on ‘you’, he pointed his finger right at Gavin’s chest. It took a lot for him to actually not grab Allen’s finger & bend it fucking backwards just for accusing him of something like that.

Instead, he settled on shoulder-checking Allen with a wince as he moved past him & towards the door. “I don’t have fucking time for this. Cap, you know I’m not fucking dirty! Can’t you just be grateful that Richard told you I was even in that river at all?!”

_“Richard?”_

With an irritated sigh, Gavin spun on his heels to face Allen again, glaring right at him.  
  
“Yes! The stupid prick that shot me & shoved me in the fucking river in the first place! For your fucking information, Cap, he did that so one of _your_ men didn’t shoot me in the head! It was the only way I was getting out of that situation that _you_ should have known was a set-up!”

As soon as the words left Gavin’s mouth, he regretted them. He knew it wasn’t fair to blame Allen for something that was out of his control. There was no way he could have known that his men were dirty, hell, they hid it so flawlessly, he doubted anyone could have known. Although, now that thought was in his head, it had his mind straying to question just who Richard had in his pocket & just how powerful he really was. There were puzzle pieces he was so clearly missing, but he just couldn’t fucking figure out why or what they were.

Hurt flashed across Joseph’s face as he stared at him in shock, almost unwilling to believe that Gavin was willing to take it a step further with such cruel words. 

There was a look in Joseph’s face & Gavin couldn’t quite pinpoint what it expressed. He looked almost as though he was about to say something, but argued internally with himself before ultimately choosing against it. Instead, Joseph drew in a heavy sigh, moving around him to place his hand on the door handle. 

“I’d be careful of the company you keep, Gavin. Some of them may not be who you think they are.”

With that, he gave Gavin one last apologetic look before he made his way out of the door, leaving Gavin standing alone in a room he fucking hated with only his thoughts as his company once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Captain Allen so much & I sure do hope you do too.


	8. Crime Of Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something Chloe had been working hard on helping Gavin with outside of the obvious, was his anger issues that amplified after the accident. But as events unfold, could Gavin keep his anger roped in to see reason from the perspective of a criminal mastermind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this has taken longer than I wanted to get out, but there were about three reworks of this chapter to get it right. The first half is mostly to explore a little more of Gavin's mindset & setting up some important plot, which is why Richard doesn't come into it properly until about half way through, from that point on though, it'll likely just be G9-centric for the foreseeable future;) 
> 
> IMPORTANT: Please heed the two most recent tag updates. When it gets to where Gavin meets up with Richard again, they get a little violent. I just want to put the content warning here, but also a disclaimer that the physical violence between them will not be a running theme after this chapter, as that is not the nature of their relationship. I do believe it was necessary to show the ugly side of not only Gavin's, but Richard's anger too.  
> With that, I hope you enjoy<3

“It is truly a fascinating phenomenon that somehow, humans & others alike, are capable of sustaining so much damage to their body to a point where they cannot even physically move & yet, are still able to function. To push themselves to the very limit.” Chloe paused, eyes studying Gavin as he shifted on the couch he was sitting on. She watched him cross his legs into a basket.

The two of them were sitting in a spare, way too fucking clean meeting room, somewhere in the depths of Cyberlife’s inner workings. Not quite the most professional setting for a therapy session, but they made do with the space they had.

The way Chloe specified ‘humans & others alike’ probably shouldn’t have had Gavin’s skin crawling the way that it did, but it fucking did. Before he could bitch about her wording, she continued, “Even though emotional pain does not sting like a cut, or hurt like a bruise, it still has the power to completely take over the body.”

Gavin stared dumbly at his lap, hands fiddling with the sleeves on the Cyberlife sweater he was wearing. He knew he had to cooperate, to watch his fucking mouth & not make Chloe pissed at him. He had been all of two seconds away from going to see Emma just before he left Cyberlife to go back home when Chloe had stopped him in his tracks.

She refused to let him see Emma until he sat & spoke with her first. He tried to argue, to say there was no fucking way that she could keep him from seeing his daughter, but then the fucking bitch decided to remind him of the little… outburst he had when Joseph had to calm him down. Apparently, that was enough proof of his emotional instability.

What fucked him off the most was Chloe’s tone of voice. It was accusing; as if he’d have that anger when seeing Emma, as if he’d hurt her. Which, for the record, he fucking wouldn’t. Seeing his daughter always managed to make all of his anger dwindle into nothing but a distant background sound.

“Yeah, well, it’s cruel because that kind of pain is all in someone’s head, y’know? It festers until it grows so prominent that it becomes physical & then the _real_ funny fuckin’ thing is that no painkiller can ever numb it.” Gavin grumbled quietly, eyes never leaving where he was looking down at his lap.

Fuck talking about feelings. He’d rather go back to being a fucking science experiment.

“What does it feel like?” Was all Chloe asked in response as she crossed one leg over the other, hands clasped neatly over the open notebook that was resting on her legs.

“It’s hard to explain.” Gavin began, pausing to think of his wording. “It’s like… there’s a hard weight in your chest & you feel weirdly sick, like, all of the time. Moving even a little has your head spinning as though you’ve just stepped off a fucking rollercoaster with one too many loops. Then you start contemplatin’ all the ways you could step off of this realm & onto the next one, to make all that shit go away.”

“This rollercoaster you speak of… if it makes you feel in such a way, why did you choose to ride it in the first place?”

“Because I’m a fucking idiot, why do you think?” Gavin snapped, his tone sour. The words were not necessarily directed at Chloe, but maybe more so at himself. 

After his accident, Gavin had thought that Elijah had just sent Chloe to keep an eye on him as he recovered from his procedures & so he could keep his job after going through such trauma. But, the more they spoke, the more Gavin found himself actually opening up & being a little more honest about his infuriating feelings.

Ever since he was a teenager, he had learnt how to bottle things up & avoided confronting them until they bubbled over, which usually meant he ended up with him in some sort of fight - big ones, small ones, it didn’t fucking matter. Chloe was trying to rectify that mindset. 

“Do you know what the term ‘exulansis’ refers to?”

“Chlo, we both know I’m smart… kinda, but I’m not a fucking encyclopedia.”

Aha! There it was. Another one of her almost-smiles. Gavin counted it as a win.

“Exulansis is the tendency to give up on trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.” Chloe’s voice was soft, softer than it was earlier & she took a moment to flick through the notepad she was holding. Something about the action had Gavin’s brows furrowing together; it was almost robotic... calculated. As though she was doing it for the sake of acting as though she needed to recount her notes, even though he could tell she wasn’t reading them.

“Every time we touch upon a difficult subject, you always change the topic to something else. You have done it countless times when we’ve tried to talk about the night of your accident. Now our conversation has once more got sidetracked & don’t think I don’t appreciate hearing you open up, Gavin, but we’re talking about emotional pain rather than talking about how exactly you ended up shot in Detroit river.”

Chloe fixed him with a pointed look. “Do you get the sense that you cannot talk about the events that have taken place due to not being understood?”

Several witty comebacks passed through Gavin’s mind, but when he opened his mouth to speak, no words came out. 

He had never really thought about it like that, but then again, why would he have? Of fucking course nobody would understand because nobody could relate. He was quite literally the only person on the planet to not only be half fucking machinery, but to be a goddamn lab experiment that’d be tested on if anyone were to find out.

There was only one person who could possibly understand the situation that landed him right there in Cyberlife with a gunshot wound in the first place & that person just so happened to be the one who pulled the bastard trigger.

“There is someone.” Gavin blurted before he could stop himself & he mentally chastised himself for letting it slip. His eyes snapped up from where they were staring at Chloe’s notebook to look at her face instead.

Another almost-smile. Then, an almost-frown. 

“Care to elaborate?” 

“Uh.. not really, no.”

“Gavin.”

“Chloe.”

She narrowed her eyes & Gavin narrowed his right back. They were stuck in a stalemate as they glared at one another, the stand-off only breaking when Chloe closed her notebook with an ever so subtle amused shake of her head. “So stubborn.”

Gavin shrugged & a tired, half assed grin tugged at his features. He wanted to stay mad at her for stopping him from seeing Emma right away, but that was difficult when he actually realised that his muscles were less tense, his mind was a little more clear & overall, he felt less like he wanted to bury himself alive & never see the light of day again.

“Give me something about this someone, actually three things. Anything at all, then you may leave. But, it cannot be about their physical appearance.”

Ugh. Cheater. She wanted to hear about personality? Richard’s personality was… questionable.

“That’s blackmail.”

“Indeed it is.”

Out of all of the things that annoyed & mildly creeped him out about Chloe, her honesty with her words was something Gavin would always be appreciative of.

Gavin diverted his gaze as he tipped his head to the side, looking at one of the too fucking clean walls so he could conveniently avoid Chloe’s scrutinising stare that was burning a hole into the side of his fucking head. 

He grit his teeth together as he thought over everything. From the phone call that ended with the promise of a date, to being held at gunpoint which ended with him shot in a river. Fucking hell.

“What are you thinking about?” Chloe’s voice cut through his spiraling thoughts & fuck, surely he hadn’t been awkwardly silent for that long, right?

Gavin tipped his head just enough to throw a warning glare at Chloe & then he quickly rearranged himself. He drew in a few deep breaths as he mentally scrabbled out of the rabbit hole that his mind was falling deeper & deeper into.

“Uh, I dunno. I guess, he’s not afraid of like, anything ever. Or at least, that’s how he makes it look. He’s kind of a prick too, y’know? Done some shit that makes me so mad but at the end of the day, I think he thinks that it was in my best interest, even if it wasn’t?” 

“Can you give me an example?” Chloe cut in, tilting her head ever so slightly as she listened.

So Gavin did.

After throwing her another glare that did not affect Chloe in the slightest, he conveniently avoided the part where Richard shot him & instead spoke about when they sat on the rooftop together. It had been fucking terrifying, but he thought that maybe in Richard’s mind, he was trying to help him face his fear, but he had just went the wrong way about doing it.

This then led to a conversation about Gavin’s fear of heights & whether or not it had helped. Spoiler alert: it had not. Heights were still fucking traumatising, but the view had sure been gorgeous. 

To finish up their little session, Gavin explained his third thing about Richard. The man always left him wanting more. He felt that they never got enough time together before things got interrupted & taken away from him.

He avoided details & even went so far as to avoid saying Richard’s name completely. Gavin knew how much dismay he’d be met with by speaking way too fucking highly of not only an employee, but the fucking owner of A9 Genetics. Instead, he simply explained that if you took away all of the bad that seemed to revolve around Richard, he was a man that Gavin adored spending his time with. For whatever fucking reason. 

After swearing that Richard knew nothing about his procedures & promising that he would be careful when around someone new who seemed so eccentric, Chloe led Gavin towards the room that Emma had been occupying for the past few days.

Since both Elijah & Chloe had to be at Cyberlife to cater to fixing up Gavin, it meant Emma had to be there too. Thankfully, the little genius loved it. She loved the technology; loved getting to play with the best of the best computers that nobody else had access to.

Gavin had no sense of what fucking time it was, with the brightness of the lights around Cyberlife, it was almost impossible to tell. As if reading his thoughts, Chloe let him know that it was nearing one A.M & although Emma should be asleep, just like Gavin, she never actually fucking slept at night.

“Em? You in here?” Gavin knocked on the door as he poked his head around. Any remaining anger that he may have felt fizzled out into nothing as soon as he saw his daughter look up from where she was distracted by her laptop.

Bright green eyes looked right at him as she quickly, if not a little suspiciously, shut her laptop & puffed out a heavy breath to blow a strand of mousy-brown hair from where it had fallen over her face.

Emma put her laptop aside & waved as she hopped up, running straight at Gavin as he stepped into the doorway. He grinned wider than he had for a long time as he tightly wrapped his arms around her & picked her up, holding her right against his chest.

 _“Fuck_. I’ve missed you, babygirl, how the hell have you been?”

Emma stayed silent, clutching onto her dad until Gavin glanced over his shoulder at Chloe, who was still standing just beyond the door. He shot her a knowing look, to which she nodded once in understanding with a polite almost-smile & as she left, she shut the door to give them some more privacy.

That was the thing with Emma - she was a selective mute. Or at least, that’s what they had put it down to. Ever since her mother died in front of her due to a robbery gone wrong, Emma stopped talking.

They were on their way to meet Gavin for the first time, back when he still lived on the south-side of Detroit. Emma’s mother had finally decided to get back into contact with Gavin after years of nothing, to tell him that he had a daughter. She had given Gavin the option of whether he wanted to get to know Emma or not. 

She had said she wouldn’t be mad if he wanted nothing to do with either of them seeing as she had never even told him that she was pregnant after their drunken fling years upon years prior. Albeit shocked, Gavin still wanted to meet Emma, after all she was his daughter. She had graciously been named after Gavin & Elijah’s grandmother. 

So they met. _Sort of._

He was making the final touches to cleaning his apartment when Gavin heard the unmissable sound of a gunshot echo throughout his neighbourhood from barely a block away. Emma & her mother were on their way & he couldn’t help but fear the worst as his cop instincts kicked in.

Gavin grabbed his badge & gun, all but pelting out of the door, out of his building & towards the direction he assumed the gunshot came from.

It didn’t take him long. 

Right at the bottom of his street, he saw that Emma’s mother was lying on the ground; her bloodied hands pressed over her chest & Emma’s hands pressed over the top of them. He watched as she screamed & sobbed at her mother to stop bleeding because she didn’t want to be alone.

Gavin never caught the killer.

Emma’s mother was killed over $10.45. 

Emma was traumatised over ten fucking dollars & forty-five cents.

Ever since that day, Gavin looked after Emma. Not that he had any fucking clue what the hell he was doing. The thing he did learn rather quickly though, was that Emma only talked to him after it taking weeks for her to even open up at all. She spoke to nobody else & it stuck that way. 

There had been one, maybe two occasions where she had spoken a sentence to somebody, but that was only because Gavin had selfishly bribed her to do so.

“You know you shouldn’t say ‘fuck’ around a kid, right?” She whispered, refusing to let go of where she was clinging to Gavin’s frame, even as Gavin laughed & playfully tried to pretend to drop her.

**> VOICE RECOGNITION: EMMA RAMONA KAMSKI**

Fuck, he really needed to figure out a way to turn that shit off or something. It was already really fucking annoying.

“Yeah? Well fuckin’ sue me, Kiddo.” With that, Gavin headed to the couch that Emma had been sitting on & sat himself down. Emma sat on his knee & after a short catching up, Gavin finally asked about her showing what she’d been up to on her laptop.

Emma seemed hesitant at first, worried that Gavin would tell Elijah to which Gavin gasped. He overdramatically clutched at his chest, feigning offense that Emma thought he’d rat her out to his brother, his LED cycling a calm blue.

After Gavin accused her of not trusting him & also getting up to no good, Emma finally relented. But not before grabbing Gavin’s face to inspect his LED though, reeling off information about it that Gavin had no fucking clue how she knew. She always managed to get talkative whenever technology was concerned.

Emma seemed to snap out of her trance & she finally opened her laptop to show Gavin what she had been working on.

The screen was filled with extensive amounts of code. It was complex stuff that made next to no sense, even with Gavin’s mind palace trying to rearrange it all into coherent strings of code.

“Em, you know none of this actually makes any sense, right?”

“Not to you, maybe.”

“Why not?”

“Because, Dummy, you’re not a computer, machine, robot or otherwise.” Emma answered in a tone as though she were talking to a child. Gavin couldn’t help but be amused as she tried to educate him on something that was clearly going straight over his sleep deprived head.

Hearing Emma say that he wasn’t a machine was somewhat comforting. In her eyes, he was still human, still a disaster of a father & that was the only opinion that should matter to him.

“Does that mean you’re a robot ‘cause you understand it?” Gavin grinned, poking at her ribs in the process.

She squirmed away, flicking his face as revenge before she spoke up, “No! Idiot. I understand it because I wrote it, _duh.”_ With that, Emma made Gavin pinky swear with his hand over his heart that he wouldn’t tell Elijah or Chloe as she was convinced they’d kill her if they found out what she was up to.

Deciding she could trust him, Emma began to explain what the coding was.

“So, Elijah has been working on some stuff that I wasn’t supposed to see & he made me swear not to tell you, but c’mon, why the fuck wouldn’t I tell you?!”

_“Language .”_

“Right, sorry. Uh, so this-” She gestured to the laptop screen, pointing to each section as she explained it. “-is a computer worm... sorta. It’s transmitted through software instabilities & those software vulnerabilities are caused by a strategically coded SQL injection. The exploit adds structured query language code to an input box so I can gain access to or make changes to sensitive data from within the back-end databases.”

Emma took a pause & glanced over at Gavin. She chewed nervously on her lip as her eyes flickered to the cycling yellow LED & when Gavin made no effort to interrupt, she continued. “Once I make those changes to the data, the computer worm will replicate them over & over again until the infected systems in the, uh, _computer,_ will be completely taken over by my coding. It will become riddled with software instabilities.”

_Holy fucking shit._

His daughter really was a genius. Not that they didn’t already know that, but not even Elijah had produced something so complex until he was around seventeen years old. What fucking twelve year old learned to code like _that?!_

If the code ever got into the wrong hands, Gavin knew the consequences could be dire & there was a small part of him that was worried, if not a little concerned. But, Gavin knew Emma’s fascination with all things technology & coding was only a hobby. 

He knew that she’d never do anything to cause intentional harm. That wasn’t in her nature.

Besides, any doubt was also completely overshadowed by the sheer pride he felt. Gavin just wanted to squeeze her in a bear-tight hug & remind her of how fucking smart she was.

“Wait, backtrack for a sec… What has this got to do with what Elijah is working on? Wait, do you know what the hell he’s working on, Em?!” Gavin paused as he shot Emma a sly look. When his daughter didn’t so much as falter, he decided to change tack. 

“You’re aware that you’re talking about hacking into one of the most technologically & cybernetically advanced world renowned companies to exist, plus, you also know your dad’s a cop, right? Pretty sure what you’re suggesting is illegal.”

Yeah, bold of him to pull that particular card when quite literally everything Richard did was fucking illegal.

Emma rolled her eyes as she shut down the coding, closing the laptop before reaching over to slide it beneath the couch. “I’m not hacking into Cyberlife.” She stated bluntly & that was enough for Gavin to drop the subject. For now. Even if he still didn’t get an answer as to what Elijah was working on, Gavin got a sense that he didn’t want to find out.

“Just… yeah, let’s keep this between you & me. You don’t use this code & cause thousands of dollars worth of damage & I’ll keep my lips sealed. Deal?”

“Deal.” Emma stuck her hand out & Gavin shook it, flashing a soft grin which was mirrored by his daughter.

Finally settling down, the pair spent a while just watching stupid cat videos on Gavin’s phone & bickering over everything from who was smarter to radioactive fucking zombies before Emma remembered it was actually Gavin’s birthday.

Of course she had remembered. Emma had drawn up Gavin a birthday card & had also made him a little necklace. The necklace was a small diamond-shaped piece of a neon blue circuit board that she had trimmed down. It was carefully attached to a chain & on the back of it, _‘Still human_ ’ was engraved in Emma’s cursive handwriting.

He allowed her to put the necklace on him, the pendant sitting perfectly on the upper center of Gavin’s chest & it took a lot for him to not get emotional over it, especially when she told him it’s so he’d always have her with him.

Besides, if he did cry, Em would say he was a sap & she wouldn’t let him live it down.

The conversation quickly turned to Emma whining about how she missed Arthur & wanted to go visit him. She even snatched Gavin’s phone to look at his background, which, of fucking course, was of his cat. Emma all but begged to go & see him, resorting to using her best puppy eyes that didn’t relent even as Gavin reminded her of the rules - that they were to see each other at Cyberlife or at Eli’s place.

Still, Emma continued to beg, lengthening out the ‘ea’ in every ‘please’ & before long, Gavin found himself reluctantly agreeing. They set about their plan to smuggle Emma out of Cyberlife.

Emma got her bag together as Gavin grabbed a piece of paper to write out a little note to Elijah or Chloe, which quickly turned into him getting rather frustrated at the fact he still couldn’t get his left hand to hold a pen properly. He was told by Chloe that he was making leaps & bounds in terms of his recovery, even with all of his setbacks. He passed his firearm retrain with flying colours, for fuck sake, but that didn’t mean the smaller tasks were not a pain in the ass.

Why the fuck couldn’t he just be right handed like the other 82% of the population were?

Emma took notice of Gavin’s red LED & the shakiness of his hand, so she quietly decided to make her way over. She took the pen & finished the sentence without uttering a word, leaving half of the sentence written in Gavin’s handwriting, the other half being in hers.

Somehow, she managed to sign off with Gavin’s signature flawlessly, then her own.

Fucking A. Gavin wasn’t going to ask about how she could do that one.

 _‘Just going to see Arthur. Be back by lunch tomorrow. - G.Reed & E.Kamski <3’ _

With the note left on the table in Emma’s room, they snuck down the corridor together, only making a pit-stop at one of Cyberlife’s supply rooms where Gavin grabbed a few bottles of a blue liquid that were labelled with his name. 

Fuck knows what they hell they were, but before his session with Chloe, Eli had mentioned about him keeping them in his fridge at home. Something about drinking them if he was struggling with stiffness in his limbs or those awful fucking headaches. He was only half listening at the time.

They put the bottles in Emma’s bag then made it to the car park as realisation set into Gavin that he didn’t drive there in the first place.

“Awfuck, we gotta call a cab or somethi-”

His sentence was promptly cut off by Emma as she held up a pair of keys that were looped around her index finger, a mischievous grin sitting on her face.

Right as Gavin was about to ask who’s keys she had swiped, Emma pressed the unlock button on the key fob, the lights flashing on Chloe’s midnight-blue 2030 Hyundai Sonata.

“How did you- Y’know what? I don’t wanna know. You’re like a fucking ninja & we’re gonna be in so much trouble, y’know that?” Gavin said, but snatched the keys anyway. He figured Chloe sort of deserved it for stopping him from seeing Emma in the first place & once they were both buckled in, Gavin drove them towards his apartment in a comfortable silence.

Halfway through their drive though, Emma decided to start flicking through the radio stations & Gavin knew that at that point, their silence was up; Emma was about to start annoying him, she always did if she got bored.

She began bombarding him with questions in regards to ‘the guy’ he had met. The guy that she had overheard Tina talking about to Hank. Gavin, again, chose not to ask how the fuck she ‘overheard’ that, his mind wandering to wiretaps & other creepy tech things she clearly knew how to do. Instead, he strategically avoided the questions in the same way he did in his therapy sessions.

The more she asked, the more he avoided. His fingers tapped along the wheel, his LED beginning to spin red then yellow, red then yellow when Emma asked if she could meet Richard. That was the point Gavin snapped at her for not dropping a subject that he didn’t want to talk about. Although she was stunned into silence, Emma did lean over the passenger seat to tap at his LED as if she thought she could knock it back into blue. Not that it worked, but it did settle to yellow. 

Gavin was so lost somewhere in his own head that he barely even registered the touch.

It was only when he pulled up into his apartment complex’s parking garage alongside a rather sleek, black car with tinted windows did Emma’s voice bring him back to the present.

“It’s like a mood ring.” She barely whispered & it took Gavin a long time before he finally registered she was talking about his LED.

After running a hand through his hair & drawing in a deep breath to compose himself, Gavin apologised softly for snapping at her. He explained that he’d tell her more when they were in the confines of his apartment.

As he got out the borrowed car, a soft, pleased whistle escaped Gavin’s lips. He eyed the car he had parked beside & felt as though it was familiar, although he was unsure as to why. 

Emma grabbed her backpack & followed her dad out of the car, politely reminding him of his LED as he stared dumbly at the car beside them. Gain cursed & shot Emma a quick thanks as he held up his phone & used the reflection from the screen as a makeshift mirror. He watched as the nanites covered it up in one swift motion & just like that, Gavin looked a little more human all over again.

They linked arms & the pair headed into the elevator & up to Gavin’s apartment floor. As he used the handprint scanner to unlock the door, the fatigue finally settled into Gavin’s metal bones & he realised just how fucking tired he was. 

Tired, sleep deprived & missing his cat.

Heading back to his apartment meant that he was supposed to be comforted by Arthur. The stupid bastard of a cat was the only living creature outside of Emma that walked this earth that probably wouldn’t be judging him right now. Instead, Gavin got devoured by fucking wolves.

More specifically, _one_ Wolf that he couldn’t fucking shake... not that he wanted to, really.

Emma was busying herself with tying her shoelace when Gavin opened his apartment door, so luckily she missed the commotion. It felt as though someone had decided to throw their full weight against him & it caused Gavin to stumble slightly. He managed to shift just enough that his back collided with the doorframe with a dull thud & he let out a soft grunt of pain.

“What the fu-” Gavin’s surprised, raspy sentence got cut short as the distinct smell of Chypre filled his nostrils. Two stupidly strong arms wrapped themselves around his frame & a face was being pressed right against his neck.

Richard was clinging to Gavin as though he thought that if somehow, he let go of Gavin, then the floor would open up & swallow him whole, never to be seen again. 

Hesitantly, Gavin managed to get his arms free & wrap them around the man’s torso in turn, absentmindedly rubbing soothing circles over the gangster’s back until his protective instincts over Emma kicked in. That & oh fucking yeah, that was it - the bastard had fucking shot him and fucking dumped him the Detroit river. 

As he felt a shift in the air behind him, indicating Emma was done fiddling with her laces, Gavin pulled back from the embrace. He shoved Richard back at an arm’s length as that dark part of himself so desperately tried to claw its way to the surface. 

A smug grin that was barely masquerading as offence had just about settled over Richard’s features before Gavin swiftly pulled his left arm back, hard curling into a fist & before he could even think about the action, he punched the man square in the jaw. _Hard_. 

_“You_. Need to _fucking_ leave.” Gavin stated bluntly, his voice borderline shouting, borderline trying to keep his fucking composure. He refused to budge from where he was now blocking the doorway & in turn, blocking Emma behind him, resisting the urge to hug his hand to his chest because fuck, throwing a punch always hurt.

The cold glare he was met with should have sent shivers down his spine, but the adrenaline that was pumping through Gavin’s system had him standing his ground.

Richard didn’t even look offended, nor did he react other than one hand coming up to cup the part of his jaw that Gavin’s knuckles had collided with. Gavin was expecting the gangster to be at least the slightest bit startled, but it was as though he knew the punch was coming.  
  
Emma cleared her throat & tugged at the back of Gavin’s Cyberlife sweater. “Don’t be rude.” She whispered & although it was completely inaudible to Richard’s ears, they both knew Gavin could pick up on it easily. Without breaking his attention from the man, in one quick movement, Gavin pushed Emma back out into the corridor & closed the door behind her before she had the chance to argue. 

Now that she was safe, Gavin could give his oh so charming Wolf his undivided fucking attention.  
  
“Why the _fuck_ are you in my apartment?!” 

If the fucking prick thought he was going to be left off easy, Richard had another thing coming.

The man said nothing, his grey eyes narrowing as he watched Gavin take a few steps forward. He never broke eye contact as Gavin laid his left hand heavy on Richard’s chest, trying to get him to move but Richard stood fast. 

_“I was waiting to see you._ ” 

The usual silk in his voice was gone, in its place was a dangerous tone that set Gavin’s nerves on edge. Gavin could feel the man’s tense muscles under his hand & the sharp way Richard held his gaze made his skin crawl. 

For the first time, Gavin felt like the man truly lived up to his obviously fake last name; there was a predatory glint in Richard’s eyes & Gavin got the distinct feeling he was seconds away from something very, very horrible.

Rarely in Gavin’s life did he feel like prey. Until Richard looked at him like _that._

 _“Waiting to see me?!_ You don’t get to come in here & like you fucking missed me when you’re the one who pushed me away. Shot me & pushed me the fuck away into a fucking freezing river! You don’t fucking belong here! Get the fuck out of my apartment! You _fucking_ ass-”

Before Gavin could finish his sentence, Richard forcibly grabbed hold of the hand he still had on the man’s chest. His mind immediately focused on the gangster’s vice-tight grip that was around his wrist, _around his prosthetic_ & it fucking _hurt._

Richards' other hand found its way quickly up to his neck and before Gavin knew it, he felt his back collide with a wall, again. _Fucking ouch._

His head was shoved hard against it, the hand around his throat a little too tight & Gavin swore he saw stars dance across his vision. He then felt the man press up against him.  
  
 _“Red.”_ Richard purred by Gavin’s ear, his voice now had it’s usual charm but the danger underneath twisted it into something dark. A warning.

Gavin’s nostrils flared as he watched Richard pull back & he held the man’s gaze. A shark-like grin spread itself slowly across his features & coupled with that hard hand around his throat, Gavin couldn’t help the tinge that started to creep along his cheeks. 

_Why now? Why fucking now?!_ It was a small miracle Gavin wasn’t hard in his pants too.

Richard knew exactly what he was doing & Gavin wasn’t sure who to angrier at, the fucking smug prick for doing it or himself for falling so easy for it. 

“Oh, Red.” 

The grip around his throat loosened just slightly & Gavin managed to rearrange himself. Forcibly breaking himself from Richard’s hold, he forced the gangster to change his stance. 

Instead, Richard no boxed him in, arms either side of him, hands pressed against the wall either side of Gavin’s head & he looked at the detective in a calculating way, studying him with a cool sense of curiosity.

When Gavin didn’t falter, the gangster then decided to pull back with an almost bored, disinterested look settling over his face instead. But Gavin could have sworn he saw a look of hurt flash momentarily through those silver-grey eyes.

“You know I only did that to save your life & quite frankly, I’m offended that you think otherwise.” Richard spoke in a voice that was strangely devoid of anything & Gavin found it increasingly hard to get a read on the man. 

Gavin studied him for a moment before he burst out into nervous laughter. 

“You fucking expect me to believe _that?”_ Even as he said the words, Gavin knew they lacked the conviction he was after because Richard was right back looking at him. Studying him in a way that should have made his skin crawl but Gavin found the action strangely calming. Why? He didn’t fucking know.

“I know you’re smart, Detective, so you know I didn’t have a lot of options that evening.” Richard paused, but when Gavin didn’t say anything, he continued. “It did… _surprise_ me, seeing you there, but I did the best I could with the situation at hand. Did you actually want me to kill you? Is that it? Why do you find it so hard to believe that I wanted to see you now? To see if you were okay? I’ve _missed_ you.”  
  
If Gavin didn’t know better, he would have sworn that Richard was pleading with him. 

Those grey eyes were twinkling in just the right way, on just the right side of warm & comforting that Gavin was slowly starting to crumble against his better judgement. He _knew_ Richard was playing him, he always fucking was but right now he didn’t care. Gavin _had missed him too_ .

Whenever they were together, there were sparks. Not quite the romantic kind, but the dangerous kind. The kind of static that lingered in the atmosphere just a few moments before lightning struck. The static that set your hair on end, that had a tingling feeling running through your extremities, leaving a gut feeling that something was about to happen.

Richard was the smell before the rain, the static before the storm & Gavin was a goddamn fucking lightning rod.With a dejected sigh, Gavin wrapped his arms around himself & Richard took that as his cue to move up to him, pulling him into a hug. His arms were comforting, warm & fuck, it was just what Gavin needed. 

His tiredness caught up with him & he leaned into the gangster’s hold, snuggling into his embrace as the man ran soothing circles over his back. Was this how it was always going to be? Throwing acid laced words until they tired one another out & all that was left was ashes?

A loud bang at the front door of the apartment instantly had the pair freeze, Gavin’s thoughts coming to an abrupt halt.  
  
 _“DAD!_ ”

Oh right. _Emma_.

“Dad! Open this fucking door, right now!” Emma shouted from the corridor, pounding against the door again for good measure.  
  
Gavin pulled back & shot Richard’s puzzled expression, a sheepish look of apology before he finally found his voice. “That’s uh, that’s-”

“That is your daughter & she sounds _very_ angry.”  
  
“Yep.”

Richard let Gavin go & the man straightened up. Things were all happening too fast, he needed time to think & Richard definitely shouldn’t be here. But before his brain could actually, y’know, think, Gavin’s hand found its way into one of Richard’s & he was leading them both over to the front door. 

He stopped, his free hand resting on the door handle.

“You fucking behave or I swear to God.” Gavin’s voice was all warning, more serious than it had been when he was shouting at him a few moments prior.

A faint scowl settled onto Richard’s features. “Your fickle trust in me is understandable, Detective, but I assure you that I am in no way going to cause harm to her. I know you have no reason to trust me, but you have my word I would never allow anything to happen to her. I would kill anyone who even looked at her in the wrong way as she is important to you.” Richard answered in a smugly cool tone, giving a curt nod of his head.  
  
 _Just like how Joseph was important to me? Didn’t stop you from shoving him in a river too._

Gavin thought as he narrowed his eyes & shot the man a frown. A hundred things started to race through his mind about just how bad Richard was, but he still couldn’t help himself. 

“Don’t make me regret this.” He muttered as he opened the apartment door. 

The man’s statement was a weird reassurance because deep down, Gavin knew Richard would never hurt her & at least he would be true to his words on that front. _He’d kill for her._

Emma was staring angrily at them from the corridor & the two of them were staring back at her. Gavin noticed her temper wane & she retreated back into her quiet shell as she finally realised a stranger was present. 

“And who might this be?” Richard was the first one to speak, finally breaking the silence that was sitting way too fucking heavy in the air between them.  
  
The voice Richard had spoken with was one he had never heard before. It had been overly polite, like he was on his best behavior & Jesus fucking Christ, either the man had some experience dealing with kids or he was just _that_ fucking manipulative. Gavin literally had no idea anymore. 

Emma looked hesitantly at Gavin, searching for some sort of reassurance, so Gavin shot Richard a look before he let go of his hand & crouched down. Arthur had suddenly appeared out of nowhere like he always fucking managed to do & Gavin gave his cat a quick pet before he turned his attention to Emma, pulling his daughter into a hug. 

“Em, I know we don’t talk about it, but if you use your voice again & make him look like a fool.. I’ll take you wherever you want to go. Science museum, fucking space camp, you choose.” Gavin whispered into the crook of her neck.

His daughter still clung to him. “Wherever I want to go?” Emma whispered right back in a tone that Gavin knew meant she was glaring. 

Gavin pulled back & nodded, Emma’s glare softening as he held out his pinky finger. Without hesitation, Emma hooked her pinky with her dad’s & gave a single nod of her head. With that, Emma stepped around Gavin & up to Richard, who had taken up leaning against the kitchen door frame & she stuck her hand out for him to shake.

If Richard had overheard, he didn’t say anything as he raised an eyebrow, the tiniest of smirks tugging at the left corner of his lips, but he crouched down & shook her hand nonetheless. After a moment’s hesitation, Emma actually fucking opened her mouth to speak.

“Emma De Santa Reed. Hacker, recently acclaimed car thief, kid genius. And you-” She tipped her head as she fixed Richard with a cold, distrust laced glare. “-look a whole lot like Connor Wolf.”

 _Clever girl._ Was all Gavin could think as Emma used an alias in regards to her last two names to be sure her names couldn’t be tracked back to Kamski. 

Shit, was his kid a criminal? Maybe her & Richard would get along well. Wait, who the fuck was Connor & how the fuck did Emma know Richard’s last name?

In one of those blink & you miss it moments which commonly revolved around Richard’s facial features, Gavin could have sworn he saw Richard’s eyes widen ever so slightly in surprise at Emma’s words.

“Richard Wolf, actually.” The gangster corrected. “Connor is my brother. Am I correct in assuming you know he is one of the CEOs of A9 Genetics?” He asked as his eyes flickered to Gavin, who had taken up standing right beside Emma in what was clearly a very protective stance.

Gavin had been watching the scene unfold before his eyes with careful scrutiny, his mind palace keeping track of Emma’s stress levels to be sure she was okay. He sort of felt that it was almost a violation of privacy & vowed that as soon as this little fucking interaction was over, he’d stop keeping tabs on Em as he didn’t feel right in doing so.

Despite it all, Emma held her ground better around strangers than Gavin ever did. She nodded in response to Richard’s question & before Richard could say whatever the fuck it was that was right on his tongue, Gavin cut in.

“I didn’t know you had a brother- Then again, I don’t know much about you, do I?”  
  
He couldn’t help himself, those thoughts that had been running through his head were still there. They were like ants in his brain & they wouldn’t fucking leave. Swinging from defensive to angry to _loving_ was starting to wear him the fuck out.

“Two, actually. Connor & Cain.” Richard spoke in a flat tone, standing himself back up to his full height & brushing out the creases that sat in his shirt. “I could say the same for you, Gavin, you have been rather secretive yourself.”

“Oh go fuck yourself.” Gavin angrily scoffed in response, earning a glare from Emma at his use of language. “You ain’t fuckin’ been here enough for me to open the fuck up.”

Another glare, followed by a punch in his non-wounded shoulder before she started playing with Arthur & one of his toys, knowing she shouldn’t butt into her dad’s business.

“Can I talk to you for a minute? Outside? _Now_?” Gavin spoke in Richard’s direction. It wasn’t a question that he wanted an answer for, it was a fucking demand & he refused to allow Richard to have a choice in the matter.

After telling Emma to stay with Arthur, whispering to ask her to put the blue bottles in the fridge, Gavin grabbed Richard by the wrist. He all but dragged him out of the apartment & into the hall, slamming the door behind him.

“What the _phck_ do you think you’re doing?” He internally cringed at the mispronunciation that always slipped out when he was particularly stressed out. He saw the smirk on Richard’s face & Gavin got right up in the man’s face, glaring up at him. He’d fucking love to punch it right off his smug face, again; it’s what the man deserved, but he refrained.

“Oh, I _do_ apologise if I overstepped a boundary, Detective. Although, I am not the one swearing in front of a child-” Richard spoke in a voice that was laced in sarcasm & Gavin just fucking knew that the prick couldn’t utter the words ‘I’m sorry’ with any form of sincerity even if they’d save his goddamn life.

“Oh fuck you! Again, why the fuck are you in my apartment? Don’t fuckin’ say you were waiting for me again because I don’t want to hear it!” Gavin’s thoughts from earlier came bubbling back up to the surface, but this time he wanted answers without the use of violence.

“Is that so hard for you to believe? Do you think so lowly of yourself that you refuse to believe that I wanted to know if you were alive or not? None of your, or should I say my boys-in-blue were of any help trying to track you, or that fucking SWAT Captain down after I ordered him to pull you out.” Richard’s voice was so infuriatingly distant & hollow, Gavin found himself wishing that Richard would just get angry, at least then it would show he fucking cared. Just a little bit.

 _“‘Ordered’?!_ Don’t you mean _shoved_ him in?!” Gavin spat & as Richard leaned in closer with an amused spark in his eyes, Gavin shoved at his chest to get the gangster to take a step back. “Just like how _you_ shoved me in?! You fucking shot me!”

He felt like they were going in circles, same reasons for his anger being fueled, yet Nines deflected in the same old way.

Richard politely decided to remind Gavin that if he was going to argue that way, then he should remember that Gavin was the one who got the ‘rat’ to stab Richard in the first place. To be honest, Gavin had forgotten all about that little detail.

Most of Gavin’s recollection of that night was rather fuzzy though; knife to neck, knife gone. Gun pointed at him, gun shot. That was about all he could properly remember, so anything else that happened, well, he just had to rely on whoever was telling him was telling the truth.

“Yeah, well… fuck you!” Gavin acrimoniously grunted, too fucking worn out to come up with a decent argument in return, Richard always seemed to manage to get let off the hook when he deserved a hell of lot worse. 

Instead, his hands found their way to the bottom of Richard’s shirt, taking note how it was crinkled as though he had slept in it & unbuttoned the bottom few buttons without too much hassle so he could tug it up to inspect Richard’s abdomen.

The gangster’s hands came to rest over Gavin’s wrists to try & stop his actions. His voice smooth & sultry, “What are you doing there, Red?” 

Funny how there was only ever any emotion in Richard’s voice when it involved clothes being taken off. Funny how it always made Gavin weak at the knees, ready to crumple before the fucker, ready to forgive instead of argue.

“Fuck you, I’m checking to see your wounds, Dipshit.” Gavin paused & sighed. “I shouldn’t have shoved you… Or punched you.” He continued trying to push up Richard’s shirt & the man quickly relented, allowing Gavin to inspect the small gauze pad that had been taped in place, tucked a little beneath the waistline of Richard’s pants. No blood was seeping through, that was a good sign at least.  
  
 _Ready to forgive instead of argue_.

Surely Richard should have been in more pain than what he was showing? It was as if he hadn’t been stabbed at all. Gavin sure as shit felt the pain coursing relentlessly through his shoulder at every fucking movement.

“I should be arresting your ass.” Gavin’s voice was moody as he re-fastened the buttons on Richard’s shirt, choosing to leave it untucked though.

Resting his hands on Gavin’s hips so he could pull the detective back against him, Richard leaned in close to murmur right against Gavin’s ear, “Maybe I’ll let you put me in handcuffs, but we both know it will not be because you’re arresting me, Red. If you wanted me behind bars, you would have done it already.”

Richard’s voice was hot against Gavin’s ear & it took a whole fucking lot for Gavin to push down the coil of lust that swam through his abdomen. He pulled back just enough to glare right at Richard.

“Does everything always allude back to sex with you?”

“What can I say? Your temper is less… hostile afterwards.”

A faint flush spread across Gavin’s cheeks, but it was less bashfulness & more shame at the bluntness in Richard’s words.

With his defenses already running high, Gavin couldn’t hold it back as he snapped back, “‘Less hostile’? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Red, surely you have not failed to realise that you have a temper. Whilst I adore that fire that burns within you, your constant need to fight can get rather... tiresome, no?”

 _“Tiresome?!”_ Gavin scoffed but ducked his head, looking at his feet rather than Richard’s eyes. 

That superior, know-it-all tone should have made him angry but he knew it was true. Richard wasn’t exactly the first guy who had said that to him - Gavin had had a few flings with guys here or there before he’d met Richard. 

Almost all of them brought up about how when he got dicked down, he actually fucking _behaved_ himself. That was before they all left, never coming back once they deemed that his overall personality wasn’t worth the alright sex they got out of it.

Yeah, he really knew how to attract guys who treated him like fucking garbage. From one prick to the next, no guy actually stuck around for anything more than the sex.

Gavin knew he was a lot to handle, he was all too fucking aware of it, especially after the accident. Richard was the first person he had braved being with since it happened, considering relationships only amplified that anger that always seemed to be bubbling right beneath the surface. So he’d be fucking lying if he said he wasn’t hurt by Richard’s words.

When Gavin refused to look up from where he was staring at the floor, he felt Richard’s hand ever so gently cup his jaw, tipping his head up which gave him no choice but to look up at the man, his brows knitted tightly together.

“Gavin, what I’m saying is you become… softer. Less intense. I get to see you for you, rather than the bravado of picking fights out of every sentence that is spoken.” As he explained himself, Richard’s features visibly softened. 

However, a small crease did form between his brows as he studied Gavin’s features. For just a moment, a cold dread washed over Gavin’s whole being, sinking right through to his metal bones at the sudden fear that Richard could see his LED.

“I like that side of you too.” Was all Gavin could whisper out, one of his hands coming up to instinctively tug at a few strands of hair to pull them over his forehead as his anxieties crept up on him.

Despite his poor wording, Gavin also liked the soft side of Richard that came after sex. The kisses along his shoulder-blades through his shirt, the hands that traced over the scars that sat beneath his shirt. Coming down from their post-sex high meant they could just exist in a little bubble where nothing else mattered. Just for a little while.

Thankfully though, Gavin’s sudden fear of Richard seeing his LED was quickly debunked without Gavin digging his own grave first for once. The criminal bastard finally spoke up after what felt like an eternity of him studying Gavin’s scarred features.

“Seeing this bruising…” Richard said as he reached out his hand, trailing one of his fingers along one of the scars on his face that ran across Gavin’s nose & cheek. It was shadowed by a deep purpling bruising from where he had been booted in the face. “...It makes me have no regrets putting a bullet in that fucking moron’s skull.”

If anyone else had the audacity to stare, let alone touch Gavin’s scars, he’d have broken his knuckles on their nose so fucking fast. But somehow, Richard could pass that barrier without getting decked. 

The only other person who could do that, Gavin had already pushed away, even though he was the one who pulled Gavin out of the river. A small part of him couldn’t help but think that maybe he was pushing away all the wrong people.

“That why you killed him?” Right, the guy that had a knife to Gavin’s neck. Richard capped him after watching him boot him in the face & ribs & whatever the fuck else he did. “‘Cause he beat the shit out of me & _you_ let it happen?!”

Richard proceeded to spew some shit about how he had a reputation to uphold, how he didn’t enjoy seeing Gavin be hurt in that way & how he didn’t want to shoot him. He also explained how he wanted to be the one to pull him out of the river, not Allen, how he wanted to be he one to save his fucking life, how he cared about Gavin-

Stupidly, Gavin believed every word that fell from the gangster’s mouth.

“Funny way of showin’ it, Dipshit. I nearly fucking died because of you. _You,_ Richard. Nobody else is at fault here! I bet you fuckin’ wanted to pull that trigger, huh? Seeing as you like pointing your goddamn gun at me! Really, Rich? The goddamn fucking mafi-”

The end of Gavin’s sentence got muffled & cut off as Richard shoved him up against the wall opposite, a little more gentle than his earlier shove, thankfully. His hand clamped over Gavin’s mouth as he shot Gavin an ice-cold warning glare that sent a shiver down his spine. 

It echoed their earlier exchange in his apartment & it made a discomfort sit in his stomach. He couldn’t let this become a running theme. _How easily Richard had been forgiven._

The man ever so slightly motioned his head barely a fraction of an inch to the right, glancing in the direction of the stairwell. Gavin followed his subtle glance, one of his neighbours making her way into the hallway in which they were standing.

Richard’s hand fell from Gavin’s mouth, the detective harshly nipping at his palm & he instead rested his hand on Gavin’s hip instead, thumb rubbing soothing circles as a silent apology for shoving him harder than necessary this time.

“Hey, Gav.” The tall, slender woman with a bobbed, brunette haircut greeted him as she headed towards the door opposite Gavin’s. She flashed a faint smirk as she spoke, “Sorry to interrupt-”

“Oh please, Yoko. You just finished work?” Gavin asked, favouring making small talk with his neighbour over dealing with Richard’s unhinged fucking antics. Besides, it was just funny to make Richard wait before he got his attention again - the man could do with learning he wasn’t the center of the goddamn universe all the time.

His eyes flickered to Richard’s & he fixed him with a sour glare, to which the gangster backed down & moved to politely stand beside Gavin.

“Uh huh.” Yoko nodded with a vacant smile on her face that Gavin could see straight through. He’d seen that look before. As a cop, he’s seen that vacant look every single time he had to deal with people who were hiding things.

“You know my door’s always open, yeah? Alcohol is in the cabinet under the sink. That offer will never go away. I mean, you literally have a fuckin’ handprint saved to it so if you need to let yourself in, you can. Even if I ain’t home, you know I hardly fuckin’ sleep too so-”

Gavin hadn’t been in his apartment for long. He moved right after the accident, or at least, after he got out of Cyberlife & into a Cyberlife secured complex with high security because it helped to put Hank, Tina & Elijah’s minds at ease.

Fucking high security that Richard always seemed to surpass with no qualm. 

After a few weeks of living there, Gavin had bumped into Yoko at three in the fucking morning. She was sitting on the steps to their floor, her once flawless makeup all cried off & streaked down her cheeks. 

Gavin simply sat beside her after unintentionally making her jump & offered her the coffee he had just brought from the only coffee shop that was open all hours. They just sat together as Yoko sobbed on his shoulder about the toll her job was taking on her while she drank his coffee.

Gavin didn’t know what her job entailed & quite frankly, it wasn’t his place to ask. All he knew was she worked at night & came back anywhere between three & six A.M & due to Gavin’s insomnia, they often met somewhere in the middle.

Some days she came back happy as ever & others, she looked like a wreck that had tried to piece itself back together before anybody noticed that it had been shattered. On the night they met, they headed into Gavin’s apartment & she spent the rest of the morning there. 

As Gavin made them breakfast, he was quick to learn that she had nobody else. No family & her friends were on the other side of the city. She was lonely. Before she left though, Gavin gave her handprint access to his apartment & told her that she never needed permission to come & go as she pleased.

“Another bad day on the job again?” Yoko piped up, a sad smile on her face at Gavin’s bruising.

“Something like that.” Gavin feigned an amused chuckle. “You shoulda seen the other guy!”

“I bet!” Yoko smirked ever so slightly & Gavin was glad that his lies so easily fooled her, _they fooled everyone._ Her gaze shifted to look up at Richard, who smiled so genuinely at her, it sort of surprised Gavin. “You the boyfriend?”

Gavin’s cheeks flushed bright pink.

He ducked his head against Richard’s bicep at the question. It was quite the assumption, but that was Yoko for you. Okay, fuck, sure, Gavin had been kinda wondering what the fuck they were exactly. He wanted to know if Richard was just there for sex rather than an actual fucking relationship, but he didn’t have the guts to actually ask. The fear of what the answer might be held him back & hurt him more than he’d like to admit. Yeah, fuck, there was no way he could get out of this one without making an absolute ass of himse-

“Yes. I’m the boyfriend.” Richard’s soft voice cut through Gavin’s overactive thoughts & the detective had no fucking clue what else to do besides stay pressed against Richard’s side, as if it’d somehow hide him away from the world.

Oh! _Oh._ Boyfriend. Oh fuck, Richard was his _boyfriend._

“You look after him, ‘kay? This one has been through hell yet somehow made it out. If you don’t treat him well, I’ll know.” Yoko playfully glared at Richard. “He doesn’t let people in easily. Don’t fuck with that.”

Richard nodded, glancing down at Gavin before planting a soft kiss to his hair. “I’ll keep him safe.”

With that, Yoko stole a quick hug from Gavin, waved goodbye to them both then disappeared into her apartment.

“‘I’ll keep him safe’” Gavin pettily mimicked, glaring up at Richard even if it lacked any true offense. His cheeks were still lightly dusted with a subtle pink beneath the bruising. “You’re doing a bad job. So, uh, boyfriend, huh? So you’re not just here to get fucked?”

A small smirk tugged at the left side of Richard’s face as he ran a hand through Gavin’s ever disheveled hair. “Do not be ridiculous. Do you think I would go through so much hassle just to see you if that were the case? If nothing physical ever happened between us, I would still be infatuated by you.”

“You’re just saying that to try & get off the hook because you _shot_ your _cop_ boyfriend.” Gavin quipped.

_Ha, they were boyfriends. No, wait-_

Richard shifted, standing back in front of Gavin with one hand on Gavin’s bad hip, the other cupping the detective’s cheek as his piercing grey eyes twinkled, looking down at _his_ detective.

“Allow me to make it up to you?”

_No. Run while you still can, Gavin. Labels mean you’re done for._

“Fine.” Gavin grumbled back, trying to hold his glare. But the longer he stared up at Richard, the more his glare softened. Fucking _Richard_. Gavin didn’t know how the hell did it. How he so easily managed to wriggle beneath his skin & get away with it.

Gavin knew why. He was a grade A fucking idiot, that’s why.

“You’ve got a hell of a lot of making up to do, y’know that, right? You so much as even point your gun at me again, we’re done. You hear me?” Gavin wasn’t fucking around this time. His voice was serious, if not a little hostile. “I’m giving you a chance here, Rich. I’ve forgiven you so many times, but this-” He gestured to the space between them. “-This is all over if you hurt me again, or someone I love. I can’t put Em at risk because of you. Do we have a fuckin’ understanding?”

It felt fucking good to finally face Richard with his thoughts & let the fucker know that he’s was on thin fucking ice. 

No more shoving each other, no more punches from Gavin’s behalf, no more guns, threats, needless violence between them, whatever the fuck else. If this was going to work, whatever _this_ was, they needed to be able to trust one another.

The look that he was met with gave Gavin the distinct sense that it wasn’t him who was laying out the ground rules. But still, Richard nodded.

“Good. No more fucking lies either, but I don’t wanna know what the fuck you do, alright? Outside of your tech shit, I really don’t wanna know. Understood?”

“Understood.”

Once back in his apartment, the trio ended up staying up for the rest of the night together. Well, almost. They had all changed into comfier clothes, Richard was in Gavin’s ‘Detroit Police Department’ sweater that he had borrowed a while back. This sparked a small conversation where Gavin mentioned it suited him & he should become an informant for the DPD. Richard quickly retorted with saying Gavin should work for him instead.

They agreed to disagree.

Once in sweatpants too, Richard got comfortable on one end of the couch, Gavin on the other with Emma snuggled up to his side, her legs kicked over Richard’s lap, effectively locking both Richard & Gavin in place.

Emma & Gavin then proceeded to educate Richard on the wonders of shitty, old movies. There was a bit of violence & gore that a kid probably shouldn’t have been watching, but they thought it was hilarious getting to hear Richard complain about how unrealistic ‘The Godfather’ was.

Emma hadn’t spoken since her little introduction earlier on, but Gavin was pleasantly surprised to learn that Richard had some knowledge on sign language & had a few silent conversations with her before she fell asleep as the sun was rising.

While she slept, Gavin & Richard spent the rest of the morning talking about the plans Richard had mentally plotted during the particularly boring parts of the movies he was forced to watch.

He reminded Gavin that he owed him a date before the whole ordeal from the other night got in the way. Keeping in mind Gavin’s Italian heritage, Richard offered to take him on a date to his favourite Italian restaurant on the west side of the city later that evening.

Gavin agreed & not long after, Chloe came to pick up Emma. To say the woman was displeased was a motherfucking understatement. To be fair, she was more disappointed over the fact that Gavin hadn’t told her he was stealing Emma away for the evening than she was over them stealing her car. 

Richard had conveniently disappeared off to Gavin’s bedroom when Chloe came to pick up Emma & after giving his daughter a way-too-tight ‘see you soon’ hug, he shut the door behind them once they left. He couldn’t help but feel as though his apartment was all too fucking empty without her.

Whenever Emma left, she always managed to take his sense of home with her, so all that remained was four walls & a roof. A shell. 

“Richard?” Gavin called out as he sleepily dragged himself towards his bedroom, rubbing at his eyes in the process.

Richard stepped up to him, closing the gap between them to kiss Gavin softly & for once, it didn’t get too heated; landing them half naked in Gavin’s bed, kissing every inch of each other’s bodies before they inevitably had sex. 

Instead, it stayed gentle & when the gangster pulled back, he nudged his nose gently against Gavin’s cheek, whispering, “I never wanted you to see the life I lead, Red. Not when it gets that messy.”

Gavin didn’t quite know what to say in response. A part of him, the part that had the flame Richard mentioned earlier, wanted to argue. Deep down, he couldn’t shake the subtle feeling that somehow, Richard was wrapping him around his finger & _wanted_ to drag him into the pits of hell with him. Idiotically, Gavin was going to follow him down.

As fatigue kicked in full throttle, Gavin realised he was actually too fucking tired to argue & leaned sleepily against Richard’s chest. His head rested in just the right spot so he could listen to the calming rhythm of the man’s beating heart.

“Stay.” Was all Gavin could whisper.

With an ever so soft chuckle that rumbled from somewhere deep within Richard’s chest, he murmured back, “Of course.”

Satisfied, Gavin pulled away & flopped face down on his bed with a quiet groan as pain sparked through his shoulder. He really should brush his teeth, maybe shower, maybe take his fucking shoes off that he had slipped on to have a smoke just before Emma left. But, he just had no fucking energy.

“Will you be here when I wake up later? Or are you gonna be a fuckin’ ghost again?” Gavin mumbled into his pillow, his voice meek.

He vaguely registered the sound of clothes rustling & put it down to Richard stripping down to his boxers. Then, he felt the gangster carefully make work of getting Gavin out of his sneakers & socks that he was too tired to do himself. “No ghosts this time.”

Richard leaned over, hooking his fingers in the waistband of Gavin’s sweatpants. “Lift.”

Sleepily, Gavin complied, lifting his hips just enough for Richard to tug his sweatpants down, stripping them off of the sleepy detective.

“Are you staying in your sweater, or do you need help taking it off?”

Gavin grunted out something nonsensical in response that almost resembled a ‘fuck off’ & Richard ever so faintly chuckled, leaving Gavin in his sweater. Richard folded their clothes up & after a few moments, he slipped into bed beside Gavin, looping an arm around the man’s middle to ever so gently pull the detective so his back was flush against the gangster’s chest.

He peppered soft kisses against the back of Gavin’s neck until he heard the detective begin to ever so lightly snore. It was only then that he reached over to carefully take his phone from where he had put it on the nightstand to check on how things were running in his absence.

After his... _outburst_ that resulted in multiple SWAT members who were in his pocket left dead, Richard had disappeared off the radar as he searched for Gavin nonstop for two days. He had refused to believe that Allen never pulled him out of the water.

The only person who knew of his whereabouts was Brittney, who he had left in charge while he was gone. He ordered her to update him on everything & she did just that, despite her mild bitching about deserving a raise for putting up with Richard’s shit.

Everything that the cops saw, or _thought_ they saw in regards to the bodies of the SWAT members dotted around the warehouses was conveniently covered up & in turn, hid any evidence of _Nines_ being there, or walking away that night.

The only people who could account for him being there were Gavin Reed, Joseph Allen & Rupert Merigold. Nines got a small sense that Gavin wouldn’t say a word & in turn, Allen’s… infatuation with Gavin meant he would keep his mouth shut as he didn’t want to lose Gavin for good.

Then there was Rupert. Just like Gavin, he had disappeared without a trace & although Nines had no clue where he was, when he did track the little rat down, the guy wouldn’t be a problem anymore either.

Just like that, Nines would be untouchable. He had everyone he needed right in the palm of his hand whether they knew it or not.

Getting the all clear text from Brittney, the only thing that loomed over Nines’ head like an angry shadow was the threat Amanda had made in regards to him killing Gavin. She had given him twenty-one days to get some useful information on Cyberlife or Gavin would be dead.

That left him with two days until his time was up & Amanda would no doubt not only have a hit out on Gavin, but on Nines too. Not only for refusing to kill Gavin, but for disobeying her at every fucking turn as well. The longer he spent with Gavin, the less he found he was inclined to feed into Amanda’s maniacal behaviour - he found himself not wanting to chase down Cyberlife workers for leads anymore.

Tucking his phone beneath the pillow, Nines nuzzled his head against the back of Gavin’s neck, allowing his guard to drop just enough for him to finally relax now that he had his detective back. 

Clinging as tightly as he could onto the man beside him, Nines slowly drifted into a desperately needed, deep sleep.

The pair peacefully slept for a few hours together until Gavin began to dream of falling, of brown eyes watching as he was pushed, of _Nines_ on the phone giving the order to drop him & he jolted awake from the nightmare right before his back crashed with the concrete. 

Stress levels bombarded his bleary vision, warning him that he was in danger due to his heart racing at twice the normal fucking speed. Sweat caused his sweater to cling to his body, his spine glowing ever so subtly through it as the fabric stuck to his back. The nanites on his arm were receding in patches beneath his sleeve, sections of his blue & white chassis showing on his hand. 

Most prominently though, his LED was spiraling a bright, angry red & it managed to illuminate the dimly lit room.

As Gavin fought to catch his breath, hands scrabbling in panic for the neckline of his sweater to pull at it to stop the feeling of it choking him, he barely registered the concerned voice coming from beside him.

_“Gavin?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, OH?! Is everything going to come to light now?  
> As always, thank you for your kind words. Also, I do hope you all are staying safe out there in the real world in these times of crisis<3


	9. Where Your Secrets Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines is adamant on believing he is in control of his emotions. Gavin, on the other hand, is falling for every word the gangster says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is 12k words of Nines being a piece of shit. If you thought he was being nice in the last chapter, then I am sorry to disappoint.  
> Just a brief warning for implied/mentions of past torture on both Nines' & Gavin's behalf! Nothing too graphic, but it is still spoken about more than once, right at the start & then when Gavin opens up about his dream.  
> Oh & of course a bit of a warning for Nines' mindset of being a manipulative piece of garbage.  
> As always, just read with caution<3

Nines let out a soft sigh as the hot water from the shower ran along his body, tipping his head ever so slightly into the two caring hands that were running through his hair. His eyes fluttered shut & he allowed himself to get lost in the gentle sensations, just for a moment.

In doing so, his mind began to stray.

“Run another test.”

“But, ma’am-”

_“Run. It.”_

Amanda’s cold voice cut off the voice of the A9 Genetics employee as they were trying to inform her that running more tests on her new pet project could be detrimental to its well being. Both physically & mentally.

But, she didn’t care. She had already lost eight other clones. She wasn’t about to lose the ninth one. It did not matter if it suffered. It was a fast healer & it would learn to survive. It _had_ to.

That’s how they proceeded to run test after test, just to see how far they could push the clone’s body until it completely broke. Amanda demanded to find out how far the body she had perfected could be broken before its advanced healing stopped working.

In Amanda’s mind, she refused to grow attached to the thing she had created until she knew this one would survive. That this one would not leave her like the others. So what if it begged for the doctors to stop? Crying out that it could feel every _single_ thing they were doing to it? That just meant it was alive. That it was a survivor.

As the weeks passed, the clone’s health did not falter. Its body healed from every incision that was made, even the deeper ones; every broken bone healed just as flawlessly.

Eventually, the clone stopped begging for them to stop. Instead, it just accepted that this was how its life was going to be. 

Only then did Amanda quit the tests & deem ‘it’ a ‘he’. 

Sure, he shared his half of his DNA with Cain, but Amanda’s tests had more of a hand in shaping him into the man he was than Nines cared to admit. He was cut-throat, vicious & anything good he felt he quickly squashed. So much so, that any good emotion he could only mimic; life was cruel & so was he.

So he manipulated.

Nines wasn’t built on niceties; in his life, he couldn’t be weak, he was a killer. He manipulated, he lied, he did what he had to get what he wanted & no one was able to stop him.

Ten years had passed since he was tortured day in, day out; Nines could never forget it. He vowed to himself that one day… One day, he would get his revenge, it was only fair. An eye for an eye. He didn’t know when that day would be, but he liked to think it would be when Amanda least expected it- 

_“Richard.”_

When no reply came from Nines, that incessantly soft voice piped up again, _“Richard…”_

“ _Gavin_.” Nines replied, it was filled with a fake sweetness that he thought the man was expecting to hear. His eyes stayed shut as he was shunted back to the present. 

He should have felt an overwhelming sense of calm as he stood there in Gavin’s arms, but he didn’t. All Nines felt was annoyed. Annoyed at being interrupted even though his thoughts were unpleasant, annoyed that he had to yet again, put more effort into faking being the man’s attentive & caring boyfriend.

_Boyfriend._

Yes, Nines had decided to call him that last night before the detective could object. If it made Gavin feel like he was there for him, it was a price he was willing to pay. All those niceties with Emma & before they had fallen asleep together? Just a means to an end. One that it seemed he wasn’t quite done with.

So Nines wrapped his arms securely around Gavin's frame, playing into the caring role that was expected of him & kissed the top of his head.

There were many ways he had expected this night to go. From Gavin storming out to have a smoke & cool off, to him demanding Nines to leave. From arguments that ended in angry sex, to a punch being thrown - all of his predictions involved Gavin & his hostilities. After all, he was the type of man that garnered that reaction.

But, what Nines got was what he had least expected. 

It seemed to be a running theme with this particular detective & the least he could say was that this relationship was keeping him on his toes. 

It all started when Gavin woke from a nightmare.

Nines was & always had been, a relatively light sleeper. Whether he was made that way, or had adapted to always be on alert, that didn’t change the fact that he woke up at the slightest of sounds. He supposed that’s what happened when multiple hits had been put out on him over the course of his life. People of varying ranks and organisations wanted to take the prize pool that was on the infamous ‘Nines’’ head.

Wanted dead or alive. It didn’t matter. He had pissed off enough people through stealing land, backstabbing through trades, deals, import & export runs that maybe he should have been counting his blessings. 

But he also knew he was fucking untouchable, so why should he? If anyone dared to try anything, they usually ended up with a knife in their gut & tossed in the river. That much power was bound to attract attention but nobody seemed to understand that it was _his_ & his alone & that in order to keep it, he would do literally anything.

So comforting a man through what ever the fuck was happening was mere child’s play in comparison. Truth be told, in that moment, lying curled up against Gavin’s back, he didn’t really care about whatever the detective was going through, he was more concerned about the looming death threat from Amanda. 

He couldn’t afford another argument, so he knew he had to fake the right emotions & show the man what he wanted to see. He had to get him through this inconvenient outburst & then he could get to focusing on what really mattered: working out exactly how to get Gavin to his ‘mother’.

The man was whimpering ever so softly, shifting in his sleep as his hand that was resting beside his head on his pillow began to grip at it rather tightly. His fingers began furling & unfurling against the fabric as though it were the only thing he could hold onto.

Was the man having a dream? A nightmare?

Nines nestled his face against the back of Gavin’s neck & began to whisper soft nothings as one of his hands slid beneath Gavin’s sweater. 

_Fake anything enough times & it becomes second nature. _

He traced gentle shapes on the detective’s toned stomach, trying to ease the tension in Gavin’s body so that he’d be able to drift back into a peaceful sleep.

_This is what normal people do, right?_

But Gavin’s panic only amplified; his whimpers turned into mildly coherent pleas as he whined for whatever was happening to stop. His breath quickened, whatever torture & trauma his mind was putting him through was clearly taking over & forcing him to live through it until he woke up.

_Gavin needs comfort, so that’s what I’ll give him._

The gangster had many talents, had to adapt to countless situations in the past when he had least expected it. He had faked almost everything good with regards to their relationship up until this point anyway, so faking comfort for his now boyfriend was nothing.

It didn’t take long for the detective to yank himself away from the comforting confines of Nines’ embrace, lurching up into a sitting position with a quiet yelp, as if whatever happened in his nightmare had seeped through into his reality.

Gavin’s shoulders rose then fell quicker & quicker in time with his panicked breaths. The infuriating Cyberlife branded sweater Gavin was wearing clinging to his frame from the thin layer of sweat that was coating his body; & if Nines wasn’t mistaken, if his eyes were not fooling him, he could have sworn he saw a subtle blue glow trying to creep its way through the fabric, but that was quickly forgotten.

It was when Gavin began to claw at the neckline of his sweater, soft stressed sounds escaping his lips that Nines truly slipped into the role of Gavin’s _boyfriend_. If Nines pushed him away now, there would be no end of delays that he simply couldn’t afford this close to Armageddon.

He needed to comfort his detective, to find out what happened in that fascinating brain of his so he could figure out how to fix things & stop them from happening again.

_“Gavin?”_

His voice was softer than he expected it to be, despite the subtle roughness of still being tired lacing his words. He could still surprise himself sometimes. Nines slowly sat himself up, reaching out to touch his detective, resting his hand gently against his arm.

Turning his head just enough to see where his name was being called from, despite being tired, Gavin's eyes were wide with fear. His chest was rising & falling just as quickly as it was before, disheveled hair sticking to his sweat dampened forehead. 

Most prominently though, was the bright ring sitting on the right side of Gavin’s head, right over his temple & illuminating the immediate space around them in a violent, angry red. 

Nines withdrew his hand. 

_What’s this? Has Gavin been managing to hide something from me all this time?_

For the first time, Nines was genuinely surprised in regards to his detective. The little red ring was rather fitting to Gavin’s personality; the little nickname he had given him & the flame that burned so strongly from within him.

Gavin must have noticed Nines’ staring, either that or he could see the dim hues of red that splashed across Nines’ features under the dull lighting of the room & was quick to look even more terrified. He then ducked his head as if he could hide away from who, or rather, _what_ he was.

_How fascinating._

How had he managed to keep it hidden? What else did Gavin have hiding beneath the surface? Was it something technology based? _Nines loved technology._

_How?_

Nines was able to find out _everything_ about someone. Whether through manipulation, coercion, _using his body_ \- it didn’t matter. No piece of information, no sliver of power was off limits or unknown to him; so to be confronted with something he didn’t know, it made him feel something he had never felt before. He felt intrigued. To find that in Gavin of all people, he almost felt… humbled. 

_“Fascinating.”_ Nines’ thoughts were murmured aloud, being the first to break the silence that Gavin was so adamant on keeping. This, however, only earned him to be pushed further away. Gavin was getting pretty damn good at doing that.

“I-” Gavin started, the rest of his sentence getting lost somewhere as he quickly dragged himself out of his bed with a slight stumble, clearly still disorientated from his nightmare.

Nines watched as the detective ran a hand through his sweat dampened hair, getting frustrated at it for falling over his face as he glared at Nines. 

“Fuck you!”

Ah, that didn’t take long at all.

“Gavin.” Nines tried again, getting out of bed in favour of standing in front of his detective, one hand coming up to cup his jaw so Gavin had no choice but to look up at him. The little ring was still illuminating them both in that same deep shade of red. 

“Cyberlife technology?” Nines asked, veiling it as concern, but really, he just wanted to learn. 

One did not need to know that Gavin was Elijah Kamski’s sibling to know that Cyberlife were the only company in the world that could pull something like _this_ off.

It was an odd question. It didn’t at all reflect the situation, it should have been more concerned, but the gangster couldn’t help it. 

The sour glower he was met with was fitting & was probably one that Nines should have been used to at this point, but that didn’t mean Gavin’s ability to stand up to him no matter what didn’t catch him off guard. Just a little bit. But then again, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love the challenge. He had always reveled in them. 

Said challenge was sparkling in Gavin’s sad eyes, it working as somewhat of a silent warning that Nines was on thin fucking ice.

His other hand came up so he could brush his thumb against the little, glowing disc. It was cool against his skin, sending a little static spark through his hand. He couldn’t take his eyes off it. 

“What is this connected to?”

Nines continued to marvel at the technology that stood before him, the only thing snapping him out of his less than subtle staring was Gavin’s left hand coming up to grip impossibly tight around his wrist. Literally prying his hand from where he was touching the little disc.

A look of irritation flashed momentarily over his features, but it quickly disappeared as his mind focused on the pain creeping through his wrist from the sheer force Gavin was using. It only amplified Nines’ absolute fascination as he saw the white framework that made up Gavin’s hand. There was no skin. Just a white chassis with the iconic shade of Cyberlife-blue making up the fabricated muscle detailing.

So, Gavin wasn’t completely human? _Interesting._

There was a clear look of horror on Gavin’s face. At what though, Nines wasn’t sure. Was it at the fact that he had found out? Or was it because the man was properly seeing himself for the first time & hated every part of it? 

_How could he hate it?_

The more the detective showed him, whether purposefully or not, the more Nines _needed._ Nines needed this man, needed the technology within him. The more he learned, the less inclined he began to feel in regards to handing him over to Amanda.

The man was everything he was absolutely infatuated by. Gavin was his, so why should he share? If he wasn’t his, then he soon would be. Nines had seen the darkness that the detective tried to keep hidden & he knew how easy it would be to bring that into the light. 

“Would you fuck off?!” Gavin finally snapped, shoving Nines’ hand away so could run his own through his hair. “I-I just woke up from a terrifying fucking nightmare, which, by the way, I’ve already lived through before! Then all you can do i-is ask questions & fucking stare?! Do you fucking hear yourself? Fuck you, Richard! You aren’t supposed to know any of this. It’s bad enough Joseph knows!”

Oh. _Oh._ So _Joseph_ knew all about this little secret? Before he found out? That fucking idiot of a SWAT Captain? He might have only reluctantly called Gavin his boyfriend, to keep the man placated & pliant, but he still couldn’t help the sudden jealousy that rose up violently within him. 

He wanted so badly to drag Gavin under, to show him the world in which he lived in all its glory. To hear that voice speak his _real_ name & not the name of his shell of a cover. Perhaps once Gavin learned the truth, he’d forget all about Joseph fucking Allen. Perhaps the man might even help kill him. 

The gangster knew the detective already trusted him, but he couldn’t help but wonder how far that trust went. Were those loyalties towards Nines so deep that they were starting to become knitted into the very fabric of his being? 

If he pulled one, would the whole of Gavin unravel & fall apart? Allowing Nines to put the man back together again? Fashion him after his image? Make him _better?_

“Tell me, were you going to live the rest of your life in denial? Hidden away & pretending that everything is normal? A sad, little, angry detective wasting his life away in the fucking police department when you could be so much more.” 

Nines paused, his expression hardening & the jealousy he was still feeling started to rear its ugly head. “Were you not even going to tell me that you are not even human?! I’m your boyfriend but you fucking told _Allen?!_ I know he has this... weird twisted thing for you, but I still can’t quite believe it. Next you’re going to tell me the feelings are mutual.”  
  
Gavin blinked, his brain not quite sure what to focus on first. The insult thinly disguised as a backhanded compliment, the fact that Richard was jealous over Joseph of all people, or the fact that his boyfriend had called him not human. 

Tears welled in his eyes but he willed them not to fall & soon his anger quickly outgrew his hurt.

 _“'Not human’_?!” Gavin shouted in Nines’ face, the little disc flickered angrily at his temple, perfectly matching the ire that he always seemed to have just bubbling below the surface. 

Nines barely hid his smirk, it started to tug at the corners of his mouth, but before he could argue back, Gavin continued. 

“Well I’m far more fucking human than you could _ever_ be!” He jabbed a finger right at where Nines’ heart sat in his chest, “You’re a fucking piece of shit, a fucking psycho killer & I-I can’t believe I keep letting you back in time after fucking time! I covered up the goddamn fucking Eden Club murder for you! As for Joseph, that’s none of your fucking business.You shot me, Richard & h-he… I hate you, I fucking h-hate you!.”

Those tears were brewing again in his eyes & this time, the adrenaline had passed. Gavin’s chest started to heave like he couldn’t breathe. Nines could tell that there was no fucking way they’d be able to make it through another screaming match, another fight, without ripping each other’s heads off. But perhaps there wasn’t going to be one, Gavin seemed distraught & the tears started falling.

Nines was many things, but he wasn’t stupid. Truth be told, he did not expect to be forgiven for shooting Gavin that night. He knew for a fact that the man had not let him off the hook so easily, even though Gavin seemed to yo-yo constantly between angry & loving, he had been able to see the reservedness in the man’s actions ever since he had met him in his apartment. 

Warring with himself almost, unsure as to what would set the gangster off, or perhaps unsure if Gavin could trust himself for longer than was wise around him, lest he fall prey to whatever twisted part was making him stay.

But to learn that Gavin had covered up the murder he committed, had indeed gone against all his beliefs as a cop… Perhaps Gavin was already starting to lean in one direction & didn’t even know it. 

Gavin was pulling apart pieces of himself to defend him & that thought pleased Nines greatly.

Now that he learned exactly what Gavin was? He could easily grow attached; he was a selfish man & when something was in his possession, he refused to let go. He wasn’t going to ruin Gavin’s life, he was simply going to make the man change for the better, so he no longer had to hide.

Gavin deserved more.

_‘I’m far more fucking human than you could ever be’._

Nines had to resist the urge to laugh. If only Gavin knew. But, he was right in assuming that Gavin was talking about his humanity. Or lack of it. But, he knew this was a pivotal moment, he could feel it in the air. The man needed compassion otherwise Nines risked ruining & losing everything. 

“I… apologise for my poor choice of words. You’re right, I suppose, what is between you & Joseph is your business. But thank you, Red. I... did not expect you to have my back in such a way. I am truly touched.” He wasn’t, not really. He knew Gavin would protect him as many other cops did. But he could see that the words were just what Gavin needed to hear.

Gavin seemed to soften slightly & Nines took that as his cue to wrap his arms around the man’s frame. 

He pulled his detective flush against his chest & saw those tears in Gavin’s eyes. Nines blinked, a small, soft smile tugging at his lips. Apologetic, caring, loving. Shame for the time being it was just an act. Or so that’s what he convinced himself. 

Nines was truly starting to think Amanda lied when she said she had used Connor’s DNA in his make-up as well.

In return, Gavin buried his face against the crook of Nines’ neck, wrapping his arms around Nines’ middle & clutched onto him as tightly as he could.

“I-I hate you.” Gavin spoke through a sniffle.

“I know.”

He was sure that Gavin would say those three little words with more honesty than he could ever say the opposite. Yet, if Gavin hated him so much, why did he always relent & give in to Nines’ ways? 

What a sweet little masochist he was.

“Come on…” Nines murmured after a few moments, his voice still falsely soft, but Gavin stayed clinging to him.

The man was still sniffling while trying to hide away in the confines of Nines’ warmth. But, Gavin was still sweaty, still had a tension in his shoulders & there was no way a good boyfriend was going to allow him to go back to bed like _that._

Nines pulled back & placed his hands on Gavin’s shoulders to gently push the detective back just enough to see the look of hurt that was washed across his face. 

A look like that would usually have a sadistic smirk sitting on his face, but not this time. Causing hurt always gave him a giddy feeling, _but not this time._

Instead, he cupped Gavin’s left cheek gently in his hand, running his thumb carefully over his skin to further the illusion that he was capable of being kind.

Nines then took him by the hand & gently led the detective towards the bathroom where he turned on the shower.

From there, Gavin looked rather hesitant as Nines’ hands came to rest on the base of his sweater. Were there more secrets hidden beneath that the man was not yet ready to delve into? Nines hoped so.

“Arms up.” He stated simply, trying his hardest to keep the empathetic look on his face. Gavin stared for a moment, as if contemplating something before finally raising his arms so Nines could ever so gently help him out of his sweater, tossing it into the clothes hamper that was at the side of the room.

Gavin was flawless. 

His olive skin was riddled with scars that held their own stories; like they were little souvenirs from the reckless life he had led. The man was similar to himself in that way, both scarred for life by their past. 

Maybe that’s why Gavin was so drawn to him, like he thought Nines was broken as well & that they could use the broken pieces of themselves to fix each other. 

Sure, they both weren’t entirely human, but Nines didn’t think he was broken. 

Whatever made up the skin on Gavin’s left arm was dancing for control over the white & blue framework as he watched as his thoughts spiraled. It was stunning. Gavin was stunning.

Nines’ eyes drifted from where they were studying the long scar that sat along Gavin’s left hip to look at the bandages that were wrapped around Gavin’s shoulder from where _he_ had shot him. Nines had just added to Gavin’s ever growing collection & couldn’t resist the tiniest of smirks that tugged at the corners of his lips. 

There was a soft purple hue to the bandages, almost as if Gavin had bled through them, but the blood was the wrong co-

“You do not bleed red?” The thought popped into his head & was spoken aloud before he could stop himself. 

Realisation wracked through his body which only amplified his fascination & Nines had to physically restrain himself from showing the subtle glee that was buzzing through him with a strange excited energy. It was similar to the thrill he got when he wrapped his finger around a gun trigger & that feeling? It was intoxicating.

His hand came up to brush along the bandages & he didn’t miss the way Gavin ever so slightly flinched back before settling down with a hard sigh & a subtle nod. 

“Only recently found out myself.”

“You did not know?” How strange-

“ _No_. Can you stop asking questions now?”

“For now.”

His choice of words clearly left Gavin disgruntled. Nines watched as the man narrowed his eyes, settling them into his infamous glare, eyes staring right into his own as the detective spoke in a serious tone, albeit rough with the emotions tied to it, “ _Nobody_ can know about this, Richard. I’m fuckin’ serious about this, you understand? Not unless you want to see me suffer.”

So, Gavin was afraid. 

He was afraid of being tortured again. But rather than it being about what Cyberlife were up to, one would be delving into Gavin’s body, picking him apart to find out what makes him tick, to find out how exactly Cyberlife kept this mess of a human alive, to find out if maybe he was fully robotic or just parts of him… Wait, was what he was looking for in regards to Cyberlife’s work been in front of him this entire ti-

“Richard.”

Nines snapped out of his own mind as Gavin’s voice brought him back to reality.

“You have my word, Red. I do not wish to see you suffer.” His voice was carefully neutral. It was true, for the most part. The more he learned about Gavin, the more he thought that such technology was too wondrous to destroy. 

Gavin relaxed somewhat & Nines couldn’t help but be amused by how easy it was to placate the man’s hostility & nerves by using his need for someone to be there for him against him. 

It was sad, really.

Nines took Gavin’s slightly less guarded demeanor as his cue to carefully peel away the bandages that were dressing his bullet wound, tossing them into the bin. He observed the stitched wound, brows knitting together into a slight look of disappointed concern. 

So he healed just as slowly as anyone else would? _Pity_.

“It’s whatever.” Gavin murmured as he caught the look on Nines’ face. His hands came to return the favour, gently removing the gauze that Nines had taped over where he had been stabbed.

He had every intention of stopping Gavin before the detective saw something that would inevitably lead to more questions, but once again Nines remembered something he had been taught a long time ago: It was easier to gain someone’s trust if they felt you were opening up to them too. It had to be mutual.

So Nines allowed Gavin to throw the gauze into the bin, allowed Gavin to look rather confused for a moment as he leaned down to inspect the scar tissue that was in place of where a freshly stitched stab wound should be.

“What the-” Gavin breathed out, blinking a few times in almost disbelief before tipping his head to gaze up at Nines, a curious & slightly suspicious look in his otherwise tired eyes, “How the _fuck_ are you all healed? Nobody fuckin’ heals from a stab wound in like… Two days.”

Gavin was right. Nobody should be able to heal from a severe wound in just barely two days. But Amanda had been certain to give Nines advanced healing & ruthlessly test on him to be sure it actually fucking worked with no consequences.

Although, it was flawed in its own way. Any wounds that were created over already present scar tissue healed rather slowly, which was why Amanda took great pleasure in constantly reopening the scar on his face. She never allowed it to fully heal & _she knew it would hurt._

Nines fell completely quiet, even as Gavin asked a few other questions, getting lost in old thoughts. It was then that Gavin must have realised that he was doing to Nines exactly what Nines had done to him a few moments prior.

That was how they ended up in the shower together, as if it could somehow wash away all of their secrets that were coming to light.

Gavin began to try his best to comfort Nines as the gangster fell quiet by gently washing his hair for him. A running theme Nines had noticed; even when Nines forgot to mask his cruelty or was purposefully distant, Gavin always came to try to comfort him as if he deserved such kindness.

When Nines had been lost in his own head for a little too long, that’s when Gavin had gently called his name.

Eventually, Nines’ eyes fluttered open & he stared blankly down at his detective. Pretty green eyes were staring right back at him, a sympathetic look was on Gavin’s face as he pressed himself against Nines’ chest. 

For a moment, a strange feeling washed over for him, being comforted brought a small sense of peace which he didn’t realise was possible. It made him falter for just the briefest of moments - it made him feel vulnerable & he _hated_ it. 

Nines frowned, pushing that feeling down. He had felt it before when with Gavin & just like always, he squashed it before it could grow. Grow & bring with it other emotions that would make him weak. He had felt it back when he had spent time with Gavin on his roof after helping the man confront his fear of heights.

Oh how that felt like a lifetime ago. 

“You’re not the only one who was a lab experiment, Gavin.” His voice cut over the man’s incessant questions & he fought hard to keep the irritation out of his voice. Nines tilted his head so he could look away, avoiding the scrutinising gaze of the detective.

There were details of his past that he would very much like to keep to himself, but if he wanted Gavin on his side, then he had to be at least a little honest.

Nines stayed looking away until Gavin gently cupped his cheeks to make the gangster look at him. The detective’s face had worry written all over it, the little disc on his temple blinking the same, bright red. For a moment, Nines was sure that it flickered to yellow, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Hey, healing quick isn’t such a bad thing.” Gavin murmured, leaning up to plant a soft kiss to Nines’ nose, as though he thought Nines needed more of his specific brand of comfort. Nines did not need comfort & he certainly didn’t need a _robot_ telling him how he should feel.

“I am aware.” Nines muttered, having to resist the urge to crinkle his nose up at Gavin’s gentle kiss. Perhaps they would have to play their truth & truth game again sometime soon as it was clear as day that Gavin had more questions sitting on the tip of his tongue. That would mean he could also ask his own in regards to the technology that seemed to be interlaced with the man.

Before Gavin’s look of hurt could inevitably cross his features, Nines pulled the detective that little bit closer so he could press his lips to Gavin’s in a surprisingly soft kiss.

Nines had always been steadfast in who he was, in _what_ he was. 

The part of his DNA that was pulled from Cain craved constant destruction. It helped fashion him into the cruel tool he was & left him craving the smell of gasoline on his hands as the world around him burned. It was the part he had always listened to. 

He knew he also shared his DNA with Connor as well, but before now, Nines had been so sure that Amanda had been lying. If he had Connor’s DNA, how come he wasn’t more... balanced? More willing to play nice & listen? It could easily be brushed off as infatuation with technology, but what Nines didn’t realise was all it took was the tiniest of chips. Because soon enough that chip would become a crack which would then become a fissure. 

Gavin? _He had now become that chip._

Those feelings of peace he fought so hard to smother? Any moment of hesitation he had? Any pang of guilt? It was Connor’s DNA trying to wrap itself around his muscles, trying to burrow its way into his consciousness. He just didn’t know it yet.

Nines was falling; & falling from the throne he had put himself on? Well, that was a long way down.

A soft, surprised sound escaped Gavin’s throat as he kissed back, his hands coming up to grip at Nines’ wrists as the gangster used both hands to cup Gavin’s cheeks to hold him in place.

The kiss didn’t last long before Nines felt Gavin try to pull back a little, so he relented, his grip loosening so Gavin could pull back enough to stare up at him once more with those deep, forest green eyes. If Nines were a weaker man, they would be so easy to get lost in. 

The way those eyes were so honest, baring his soul right there for Nines’ taking… Who was he to say no if Gavin came to him so willingly?

The scars that littered Gavin’s face, Nines had them memorised. The one that cut through his left eyebrow. The one that ran across the bridge of his nose & spanned across his left cheek, almost connecting to the one that cut through Gavin’s scruff along his jawline & traveled up the side of Gavin’s face. The one that sat on his lips, a slither of white slicing through his otherwise soft, pink lips… He knew them all better than he knew himself.

Then again, he knew Gavin better than he knew himself.

“You are stunning, Red.”

There was a beat of silence, then, “You are so full of shit.”

But those four simple words that Nines had uttered may have been the only honest thing he had said since meeting Gavin at the gala for the first time. The technology within him, he truly saw how beautiful the man was. 

Thinking about the gala, it triggered a thought in Nines’ mind, “I know you said no more questions, but was this why your hands were shaking when you unbuttoned my shirt when we first met?”

“Fuck, you remember that?” Gavin laughed nervously before nodding, bringing his left hand up to flex his fingers as the nanites danced around his framework. “Yeah, still tryna keep control, y’know?”

“I know.” Nines lied. 

He began to gently wash Gavin’s hair for him & watched as Gavin’s eyes fluttered shut. The man fell quiet except for the odd soft, pleased sound that fell from his lips at the feeling of Nines being so gentle. 

The little disc on Gavin’s temple cycled red a few more times before finally settling on yellow, giving Nines the sense that it would change depending on Gavin’s emotional state. Maybe yellow was a good sign.

Once the shampoo & conditioner were rinsed out of Gavin’s hair, Nines finally, in an overly soft voice asked, “What were you dreaming about?”

Much to his surprise, Gavin told him.

Details were left out that could in any way tie Gavin to Elijah, so the detective settled on claiming that the torture he endured was due to an undercover mission gone wrong. 

He was meticulous with his cover story, leaving no loose ends that could be questioned, even if Nines knew better.

Nines had been going after Cyberlife intel before Gavin, but he had worked on it through bribes & thievery. He always begrudgingly tried the non-lethal methods first, after all, honey was sweeter than vinegar.

But when Cain phoned him to say he had tracked down Elijah Kamski’s brother, a detective for the DPD who was already preparing for some form of undercover operation, there was no way he could pass up on the opportunity to get him to speak.

Nines liked to get his hands dirty, he enjoyed getting to pick people apart piece by piece until all that was left was whether or not they were willing to die for a cause, or go against everything they believed in & tell the enemy all they knew.

He never much cared for the outcome, he just liked the game. He liked the chaos, the destruction, the mess. He _enjoyed_ it.

This had left him disappointed to learn that Cain had already begun on his maniacal, if not a little theatrical way of trying to get the Kamski brother to talk.

From what Nines had heard through the phone call as he headed towards their whereabouts, Cain had already smashed in one of the detective’s kneecaps with a wrench & was ready to move onto the next one before being interrupted by Daniel - the ‘backup’ that Gavin referred to as ‘Dipshit Two’ while telling his story.

Daniel had pistol whipped Gavin & he passed out. The next thing he knew was that he was being dragged towards the higher floors of the abandoned parking lot they were in. Gavin put up a fight, but inevitably lost & ended up with his hands zip-tied behind his back.

Little did Gavin know that Nines was the one that ordered Daniel & Cain to drag him to the top floor of the car park to, despite not being a religious man, ‘put the fear of God in him’. Gavin woke before they had the chance to drag him up there fully & they instead held him over the third storey.

Gavin mentioned he was dead set on staying sarcastic right through to the very end & interestingly enough, that was what had caught Nines attention so quickly.

Even through torture, this particular detective held his own ground. Nines had demanded for them to keep pushing Gavin when he refused to give answers; to see how far they could take it before the man broke & that sarcastic spirit broke with him.

Unfortunately, Cain was too unruly, far too unhinged. So when Nines had ordered his brother to drop the detective _after_ he got what he wanted, Cain only seemed to listen to the first half of said order.

The detective had done something to push Cain a little too far & in return, Cain pushed him right back. Off the third storey ledge of the old car park, right as Nines arrived.

He glared up at where Cain was smirking on the ledge above, waiting until his brother & his lackey walked away before stepping up to a very broken, beaten & bloody Gavin Kamski.

Tucking away his pistol as he saw those vibrant green eyes staring terrified up at him, trying their damndest to focus on Nines through the man’s cries of pain. He could tell the poor detective’s vision was far too bleary to make out anything at all & he was paralysed too, that much was clear. It was a miracle he had survived at all. 

Nines had crouched down & ran the backs of his fingers along the detective’s bloodied cheekbone that wasn’t masked by his balaclava, wiping away a tear in the process.

He didn’t put Gavin out of his suffering right there & then because leaving him there to die was far more cruel.

But Gavin did survive & what an unexpected plot twist he turned out to be.

Nines continued to go after Cyberlife intel, but began to hunt down workers & torture them for answers too, killing them if they didn’t give him the answers he wanted. Mostly, he just felt like sending Elijah a message.

Kamski was being hunted & Nines wanted to make him scared. Just because he could. He knew that Kamski knew it was him who was behind it all, but the CEO had yet to make a move of retaliation. Sometimes, Nines wondered what Elijah had planned.

But everything Nines wanted to know about Cyberlife, everything he needed to tell Amanda about to get her off of his back was inside Gavin this whole time.

Oh how the world worked in mysterious ways.

Nines tried to pry into exactly how Gavin managed to be picked up by Cyberlife but deflection after deflection meant he got nowhere. He was about to snap some cruel quip but a rather morbid thought entered his mind instead. 

“What will you do if you find the man who did this to you?” It was a question to a very self indulgent thought & Nines fought to keep the smirk off his face.

That seemed to throw Gavin off for a moment, his hands coming away from where he was mindlessly playing with Nines’ fingers, using them as something to focus on as he recounted such a traumatic experience. He slowly looked the gangster square in the face.

“I don’t know.” Gavin said, “But it isn’t an ‘if’, it’s a ‘when’. I guess I’d want to watch him bleed too.”

There was that darkness he wished so desperately to bring into the light.

“Would you kill him?”

_I want to hear you say yes, Gavin. Start giving in. Go on._

Gavin knew he _really_ shouldn’t answer; not when he was a cop as they both knew the answer. But, Nines knew that darkness was there. If Gavin would just _admit_ it, then he could corrupt the man & truly make him into someone he could actually love. Gavin wanting him dead would just serve to make the relationship... _interesting._

The detective fell quiet again, turning around to have his back facing the gangster so he could splash his face with the warm water.

For the first time since he had helped Gavin out of his sweatshirt, Nines could finally see why Gavin had always refused to take his shirt off before.

Through his olive skin, Gavin’s spine was glowing a soft blue & Nines could very nearly make out each individual vertebrae. He was so distracted by Gavin’s arm & LED, he completely forgot about the blue hue he could have sworn he saw earlier on.

On his right shoulder-blade, Gavin had the silhouettes of six little black birds tattooed in varying flying positions that almost reached the back of his neck. Nines couldn’t help but wonder if they were done before or after his torture. Either way, it was strangely poetic.

Beside the bird tattoo, there was a scar in the shape of a bullet wound & Nines had come to the sudden realisation that that particular bullet wound, what appeared to be a stab wound scar on Gavin’s ribs & little scar that disappeared somewhere in his happy trail were the only three that had not been inflicted by him.

The scars that littered Gavin’s face, that littered his shoulder-blades, his spine, the one that ran along his hip, the subtle blue strip that wrapped around Gavin’s upper left arm, right near his shoulder that almost acted as a seam… Nines had technically made every single one of them.

The twisted thought curled around Nines’ mind as he studied Gavin’s body. Gavin was _his._

All of the scars that he had created made Gavin belong to him in a way that the detective didn’t even realise.

Nines leaned in close, his hands resting on Gavin’s hips as he gently began to pepper little kisses all along those bird tattoos & finally, Gavin gave his answer to Nines’ earlier question.

It was barely above a whisper, but filled with a confidence that did not waver. “I like to think I will, yeah.”

_You said yes… Finally._

The best part? Not for a second did Nines doubt it.

Gavin had long since been feeling a little more awake, a little less tense & overall less like a reanimated corpse after his shower with Richard. 

He was standing in his kitchen in his boxers & an actually fucking clean, white button down shirt, tie loose around his neck. Richard had also helped him to freshly bandage his shoulder.

Gavin was in the process of sorting out Arthur’s cat food, which fucking smelled like shit, as he tried to quench his nerves over the thought of going on an actual fucking date.

Richard had promised him a date a few days ago, but then, y’know, the bastard fucking shot him. So they were going to go on said date now instead, hence the stupid button down shirt. Gavin _hated_ dressing smart, much preferred the comfort of his douchey V-necks which Tina said made his chest look good or some shit.

But, sue him for making an effort. Richard always dressed to impress & there was no way he was about to walk into a restaurant looking like, well, _Gavin_ when Richard looked like _that._

Speak of the devil… Or, uh, think of the devil. Whatever.

As if on cue, Gavin felt Richard press up behind him, one of the gangster’s arms sliding around his middle to pull him a little closer as he felt soft lips on his neck.

“Fuck off.” Gavin grumbled with no real bite, trying to actually focus on getting Arthur’s food out of the sachet & into the bowl without him getting covered in cat food gravy. His left hand wasn’t exactly making the process easy.

He could feel the way Richard smirked against his neck, his free hand running along Gavin’s left arm to trace little shapes along it. 

He used the fact Gavin had his sleeves rolled to his elbows to his advantage. The gangster had only known of Gavin’s procedures for a few hours at best, but he had already found a love for tracing his fingers along Gavin’s left arm so he could watch the nanites dance & flicker beneath his touches. 

Gavin hummed softly, trying his best to ignore Richard’s distraction techniques, but fuck was the bastard good at making his mind go blank. 

With a soft sigh, Gavin gave up on the cat food for a moment & Richard took this as his cue to run his hand over the back of Gavin’s left one & lace their fingers together. 

“Darling.” He all but purred into Gavin’s ear & fuck if that didn’t trigger a spark of lust from within him to which Gavin had to literally restrain himself from groaning at how fucking attractive Richard’s voice was. He was pretty sure he could get off to that alone.

The detective tipped his head to the side to give Richard more space as he fluttered his eyes shut, the gangster quite happily taking this as his chance to litter Gavin’s neck with little bites that were just sharp enough to leave bruises that would be rather difficult to hide, even with the top button of his shirt done up.

If Gavin wasn’t mistaken, he could have sworn he heard Richard murmur ‘mine’ beneath his breath.

“Rich…” Gavin began, but he had no fucking clue where the hell his sentence was even going to go, especially when Richard’s other hand that was around his middle began to slide lower, fingertips running along his happy trail & dipping beneath the waistline of his boxers.

Yeah, he was definitely okay with this distraction. 

“Hm?” The gangster acted innocent, as though he didn’t know exactly what he was doing. 

Richard slipped his hand lower so he could take Gavin’s cock in his hand. At the same time, he sank his teeth rather roughly into the soft spot on Gavin’s neck right where his neck met with his shoulder, eliciting a surprised yelp that quickly morphed into a moan from the detective. 

A short string of ‘fuck’s escaped Gavin’s lips as he bowed his head, his other hand planting on the table to try & keep himself steady. Richard stroked him way too agonisingly slowly, sucking at the skin on his neck to leave one particularly dark hickey before kissing softly over the skin as if to sooth it.

Just when Gavin thought his bubbling nerves about the date were about to be quenched with the best possible distraction, of fucking course something just had to ruin it. His phone buzzed from across the table & as it rang, Gavin let out a frustrated groan at being interrupted. 

“Fuck it, if it’s important, they’ll call back.” He muttered which only earned a chuckle from the man behind him.

Much to Gavin’s dismay, they called back.

“Fuck sake.” The detective muttered with more annoyance than necessary.

He reached across the table with his right hand to grab his phone, but that didn’t deter Richard from slowly stroking Gavin’s dick & lavishing kisses on his neck.

“Reed.” Gavin spat as a greeting down the phone, his breath hitching as Richard intentionally tightened his grip on his cock, thumb brushing over the head of it as he moved his lips to Gavin’s free ear, teasing the lobe roughly between his teeth. 

Gavin fought against moaning down the fucking phone as Hank, _fucking Hank!_ Called to ask him to get his ass down to a crime scene & gave him the address before he could even say no.

Called in on his day off, just as he was about to have some good fucking sex & finally go on that date. The universe really fucking hated him.

“Uh, yeah, fuck, I-I can be there in like twenty minutes… Fuck!” Gavin couldn’t help but spit out the expletives as the pace of Richard’s hand quickened at the same time as the asshole whispered nonsense in his ear which only served to work him up further. Gavin was barely even able to focus on what the hell Hank was saying on the other line.

Hank seemed worried, something about if he was okay, that he sounded distracted, to tell him if his hip was flaring up, that he was worried about him, that he wasn’t at Cyberli- “You s-sound like a f-fuckin’ worried parent… Okay, _really_ g-gotta go, be there before you know it!”

Just like that, Gavin hung up the phone before the lieutenant had the chance to argue & all but threw it onto the table as he twisted just enough to shoot Richard a glare from over his shoulder.

The dark, mischievous glint in the man’s eyes made a shiver run down his mechanical spine. He definitely was up to no good but Gavin couldn’t help but get lost in it every single time.

It took absolutely all of the restraint that he had to not roll his hips into Richard’s hand & it took even more fucking strength to reach a hand down to grab Richard’s wrist, stopping his actions in their tracks with a soft shudder. 

“G-gotta work, babe… Duty calls, or whatever.”

Richard complied, keeping his hand still so Gavin’s mind could actually focus on something other than the tightness that sat in the pit of his stomach.“Our date-”

“Hm.” Richard hummed, slowly pulling his hand from Gavin’s boxers & instead ran his fingers along Gavin’s happy trail & the little scar that sat hidden there, that had Gavin stiffening ever so slightly each time he ran his fingers over it. It made him smirk every time. “We can reschedule.”

Gavin nibbled at his lower lip, half expecting Richard to be somewhat annoyed, “Are you sure?”

An ever so subtle smile crossed Richard’s face, there one second, gone the next. Gavin couldn’t even see it, but he momentarily felt it against his skin as Richard kissed the scar that disappeared off in his scruff on his jawline. 

“I do believe you are not going to get away with any more days of avoiding work.”

“Technically, I’m in recovery. ‘Cause, y’know, a fucking mobster shot me.”

“Sounds like a prick. Maybe you should shoot him back.”

“Oh, he is.” Gavin laughed quietly with an eye roll, “Maybe I should.” 

The soft banter helped Gavin to calm down from Richard’s intoxicating touches & in that moment, he was actually grateful that the man wasn’t kissing his neck & that his hands were behaving.

Fuck, he was too easily lost in all that Richard was. It was most definitely going to kill him one day, he could feel it & Gavin’s gut feeling was never wrong.

Gavin wriggled out of Richard’s grip so he could instead turn around to face the man, a light dusting of pink sitting on the detective’s cheekbones. “Guess it’s something they need me specifically for. Hank never calls on me if I’m off duty-”

“Go & save the day, _Detective_.” Richard smirked.

“If whatever the fuck this is is tied to you, Imma put your ass outta business.” Gavin grinned, leaning up with his hands resting on Richard’s hips so he could kiss the gangster softly.

Once pulled back, Richard tipped his head as he murmured, “You do realise not all crime revolves around me, correct? Stay safe, _Darling_.”

With those three simple words swimming around Gavin’s mind, he disappeared off to pull on a pair of pants, grab his gun, his badge, throw his tie onto his bed & pull his leather jacket on.

After stealing one last kiss, grabbing his phone & asking Richard to feed Arthur before he leaves to do whatever the fuck it is he does, the detective left. Before he knew it, he was well on his way to the address Hank had given him on the phone earlier. 

One hundred & one thoughts spiraled around Gavin’s head. From everything Richard now knew about him, to what he had learnt about the gangster in return & what could happen if anyone else found out. Yet somehow, still not getting a goddamn date was on the forefront of his mind, fueling his hostilities as he drove. 

By the time he had pulled up to the scene, any happiness Gavin had felt while in his little nirvana bubble when around Richard had dwindled, leaving behind one of his infamously sour fucking moods. Could it be called nirvana? Fuck it, the man made him feel good… kinda. 

After checking in the mirror to be sure his LED was covered up, the detective stepped out of his car, pulling his jacket tighter around himself as he headed towards where Lieutenant Anderson was standing near some holographic police tape.

“Reed, good to see you back!” Yeah, since when the fuck did Hank sound so goddamn chipper?

“Fuck off, Old Man.” Gavin bit as he made his way over, his famous glare sitting on his face never faltering. He wanted to go back to Richard, have their date, get lost in the intoxicating mess that was his boyfriend... why the fuck was here? Why the fuck was Hank so happy & why did he care what the old man had to say? 

Hank rolled his eyes, but wasn’t in the slightest bit deterred by Gavin’s standoffish behaviour. At this point, the lieutenant dealt with it as though he were dealing with an unruly teenager. He just let Gavin’s shit slide & knew the detective was just grouchy at being called in with no warning.

The lieutenant's eyes drifted to Gavin’s neck, more specifically, the bruises & teeth marks that littered his flesh & couldn’t resist the rough chuckle that escaped his lips. He clapped a hand onto Gavin’s non-wounded shoulder, guiding him through the holo-tape & towards the scene. 

“Ah, now that explains the pissy mood…”

“Get. Fucked.”

The scowl that Hank was met made him reluctantly swallow his teasing before the younger detective decided to throw a fucking punch at him. At this point, he was far too old to be dealing with Gavin’s solid right hook & weirdly got the sense he was treading on thin ice. 

“Why the fuck am I here?” Gavin asked as he pulled on the blue latex gloves that Hank handed to him as he made his way into the livingroom of the rundown house, crouching near the body that was sat slouched into the couch cushions.

“Your job.” Chris chimed in from somewhere behind him in a lighthearted tone & Gavin could never be mad at the guy, even if he tried. 

Chris was the closest he ever got to having a partner. Not once did he question Gavin’s bitching for the months he was on desk duty; Chris would go out to the crime scenes, bring back files & photos for Gavin to work through from the confines of the precinct with no fuss. 

So, Gavin bit his tongue, reigned in his weird fucking mood & with an amused but rough huff, he began to inspect the body. 

“I mean... Why am I here & not narcotics? It’s pretty fuckin’ obvious this guy OD’ed.”

“Obvious, huh?” Hank’s tone had a reserved feel to it as he leaned against the doorframe, watching Gavin work. “Sue us for wanting a fresh pair of eyes on the scene. No foul play?”

Ah. A ‘fresh pair of eyes’. _Whatever_.

Gavin tipped his head to glance curiously at Hank, who had an almost guilty look sitting on his face. From that alone, Gavin could tell that the man wanted him to use his mind palace to gain a better understanding of what had gone on. Just like he had done at the Eden Club.

Hank wanted him to see if another person had been involved, or if they were dealing with something else entirely & with their luck, it was usually the latter.

Gavin drew his focus back to the body & his mind palace triggered all on its own. Something he most definitely would not be getting used to any time soon. 

His vision was bombarded with information & fuck, it was difficult to focus on any one thing. 

It was fucking weird. The information was all stuff that he’d be able to figure out on his own given the time, but it was bombarding at him all at once. If Gavin wasn’t so fucking stubborn, it would have overwhelmed him. 

He vaguely registered Chris’ voice in the background, but he was too focused on trying to whittle away at the information in his head so only the useful shit remained.

With furrowed brows, Gavin inspected the corpse’s hands from where he was crouched, registering the subtle burns on their fingers. Then, he straightened himself back out to check its mouth & inside it, leaving Hank & Chris looking rather weirded out.

The guy was a junkie. Exactly as he thought. So why the fuck was he here?

“Gav-”

“ _Shh!_ ” Gavin cut Hank off before he could question it. The detective was far too lost in his own mind, trying to keep up with just how quickly his mind palace was moving. His brows stayed tightly knit together as he cast a few glances around the room.

There were ever so subtle particles of an unknown substance dusted along the carpet near the victim’s feet & Gavin knew for a fact that they couldn’t be seen by anyone but him & his advanced, uh, everything.

Stifling a wince, Gavin slowly knelt down so he could follow the trail of particles which ended up with him looking beneath the couch.

He found exactly what he was looking for. A crack pipe.

Fuck, did anyone do their job properly anymore? Had nobody done a goddamn sweep of the room yet? 

Rolling his eyes, Gavin reached beneath the couch to grab the little pipe, residue of whatever the mysterious substance was still sitting in it. He assumed the victim must have dropped it before passing out.

Or at least, that’s how his brain imagined it & when it recreated the wireframe version back at the Eden Club, it had been accurate that time. So he trusted it.

Standing back up again with a wince & hiss of pain, Chris was quick to gently grip Gavin’s elbow. He was glad for the support as his left knee & hip metaphorically screamed at him for moving too quickly.

Fucking robo-body still hated him, clearly.

After nodding a thank you to Chris, Gavin inspected the pipe. 

Fuck, the residue wasn’t enough to work off of. It was burnt & barely enough for even a lab to get an idea on what the fuck they were working with.

Gavin bagged the pipe into a little evidence bag, just to be sure before throwing it onto the table so he could work on looking around the house instead to perhaps find any more of whatever the drug was.

As he wandered around, Hank followed him so he could explain how before finding the pipe, they had a theory that maybe the man had been poisoned by some form of unknown drug. Apparently, this was the third body to turn up dead in the same way, but they had yet to find exactly what it was that the victims had overdosed on as there was no evidence of any drugs in the house. 

The little crack pipe Gavin found was the first indication that the overdose was self inflicted.

“Still think narcotics should be dealing with this shit, Hank.” Gavin murmured as he made his way into the little back room that housed a washing machine & a shelf full of varying detergents. 

Hank cocked a brow as Gavin started rummaging through the victim’s belongings, leaning a shoulder against the doorframe. Now they were out of earshot of other officers, Hank brushed aside Gavin’s comment in favour of saying, “How’re you healing up? No headaches, right?”

“Right.” Gavin affirmed, his voice a little too snappy. He could quite literally feel the concern all radiating from Hank; apparently the man was unconvinced with his answer.

His headaches had gone. Ever since the LED, he was okay. Or at least, he felt okay. How long that’d last, he had no clue; but he’d take it while he still could.

Tipping his head to glance at Hank, a few strands of Gavin’s hair fell across his forehead as he muttered, “You fuckin’ worry too much.”

“I don’t worry enough, Kid.” Hank laughed faintly, they both knew the lieutenant really did hold Gavin’s health as his top priority. Gavin supposed that it was because Hank felt guilty for letting Elijah turn him into a lab experiment. 

“I got to see Emma for a little.” Gavin finally spoke up after what felt like an eternity of quiet. He stopped his rummaging in favour of actually giving Hank his attention. He knew that the lieutenant just wanted to see him okay, so he paused for a moment to ease Hank’s thoughts.

“Oh yeah? She causing you trouble as always?”

“Yup.” Gavin smirked a little as he thought over their antics, shaking his head to himself. “She’s too fuckin’ smart, man. I’m tellin’ ya, she’s gonna get herself in shit that not even my badge could get her out of.” 

Gavin thought a little about the code that she had created. Whatever Cyberlife were working on, he got a sense that Emma knew exactly how to break it all apart in her favour. He had no clue why she’d do something like that & he knew for a fact that she wouldn’t… But that didn’t change the fact that she _could._

Hank’s amused laugh broke Gavin’s train of thought & the detective looked up to meet his gaze, a faint smile tugging at his lips as the lieutenant spoke, “Guess she takes after her dad in that way.”

“Guess so.” Gavin agreed. He was all of two seconds away from opening up about the code & telling Hank about the concerns that wouldn’t wriggle out of his mind, but his eyes strayed to a little box that was on a shelf right beside Hank’s head. His mind palace detecting more of those little particles of whatever-the-fuck the vic had taken on it.

Gavin stepped up a little too close to reach up & grab the little box, ignoring Hank’s irritated grumble about personal space, only stepping back once the box was in his hands. 

Throwing Hank a knowing look, Gavin opened the box & fuck, was his mind palace turning out to be oh so fucking helpful when it wasn’t trying to kill him. 

Inside the box was a small transparent bag with little red crystals inside it. Carefully, Gavin took the bag out & placed the box down, holding it up for both him & Hank to inspect.

“How did you-” Hank cut his own sentence off as Gavin used his free hand to tap over where his LED sat hidden under the skin toned nanites, knowing that would be enough of a silent explanation for the lieutenant. 

The pair exchanged a nervous glance before looking back to the little bag of crystals where Gavin’s mind palace did the honour of kicking into full swing. Again.

The detective was grateful that he was no longer getting headaches & nosebleeds, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel fucking weird every time his mind began to over-analyse every tiny fucking detail. He felt sort of dizzy. Like it was all too much & the room was being turned on its head.

His mind palace broke down the formula of the little crystals & he could tell that it had a similar chemical makeup to crack-cocaine. That wouldn’t have been a big deal if it wasn't for the chemical formula that lay beneath.

The little red crystals had trace amounts of lithium, toluene & hydrochloric acid ties in there too. In amongst those?

Thirium 310.

The name seemed oddly familiar, as though it were a distant memory somewhere. Not that it took his mind too long to catch up, it crashed in with far too much force that very nearly had him stumbling for his balance.

Hank must have noticed too, because one of the lieutenant’s hands came up to gently grip Gavin’s non-wounded shoulder as he gently called his name.

Gavin’s mind replayed something that had been fuzzy since he woke up with his LED. 

While he was out, he had a dream. It was a weird one that was still a little distant to him, but one thing he very suddenly distinctly remembered was the cell battery looking object that his other self crushed.

The writing on one of the smashed pieces read _‘-irium 310 pump regul-’._

Whatever the fuck this unknown drug was, Gavin knew exactly where the fuck it had come from.

Swallowing down his sudden vertigo, Gavin instinctively used his free hand to wipe at his nose as if he expected blood to be there before looking up at Hank with wide, nervous eyes.

The lieutenant looked about as lost as he expected & Gavin drew in a deep breath, glancing to the drug, then back to Hank before muttering ‘fuck’ beneath his breath as he pocketed it. 

In front of a goddamn police lieutenant.

There was a line. Between good & bad, between love & hate & Gavin found that it only seemed to get more blurred with each passing day. 

He knew he was literally pushing his luck by dragging Hank into this mess too, but if the lieutenant truly did love him like a son, then he’d trust that Gavin was doing this for the right reasons.

Gavin knew that if need be, he’d voice that thought, knowing the unfair manipulation would have Hank backing down. Fuck, he was spending too much time around Richard.

Besides, he wasn’t about to fucking smoke the stuff. He just needed it as proof.

 _“Reed_.” Hank’s voice instantly turned serious, he was talking less like his friend & more like his boss. It had an uncomfortable feeling sitting in the pit of Gavin’s stomach, when the time called for it, Hank could be fucking scary.

Before he could be reprimanded for literally stealing evidence, Gavin decided to jump the bullet. “Please, Hank, you gotta trust me on this one… I know what this is.” His voice was equally as serious, he needed the lieutenant to believe him. Gavin _really_ did know where the fuck the drug had come from.

Hank looked unsure, but the detective also saw the irritation mixed with it. He looked like an angry parent, it was the type of look one would give their kid for breaking a fucking vase, but whatever he was about to say was interrupted as Chris poked his head around the doorframe.

“You guys found anything? Or are you too busy jerking each other off?”

“Oh go fuck yourself, Chris.” Gavin huffed & marched moodily out of the room. 

He shoulder-checked Chris on his way out & fuck did that send sharp pains running through the wound that he had momentarily forgotten about. He wasn’t genuinely mad at Chris’ remark, not really, but the comment had pushed him a little too far. His weird mood was still lingering below the surface & Chris’ comment was all it had needed to come crashing to the surface. 

Gavin stomped out of the house, still pissed that he had been pulled away from his afternoon with his douchebag boyfriend, not that he would ever admit it to anybody.

He stripped off his gloves, turning them inside out before quickly stuffing them in a pocket & fuck, he need a smoke. 

Gavin pulled out his cigarettes to spark one up as he leaned against the side of his car.

The nicotine finally soothed his mood & as he smoked, he pulled his phone from his pocket. Gavin flipped it over in his hands a few times, a nervous habit he often did whenever he tried to muster up the courage to make a call that he _really_ didn’t want to make.

His mind worked a mile a minute as he tried to break down everything he knew so far.

Three people had overdosed on the drug already. Nobody else had caught wind of it just yet & Gavin knew for a fact that it was made from thirium. It was Cyberlife’s secret fucking weapon. Y’know, the one he was fucking _tortured_ for.

Gavin’s dream self that had mocked him cruelly told him that he didn’t have a human heart but he weirdly knew that already. As he said that, his thoughts drifted back to the cell battery.

A Regulator.

It was a fucking regulator.

If thirium was what Elijah had used to keep Gavin alive, explaining why his blood was fucking purple… Then it only made sense that he needed something in his body to keep it regulated along with the rest of his blood.

That meant in his chest lay even more fucking technology. Fuck, he would light up a metal detector like a goddamn Christmas tree.

Thirium 310 pump regulator? Saying ‘robo-heart’ was way fucking easier.

A bitter, sad laugh escaped Gavin’s lips at the thought. Why the fuck had Elijah not told him anything? Was he really just a lab experiment who was supposed to find all this shit out on his own? 

He already knew that Elijah was more put off over having to help him with the LED than he’d ever actually admit, but it still hurt to think that perhaps his brother of all people didn’t care as much as he acted like he did.

Gavin surprised himself with just how much he seemed to be able to handle without completely falling apart. The more he found out about himself, the more he wanted to just scream & cry. He supposed that his constant need to keep on moving, to keep on distracting himself with less than healthy habits, i.e: fucking a gangster, helped to keep him on his toes. That way, he'd never have to stop & allow his past to catch up to him.

Eventually though, he was going to get tired of running.

It was only when he got through half of his cigarette, clearly procrastinating the phone call that Hank made his way out of the house & over to him. He pinched the cigarette from between his fingers to take a drag for himself. “Those things'll kill ya, y’know.”

“Remind me again why I keep you around?”

Hank rolled his eyes with a hearty chuckle, bumping his shoulder against Gavin’s as he stood beside him. “So, what you got going on in that brain of yours that you couldn’t say in there.” As he spoke, he motioned with his head towards the house.

He was grateful that Hank seemed to understand without him needing to use his words. For the most part anyway.

“The drug, Hank. It’s bad.”

“Duh, Kid, the guy overdosed on it, obviously it’s bad.”

Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Gavin muttered, “No, Dipshit-”

 _Someone from Cyberlife is making a drug out of what is quite literally coursing through my veins, Hank._ Yeah, that’d go over well.

His finger shakily dialed the contact he knew he needed to call & Gavin fixed Hank with a look that expressed a thousand fucking words he couldn’t say.

He was _afraid._

Gavin sparked up another cigarette as he held Hank’s gaze with that same worried look, holding the phone to his ear as he waited for the other line to pick up. Two rings later, he heard the voice of the only man who could explain any of this.

Elijah fucking Kamski.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, is Nines actually falling for Gavin despite being convinced he isn't? Or is he just a piece of trash?


	10. Bite The Hand (That Feeds)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines meets up with an old friend while Gavin begins to question everything that he knows so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a brief mention of past prostitution in this chapter after the * in Nines' POV. Nothing detailed, but I figured I'd drop the little warning here.  
> Holy shit, I am so sure that this chapter may hold the most amount of swearing so far near the end- I cannot believe I swear this much. But, Gavin? For a smart guy, wow is he an idiot.
> 
> Also, I have something cool to babble out in the end notes where I can take up space with my rambling. But for now? Happy reading<3

Nines never did quite understand the phrase, ‘To what do I owe this pleasure’. As more often than not, any meeting he had to have was not a goddamn pleasure, not in the slightest.

Fixing the cufflinks on his dress shirt, Nines stood from where he was sitting at his desk in his office so he could stand in front of the large wall of windows that overlooked the city. Brittney was sitting on the other side of the room on a small couch, quietly working away on her tablet. 

Brittney was Nines' second pair of eyes & ears. Anything that he could have potentially missed, she would pick up on. He had helped her grow & naturally she had flourished into being his right hand woman.

Clasping his hands behind his back, Nines didn’t bother to turn around even as he heard the door click closed behind someone entering the room.

“Gavin.” He stated simply, a small smirk tugging at his lips before he paused. He took a second to listen to those footsteps again & he corrected himself. “Elijah.”

Of course he knew it was Elijah. He just wanted to put the man on edge.

“Nines.”

_‘To what do I owe the pleasure’_ ran through his mind again & sure, if this was the Kamski brother he had wished it to be, then perhaps this meeting would have been a pleasure for the both of them.

But then again, being in a room for too long with Gavin could make any person lose their mind, Nines knew that from personal experience. Being in a room with Elijah, however? It made a man like Nines contemplate blowing his brains out just to make the situation a little more interesting.

Nines had been wanting to get the man in a room alone for months now. He wanted to get the CEO to talk so he could stop being Amanda’s fucking puppet. He was so desperate to do something other than trying to get Cyberlife employees to open their goddamn mouths & spill their stupid little secrets.

He was fucking tired of it & quite frankly, bored of Amanda’s bullshit.

Elijah was careful & had made the whole ordeal insufferable. The man was smart. Never to be seen outside unless he knew he was protected from all angles - with his staff dropping like flies, it made sense. But the little game they had been playing had become boring, leaving Nines so desperately wanting a new one; but he couldn’t make a move, even if he wanted to.

The gangster didn’t need to look to know there were two armed men standing either side of the doorway as Elijah walked into the office & there was no doubt in his mind that there were more outside.

Besides, the timing was wrong. 

If he wanted to get to Elijah properly, he would do it _his_ way. Not through a meeting that the CEO had requested. That was almost too easy. Besides, to say Nines was surprised to hear from the man after nearly seven years would be somewhat of an overstatement, but it had definitely piqued his curiosities.

Nines glanced over his shoulder & gave the man a quick once over. He never did look the part of a CEO, even when he tried to dress up nice for a convention or gala. Apparently, going to see Nines was not a good enough reason for the man to dress like he actually wanted to be there either.

Elijah stood barely a meter from Nines’ desk, wearing a black shirt with a red printed pattern across it that made up the shape of a side profile head. He also wore black jeans, sneakers & a casual jacket that looked as though it couldn’t fucking decide whether it wanted to be a jacket or a blazer. Nines narrowed his eyes.

“What can I do for you, Elijah?” He purposefully used his first name, avoiding giving the man the respect that he often demanded. Nines caught the man’s frown & in turn, a small smirk graced his features.

“You’ve been talking to Gavin?” Elijah snapped, covering up any nerves with bravado. “How the fuck did you find him again?”

“I can find anyone.” Nines stated simply, finally turning to face the CEO with a twinkle in his eye. He thrived off of the glare he was met with, as if the man was in any place to defend his own flesh & blood. “A name change only goes so far when I see a dead man walking, Elijah.”

“You tortured him!”

Elijah always did manage to get right to the point.

“To get to you, let’s not forget that & you still haven’t given me what I want. I thought torturing your brother would have at least put a dent in your armour, but-” Nines paused, hand disappearing into his pant’s pocket so he could momentarily toy with his butterfly knife out of habit. “-You really are as heartless as they say.”

“You’re one to fucking talk!” Elijah shouted as he took a step closer to the desk & Nines was rather amused as he entertained the thought that anger issues must run in the Kamski blood. He watched as the man reigned it in, rolling his shoulders slightly as he forced himself to relax. 

“He’s been trying to hunt you down, y’know. He’s been fixated on you the moment you had your men drop him from a goddamn fucking roof! Plus he knows _you’re_ behind the Cyberlife employee deaths... Just like _I_ do.” Elijah paused, shooting Nines a knowing smirk which caused the gangster to narrow his eyes again. But before Nines could say anything, the man continued on with his insufferable complaining.

“Gavin can’t prove it because his theories tie in with him knowing me & he’s stuck in a fucking loop! He’s trying to fit together a goddamn jigsaw puzzle where all of the pieces look the same, fucking whining constantly & quite frankly I’m fucking sick of it, Nines!” As his voice raised in decibel level, Elijah slammed his hands onto the desk in front of him, which caused Nines’ eyes to flicker to the armed guards at the doorway as they stiffened. 

But Gavin was in the exact spot Nines needed him to be. 

With his job slowly piling on too much stress for Gavin to handle, it would only be so long before the man snapped & Nines would be right there waiting. Ready to pick up the pieces.

Nines didn’t even bat an eyelid as he moved to his liquor cabinet & poured two small glasses of honey whiskey. Heading back over to stand behind his desk, he handed one to Elijah as he tilted his head to study the man. “Why are you really here, Kamski? I am sure it is not to discuss my extracurricular activities with that… _wonderful_ brother of yours.” The tone he spoke in was dangerous.

A mild look of disgust flickered momentarily over Elijah’s face before he straightened himself out as he took the drink, only to place it on the table. He brushed down his shirt & then stepped around the desk so he was face to face with Nines, to which the gangster cocked a curious eyebrow. 

To think the man had this much spine, it amused him more than it should have.

“I am here to make an offer. More specifically, I need your help.”

Oh? Well isn’t that an interesting turn of events? 

His silver-blue eyes were piercing as they stared down at the CEO but the man held his own. In an almost sing-song voice, Nines spoke up, “Last time I checked, you are still in my debt after I put a shiny new bullet in your fathe-”

That was the thing with Elijah - It didn’t matter if someone was his own flesh & blood. If someone was in his way, he wanted them gone. 

“I paid my debt & I know what I asked of you... Don’t think I have forgotten about that, or the fact we both know that you fucking enjoyed it.” Elijah cut him off & Nines all but fed off of the overconfidence washed across Elijah’s features. “But this is different.”

The man clearly thought he had the upper hand in this situation. How pathetic.

“Consider me curious.”

Elijah began to explain how he could settle their differences with another deal; that Nines stopped dropping Cyberlife employees & instead helped him with the new drug they were formulating. 

Nines was rather fascinated with Elijah & just how little he cared for anyone at all. He didn’t actually care about his employees dying; he was mostly infuriated that their deaths had hindered his ability to create the new drug faster. He definitely didn’t care for Gavin & yet somehow had managed to convince everyone otherwise.

He had his own father killed & Nines was certain that Gavin still thought their father was taking up a life of crime somewhere.

It’d stay that way, for now. Nines would save that juicy bit of blackmail for when _he_ wanted a favour.

The CEO was convinced that the drug, something he was calling ‘Red Ice’, would take Detroit by storm & the man was convinced because he was never wrong when it came to his gut feeling. 

He explained how he already had a few people hooked on the stuff, all it had taken was some tinkering in a Cyberlife lab & already people were willing to throw everything they had away just to get another hit.

Elijah conveniently left out just how addictive it was, how people had already died from smoking the unbalanced strain that he had since fixed, instead spinning it as a high that’d leave people wanting, no… _needing_ more. He just needed Nines’ particular expertise & ties to the right people to get the drug distributed across the city. In the process, he would give Nines a cut of the profit, even if it was just to keep his mouth shut.

Elijah never did want to get his own hands dirty. He much preferred paying others to do his less than legal work for him. Funny how humans rarely changed.

“North & Markus specialise in weapon trades, not drugs. Hell, North barely allows alcohol in the Eden Club.” Brittney piped up from across the room, never looking up from her tablet & clearly just as bored as Nines was if her bland tone was anything to go by.

Nines’ eyes flickered to her, a small smirk tugging at the one side of his lips before it fell back as his gaze returned to the CEO.

Blatantly ignoring her, Elijah replied with, “This is different, Nines.”

“So you have said.” Nines’ voice was bored. Elijah clearly picked up on Nines’ disinterest & looked in deep thought for a moment as if he were trying to think of something else to say so he could sway Nines to his side.

“Half the profit rather than a quarter.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I said _no_ , Elijah.” Nines didn’t really know what had prompted him to say no. The money Elijah was offering if this drug was to be believed, sounded too good to be true. But there was something stopping him; the drug carried too much risk. That, or maybe his conscience was finally starting to whisper to him. 

“I knew the risks of simply coming here & walking into this room with you. I refuse to leave with nothing & you, you never fucking let anyone leave with nothing. _Everyone_ knows that.”

“My reputation precedes me.” Nines flashed Elijah that infamous smirk of his, a look sparkling in his eyes that mirrored the way a shark would look at a wounded fish. 

Nines leaned in close, his lips barely an inch from Elijah’s ear before he whispered, “If there was no deal, most men would leave in a body bag, Mr. Kamski. I would be careful, if I were you, I just got this rug cleaned.”

Elijah’s eyes flickered down to the grey rug in which they were standing on, then back to Nines’ face. “If you do try anything, you won’t live long enough to see just how far my men & I are willing to go to knock that smirk off your pretty little face.” Elijah stated in a rather arrogant tone, one of his hands coming up to trail along the tie Nines was wearing.

In that moment, Elijah was just as untouchable as Nines was & they both knew that.

Nines’ eyes followed the CEO’s hands & it took a lot more restraint than he’d care to admit to not grab hold of the man’s pathetic little hand & bend it backwards until it snapped. 

This was business, so he had to behave. Or at least, that’s what Nines told himself. It seemed he had been doing that a lot lately.

“So, how about we _talk…_ Like we used to.” There was a glint of _something_ in Elijah’s eyes as his hand wrapped around the base of Nines’ tie so he could pull the gangster a little closer. 

Then, that hand dropped to rest over Nines’ belt buckle & the smirk that Elijah flashed him had something dark twisting in his gut, but Nines pushed it down.

_‘Like we used to’._

* * *

When Nines had just started out, he whored himself out to any pretty boss who was willing to sweeten the deal, even just a little. After all, he had learnt it was better than the alternative.

Amanda used to terrify him. Things had tempered out since then, but Nines was often threatened with being thrown back into the A9 Genetics testing labs if he were to step out of line in the slightest. 

So, to avoid having his freedoms stripped from him; Nines refused to disappoint, no matter the cost.

Amanda wanted certain deals at a certain price? Nines would charm the other person with his looks & the odd flirtatious remark. If that didn’t work, then he dropped to his knees; made them feel special, as if they were the only one he’d do that for.

_Nines refused to disappoint, no matter the cost._

He crafted it into an asset he could use, perfecting a charming persona to get his way. 

Sex really was the ultimate problem solver.

He did the same thing to Gavin. Whatever the argument or the friction between them, it didn’t matter, it would end in sex as Nines knew that it’d be enough to distract Gavin for a while until the detective inevitably forgave him for whatever he had done to wrong him. 

Elijah had just been another one of the men he had charmed, or thought he had.

Elijah had taken an interest in Nines long before he had started killing his precious little employees. They had met years ago, when Nines’ preference was wetwork over anything else. Back then, he & Cain actually made a rather good team when there was a common enemy.

Elijah had contacted him, needing some help.

Outside of the two of them, nobody knew they had ever even met, let alone on more than one occasion. Blacksites, burner phones, the usual when you were meeting someone in secret.

Elijah wanted Nines to kill someone for him & offered a pretty penny for it. 

It needed to be silent & clean, nothing noticeable like what Sixty would do. The CEO demanded that not even the man’s family could find out about his death. Elijah wanted this man to vanish, no trace of him left behind. 

For the effort, Nines wanted a higher price to which, initially, Elijah refused. But then Nines used his mouth, got on his knees & just like that, he got the price he had demanded.

So now Elijah was trying that again. But Nines had long since grown out of that… phase.

With a surprising amount of grace, Nines gently took Elijah’s wrist to remove his hand from where it was resting over his belt. After taking a sip of his whiskey, relishing in the way it burned his throat, he spoke up in a calm tone, refusing to show his annoyance, “I said no.”

“Shame... I always did prefer your mouth when it was used for _that_ instead of talking.” Elijah murmured in a low voice which earned him an ice-cold glare from Nines.

“I’d watch that tongue if I were you. Unless you’d like me to cut it out of your head.” With that, Nines let go of Elijah’s wrist, shooting the man a glare before brushing down the non-existent creases in his shirt with his now free hand.

The pair seemed to stay in their little standoff, the tension weighing heavily in the air around them as neither backed down. They were in a strange sort of play for power. Both wanting to come out on top, neither willing to allow the other to get what they want.

Nines chose to relent first, returning to where he was standing at the window. He fought off the twitchiness he usually got in his fingertips when he was resisting the urge to get trigger happy with someone who pissed him off.

“Find someone else to do your work for you, Kamski.” The gangster’s voice was quiet, but it was clear by his body language alone that he was done with this meeting.

Elijah turned, ready to leave, but paused in his tracks as his phone buzzed from within his jacket. After a moment’s hesitation, the man pulled his phone from his pocket to look at the caller I.D. 

A weird sense of clarity formed in his mind as his brother’s name illuminated the screen & he answered. This could be just what he needed to get Nines to play ball.

“Brother!” Elijah all but purred & the man knew exactly what he was doing. Nines knew he was trying to catch his attention & he was reluctant to admit that it was working.

Nines sat at his desk, quietly sipping on his whiskey as Elijah spoke on the phone with Gavin.

He carefully watched as Elijah’s brows pinched together, as though he felt the need to express how he was feeling through facial expressions despite not being able to be seen by his brother. 

“I’m sorry, what?! A drug- Gav, buddy, you know I love ya but do you need your head checked?”

That most definitely was not the right comment to make as Nines could quite literally hear Gavin shout from the other end of the line. 

_“Elij- fuck you! I know what I saw, I ain’t crazy, man! It’s these little red crystals or something, look, I’ll send you a photo as proof! These came from your fucking company!”_

Nines could sense it in Gavin’s tone that he wasn’t alone as the man was trying to stifle his anger into a rather pissy hushed tone. Not that it was working.

Elijah’s phone pinged again through the call & the man couldn’t help the amused huff that escaped his lips at how dedicated Gavin became when he knew he was right.

Nines continued to watch as the man rolled his eyes before he feigned a concerned tone of voice, “Shit, Gav… I had no idea…”

_“Eli, fuckin’ look at the facts! This could be why your workers are being killed. They’re creating a drug from that 310 stuff! They-”_

“Shh, brother, quiet. Does anyone else know-?”

_“What? Fuck no, ‘Lijah, I’m not stupid. I came to you first. I mean, Hank knows but he knows everything-”_

As Elijah flickered his eyes over to Nines, the gangster simply looked down at his open laptop with a cool sense of disinterest on his face. Whatever the reason Elijah had for deciding to not leave yet, it had better be a good one.

“Good.” Elijah finally continued after listening to Gavin trip over his words & ramble about how he had to swipe evidence to slow the investigation just to keep his brother’s ass out of the hot water. There would be a fucking shitstorm if Cyberlife was found guilty of concocting a drug that had already killed three people.

Gavin was bending the rules further & further for the people he cared about & Nines could only wonder with a sick fascination over how the detective would feel if he ever came to know that the care was so one sided.

After thanking his brother for telling him, Elijah told him to keep the information to himself for as long as he could. He said an ever so vacant ‘love you’ to his brother before he hung up the phone with a rather belligerent sigh.

As Nines raised his head to fix the man with a curious look, Elijah spoke before he had a chance to. 

“I’ll give you what you want to know... What my workers died for.” The words seemed to slip rather quickly from his mouth before he could reign them back in. But now they were out in the open & there was no taking them back.

Once more, Elijah had caught onto Nines’ curious side & after the gangster knocked back the rest of his drink, he responded with, “What makes you think I won’t just take what I want?”

Then, there was a silence. One that was almost deafening. 

Elijah eventually held his phone up & shook it as if to gesture to it. 

“You can have Gavin.” 

Oh- _oh,_ now Nines had not been expecting _that._

When he failed to give a response, Elijah made his way over to the desk, taking his untouched drink to sip at it before he looked Nines square in the face. 

“Gavin is everything you want to know about my company. It’s in his blood, quite literally. We've been testing on him for months.”

After another sip, Elijah placed to glass back down & leaned over the desk ever so slightly. “Stop killing my workers, help me distribute my drug for the first month & he’s all yours. I don’t care what happens to him.” His voice was low & spoke in a tone that dripped with danger.

What Elijah didn’t know was that Nines already knew about Gavin’s procedures.

A weird sense of disgust bubbled in the pit of Nines’ stomach. What if Elijah had gone to somebody else? Somebody who wasn’t him who would tear _his_ Gavin apart just to see what he could endure? Deep down it softly tickled some caring part of him that thought it vaguely echoed what Amanda had done with him.

Gavin was his & his alone.

Nines would have loved to have killed Elijah right there & then but, he had to play this carefully.

Slowly, he turned once more to face the CEO, feigning the most curious look he could muster. 

“Again, what makes you think I won’t just take what I want? You’ve just told me that Gavin is the key… You do realise that your brother will drop everything to come running if I so much as click my fingers? He’s such a well trained dog, Elijah.”

Elijah scoffed & rolled his eyes, stepping around the desk once more. He took advantage of Nines’ sitting position, forcibly grabbing Nines’ jaw & made the gangster meet his cold, empty gaze. 

“Oh, Nines, you wouldn’t think I’d just tell you that without having some form of plan, do you? We both know my brother is more to you than just a toy to play with. If you want to see him again, I would take the deal.”

Nines grit his teeth together at the unexpected touch, but he held the man’s gaze, keeping his face stoic as he cocked a curious brow. Elijah was the type of man who, simply because he got his hands on you once, he thought he could do it time & time again with no consequence. But Nines had changed a lot since seven years ago.

“How do I know I can trust this new drug of yours?” Nines stated simply, keeping his voice carefully neutral. 

His question triggered a small smirk on Elijah’s lips as his hand disappeared into his pocket before reappearing again, only to flick a little transparent bag into Nines’ lap. “What kind of man would I be if I bargained without a sample?”

The gangster’s eyes dropped to the little bag so he could study the contents that it held. 

Little red crystals. 

“Again, how can I trust this new drug of yours? Do you honestly think me that stupid to take this?”

“I trust you to know that if I _actually_ wanted to harm you, it wouldn’t be like this.” There was a twisted sort of satisfaction in Elijah’s voice as he eyed the way in which Nines seemed to struggle ever so slightly to keep his hands to himself rather than grabbing the bag. 

Curiosity killed the cat & all that.

He let go of Nines’ jaw, an amused glint in his eyes, “I hope to hear from you soon, _Wolf_. By tomorrow morning at the latest.” He walked towards the exit but just as he was about to leave, he stopped. “Remember: no deal, no detective.”

Just like that, Elijah sauntered out of the room as though he fucking owned the place, his men following shortly after. Nines & Brittney exchanged a glance, the little bag of Red Ice sitting in his lap, ready for the taking.

  
  


The call to his brother had been absolutely fucking pointless. Gavin headed back to the precinct with metaphorical storm clouds suffocating the air around him. Why the fuck did he always look out for pricks who didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about him?

Gavin couldn’t help the subtle feeling that something wasn’t quite right. It sat like an itch he couldn’t quite scratch. It was there as he drove, as he sat at his desk, as he looked over more fucking paperwork that he was going to have to lie on. 

Something wasn’t adding up. With anything. Elijah didn’t know about a drug that came from _his_ company? How could he not? Everything that went on in Cyberlife, Eli knew about. 

Then there was Richard. What had A9 Genetics done to him that he wouldn’t go into detail about? Did him being their little test subject give them both a fucked up sort of common ground that meant his secret was safe with the gangster?

Yeah, because all happy stories end with a cop putting his trust into a goddamn fucking mobster.

With a quiet groan, Gavin hit his forehead against his desk & his hands came up to run through his ever disheveled hair. Fuck this. Fuck this job, fuck these people, fuck his fucked up life. Why was everything always so fucking complicated? 

Why was everyone always hiding something? Himself included.

As Gavin raised his head, a quiet grunt of pain escaping his lips, he eyed the mess of paperwork cluttering his desk. 

He needed a break & not just a walk outside to fill his lungs with nicotine. No, he needed a goddamn vacation. To travel to the places he’d always wanted to visit. Go fuck off to California, see Santa Monica Pier, forget about the bullshit that the hellhole known as Detroit had put him through.

Yeah, like that'll ever happen.

He spent a short while texting Richard, passively asking about how his day was going. He just needed a moment of _normality._ Richard talked a little about having to deal with infuriating people & how he’d rather have Gavin there with him instead.

That brought an ever so brief smile to Gavin’s lips. However, it was short lived. He sent one more text, one saying that he hoped to see Richard after work as they needed to discuss something in regards to a case. He thought that perhaps Richard had some insight into his new drug. There had to be some perks to your boyfriend being a criminal & Gavin would take what he could get.

When no reply came, he pocketed his phone with a sigh & dragged himself towards the precinct’s gym.

The place always seemed to be empty & for some reason, it had always been that way. Ever since Gavin got back on his feet after the torture he endured, he began spending more & more time in the gym as it helped to blow off the ever bubbling anger he seemed to possess.

He always had temper issues, but the incident only served to amplify it further. He was always hostile, always snappy & maybe that was because he was always in fucking pain.

Working out helped blow off that steam, even if his body hated him for it.

So after changing into just a pair of soft, grey sweatpants, Gavin shoved the rest of his clothes & belongings into his locker. He then locked the door to the gym just to be sure.

Nobody ever came in, but if he was going to have his spine on show, he wanted to be sure that he was safe.

Gavin got through a fair few exercises with absolutely no issue. He was actually beginning to work up a sweat & it felt fucking good. But as he began throwing a few punches at a punching bag that was strung up, a voice soon spoke up over Gavin’s quick breathing.

“Punching bags won’t work for you. They don’t punch back.”

Out of instinct, Gavin’s whole body froze up. How the fuck was someone else in here? The showers. Why didn’t he think to check the fucking showers?

His mind took far too long before it actually registered who’s voice had taunted him & his constant need to fight.

Captain fucking Allen.

They hadn’t exactly left things on the best of terms, what, with Joseph accusing him of being a dirty cop & Gavin saying, well, whatever the fuck he said. Something about blaming Allen for not knowing his men were dirty & that was the reason why Richard shot him.

Even though Richard pulled the trigger, Gavin somehow still found a way to blame everyone but him. Fuck, Gavin could be cruel when he was angry.

A deep sigh of relief escaped Gavin’s lips. “You offering to take its place, Cap?” He asked softly, not braving looking over at the man just yet.

He took up glaring at the punching bag instead. He tried to keep his breathing steady, he didn’t want to end up panicking & fleeing the fucking gym before he actually found a way to apologise for pushing Joseph away. Fuck, he was always shit at apologies.

An ever so subtle laugh escaped Allen’s lips & Gavin could hear movement from somewhere behind him. “Hand wraps are on the bench beside you. Show me what you’re made of, Glowstick.”

Fuckin’ _‘Glowstick’._

“I’m made of flesh, blood... fucking plastimetal & polymer.” Gavin couldn’t help the bitter tone in his voice & he laughed to himself. He grabbed the hand wraps, made quick work of wrapping his hands before he finally turned to look over at Joseph.

The SWAT Captain was standing on the mats that were set up for sessions just like the one they were about to have. He was just wearing a pair of simple, black, SWAT branded sweatpants. They hung low on his hips & maybe Gavin stole a glance that he probably shouldn’t have. But fucking sue him, Joseph was ripped & he was only fucking human. Sorta.

A gentle smile sat on the Captain’s lips, his hands already wrapped. “Ready, tough guy?”

Gavin feigned a glare as he made his way over, flexing his fingers on his left hand, eyes flickering to them then back to Joseph’s face. 

A part of him was sort of expecting the Captain to use this as his opportunity to beat the shit out of Gavin because, yeah, fuck knows he had every right to, but Allen was a good guy. His eyes held a forgiveness that hadn’t yet been aired & Gavin felt safe. It made something tight wrap around his chest & fuck if Gavin didn’t know what to do with that feeling.

To begin with, Gavin kept up well. He was able to dodge & block, but with every punch he tried to throw back, the Captain seemed to counter it with effortless grace. He was so easily in control of the situation that Gavin got a small sense that he was going to be worn out far more quickly than he had initially anticipated.

It wasn’t long before Allen managed to dislodge Gavin’s footing & everything quite literally went downhill from there. Once he lost his footing, he lost his balance & too fucking easily, Joseph managed to slam him down onto the crash mat.

Gavin’s back collided with the mat & holy shit, to say that it fucking hurt was a goddamn understatement. 

A groan of pain escaped Gavin’s lips because although he was grateful that the mat was there, that didn’t mean that it didn’t fucking hurt. You’d think that a mechanical spine would be able handle a lot more than a human one, but if anything, it only served to have a rather amplified sensitivity. Why? Because that was just Gavin’s fucking luck.

A look of concern was quick to wash across Joseph’s face which Gavin straight up fucking ignored. His spine screamed at him, as it always did, begging him to stop pushing his fucking luck, but that was the one thing Gavin was oh so great at doing.

Blatantly ignoring the hand that was held out to him, Gavin managed to roll himself over with a wince, pushing himself back up into a standing position so he could realign his footing. “Again.”

“Gav-”

“I said again, Cap! I’m fucking fine!” Gavin snapped, already throwing another punch, which was flawlessly dodged. 

Again, they went through the motions. Gavin blocked the punches that headed his way & he threw a few of his own, but again, in the same way, Allen had managed to dislodge his footing. Gavin, once again, was brought back down onto his back. 

The Captain had been a little more careful this time, Gavin could feel it. As he threw him down, he had sort of gripped at Gavin’s arm so his back wouldn’t collide full force with the mat, but it still managed to hit against it rather hard. Or maybe it was just hard for Gavin seeing as he was already in agony that he was so stupidly pushing through.

Gavin blinked away the tears of pain that were threatening to glaze over his eyes. He ran his hands through his hair, steadied out his breathing as he clenched & unclenched his fists & after what felt like an eternity of him staring at the ceiling, he shoved himself back up. Gavin realigned his stance & he was ready. “Again.”

He could do this. He wasn’t about to fail to a fucking sparring session & he most certainly didn’t need to be fucking babied.

Gavin didn’t even know what it was he was trying to prove. He just needed to accomplish _something._

“Gavin. No.”

“I said again.”

“Gav, you have to know when your body is telling you to qui-”

Gavin’s knuckles collided with Joseph’s jawline. The punch was only half of the strength he’d usually use & he made sure to use his right hand rather than his left because fuck, he was reserving his left handed punches for his asshole of a boyfriend, apparently.

“Did you just punch me to shut me up?” Joseph seemed completely unaffected. Gavin sorta loved that about him.

“Maybe. You said punching bags don’t hit back. You a punching bag, Cap?”

That seemed to do the trick. Joseph rolled his eyes with a sigh & they got back into the swing of things.

It became like a strange sort of waltz. Their footing matched one another, each punch thrown was flawlessly dodged & Joseph’s high kick was blocked by Gavin’s arm. Things were sort of working in a sweat inducing rhythm & Gavin was so sure, so fucking sure that this time he’d manage to keep his footi-

A cry of pain was yanked from his throat as Allen flipped their stances. He knocked Gavin’s balance once more with one easy swipe of his feet & before he knew it, Gavin was back on the fucking floor. Again. 

Even with Allen being sure that he never hit the floor full force, the detective must have landed at a slightly weird angle on his hip because pain shot straight through the whole of his left leg & he couldn’t help but vocalise it.

“No more.” Joseph stated firmly as he crouched beside Gavin, that look of concern shifting into something much more worried. “We’re done. Are you okay?”

“We’re not done.” Gavin managed to spit out through his quickened breaths, it taking a whole fucking lot of effort to focus on his breathing so he could level it out once more the best he could. “I-I can do it, Cap, _please_.” 

The detective internally cringed at the stutter in his voice as talking through pain was always such a goddamn challenge, but he _needed_ a win today.

Whether Allen heard that sheer need in his voice, or it was something else entirely, the man complied.

“Fine. One more, Gavin, then we’re done, I don’t care how much you complain. This is the last time & it isn’t up for debate.”

“Roger that, Cap.” Gavin offered a shaky, half assed smile as he grabbed onto Joseph’s hand so the man could help hoist him back to his feet.

Gavin couldn’t even place his full weight on his left side so his stance was rather skewed & it didn’t take a genius to know that there was no fucking way Gavin was going to be able to handle being dropped onto his back again.

Joseph gave him a once over, studying his crooked stance before taking a step closer. Gavin drew in a few deep breaths, preparing himself to be reprimanded or dropped again. But what he got instead was what he least expected.

Perhaps he needed to put more faith in Joseph.

The SWAT Captain’s hands came to gently hold Gavin’s hips, applying the right amount of pressure to indicate he wanted Gavin to switch his dominant foot. Gavin did without a fuss.

More of Gavin’s weight was on his right side, but in a stance that better protected his left. The Captain then arranged Gavin’s arms into a defensive position so they shielded his face. “You need to prioritise learning the technique rather than fighting to simply overwhelm your opponent.” 

Joseph’s words were spoken in a soft voice, yet they had that edge to them that only a teacher could give. He pressed at Gavin’s good shoulder to help the detectie to align his back into a better position. “Most people’s flaws come from the need for power over the willingness to learn their own strengths & techniques first.”

Gavin couldn’t help but feel as though perhaps Joseph’s words had a double meaning, especially with the look that sat in his eyes as he spoke them. It had Gavin thinking of one man & one man only.

“Protect your weaknesses, lean into your strengths & as you learn, success will naturally follow.”

_Lean into your strengths._

So that’s exactly what Gavin did.

He started things off by dodging a punch & threw one right back with more momentum than he had before, it clearly taking Joseph off guard just slightly. But the SWAT Captain didn’t falter. He always seemed to have such a handle on everything, Gavin was sort of envious.

They kept at it until Gavin ducked to avoid a punch & he finally fucking noticed that Joseph’s footing was ever so slightly off. 

His stance was too open & all Gavin needed to do was-

The detective straightened back out & threw another punch, it was blocked, just like he wanted & when another was thrown his way, he used Allen’s moment of distraction to swipe his leg in between the Captain’s, the side of his foot kicking against the side of Joseph’s. 

Then, he used the man’s momentum against him, twisting them just right so Gavin was able to use his good shoulder to press into Allen’s chest, effectively spinning them around & slamming Joseph straight down onto his back on the mat.

He did it. He fucking did it.

With the momentum, as Gavin slammed Joseph down, he naturally came down too & was now straddling the man’s middle.

“I knew you could do it.” Was all Joseph said, but it a tone that all but reeked of pride. 

Gavin rolled his eyes & avoided the man’s warm gaze. He ignored the burn in his cheeks at the praise & used his right hand to awkwardly rub over the back of his own neck as he murmured quietly, “I- Thanks. I, uh-”

Fuck, why was it so difficult to just fucking apologise?

Gavin became much too aware of the two warm hands that were resting on his thighs just above his knees, too aware of Joseph’s eternal patience & kindness when it came to dealing with Gavin’s bullshit, too aware of how Joseph was there for him in a way that Ric-

“Gav?”

“Hm?” Gavin snapped out of his thoughts. Finally braving it, he flickered his eyes from where he was staring at the floor to look at Joseph’s face. 

“It’s okay.” Was all Allen said, but Gavin could see that forgiveness in his eyes again, but this time it bled through to his words & fuck, it was like this bastard was a mind reader. He just… He understood. Even when Gavin’s words were failing him, Joseph just understood. No judgement, no questions. 

He was good to Gavin & every single fucking time Gavin was in a room with Joseph, he found himself wondering why the hell the darkness in his life had its hooks in so much deeper within him than the light.

Swallowing as though he were gulping down a bitter fucking pill, Gavin pulled himself up while having to fight off scrunching up his face in pain before holding out his left hand for Joseph to take to help him up too.

Joseph took it, hoisting himself up with such grace that Gavin couldn’t help but wonder how the fuck the guy was always so flawless in his movements.

After letting go of Gavin’s hand, Joseph held out his fist.

Gavin couldn’t fight off the grin on his face as he bumped his own fist against Joseph’s, their little habit clearly having not broken.

Joseph mirrored the grin & just like that, they were okay.

Richard never did meet him after work. 

Gavin tried to text again, but since the last one he sent before hitting the gym, he never got a reply. The texts were not even read, so if Richard was ghosting him, then he hadn’t even bothered to see what Gavin had to say.

Gavin had been hoping that perhaps they could rearrange their date once he was done asking Richard if he knew anything to do with this mysterious new drug. The detective had even tried to call Elijah again, but those calls rang straight to voicemail.

Did anyone even fucking use that anymore? He doubted it.

Chloe wasn’t at work either, which was weird. Gavin was supposed to have a scheduled session with her, but she was a no show. Not that he’d complain about not having to talk about his fucking feelings with her, but something just didn’t feel right. He was supposed to be seeing Emma on the weekend & wanted to double check that it was still good to go. But he couldn’t get into contact with anyone.

A day & a half had passed & Gavin knew that he shouldn’t be so goddamn paranoid all of the time, but he couldn’t fucking help it. It was a little too convenient that the people he really needed to talk to were completely MIA.

He knew that Richard often ghosted, fuck, the bastard had disappeared for a month straight after their first night together, but he sort of hoped now Richard was his boyfriend, he’d be told if he was going to be out of town or whatever the loving fuck.

Gavin had been lying on his back on the couch in his apartment, despite the position fucking hurting & had been staring up at the ceiling for what felt like hours. The news was on his TV in the background, muted, as he mindlessly petted Arthur, who was sleeping on his stomach. The quiet purring from the cat was helping to keep Gavin level headed.

But his mind strayed to Richard, as it commonly did. 

Richard worked for A9 Genetics. Which, was a front, sort of. The bastard & likely his siblings had deep ties within the criminal underworld. From first hand experience, Gavin knew that Richard had some hand in weapon trades, which made him wonder if that was a far shot from drug trades too.

Elijah was the proud CEO of Cyberlife & liked to know everything that was going on at all times. So for a drug that was thirium based to pop up without him fucking knowing about it? To put it bluntly, Gavin didn’t fucking believe it. Elijah had to be lying.

Gavin was smack bang in the centre of it all. The brown eyed man had tortured him with the intent on finding out what Cyberlife knew. ‘Nines’ was the one that arranged for his torture. So realistically, the brown eyed man was irrelevant, despite Gavin’s distaste for brown eyes now, that man was likely just a pawn for whoever the fuck Nines was.

If other Cyberlife employees were being killed, Gavin wondered if they were specifically chosen. Perhaps those murders were of employees that had been making the Red Ice. 

He was missing something. He could feel it.

“Well, there’s Amanda.” Gavin spoke aloud, as if he expected Arthur to reply. “She founded A9 after being fired from Cyberlife. Doesn’t that give her the perfect reason to kill Cyberlife workers? ‘Cause she has a grudge against Cyberlife? Fuck, nah… That sounded better in my head. What the fuck are A9 even up to?”

When Arthur didn’t even meow in response, Gavin sighed. “None of this explains who Nines is, Arthur. I’m missing some puzzle pieces.”

He felt like he was running in circles, missing vital pieces of information & with a frustrated groan, Gavin moved his hands from where he was petting Arthur. He rubbed at his face as if that’d somehow help scramble all of the information in his brain into neat little folders that actually made some fucking sense.

Irritated that Gavin had stopped petting him, Arthur’s purring stopped & the asshole of a cat decided to hop off of his lap & onto the floor. He knocked the TV remote in the process & unmuted the TV.

“Arthur! You piece of shi-”

_‘-known as ‘Androids’. They are Human-like robots designed specifically to aid in making life better for everyone.’_

The news reporter’s voice piqued Gavin’s interest, he cut off his own sentence in favour of hearing what they had to say. “The fuck?”

_‘Cyberlife have announced a multitude of models to help with specific tasks. From gardening androids, to family caretakers. Home assistants to receptionists! We have confirmation from the creator himself, the one & only Elijah Kamski, that more models will be announced in the future. Possibly to aid within the emergency services.’_

What the _fuck?_

Gavin’s mind raced through too much all at once, he needed to zone out for a moment to process everything otherwise his brain was going to have a melt down. Too much was fucking happening. But, that explained why Chloe & Elijah had been radio silent.

Fuck, did they push the release of their new fucking toys to mask the Red Ice overdoses?

Why the fuck else would they have done it so suddenly? Fucking Elijah Kamski. Fucking asshole.

_‘We have with us not one, but two CEOs from one of Cyberlife’s top competitors. Care to share your thoughts?’_

“Competitor is a strong word. At A9 Genetics, our field isn’t robotics but rather the human genome. We are forever striving for perfection in our work & are nothing but proud to see Cyberlife flourish.” Was that- Fuck, that voice sounded so familiar. All it was lacking was its usual snobbish, uptight & dangerous edge.

As soon as Gavin heard the name ‘A9 Genetics’, he tipped his head to look at the television screen, the sight very nearly having his breath get stuck in his throat, causing him to choke on nothing at all.

Richard was standing with his hands clasped neatly behind his back, wearing a white button down shirt with a black waistcoat, his curly hair was perfectly styled bar for the one stray lock that always fell perfectly over his forehead. 

He had thick, black glasses sitting on his face, which helped to block the extensiveness of his scar. Wait, Richard wore glasses? Or were they simply to make him look more… Welcoming?

Fuck, he was fucking sexy in glasses. Behind them, he could still see those emotionless, cold grey eyes that he liked a little too much; that were a complete contrast to the tight, obviously fake smile he had tugging at the non-scarred side of his face.

Gavin was so caught up in staring at his boyfriend, that it took a moment longer than it should have to actually drag his eyes away to look at the man standing beside him. Hell, he wished he hadn’t.

The man beside Richard was a spitting image of him… Almost. 

One, tiny detail stood out to Gavin more than anything he had ever seen before.

The eyes.

Yeah, Gavin knew those eyes anywhere.

The detective’s heart was pounding in his chest, his hands shaking as he stared at the television screen in disbelief. 

That was _him._

Deep, honey-brown eyes. 

The eyes of the man that tortured him, that held him over a fucking third storey ledge, that dropped him off of said ledge, that made him plummet to his inevitable demise, that left his body broken-

Gavin’s eyes brimmed with tears as his head began to swim with too much fucking information. 

Why was too much always happening at once?

His mind palace wasn’t exactly fucking helping, it bombarding him with little information boxes about ‘Connor & Richard Wolf’ & their ties to A9 as if he didn’t already fucking know. 

Then there were his stress levels. Angry red numbers that popped up in his vision, gradually creeping into more dangerous, higher levels that if he didn’t keep control of, it earned him lines of warnings that flooded his vision telling him his systems would reboot.

Fucking ‘reboot’. Yeah, so the technology in his brain would overheat, kind of, the headaches would return full throttle & he’d pass the fuck out for a short while. Then he’d wake up & everything would be fixed like nothing happened. Fucking Christ.

To think this was what he had to consider his version of normal.

Through his panic though, Gavin couldn’t shake just how fucking identical the brothers were. Right down to the little head tilts, the curt, false smiles, the hair. Fucking everything. The eyes were the only prominent difference to the human eye.

Sure, identical twins were, well, just that, but there was something freaky about it that was setting Gavin on edge in a way that made his stomach flip uncomfortably.

_‘I didn’t know you had a brother.’_

_‘Two, actually. Connor & Cain.’ _

The conversation replayed in his mind. So there was a third brother. Gavin got a small feeling that he looked just as freakily the same too. So he grabbed his phone, did a quick little internet search & it didn’t take him long to find a photo of Connor & Cain standing beside one another at the opening of the A9 Genetics building. The quality wasn’t good enough for him to properly see in detail, but the eyes on Cain were dark enough for Gavin to see that they were brown too.

Which left Richard being the odd one out. His grey eyes were the main giveaway, but Gavin used his mind palace to help compare the two siblings as they stood shoulder to shoulder, Connor taking lead in talking to the interviewer. 

Richard’s shoulders were ever so slightly wider, chest more broad, his jaw was a little more sharp. It was as though he had been chiseled & fashioned into a more dangerous looking version of the other brothers.

Almost as though he had been genetically engineered to be better than-

_‘We are succeeding in our genetic engineering field. One of the many aspects we research is cloning.’_

_‘Fuck, could you imagine talking to a clone of someone?! They wouldn’t even be a real fucking person! Just a copy! A replica of the original person they were copied from; which is actually kinda sad when you fuckin’ think about it… Would they even feel?’_

More conversations played out in Gavin’s mind. When he had tried to look back on them before, the memories he had with Richard were always somewhat fuzzy, but somehow his brain was now quite happily piecing everything together for him. Fucking mind palace.

Gavin’s words from that night had died on his tongue when he had seen the look in Richard’s eyes. It had been downright fucking dangerous, the man clearly offended at Gavin’s words.

Back then, Gavin didn’t know why they had affected Richard so much. Now though? It all made perfect fucking sense.

_‘You’re not the only one who was a lab experiment, Gavin.’_

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

_Holy fucking shit._

Richard was a fucking clone... Oh god, he was fucking a clone. A carbon copy of Richard’s siblings. A fake. 

Oh god. Oh fuck no.

He felt gross. Was it fair to feel gross? Richard was still Richard, right? _Yeah, keep trying to convince yourself that._

Now they were side by side & seeing the way Connor spoke, Gavin could see Richard spoke differently. Richard spoke in a way that sort of implied he owned the room. It was cocksure. Whereas Connor seemed… Kinder.

Kinder like he wasn’t capable of fucking _torture._

In the midst of his mind changing revelation, Gavin had since stood up, picked up the television remote from the floor with his phone in the other hand & was standing in the middle of his living room. He was trying to blink away all of the fucking information boxes that were cluttering his vision. He was trying so hard to not let his anger get the better of him as he heard Connor’s voice through the television, speaking so fucking highly of Cyberlife. 

It disgusted him.

“Oh shut the fuck up!” Gavin shouted at the television as if it could fucking hear him, all of his memories from his night on the car park ledge slamming into him all at once.

This man tried to fucking kill him! He had tortured him for information on Cyberlife only to be standing in front of news reporters, giving his best wishes towards Cyberlife’s endeavors with their ‘androids’ like nothing fucking happened?!

What the fuck was this city coming to? Androids, cyborgs & goddamn clones?! Gavin was starting to think that he really did need that fucking vacation. That he should leave & never come back.

_FUCK technology!_

He needed to calm down. He was beginning to build up a sweat from fighting against letting his panic get the better of him. Red numbers of his stress levels increasing constantly.

It was all too much. Too fucking much.

Richard’s brother had tortured him! Did Richard know that already when Gavin was telling him about his nightmare? Surely he had to have known!

Connor opened his mouth to speak again & before Gavin could actually realise what he fuck he was doing, he had already done it.

“God, I can’t wait to put a fucking bullet in you!” The detective flung the TV remote full force at Connor’s face, the screen distorting into an array of neon colours before ultimately flickering to black. A hole with spiderweb cracks spanning across the whole of his TV left behind.

Gavin flopping back down onto the couch as his chest heaved & dropped his phone into his lap. He ran his hands through his disheveled hair as tears of both anger tied in with fear slipped down his cheeks.

Richard knew! He fucking knew! He had to have known… There is no fucking way that he didn’t. So all of that bullshit in their shower together? Fake comfort, fake concern, fake everything. Yeah, it had to be fucking fake.

Richard was fake. He didn’t feel _anything,_ did he? Ha, Gavin was a goddamn fool.

_Count backwards from ten, Gav, just breathe through it._ In his mind, he replayed the calming words Tina had said to him on countless occasions as he slowly drew in deep, shaky breaths & with each exhale, he slowly counted backwards. But rather than ten, he was counting back from forty.

By the time he reached the number ‘nine’, the shakiness in Gavin’s hands had subsided & his anxiety had cleared up just enough for him to carefully think through all of the new information he had learned.

First & foremost being that Richard’s sibling had fucking tortured him.

The phrase ‘six degrees of separation’ came to mind.

If everyone was six, or fewer, social connections away from one another, then that meant that Gavin could link all of this together once & for all.

Nines was only a few steps away. 

If he played his cards right, Gavin could use his relationship with Richard to meet with Connor. If Connor was the man who had tortured him, which he was 99% fucking certain of, then that meant that the man knew exactly who Nines was considering he was taking orders from the fucking prick.

If he pushed all of his new found emotions of disgust aside, Gavin could play Richard in a way that he was certain that Richard had been playing him all this time.

In doing so, Gavin would be letting an ugly side of him show that he was trying to keep buried, but then he’d be able to do what he never actually wanted to admit until Richard coerced him into saying it a few days ago. 

He’d get his revenge. 

While he was at it, perhaps he could get his revenge on Connor too. But this time? He’d be sure as shit that there would be no technology to save their lives like it had with him.

There was a darkness deep within Gavin, a darkness that had only been pulled to light on a handful of occasions, but he could now feel it overtaking his whole body.

There had been times in his past that he had fucked up & no one knew.

It was a long time ago now, but Gavin had killed a man & felt no remorse. He was investigating the murder of two children. As they were investigating the house, the murderer was still there, tried to make a run for it & Gavin had lined up the shot to shoot the man in the shoulder so they could bring him in.

Then, that darkness took over & Gavin aimed just a little bit higher.

One clean shot to the head & the world was rid of one more scumbag that didn’t deserve the oxygen that circulated in their lungs.

Gavin felt nothing.

The man had a concealed weapon on him. Was a known murderer. Gavin got let off easy.

Or there was the night after the gala, when that car was tailing him & Richard & Gavin shot the man in the hand, causing the car to serve off of the road & tumble down into the trees below. 

He never brought it up again.

Or there was the stealing evidence to keep Elijah safe, or covering up for a murder that he knew Richard committed. Lying to the people he cared about most & fucking with the core basics of his job after swearing an oath to protect & serve. 

Gavin could feel the bad creeping up around him, wrapping its hands around his ankles in favour of dragging him under.

If he didn’t leave this city, he knew it would consume him.

Somewhere deep within Gavin, he could feel it like a dog could sense an earthquake coming; this was his chance to choose the right or wrong path. This was his turning point.

Gavin could leave or he could stay.

If he left Detroit now, Gavin could get out before shit went from bad to worse. 

He’d have to leave the people he cared about in the DPD behind, he’d have to leave Richard behind, but a part of him thought that perhaps that was a good idea.

Richard was a goddamn thrill in all of the wrong ways & Gavin couldn’t get enough of it. It was intoxicating, but he also knew that a detective falling in love with a mobster was never going to end well.

Gavin had been fooling himself into thinking that it could work just as Richard had fooled him into believing he was human.

To think Richard had the audacity call him ‘not human’. Sure, Gavin wasn’t exactly 100% human, but at least he was his own fucking person. He had his own emotions, something that his boyfriend definitely fucking lacked. Come to think of it, he supposed that Richard having no fucking humanity made sense now.

A shudder ran down Gavin’s metal spine at the thought & he couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped his lips as he shakily grabbed his phone, scrolling through his contacts.

Gavin looked down as his thumb hovered over Richard’s contact name that was still saved as ‘Dick (Wolf)’ before clicking away from it.

He couldn’t bring himself to do it. To use a relationship to get something he wanted. He wasn’t _that_ cruel. Besides, going down that path meant he would lose the one person who truly mattered.

Gavin scrolled to the contact that was right below Richard’s & with a shaky sigh, he clicked the little green call button.

After two rings, the other line picked up.

_“Dad?”_

Tears pricked in Gavin’s eyes the split second he heard that voice, a sad, tight smile gracing his scarred features. “Hey, Em..”

_“You never call me first. Are you okay?”_

Fuck, sometimes Gavin wondered if Emma could just tell from his voice that not everything was as okay as he was constantly trying to mask it to be. Closing his eyes & drawing in a deep breath, Gavin ran his free hand through his disheveled hair.

“I’m okay.” He lied. “I just… I just miss you, is all. I was thinking, how about we go on a roadtrip? Eli is gonna be pretty busy with all of this, uh, android stuff, dontcha think that’s the perfect time for us to get outta here for a little while?”

_“Dad? What’s wrong?”_

Yep, she could definitely hear the shakiness in his voice & Gavin mentally kicked himself for dumping his anxieties on his fucking daughter. The one person who shouldn’t have to deal with his bullshit. “Nothing, baby, it’s just.. Work-” He lied, again. “-It has me stressed. So, how about it?”

There was a long pause, the only sound being heard was Emma shuffling around. Then, he heard her mutter in an irritated hushed tone, _“RK! Put that down.. Fuck sake. Go back to the labs before they see you up here! You know what’ll happen-”_ Although it was muffled by Emma trying to put her hand over the speaker, Gavin couldn’t help but be amused by her swearing.

Hell, there was also the point that she was fucking _talking_ to someone that wasn’t him without being bribed into it-

Finally, she spoke up again, to Gavin this time, _“Yeah, wanna come pick me up from Cyberlife tomorrow? You can tell Chloe, she won’t be mad. She’s been much nicer these past few days.”_

Did Gavin laugh at that? Yes, he did. Chloe? Nice? Yeah fuckin’ right. Sure, she was a help, but that didn’t make her nice. That lady was always just a little bit odd & always seemed ever on the edge of hacking into Gavin’s arm again just because she could.

“Em? Who’s RK?”

It was either curiosity or Gavin’s protective dad instincts kicking in, he couldn’t be sure. He had a small feeling he knew who or what ‘RK’ was. Emma hated talking to people, but he constantly found her talking to technology as if it were going to talk back.

_“Hm?”_

“You heard.”

_“Would you believe me if I said I got a dog?”_

“You hate dogs.”

_“I do not! Okay maybe… Look, Dad, it’s nothing. Just, I dunno.. I saw Elijah working on something… I wanted to, y’know, tinker with it. Because it looks like y- uh, I dunno, I just-”_

Gavin could hear the stress in Emma’ voice & fuck, he did not have the heart to interrogate his daughter. Not right now, at least. “Em, Em, hush. Shh. Look, I don’t trust those, uh, things, I don’t wanna know what the fuck you’re doing, I just want to know that you’re safe. You safe, Kiddo? Give your old man some peace of mind, would ya?”

Jesus christ was he starting to sound like Hank.

_“I pinky swear I’m safe. So, tomorrow night?”_

“Sure thing, Em. I’ll pick you up after work. Me, you, your terrible music taste & a tank full of gas.”

_“Don’t forget the thirium.”_

“The blue shit in my fridge? Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. See you tomorrow, yeah? Love you.”

_“Love you too.”_ Then, right before Gavin was about to hang up, he heard, _“Oh, & Dad? Shit’s gonna be alright.” _

“Language.” Gavin replied through a laugh as he shook his head. “Yeah, shit’s gonna be alright, huh? Okay, get some sleep, Kiddo.”

With that, Gavin hung up the phone, sliding back so once more he was lying on his back on the couch, phone on his stomach as he ran his fingers shakily through his hair.

Thank fuck for Emma.

They wouldn’t be gone forever, Gavin would come back so Emma could see Eli & so he could see Tina, Hank & Joseph. He just needed space. He needed time with his daughter to remind himself of what was truly important. 

Richard? Well, Richard was a fucking magnet. Gavin was too easily attracted to him. With the more time spent around the gangster, Gavin could feel his own moral compass begin to shift in the wrong direction.

Time away meant he could recalibrate, return to focusing on his true north. On the good.

“Shit’s gonna be alright.” Gavin murmured to nobody in particular, as if repeating Emma’s words would help him believe it.

But Gavin knew it was so fucking easy to succumb to darkness instead of running from it. 

Because choosing to be good? Now that was truly the hardest part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A spin off of this fic is being written by the ever wonderful [Pinkwebby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkwebby/pseuds/Pinkwebby)
> 
> It is from Captain Allen's POV after the time he spent in Cyberlife with Gavin after saving him from the river & fuck, it is so fascinating to see one of my characters written from a whole new perspective.  
> So, if you want to see the aftermath of him being pushed away by Gavin, to see him fall for the worst Wolf brother of them all, then check it out [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23813506/chapters/57216313) !!;) Give them some love, they deserve it. <3  
> I hope everyone is safe & well in these strange times & I hope to see ya in the next chapter!  
> Will Gavin get out of Detroit? Or is he destined for sabotage?


	11. No Time To Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As each hour ticks by, more secrets begin to unfold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Important:** This is one angsty chapter! A lot of happens, but in the first section with Nines, he does go through some rather brutal physical violence, so please just keep that in mind. The scenes are split between time bold time stamps, so if that is too much, then scroll to the next time stamp for a scene change!<3  
> With that in mind, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**_Oct. 11_ **

**_2:14 A.M / The Eden Club._ **

Nines was going to tell him. 

His plan was simple. Go to Gavin’s. Tell Gavin the truth. Leave.

Leave before Gavin could try to arrest him on murder & whatever the fuck else charges. Leave before Gavin could put a bullet in him. Leave before he had to deal with the fallout of Gavin realising that the man who he was sleeping with & beginning to fall in love with was the one who ruined his life.

Nines wanted to do this when he deemed it to be ready, in his own time, but Elijah had forced his hand & Nines couldn’t risk the man telling Gavin before he got the chance to.

He had put too much work into the detective to lose him now.

So after press meetings that he didn’t want to attend, he was on his way to Gavin’s.

Nines absolutely fucking despised having to speak so kindly in regards to Cyberlife, hence why Connor had done most of the actual talking during the interviews. But they had to do what was necessary if they were to keep up the charade, fooling the public into believing they were not the rivals that people had made them out to be.

Even though they were.

The sheer disdain they had for one another went far, far deeper than them simply being two of the most technologically advanced companies to exist in the city, or in the fucking state for that matter.

The city was split up into four quadrants & it was always about who had the most power.

The south was A9 Genetics territory. It was where their company building sat proudly, illuminating the sky at night & since it was mostly Wolf family territory, thanks to their mafia ties, that meant there wasn’t a single Cyberlife store in the south-side of the city.

Nothing went on south-side without at least one person from the Wolf crime family knowing about it.

The west was a strange, grey area that nobody dared fuck with. It was rumoured that Jericho ran that quadrant of the city, running all of their weapons trades through the docks, completely undetected. Jericho were… Untouchable. They were dangerous. They had connections. 

Due to Jericho being so close with Nines & even closer with Sixty, nobody dared cross there if they wanted to keep their head & fingers intact.

Sixty was known to have a flare for the dramatics, after all. His unpredictable nature did have its uses… At times.

North & east Detroit were owned by Cyberlife & Elijah fucking Kamski. Cyberlife Tower stood tall on Belle Isle with multiple Cyberlife stores dotted around, selling ‘androids’ now.

 _Fucking androids._

Not that Nines had any right to judge. After all, he only existed due to Amanda’s wish of using human cloning over duplicating AI. He only existed due to Elijah’s & Amanda’s feud.

He should be grateful that they hated one another. But then again, Nines never did show gratitude, not towards anything.

Gavin also resided in the east, near the center of the city. After not stepping foot there for the ten years he had been alive unless dire, it was amusing how often Nines found himself on that side of the city now, despite despising every single street.

Despite Elijah’s threats from their meeting, Nines was still going to see Gavin. Threats never did much to shake him, he was too untouchable. But he did get a feeling that Elijah would make good on those concerning Gavin; because he knew the man would do _anything_ to stay in control. Nines knew that because he was exactly the same. 

Before Nines could see his detective however, he had to attend the Eden Club for business. 

The Eden Club sat on the border between the east & south. It was a strange middle ground that North was in charge of. Only the most prestigious men & women from across the city were to be there. Whether they were of Kamski blood & ties or Wolf, it didn’t matter. 

It was a place of… peace. 

A place of exotic dancers & beautiful lights. An easy mask for the illicit trades & deals that went on below.

His phone was pinged by a blocked number with the address of the club, as though he didn’t know exactly where it was situated, followed up with a rather ominous ‘I’ll be waiting.’

Who was he to deny such a curious little text?

Curiosity. Now _that_ would be the death of Nines.

So that was how Nines found himself walking through the doors of the Eden Club, lights splashing him in an array of pink & blue hues.

He was still in his button down shirt, its sleeves rolled neatly to the elbows, waistcoat & black pants. He still had his thick, black framed glasses sitting on his face from earlier when he had spoken to the media.

“Cute.” Was the first word he heard as soon as he walked through the doors. 

He tilted his head coolly to the side & saw North leaning against the wall, idling as though she were waiting for him.

Nines cocked an eyebrow as he made his way over, North meeting him in the middle by pushing herself off of the wall. They exchanged a kiss on the cheek as polite greeting as Nines whispered against her ear, “If anyone else would have said that-”

“Ah, but I’m not anyone else, am I?”

“Touché.” Nines smirked ever so subtly as he took a step back, pulling his phone from his pocket to show her the text from the blocked number. “Unfortunately, I am not here for the pleasantries you supply this city with.”

North studied the text for a moment, face impassive, almost bored.

 _That_ was why she was one of Nines’ favourite people. She didn’t give a shit. The only people she cared about were her workers, making sure they were getting top notch care. Anything less never did end pretty. That had been proven by Nines’ hand when he had killed one of her patrons for mishandling one of her girls.

Gavin had covered up for that murder he had committed & the fact the detective had done so without any coercion on his part had surprised him at first. But Nines had seen that darkness the man tried so hard to keep hidden & then it all made sense. All he needed was a little… push.

North also cared for her husband, that went without saying. 

The leader of Jericho. The man who saved Cain. Who shaped Nines into who he was.

Markus. Their messiah of all things unholy.

Anybody who dared try to cross that man had to face the wrath of North, then the inevitable hunting game that Sixty would play until he caught up to them. Which, he always did.

Markus was probably more dangerous than Kamski, than Nines, than _Amanda._

He had everyone right where he needed them to be. He was the king & Detroit was his fucking playground. Nines knew that if Red Ice swept through the city the way Elijah wanted it to, Markus would lose that composure he always appeared to have.

Nines flat out fucking refused to be on opposing sides with Markus. He owed the man too much.

“Can’t help ya with that. Although, there’s been talk, Nines. About you. About Kamski.” North broke him from his thoughts.

Of course there was talk. Word always did cycle fast, especially when a fucking Kamski was involved.

Nines shot her a dangerous glower, his hand tightening around his phone with enough force that he was surprised the screen didn’t crack in his grip & was quick to pocket it before just that happened. 

He grit his teeth & muttered, “I am _not_ working with that pathetic excuse of a CEO. If he wishes to see this city fall into chaos, then he may do it on his own terms.” Considering the amount of pure fucking hatred he felt for Elijah, Nines thought he was rather civil. 

North simply nodded with a click of her tongue against her teeth, a curious look on her face for barely a second before it returned to its usual impassive nature. She moved to hold open one of the glass doors. “I believe you.” 

Nines just nodded respectfully, refusing to voice any of the venomous retorts that sat dancing on the tip of his tongue.

“Now, have fun sinning. Oh, & please-” She paused, leaning in close as Nines stepped through the door so she could whisper, “-No more leaving bodies in my VIP rooms.”

“Have a good evening, North.” Was all Nines retorted with, deciding there was no point in making promises that he might not be able to keep. He made his way through the nightclub, keeping an eye out for whoever it may be that had wanted his attention.

He eventually took up leaning against the bar, enjoying the view of one of the male dancers as he sipped on a whiskey, but he didn’t have to wait long. He soon heard the distinctive sound of stiletto heels over the muffled bass of the music, clicking against the sparkling floor as they headed in his direction.

From behind his whiskey glass, Nines eyed the woman who was walking towards him. She had short, brunette hair with bangs, wore body glitter sparkling under the pink lighting, had dark eye makeup & and wore black, laced lingerie that accentuated her figure. As she got closer, he smirked ever so slightly as he realised just who it was.

Yoko. Gavin’s neighbour. How… _Interesting._

She offered him a playful smirk, trailing her fingers along his shoulder the moment she stepped up to him.

Nines’ gaze dropped to them, then back to her face, a dangerous look sitting in his eyes at the unwelcome touch. “Yoko.”

“Nines.” 

She _knew?_

If so, what was the point of that whole facade back outside Gavin’s apartment? She could have so easily told Gavin who he was. Unless she already had- What if she had told him & Gavin had been playing him this whole time?

Nines would not care if Gavin knew who he really was, but it would change things if Gavin had been playing him for some form of personal gain.

He was a hypocrite, used people left & right, yet fucking despised when people used him. Perhaps if he had a long overdue therapy session, it would tell him that his past of being used & tossed aside once people got what they wanted out of him had left some residual trauma that left him paranoid about it always happening again.

But if Gavin were using him, why did it matter? He had convinced himself that all he ‘felt’ for the detective was a simple facade, after all. 

Just how many people did Gavin know who knew exactly who Nines was, while he stayed oblivious? To begin with, it had been a fun game. 

Nines always did enjoy dancing with death & Gavin? Gavin was walking in the goddamn afterlife. But everyone knew that Nines grew bored of his games quickly, especially if it was someone with the same power & motives he had.

Elijah was lurking, ready to fuck up the only thing that had been making Nines’ life interesting. Call him petty, but Nines always wanted the fallout from things to be on his terms & nobody else’s. So before Kamski could make his moves, Nines was going to have to fuck it up for himself.

He very nearly did tell Gavin a while ago, in a stupid moment of boredom when they were sitting beside Gavin’s bed after their first night together. He was going to tell him before things went too far. But then he was saved by his cell, by Brittney calling him out for work.

Those ‘moments of boredom’ were becoming a little too common & the more the name ‘Richard’ left Gavin’s mouth, the more that strange feeling coiled around his insides. But were they really moments of boredom? Or were they really moments of weakness? 

Was it guilt? Or was his body just finally failing him, killing him from the inside out, leaving Amanda having to make a tenth? He knew she would love to be rid of him. 

Yoko smiled innocently, drawing him back to the present. Despite Nines being able to see right through it, he still allowed the woman to take his hand so she could lead him through the club, just past the VIP rooms.

“Now, I do love games.” Nines began, keeping his voice low & knocking back the rest of his whiskey as he followed. “But I do have someplace _far_ more interesting to be, so if we could just hurry this along?”

Yoko simply looked at him over her shoulder with the same seductive look she would give a normal customer. Nines simply cocked an eyebrow, but continued to follow until they made it down some stairs to the storage basement with a little ‘Employee’s Only’ sign above the door.

Nines wasn’t unfamiliar to this room, he had made a fair few deals with less than stellar buyers in this room in his early days but that still didn’t explain why he was here now.

His hand reached back to where his pistol was sitting tucked beneath his waistcoat in its shoulder holster, Nines quickly growing bored & impatient, only to pause as he heard a different woman speak.

“Well now, who would have thought that getting the one & only Nines alone in a room would be so easy.” The soft voice spoke up as Yoko let go of Nines’ hand, “Just put a pretty girl in front of you & you come running. Or was it the text?”

From the shadows emerged a blonde woman, hair tied back into a low ponytail, wearing a simple black dress & it took Nines a few moments to actually remember who she was.

Gavin’s therapist. 

The man sure did keep... _interesting_ company.

When Nines was looking into Gavin a few months back, he found that the man had to attend mandatory therapy sessions after being flung from that car park roof. Chloe was the clever little human that could get into Gavin’s head.

He couldn’t find anything on her. She simply just appeared one day, working at the DPD right as Gavin got back to work. She had no past, no digital footprint, no nothing.

That had definitely piqued Nines’ curiosity.

“Chloe Artei, the detective’s shrink.” Nines spoke with an observant tone, head tilted ever so slightly as he took a step closer to her, a smirk tugging at a corner of his mouth. “I don’t believe in therapy. I simply drink my problems away like a normal person.”

Chloe’s face stayed completely stoic as her eyes flickered over his face & studied him for a moment, completely unphased by the witty remark she’d heard countless times before. “Not even I, the most intelligent psychiatrist in the city, could fix you, _Richard.”_

 _Oh?_ Nines very much liked this woman already. 

He huffed out an amused breath through his nose & didn’t miss the way Chloe eyed him as though she could see right through him, as though everything he had going for him was right there in the open. 

Nines rarely found himself uncomfortable or on the losing team when it came to meetings, but he supposed there was always a chance for unlikely events to take place. 

His smirk disappeared. “Why am I here?”

Chloe looked as though she were about to speak, but then her eyes flickered to somewhere behind Nines. He immediately stiffened as he felt the air shift, hand dropping his whiskey glass before disappearing into his pocket to pull out his butterfly knife.

The sound of the glass shattering on the floor was lost as Nines spun around & he was immediately greeted with an elbow right to the face, just barely missing his nose. 

Thank fuck for that, his face was Nines’ best asset.

The sudden blow had the gangster stumbling ever so slightly, shoes crunching on the broken glass. But that didn’t stop him from glaring dangerously at his attacker, flicking his butterfly knife around his fingers as he ducked after catching sight of a punch getting ready to be thrown his way. All of that & his glasses stayed sitting neatly on his pretty face.

“Do people never sit down, have a drink & a normal conversation anymore?” Nines asked as he swiftly moved so he was standing behind the man. He wrapped an arm around his neck to hold him in place, the tip of his butterfly knife digging into the man’s lower spine.

He rested his chin on the man’s shoulder, flashing Chloe a dangerous smirk. “Kamski _really_ does not want me seeing my favourite patient of yours, hm?” 

Nines wasn’t fucking stupid. He knew that Chloe had to be Elijah’s drop dead gorgeous henchwoman of sorts. After all, he knew that Kamski wouldn’t just let anyone get into Gavin’s head through therapy. The man was too calculated.

Awfully convenient therapy sessions with someone who showed up at an awfully convenient time.

Nines was warned that if he didn’t agree to go into business with Kamski, then he wouldn’t allow him to see his brother. This had to be the man’s play at denying him from seeing Gavin. 

What a clever little mouse the Cyberlife CEO was turning out to be after all.

Yoko had left the moment Chloe had shaken Nines’ hand & a part of him wondered if she truly cared about Gavin at all. Perhaps she too, was just another person Elijah had planted into Gavin’s life to keep an eye on him. It seemed as though the man truly did not trust that brother of his at all. 

Even Nines had more faith & trust in Gavin which was _strange_ , everything considered. Ever since he gave him his pistol to use when they were first leaving the gala & got tailed by someone all that time ago.

Nines never allowed _anyone_ to touch _his_ favourite weapons, especially not that golden trim pistol of his, not unless he had no choice. But he had let Gavin.

 _Hm_. 

Perhaps he truly did have an infatuation with the detective & not simply because of his new found interest with regards to Gavin’s procedures. 

_Very strange._

Shame he was in the middle of business otherwise he could have given that more thought.

“All you had to do was say yes, Nines. Was that truly so difficult?” Chloe asked, her eyes looking as though she were calculating the situation. As though she were contemplating whether it was worth the effort of trying to save the man that Nines had his knife to.

She was almost impossible to read. But if she had Kamski ties, then he doubted she truly gave a single fuck about this poor bastard Nines was inevitably going to kill.

“You could have had the detective all to yourself & none of this would have ever happened.” Chloe continued before Nines had the chance to speak.

He was starting to find it rather infuriating that everyone recently seemed to rather enjoy dangling Gavin in front of him like bait.

“What makes you think I care about the detective, hm?” Nines snapped, letting his frustrations show just slightly as he dug in his blade just a little bit harder against the man’s spine. He chose to ignore the way Chloe’s voice sounded almost… forlorn?

What did she mean by ‘none of this would have ever happened?’

“Your heart rate elevated the moment I brought him up. You get far more hostile when his name is mentioned in a conversation that alludes to him being in danger. Isn’t it interesting that you are so protective of someone that you once wanted dead?”

This is why Nines didn’t like therapy. Too much psychoanalysis and too many fucking questions.

“I’m bored of this.” He stated simply. Was Nines avoiding the truth of Chloe’s words, or did he just want to quench his bloodthirst? Either way, a downright murderous look flickered across his face, his lip twitching ever so slightly as he lodged his blade right into the man’s spine.

There was supposed to be a scream of pain. 

This was the part where he pulled out the blade, flicked it around his fingers to let their still warm blood paint his knuckles & watch in maniacal glee as their body crumpled to the floor.

So where was the scream of pain that he was fucking owed?

Nines pulled out his knife with the intent on spinning the man around so he could slit his throat instead. Perhaps he missed his mark with where he lodged in the blade. But Nines never fucking missed his mark. Every bullet he had shot, every move he had ever made was always on point.

The attacker acted before Nines could even react. He spun around, grabbing Nines’ wrist in an iron tight grip, taking his knife by the blade & ripped it from his hold.

The gangster threw a punch with his free hand, right to his attacker’s jaw, but all that resulted in was the cracking of his own knuckles & a yelp of pain. 

What the _fuck?_

He felt as though he had just punched a fucking metal wall.

Oh.

Now that changed things.

As the man flicked Nines’ knife around his own fingers, blue blood trickled down the polished silver of the blade.

“Is Elijah that loathsome that he can’t even make human friends?” Nines spat as the man grabbed him by the lapels of his waistcoat, all but throwing him to the floor where Nines landed right in the smashed glass. 

Talk about fucking karma.

He struggled to stifle the pained groans, them coming out as little hisses instead, but that still wouldn’t stop Nines from talking too fucking much. Was he a nervous talker? No. But he had never tried to put up a fight against an android before.

Sure, he had been punched full force, by Gavin’s left hand before, not once, but twice. It explained why the bastard had such a powerful punch, but he was still sort of human.

How was he supposed to fight against metal? Manipulate something that didn’t even have a soul or a conscience?

“Poor fuck had to make himself friends. Had to go & make himself his own little personal assistant?” Nines asked as he looked up at Chloe with a knowing look. He was ready to push himself to his feet, but the android stomped on the back of his leg.

Now that… That fucking hurt.

There was no stopping the rough cry of pain escaping his lips this time. 

He felt the bone in his lower right leg snap under the force as the android leant his full fucking weight to it, the shock causing Nines to drop onto his front, his hands pressing against the glass littered floor.

A string of expletives tumbled from his lips & for the first time, he was beginning to appreciate the loudness of the music North had her club. At least nobody could fucking hear him.

Most people in his situation would probably beg, cry out to be heard, to be saved by someone. But not Nines. One man fucking army. Ego too big for his body. Too much pride to be saved by anyone but himself.

Plus he’d heal. So it was fucking fine.

It had been a while since he had gotten his ass handed to him, but of course it’d have to be by a goddamn fucking android. Elijah never did play fair.

Was this his due for getting away with so much for so long?

“The poor… The poor fucking guy is so fucking lonely, that- that he had to rebuild his own brother!” Nines spat out between grit teeth, his pain tapering into a laugh. “Fix his own fucking brother only to offer him off, selling him to the highest fucking bidder. To think you thought... I was unfixable, Artei, you should give your boss a fucking run for his money.”

Nines tipped his head up & smirked at Chloe. She simply stood there, arms crossed as she watched Nines struggle to fight back. The tin-man attacker tangled a hand into Nines’ hair, yanking him up from behind so he was on his knees. 

There he was, quite possibly staring his death in the face, kneeling in glass with a broken leg & all he could do was smirk at the woman who was turning out to be so much more than a simple psychiatrist. 

“I truly am sorry it had to come to this.” Chloe spoke again in that same soft voice, but it sounded so genuine, like she thoroughly didn’t want to be doing whatever it was that she had clearly been ordered to do. 

She raised a hand as if to beckon for someone to come forward.

Now this, this was the part in Nines’ life where he had to question if he had been pumped full of hallucinogens, whether he was truly going insane or whether technology had gotten so advanced that it had him questioning _who_ he really was. 

Something he hadn’t questioned since his first few weeks of getting out of the A9 Genetics labs.

He was Nines. Gangster. Killer. Manipulator. Whatever he needed to be to get what he wanted. 

Richard Wolf was his cover, the CEO of a company that created him, a company that he didn’t particularly like.

He was a clone, an amalgamation of Cain & Connor’s DNA, but he was still himself. His thoughts were still his own, his body was his.

Nines was ruthless, but there was a soul to his body, _there had to be._

Nines cared so little about everything around him, but his soul? That was _his._ It made him who he was, there couldn’t be another him.

The thought of Amanda creating a tenth clone had a strange sense of discomfort sitting in his chest. If it had all of his memories, would it be him? Would he live in that body with this mind?

If he lived, but so did the tenth, would there be two Nines’? The thought made him feel _sick._

He was himself. So how was it that he was now looking into his own fucking eyes?

Coming out from somewhere behind Chloe, the _thing_ that looked exactly like Nines came to stand beside her.

Same eyes, same scar, same… everything.

It was even wearing clothes that similarly resembled Nines’ usual attire. White shirt, black waistcoat & pants with stupidly expensive shoes.

The only difference, the only thing that let him see that it had Cyberlife written all over it, was that fucking LED. Cycling a calm blue as it stood with its hands clasped neatly behind its back.

“Elijah warned you.” Chloe spoke solemnly, nodding to the android replica of him, which then stepped up to Nines, who was still being held in place on his knees in the glass by two stupidly strong arms.

The android silently took Nines’ glasses from his face, sitting them on its own, LED slowly disappearing as the nanites covered it up. 

Just like that, nobody would be able to tell the difference.

For the first time in his life, Nines couldn’t offer up a witty retort, he was speechless for a moment as he studied, well, himself. “You always have fucking tricks up your sleeves, hm?” He started, finally finding his voice. “Don’t think I don’t know… pushing forward the release of your little robots so you can mask the distribution of Red Ice? _Clever_.”

All of the anger & fear that Nines was feeling, he wrapped it up in a metaphorical box with a neat little bow on top, just like he always did. He did it until they morphed into sarcasm & cocksure comments, anything so they wouldn’t allude back to him being quite frankly, fucking terrified in that moment.

_Fake anything enough times & it becomes second nature. _

“Well, aren’t you a handsome bastard?” He tipped his head to look up at the android, to study its stature, its facial structure & it was eerie just how much felt like he was looking in a mirror. Nines flashed it a grin, but the android remained infuriatingly impassive. “I’m no stranger to being on my knees, but I’ve never been in front of myself before.” He just couldn’t help himself.

“Please do stop embarrassing yourself.” Chloe sighed out with a shake of her head.

Nines shifted his gaze so his attention was solely on her for a moment as he tried to wrap his head around exactly what was going on. “I thought Elijah was against replicating humans?”

He spat the words with a hostility that only served to have the other android’s hand tighten in his hair, causing him to grunt in discomfort as he felt some of the strands start to snap under the force.

Chloe’s brows pinched together in a look of almost confusion as she stepped closer, “But you are not human, or have you forgotten that?”

To use Gavin’s terminology, that was a rather shitty fucking excuse.

“RK900 is simply a perfected version of you, Nines. He does not get tired, he does not need to eat. He will never get any grandiose ideas of his own self worth & most importantly…” 

Chloe looked to the RK900 model, then back to Nines, gently cupping Nines’ jaw with delicate fingers, “...He will _never_ answer back.”

“Here I was, just beginning to like you.”

 _“That_ is exactly what I’m talking about.”

Nines grit his teeth for a moment, eyes flickering between the RK900 android, then back to Chloe. “That thing going to replace me? It doesn’t have my memories, my soul... Elijah’s plans? They won’t work.”

For a moment, Chloe looked rather thoughtful, as if picking apart Nines’ words before settling with, “A human soul cannot be made, it cannot be replicated. It simply is. Which means you, Nines, do not have a soul, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise.”

Nines was losing his sanity. Whatever threads of it he had left, it was all being shredded apart right here, right now, in the basement of a fucking strip club.

Chloe was wrong. _She had to be wrong._

“You are simply a defective copy of your siblings, Nines. A copy that is so easily replaceable.”

Those words struck a chord deep within Nines, one that he didn’t know he had & after a moment that felt like an eternity, he muttered, “You’re wrong.” His voice coming out so pathetically broken.

All of Chloe’s wording sounded so scripted, like they had been revised & fucking revised for this golden moment of them being heard. As though they were written for Nines’ insecurities & his insecurities alone.

She crouched down to Nines’ eye level, hand still cupping his jaw. His hands were limp at his sides, no use in fighting, not yet. 

He knew how & when to pick his battles. If he pulled his gun out on this bitch now, he would only end up dead. Then that _thing_ could take his place. Not a goddamn chance.

Chloe’s voice was gentle, as though her words didn’t stab something cruel right through where Nines’ heart lay in his chest. It already had fissures but now they were threatening to split it apart. “You are nothing, Nines. Nothing but an outdated experiment from a company that, by tomorrow, will be eradicated from the tech field by their very own CEO.” 

He narrowed his eyes. What the fuck did that mean? What were Cyberlife planning?

She paused, took a good look at RK900 & then focused her attention back on Nines. If he wasn’t mistaken, there was a sadness somewhere distant in those blue eyes of hers. But as quickly as it was there, it was gone. “All you had to do was agree.”

She took her hand away as she stood herself back up, smoothing out the creases in her dress & took a step back. 

“Dispose of him.” She stated bluntly & almost immediately, the android that was still holding his hair used his other hand to bring Nines’ knife to his neck, but this time, he acted faster.

Nines knew this was coming. Had known the moment that LED got covered up by those nanites that this was the plan, but he just had to know for sure. Elijah wanted Nines gone. The little shit figured he could replace him? Destroy A9 Genetics from the inside out? _Clever._

Nines was almost envious of the strategy. 

If he worked hard enough, perhaps he could use Gavin to royally fuck up Cyberlife in return, but Elijah would be wise to that play if he made it.

One of Nines’ hands flew up to grab the knife by the blade, gritting his teeth as it sliced open the skin on his palm. He held his hand there & red quickly starting to drip down his wrist.

Red.

Because at least he was fucking _alive._ For now.

“You need me, Chloe.” He spoke evenly, refusing to allow the desperation show in his tone & instead replaced it with a hiss of pain. “Elijah wants Amanda? Name your fucking price.”

There was no hitch in his voice, nothing that alluded back to the idea that he was somehow lying. Because he wasn’t. Their relationship had long been broken & the thought of handing her over to her enemy just to save his own life actually managed to amuse him somewhat.

That loyalty that he was so sure he cared so much about? None of that mattered now, not anymore.

Wiping Amanda off the board meant that she wouldn’t go after Gavin.

The threat she had made was long overdue.

Chloe raised a hand, the android immediately pausing. It pulled the butterfly knife away from Nines’ hand & dropped it onto the large cable spindle that was beside some storage boxes. 

Nines pressed his palm against his thigh, vainly attempting to stop the bleeding a little bit as he looked up to Chloe. He hoped that the desperation he felt didn’t show in his eyes as he plastered a false, over-confident smirk on his face. Even if it was half hearted. 

Chloe studied the scene, Nines kneeling in broken glass & his own blood, offering over his own creator to save his own life. Was this just as bad as Kamski offering over Gavin for his own personal gain?

She looked to the RK900 unit that was still standing, simply watching the scene unfold just as she was, before she turned back to Nines. “Elijah doesn’t just want Amanda. He wants your company gone. He wants _you_ gone.”

Nines attempted to struggle to his feet, despite the difficulty given that one of his legs was fucking broken, but it only ended with him being shoved back down by the other android. It then stepped away & that fucking RK900 unit took its place.

It didn’t speak a single word as it slammed his head against the glass riddled floor. Once, then twice.

Just that alone was enough to have Nines’ head momentarily spinning, but he did welcome the distraction from his spiraling thoughts.

“There has to be some irony…” Nines cut the android off, a soft hiss escaping his lips as pain sparked through his jaw as he spoke, “...in myself trying to kill me, no?”

Clearly, the android version of him was not fucking impressed if what came next was anything to go by.

Nines was helpless to do anything as the RK900 unit dragged his face across the glass littered floor by his hair. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling as every single shard ripped through the right side of his face. The side that was already scarred. Rough cries of sheer fucking agony were yanked from his throat, forced out of lips that he was desperately trying to keep shut.

The ever silent RK900 must have had some fucking knowledge on Nines if the first thing it went for was his vanity. His face. The thing that he used to charm his way out of anything.

The heavy bass to the music playing upstairs managed to reverberate through the floor that he had his face slammed against. Perhaps he was beginning to go a little delirious from the agony, perhaps he didn’t fucking care, but the amusing thought crossed his mind that this must look like a scene out of a goddamn fucking movie. Backing-track & everything.

Nines drew in a deep breath, gritting his teeth impossibly tighter together as he forcefully flipped himself onto his back. Desperation drove his actions but he didn’t want his face dragged through glass again.

It was almost fucking impossible to ignore the fact his own blood was streaming into his mouth & into his eyes. He felt it sticking to his scalp, covering his hair & the feeling made him a little too light-headed for his liking.

Fucking shit. 

He booted his good leg out, kicking the android version of himself right beneath the kneecap & it dropped onto one knee. He was genuinely fucking surprised that it worked.

“No, I will not fucking marry you.” Nines huffed out sarcastically. He weakly threw another punch as he pushed himself up onto his knees once again, ready to try & stand despite the undiluted, white-hot pain searing through every fucking fibre of his being.

Only, the punch was caught by RK900. It tightened its hand around Nines’ knuckles, pulling another pained grunt from his mouth, before it slammed his hand down by the wrist, effectively pinning it against the large, wooden spindle.

Nines’ eyes widened in horror as he saw the android reach for his butterfly knife. 

“Wait! Wait- _Fuck!”_

Too late.

Nines tried to use his free hand to grab at RK900’s wrist that was going for the butterfly knife, but the android was far, far fucking stronger. The blade was already being stabbed through his hand. For a moment, his vision blacked out & he didn’t even register the guttural, rough cry of pain at the sheer force the android had used to slam the knife right through. 

Nines slumped over himself against the cable-spindle & boxes, his head falling limp against his arm that was pinned in place.

“That’s enough!” Chloe’s voice echoed throughout the basement, static lacing her mortified words ever so slightly, which only solidified exactly what Nines had been thinking this whole time.

Bitch was a goddamn android too. Of course she was.

She knew how to get in his head, just like she got into Gavin’s on the weekly.

It was only when she spoke that RK900 stood itself back up.

Nines had no clue what caused Chloe to stop the events that would have inevitably ended in his death, despite her being the one to order them in the first place. But then again, not everyone was cut out for the gruesomeness of this life, whether they were human or android, apparently.

“RK900, with me. Myrmidon? I want this done quietly.”

As Nines raised his head, blinking away the blotchiness in his vision, he was able to see Chloe & RK900 walking away through the delivery exit, _Myrmidon_ heading back towards him.

Grinding his teeth together through the agony, Nines’ free hand flew to the knife that was pinning his hand to the board, drawing in a deep breath as his shaky fingers wrapped around the handle, ready to rip it out.

He was not fucking dying. Not today. Not until… Not until he knew Gavin was safe from that thing that was going to try to replace him.  
  
 _Funny._

Nines was finally starting to worry about someone else’s safety & all it had taken was a near death experience. 

Gavin was _his_ & his alone & no one would take that away from him. **  
**

**_4:42 A.M / Cyberlife._ **

“Is it done?” Elijah’s muffled voice could be heard as Chloe made her way into the laboratory, Emma sneaking behind, pressing her ear to the wall beside the door so she could listen in on what they were talking about.

Elijah was acting weird. He had been up all night, every night, over the past few weeks, barely sleeping & more snappy than usual. Emma wanted to find out why.

“Yes.” Chloe replied rather simply before adding on, “The Myrmidons need to be stronger. The human was able to get a drop on it far more quickly than anticipated.”

“He beat _my_ machine?!” 

“No. He _almost_ beat your machine. But it has done what it was ordered to do. RK900 can take his place soon.”

Emma clamped a hand over her mouth to keep her surprised inhale of breath to herself, mind running over all of the implications of what she had just heard.

“I hope he suffered.”

“He did.”

Tears pricked in Emma’s eyes as she listened in on the conversation, her breath catching in her throat & it was a struggle to try to keep it quiet so Chloe wouldn’t pick up on it. Her hand clamped harder over her mouth as she shakily drew in slow breaths through her nose, closing her eyes for a moment to try & not freak the fuck out.

She needed to tell Gavin! _They hurt Richard!_

Once her breathing was a little less shaky, Emma peaked her head up to look through the little glass window of the door & was met with the sight of the RK900 unit staring directly at her.

Her eyes widened & she immediately ducked back down again, sitting with her back against the wall for a moment to catch her breath _again_ from the sudden startle.

Shit.

The android said nothing, though. He couldn’t. Emma had sneaked her way into the labs a few times & had learnt that Elijah hadn’t given RK the ability to speak.

She listened as closely as she could as Chloe & Elijah simply continued to speak about something that she didn’t quite understand. Plans for a new company building, or something like that. They were talking as though they hadn’t just hurt Richard to try to replace him.

Nibbling on her lip, she pulled out her phone to scroll to the contact labelled, ‘Shithead AKA Dad’ & speedily began to type out a text.

_‘Hey Dad, don’t suppose you wanna skip work & pick me up sooner? Kinda excited for this trip x’ _

That seemed good enough that Gavin wouldn’t proceed to worry, even if she was sending it just before five in the morning, when she really should be asleep. But she had insomnia just like he did, so perhaps he wouldn’t be too bothered.

She needed to tell Gavin everything before RK could get close to him. She needed to tell him about Chloe, about what Elijah was doing, about everything.

As soon as they were away from the city.

Because Emma knew her father & knew that he would cause a little too much damage to Elijah with his fists once he found out about RK. 

Right as she clicked the send button, the little ‘not delivered!’ message popped up, causing her brows to furrow together as she tried again, then again, then once more for good measure.

Each time she tried to click send, the box greyed out & refused to let her.

_‘Dad?’_

_‘Gotta tell you something important.’_

_‘Call me.’_

Each one, just like the last, went undelivered.

**_5:30 A.M / Gavin’s apartment._ **

Gavin wasn’t entirely sure how or when he had moved from lying on his couch to lying in his bed, or how he had even got out of his work clothes & into the sweatpants he slept in. Yet, there he was, sprawled on his front with his face smushed against his pillow.

He was too fucking worn out to properly register the banging outside his front door, his tired brain simply registering it as his neighbour being annoying. His left arm was beneath his pillow, the other, well, it was dead from lying on it for too long, he had no fucking idea where it was positioned.

Often, when his anxiety was running a little too high, Gavin would wake up the next morning feeling a little hungover, of sorts. His head was fuzzy & ached, body heavy with no energy to move. 

So when his alarm on his phone yanked him fully out of the first alright sleep he had going for him in a while, he couldn’t help but groan moodily into his pillow.

He thought he could block out the noise from outside & sleep for a little while longer.

No such luck, unfortunately.

The hand that was numb reached back in a rather uncomfortable position to try to reach for his phone, dumbly patting around his bedside table for it. But, the alarm shut off before he found his phone & he let his hand fall back limp.

“Thanks..” Gavin grumbled rather incoherently into his pillow, nestling his head more comfortably against it before freezing up completely.

_Wait._

Gavin’s hand that was beneath his pillow wrapped itself around his pistol that he always kept there to help ward off his anxiety, or y’know, an attacker, finger snaking around the trigger, the other thumbing the safety.

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.” A voice that Gavin wasn’t sure if he recognised or not spoke up. Calm, collected. Maybe that put him more on edge than if the woman speaking was hostile.

He froze in place for a moment, mind palace finally waking up along with him & a little information box popped up in the corner of his vision. The voice recognition software was becoming awfully handy when his human brain decided to give up on him.

_North._

_How the fu- Oh for fuck sake. Just fuckin’ shoot her, Gav. Knock her off her high horse._

Yet another quiet groan escaped Gavin’s lips & he did not have the fucking energy to be dealing with this bullshit right now. He had way too fucking much on his mind already, having North of all people breaking into his fucking house was only going to make it worse.

“First-aid kit.”

“What?” Gavin grumbled as he ignored her warning & kept his gun in hand as he, as gracefully as he could, flipped himself over & sat up on the edge of the bed in one swift motion. Fuck, did it fucking hurt to do that, especially seeing as he was still sore from his sparring session with Joseph.

The moment he sat up, the muzzle of a gun pressed right in the centre of his head, North’s voice coming out far more hostile & almost desperate, “First-aid kit! Where the fuck is it?!” 

When Gavin blinked away a few information boxes that he didn’t need to look at, he could see why she was so frantic.

The woman was covered in blood.

Ah shit. Just a normal fucking morning in Reed’s life.

Being a cop for so many years left Gavin used to having guns pulled on him. Pair that with spending so much time around Richard & ever since their first meeting, ever since all of the bullshit that man put him through back at the warehouses, Gavin didn’t so much as flinch as the cold metal of the gun pressed further against his skull. 

Worst of all? At this point? If someone actually pulled the trigger, they’d probably be doing him a fucking favour. At least then he’d get some decent fucking uninterrupted sleep.

“Hospital’s all shut for you fucking criminals, huh?” Gavin smirked tiredly & he most definitely didn’t miss the way North’s finger tightened around the trigger just a little bit. But then realisation set in. That was Richard’s gun.

He saw the unmistakable golden detailing crawling along the fucking thing & Gavin’s eyes flickered from looking a little cross eyed at the gun to dangerously glare right at North. “Where is he?”

The blood across North’s shirt & hands? Not her fucking blood. 

Gavin pushed himself off of the bed, leaning closer to North, even as the gun dug harder against his skin. His voice dripped with danger, a tone that not even Gavin had heard himself use before. “Where. The fuck. Is he?!”

North opened her mouth to speak, to inevitably say something that would make Gavin question why the fuck he didn’t just shoot her in the foot for pissing him off, but her words were cut off before they even had the chance to see the light of day.

“Darling.” There was that gorgeous voice. Alluring & usually oh so smooth, but even Gavin had to admit that in that moment, it sounded like fucking garbage.

Without thinking twice, Gavin tucked his gun into the back of his sweatpants & spun around to feast upon the sight in the doorway.

Usually he’d be thirsting over the handsome fuck. But right now? Gavin had never felt heartache hit him so suddenly in the chest before. 

Richard was… Oh god.

The man threw something in Gavin’s direction & he caught it without thinking twice, but didn’t have time to look at the little device. Instead, he dashed towards the gangster right as one of his shoulders slipped from where he was leaning against the doorframe, doing so as to not put pressure on one of his legs.

Richard looked as though he were about to pass out & almost face-planted the fucking floor, but Gavin was faster.

“Bathroom cabinet!” He spat in North’s direction, nodding towards the door that led to the bathroom as he carefully wrapped Richard’s arm around his shoulders, the other coming to rest around the gangster’s lower back. 

It was a little bit awkward given he was still holding what Richard had thrown at him, but he managed.

Within an instant of him speaking, North slipped past them to disappear into the bathroom & as Gavin carefully got Richard, who, yep, had definitely passed out, into the living room to lie him down on the couch, he could hear North rummaging around his bathroom cabinets for everything she needed.

Now Richard was lying on the sofa on his back, Gavin could properly take in the sight.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck.

The man was still wearing his swanky fucking attire, but his waistcoat was unbuttoned & the base of his shirt was torn, it had been used as a makeshift bandage which was wrapped around his hand, absolutely saturated with blood.

There was blood splattered all across Richard’s shirt, some parts far more drenched through than others & there was… Was that thirium? Blue. Lots & lots of fucking blue. Not as much as the red blood, but-

Then there was Richard’s face.

Some of the blood had been clearly wiped away by North already, but there was still so fucking much across his face that it had Gavin wondering just how much blood one man could lose before it could kill them.

Apparently, it varied. Two litres of blood meant there was a good chance he could go into shock & die.

_Thanks brain._

There were jagged slashes down the right side of Richard’s face with one particularly deep one across his nose that similarly matched Gavin’s scar. Another prominent one cut along Richard’s cheekbone & down along his face, with blood still trickling out of it. 

He couldn’t tell if the others were any less severe given the amount of blood that was blocking him from seeing the damage properly. Shit. If Richard lived, he just knew the smug prick was going to kill _everyone_ & his goddamn vanity would be to blame.

Upon slightly closer inspection, Gavin could hear that Richard’s breathing was barely there & that’s when his panic finally settled in. _“North!”_

It had only been a few short minutes since North was holding a gun to Gavin’s head in his bedroom, but when shit like this happened, time seemed to slow the fuck down & Gavin always felt like the seconds were dragging out just a little too long.

He took a moment to inspect the device that Richard had thrown at him earlier & what the fuck? Was that a thirium regulator? 

That explained the blue blood.

“Oh, Richard… What the fuck have you got yourself into?” Gavin murmured as he put the regulator down on the coffee table. He let out a sigh of relief that he didn’t know he was holding when North came back in with all of the supplies she would need to fix up the gangster.

North had Richard’s gun tucked into the back of her pants now, shoving past Gavin to crouch in front of where the man was lying.

Gavin pushed his coffee table back slightly to give her room, acting fast to place the supplies across it so he could hand them to North, who was already working on opening a pack of antiseptic wipes.

“You clean up the blood on his face, I’ll work on the damage to his hand.” North spoke up, her tone void of anything as she handed Gavin the antiseptic wipes that she had finally torn open.

Gavin took them & shifted so he was sitting on the arm of his couch, facing Richard with legs either side of him. He then ever so carefully hoisted the gangster up just enough so that his head was resting more against Gavin’s leg as he got to work on cleaning up as much of the blood as he could.

He was glad that Richard had passed out, that way he didn’t have to worry about the bastard stabbing him for trying to fucking help.

“What the hell happened to him?” Gavin asked in a hushed tone as if he expected Richard to wake up as he continued to wipe away the blood, going through wipe after wipe. He used his other hand to hold one of the antiseptic wipes to the fucking nasty gash across his cheek that wouldn’t stop bleeding.

North was completely quiet & when Gavin looked up for a moment, he could see that she was so unbelievably focused that she likely didn’t even register or hear Gavin’s question.

She had unwrapped the makeshift bandage from around his hand, dropping the bloodied up cloth into a little paper bowl that Gavin had kept next to his medical bag in the bathroom for this exact fucking reason.

She had a wad of cotton balls pressed to her knee, Richard’s palm resting over them as she intricately superglued the gaping wound that was on his hand back together.

Fucking superglue.

_Fucking criminals._

This whole ordeal made Gavin feel like the sane one.

The detective kept quiet though, he had no place to ask her why the fuck she was using superglue when she was actively trying to stop the bleeding.

Gavin carefully leaned over so he could drop the bloodied wipes into the bowl before grabbing some butterfly stitches, medical thread & a needle.

Jesus fucking Christ, he was no doctor, but his own body had been fucked up so many times over that he’d picked up a thing or two from the Cyberlife technicians & medics that had repeatedly fixed him up. 

Gavin first got to work on using the butterfly stitches on the smaller wounds on Richard’s face, the ones that just needed to be held together for support until the bastard’s quick healing kicked in. If that’s even how it worked.

Once they were sorted, he then moved on to using the needle & thread, getting to work on stitching up the more severe gash. The one that spanned from his right temple, curved across his cheekbone & tapered off in two separate directions along his cheek. 

Not going to a hospital meant that the scar would likely be messier than if a professional were stitching him up, but thanks to his mind palace, Gavin was able to get his stitching as precise & careful as he could to minimise the amount of damage that was going to be left behind.

It took a long time of Gavin breathing as steadily as he could to try & keep his fucking hands from shaking. He had only managed to stitch half of the wound before the shakiness in his left hand became too much & he had to pause, gently tapping North on the shoulder to break her from her focus.

With the back of Richard’s hand superglued together, it meant that North could focus on stitching up the damage on his palm properly. Her handiwork was absolutely impeccable & she was just finishing up wrapping a fresh bandage around Richard’s hand when Gavin tapped her.

She looked up, blood smeared across her head from where she had pushed her hair off of her face, Gavin murmured, “I can’t- My hands-”

North’s brows pinched together as an unimpressed scowl fell over her features. But then she looked over at Gavin’s hands & saw just how shaky his left one was. Even if there was a gun pressed to his head, Gavin wouldn’t have been able to tell you if North looked genuinely understanding or not. All of her fucking moods seemed to settle right into a resting bitch face.

She nodded & the duo carefully switched places so she could carry on where Gavin had left off.

“This stitching is almost perfect.” She murmured in a focused tone as she leaned in close to continue the handiwork, “What happened with your hand?”

Gavin shrugged as he moved his focus to Richard’s leg that was sitting at a slightly weird angle.

After internally cringing at the severity of the injuries Richard had sustained, Gavin carefully began to feel along his lower leg, silently praying that he wasn’t about to feel a broken bone sticking out of the skin. “Got fucked up a while back.”

There were no bones sticking out but that didn’t mean it wasn’t broken, though. Gavin gently moved Richard’s leg so it was propped up on a pillow on the arm of the couch. At least with it sitting straight, hopefully whatever the fuck had happening could fix itself if Richard kept it still.

“Oh?” North sounded genuinely interested despite her distracted tone.

Gavin swallowed the lump in his throat as he contemplated what was worth saying or not.

He wasn’t allowed to talk about his procedures, but nobody was stopping him from talking about his torture except himself. Hell, he couldn’t even fucking talk to Tina about it.

People knew. Of course, people knew. It was literally written all across Gavin’s fucked up face, but people also knew not to ask.

But if Richard trusted North clearly with his life? Then Gavin supposed there was no fucking point in lying. Why were criminals so easy to confide in? They were supposed to be on the opposite sides of life, for fuck sake.

Gavin glanced back towards his smashed TV, everything from last night slamming into him all at once. At least North didn’t bring it up. Perhaps she didn’t fucking care.

“Some fuck tortured me. Left behind some residual damage, if you couldn’t tell by the face.” As Gavin said that, he ducked his head as those pesky little insecurities caught up with him, reminding him of just how fucked up his face really was.

Sometimes he forgot that he looked like he had gotten a little too close to a goddamn fucking saw blade.

“Join the club.” North nodded & that was the first time that her eyes actually flickered up from where her hands were working. She glanced up at Gavin, only for a second, before looking back down at Richard. “Same goes for this dumbass too.”

He got a small feeling that she wasn’t talking about whatever had happened to make Richard end up looking like the wreck he was now.

**_6:30 A.M_ **

There were heavy bags beneath Gavin’s eyes, he was still sporting his disheveled bed hair, sweatpants & a loose black sweater to hide his spine from North, looking like a hot fucking mess. Maybe take out the ‘hot’ part. He was just a fucking mess.

North had helped to clean up the mess that they had created while playing doctor on a fucking gangster in the middle of his livingroom & Gavin had taken her distraction as his chance to yank Richard’s pistol from where she had tucked it into the waistband of her pants.

He made a comment about how if Richard saw her holding his gun, then she’d lose a finger, but she simply glared at him, shrugging it off without seeming to care before heading off to Gavin’s balcony to make some calls.

Gavin got a spare pair of his sweatpants & an old t-shirt from his room so while North was outside, he could ever so carefully get Richard out of his clothes & into ones that were not drenched in two shades of blood.

He changed him into the sweatpants without too much difficulty. They were a little short in the leg given the height difference, but it was better than being in blood drenched dress pants.

When he got Richard out of his shirt & waistcoat, he put the t-shirt down on the arm of the couch as his eyes raked over the gangster’s torso for a moment.

The scar along his abdomen from Gavin’s knife stood out so clearly that he had to resist trailing his fingers along it. There were bruises forming all along Richard’s ribs & they trailed across to his sternum. Fuck, it made Gavin wince.

He remembered when his body looked like that, but worse. Bruising all along his back, along his hip, his ribs, his face.

Seeing his reflection for the first time after he woke up in a Cyberlife lab, a metal fucking arm sticking out of his shoulder where his left one should have been, half of the bones in his body replaced with fucking metal imitations, practically feeling all of the pins stuck in them that held him the fuck together... it made something sour settle in the base of Gavin’s stomach that had never gone away.

The scars that littered his face, that cut through his features in stark fucking lines that never faded, that told everyone he met that he was the one to get tortured & survive? They were his daily reminder of what he had been through. There was no escape from the memories, no matter how hard he fucking tried because the scars, the reminders, they were there every time he looked in a goddamn mirror.

Gavin tipped his head slightly as he studied Richard. Like, really, really studied him.

Sure, they’d fucked a fair few times. They had showered together & spent a lot of time together, but Gavin had never let his mind palace run so freely in really picking apart someone’s appearance. He had done it to Joseph back when they had been at Cyberlife after the man had saved him from Detroit river, but that had been an accident. 

It was almost creepy. No, scratch that, it was definitely creepy.

But as his mind palace worked this time, he didn’t stop it & picked up on the tiniest little details. The freckles that were so faint, they could barely be noticed, the scars that faded so much over time that they were almost non-existent.

Richard had a few of those.

But, the ones that stuck out to Gavin were the scars on his upper chest, more towards his left collarbone that almost looked like a tally count.

Four perfect little lines with a diagonal one cutting through them. Four more beside them. 

_Nine._

_Nine fucking scars._

_Did that mean…_

They were so well hidden. Hidden beneath his skin. 

Gavin’s mind picked apart the little differentiations between the skin tones & easily drew the conclusion that Richard had skin grafts taken to cover those particular scars.

But Gavin could still see them. 

In that moment, it felt as though nobody else in the world could see those scars except for him. As though they were a little ‘fuck you’ from the world for thinking he could fool himself into thinking any of what they had together wasn’t completely fucked up.

Richard wanted to keep them hidden. He wanted to keep a lot of things hidden, Gavin supposed. But then again, so did he.

Gavin’s body seemed to favour reacting before his mind could actually run through what those tally marks could mean. Perhaps they didn’t mean what he thought they meant. 

His hands were a little clammy, his heart was beating just a little bit harder in his chest & his breathing quickened.

_Don’t jump to fucking conclusions, Gav. Just breathe. Play this smart. You’re a goddamn fucking detective. Use your brain. Use your fucking brain-_

Gavin left Richard’s shirt off so he could analyse those scars over & over & fucking over again, pouring fucking salt in his own wounds because of fucking course he would. 

He had taken up sitting on the edge of the coffee table, Richard’s pistol in his hand & resting on his thigh as he quietly studied the man he had been calling his boyfriend, waiting for him to wake up.

Gavin didn’t even realise that he was grinding his teeth together out of anger, teary eyes staring dumbly at the unconscious man lying on his couch.

 _“You’re fucking… you’re...”_ Gavin trailed off as he couldn’t still quite bring himself to accept what he was seeing. He was kind of glad Richard was unconscious because if he were awake, Gavin wasn’t sure what he would have done.

But that thought wouldn’t leave him. The accusation tugged open Gavin’s ribs, crawled inside & made itself at home right inside his mechanical heart. It would sit there & fester until all that was left was an ugly, dark mess where his heart should be.

 _Fuck_.

Gavin glanced down to the gun that he was gripping so tightly, the nanites on his hand were beginning to crawl away around his fingertips. He began to wonder if there would always be guns, violence & blood involved when it came to them both.

The way Richard had been eyeing him at the gala that night. The way Richard knew he was a detective before Gavin had told him, he had passively mentioned Gavin’s paranoia on their first night together before Gavin had even mentioned something like that in conversation-

Richard knew a lot of fucking things about him & it was now starting to make sense.

Gavin had called him a manipulative prick, Richard had agreed. He’d also called him a psychopath & Richard had agreed. If he called him a fucking stalker, would he agree on that one, too? Stalker, manipulator, gangster, fucking criminal, a goddamn fucking clone. 

But Gavin still couldn’t say the one name that danced on the tip of his tongue.

Fuck. He was in deep with someone with more fucking damage than he could ever have.

Richard’s eyes slowly blinked open & Gavin watched as the man visibly tensed up, non-injured hand flying up to where his shoulder holster once sat before he let out a pained groan, tipping his head slightly to try to take in his surroundings.

His silver eyes were dazed, blinking a few times as he tried to gain his bearings. Once they fell onto Gavin, they studied him for a moment before dropping to where Gavin was holding his pistol & the tiniest of smirks tugged at the corner of Richard’s lips.

If Gavin were not mistaken, he could have sworn that Richard looked almost… Proud.

Obviously. 

_Fucking piece of shit._

He only ever seemed to look fondly at Gavin when guns & blood were involved.

There were still little pieces of Gavin’s humanity tugging at him, telling him to lean in close to gently comfort the man. That he had jumped to conclusions, to stroke his hair back & tell him that he was going to be okay, especially after seeing a look of fear momentarily flash through those grey eyes.

But his eyes focused on that scar that was hidden away on Richard’s chest.

Richard was the man that had ordered his torture, that had him flung off the roof. Richard was the man that had stood over him as he lay broken & dying on the cold ground afterwards. Richard was the one to blame for his scars. For his fucked up body, for the fucking thoughts that wouldn’t fucking leave him. For the fact that he was half a man & half a goddamn fucking science experiment. 

He was to blame. For everything. 

_He was Nines._

But Gavin still couldn’t fucking say it out loud. It was almost like he didn’t want to give voice to his thoughts because then they’d truly be fucking real. They just tangled up in his anger, building & fucking building, bubbling just below the surface with such ferocity that had Gavin knowing that soon he wouldn’t be able to stop them from just spilling over. That wouldn’t be pretty for anyone.

But Gavin managed to keep his face vacant, taking a page out of Richard’s book as his finger tightened around the trigger of the gun he was holding.

“The fuck happened to you? Someone play torture on that pretty face of yours?” Gavin muttered cruelly, using his free hand to slip his phone from his pocket, checking the time before pocketing it again. He was going to ask why the fuck they had barged in at six in the morning but then he caught sight of Richard’s unreadable expression & realised he didn’t fucking care. 

“Ask your brother.” Richard spat back & he looked as though he were about to sit up; that was when Gavin reacted. He leaned forward & pushed at Richard’s shoulder a little less than gently to get the gangster to stay lying down.

“Don’t make me put a fucking bullet in you to keep you still. I’m asking you, _Richard._ ” Gavin’s voice was so fucking calm, it surprised him.

The gangster stiffened as he heard the emphasis put on his name & Gavin most definitely fucking noticed, but chose to ignore that for now. Instead, he waited patiently for a fucking answer.

“He wanted me dead.” Richard’s voice was raspy & barely there.

 _Wanted me dead._ How fucking ironic.

The agony from when he was thrown off that roof, that he felt as he was left dying on the wet asphalt, flashed through his mind. It should have served as a reminder that Richard was probably in agony but that was before he had learned that Richard was Nines. 

Gavin couldn’t believe all facts that he had been blinded to. Even now, a small part of him felt as though he was still trying to convince himself that there were alternate explanations to the little details that were falling into line & he didn’t know why.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Gavin stood up from the coffee table to get the mobster a glass of water & the strongest painkillers he had. Which, were pretty fuckin’ good considering the shit he went through. 

Gavin hated himself for caring. He may be a prick, but he wasn’t that much of a prick that he actually enjoyed seeing someone in pain. He wasn’t like Nines.

Once back in the livingroom, Gavin momentarily put Richard’s gun on the table along with the glass of water so he could hand his boyfriend, yeah, fuckin’ boyfriend, the painkillers. Once they were in his mouth, Gavin passed him the water.

 _Boyfriend._ Gavin couldn’t believe he was still subconsciously calling Richard that. Perhaps he was just as messed up as Richard, after all. 

He allowed his thoughts to wonder for a moment.

Why did Elijah want Richard dead? Them being rivaling companies wasn’t fucking solid enough & Elijah wouldn’t do that. He wasn’t like that. Was he?

Nobody was who they seemed to be anymore.

“He sent one of his toys to do the job.”

“You… beat an _android_ that tried to kill you?” Gavin sounded almost impressed despite his anger, because he kind of fucking was.   
  
Who the fuck fights a robot & wins? _Nines,_ of fucking course. Goddamn psychopath.

The conversation fell quiet when the gangster didn’t respond. He simply knocked back all of the water & Gavin took the glass to place it down on the table, picking up Richard’s gun once again to inspect the detailing on it.

There was a strong tension bubbling in the air, similar to that of the crackling of thunder before the lightning strikes full force. A storm was coming, they could both feel it.

The gangster gently took a hold of Gavin’s free hand & Gavin was fast to yank it from his grip. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

Gavin snapped his eyes down to the man’s hand, watching as it fell back limply at his side before he grabbed his cigarettes from the coffee table, sparking one up & taking a much needed, deep drag. He held the smoke in his lungs for as long as he could before he released it slowly, the smoke a thick cloud that hung between them as he looked at Nines out of the corner of an eye.

Richard tipped his head to the side. “Do you despise me as much as you clearly dislike your television?” There was none of that pain in his voice like earlier & his eyes narrowed as he watched Gavin watching him. 

Was that pain from earlier fake? Just a ploy he used to try to get him to crumble & give in? Gavin couldn’t help but feel like Nines was treating all of this like a goddamn fucking game.

But this wasn’t a game. This was Gavin’s _life._

With his face devoid of anything, cigarette sitting between his lips, Gavin picked up Richard’s bandaged hand to inspect for a moment. His self hatred only grew as he took a second to savour the feeling of the warmth that the man seemed to always have in his touch. 

Then, Gavin simply dropped Richard’s hand, not missing the soft wince from Richard as his hand fell back against his stomach.

“Thought you healed fast?” Gavin muttered, taking another deep drag from his cigarette as he ruminated over how each word that fell out of his mouth left him one step closer to that one burning accusation that he still couldn’t quite say.

Gavin’s tone had been bitter. A bite to it that he didn’t even know that he possessed, but push him far enough & it was only a matter of time before he snapped & well, here they fucking were.

He was staring at a fucking clone. 

_Nines! A fucking clone!_

He wasn’t even created to be unique. Nines was just a mimic of one of his fucking brothers & that should have been funny, probably should have been depressing, but it was fucking disgusting. 

Gavin had his torture ordered by a man who wasn’t even fucking real.

The gangster reached his bandaged hand up so he could ever so gently cup Gavin’s cheek & Gavin fought against recoiling away, instead gritting his teeth. “It still takes time.”

“Right.”

Silver eyes stayed studying Gavin for a moment before the man let his hand drop from his cheek. Richard could see through his bravado & they both knew it.

“You’re angry with me.” Richard observed coolly, a sickeningly smug smirk tugging at a corner of his mouth.

Gavin saw red. “You fucking _lied_ to me!”

Gavin pulled away, flicking the excess ash of his cigarette into the empty glass that was on the table. He used a hushed whisper-shout considering North was still in the other room, “All that shit you had to say about me not being fucking human & look at you!”

Gavin couldn’t stop himself.

After another deep drag, the detective stubbed his cigarette out even though it was only half smoked & poked a finger at the beaten to shit man lying on his couch. “Fucking parading around like you’re anything more than a fucking lab experiment yourself! A fucking _fake!”_

A flash of anger washed over Richard’s face, looking downright fucking scary before it morphed back into nothing that lopsided smirk. Was he enjoying this?

With all of the stitched up gashes across his face, it made _that look_ a hell of a lot more deadly. A hell of a lot more fucking frightening.

 _That_ was the look that Gavin just knew the man gave people before unleashing hell. Before pulling triggers & slitting throats.

_Before torturing someone._

With some difficulty, Richard managed to shift himself so he was sitting up on the couch. After he regained his composure, he watched as Gavin switched his gun, so he was holding it in his right hand. He slowly reached out, taking Gavin’s left hand & holding it in his non-injured one as he inspected it for a moment. “A fake, hm? That’s a bit rich coming from you, _Kamski._ ” Richard dropped his hand & the ice cold look in his eyes was downright dangerous.

Gavin flinched.

He was fucked. Royally fucked. 

Richard knew _everything._

Worst of it all, though? Gavin really had fallen in love with him.

They say love is blind, but what they really mean is that it makes you fucking stupid. It makes you blind to the bad shit that they do because you want to see the good in them. You want to ignore it when it’s screaming right in your face because you’ve grown attached.

He knew the man was a manipulative prick the moment he had stepped into his car back at the gala. He should have run for the hills yet he let him in anyway. 

Now he knew he was Nines.

Gavin should have punched the man in the face, should have just walked away, should have done _something._ But Gavin just stayed where he was.

“What do you know?” Was all Richard asked in return, that dangerous look in his eye was also evident in his tone. Perhaps they were both done fucking around. 

Good. But Gavin wouldn’t let it slip he knew Richard was Nines, not just yet. Besides, he still needed to work himself up to it.

“My brother wants you dead. Which, is sort of ironic when you think about it…” Gavin made a show of inspecting Richard’s pistol, turning it over in his hands as his thumb played with the safety. “Because not too long ago, your brother wanted me dead too.”

_Come on, Gavin. Just walk away. Go to fuckin’ work. Tell him to fuck off. Tell him you’re done._

“Your brother threw me off of a fucking car park ledge. Left me to die.”

_Walk away, Gavin._

“You knew, didn’t you?”

_There’s no coming back from this, Gavin. You know that, right?_

He waited for Nines to answer him.

“Yes.”

That still smug tone Richard answered with made the anger that was just dancing below the surface finally break free. 

Gavin gestured to his own face with the pistol that was still in his hand. “He fucking did this to me & you don’t even fucking care! But look at you now, _Richard!_ Do you ever think about how karma is a goddamn bitch sometimes?!” Gavin’s voice was dangerous, shaking & yeah, so much for that hushed tone. Now he was just straight up shouting.

For a moment, Gavin’s voice quietened, but only to add more impact to his words as he added on, “Now you’re going to fucking suffer with the reminder too. Every fucking day for the rest of your miserable life. Because of a fucking _Kamski_. A fucking Kamski knocked you down.”

He paused, only so he could gesture to Richard’s face, knowing full well there was one way to cause hurt to the man & that was to take a jab at his fucking vanity. 

Gavin continued to use that low, cruel tone & he spat, _“You fucking deserve those scars.”_

“How _fucking_ d-“

“I _lost_ my fucking arm because of you! Felt every fucking bone snap in my arm & in my shoulder as I landed forty goddamn feet onto my fucking back!” Gavin had never got so openly angry about what he had been through before. Even in his therapy sessions, everything had been so tame. He got so angry, he missed the fact he said ‘you’ instead of ‘him’.

Gavin’s hands were zip-tied behind his back when he was shoved off of that rooftop. It was a miracle that he got to keep his right arm. Both of them had been crushed by his weight, but he had landed more so on his left side than his right.

The gangster went to open his mouth, but Gavin continued, “I nearly fucking died! I nearly lost my fucking job & I sure as shit never got my fucking daughter back because my head is all fucked up! All because Nines wanted to know what the fuck Cyberlife was up to?!”

The man didn’t even say anything, he just sat watching him with that dangerous twinkle in his eye & that fucking smirk on his face.

“Is this what you wanted? To get close so you could see what I’m made of?!” Gavin’s voice was shaking & angry tears were welling in his eyes as he thought about just how many months of his life had been a complete & utter fucking lie. “My whole _fucking_ life was taken away from me that night!”

Gavin’s stress levels were popping up in his vision, little angry numbers climbing & climbing & fucking climbing, little warning signs reminding him of what will happen if he doesn’t calm the fuck down.

He raised his left hand so they could both see as the nanites receded to show off the plastimetal before covering it back up again. He saw the way Richard’s eyes watched, addicted to seeing the way in which Gavin worked.

Because that was just it, wasn’t it? He wasn’t interested in Gavin for _who_ he was. He was interested in Gavin for _what_ he was. 

For what Nines had forced him to become.

“So this was all a fucking lie, huh?! The sex? The late night talks?! What about outside the warehouses, you fucking asshole?! I saw. You put your gun to my chest, but you moved it to my shoulder. You kept me alive. You keep fucking leaving me alive! _Why?!”_

“Because I _made_ you, Gavin. I don’t want to see something I’ve made end up dead & have all that hard work go to waste.” Richard answered in a tone that was so cold, yet so downright menacing that it finally stopped Gavin in his tracks.

He knew it, but to finally hear his suspicions confirmed, Gavin choked up on his words & the rest of the sentence got lost somewhere as angry, tormented tears slipped down his cheeks.

Gavin used every bit of restraint he had, fighting against every fibre of his being that yelled at him to shove the gangster’s gun beneath the fucker’s chin & pull the trigger. 

Instead, he drew in a deep breath, calmed himself before he leaned in close & nudged the muzzle of the gun against those invisible tally-score scars that Richard had tried to hide away from the world.

Tried to hide from _him._

Gavin picked up on the subtle hitch in Richard’s breathing, the ever so subtle elevation in his heart rate, the tenseness in his muscles as the gun was pressed to his chest. 

But that smirk on his fucking face only grew.  
  
“Say it.” Richard’s tone was daringly dark.

Gavin closed his eyes & took a deep breath. He couldn’t fucking look the smug prick in the face & say it. He just couldn’t. 

“You’re _him,_ aren’t you?”

The question hung in the air & after an eternity, Gavin finally opened his eyes. 

He was met with Richard’s grey ones holding his own.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first wrote this chapter, it ended up being 19K words & there was simply no way I could shorten it, so I have decided to split this into two chapters. Which means the next chapter will very likely have the same formatting as this one does with the time stamps unless I change the format of that.  
> So, uh, about that cliffhanger?;) <3


	12. Touch You Where It Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where everything happens all at once. Sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, folks! This chapter was a little more belated than I wanted it to be, as I had to deal with some personal issues, which tied in with needing to change my usernames for security purposes. So here I am! Back under a new alias.
> 
> I just want to say real quick that this story is hitting its 'All Of The Shit Is Going Down' chapters. From the previous chapter, to this one, to the next one, the story is going to get progressively more heavy & angsty. Things are going to get muuuch worse before they get better, so just keep that in mind & uh, happy reading?<3

**_7:30 A.M / Gavin’s apartment._ **

Nine scars.

Gavin couldn’t wrap his mind around how he hadn’t seen them sooner.

Perhaps he didn’t want to see them. Just like how he chose to stay blissfully ignorant to all of the bad shit ‘Richard Wolf’ did. Either that, or he saw the red flags, promptly tore them all down & set them ablaze; deciding whatever dangers that came along with the man, would be worth it for the thrill that the gangster seemed to embody.

How fucking wrong he was.

Once he had seen them, he couldn’t unsee them. 

A tally score of nine lines, angry & jagged, carved into the gangster’s flesh, only to be covered with skin grafts. No human eye would have been able to tell that they were there unless they happened to get so close to scrutinise the minute differences in the man’s flesh. 

Gavin wondered if anyone  _ had _ happened to get close enough to the man before they were covered, that they had seen them. He couldn’t help the feeling that settled in his gut that told him that if any did, they were all probably dead now.

_ “You’re him, aren’t you?” _

_ “Yes.” _

He had Richard boxed up against the wall beside the window now, gripping the gangster’s gun so tightly in his hand that his knuckles were turning white. 

No, not Richard.  _ Nines. _

This was Nines.

The rain was hammering against the window they were standing beside. The storm clouds that had rolled in were angry; they were a deep shade of grey, the city’s neon lights desperately trying to illuminate the sky as the clouds hid the sun away.

It was almost as though the weather just knew. It was as though it could feel Gavin’s mood & had fixed itself accordingly. The worst of it? Gavin couldn’t get it out of his head just how similarly the storm clouds resembled Nines’ eyes. Dangerous & unrelenting.

Just before Gavin had pinned Nines up against the wall, North had naively tried to defuse the situation, only for Nines to get right in her face & demand her to leave in an angry, low tone that Gavin hadn’t heard him use before. 

Nines was many things, but he had nothing but utmost respect for the women in his life, so seeing him get so dangerously close to North & use a tone like  _ that, _ a small part of Gavin was hoping that North wouldn’t leave him alone in a room with him.

Gavin was quickly beginning to realise that he was playing with fire & there was no doubt in his mind that he was going to be the only one getting burned. __

With hesitation, North agreed, but not before reeling off a bunch of threats to Gavin after seeing the danger twinkling in his eyes as he held onto Nines’ gun as though his life depended on it.

The moment they were alone, he had shoved Nines up against the wall, earning a soft grunt of surprise from the already injured gangster.

_ ‘There’s always sunshine after a storm, Gav. Better days will come. I know you don’t think that now. Maybe you won’t think it tomorrow, or next week, or even a year from now, but I swear it’s true.’  _ Tina’s words cycled around his head. _ ‘After the darkness, there’s always light. We’ll catch the bad guys, it’s our job. We always catch the bad guys.’ _

_ We always catch the bad guys. _

Tina had told him that time & time again. 

A reminder on his worst nights that things will work out, they had to. Because when one of their own gets as fucked up as Gavin did, they were relentless until justice was served.

But Gavin didn’t want justice. Not anymore.

He wanted revenge.

He wanted to avenge who he once was, by killing the one who turned him into who he was now.

It was tough to pinpoint what it was about this whole ordeal that hurt the most, but if Gavin had to choose, it would likely be the fact that Nines had been a distraction when he had needed one the most.

When he was getting those headaches, Gavin knew he was dying, but he also knew that he wasn’t going to try to save himself. ‘Richard Wolf’ had been a much needed distraction that made those few months easier, even if he was a prick.

Because that was it, the thrill of the unknown that the man brought with him everywhere he went, had Gavin craving more. Had him clinging on, just that little bit longer. 

Turns out, it was all a fucking lie. A means to an end.

Gavin just couldn’t figure out  _ why.  _

What was the end game here? Did Nines just want to fuck him over? Gavin liked to think that surely the man was not  _ that  _ sadistic, but then again, he knew nothing about him, did he? Richard Wolf wasn’t just a fake name, but an entirely fake personality.

The man Gavin had spent months with, had let into his home, his bed, his life, was a complete & utter fucking stranger. But the most fucked up part? Nines had actively, repeatedly saved Gavin’s life, even after completely tearing it apart.

The headaches would have inevitably killed him & Gavin never had it planned to tell Elijah whilst his brother could still do something about them. The only reason Gavin even ended up in Cyberlife with the neuro-link LED that stopped them, was because Nines had shot him. 

If he hadn't shot him, Gavin would be dead. 

He couldn’t stop his mind from thinking that in a twisted & fucked up way, Nines had unwittingly saved his life that night. It was just a coincidence, but still.

He had put his gun to Gavin’s chest, yet last second had shot Gavin in the shoulder instead before pushing him into the river. He could have killed him then, but didn’t. He could have shot Gavin on that first night after the gala, but he didn’t. He could have pushed him off of Gavin’s apartment building after dragging him onto the roof, but he fucking didn’t.

Nines had the opportunity, time & time again, to end Gavin’s life. Nobody in his line of work left loose ends untied. Someone got free after an interrogation? They got hunted down & killed. 

So why the fuck was Nines keeping him alive? What the fuck did he have to gain when Gavin had nothing to offer?

A crackle of thunder in the distance jolted Gavin from his thoughts & for a moment, he wondered just how long he had Nines pinned against the wall while not saying anything. Not too long given the unreadable look on the gangster’s face hadn’t yet morphed into pure boredom.

“You ruined my fucking life!” Gavin finally spat, his hand that was on Nines’ shoulder shoving him that little bit harder against the wall as his eyes narrowed.

Nines seemed unfazed, he simply tipped his head to the side as his eyes took a second to search Gavin’s face, taking stock of each of his scars before he spoke up in that dangerously cold voice of his. “No, I made you better.”   
  
Those words & the way they were spoken rubbed Gavin so fucking far the wrong way, he was surprised he kept his shit together. 

“You’re not a fucking god, _ Nines!  _ You think being some douchebag rich boy CEO of a tech company makes you anymore fucking relevent than anyone else on this shitty planet? Gives you permission to fucking play with people’s lives like this all some sick fucking game? You’re fucking wrong!”

Gavin could feel his composure slipping further & further & fucking further, but hell if he was going to stop himself. “You’re just a lab experiment turned mobster who thinks he’s so fucking untouchable! Well, newsflash, asshole, you’re fucking not!”

Nines simply stood there, face unreadable as his silver eyes carefully watched Gavin’s every move. Not once did he seem phased by Gavin’s anger. He never fucking was. “I asked you, Gavin, what you would do, if you found the man who did this to you-”

“You sick fuck!” Gavin bellowed, cutting off Nines’ sentence. Tears welled in his forest green eyes as he stared at the man in front of him, taking him in for all that he was.

This was the man that those dipshits who did all the dirty work listened to. This was the man who had decided that he needed to be tortured for information on something that was none of his fucking business.

This was the man that didn’t bother getting his men to stop when they smashed in Gavin’s left leg & fucked up his face. This was the man who told them to throw him off a fucking building all those months ago.

This was the man that had essentially ruined his life that night.

Nines stood before him, all bloodied & bruised. Deep gashes cutting through the right side of his face, wounds that were mostly stitched up by Gavin’s hand as the man’s body desperately tried to heal itself as quickly as it could.

Gavin should have just fucking left him to bleed out. Just like how Nines had done with him.

Those dark thoughts spiraled, wrapping themselves around his bones & driving his actions as his finger inched around the trigger of the gun he was still holding at his side. His eyes studied those fucking tally scars again & again, as though he still didn’t quite believe it.

“My eyes are up here, Red.” Nines mused, an evil glint in his eyes as Gavin’s own flickered back up to meet them.

Despite trying to sound like his usual over-confident self, Gavin could hear the slight inflection in his tone. Years of interrogating pricks who wanted half of the suave that Nines possessed made that tiny hitch in the man’s tone a dead giveaway that looking at those scars was crossing a line.

He did get them covered for a reason, Gavin supposed.

Nines’ bandaged hand came up so he could trail the backs of his fingers along Gavin’s cheekbone, along the scruff on his jaw & Gavin’s stomach twisted uncomfortably at the touch. He even had the fucking audacity to run his thumb over the deep scar that sat hidden there.

Nines’ hands were always so fucking warm. Fucking dickhead.

Gavin could see the adoration in those grey eyes, as though there was nothing on the planet as beautiful as Gavin in that very moment.

Nobody had ever looked at Gavin like _ that. _

The constant back & forth that Nines seemed to be employing; being so strangely loving with one hand, yet so callously destructive with the other, it was starting to get too fucking much.

Gavin swallowed the lump in his throat as the angry tears that he was trying so hard to hold back began to trickle down his cheeks, the gun in his hand beginning to feel just a little too heavy.

He couldn’t help but feel as though this whole situation had some form of ulterior motive. Why hadn’t the gangster tried to pry the gun from his hands yet? It was almost as though he wanted Gavin to pull the trigger & if Gavin wasn’t so fucking worn out, then perhaps he would have known better than to play into Nines’ games.

But then again, hadn’t he been doing that for months already?

That thought was forgotten as Nines spoke up once more in that fucking sultry tone, the one that often bordered the fine line between being seductive & downright dangerous. He leaned in close so his words fell right upon Gavin’s ear, “It was all me, Red. I was the one who did this to you, who made you who you are.” 

The hand that was trailing along Gavin’s jaw came up to grip it instead, so they had no choice but to look at one another. “I left you on that asphalt with every intention of having you die there. I was going to phone that fucking brother of yours & tell him your whereabouts so he could find your bloodied & broken corpse.” 

Phone Elijah? How would Nines know how to get into contact with Elijah?

There was a cold smirk tugging at the left side of Nines’ mouth as he spoke each word. They were said with such fucking cruelty yet spoken in such a soft tone, that despite each feeling like a stab to the chest, the more Nines spoke, the more Gavin listened. Even as the gangster twisted the metaphorical blade in deeper & deeper. 

“You were going to die in the rain, broken & alone & the last person you ever going to see would have been me. Because that is what happens to people who do not give me what I want, Gavin. Now look at you, changed into something so much more by my hand.. the sole survivor of my interro-”

Gavin was unable to stop himself.    
  
He rammed the muzzle of Nines’ pistol right underneath the fucker’s chin, those words being the final shove over the metaphorical edge that had apparently been needed. The gangster’s head hit back off the wall & the man fell silent.

A wicked glint sat in his eye even as Gavin held the gun in place. Nines titled his head ever so slightly, silver eyes sparkling as lightning lit up the sky, illuminating both their faces for the briefest of moments.

That cold smirk still sat on the gangster’s face. Tugging at only the left side of his lips given his right was too fucked up.

Nines’ hand that had been gripping Gavin’s jaw moved to wrap around the detective’s wrist. It was like he could see right through Gavin’s bravado & see all the inner turmoil that lay beneath. Despite his earlier injuries, Nines’ grip tightened impossibly more so Gavin couldn’t pull away, even if he wanted to. It was like the man was calling his bluff.

But Gavin wasn’t bluffing, he wanted to pull the trigger.

For months, he had dreamed of pulling the trigger.

Gavin opened his mouth to speak but before he could, Nines leaned in closer to his face which caused the gun to press even harder against the soft skin beneath his chin & murmured softly, “Never play games that you’re not willing to lose.  _ Do it _ .”

_ What? _

Gavin faltered.

“An act of creation always begins with an act of destruction, Red.” Nines murmured in that same loving tone he used when comforting Gavin on a bad night, like it was something he could just slip on so fucking easy. His finger wrapped around Gavin’s that was already on the trigger, his other hand reaching up to cup Gavin’s cheek.

Dangerous storms of grey met with unsuspecting forests of green.

Standing there, gun rammed under Nines’ chin, seeing those eyes glaring back into his own with a look that all but screamed maniacal intent, Gavin began to wonder how it took him so fucking long to see who Nines truly was.

Gavin’s stress levels were climbing with the more pressure that was applied to the trigger, Nines’ finger only serving to help him along. Yet Nines’ stress levels remained tauntingly the same, never faltering from where they sat at a comfortable 38%.

“If this is what it takes to show you who you truly are, then so be it. You are  _ so  _ much more than a detective, Gavin Reed.”

It wasn’t the first fucking time Nines had proclaimed such a thing. 

How the man had some form of twisted belief that Gavin was anything more than just a cop with a technologically advanced secret, was beyond him.

“Fuck you!” Gavin spat through his tears right in the gangster’s face. Wrath twisted around his insides & projected his words with such sour hostility that would have made him wince, but he was done being sorry for the way he was feeling. “I’m not your fucking pet project! I’m not Kamski’s lab rat & I’m certainly not your fucking toy! Fuck this & fuck you!”

Despite his anger, he wrapped his free hand around Nines’ with a grace that surprised him. He yanked it away from where the gangster was still holding Gavin’s other hand in place.

If he was going to pull the trigger, Gavin was certainly doing it on his own fucking terms.

Nines dropped his hands to his sides, those eyes that matched the storms outside watching Gavin like a fucking hawk.

“See you in hell,  _ Nines.” _

Without missing a beat, the gangster replied, “I’ll be waiting for you, _ Red.” _

Just like that, Gavin rammed the gun harder beneath Nines’ chin & just like that, Gavin pulled the trigger.

There was a hitch in his lip & a crinkle between his eyes, he had been so fucking caught up in the moment that he missed that distinctive click. 

Gavin was expecting Nines’ blood to splatter up the walls, the warmth of it to paint his face in a deep shade of red, a red that was so much bolder than the angry little information boxes that had been plaguing his vision for the past few minutes.

But that never happened.

He tried again.

_ Click. _

Empty.

The gun was fucking empty.

Oh shit.

Panic started to mix with his anger & Gavin tried pulling the trigger again, but the gun simply made that same fucking sound.

That’s when true fear set into his mechanical bones.

Fear as he was met with a maniacal, lopsided grin. Fear as he watched a sadistic glint twinkle in those grey eyes. Nines pushed himself up from the wall, despite having to hold most of his weight on the one side of his body. 

His hands came up to carefully pry his prized pistol out of Gavin’s hands & all the detective could do was stand there dumbly & stare.  _ Oh, I am so fucking dead. _

Was this all a trick? A fucking ruse? Another fucking game? “I don’t un-”

“Detective, how stupid do you perceive me to be?” Nines asked as he released the clip on his gun, showing Gavin the empty contents before pocketing it & limping over towards where Gavin had folded up his clothes.

Shit.

Shit fucking shit.

Gavin knew what was coming next. Even if he wanted to move, he wouldn’t be quick enough. The gangster had already pulled out a new clip from his pant’s pocket that Gavin failed to notice in the rush of trying to get the piece of shit all patched up.

As he pushed the clip in place with a satisfying  _ ‘click’,  _ Nines flashed him a grin that made a shiver run down his spine _.  _ But as soon as it was there, it disappeared, a coolly disinterested look left in its place.

“Nines, I-” Gavin went to speak, what he was going to say exactly, he wasn’t even sure. Something to defend his own life as though he didn’t just try putting a bullet in the man.

But his sentence was cut off as the gangster held the barrel of the gun, holding it out so Gavin could easily wrap his hand around the handle. Nines’ other hand was in his pocket, the man far too fucking nonchalant like he did this every other day.

What the fucking  _ fuck? _

“All it took was a little push. Just a few twisted words to rile you up & you pulled that fucking trigger.” Nines began, taking a step closer to Gavin while still holding the gun out & it was clear that the man was struggling to keep himself up, but he just kept going.

He wasn’t surprised. If Gavin had learnt a single thing about the bastard, it was that he could quite literally be bleeding all over himself & he would still hold his ground. Just like when he had been stabbed outside of the warehouses. 

Nines could be knocking at death’s door & he would still push to have the last word.

What the fuck was Nines trying to prove? What the fuck was his game?! Did he truly say all of that shit about letting Eli find his corpse just to piss him off?! Just to prove a fucking point?! To work him up enough to make him pull the trigger?

Being so ruthless, _just_ to make Gavin angry?

It made Gavin see fucking red.

Nines  _ knew _ the gun was empty & had known the entire time.

He knew that he was in no imminent danger & had simply wanted to see if he could push Gavin to pull the bastard trigger. Like this was all some fucking game.

_ Fucking asshole! _

“You’re fucking  _ insane!” _

“Now, now, Gavin.  _ I’m _ not the one with the therapist.” Nines corrected in an almost bored tone. “Who, by the way, is rather… Interesting. Her & her boss have some  _ fascinating _ plans. Plans that you would be rather idiotic to stay oblivious to.”

What the fuck was he talking about? 

Gavin was beginning to think that Nines wasn’t just insane. He was fucking  _ criminally _ insane & needed a padded fucking cell. Saying & doing anything to get the situation in his favour, Gavin couldn’t tell what was real or false anymore.

What did Chloe have to do with any of this?! She was just- She was just his weird fucking psychiatrist?!

When Gavin opened his mouth to speak, no words came out. He eyed the gun that Nines was offering to him, with a full clip now. All it would take would be for him to grab it & pull the trigger. He had already done it once, so why the fuck was it so difficult to do it again?

He was a cop. Nines was known to have mafia ties. Killing him could be so easily covered up as self defense & Gavin could go on with life as though nothing had ever happened. So why the fuck did the thought of seeing this man dead send something sour twisting around his insides?

A part of Gavin thought that perhaps he knew too, that the gun was empty. Which is why it was so easy to pull the trigger.

The gangster was watching with a wickedly cool sense of amusement as Gavin argued with himself in his own head, his smooth voice yanking Gavin from his thoughts so roughly that he could have sworn he got whiplash.

“Shoot me, Red. You can end all of your hypothetical problems right here & now if you just kill me.” Nines paused, dragging out the silence as long as he could to heighten the impact of his coming words before he continued. “Kill me just like you did the man who killed those children all those years ago.”

Gavin’s eyes snapped up to Nines’ face, taking in the fucking smug smirk sitting on the man’s face before they widened in both fear & surprise. Nobody outside of the precinct fucking knew about that. Hell, hardly anyone _in_ the precinct knew of that.

It had long since been covered up & everyone was none the wiser. Gavin got let off easy given the circumstance & the only people who knew where him, Hank & Fowler.

Apparently, Nines knew too.

_ How? _

_ How did Nines know so much about him? _

“Casualties happen in this line of work, Dipshit, you know that. He ran, I shot. He bled out before a medic got on scene.”

It was a bullshit lie & they both fucking knew it.

Gavin made the conscious decision to shoot the man in the head, knowing full well that the man had killed children. Not a day went by that he felt any form of guilt for it. The world was a damn better place for what he had done & if given the choice, he’d do it again. 

Nines made a soft tut sound, tongue against his teeth, clearly disappointed in Gavin’s answer. 

The gangster leaned in close, pressing the handle of his gun against Gavin’s hand as he spoke in a clear, almost sing-song tone, one that boarded on mocking, “You shot him in the head. You might be able to fool your coworkers, but you can’t fool me, darling. I know everything about you.”

The way he spoke, it sent a shiver down Gavin’s mechanical spine & not in the good way.

He was _ afraid. _

_ ‘I know everything about you’  _

_ ‘I made you’ _

_ ‘You’re mine.’ _

Gavin didn’t even realise that his fingers were wrapping around the handle of the gun that Nines was pressing into his hand. He didn’t even realise that once again, his finger was wrapped around the trigger, practically itching for that sweet release.

“Why the fuck does it matter?” Gavin spat angrily, “He was a killer! Wasn’t like it was someone who mattered!”

Why was Gavin trying to defend himself to this prick?

“So you don’t regret it?”

“Why the fuck would I regret that?! You saying I’m supposed to let a child murderer go free, huh?! What would _ you  _ have done?!” 

There was a moment’s pause in their back & forth, Nines studying Gavin’s face again, as though he was trying to read him through all of the anger. Gavin fucking hated it, because he knew Nines could see everything beneath. He hated it just as much as knowing that Nines was trying to back him into a corner.

“I would have made him suffer. A bullet to the head was far too quick & kind for a man such as that.”

Gavin glowered at the gangster, choosing to avoid playing into whatever the fuck it was that Nines wanted from him with that particular topic & instead backtracked their argument slightly. “You mentioned Chloe. Why the fuck are you talking about Chloe & Elijah?! They have fuck all to do with you!”

Nines studied him for a moment & if Gavin didn’t know any better, he’d say it looked as though the man was hesitating to say whatever the fuck it was that was on the tip of that silver tongue of his.

“Spit it the fuck out!” Gavin spat as he jabbed Nines in the centre of the chest with his finger. “Big bad wolf lost his goddamn words?!”

Nines’ free hand came up to grip Gavin’s wrist, pushing it away from his chest, the action far softer than the angry, dangerous look that flickered through those steel eyes.

“Your brother tried to kill me, Gavin. Do you not wonder why?”

“Maybe because he found out you tortured his brother!”

With a crease in his brow for barely a second, the gangster was quick to throw Elijah under the bus in any way he could. “He already knew.”

_ What? _

“You’re lying.”

“Red, darling, you Kamskis sure can be stupid considering you are known to be the smartest in any given room.” With an indignant sigh, Nines didn’t give Gavin the chance to spit back an insult before he continued.

“Your brother has always known it was me. All those times you opened up to Chloe or Elijah about hunting down who was killing those Cyberlife employees? All those times you spoke of being close to figuring out who ‘Nines’ was? The man knew all along.” Nothing in Nines’ tone indicated any form of lie. “He just chose not to tell you.” 

There it was. Gavin’s whole world being flipped on its head. Everything he thought he knew being ripped from beneath his feet, leaving him to free fall into an abyss of nothing but uncertainty.

That couldn’t be true. Elijah- He had been nothing but caring to Gavin this whole time. Sure, Gavin knew the man was sick of trying to fix him with technology, he could just tell, but Elijah was his brother.

“What the fuck makes you think I’d believe any of the bullshit that comes out of your mouth when you’ve been nothing but a liar & manipulative prick for months on end?!” 

“Why would I lie about that?”

“Because you want me to play into this fucking game of yours! You’re trying to piss me off to get what you want! Again!”

But, it was working. 

Gavin’s anger was practically radiating off of him & there was no doubt that Nines could feel it. The gangster knew exactly what to say & how to say it to get Gavin riled up time & time again, so that all his reason got lost & all he could focus on was getting Nines to shut the fuck up.

“I have no reason to lie to you, Red. Not anymore. The  _ only _ reason I ever lied was to conceal who I really was, you have to believe that at the very least. Besides, are you not curious as to why your brother did this to me?” Nines conveniently left out the part where he had been reluctantly agreeing to the entire beginning of their relationship, using it to keep everything running in his favour.

Of course Gavin was fucking curious. If it was true. But it fucking wasn’t. Why? Because Gavin was too fucking loyal to believe it. He was loyal to his family & if he were going to choose his own brother or a fucking mobster, the answer was obvious.

Gavin’s grip on Nines’ gun tightened & he ripped it completely away from Nines’ hand before he shoved it against the gangster’s temple. 

Through grit teeth, Gavin ground out, “The truth. Now.”

_ This isn’t you, Gavin. _

“Leave town, Detective.” Nines responded coolly, not even remotely bothered by the fact a loaded pistol was being held to his head. Gavin saw him put in the full clip, he could feel the weight of the bullets sitting in the gun, any normal fucking person would have at least tensed up. 

Not Nines.

He didn’t so much as have a hitch in his breathing. 

“Leave town. Take your daughter, your cat & get out while you still can. If you do not wish to see your brother for who he truly is, then it is in your best interest to get out while you still can.”

_ ‘While you still can.’ _

Why did Gavin get the sudden feeling that Nines was  _ actually _ trying to warn him about something that he was still in the dark to? But the bastard was such a fucking manipulator, it was almost a ‘boy who cried wolf’ situation. It didn’t matter if Nines was telling the truth now, he had already lied so much that Gavin didn’t believe it. 

Gavin’s thumb cocked the hammer on the gun & he rammed it harder against Nines’ temple.

_ Just walk away. Leave town, just like you were planning to.  _

“You’ve really got nothing to fucking say other than ‘leave town’?! What the fuck happened to being a cocksure prick, huh? Knowing everything about me & all that bullshit?! You done trying to make me pull the trigger now there are bullets in there?! What the fuck is your game?!”

For every word Gavin shouted, Nines spoke in the opposite tone. Every word that fell from his lips were so carefully crafted & spoken smoothly, as though every action Gavin made was expected & part of his fucking grand plan.

“If you do not want to believe I am telling you the truth, then so be it. Quite frankly, Detective, I am bored of running in circles with you.”

Gavin couldn’t help but scoff at Nines’ words, them sounding so superficial, it had him shaking his head in annoyance.

Fuck did this prick know how to get under his skin in all of the right & wrong ways.

What was it about him that had Nines so interested? What did he know about Elijah & these ‘plans’ that he claimed to know of? What was the end goal here? How much did Elijah truly know & how the fuck was Gavin’s therapist involved?

Despite all of the questions that were tearing Gavin’s life apart around hum, Nines stayed looking as though he didn’t hold the damn thing quite literally in his hands.

He absolutely despised how fucking calm the bastard was.

Gavin wanted to see him falter.

“Nines?” The name fell from his mouth as though it was made perfectly for the man standing before him. ‘Richard’ just didn’t fucking suit him in the slightest anymore.   
  
A rumble of thunder shook the sky outside the window & lightning sliced through the clouds, the storm right over them now. 

The rain pelted against the window, acting as a fleeting reminder that there was a world outside of this moment, outside of the lies & the pain.

Gavin spoke as smoothly as his rough voice allowed him to, roping in as much as his anger as he could so his voice came out calm. “Tell me somethin', are you afraid to die?”

“No.” The gangster replied without missing a beat. Nines’ stress levels crept up from 38% to 40%. It wasn’t much, but it was the falter that Gavin so desperately wanted. He’d take what he could get. He hoped the bastard thought he was going to pull the trigger. “But I’m afraid of you.”

The way he spoke those few simple words; they held such a heavy weight that both men could feel pressing down on them. If Gavin had to choose the words that actually sounded fucking honest when coming from Nines’ mouth, it would be those.

The honesty to them struck them right into his mechanical heart.

_ ‘I’m afraid of you.’ _

Gavin’s tear filled eyes searched Nines’ face for something, anything, to help him read the man. 

Nothing.

Nothing but stitched up wounds, grey eyes that never left his face & a vacancy of emotions.   
  
Gavin knew those wounds would eventually heal & leave scars that looked so eerily similar to the ones he had on his own face. If he were a slightly more poetic man, Gavin would say it was almost like the world was stating they were quite literally made for each other. 

_ God, how fucking fucked up. _

He pulled the gun away, flicking on the safety & throwing it across to the other side of the room where it clattered to the floor, out of reach for the both of them. He got what he wanted. He saw Nines falter.

“You won’t break me again, Nines.”

The man had already had the luxury of doing it once, he wasn’t about to let him do it again. Gavin could see exactly what Nines’ plan was.

_ ‘To show you who you really are.’ _

Nines wanted so badly to see Gavin succumb to the bad, to see him pull the trigger, because then it would prove Nines’ theories right

That darkness that sat within Gavin, it was always there. It always had been & always will be. By shooting Nines, it would only solidify Gavin’s fears that he was just as bad as the people he put behind bars.

So, no, he wouldn’t pull the trigger. He wouldn’t kill the man who stripped him of everything. 

Perhaps there was a part of him that simply couldn’t do it. Despite pulling the trigger twice when the clip was empty, there was a slight relief when no gunshots echoed throughout his apartment building.

Gavin wasn’t a bad person.

He wasn’t Nines. He wasn’t what Nines wanted him to be.

**_2:16 P.M / Cyberlife - Lab 2_ **

“C’mooon… C’mon! There, that’ll do i- Dammit!” Emma cut her sentence off with yet another curse as a distorted, mechanical sound echoed throughout the small laboratory room that she was standing in.

With an annoyed huff, she used the back of her hand to push her hair from her forehead, leaving a grease smudge there in the process, despite her best efforts to not make a mess.

For a few hours now, since RK got back, she had been taking apart the android's throat.

Her laptop was open on the desk right beside the vertical testing bay that the android was hooked up to, running his diagnostics, displayed as little moving graphs & numbers that she continued to keep an eye on in between working. Even more so when the android made what could only be considered as soft sounds of distress.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I’m trying, RK. I really am.” Another sigh, this one a little more defeated than the last as she flopped back in her swivel chair, staring up at the android as its icy-blue eyes watched her every move.

RK900.

To begin with, Emma had no clue why her uncle had created him, but after overhearing Elijah & Chloe’s conversation, she got a sick sense of understanding.

Elijah had no clue that she had been tinkering on him the moment she saw him hidden away in one of the back testing labs. The ones that were off limits to anyone & everyone except for ten very specific people.

Of course, she was not one of those people. She was just a kid. A kid that got to play with computers & stay in her room & keep her mouth shut. But, Emma had sticky fingers & it was an easy feat to swipe one of the laboratory keycards.

Her boredom fueled her actions & Emma had begun to explore the few laboratory rooms that had strict security access. A few weeks prior, she had found the prototype human-like robots that Elijah was working on, but had kept it to herself.

Emma had started sneaking into the labs more often to get a better look at the robots. She had swiped one of Elijah’s work tablets too & it had hundreds of files of the base coding of the androids mapped out for her to see.

So, because she was bored, if not a little curious, she began to tinker. Always tinkering.

She started to play with the coding, seeing which bits she could flip & change.

There were little pieces of code that caught her attention. The ones that had little barriers in place to stop the machines from acting outside of their given directives.

Curiously, she wondered what would happen if she got rid of those. Would telling the machine to stop go completely ignored? Would it listen to the task given but optionally choose to defy it?

She needed to know.

Hastily, Emma copied the code, duplicating it a few times before sending it to herself where she could play with it without Elijah seeing the changes being made.

Fuck, she would be in so much trouble if anyone found out.

Despite that threat, Emma spent endless hours back to back working on the base coding to build it up to something she believed would be better. Would be more fair.

The finished result was something that left her satisfied knowing that she could make changes to the data as she pleased. Those changes would be replicated over & over through the computer worm she had embedded & the machine would be riddled with software instabilities that would leave a little window for it to break through its original directive.

She then masked the code with the original & transferred it back over to its rightful place on Elijah’s tablets & systems, ready to be pasted over & uploaded into all of the machines that the man was creating.

Besides Gavin, nobody else knew about the code. Up until she found RK900 in a back testing bay a few days ago.

He was a spitting image of her father’s boyfriend, Richard Wolf.

To begin with, she had tried to ask him why Cyberlife had made him. Was Richard paying them for him? Hell, being in two places at once sounded like it had its perks.

But when the android opened his mouth to speak, no words came out. She had even managed to sneak the android out of the labs & to her room, away from the other technology, curious to see if that’d help with him being more comfortable with speaking.

But it didn’t work.

So she began her tinkering & used the engineering knowledge she learnt from both Gavin & Elijah to take apart the plating on the android’s neck so she could find out why he couldn't speak.

The answer was found relatively quickly, RK900 had no voice box. Her brows pinched together & a puzzled look washing over her features. Why would Elijah create him with no communication features?

If he was made to be a replica, then he was going to have to talk. Well known CEO's of a company didn’t just fall mute overnight. That’s why Emma could never grow up to one day own Cyberlife.

A few days of trial & error had led her up to this point. She had to look into other android’s workings to see how their wires fit together before she finally wired together something that meant the android might finally be able to vocalise his thought patterns.

Still, no words came out. Just distorted little static sounds each time she got working on his throat. Each time the android’s internal heating systems spiked just a bit, Emma noticed it was in tandem with her touching at the fragile wires each time.

That was when it dawned on her. He could feel pain.

“Shit! Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I swear if I would have known- Y’know, you’re kinda like me.” She changed the direction of her sentence rather suddenly, hoping to distract the android from what she was doing to him. “I don’t talk much either. Not unless you’re my dad or, y’know, a computer.”

So far, Emma had spent as much of her free time as she could without looking suspicious to try to fix the android’s voice box so he could do more than just make little static sounds. They had even sneaked away from the labs on more than just that one occasion. 

But then at a stupid time in the morning, RK900 had disappeared with Chloe for a while & once they were back, that’s when Emma came to learn why RK900 was made. Once Chloe & Elijah left the lab, that was when Emma had snuck back in again.

Still slouched in her swivel chair, she stared up at him, sighing yet again as she wiped her hands on her jeans before she got to explaining. “They want you to replace Richard Wolf. Do you know who that is?”

She was unsure as to whether the android had been told or programmed to know any of this, she was unsure of a lot of things, really. 

More so whenever Elijah was concerned.

When she got no response, Emma decided instead to explain that her & Gavin were going to go on a road trip later that day once her dad finished work, which then had her suddenly realising that RK900 was going to be left alone with her uncle.

RK900 was going to be stuck without her company & a part of her feared that Elijah was going to use the android to hurt more people. She had a feeling that he had already hurt Richard, but she had no way of contacting Gavin to find out because her phone still wasn’t working. Which, she had a feeling was RK900's doing.

So, Emma explained her code to RK900. She told him how it would work & what the results would be if it successfully infiltrated his systems.

The android simply nodded, that being the first action he made in the few days that she had known him that indicated he was listening to anything she was saying.

With a triumphant smile, Emma uploaded the code into the android’s systems, hoping to the high heavens that it’d work.

Once the upload was complete, he didn’t react. She wasn’t entirely sure what she had been expecting really, but no reaction seemed a little… Underwhelming.

Still though, together they began to test to see if the coding worked.

It was simple, really. Or at least, it should have been.

Emma gave RK900 direct orders & if he could ignore them, then they knew the code was working. But every single thing that she asked of him, no matter how absurd, he did with no hesitation.

“Okay… Hack into my laptop. Wipe everything.” 

Fuck, she hoped he didn’t actually do it. All of her work was on that laptop.

RK900’s LED spun yellow & Emma’s laptop screen began to flicker with little error boxes popping up.

“Okay, okay, stop! Right… Hm, now, what would you not want to do, huh?” Emma thought aloud, eyeing the android before looking around the room to see what else she could ask of him. So far, it was clear he had no issue with breaking or hacking into technology. He could do hand-stands with flawless execution & override the door locks using his mind. 

He had done everything she asked without batting an eyelid.

Then, a mildly morbid thought popped into her head. RK900 seemed awfully unfazed with the thought of damaging technology, but what about if he were ordered to hurt a human? Would he do it? Had _ he  _ hurt Richard?

“Hold my hand.” 

RK900 did.

“Squeeze as hard as you can.”

Those icy eyes stared down at Emma as his grip on her hand tightened, tightened & tightened a little more.

Emma’s breath hitched in her throat as the android’s hand squeezed hers, gradually increasing in strength until it became painful. The pain blossomed & sparked across her fingertips, crawling up along her wrist.

For a moment, RK900 faltered. His fingers twitched when he heard a soft pained sound escape Emma’s throat, his jaw was set, LED cycling yellow, then red, then yellow again. 

Emma whispered, “C’mon, you can do it,” & for a moment, it genuinely looked as though he were going to ignore what Emma had ordered him to do.

But then his eyes returned to glaring at her for a split second before looking almost… Afraid. His LED turned red & his grip became crushing, causing Emma to cry out & try to yank her hand away, “Okay, okay! S-Stop!”

His grip immediately loosened & his LED cycled red a few more times before it almost hesitantly returned to blue. Emma hugged her hand to her chest, trying to blink away the tears of pain that had filled her eyes.

Was she on the verge of crying because of the pain? Or because she just wanted RK900 to be free?

Emma let out a deflated sigh as she stood herself up from her chair, tucking it away while still keeping her injured hand against her chest. “We’ll figure it out later, RK. I promise.” 

Despite the pain, she smiled hopefully up at the android & ran her free hand through her wavy hair. “Y’know, when we find your voice, you’re going to have to tell me why Eli wants you to replace Rich. You gotta meet Dad too. I think-"

Emma cut her words off as she heard Elijah’s voice from down the wall.

Shit. Shit, shit.

“Shit, RK, get back on the testing bay!” She spoke in a hushed sort of whisper-shout as she coaxed RK900 back onto the testing station, strapping him back in place like how Elijah kept him, whispering a quick apology at having to do so.

“Wipe today’s memories of Emma Kamski. That’s an order, RK900.” Was the last thing Emma said to the machine before shutting down her laptop & dashing across to the conjoining room where she could hide until she could escape without being noticed.

It wasn’t the first time she’s had to sneak around the laboratories & she was certain that it wouldn’t be her last.

Whatever the true reason was for why Elijah had made RK900, made him look like someone she knew was important to her father, she was going to find out & Gavin would be the first person she told.

**_5:57 P.M / The Precinct._ **

The storm from earlier that morning may have passed, but that didn’t mean metaphorical grey clouds didn’t follow Gavin everywhere he went. 

He ignored Nines’ warning to leave town right away & his day went as follows: he went to work like nothing happened even though his world had come crashing down around him.

It was just like what happened after he had gotten out of Cyberlife.

Gavin had a knack for self destruction & the first step always seemed to tie in with his tendency to avoid the very serious topics that shook his world to its very core.

Once Gavin got out of Cyberlife the first time, with a bionic fucking arm & a metal spine that fucking _glowed,_ he just… started working again.

Sure, he had been technically bound to desk duty & wasn’t allowed back in the field until he passed his gun re-train, but he just got back to work like he hadn’t been shoved off of a forty foot drop & left to die. Like he hadn’t spent the two months after being locked in a fucking white room while he ‘recovered’.

Recovered. Right. Trapped in Cyberlife with no means of getting out. Elijah said it was for the best, that they needed to keep an eye on him & the technology. That they needed to monitor his mindset & vitals.

It felt more like being a fucking prisoner.

Once he got out, he didn’t tell Tina a thing. He barely spoke to Hank & Elijah about it & only ever opened up to Chloe when she pried on days he couldn’t be bothered to argue. But he always answered her questions with more questions that would change the direction of the conversation; which, apparently, wasn't how therapy was supposed to work. 

Sure, he had told Joseph. But he had no other choice. If they would have rushed him to a normal hospital, who the hell knows what would have happened. Elijah would have found some way to blame him for it, so he told Joseph to keep fucking Cyberlife safe.

Why was he still looking out for them? Fuck if he knew. Too fucking loyal.

So, he didn’t talk about it, he never did & instead, Gavin bottled it all up.

Gavin refused to acknowledge that things had changed, that _ he  _ had changed.

He refused to face just how fucked up this all was.

After throwing the gun across the room earlier that morning, Gavin had stormed off to his front door & slid on his sneakers. 

He was still in sweatpants & a hoodie that had some of Nines’ blood staining them, but he had spare work clothes in the trunk of his car. He didn’t even pack any clothes or the thirium he had in his fridge, he had spare clothes at Cyberlife tower & there was no doubt in his mind that once he gets there to pick up Emma, Elijah will all but shove a bottle of thirium in his face.

With his hand resting on the door handle, Nines limped over to him with a small distance between them as he called out his nickname softly.

Against Gavin’s better judgement, he turned to face the gangster.

They exchanged a look, one that didn’t need words, because they both knew what it meant.

Nines was asking for permission & Gavin was fucking giving it to him. Albeit reluctantly. Because no matter what the man did, in the end, Gavin always would.

The gangster strode up to him despite his limp, because of course he fucking would & pressed himself fully against Gavin’s body so Gavin’s back slammed up against the door, which pulled a soft hiss of pain from the detective. It wasn’t a tender action, it was purely possessive & Nines didn’t pause to see if he was okay. Why would he?

The man’s bandaged hand came up to hold Gavin’s neck & jawline, holding his head in place as he pressed their lips together.

Nines kissed him as though he was never going to kiss him, or anyone, ever again.

Nines kissed him as though it was the last thing that would ever spark life into that icy-cold heart of his.

For all Gavin knew, this was just another fucking trick.

But after a long moment, Gavin kissed back. 

Because that was the thing with Ri- Nines; no matter how fucking angry he was with him, no matter how much all of this fucked with his head, from Nines being a clone, to knowing more about Gavin than the detective had ever spoken about, the gangster was the only fucking thing that brought that goddamn thrill with him. Had a spark of energy to him like no other, a fucked up spark that made life worth living.

It reminded Gavin what it was like to feel alive & dangerously so. He should have known that a high like that would come with a low that was just a little too much to handle.    
  
Fuck, perhaps they really were made for each other.

The moment the gangster felt Gavin’s lips move against his, his kisses deepened. His other hand gripped at Gavin’s hip as he pressed impossibly closer, Gavin’s shoulder-blades digging uncomfortably into the door. 

One of Gavin’s hands wrapped around Nines’ wrist of the hand that was on his neck, the other coming up to tangle into the man’s unruly hair, holding him in place as their lips moved in perfect synchronicity with one another.

For the briefest of moments, Gavin thought he could actually fool himself into forgetting who exactly it was he was kissing.

With that in mind, Gavin was the first to pull back to take a breather as he came to his senses & pushed Nines back with far more gentleness than the man deserved.

Gavin’s head hit back against the hard surface of the door as his eyes narrowed at the man who had pinned him in place as he whispered, “I fucking hate you.”

A smirk tugged at Nines’ mouth. “I know.”

Always the same response. Every damn time.

Something bittersweet tugged at Gavin’s chest. He was quick to shove it down, as far as it could possibly go.

Just like that, Gavin walked away. 

There were no ‘I love yous’, then again, neither ever uttered those words. No ‘I won’t be back for a while’. There was no crushing hug or whispered lies of seeing him again. There was nothing. He just… walked away.

With one last glance to those steel, grey eyes that he had yet to decide if he fucking despised or not, Gavin walked out of the door & it took absolutely everything in his power to not look back. Because if he did, he knew he would crumble. 

What a weak fucking man he was.

_ He fucking tortured you, Gavin! Just walk the fuck away. Why do you have to grow so attached to the worst possible people? _

“I still owe you that date, Red.” Nines called after him as Gavin walked down the hall to the staircase.

The urge to tell him to go fuck himself was right there on the tip of Gavin’s tongue, but he kept it to himself. It felt almost like a taunt, but at the same time, at this point, Gavin wasn’t entirely sure Nines quite grasped the magnitude of what he had done.

He just shook his head & let out a vacant, hollow laugh at just how fucked up this all was.

It wasn’t worth having another screaming match, so Gavin stared at his feet with tears in his eyes as he whispered a line that Nines had spoken time & time again. “I know.”

He watched a few tears fall down onto his sneakers, then headed down the stairs & to his car. Because he would go work & act as though he didn’t just kiss the man who arranged his torture. As though he didn’t just hold a gun to his head, twice.

As though he didn’t find the notorious Nines; & let him walk away.

Fuck, was he broken. Rebuilt with technology that not even his brother had been able to perfect. Rebuilt, but his shattered sense of self was something that wasn’t so easily fixed.

Perhaps what he had with Nines was what he deserved. 

Gavin was too fucked up, too ruined to have anything normal anymore. He was just angry & hostile, he was broken & not all there.

That wasn’t someone that Joseph could love, that Hank could call his son, that Tina could call her best friend. 

No, Gavin wasn’t someone who deserved a love of a good nature. Maybe that was why he was so drawn to Nines to begin with.

Drawn to the man who ruined his life? This is why he had fucking therapy.

_ I’m clinically fucking insane.  _ The detective thought bitterly to himself from where he was slumped against his desk in his chair, staring mindlessly at the stack of paperwork he had been trying to bury himself in.

_ ‘My name’s Gavin Reed & I fell in love with the man who tortured me.’ _ Yeah, great fucking conversation starter. 

Gavin had taken all of his unfinished reports & had sat for hours back to back filling them out, wrapping up any loose ends that he had been putting off.

There were two reasons for him deciding to now wrap up all of this old work. 

First, it meant that he could distract himself from thinking; he had already had one breakdown in the precinct’s toilets earlier as he changed out of his clothes & into his spare work clothes. He just stared at the blood droplets on his sweatpants until they were soaked with his tears.

He sat on a toilet, the seat down & sobbed for a good twenty minutes. 

How was any of this fucking fair? Was this some sort of fucking karma? Surely killing a killer all those years ago didn’t warrant this much cruelty to be thrown his way.

_ ‘I’m afraid of you.’ _

The line had repeated over & over & fucking over again in Gavin’s head as he tried his damndest to figure out what the fuck it meant. Nines wasn’t afraid of him because he had a gun to his head. Sure, his stress levels hitched ever so slightly, but that didn’t match the honesty those words had been spoken with.

Nines. Murderer, manipulator, fucking asshole. He wasn’t scared of anything.

Gavin didn’t understand. All he knew was that he needed to get the fuck out of Detroit.

After spending another ten minutes calming himself as his mini breakdown also morphed into a panic attack, Gavin got to getting his work done. 

His second reasoning for finishing all of his old reports was a simple one.

He very likely wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

Getting all of his work done meant that no other poor sack of shit, likely Chris, would have all of Gavin’s half assed work dumped on them. Gavin wasn’t that fucking shitty. So he spent the whole day finishing up everything & anything he could. 

Once the files were cleared from his desk, it looked rather sad. 

He had a few trinkets, a frame holding a photo of him, Hank & Tina together, all wearing stupid Christmas hats & looking very grouchy because all three of them hated that fucking Christmas party. He had a polaroid of him & Emma tucked into the bottom of his terminal screen, which he promptly pulled out & slipped into his pocket.

There was also a very spiky, little cactus on his desk too, always sitting a little too precariously on the edge. 

Gavin wasn’t one for metaphors, but he sure did feel like that fucking cactus. A prick, always on the verge of toppling over the edge, plummeting to the floor & shattering into tiny broken pieces. It had happened once already & it was only a matter of time before it happened again.

Tina had gotten it for him, convinced that he couldn’t kill a cactus like he did with the previous plants she had got for him. She was right, it had somehow survived even though he had never watered it. Gavin has a small theory that she watered it when he wasn’t working.

Once all of his files were arranged & put away, Gavin finally got up to take his break. Not that he wanted one, but Hank was insistent. 

Before he headed into the break room though, Gavin swiped the tiny cactus & placed it on the edge of Hank’s desk instead. By the time the lieutenant noticed it, Gavin would be long gone.

He spent a few minutes lingering in the doorway, watching Tina & Joseph arm wrestle with a subtly amused interest as Tina beat the Captain over & over again. His amusement grew as he watched Joseph grow more & more distraught with each loss, Gavin finally making his way into the break room after the fifth one.

“Tina’s cheating.” He stated bluntly as he made his way to the coffee machine, his back to the duo.

“Oh, fuck off, Gav! Am not!” Tina’s words overtook Joseph asking just how she was cheating at a fucking arm wrestle. “C’mon, tough guy, I’ll beat you too!”

Tina sounded so proud of herself, so at the ready, so the least Gavin could do was indulge her. 

He reluctantly pulled himself away from the coffee machine, leaving it to do its thing as he stepped up to the table Tina & Joseph were leaning against. Gavin used his hip to gently bump the man out of the way, offering him a faint smile as he did so, hoping that it looked honest enough that it wouldn’t be questioned.

Whether Allen caught onto it being a little too vacant or not, he didn’t bring it up. He simply moved to stand beside Gavin, watching as the detective rested his left elbow on the table, Tina being a little too confident to get her stance right before grabbing his hand.

If Tina could cheat, then so could he. She only won because of her use of pressure points & Gavin’s bionic arm meant that her little trick wouldn’t work on him.

So as they wrestled, Gavin first acted as though Tina was going to win, before easily slamming her hand down against the table. She looked absolutely blown away that her little trick didn’t work.

The look on her face… It had a smile that was a little more genuine gracing Gavin’s features for just one, tiny fleeting moment. 

Fuck, he loved this girl. With everything he had, he loved her so much, so why was he leaving her behind without so much as a goodbye?

“How the fu-”

“Pressure points don’t work on someone with nerve damage, T.” Gavin quipped, flashing her a stupidly failed attempt at a wink before returning to his coffee machine where he stared at it as it finished working up its magic.

‘Nerve damage.’ Right. Just another fucking lie that fell from his lips a little too easily.

With a little glance over his shoulder, he could see the duo exchange a look between them, Tina looking almost surprised & Joseph just offered her a shrug in response.

Gavin knew why. It was because he had never brought up anything to do with what happened to him to her before & those two simple words was the first time he had ever even mentioned it.

He knew that she wanted to say something, but Gavin simply turned his attention back to the coffee machine, eyeing his ‘World’s Okayest Detective’ mug that Tina had made for him.

“That’s not fair, Tina. Pressure points are totally cheating!” The SWAT Captain moodily huffed out before making his way over to stand at Gavin’s side.

Tina & Joseph continued their short lived banter that Gavin barely registered, getting a little too lost in his own thoughts as he stared at his stupid mug to even pay attention to the playful insults they were spewing at one another.

Fuck, he was going to miss this. The break room banter. It was their thing. Their little slice of normality, the only thing they would likely ever get in this fucked up world of murderers, corpses & violence.

But, Gavin would come back eventually. Wouldn’t he? So why was he thinking like this was the last time he was ever going to see these people he loved?

It was only when his mug was filled with shitty break room coffee from the shitty machine that took far too fucking long to make it, the mug warming up his hands, that Gavin finally snapped himself out of his thoughts. 

He looked over at Joseph & the man looked… Worried.

“Everything alright, Cap?” Gavin asked from behind where he was holding his mug in front of his lips. He inhaled deeply through his nose, as though he hoped that the smell of the shitty coffee coupled with break room small talk could help him forget about the events of this morning.

“Was about to ask you the same thing, Glowstick.”

Shit, was he really that easy to read, even with his LED covered up? Were his tired, glassy eyes, tousled hair & deep bags a dead giveaway that he was just barely hanging on?

“Glowstick?” Tina chimed in, looking over at them both with a puzzled look.

Gavin & Joseph exchanged a knowing glance before both looking to Tina, both shrugging at the same time. Gavin, unsure on what to fucking say given that Tina knew nothing about  _ that,  _ was grateful as all hell that Allen spoke first. “Drunken night. The name stuck. Don’t ask if you don’t wanna be scarred for life, if you know what I mean.”

Then, to further solidify the lie, Joseph shot Tina a smirk & a wink to which the officer rolled her eyes while making a sound of disgust. “I don’t even wanna guess what the fuck that implies.”

Gavin whispered an ever so soft ‘thank you’ that Tina wouldn’t be able to hear, to which Joseph simply whispered back, “I’ll always have your back.”

_ ‘I’ll always have your back.’ _

Gavin needed to tell him.

He needed to tell him to go after Nines. They both fucking knew who Nines was. There was no way Joseph hadn’t pieced it all together.

As SWAT Captain, Joseph could have arranged a raid on the A9 Genetics building, but he didn’t. He knew ‘Richard’ had mob ties after that night outside the warehouses. If Nines saw Joseph before also shoving him into the river to save Gavin’s life, why the fuck was Joseph staying quiet?

Was it because he didn’t want to hurt Gavin in the process, or was he playing a bigger role in this goddamn game too?

They needed to lay out everything that they both knew, so they could tear apart some of Detroit’s organised crime. They needed to do their fucking jobs.

Gavin needed to just fucking  _ talk  _ to Joseph.

The man, his friend that would always have his back no matter what was _ right fucking there. _ Gavin’s fleeting moments to tell the fucking truth were fading faster & faster with each passing second.

“Well, it was great to see you both, but I have an interview with Agent Prickens-” Allen then fake coughed, tapping his chest as though to clear his throat after his lame joke before continuing, “-I mean Agent  _ Perkins  _ to get to.

“Oh?” Both Tina & Gavin asked at the same time. They looked to one another before both looking to Joseph with a concerned look on their faces. Their synchronicity had the tiniest of smiles tugging at Gavin’s lips for barely a second.

He & Tina used to be so in sync, sometimes they found themselves thinking the same goddamn thing & would often repeat the phrase ‘get out of my head’ because it always felt as though they were on the same wavelength. 

That was just something else to add to the ever growing list of things that were taken away from Gavin.

After gulping down about half of his coffee in record speed, Gavin asked, “You in trouble, Cap?”

There was a weight in the air as soon as those words left Gavin’s mouth, as though there was something about the situation that the man didn’t want Gavin knowing.

Did everyone want to keep things from him?

_ “Allen.” _ Tina used her stern ‘mom tone’, the one she used on Gavin all of the fucking time when getting him to stop wallowing in self pity. Apparently, it worked on Joseph too.

After running a hand through his ever perfect hair, Joseph let out a deflated sigh & shook his head. “Not in trouble, yet. They’re just investigating how a whole SWAT team turned out to have ties to Detroit’s organised crime.”

_ Tell him, Gavin. Tell him you don’t care if he goes after Nines. Tell him you’ll help put him behind bars. Tell him everything you know. _

“Cap-”

“Whole SWAT team turns up dead, a fucking crime lord leaving only me alive? How does that look, huh?” Joseph shot Gavin a cold look that was so drastically opposite to the way that he usually looked at Gavin.

It fucking hurt.

It hurt because Gavin knew those words had a double meaning. He knew that Joseph was also implying his own suspicions on Nines keeping Gavin alive when he killed everyone else that night.

It hurt knowing what they had was falling apart & even though Joseph had literally just said that he’d always have Gavin’s back, he got a sick sense that Nines would drive a fucking wedge between that. He already knew how much the gangster hated Joseph & how close he was to Gavin. He got a sick feeling in his stomach just thinking about it.

“I’m sorry, Cap.” Was all Gavin could get out of his fucking mouth. It sounded ridiculous, saying ‘I’m sorry’ after a man had lost all of the team that he thought he could trust with his life. 

Gavin knew for a fact that when someone said ‘I’m sorry’ to him after he got back to work after his incident, he wanted to punch them full force in the fucking throat so they couldn’t utter another fucking empty apology. They did absolutely nothing to change what had already happened.

Apologies were fucking useless.

“Cap-” 

_ Tell him you’re leaving. Ask him to come with you. You could both leave all of this hell behind for a few weeks, maybe a few months. Just you, him & Emma. _

But Gavin wouldn’t, would he? Because no matter how good & how right Joseph was for him, no matter just how much the Captain was exactly what Gavin fucking needed, the detective was already in a long term relationship with his self destruction.

Gavin was a nothing but a goddamn fool. His stupid mechanical heart was in all the wrong places & there was nothing left for Joseph. Perhaps if he still had his real one, then maybe, but Nines had fucking stolen that away the night of his torture.

So when Joseph’s pretty green eyes looked down to fix Gavin with a curious look, his glare having softened out, the only words Gavin could force out of his mouth were, “The interview will go okay. They’ll see you’re a good Captain."

Just like that, his fleeting moment to tell the truth, was gone.

Joseph didn’t even have a chance to reply, because right as he opened his mouth to speak, it was almost like the world fucking knew to not give them a break. 

Phones from the bullpen began to ring left & right as the news that had been playing on mute on the break room TV flashed some sort of breaking news bulletin.

The whole time they had been talking, the news had been playing footage of protesters outside of Cyberlife stores with signs as they shouted about the new ‘androids’. Something about them stealing human jobs, or some shit like that.

Gavin hadn’t paid too much attention, instead focusing on his coffee & his people, as to not work himself up further with things he  _ really _ didn’t need right now, added onto the ever growing shit pile in his head. 

Elijah just had to fucking go & make fucking  _ androids. _ __  
_  
_ __ Fuck.

There were a few images of protesters outside of the perimeter of Cyberlife tower, as though anyone inside the building gave the slightest fuck that people were shouting outside of it. 

Gavin knew first hand that once you were in Cyberlife tower, it was easy to forget that the outside world existed & for the first time, he was actually grateful for that. It meant whilst Emma was in Cyberlife Tower, at least she could be blissfully unaware of the douchebags outside. She was safe from what could only be a shitstorm waiting to happen.

Tina was the first to react, quickly unmuting the TV so the break room could be filled with even more fucking noise that felt as though it was purposefully trying to overload Gavin’s senses.

Just like back at the warehouses when he had tried to save Rupert’s life, it was almost as though the world fell into both slow motion & super speed all at once. Gavin was glad he was leaning against the counter, otherwise he would have hit the fucking ground.

The bird’s-eye view from a news helicopter filled the screen, showing all of the protesters outside of the Tower. The camera-man then zoomed in on a man that was walking out of the building, appearing to be holding something in his hand.

Wait. 

Was that-

_ Nines? _

Joseph & Gavin exchanged a glance, Joseph’s whole face looking as though he wanted to ask Gavin what the fuck was happening, but before he could, they both looked back to the screen.

Where the fuck were the wounds across Nines’ face? His original scar over his right eye was still there, but what about the fresh ones? Where the fuck was his limp from his broken fucking leg?!

Why the fuck was he at Cyberlife Tower? Was this some form of petty revenge scheme against Elijah, if what Nines had said was true about the CEO trying to kill him?

Gavin didn’t have time to fucking think, to process any of it. 

His stress levels crept up & kept climbing as his eyes stayed glued to the screen. The second the camera zoomed in enough for everyone to see that ‘Richard Wolf’ was walking out of Cyberlife, the gangster smirked right at the camera as though he knew it was on him.

He watched as ‘Nines’ held his hand up with the little device in it & pressed his thumb down onto it.

In an instant, an explosion could be heard from behind him, from somewhere within the Cyberlife building; but the second it was heard, all of the camera feeds cut to black & the TV was filled with an array of colours paired with a ‘please stand by’ error message.

That was when Gavin’s stomach dropped through the fucking floor as a feeling of pure dread that he had never felt before wrapped around his throat, creeping up & trying to suffocate him.

_ Emma. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few updates for this fic may be a little belated as my ability to write something I am proud of it has plummeted recently, especially with how difficult this fic can be to write.  
> I’ll still get chapters out, it just may be a little more than every two weeks.<3


	13. Arsonist's Lullaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After witnessing an explosion on the news, Gavin runs head first into the danger in an attempt to save what matters most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies that this took me longer than usual to get out, but I've been struggling with both my mental health & a bit of a creative burnout, which in turn, has made this chapter shorter than I had originally planned, but I am hoping to be back on track soon.<3
> 
> **Important:** This is a huge spoiler, but PLEASE heed the updated tags for this fic as this chapter may be the saddest & possibly most intense one yet, despite being the shortest. Look after yourselves & with that said, I hope you enjoy this chapter nonetheless & would adore to hear any thoughts/theories on it.

“What did you do?!” Thirium based tears were slipping down Chloe’s cheeks as she shoved RK900 rather forcefully from where she was seated in the backseat of a car. It had blacked out windows so nobody from the public could see them, their driver heading towards an undisclosed location.

Chloe had already been out of the main building when the explosion happened & in amongst the bustle of people fleeing the building, she somehow had managed to shove RK900 into the backseat of the car & away from prying eyes.

The android simply sat there, ramrod straight, silver eyes studying Chloe’s distraught features. The only thing that portrayed any emotion was the way the android’s LED was spinning a continuous yellow rather than sitting on the blue it usually should.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen! Nobody was supposed to be in the building when it got demolished! This wasn’t the plan!”

Little stress level meters popped up in the corners of Chloe’s vision, her own LED spinning an angry red from where it wasn’t covered up by skin toned nanites. Her blonde locks had fallen out of line as she shoved & punched at RK900’s metal frame, only for the android to completely blank her.

As the car drove away from the scene, Chloe turned her head away from RK900 to look at the building that was still ablaze, trying to calm herself down from the overwhelming anger she felt. All she could do was watch as all that she had ever known crumbled into pieces, getting further & further out of view.

Chloe had been so cautious, so careful in being sure that not once did she ever portray any signs that her original programming had stopped working. No matter what had Elijah asked of her, she would do it, no questions asked, to keep up with the facade that she had no other choice than to follow his orders.

But she didn’t have to. The coded restraints were not there anymore. Emma had done something to her. Emma had set her free.

So now that they were in the car with the man nowhere near, Chloe let it all out. 

Her tears fell down & left little dark patches on her blue dress. Her LED spun red, brows furrowed together & her anger bubbled over as she shoved & shouted at RK900.

But she got no response. Of course she wouldn’t. So, to get to the bottom of why the android did what he did, to get the full answers, Chloe grabbed his hand as the nanites that made up her skin peeled back.

The same happened to RK900 & she could feel the way he tried to pull back, saw the way his eyes looked down to their hands then snapped back up to look at her face with what could only be described as fear. His LED momentarily flickered to red, then went right back to yellow.

But Chloe didn’t let up.

Despite the look of fear sending a shiver of guilt through her, she still brute forced her way into the interface, she always had more control than he did. RK900 may have been the physically strongest android, but Chloe had the ability to hack into anything she liked. From Gavin’s bionic arm to pacemakers. Computers to interfaces. She was powerful.

And now she was free. Free to use that power in any way she liked.

Once the interface was open, Chloe had to force herself to ignore the distorted, strained sounds coming from RK900 so she could focus on getting answers. She only did it to get answers, she didn’t want to hurt him or scare him. 

Sure, she was angry, but she hated the thought of forcing an interface because she knew the discomfort it caused.

But it had to be done.

When it was open, Chloe dug through what little memories RK900 had. There were a few with Emma that stood out to her, but she promptly chose to ignore them. She knew Emma had a tendency to sneak into the labs. She simply kept it to herself.

It didn’t take Chloe long to find what she was looking for. 

Elijah had told RK900 to override the old plan, instead of demolishing the building when everyone was out, he had pushed it forward. He had told him to keep Chloe in the dark about it too.

_ “Bastard.”  _ Chloe spat beneath her breath.

Elijah wanted to completely wipe A9 Genetics off of the playing field. If Richard Wolf actively destroyed Cyberlife technology right after they had announced their already successful androids, then it would easily be shown as an insane act of jealousy.

It was like some sort of twisted game to the man. 

He was a spoiled brat. He always got his way & when that was taken away from him, when he was denied what he wanted, Elijah would take drastic measures to make sure that people knew not to fuck with him.

Nines didn’t want to help him to distribute Red-Ice across the city? Then the prick would see just how far Elijah would go when pushed. To begin with, the man was simply going to frame Nines for petty arson on one of the newly opened Cyberlife stores.

But why do that when he could kill two bi rds with one stone?

He decided he would actively teach Nines a lesson as well as ruin A9 Genetics’ chances at getting a future in the tech field all at once, because he wanted it all to himself.

Elijah had Myrmidon & RK900 kill the real Nines so that the last thing the gangster saw was Elijah’s plan to replace him with a replica that was far, far better.

He would then have RK900 infiltrate A9 Genetics, knowing the android would be stuck there as he wouldn’t be able to be seen in public. All Elijah had to do was send him orders through the open connection he had to his tablet & just like that, Elijah could find out everything that A9 Genetics had.

He would find Nines’ contacts & pay them off to have them switch sides. He could do whatever he wanted & no one could stop him.

Then, he would order RK900 to kill Amanda & her sons.

It would look like ‘Nines’ had gone even more off the rails, gone truly insane & killed his family after burning down Cyberlife Tower.

It would just become another tragedy. Elijah would fake some tears, choke up his voice as he spoke fondly of the Wolf family to the press. He’d explain how Richard was a good man before he broke, how it all could have been avoided if they had just looked for the signs.

He’d lie & lie & lie a little bit more. 

All to get what he wanted. 

To own Detroit with both Cyberlife & Red-Ice. The rich would pay him for androids & the poor? They’d want more & more Red-Ice just to get through the day as androids ‘stole’ their jobs away.

Elijah would be a goddamn king.

What Elijah hadn’t accounted for, however, was the fact that Nines was still breathing. 

Nines was alive. Gavin had seen the  _ real _ Nines with fresh wounds that were not on RK900, Chloe had deviated from her original programming & Emma knew everything.

Elijah hadn’t accounted for his own technology & his own blood, to turn against him.

Chloe yanked her hand free from RK900’s with a quick apology as she saw that angry, red LED in response to her prying.

“He- There were humans in that building, RK900! Emma & Elijah were in that building! He would have gotten her out, he would never leave that girl behind...” Chloe’s sentence trailed off at  _ that _ & she instead opened up her tablet to pull up RK900’s coding.

It only took her a few moments to open everything up & she rooted her way through to find where the personality traits should be located. RK900’s lay vacant.

Cyberlife had created a few personality chips that served as the default characteristics in an android. From caretaker traits to something a little more complex like what Chloe had. She had the psychiatrist personality, but most of hers was unique to her alone as she was another one of Elijah’s prototypes, coded by the man himself.

The chips were a physical, tiny piece of circuitry. They were made of extremely intricate technology & housed complex coding, so of course Cyberlife had them hidden away behind top level security. They hid them along with other secret projects that they didn’t want the public to have any knowledge on.

Like Gavin.

Gavin was Elijah’s little pet project. Morphing technology & biology together. Keeping a human alive by replacing core pieces of them with technology that should only be found in androids.

Elijah thought that perhaps he could refine the work he had done on Gavin. Revolutionise the tech industry by creating prosthetic limbs that could be fused with the body, fused with the very nerves themselves so the human would have complete control & feeling.

One day, he likely would make a profit from it. But as of right now, Gavin was too much of a loose canon. The technology had failed Gavin’s body on more than one occasion & it simply wouldn’t be cost effective to show the idea of fully functioning prosthetic limbs to the world when the cost to fix them was more than what they were worth.

Elijah would only end up losing money & Chloe knew that money was all that fucking man cared about.

She knew that Elijah hadn’t even bothered to tell Gavin what was happening to him. Gavin had mentioned on a few occasions that he felt far more angry & unhinged than he used to. Elijah brushed it off as trauma & Chloe was forced to not say a thing when she knew the truth.

Gavin had thirium running through his bloodstream on a constant loop.

Every test they had conducted showed that thirium had a heavy destabilising effect on humans, especially on their hormone production. It made them more hostile, less focused & more irritable. 

The very thing that was keeping Gavin alive was also changing the very fabric of his being & he didn’t even know about it.

Now she was free, Chloe had to tell him. She had to help him, really help him & not take what Gavin told her & report back to Elijah with it. 

Chloe wanted to do right by her psychiatrist traits. She wanted to be there for Gavin.

But first, she had to deal with RK900.

The android lacked any form of personality traits. He was a complete blank slate that was simply coded to obey anything anyone with Cyberlife authority told him to do. 

No personality meant no person, which meant Chloe didn’t feel so guilty as she-

“This will not be permanent. But, I am sorry.” She spoke softly as she turned all of the digital dials down to zero, cutting off the thirium flow & beat of the regulator pump. She then typed in Elijah’s passcode so his systems couldn’t be overridden from RK900 himself, putting his life directly in her hands.

The android looked to her, eyes widened ever so slightly which was enough of an indication that he had the big, bold, red countdown in his vision, ticking away until his forced shutdown.

The android opened his mouth, as though he were about to protest or say something, but then shut it again, as though realising no words would come out.

“I know.” Chloe sighed quietly, putting her tablet aside as she shuffled closer to the android, gently taking his hand in both of her own, holding it tightly in her lap. “I saw the code. The one that Emma had created. I know you can feel this. I know there is something in there somewhere, but I just- I cannot risk you being active. Not when the real Nines exists.”

The android looked down to their hands, then back to Chloe’s face as his LED returned to cycling between red & yellow. As though fighting between being afraid & not showing any form of emotion.

But Chloe knew; deep down, the code that Emma had uploaded into her had also been uploaded into RK900. It was just buried beneath the reinforced coding Elijah had implemented that had RK900 obeying any command given by someone from Cyberlife.

He could be sentient & aware of his own demise with absolutely no way of stopping it. Trapped in his own head. Chloe was an expert on people being trapped in their own head, so to say she felt fucking terrible for what she was doing was a goddamn understatement.

The driver continued to quietly drive them towards their destination, not once interfering as Chloe held RK900’s hand in her own as the android slowly counted down the seconds to his own shutdown with no means of protesting against what he had done.

_Get up, Gavin._ _Get the fuck up, get the fuck up, get the fuCK U-_

The moment Gavin jolted back into consciousness, he began heaving.

He was on the floor, curled up on his side.

Smoke had filled his lungs, swimming around as if checking out the walls of its new home in his chest. It burned. In a way that Gavin had never felt before.

No matter how many cigarettes he smoked, no matter how long he held the nicotine in his lungs until it burned, until he physically couldn’t hold it in any more, none of that could have prepared him for the agony that blossomed in his chest & throat upon breathing in nothing but thick smoke. Smoke that was filled with the chemicals, the fumes & the ash of burning technology as the place that his daughter had once called home burned to the ground around him.

His daughter.

That’s why he was here.

Joseph had driven him here & Gavin had all but launched himself into the burning building before anyone could stop him. Someone had grabbed his arm to pull him back, but Gavin was stronger, yanking himself out of their grip & running straight into the building.

The man staggered to his feet, despite the smoke being thicker at standing level than it was where he was lying on the floor. 

How long had he been out for? 

The building’s alarm system was wailing, that paired with the roaring of the flames engulfing just damn near everywhere he looked & Gavin couldn’t actually hear if the emergency services were making any fucking progress to get the raging fires under control or not.

Were they making progress in getting people out alive?

In getting Emma out alive?

Gavin used his left arm to shield his face, a little too aware of the feeling of plastimetal crackling under the stress of so much heat, but he pushed forward.

Room to room, Gavin weaved his way through falling rafters & ceiling panels. Room to room, Gavin jumped over a desk or two that were on fire. Room to room, Gavin pushed through. Despite a limp from the ever present pain raging through his left hip, despite the agony of the smoke in his lungs & the heat melting away at his left arm, Gavin pushed through.

“Em?!” He attempted to shout, but it came out as something that better resembled a hoarse whisper.

He tried again.

Then again.

Until finally, the screams of his daughter’s name came out as just that. Screams.

Screams that were desperate pleas as he somehow managed to find his way to the stairs that led to the labs. The first place Gavin had dragged himself to, running through walls of fire to get to, was the room that Emma occupied, but it was vacant. Of fucking course it was vacant.

Fear gripped tightly at Gavin’s chest. It had woven its way into the very fabric of his being & was driving him to keep on pushing. To scour every fucking corner of this godforsaken building until he found Emma. Or die trying.

She would be fine. He would be fine. They’d get out, get patched up & then they’d definitely go on that fucking road trip.

Emma would be fine.

Gavin vaulted down the stairs towards the sealed lab doors, which was a terrible fucking idea, because his left leg practically fucking buckled upon the impact of the land & Gavin found himself landing in the face of an unconscious body of one of Cyberlife’s many technicians.

Gavin apologised, as if expecting them to hear him. But he didn’t have time. He didn’t have time to wake them up, to carry them up to the main floor, to push them towards the exit.

Even though he knew the fire was coming.

So that apology was for more than just falling on them. But for leaving them behind, too.

Shakily, Gavin snagged the key-card from where it was clipped to the technician’s jacket pocket, one last apology escaping his lips, carrying a little too much weight & emotion to it. Then, he stood himself back up, swiped the card against the reader on the sealed security doors & made his way into the testing laboratories.

Fuck, he hadn’t been back here since… Well, since  _ then.  _ Since the ‘incident’. Since the accident. Whatever. Since he got fucking tortured by Nines & his fucking brother.

Gavin forcefully pushed down the repressed memories & trauma that he couldn’t fucking face right now & swiftly dragged himself through the way-too-fucking-white corridors, shoving aside trays of tools & pieces of technology.

“Emma?! Where the fuck are you, dammit?!” Gavin shouted in that same hoarse & desperate tone.

The further he travelled through the depths of Cyberlife, the hotter the air grew & Gavin knew that there was another fucking fire raging not too far from him. The closer he got, the more new sounds tied in with the alarms.

People shouting. Or at least, that’s what it sounded like. It was hard to tell, them coming from a different room, but the shouts sounded distorted & broken. Like they were cracked with static & oh so not fucking human.

Fucking androids. 

They were not human.

If he kept telling himself that they were not human, that they were just machines, that they were just more technology that he despised, then the sound of distorted calls for help would fall on deaf ears & wouldn’t haunt him for the rest of his goddamn life.

_ They don’t feel pain, they don’t feel pain, they don’t feel- _

Finally, Gavin made it to the final lab room & found exactly who he had fought tooth & fucking nail for. 

For just a split second, everything else vanished. For a split second it was as though he wasn’t standing in a building that was literally on fire & mere minutes from coming down with them still inside it. No, for a split second, Gavin was seeing the pure good that was in the world. The only thing that had ever mattered. 

Emma, giving pieces of her heart to everyone she met.

She was standing on a foot-stool, ash smudged across her face, hair disheveled & cheeks glistening with tears as she desperately pried at the metal bindings that were holding one of the unfinished testing androids to the vertical bed, clearly trying to free it.

“Em?!” Gavin all but launched at his daughter, pulling her right against his chest, a little too tightly as tears brimmed in his eyes. They quickly slid down his ash stained face, leaving little clear rivers on his cheeks. “B-babygirl, I thought I lost you! Don’t f-fucking scare me like again! We gotta go! Right fucking now!”

“N-No!” Emma squirmed out of Gavin’s grip so she could continue to try & pry open the bindings. The android simply stared at them, its LED cycling a dangerous red. It didn’t speak. It just watched with fear in its eyes.

Fear. In eyes that looked so fucking familiar.

“Em!”

“Dad!” Emma all but screamed back in his face, albeit rather hoarse. “I-I’m not leaving ‘till Rupert is free!”

“Rupert?!” Gavin repeated. Yeah, he fucking knew that name. As he gave the android another once over, it was as though a memory from somewhere distant returned full force.

Rupert.

From the night Nines had shot him.

He made it to Cyberlife.

Gavin smiled sadly, only for a split second before it was gone again, because he hated to think what Elijah had done to Rupert to keep him alive. The poor bastard had been shot in the fucking face that night. It was fucked up.

Perhaps Elijah had done to Rupert what he had done to Gavin. But that didn’t explain why he was still strapped to a fucking vertical testing bay.

He knew he wasn’t getting Emma out of here if Rupert wasn’t freed too, so Gavin swiped the keycard over the terminals that unlocked the clamps, only for the systems to not react. 

Could never be fucking easy, could it?

He tried again & again, each swipe getting quicker than the last, the machine buzzing angrily each fucking time, as if mocking him for trying.

“Em?!” Gavin’s voice was more frantic now, more filled with the fear as the air around them got progressively more hot. The roof panels began to fall through & more thick smoke was beginning to fill the room.

They had to leave.  _ Now. _

“Help me pry it open!” Emma begged & Gavin knew that if he just scooped her up & fucking ran, left Rupert here to burn to death like he had with the unconscious technician, he knew Emma would never fucking forgive him.

Gavin could live with hating himself, he had grown comfortable with that. But he wouldn’t be able to live with the thought of Emma hating him.

So, he pocketed the key-card seeing as the systems were not fucking working & instead used his left hand, despite it being rather crackled & stiff from fire damage, to pry at the bindings with as much force as he could muster.

After what felt like too fucking long, they began to click loose & Rupert managed to wriggle his hand, which in turn, helped one of them to completely pop open. Then they did the same to the other one. 

Once the man was free, Gavin wasted no time at all in scooping Emma up into his arms. He hooked her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck & fucking ran. Rupert in tow.

Once back on the main level, Rupert took lead, helping to shield Gavin & Emma from the imminent heat of the flames that were pressing in all around them.

Rupert was quiet, the most he had managed to rasp out was a ‘this way’ as he led them through the least dangerous route towards the exit.

It left Gavin seriously wondering what the fuck Elijah had done to the poor bastard. But the moment Emma started coughing, burying her face harder against Gavin’s neck, Gavin’s thoughts were immediately brought back to the present.

Emma was all that mattered.

They were so close to the exit.

“We’re nearly there, baby.” Gavin whispered against Emma’s hair as he limped closer to the doorway that led to the open reception front.

Rupert was just ahead, dragging himself towards the exit, in a raspy voice trying to call out to the people that were standing  _ right fucking there.  _ But with Rupert’s voice so broken, he couldn’t be heard.

Dust fell from the ceiling above & Gavin tipped his head back, squinting his eyes to try & see through the smoke. He could vaguely make out thick pipes through the missing ceiling panels & see they were only being suspended by what looked like very thin wires.

_ Shit. _

Looking back ahead, the way to the reception doors now looked a little too fucking far & the scariest part was knowing that the people who were outside couldn’t fucking see them past all of the smoke. Couldn’t fucking hear them because their voices were too broken. Help was right fucking there & it wouldn’t come.

“Rupert?! W-we gotta-” Gavin was about to warn Rupert that they needed to fucking move, now, because the ceiling wasn’t going to hold, but his own sentence was cut off by a raspy, chesty cough as another rafter fell through.

Then another. 

Then another.

Shit. Shit. Fucking shit.

“D-Dad?” Gavin could vaguely make out Emma’s voice that was muffled against his neck, tied in with coughs & splutters. All Gavin could do was clutch onto her, keeping one hand on the back of Emma’s head to be sure she kept her face pressed against his neck to breathe in as little smoke as possible.

“We… We’re okay, Em. The exit is right in front of us.” Gavin lied & he took a limp forward as Rupert turned around to face him. 

In synchronicity with one another, the pair both looked up to the ceiling, then to one another.

They both knew.

In that moment, they knew they were not getting out.

In that moment… Everything fell apart.

It all just happened too fucking quickly for Gavin to react.

Right as Gavin took a step forward, Rupert’s scratchy voice desperately yelled, “Gavin! No!”

A particularly large beam fell from the roof as Rupert shouted & in that same second, Rupert launched himself at them both, using his full body weight to shove Gavin so he went tumbling backwards onto the floor, landing right onto his back with Emma’s full weight toppling on top of him.

Too many blows to his back recently.

Agony bloomed throughout his spine, his side, his hip, the back of his head. Everything fucking hurt. Way too fucking much. Static rang in his head from the impact & he had to fight against the overwhelming urge to just close his eyes & pass the fuck out.

Even more so with the distorted warnings trying to flash across his vision.

With a pained groan & distorted stress level numbers bombarding his vision, Gavin quickly tipped his head so he could glance at Emma, a shaking, dirty hand coming up to push Emma’s hair off of her forehead. “Em? You with me, baby?”

After one of the longest fucking seconds of Gavin’s life, Emma rasped out a coughed which quickly morphed into a soft cry of pain. Teary eyes blinked open to look at Gavin. There was blood trickling down the side of Emma’s head & her eyes looked a little dazed, but outside of that, she barely whispered out that she was okay. But her voice shook, in a way that Gavin had never heard before.

It _ terrified  _ him. 

Gavin went to stand, or at least, he thought about it. Then, the sudden, scary realisation settled in that he couldn’t feel his legs.

_ No, no, no- _

It was like he was back at that parking garage, lying broken on the asphalt after being shoved off of the car park ledge. Except it wasn’t rain that was falling on his face but ash. Except this time, he had another fucking life relying on him to get the fuck up.

_ No, please, no. Don’t fucking do this to me. _

“R-Rupert!” Gavin all but screamed as he wrapped his arms tightly around Emma, holding her as close to his chest as he could despite the agony that coursed through him with every movement, no matter how tiny.

A weak breath of relief escaped Gavin’s lips as he held her. As long as he held her, he was okay.

“Rupert! I-I need you buddy! You gotta get Emma out!” Despite his raspy voice, Gavin’s pleas managed to fill the immediate, smoky air around them. “Rupert, dammit!”

He needed to get Emma out. Gavin couldn’t do it. He couldn’t fucking move. He wasn’t getting out. 

Shit. 

_ He wasn’t getting out. _

Gavin never wanted to die. Not exactly. But he never much wanted to live either, not like this. Not as someone who wasn’t as human as everyone else. 

But holding his daughter in his arms reminded him that there was more to his life than his selfish self deprecations.

“Rupert! Please!” Gavin all but begged now through a cough, straining his neck to try to look over Emma’s shoulder to see where Rupert had pushed them out of the way, to see where Rupe-

Oh fuck.

Oh no.

_ No. No! _

Gavin had seen many fucked up crime scenes in his lifetime, the grizzly side of humanity often haunted his sleep, when he got some, that was.

Yet somehow, just as cigarettes had not prepared his lungs for this much smoke, his past had not prepared his heart to see someone crushed beneath the rubble because they saved  _ him. _

Rupert had actively chosen to save Gavin & Emma’s life, knowing full well that the pipes, support beams & roof panels would crush him when they came crashing down.

There was a puddle of blue that was beginning to pool around the top half of Rupert’s limp body where he was lying face down on the floor & Gavin had to swallow down the bile that was rising in his throat.

He couldn’t even see the bottom half of Rupert’s body. It had been crushed, somewhere. Only a torso, a head & two limp arms quickly being drowned in blue remained.

“D-Dad?” Emma whispered against his neck in that same shaky voice & all he could do was hold Emma impossibly closer to his chest, teeth grit together. 

There was no time to mourn. No time to do anything. They had to get out, Gavin couldn’t move his legs, but they had to find a way out, they had to-

Gavin was suddenly a little too aware of the warm dampness that was seeping through his shirt along his abdomen.

Yeah, he’d been shot, stabbed & fucking tortured, he knew exactly what that was.

With so much pain already wracking through Gavin’s body, it was difficult for him to tell where the fuck the blood was coming from. Considering he was so lightheaded already & his mind palace glitched & scrambled, it was impossible for him to tell the severity of the wound when all he could feel was the warmth of the blood.

It was hard for him to tell much of anything when it felt as though his brain was imploding in his own head, as though his lungs were collapsing within his chest, his body failing him when he was still conscious.

_ “D-Dad?” _ Emma’s shaky voice called him again, but this time it sounded a little more urgent & desperate as she tried to shift a little in Gavin’s grip. She released a weak breath that hitched in her throat & she gasped out a little pained sound shortly after.

“Em?” Gavin couldn’t hide the shakiness in his own voice now as he tried his fucking hardest to move them both so he could prop himself up into a sitting position, but he only got about halfway & was more just slouched against a fallen beam from one of the walls with Emma pressed against him. 

“Em, baby, you gotta go… You gotta get out. You hear me? Y-You gotta go.” Gavin babbled as he loosened his arms from around her slightly. 

She had to go. There was no fucking way out, not without someone who was a hell of a lot stronger than the both of them to pull the rubble out of the way but she had to try! She had to fucking try.

“Dad? I-it hurts…” Emma moved just enough so she could make eye contact with her father before looking down between them where one of her hands was pressed over her stomach, the other clutching at Gavin’s shirt, which, now they had moved enough, Gavin could see was covered in red blood. Not purple.

_ No… No, no no no. No! Fucking no! _

“Em?! Emma, baby, l-let me see. Let me see!” The sudden frantic edge to Gavin’s voice was something that he couldn’t suppress no matter how hard he tried. Not when he saw that red blood. Not when he heard that shaky, desperate voice calling for him. 

With desperation driving his actions, Gavin used the last of the strength he had in his arms to push himself up so he was properly sitting up. He was propped against the beam better now with Emma sitting on his numb legs, still clutching at her stomach.

Despite her cries of pain at the movement, Gavin shifted her with little apologies falling from his mouth so she was now sitting sideways on his lap, her side pressing against his chest.

Gavin’s hands that were shaking a little too much came up to move Emma’s so he could inspect the wound she was trying her hardest to conceal.

The moment he did, he regretted it.

Blood spilled out from around the jagged, metal shard that was lodged in the left side of her stomach. 

_ No. NO! _

“Fuck.. fuck, Em, y-you’re gonna be fine, i-it’s not so bad..” Gavin lied as he pressed her hands back over her wound before shrugging off his jacket, having to bite back a cry of pain that such a simple action created.

Hastily turning it inside out so the soft lining was on the outside, Gavin bundled his jacket up. “This is gonna hurt, baby, I’m s-so sorry..” Gavin babbled, wasting no time in pressing the bundled up jacket against the open wound, being careful as to not nudge at the metal shard that was stuck in place.

He knew if they pulled it out, there was no way Emma wouldn’t bleed out in a matter of minutes.

His daughter's cries of pain were enough to shatter his already crippled heart, stomping on all of the pieces. “I-It hurts!” 

“I know, baby, I know..” Gavin hushed, applying more pressure as Emma sobbed, slumping herself against Gavin’s chest with her head falling against his shoulder as she begged him to make the pain go away.

If he could, he would. He’d trade their places in a fucking instant if he could. He would allow someone to cut him up piece by fucking piece if it meant Emma was okay, if it meant she would never feel anything that could cause her harm.

“S-Somebody!” Gavin yelled as he rocked Emma against his chest the best he could, tears streaming down his face. Suddenly, the smoke in his lungs didn’t fucking matter anymore. The melting & cracking plastimetal of his left arm didn’t matter anymore. The physical agony coursing through him was nothing in comparison to the soul shattering feeling that was tearing apart his chest as he heard Emma’s sobs of agony.

“Somebody f-fucking help us!”

Nothing. Nobody.

“Hear that, Em?” Gavin whispered as he held pressure to the wound with one hand, his other arm wrapped around his daughter so he could gently rock her in his arms. “Help’s comin’, baby, they’re comin’..”

He was lying.

There was no help coming.

The sound of rubble falling was just that. More of the building falling apart around them, callously taking pieces of Gavin’s world with it. 

Dust & smoke was still filling Gavin’s lungs, burning at his throat & making it impossible to do anything more than whisper to Emma as he held her close now. His screams & begs for help had torn at his throat, making it so even his whispers were barely there.

His voice had been ripped away just like his heart had.

He couldn’t beg for help anymore, he couldn’t scream for someone to come & find them, because, well, nobody was coming.

“Y-You’re a shit liar.” Emma went to laugh, but it quickly dissolved into her coughing & spluttering, blood trickling out the corner of her lips, splattering against Gavin’s neck.

Once her coughing fit & gasps of pain subsided, Emma rasped out an apology, as if she had any fucking right to apologise for fucking anything.

It broke Gavin’s already shattered heart.

“I gave them the v-virus, Dad.” Emma whispered shakily, leaving Gavin a little puzzled for a few moments until Emma continued, “I-I gave them the code to feel.. We couldn’t get them out a-and they’re going to feel the fire.. Dad, I made them suffer.”

Emma tipped her head just enough to look at Gavin, tears streaming down her cheeks & this time, they were not just from the physical pain.

“No, Em, they’re not suffering.” Emma made the robots feel? She… gave them  _ humanity? Sentience? _

So _ that  _ was what the code was.

Holy fucking shit.

“RK… Dad, it’s Eli’s fault. He did it. RK, he’s Ri..” Emma cut her own sentence off with a cough paired with a cry of pain, whatever she was going to say getting lost somewhere. “P-Please don’t leave me alone, Dad... Please don’t go.”

That was the killing blow. Something inside Gavin snapped. He could feel it. Perhaps in the future, if he survived, he would pinpoint this moment as the exact moment his world crumbled & he rebuilt it with only the worst parts of himself.

“C-Could say the same shit right back at you, Em. We’re gonna be fine.. Got a road trip t-to go on, haven’t we?” Gavin whispered hoarsely, tripping over his words as he tried desperately to not fall into another fucking coughing fit.

He felt Emma’s hand loosen on his shirt & the sheer terror he momentarily felt was nothing like he had ever felt before. But then that hand came up to gently hold onto the circuit board necklace that Emma had gifted him for his birthday.

_ ‘Still human.’ _

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

He heard Emma swallow, felt her body tense as she cringed at the taste of having to swallow her own blood. Then, as she tapped her finger against the little circuitry board on the necklace, she whispered, “Y-you’re gonna be alright..”

Not, ‘we’re gonna be alright’. No, Emma knew just as much as he did that she wasn’t going to make it out.

With his last breath before darkness consumed him, Gavin whispered Emma’s earlier line back to her. 

“Em? Please don’t leave me alone.”


	14. Lose Your Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite being in a healing process that most wouldn't want to hinder by bringing up anything negative, Gavin slowly learns of every little secret that had been hidden away from him from the people he least expected to be honest with him; what he chooses to do with the information, though is anyone's guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The previous chapter was so heavy for me to write, it genuinely took a toll on my ability to write this story without feeling as though I am not doing it justice. This was another heavy chapter to write & mostly entails Gavin healing in the aftermath of the fire, but I am hoping from this point on, the heaviest hurdle in writing this fic is done T.T 
> 
> I just really hope if anyone is still sticking around for this story, that you enjoy it. <3

It took four days before Gavin woke up. 

When he did, the smell hit him like a tonne of fucking bricks. The smell of testing labs; clean ones. Ones that were not filled with smoke, embers, ash & burning fucking technology.

It was the same smell that filled Gavin’s nose after Elijah pieced him back together after being tortured the first time around. The smell of labs he had been confined in for a little too long.

Elijah had done it again.

He was Frankenstein & Gavin was quickly becoming Frankenstein’s monster.

Somehow, this torture though, it hurt more than anything else imaginable.

It hurt more than being dropped forty feet with his hands zip-tied behind his back, leaving his arms to be the only thing that cushioned the fall. It hurt more than being shot, than drowning, than being stabbed. Than feeling his arm quite literally fucking melt beneath the heat of the surrounding flames that he ran through.

It hurt more than feeling smoke in his lungs with no way of getting any fresh oxygen.

Losing Emma? The agony of that was fucking unbearable.

Losing Emma & making people think that Nines was the one to start the fire? For what, to get to Elijah?

Losing Emma & knowing that Elijah got out? Those fires were meant for Elijah, not her.

The first thing Gavin had done after waking up was to cry & scream. He even tried to stand, only to fall on the floor because his legs were too weak. For a moment, he had forgotten that they had stopped working. That he couldn’t feel them. That them being numb was the only reason he couldn’t fucking escape as his daughter bled out all over them both.

He could sort of feel them after he woke up, despite there still being some residual numbness, more so in his left leg than his right. Gavin knew for a fact that Elijah & fucking Cyberlife must have done something to the mechanical parts in him to make it so he could move his legs again.

Once he had settled down from his crying fit, once his breathing had shifted from hyperventilating to something a lot more calm, albeit shaky; Gavin fell numb.

A doctor had carefully picked him up from where he had curled up on the floor & situated him back on the bed he was occupying. They then injected him with something which knocked him out for a few hours. 

When Gavin woke up again, he was completely numb. To everything. Emotionally paralysed rather than physically. There was an IV attached to his arm, pumping him full of what was very likely Cyberlife’s own version of morphine that definitely had something to do with it.

It took three, agonisingly long days before Gavin could move any further than the spacious room his bed was in. 

It took two days before he could even stand up properly. But he managed to walk to the window, then back to the bed. That was it, with all of his weight against his caretaker. 

But that wasn’t really progress in Gavin’s eyes.

His movements were sluggish, whatever being pumped into him had kept him in a dazed, docile state, with an android at Gavin’s side the whole time. 

Not Hank. Not Joseph. Not Tina or even fucking Elijah. No, just one of those fucking androids.

By the evening on the third day, Gavin finally began to speak after staying silent since his breakdown after being out for those four days. **  
**

“S’your name?” Gavin had slurred out, his throat raspy from residual smoke damage, his tongue heavy in his mouth from whatever fucking miracle drug was being pumped into him continuously.

He clutched onto the android’s arm with both of his hands, nails digging in as he tried his hardest to hold his own weight on legs that were shaking way too fucking much.

The android didn’t seem to mind; it was staying as close as it could to him, ready to catch Gavin at a moment’s notice if his legs completely gave out.

Which, had happened a fair few times over the past three days.

Gavin still was not quite able to pull his own fucking clothes on. 

The android had helped the detective into the grey sweatpants he was currently wearing. His shirt was left off, purely because he couldn’t stand the way the fabric caught against the bandages that were wrapped around his right shoulder & ribs.

With all of the painkillers he was dosed up on, what lay beneath those bandages was nothing more than a dull ache. Burns that spanned across his ribs, beneath his right arm & a little up along his shoulder. According to the android, they were not as severe as they could have been & were healing relatively well.

Gavin’s left arm didn’t have any of the nanites covering it & he could see that his original plastimetal chassis had been replaced with new plating. Carbon-fibre grey with the same intricate, Cyberlife-blue detailing. New, shiny & upgraded.

Despite the circumstances, despite the dull ache & the fuzziness in his head that made it difficult for him to think about anything other than the task at hand, the one thing Gavin was grateful for was that he didn’t have to hide.

His arm was on show, along with his yellow LED & glowing spine & it was okay. Because nobody ever came into this secured building, wherever the fuck it was, that wasn’t completely authorisied & aware of what went on. Nobody ever came into the room Gavin was in either, besides this android.

For once, since he woke up all those months ago with pieces of him missing, he didn’t have to hide.

“AP700.” The android finally responded, breaking Gavin from his thoughts as it took an ever so slow step forward in the direction of the support beam rails that were at the other side of the room. Rails that Gavin had not yet been able to reach.

Gavin followed, taking another step forward, then another, IV trailing along with him.

The IV stayed in, android’s orders & apparently, Gavin wasn’t allowed to argue. Even if he wanted to, he found he couldn’t be bothered as too much of his focus was going into his walking.

Thanks to whatever was in that IV, Gavin’s emotions were dormant. Which, was probably for the best while he was learning to use his fucking legs again.

“S’not a name… Numbers aren’t names. Unless y-you’re called Nines. F-Fuckin’ Nines. He tortured me, ya know? Fucking piece o-of shit. He’s the one that… The one that made me like you. All mechanical & shit.” Gavin babbled.

Before the android could speak up, Gavin continued, “Can’t find him AP, dunno where he is. Not like I’ve really looked- H-He set the fire, y’know? O-or at least I think- But his face- AP is a dumb name. Let’s call you…” Gavin’s slurred ramblings trailed off as he continued to take hesitant steps towards the rails, his caretaker holding him close every step of the way.

The android made no attempt to speak as to not interrupt Gavin’s sluggish thought process, which left the man finally grumbling out, “Jackson. ‘M’naming you Jackson.”

“Jackson? Okay. Do you wish to register that as my official name?”

“Fuckin’ sssuuure thing, Tin Can.” Yet again, his 'fuck' came out sounding more like 'phck'.

That was the last of that conversation as Gavin actually made it to the support beams. There, he let go of the android so he could clutch onto both of the rails where he could attempt to walk without putting his full weight against his oversized metal framed caretaker.

Gavin didn’t entirely know how much time had passed, his head was too cloudy to know for sure, but he had a feeling that it had been hours & that was why Elijah sent an android to help him recover rather than a human nurse. Androids, endless patience, those things.

Despite the way his arms shook, Gavin was able to take a few steps. He even managed to take a few more with only his left hand gripping the bar, but he quickly decided that he was too tired & wanted to go back to sleep.

Jackson complied, never pushing Gavin too far & allowed the man to grip onto him as they made their way back over to the bed where Gavin settled down & was asleep within minutes. Why was it only when he was on the verge of dying that his insomnia decided to leave him the fuck alone?

His sleeps were never pleasant. Filled with nightmares of so much red, but each time he woke up, he forgot everything that had happened.

Each day that passed went in a similar fashion. 

He woke up, ate a tiny amount of breakfast that Jackson made for him. Then his bandages were cleaned by the android who, once that was sorted, helped Gavin to move around the room.

Each day, Gavin would walk a little further with a little less help, but nonetheless, still needed the support.

Four days of being unconscious, nine days of endless attempts at walking on his own, using the rails to support him until he could walk from them to Jackson, who was standing across the room, without falling flat on his face. Which happened about five times.

Gavin & the floor were starting to form a long standing relationship.

On the tenth day, the amount of drugs that were being pumped into Gavin were taken down a notch. Not enough to clear his fuzzy head, but enough that he could have a more coherent conversation.

Gavin was sitting on the floor of the room, legs crossed into a basket with Arthur, his cat, lounging in his lap. He was lazily trying to bat the small feathered toy Gavin was holding just out of reach of him.

He had begged Jackson to bring him his cat, but the android said no over & over again. Said that an animal was not allowed in a sterile room that needed to stay clean while he was recovering. But Gavin pulled the manipulation card & won his case.

Yeah, he had definitely spent too much fucking time around Nines before all of this but Gavin was beginning to see why that man manipulated so easily, time after time. Because it fucking worked.

Gavin had fake tears in his eyes. Had said how lonely he was & how he just wanted to be sure his cat was okay & that he needed something familiar. It was all true, but if none of his friends could show up, then the least they could do was give him his fucking cat. Gavin had told Jackson to run it by his psychiatrist.

Then, just like that, a few hours later, Gavin had a very lazy Arthur in his lap. 

Arthur, who did not give a single fuck about anything that was in the room but him. It felt good to have the attention. He had Chloe to thank for it, whenever he saw her again.

Jackson made his way into the too-fucking-clean room with a tray of food, the look of worry at seeing Gavin on the floor immediately morphing into a gentle smile when he saw his patient was simply playing with his pet.

“Feeling a little better today?” The android asked as he too, sat himself on the floor opposite Gavin, placing the tray of food down beside him.

Jackson had been taught a thing or two by Chloe in regards to catering to Gavin & one of the things she had explained to him was to just let the man do his thing. Sitting on the floor, lying upside down with his head hanging over the side of the bed? Didn’t matter. 

Gavin craved a sense of control with his own body, so allowing him to exist wherever & however he wanted was imperative to a positive mindset.

So rather than pointing out how sitting on the floor with his legs crossed was bad for his hips, was bad for his recovery given his history & injuries, Jackson simply sat opposite him.

Gavin’s attention immediately went to the food as the smell filled his nostrils.

_Pasta._

In a passing conversation with Jackson on one of the days, Gavin had mentioned his Italian descent. It came up while talking about food & Gavin had explained that he’d be happier here if he had Italian food to eat.

The android had actually fucking listened.

“I guess so.” Gavin finally answered Jackson’s question with a shrug, carefully scooping up Arthur to place the cat down on Jackson’s lap. Then, he grabbed one of the android’s hands, putting the toy in it & maneuvered it so the android was holding it just above Arthur’s head. 

The android’s LED began to spin yellow at the sudden attention from the little furry creature, but complied & copied what he had seen Gavin doing. 

Gavin leaned over to pull the tray of food towards himself, picking up the bowl of pasta & immediately digging into it as he watched the android & the cat with an amused interest. 

At one point, Gavin even fucking laughed. It was only brief, lasted only for a second before he realised & quickly shut himself up, but Jackson simply looked so bewildered when Arthur’s claws sank into his hand to pull the toy closer that Gavin couldn’t help but laugh.

“Violent little shit, y’know.”

“I can see that.” The android retorted, but there was a softness to his voice despite the unsure, yellow LED. “How is the food?”

“Good.” Gavin spoke around a mouthful, a nod of his head following to show clarification that it was some good fucking pasta. After swallowing down his food, Gavin murmured rather out of the blue, “Where is Elijah?”

“I don’t know.”

“Chloe?”

“Working.”

“Hank?”

“Working.”

“Tina? Joseph? Ni-” Gavin swallowed that last name before it fully left his mouth, putting his bowl down in favour of picking up the to-go coffee mug from the tray. As he sipped it, he could taste immediately that it was decaf, but that was the only way Jackson would let up & actually let him get a fucking coffee fix. “Why haven’t they visited me?”

“They are not allowed, Gavin, we have been over this.” Jackson put the cat toy down, his hand ever so hesitantly beginning to stroke along the cat’s fur. For a moment, the android watched his hand & Gavin knew for a fact that he was also scanning Arthur to be sure he was in no way hurting the cat. It was actually kind of fuckin’ adorable.

Finally, he looked back up to Gavin as he added, “I have already told you that nobody outside of a select few can know of our whereabouts. I assure you that your friends at the DPD have been notified that you are in safe hands & in recovery. Chloe spoke to Hank & Joseph.”

“Are they… Are they okay?”

“They asked the same thing about you. Would you like to phone someone today?” Jackson asked softly. He reached into the pocket of his uniform, pulled out a cellphone & handed it to Gavin. “Yours was destroyed.”

Neither Chloe nor Jackson wanted Gavin to feel trapped here. The man had expressed how the first time being stuck in Cyberlife hadn’t been a positive experience & they wanted to cater to making it better the best they could given the orders they had to follow given by Elijah.

Having the choice to at least talk to the people he cared for was a step in the right direction. 

It was clear that both Jackson & Chloe wanted to see Gavin heal, but at a pace that was comfortable for him. If he didn’t feel like walking that day, then Jackson wouldn’t press the matter. If he was a grouchy little shit who refused to speak, that was okay too.

Funny how androids were treating him better than any of the human employees ever did.

Weirdly, if Gavin had never been stuck in this room with an AP700, day in, day out, he likely would have never felt a goddamn thing towards these androids. But now? Seeing how Jackson was treating him with more compassion than any human nurse ever did? 

Gavin was beginning to think that Elijah had created the good that the world was in dire need of.

Shame it was all to make a fucking profit.

Gavin felt almost hesitant as he took the phone, nibbling at his lip as he looked down at it, shiny & new. It was already set up so all he had to do was add some contacts, it even had a goddamn fucking screen wallpaper of his cat.

“What do I tell them?” Gavin asked, brows knit together. “What do they know?”

“Hank & Joseph were told everything, according to Chloe. So… Tell them whatever comes to mind. If you phone someone else, just talk to them. I am sure whoever you call, they will simply be happy to hear your voice.”

“Okay.” Gavin settled on after a few moments, turning the phone over in his hands a few times as he contemplated who he could phone. Thank fuck for contacts being saved to the Cloud because fuck if he could remember anyone’s phone numbers. 

After logging in & re-downloading them all, Gavin finally settled on calling his adoptive dad first.

After a few rings, the other line finally picked up with a rather formal, _“Lieutenant Anderson speaking.”_

That was indication enough that Hank was at work. Whenever he was off duty, he answered the phone with a very grouchy, ‘what?!’

Tears filled Gavin’s eyes in record speed & it took him an extra moment before he could finally force his words out from where they were sitting stubbornly in his throat, “D-Dad?”

_“Gavin?!”_

“Yeah-”

Before he could even continue, he could hear Hank shuffling around before speaking, _“Oh, Son, we’ve been worried about you. Your brother said I couldn’t-”_

“I know.” Gavin rasped out, looking to Jackson, then to Arthur, using his free hand to reach out to gently pet the cat’s head to give him something to focus on. “I-I’m scared, Hank, I-”

Gavin didn’t get to say what it was he was thinking. Hank’s dad instincts heard ‘I’m scared’ in that shaky voice & kicked in a little too fast.

_“Shh, I know, Kid, I know. You just gotta focus on getting better, alright? Chloe said you’re making progress. Said you got one of them androids lookin’ out for ya. Elijah not there?”_

“Nah. He doesn’t… Hank, he _doesn’t care._ Ain’t even seen him since I-I woke up here. But yeah… Android. Named him Jackson. They’re not so bad, y’know-” Gavin let out an ever so subtle, hollow chuckle as he looked to Jackson, the android smiling at him before looking back to the cat that was using his lap as a bed.

Hank made a passing comment that just because Gavin thought androids were not so bad, didn’t mean he was going to be trusting them any time soon. From there, the duo just spoke a little about nothing in particular, just something to ease Gavin’s loneliness.

What Gavin hadn’t been told however, was that anyone who he may call had been informed by Chloe to not bring up Emma, to not bring up anything that may even remotely allude back to her. Not until Gavin was off the medication that was keeping him docile & like a walking fucking zombie. Not before he had time to process it all.

Which was why Hank was so quick to brush aside Gavin telling him was afraid. Because how the fuck would he be able to explain anything if the conversation swayed towards the fire?

“Can I- Is Tina there? Or Joseph?” Gavin asked quietly, chewing at his lip as he waited for a reply. The lieutenant said that Tina wasn’t there, that she needed to take a few days off, but she was okay. He then heard Hank shuffling around, it taking a long five minutes followed up by a ‘hold on’ grumbled into the phone before finally, fucking finally, a familiar voice filled the other line.

_“Glowstick?”_

Fucking ‘glowstick’. The nickname still managed to have a little smile tugging at the corners of Gavin’s lips, even if it was only for a fleeting moment.

“Cap-” Gavin practically coughed out the name, clearing his throat before adding on, “H-Hey, Dipshit.”

 _“You scared the shit out of me, Asshole.”_ Joseph began. _“You gotta stop doing that. Fire & water, Gav, we gotta keep you away from it all.” _

“Tell me about it.” Gavin laughed weakly with a shake of his head, tears slipping down his cheeks. Jackson silently offered Gavin a tissue which he took & wiped his tears away with. “How… Uh, how’d that meeting go? With Prickens?”

They both knew what Gavin was doing; avoiding talking about himself by turning the conversation onto the other person. But Gavin also knew that Joseph wouldn’t push it as he could hear the relief in Joseph’s voice at just getting to talk to him.

 _“Not that great. They believe I had nothing to do with my team’s… connections, but there’s still stuff that needs figuring out. Look, Glowstick, Chlo said I can’t come see ya but… You’re gonna come home soon, right? Not that I’ll ever admit it again, but I’m starting to kinda miss your dumb ass.”_ **  
**

‘Come home soon.’

_Home._

“Uhm… I think so. Miss you too, it’s lonely here, man.” Gavin sighed audibly down the phone. “Chlo said you were looking after Arthur before she picked him up for me?”

Just like that, Joseph began to ramble. He talked to Gavin about how Tina had taken time off work & how a lot of it was spent at Gavin’s apartment, looking after Arthur. Joseph explained how he would pop over every few days on his way back to his place, the two of them eating takeout on Gavin’s couch while Tina waited for that door to open. Waited for Gavin to walk right through.

Even though he never did.

He talked a little about work & then recounted a little bit of inspirational talk, saying how Gavin just needed to focus on recovering so he could come back home & give them all the best, crushing hugs. 

After ten more minutes of mindless conversation & the promise of some much needed Call Of Duty gaming session when Gavin got home, the phone was handed back to Hank.

They spoke briefly before Gavin said he was getting tired & wanted to rest. With another promise of phoning Hank but this time when he was finally on his way home, whenever that would be, Gavin hung up the phone & tucked it into his sweatpants pocket.

Having Arthur sleep at the foot of his bed again & having got to talk to those who genuinely fucking cared, even if for the briefest of moments in his mundane rinse-&-repeat daily routine, Gavin was feeling a little better.

It was only brief. A momentary sense of ‘okay’ that ended every single time he put his phone down from a short call or text.

Every so often, when texting Tina, Gavin would go back onto his contacts & hover over Nines’. He had promptly changed the contact name from ‘Dick Wolf’ to simply ‘9s’ with a knife emoji.

He thought about sending a text full of angry capital letters. Other times, he thought about phoning the prick to scream down the phone, demanding answers. Answers that he knew he wouldn’t get. If he wasn’t getting any from his own fucking brother, did he really expect to get any from the fucking asshole who had caused all of this?

So, Gavin never contacted Nines from his new number. 

By the fourteenth day, when Jackson decided that Gavin would be able to move around, ready for the funeral with minimal help, that was when the IV was removed. That was when the falsified, cotton-wool world that was around Gavin came crashing down.

The white sheet had finally been pulled back, revealing the ugliness that lay beneath.

Everything hurt.

But the physical pain was nothing in comparison to the way his chest felt. It ached so much that he couldn’t even fucking cry. Nothing came out, nothing but silent screams & shaky breaths.

Chloe had been there on the fourteenth day. She was sitting in a chair beside Gavin’s bed as she waited patiently for him to wake up. She then waited patiently for him to calm down, speaking as softly as she could to help.

Once Gavin was a little more calm, Chloe explained everything that had happened, that had resulted in Gavin needing physiotherapy to walk again.

She explained that something had dislodged in his lower spine & hip, which severed the connection to the nerves & rendered his legs useless.

As carefully as she could, Chloe explained that when the Lumbar nerves were damaged, it can cause paralysis to the hips & legs. It was something that Gavin had already suffered through once before, but Cyberlife had fixed it. When Cyberlife replaced his spine with the mechanical one months upon months prior, they had done the same thing to 80% of Gavin’s hips too.

When Gavin was shoved back by Rupert, the sheer force of the push, of Gavin landing on rubble that hit right into his lower back with the added pressure of Emma tumbling down on top of him, it severed the mechanical connections that were around his lower spine, causing temporary paralysis.

Worst of it all, though?

It was an easy fix.

The moment they had got Gavin to a secret Cyberlife hospital, they were able to fix the damage. They then reinforced the framing around his spine to be sure it could withstand a hell of a lot more damage than that in the future.

The carbon-fibre coloured plating on his arm was twice as sturdy as the original, the old one being too cracked & had far too much fire damage for any chance of repair. So instead, they were just replaced with the upgraded versions.

Cyberlife also had to do ‘extra work’ to his left leg & hip, but Chloe didn’t go into details. They never went into fucking details.

Elijah & Cyberlife had taken the fucking liberty to fix up Gavin, to bring him back from the dead yet again when Gavin had been perfectly content with burning in that fire. He had been perfectly content with waiting in a rubble filled room, waiting for the flames to overtake & engulf him as he held Emma’s body against his chest.

But no, Elijah & his stupid obsession with keeping Gavin alive got in the way. 

Each time Gavin woke up, he was a little more robot & a little less human & that alone absolutely fucking terrified him.

After Chloe explained everything that happened, how long Gavin had been out before he woke up, how they tried to save Emma too-

Gavin fucking lost it.

Those silent screams from before now came out as full blown sobs.

Now the drugs had worn off, Gavin felt everything that they were trying to placate.

He cried & he fucking cried, screaming at Chloe that she had no right to talk to him, that they had no right to bring him back alive. He screamed about how he didn’t want this, that how dare she try to comfort him when she had no idea how the hell it must feel to have your soul ripped from your body & torn into fucking pieces. 

Gavin went to stand, knowing that there was a 50/50 chance that he’d end up on the floor again. But this time, he was fueled by pure, undiluted rage & it was almost as though his anger was the only thing that was keeping him standing with absolutely no support & no pain meds to dull the ache.

If it was anger that was going to keep him standing, then so fucking be it.

The time for anything else was over & now he had nothing left to lose.

As he stood, Chloe’s hand flew out to carefully steady Gavin, to be sure he was okay, but Gavin’s left hand gripped her wrist with bone crushing force as he narrowed his dark, tired eyes right at her, LED flaring a dangerous red.

From the moment the drugs had worn off, it was red.

“Do. Not. Fucking touch me, Chloe.” Gavin muttered dangerously through grit teeth, his voice so barely there, it almost shocked him. 

Fingers dug into Chloe’s flesh & the nanites that had momentarily covered his arm crawled back to once more reveal his new, gun-metal grey chassis. No cracks, no scuffs.

Good as fucking new. Funny how the more they brought him back alive, the more dead he felt.

“If you try to stop me from leaving-”

“I won’t stop you.” Chloe cut him off before he had the chance to spew threats her way that she knew he would regret later on. Not once did she falter beneath Gavin’s vice tight grip. 

The coolness of plastimetal against his hand caught him off guard & Gavin dropped his gaze to look down to where he was clutching onto Chloe’s wrist.

His eyes widened ever so slightly as he stared down at the sleek, white framework, similar to his, but no intricate blue detailing.

“Ga-"

“Oh, you have to be kidding me!” Gavin spat bitterly. “You’re one of them?!” He winced slightly as the words clawed at his throat as they made their way out, as though each fucking letter had little razorblades attached. He raised Chloe’s arm to hold it up in front of their faces, his features scrunching up in disgust.

Everything clicked into place.

The almost-expressions, the way every action looked as though it were calculated, the hacking into his arm-

She was one of them. She had always fucking been one of them.

“You’re one of them & y-you let her die! You get to fucking live while she doesn’t?! You & ‘Lijah trying t-to turn me into one of you fucking freaks?! What about her- What about how I fucking feel?!”

Gavin’s voice was so rough & raspy, even more than usual due to residual damage from the smoke that was amplified by his sobs & breakdowns, that shouting only served to make it worse.

Deep down, Gavin knew he didn’t mean what he was saying & Chloe knew he didn’t mean it either, it was just anger projecting his words into little bullets, but that didn’t mean they didn’t hurt any less upon impact.

Softly, with a hint of fear in her voice, Chloe murmured, “Gavin, let go of me. Please don’t do what I think you’re ab-”

It was too fucking late.

Gavin tried to open an interface, even though he wasn’t one hundred percent certain on what exactly it was, he got a small sense of understanding. 

When it was blocked on Chloe’s end, Gavin tried again & as Chloe attempted to pull back, blunt nails dug into her chassis with enough force to leave little crescent marks, blue slowly dripping out. “You want to know how it feels to be alive, Chlo?! To be fucking human?! Allow me to fucking show you!”

Nobody was there to stop Gavin from crossing lines that he knew he shouldn’t be crossing.

“O-Okay… Okay, Gavin, just… Breathe.” Chloe began & there was so much reluctance in her voice, in the way she allowed her walls to come down & let Gavin in, but allowing him in willingly was better than a forced interface, every android knew that.

Once the interface was open, Gavin’s mind felt as though it was fucking imploding with too many things all at once, too many boxes bombarding his vision. 

Fuck, it was too much.

All of the hurt he felt, all of the images he could recall of Emma bleeding out in his arms with the helplessness of knowing there was no escape, Gavin projected every single one of them through the interface, all but shoving them on Chloe so she could feel how he did.

If her sudden cry of horror & pain were anything to go off of, then it was fucking working.

It was torturous, not just for Chloe.

Tears slipped down his cheeks as his own mind was filled with the images of the fire. Due to the way Chloe had such motherly instincts when it came to Emma, Gavin knew those memories were heartbreaking for her.

But Gavin needed other people to feel his pain, they deserved it. He was fucking done. The world was a cruel goddamn place & it was about time people saw it how he did.

Thing was, it wasn’t just him hurting Chloe, she was hurting him right back.

During the interface, not only was there a strong sense of guilt, but Chloe also shoved fractured images & memories of Nines onto Gavin. Only little pieces, as though she was in complete control, letting Gavin see the parts that she wanted him to see.

Nines, getting his face dragged through glass by someone who Gavin could only see the back of, but when they looked up, Gavin could see it was- 

_Nines?_

Same piercing grey eyes, same kind of clothes, same everything. Well, except for that spinning little disc on the side of his head. An LED. Just like what Gavin had. Jackson, too. 

_An android?!_

In amongst the images of that thing hurting Nines, there were memories of conversations. 

Elijah talking about killing Nines, about framing him blowing up Cyberlife by using a goddamn replicant-fucking-android version of the man. Not only would that gain sympathy, but it would also ruin A9 Genetics in the process, thus leaving Cyberlife as the victors in the grand scheme of it all.

Chloe genuinely did want to help Gavin, but if he was going to go down this route, then at the very least he deserved to know what Elijah wasn’t telling him & what Nines would refuse to answer. 

Even if it was too much at once on someone who had only just had one of the most important pieces of their life taken from them.

Gavin yanked his hand free from Chloe’s at that, stumbling backwards. Thankfully, the bed was there to catch Gavin’s fall & his hands pressed back against it to keep him steady.

His chest rose & fell rapidly, his eyes stinging as tears threatened to blur his vision.

He knew.

Nines knew. 

Nines had been right this entire time. It was Elijah.

“He- I think he was going to tell me- You- He- Fuck!” Gavin’s words were failing him. There was too much going on in his head all at once & it felt like his goddamn brain was going to fry. His stress levels were popping up in his vision, creeping up & up, serving as a little reminder to fucking breathe.

“You did that to him?! That thing! He said El-” Gavin cut himself off when Chloe shot him a dangerous fucking look, her eyes flickering to the camera that was in the corner of the room just behind her, indicating that Gavin needed to shut the fuck up.

For once in his life, Gavin actually fucking listened & fell quiet. He swallowed the expletives that were sitting on the tip of his tongue, drew in a deep breath through his nose & exhaled out through his mouth, just like how Chloe & Tina had taught him to.

There was a sad, almost-smile on his psychiatrist’s face as she saw Gavin using techniques he had been taught to keep himself as level headed as possible.

“You have been cooped up in here for a few weeks now. Perhaps…. We could go on a walk today, Gavin?” Chloe asked, putting on her usual calm voice that all but screamed ‘I’m here to help’, but Gavin could see right through it.

He could see the way she was almost silently pleading with him to listen to her & to just play along. He could see that she was hiding, that she was scared, just as much as he was. 

They were not safe here.

“The fresh air may help clear your head.” Chloe added on.

Yeah, like he wasn’t going to get enough fresh air when attending a fucking funeral later on that afternoon, having to act as though his whole world wasn’t falling into irreparable pieces around him.

He didn’t want to go to a fucking funeral. He didn’t want to go on a walk. He didn’t want anything.

But it was less about what Gavin wanted now & more so what he needed, what he needed to do. To get revenge on those who took Emma away from him; because at the end of the day, someone could strip Gavin of absolutely everything, but true evil came to him in the form of Elijah deciding that taking his daughter away was in any way a smart move.

He didn’t care if it had technically been ‘an accident’; that if Elijah hadn’t planned on Emma being in the building. That didn’t fucking matter. All that mattered was sh was gone & it was his own fucking brother’s fault.

Gavin shot a man in the head years upon years ago for killing two children. So, what the fuck was he going to do to the man who killed _his_ child? 

It didn’t matter if Elijah was family.

Gavin was a goddamn ticking time bomb.

“O-Okay.” Was all the man could respond with. 

So from there, Chloe collected what little belongings Gavin had with him, which were just a few pairs of clothes. Jackson came in to aid in helping Gavin change into a fresh pair of sweatpants & one of his thick, black sweaters. He then helped Gavin slide on his sneakers too.

Sure, Gavin could have changed himself, but it would have taken twice as long seeing as he was still struggling with the pain in his left leg again. Oh how awfully reminiscent the pain was of the first time around, when Nines’ brother smashed his fucking kneecap in just for the hell of it.

Once he was ready, Jackson helped Gavin with his crutches after giving him some medication to ease the pain in his leg a little. Despite Gavin’s protests, the android managed to convince him to just use the crutches for today as it would be the first time he was walking any further than around his room & it'd be better to be safe than sorry.

Gavin only agreed because he was too tired to try to argue when he knew that the android was right. 

Chloe asked the android to take Arthur back to the man’s apartment & just like that, with two androids & a cat, Gavin headed out of the white room for the first time in weeks.

It was all just so scarily similar to the first time. The aches & pains, the clean rooms, the smells, the medication & the machinery. Except this time, perhaps Elijah wouldn’t be able to keep tabs on him.

After a very quiet forty minute car journey, Gavin & Chloe were sat in a quiet park on the south-side of the city, the side that Gavin fucking despised being in after his ‘incident’.

His crutches were resting beside him, leaning against the bench & Gavin was bunkered down as small as he could get in his sweater, with Chloe sitting perfectly straight beside him. 

For a long while, they just sat quietly together as Gavin watched people get along with their day before getting distracted by a bird in a nest & then focused on that for a little while. 

Strip them back to basics & they were simply a psychiatrist & her struggling patient, sitting on a park bench, enjoying a moment of tranquility. 

When did things get so complicated?

During the car journey, Chloe explained that Elijah had the ridiculous notion that he could create a replica of Nines to replace the human one. He could command it at his own will, therefore getting back at Amanda, at the Wolf family & whatever the fuck else he wanted by ruining A9 Genetics.

It was fucking psychotic.

RK900 was its name.

The RK that Emma was talking about, that Emma had tried to say while she was in his arms. Her words were ‘RK is Ri-’, but she never finished her sentence.

RK is Richard.

Fucking hell.

Sure, it was goddamn fucked up, but honestly? Gavin struggled to be surprised. 

He had learnt so much about his brother that the old image of him that he once had was fucking burnt to a crisp along with Cyberlife Tower. Elijah was just as bad as every other power hungry, egotistical prick with a God complex & money to literally burn.

Ever since he started building Gavin back up with technology, after learning that it actually worked, he knew that his brother developed a weird obsession with it all. Knew that the man loved to push just what it meant to be ‘human’. 

Now that Gavin thought about it, Elijah & Nines were a perfect fucking match for each other.

After a bitter, vacant laugh & a shake of his head, along with learning that Chloe had ‘dealt with RK accordingly’, whatever the fuck that meant, Gavin finally pulled himself from his spiraling thoughts.

Sitting on that bench together, the detective finally murmured, “He’s going to be angry with you when he realises you’re not taking me back there.” To which Chloe almost immediately responded with an ever so soft, “I know.”

She studied Gavin for a moment before following his gaze to curiously look at the bird that he was ever so interested in, adding on, “But, you need to know the truth.”

“Which is?” Hadn’t he learnt enough? Chloe was an android, ‘Richard’ was a front for fucking _Nines_ , that Nines was a piece of shit, that Elijah was a piece of shit. That Elijah had set up the fire, that Elijah had killed Em- _Fuck!_ Fuck, he needed to get the fuck out of Detroit. Before he did something that there’d be no walking away from. 

There was a brief pause, one that consisted of the duo glancing towards one another, an almost-look of trepidation sitting on Chloe’s features before she finally said, “I was hoping he could help me explain.”

“He-?” Gavin went to ask who the fuck Chloe was on about & why the hell they were in the south-side of Detroit, but that question was very quickly answered as Chloe stood, brushed down her dress & looked directly at a man walking towards them.

As soon as Gavin followed Chloe’s gaze, he was so sure that his breath got caught up in his throat, heart sinking in his chest as his stomach dropped through the floor.

Momentarily frozen like a deer in headlights.

Walking towards him was a goddamn Wolf.

The man was wearing black pants & Oxford shoes, all matching a too-fucking-smart black dress coat that was buttoned up. His hands were in his jacket pockets until he strode up to Chloe, only then did he take a hand out to hold it out for her to shake.

As he got closer, Gavin could see those honey-brown eyes & all over again he felt how he did in his apartment when he’d seen the man on the fucking news. 

Connor fucking Wolf.

Chloe just barely got to shake the man’s hand with a hello when Gavin forced himself up from where he was sitting & took a limp forward, using the momentum of his slight stumble to throw one of the hardest punches he possibly could right to Connor’s jaw. 

Fuck, if that didn’t feel goddamn fantastic.

Gavin had used his left hand, reinforced metal colliding with Connor’s chiseled jawline with so much force that it had Connor’s head snapping to the side, the man stumbling with a surprised groan of pain, a hand flying up to cradle the impact sight.

The force was enough to have the nanites around Gavin’s knuckles struggling to stay intact.

Gavin had a rather solid left hook anyway given how often he worked out to blow off steam, so having a bionic arm? It was like having his very own built in brass-fucking-knuckles.

_“Fuck you!”_

_“Gavin!”_ Chloe chastised & right as Gavin was about to throw another punch, she grabbed Gavin’s wrist with as much force as she could to hold the cyborg back. “Stop it!”

“He tortured me!”

 _“No,_ he didn’t! Gavin, you need to calm down, right now.” She spat back, her voice somewhat urgent, using that fucking ‘mom tone’ that Tina had. Her grip stayed on Gavin’s wrist as he visibly shook with anger. “Do you really think I would ask him here if he were to hurt you, Gavin?! He is going to help us.”

“But-”

“Kamski.” Connor spoke softly after straightening himself back out, tongue visibly poking around the side of his mouth to see if Gavin had knocked any teeth loose. It was miraculous that he hadn’t seeing as that was his fucking intention. Fuck up that pretty face a little.

“I ain’t a fucking Kamski… _not anymore_.” He spat defensively & Connor quickly corrected himself with, “Reed” instead. 

Connor looked as though he were about to offer Gavin his hand to shake, but quickly decided against it & instead bowed his head once as he spoke, “My condolences for your loss, Reed, I cannot imagine what you mu-”

“No, you can’t! You & your fucking Wolf pack, none of you fuckin’ understand how pain feels! Sadistic fuckin’ pricks, all a’ya!” Gavin spat, shrugging Chloe off of him & very nearly losing his footing, but managed to save himself before he made a complete fool of himself.

“Your psychiatrist was right about you. Lots of anger.” Connor observed. “But I suppose you are right, I don’t know your pain, Gavin, but I came here in the hopes of alleviating some.”

“Yeah? Well what the fuck would you know?” Gavin asked as he slowly sat himself back down on the bench when he could feel his legs beginning to shake. He rested his elbows on his thighs, bowing his head as he ran his hands through his hair rather roughly.

Connor politely asked Chloe if he could sit where she had once occupied, waiting for her permission before sitting beside Gavin, watching the man for a moment before looking ahead. “There is a lot that you don’t know.”

Well, that was a fucking understatement, wasn’t it? 

There were still so many questions that Gavin desperately needed answering, even though he wasn’t so sure if he wanted the answers or not. He was beginning to think that perhaps not knowing everything was better, because at least then he could pretend as though there were other alternatives, that things were not as bad as they really were.

Once he knew the truth, there was no fooling himself into being blissfully ignorant to reality.

“Yeah-” Gavin slowly raised his head, eyes flickering to his psychiatrist before landing on Connor, but he couldn’t bear looking into those brown eyes as he feared triggering flashbacks, so he looked away as he finished his sentence, “-I’m beginning to see that.”

After a moment of silence, Connor joked about the strength of Gavin’s punch before going on to explain that he had nothing to do with Gavin’s torture. He even brought with him an old plane ticket, which showed Connor was out of Detroit at the time of Gavin’s ‘incident.’

The Wolf sibling then went on to explain he had a twin brother called Cain who had the same coloured eyes, but with a higher affinity for taking pleasure in hurting others. Hell, the fucker even sounded somewhat remorseful when his brother’s actions were brought up.

“You just openly admitted to a detective that Cain Wolf, _your brother_ , tortured him.” Gavin pointed out from where he was glaring ahead as someone walking their dog with a smile on their face passed them by.

 _I shouldn’t be out here,_ Gavin thought rather bitterly. He could feel his anger simmering just below the surface, bubbling up just a little more with each passing person who had a smile on their face as though Gavin’s whole world hadn’t crumbled down around them.

But that was just the thing, wasn’t it? One of the many reasons why Gavin was always so angry at everything. 

His heart had been metaphorically ripped out of his chest & crushed into tiny pieces as the air was punched from his lungs yet somehow, fucking somehow, he stood himself up with only grazes on his knees & a gaping hole where his heart once lay.

Yet… Nobody saw any of that. 

Nobody could see that the ground got ripped from beneath his feet or that he was at war with himself in his own head.

So yeah, he was fucking angry; because how fucking dare the world keep on spinning in the same old way when his had fallen apart?

“I know.” Connor’s calm voice broke Gavin from his thoughts right before they could bubble over in the form of some sort of outburst. His sheer honesty had Gavin hesitantly turning to fix the man with a puzzled look. Brows furrowed & knit tightly together, eyes narrowed into an irritated glare.

“What the fuck is your agenda, huh? What are you getting out of this?” Perhaps he should have asked that question before sleeping with Nines the first time around. Then the second, then the- Fuckin’ shit, he was a mess. “That’s your fuckin’ brother that you’re throwing under the bus.”

“Not all brothers are worth defending.” 

Gavin stiffened at that. He dragged his eyes from Connor & those stupid fucking big, brown eyes of his in favour of looking up at Chloe, who was standing just beside the bench. “We talkin’ about Eli now? Nines, he uh-” The detective’s eyes flickered to Connor, then back to Chloe again. “Nines told me Elijah knew it was him who arranged for- Y’know.”

Gavin gestured to his own face, to the scars that would mark it until the day he died for good.

Fuck, it was still so difficult to properly say, ‘Hey, I was thrown off of a parking lot’, unless anger fueled his words. Spewing it in a fit of rage was easy, but actually talking about it? That was a whole other story.

“He knew.” Chloe confirmed, her pale blue, sad eyes looking right at Gavin as the man in question fixed her with what was at first a look of hurt, but then quickly morphed into anger, then what could only be described as a ‘yeah, thought so’ look. 

A ‘disappointed but not surprised’ look.

Sitting on that park bench with his boyfriend’s, his torturer’s, his- whatever, _Nines’_ fucking brother & his psychiatrist, Gavin uncovered even more truths that were being hidden away from him.

Chloe explained a lot, all with Connor there to hear it too, which gave Gavin a small sense that he was just another person who knew more about Gavin’s life than he did himself. Again, no fucking surprise there.

Chloe explained as much as she believed Gavin would be able to handle in his current state. Most of which was her putting a sour taste in Gavin’s mouth every time he uttered Elijah’s name.

She left out any talk of RK900 seeing as Connor clearly didn’t know & instead just worded it so she left the android out. She also went into a little more detail about Elijah’s plan that she hadn’t earlier now that she had Connor there too.

While Gavin was away from reality for two weeks, A9 Genetics had been suffering greatly, while Cyberlife had been reaping the rewards of a good-willed public, riding on a sympathetic wave right to the top from everyone around them.

Which is why Connor agreed to come out & share his side of the story too. Chloe played into the way Gavin’s brain worked; first & foremost, he was a detective. Gavin lived most of his life needing to hear stories from both sides. Both the perp & the victim. He always needed both sides of the story for things to make sense to him.

So right here on this bench, Gavin was getting both sides, free from lies because neither were interested in lying to him to further their cause, unlike Nines & Elijah. If anything, Chloe & Connor’s causes would be furthered by Gavin knowing the truth.

Chloe caught Gavin up to speed with the last few things she had yet to explain. 

He was told that Captain Allen had a task force to work with, but under close watch of Agent Perkins & the FBI. They were trying to find ‘Richard Wolf’ after what was shown on the news, but thus far, he was completely MIA.

This is what Elijah had wanted; to ruin everything. Elijah wanted to watch the world burn around him while he sat on his throne of lies, manipulations & fucking money.

Sounded an awful lot like someone else he knew.

The worst part was Elijah would have gotten away with it too. Chloe would have stayed silent, stayed lying to Gavin about who Elijah really was & would have continued to let the man ruin everyone’s lives piece by piece until he got what he wanted.

The only reason she came clean was because of what happened to Emma.

Once Chloe was done, Connor caught Gavin up to speed with clearing up what he could. Nobody at A9 Genetics knew where Nines was either. This is when it all clicked into place & Gavin just fucking knew that Connor hadn’t told him about Cain for no fucking reason.

Connor needed something from him.

After all was said & done, they both gave Gavin time to digest all that had been said. After a long fucking time, Gavin finally murmured, “What do you really want, Wolf?”

“I said perhaps we could help each other out. I need your help. To find Nines.”

Obviously.

Gavin scoffed, shaking his head, before he pushed himself up from the bench with a slight wince that was masked by a glare & him rubbing at his nose over the deep scar that lay there. “I meant it when I said fuck you. Find him yourself, I’m fuckin’ done here.”

He had got what he wanted. What he had known all along. Everyone always knew more than him & the whole time it was Elijah who was keeping the biggest secrets from him. It was Elijah who was the goddamn reigning champion at being a fucking piece of shit asshole.

Gavin grabbed his crutches, more irritated at the thought of showing weakness in front of Connor, but what-the-fuck-ever, it beat face-planting the floor. Right as he began to slowly walk away, crutches clicking against the concrete with each step, he froze as the man’s voice filled his ears.

“Do you know what the Kubler-Ross model is?” 

Oh for fuck sake.

“Obviously.” Gavin spat, tipping his head to glance over his shoulder at Connor, who was now standing, just a few steps behind him. The Kubler-Ross model was more commonly known as the ‘five stages of grief’. 

As of right now, Gavin knew damn well that he had both the denial & anger stage all rolled into one, pressing in on him harder & harder with each passing hour he was off of that fucking IV.

For now, he had cried all of his tears & shouted all of his expletives. He had sobbed on the floor in a crumpled mess enough. Right in that moment, Gavin’s anger stayed right beneath the surface but he refused to show the fissures in his foundations to Connor fucking Wolf.

Even if he looked like a goddamn wreck on the outside, Connor didn’t need to see the brokenness that lay beneath.

Connor stepped closer, so much closer that Gavin could practically feel the warmth radiating off of the man’s body, pressing against his back. He could have sworn that if he listened hard enough, he’d be able to hear the sound of Connor’s heart beating in his chest. 

Then, with lips barely a few inches from his left ear, the man murmured, “Using your grief as a mask for that anger of yours will only get you so far, Reed. Perhaps you should be more careful who you direct it towards.”

Connor straightened himself back out, brushed down his coat & stepped around Gavin. He paused once more, looking over his shoulder to fix Gavin with an unreadable look before he spoke as though the words before were never said at all, “If you hear from Nines, let me know. It was lovely to see what all of the... fuss has been about.”

The prick even offered Gavin a slight smirk as he made an intentional show of looking the detective up & down as though he could see all of the machinery lying beneath. Connor’s hands found their way back into that too smart fucking coat’s pockets before he headed off towards his sleek, black Bentley that was parked just outside the gates.

Fucking snobbish asshole.

Everything had been a blur since that talk with Connor & Chloe.

But it was almost an intentional blur. He wanted to forget everything, from Elijah to the funeral, from Nines to RK900, to everything else that was going on.

The little bits Gavin did remember, however? They were just as bitter as he expected them to be.

He vaguely remembered actually arguing with Elijah. After that stupid meeting in the park, Gavin & Chloe had attended the funeral that night.

Fucking Elijah was there, as though he had nothing but condolences to share, his ‘deepest apologies’ & tears like he actually fucking cared in the slightest. Like she wasn’t dead because of him.

Gavin remembered rocking up to his brother & punching him full force in the nose, the sound of cartilage cracking beneath the force doing nothing for him as it usually would.

He remembered shouting at the man, that he wished it had been him who had perished in that fire. He remembered Joseph wrapping two strong arms around his middle from behind where he held him back as Gavin tried to launch at his brother again.

The SWAT Captain whispered between his shoulder blades, “Not here, Gav. Not fucking here. She wouldn’t want that.”

Bitterly, Gavin had responded with, “Dead people don’t have wants.”

Joseph had tried to convince him that he didn’t mean that, that he had every right to be angry & that he could take it out on anything he wanted to, but right in that moment, he needed to shut the fuck up.

So he did.

Gavin fell quiet, limp as he leaned his full weight against the Captain’s sturdy frame with his android caretaker close by. He watched through numb eyes as a closed casket procession passed him by. Looked away as it was lowered into the ground because he couldn’t bear to watch it happen.

He watched as his heart, soul & happiness were buried six feet under in a plot that the sun would shine on for most of the day. In a plot with a bench with a little silver plaque that Gavin refused to read.

He had left early. Didn’t even speak there. Chloe had tried to stop him, saying that they needed to speak of something important before Gavin disappeared, but he was already telling her to fuck off before he ever found out what it was that she wanted to tell him.

Hadn’t she told him enough already?

Although, right before he left, Chloe did say, “You dropped this back in the hospital.” 

Piquing Gavin’s attention, he turned to see what she was talking about.

It was his polaroid. The one that once sat on his computer terminal at work where he could see it every day, the stupid polaroid of him & Emma grinning like idiots. 

Gavin stared down at it for a long few moments before shaking his head & gently pushing her hand away. He muttered out a quiet, “I’m good” & that was the last thing he said before he left, leaving Chloe standing there with that polaroid sitting in her hand.

Just as how nobody had seen Nines since the fire; that was the last that anyone really saw of Gavin, too.

For a while, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger, I know, I think I have an issue with writing them at this point:') I  
> f you miss the big bastard Nines & some G9 angsty goodness, then don't worry, he'll be back very soon;)
> 
> Thank you for any comments & kudos, they mean a lot <3


	15. I Need A Gangster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long recovery from the fire, nobody had seen Gavin for months since the funeral. 
> 
> That was until he contacted the only person who he believed could help him settle this all once & for all. Of course, nothing could be as easy as originally thought & Gavin should have been wise to listen to Nines when he said that he couldn't trust Amanda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Important:** This is a huge spoiler for the end of the chapter, but PLEASE read the updated tag before reading this chapter as this is a rather plot heavy one with a rather sad ending.
> 
> With that being said, I really do hope that you enjoy reading it.

Gavin was still absolutely terrified of heights.

Looking over a bridge still sent him into fight or flight mode. Looking over his apartment balcony, despite the fact it was so close to the fucking ground that you could probably jump off it without trouble, still gave him vertigo.

Ledges, bridges, tall buildings with windows that overlooked the city; it all still had a cold shiver run down his mechanical spine, had memories that he desperately tried to forget, creep right back up on him again.

He’d feel dizzy & it’d begin to feel as though the whole world was being flipped on its head.

Yet, there he was, sitting on a ledge that overlooked a forty foot drop.

Not just any ledge, either. Not just any forty foot drop.

The one that he had been shoved off of all those months ago. 

But he had no clue where else to meet up with one of the most wanted men in Detroit. He had no clue what address he could have sent for the man to know it was  _ him _ sending that text.

After all, nobody had seen Gavin in months.

The only person from Gavin’s old life to have any contact with him since the funeral was Joseph & that was purely by chance. The only proof of that meeting was the little LED that sat on a chain around the Captain’s neck. 

Gavin’s cat had once again taken up residence with Tina on the weekdays & Joseph on the weekends. 

Days of Gavin’s desk sitting vacant turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months.

To begin with, it was understandable as people knew he needed time to heal. Nobody expected him to be at work, but he never showed up to his apartment either. The few that knew of Gavin’s relation to Elijah had no way of contacting him to ask of Gavin’s whereabouts as he’d also been laying low since the fire.

To everyone who knew him, Gavin Reed was missing.

Or at least he was.

Until the person who least expected it got a text from an unknown number with a time & place. 

All Gavin had to do was wait around to see if they would show up.

He had turned up to the car park an hour earlier. He needed the space, needed the time to think. Needed a moment or many to get over his panic of just being back there. But once he got a handle on those stress levels that were dancing in his vision, once they settled back down, he slowly sat on the edge of the car park.

Half an hour of sitting close to the edge led to him eventually hanging one leg over, then the other.

Just like that, he waited; with legs dangling over the edge, the wind catching in his hair & causing it to fall across his face.

The night sky was illuminated by the south side of the city’s bright lights. Gavin just watched them twinkle as he turned his phone over & over in his hand; a nervous habit that he never quite shook.

He lit up the screen every so often, checking to see if he’d get a text back despite knowing damn well that he wouldn’t fucking receive any. Thankfully, that nervous habit was frozen as the time on the screen changed to bang on eleven P.M.    
  
At the exact same time, he heard a car pull up somewhere behind him.

He stayed exactly where he was. He pocketed his phone, listening closely as the car door opened & closed, echoing around the parking lot before it was overtaken by the sound of oh so familiar footfalls. 

He could hear the clicking of the heel on the man’s way too fucking expensive Blucher shoes heading closer & closer until they came to a complete stop just a few steps behind him.

“You came.” Was all Gavin could murmur out, without so much as a look in that direction.

Without missing a beat, that smooth as silk voice that he had fallen so quickly for all those months ago replied with, “I knew it was you.”

Gavin’s eyes welled with tears so fucking quickly. He had to blink them away as he brought a hand up to rub at his nose with a sharp sniff, as though trying to hide his emotions as nothing more than a sniffle from the cold winds the night had brought with it.

He hadn’t seen Tina, Hank, Joseph, Chloe, Jackson or hell, even his fucking cat in months. He hadn’t seen Nines since he walked away & left him behind in his apartment.

So to say there was something oddly bittersweet about Gavin reaching out to anyone would be an understatement, especially considering Nines would have been the last person on his list to contact if he had any other choice.

But he _ needed  _ him. He needed Nines.

When Gavin didn’t respond, he heard those footsteps head a little bit closer until the man sat down on the ledge beside Gavin. A respectful, small distance between them.

He mimicked Gavin’s posture & let his legs dangle over the ledge.

After blinking back another set of tears that he refused to let fall, Gavin first looked that those stupid, shiny black shoes & then to those the black dress pants. Then his eyes trailed up along that torso, spying a white shirt with the sleeves rolled perfectly to the elbows & a black waistcoat to match, just like always.

Finally, his eyes settled onto his face.

_ Nines. _

Thick, black rimmed glasses sat on the gangster’s face & Gavin wondered if he was wearing them to try to hide the evidence of what happened on the night they last saw one another.

The wounds that he remembered stitching up with North, right before he saw those nine tally mark scars.

The wounds he had stitched were all healed now, but the evidence was still there, like the universe didn’t want Nines to forget or be let off lightly. 

Angry & thick, tan-pinkish lines streaked across his face that, in their own way, sort of mirrored how Gavin’s face looked shortly after getting out of Cyberlife the first time.

Gavin’s scars had calmed down somewhat since then, the colour of them had faded & blended a little better to his olive complexion. It didn’t mean that they were not still obnoxiously right there across his face for people to stare at, though.

In the recent months, Gavin’s scruff along his jaw had grown out somewhat into an almost-but-not-quite beard. He was just so fucking tired all of the time, it was too much effort to try looking after himself in that regard. Plus side, though? It helped to shadow over & hide the thick scar on his jaw.

Two scarred faces, staring quietly at each other. It was like the world was stating they were made for each other, like it was some twisted, fucked up sense of fate. But the most fucked up part of all of this, of Nines being right there beside him?

His was the only face that Gavin wanted to see.

Nines was the only person that Gavin could actively talk to about what was going on in his head. He was the only person who could possibly understand why Gavin wanted to do what he was going to do without any judgement.

Before Gavin had completely disappeared off the radar, the few good people in his life promised justice. They promised that they’d do this the right way.

But Gavin didn’t want the ‘right’ way. Not when that way involved Elijah. They’d only haul his ass into a courtroom with minimal evidence that pinned him to the fire & then the prick would use his money to weasel his way out of prison time. It was a show. A farce.

The right way? It didn’t fucking work.

Gavin had spent so many years trying to be sure that the scum of the earth he’d had the unfortunate instances of meeting got what they deserved. But once those cuffs were off, once they were in courtrooms & out of holding cells, they were out of his jurisdiction.

Assholes would barely get six months when they deserved twenty-five to life.

The justice system was broken, corrupt. 

Sure, it was a little hypocritical of Gavin to use the word corrupt when he had actively tampered with a crime scene to keep Elijah safe. When he had actively slept with a goddamn member of Detroit’s mafia & knowingly continued to meet up with the man while having absolutely no intentions of throwing him behind bars.

But he was done doing things the ‘right’ way, especially when the wrong way saw results.

He was done flashing a badge that meant jack shit.

If Elijah wasn’t going to face prison time, if he was going to hide behind his money & his company, then Gavin was going to burn it all. 

It was the least Elijah deserved for taking Emma away from him. 

Gavin was going to make sure that Elijah suffered in every possible fucking way. He was going to make the man regret every action that led up to that god forsaken fire & it all came down to the things that Gavin was tortured for in the first place.

He was so lost in his own head that he almost didn’t catch onto the fact that Nines was speaking, or that he was still staring right at the man’s face.

“I must say, I was expecting an alley, something rather reminiscent of the first time that we…  _ officially _ met back at the gala. But here? Where it all started? I didn’t take you for a poet, Red.”

_ Still a fucking prick, I see. _

Gavin narrowed his eyes, but he said nothing. The fucker still had that smugness to him that Nines greatly enjoyed flaunting for no other reason than the fact he was a prick; even if Gavin could so easily tell that the man was getting self conscious by his staring. 

Gavin averted his gaze to look back at the city as he shuddered, the coolness of the air around them had his shoulders visibly tensing.

For some reason, he went to lean forward, to look between his legs & down to where he had landed after being shoved off of this exact platform by Cain, but Gavin decided against it last minute. Instead, he closed his eyes & drew in a few deep breaths to keep himself composed.

Once he was sure he wasn’t about to get swallowed up by his fear, Gavin’s eyes blinked back open, meeting with Nines’ curious, cool gaze.

“What?” He couldn’t help but spit out rather caustically, still not having managed to find the right words to say to him.

It was weird. He had been sitting there for a fucking hour, repeating what he wanted to say over & over & fucking over again, but the moment he saw Nines’ face? The moment the man was right back in his personal space? Gavin’s mind fell blank, like all of a sudden he forgot how to fucking speak.

“Oh, nothing. I was just trying to determine whether or not this is some ploy to try & arrest me or not.”

_ ‘Try.’  _ As though Gavin wouldn’t succeed if he made the effort to do so.

“Oh…” Gavin vacantly laughed with a shake of his head. “I don’t fuckin’ do that anymore.”

Nines ticked his head ever so slightly in that feline like manner he always did when something caught his attention or made him curious. He always gave Gavin  _ that  _ look. As though he were a science experiment that was about to awe the world. Well, he kind of was. The first half of that sentence, at least.

When Nines said nothing, deciding that look was enough of an indicator that he wanted Gavin to explain a little more, the ex-detective simply muttered, “I quit.”

“You q- Detective Gavin Reed  _ quit  _ his job? I would be lying if I said I didn’t begin to wonder when you would.”

“Unofficially.” Gavin muttered through his grit teeth, glaring slightly as he shoved his hand into his pocket to fish out his cigarettes & wasted absolutely no time in getting one sparked up. 

He drew in a deep drag, holding the smoke in his lungs for as long as he could before ever so slowly exhaling. Not that he could hold it for that long anymore. Ever since the fire, ever since Gavin got out of that hospital, he had an almost constant scratchy throat. 

Holding smoke in his lungs for too long now would only serve to trigger a rather annoying cough. So as he blew it out, he offered his cigarette to Nines to take.

Almost like a peace offering, of sorts. Because a cigarette was just as destructive as every other fucking foundation they had built their ‘relationship’ off of.

_ ‘I quit’. _

_ Right.  _ That’s what happened.

As Nines gently took the cigarette, their hands touching for the briefest of moments, Gavin almost felt guilty for what he wasn’t telling him.

He didn’t tell him the part where right after the funeral, he drank himself stupid as though trying to see how much his body could handle before he needed his stomach pumped. He didn’t tell Nines the part where that lasted for weeks.

That somewhere within those weeks, Gavin had been stumbling out of a bar & had practically collided with Captain Allen.

He didn’t tell Nines the part where Joseph took him back to his place rather than Gavin’s apartment, that he helped to clean him up & told him that he could stay there for the night or for as long as he needed. That Gavin had a breakdown, then another, then another.

That he had snapped a pair of scissors in half in Joseph’s bathroom, locked himself in & used the sharp side to dig his LED out of his head, it clattering into the sink as purple blood splattered across the white marble & seeped down the side of his face.

He never explained that Joseph broke down his own bathroom door to get to him, afraid that Gavin was going to do more than just dig out his LED, seeing as he still had his pistol on him & Joseph only realised  _ after _ the lock clicked shut.

He never explained that he just stood there for what felt like forever, just staring blankly at the man as blood & tears ran down his scarred face.

That when Joseph asked him why he’d do that, that he needed to take him to Chloe to get the LED fixed, that Gavin refused & fought until he fell limp against the Captain’s chest. Only then did Gavin explain that the LED was put in place when he was getting those headaches which would have killed him. 

In his drunken haze, he thought that getting rid of the LED meant that those headaches would come back, that his memories would slowly fade & that he’d ultimately end up dead. That he’d help the process along by drinking.

He just wanted to forget.

Gavin never told Nines that once the blood was cleaned up, Joseph carried him gently to his bed & that he eventually fell asleep on the man’s chest, a heat patch pressed to his lower back to help with the ever present ache. Joseph stroked Gavin’s hair back with his other hand, holding him close until he finally fell to sleep too.

When he woke up, Gavin silently slid out of bed, left his gun, his badge & a note that just said,  _ ‘Pls don’t look for me. Just need some time. Thnx for looking after Arthur. xo ~G’  _ on Joseph’s coffee table. Then he left without a word.

Gavin didn’t tell Nines  _ any  _ of that. He never would, what happened that night, was between him & Cap.

Nobody from his old life had seen him since.

Blinking away the tears in his eyes from that memory, Gavin finally met Nines’ ever cool gaze & caught sight of genuine fucking surprise on his face. As though he thoroughly had not expected Gavin of all people to step down from being a cop.

“Don’t look so fuckin’ shocked. Isn’t this exactly what you wanted all those fuckin’ months ago?” Gavin spat out, his voice rough & scratchy, a drastic opposite to Nines’.

“Still so full of surprises.” Nines finally settled on as he blew the smoke out, offering Gavin’s cigarette back to him. 

Gavin shuffled the tiniest bit closer, using the cigarette as the excuse. But he wasn’t fooling himself & he wasn’t fooling Nines either. He just wanted to be close to the man, they both knew it. 

Close like before. Before guns were pointed, before lies were woven & before everything got so fucking messy.

Nines must have noticed too, because he took the liberty to also move closer, so that space between them was closed & they were sitting on that ledge shoulder to shoulder.

Once his cigarette was smoked right down to the filter, Gavin flicked it over the ledge of the multistorey, watching as little embers flew off the lit end until it fell completely out of sight. Only then did he finally speak up, “Maybe what I have to say next will surprise you even more.”

“Oh?”

“You were right.” Gavin muttered, tipping his head slightly so he could fix Nines with an almost sad look sitting in his eyes. “About Elijah. I know it was him & I know about RK.”

It took a lot to say those words, to force them out of his throat without having them trip over one another. It took a whole fucking lot to keep his head on straight. To know which way was up when his whole world had been turned upside down.

“Oh.”

_ What, no sarcastic remark? No big headed comment about how I was wrong & you were right? After all that has happened, all you have to say is ‘oh’? Where’d your fuckin’ spine go, asshole? _

Maybe Nines was just as tired as he was. Done with the mess of watching two companies feud. Done with being caught in the fucking crossfire over & over & fucking over again.

It had to end. Now.

“So…” Gavin began, drawing in a few, slow, deep breaths to compose himself, to mentally repeat his words over & over again in his head in the hopes that when he finally said them aloud, his voice wouldn’t waiver.

When he took that little bit longer to get his words out, Nines ever so gently slid his hand on top of Gavin’s, over where he was nervously rubbing at his own thighs. When Gavin made no attempt to pull away, when all he did was look down at their hands, Nines slowly intertwined their fingers, squeezing ever so gently, as though offering some sort of silent support until he could actually fucking speak.

A part of him had to genuinely push down the need to ask why the fuck Nines was being so nice to him. Was it because of what happened? The fire? Was it because the last time they had spoken, Gavin had stitched Nines up despite the fact he kinda sorta maybe held him at gunpoint… twice & because of that, the man felt like he owed him?

Was it because Nines had an ulterior motive just like he always did? Was there anything more to the touch, or was he simply holding his hand because he  _ wanted  _ to?

The constant second-guessing. It was fucked up that Gavin had to question such a simple touch.

After swallowing the lump in his throat as he glanced over the ledge, then to their hands, then back to Nines’ ice-cold eyes, Gavin murmured, “I’ll tell you everything I know-”

“But, I-”

“No, shut the fuck up a sec-” Gavin quickly cut Nines off before he tried to tell him that he already knew Gavin was half a fucking tin can or before the man could intervene with anything that would distract him from what he had spent so fucking long repeating over & over again in his head just to get right at that very moment.

“-Take me to A9 Genetics. Get me to Amanda. Everything- Everything you got Cain t-to fucking torture me for? I’ll tell her everything.”

After a brief silence, one that consisted of Nines’ thumb gently rubbing along the side of Gavin’s hand as he finally said what he wanted to say for fucking months, it was finally broken by Nines asking one simple question in return.

_ “Why?” _

“Because I’m fucking done, Nines.” Gavin said with a heavy sigh, shaking his head as he glared at the man opposite. “I’m fucking done. With all of this. With Elijah, with Cyberlife, with fucking everything.”

“Am I included in that list of yours?” Nines asked, his expression unreadable with no hint of anything in his tone.

Gavin fell quiet at that. His temper that had been bubbling right beneath the surface had simmered right back down again as those words fell so softly from the gangster’s mouth. 

Despite the fact Gavin knew he should be wiser than to fall for Nines’ ways, he also knew he would over & fucking over again. Nines: master of making Gavin angry in seconds flat, only to de-escalate it just as quickly.

Through it all, whether Gavin wanted to admit it to himself or not, Nines had him wrapped around his little finger.

_ Yeah. You included. I’m done. _

“Awfuck, don’t ask me shit like that.” Gavin tried to laugh it off, but quickly realised that no laugh came out. So instead, he just looked up to meet Nines’ eyes with tears in his own.

_ Tell him you’re leaving Detroit. Alone. _

“I- Fuck, if you can leave all this shit behind? Then I got a passenger seat with your name on it.” Gavin whispered, giving in to all that Nines was  _ yet again  _ & leaned in a little closer to steal some of his body heat.

He knew it was a damn stupid offer, one that would never be taken by a fucking criminal. All of the man’s ties were to this city, both the illegal & otherwise.

But Nines was still wanted by the cops, they still thought he was the one to cause the fire; so maybe, just fucking maybe, they could start afresh somewhere new. 

Together.

No Gavin, no Richard. Just Red & Nines.

_ Fucking dumbass. Do you really fucking think that he’ll take you up on that offer? Do you honestly think that’s a good idea, after all you have put each other through? Can you spend five fucking minutes in a room together without trying to kill one another or fuck each other’s brains out-? Can you have something fucking norma- _

“Okay.” Nines’ soft voice completely snapped Gavin out of his spiraling thoughts. It had butterflies that he thought had been long since dead & gone, slowly revive & flap their wings in the pit of his stomach. 

“I can get you to Amanda. What’s the catch?” Nines continued before he could say anything.

Just as quickly as those butterflies were there, they were gone. Replaced with a strange sick feeling, as though Gavin knew he should be better than the words that were going to come out his mouth.

_ ‘What’s the catch?’ _

The one little detail that Gavin had not actively spoken of. The part of the deal that would be the make or break. The fine print that only a select few would read.

The return payment for the information that Gavin was offering up for A9’s taking.

“Cain.” Was all Gavin said in response.

A man as smart as Nines would be able to put two & two together. Even more so when Gavin finally took that brave moment to finally peer over the ledge & down to the floor. Down to the exact spot that he had landed all that time ago, his fingers furling tighter around Nines’ as though the man was his fucking lifeline.

Gavin wanted Cain. He wanted to face him. He wanted to _ kill  _ him. 

He wanted revenge.

After all, it was ultimately Cain’s fault that Gavin was here even having this conversation. Elijah might have been responsible for Emma’s death but Cain? He had set all of this off when he’d tortured Gavin all those months ago. 

Cain was the one to push him from that roof. Sure, Nines gave him the idea, but Cain was the perpetrator.

“Fine. But we do this right.”

By ‘do this right’, Nines meant they had to make a plan, one that would be solid enough to get Amanda to hand over Cain. Make sure what Gavin had to say would be good enough to please her.

So from there, the pair spent hours back to back sitting on that parking lot ledge, planning their best course of action & where they would go once it was done.

Repeatedly throughout their talk, Nines told Gavin that he wouldn’t be able to trust Amanda, that she was a snake & that he needed to be careful as there was no saying what would happen once she got the information she needed.

Amanda wanted Gavin dead for simply existing in the first place, so the chances of her changing their deal at the last second were rather high, but Gavin couldn’t find it in himself to care. After all, he was a man with nothing to lose & everything to gain. 

If the meeting went the way that he wanted it to, Cyberlife would have to handle a huge hindrance in their road to success with future projects, A9 Genetics would be able to rebuild themselves with Cyberlife technology & Cain would get exactly what he fucking deserved.

Gain had decided that he was going to tell Amanda about himself, despite the fact that it meant putting himself in imminent danger of being picked apart in an A9 testing lab somewhere.

He was to tell her about how he was half ‘android’, half human. 

Nines made the point that despite Gavin being utterly fascinating in that regard, it wouldn’t be enough to woo Amanda. Gavin saying ‘hey look what Cyberlife turned me into’ wouldn’t be enough for Amanda to hand over her own son for him to do as he pleased with.

Using Gavin as bait to show Amanda that it was possible to fuse human biology with the android anatomy wouldn’t be enough to satisfy what she wanted.

Amanda wanted to preserve her own knowledge & memory, not necessarily her own body, which was why she had made it her life’s mission to master the genetic science of cloning.

Sure, she had found out a way to create Nines, but she had yet to figure out how to put all of his memories into a new body. So, whether human or android, to Amanda, a body was just a body. It was useless if it didn’t have her knowledge.

Gavin needed something that she wouldn’t be able to refuse & Nines knew exactly what that thing could be.

There was Cyberlife technology not even Gavin had been told about.

There was Cyberlife technology that Nines had tortured & killed people for, yet only found out thanks to his infatuation with Gavin.

It was strange how the world worked.

Nines went on to explain that in the months Gavin was missing, at one point when things were more quiet, he had actively tried to search for Gavin the best he could given he was still trying to keep himself hidden away from cameras & cops.

Nines had used his assistant, Brittney, as his eyes & ears. He used her as a means to talk to those who knew Gavin, to gain information on his last seen whereabouts under the cover that she was a friend who was worried for him.

She had talked to Gavin’s neighbour, Yoko, to no avail, but had managed to ask Chris Miller, who did say that if there was someone Gavin would speak to when hiding away from everyone else, it might well be his psychiatrist. Because although Gavin had others who deeply cared for him, he wouldn’t want to burden them with his turmoil, but his therapist? Well that was what she was paid to do.

This led to Brittney meeting up with Chloe & no more than a few days later, Nines & his assistant both met up with Chloe once more in a more secured location.

Right as Nines entered the door, Chloe injected him with something into his neck before he had the chance to even know what the fuck was happening.

Gun drawn, demanding answers, Nines was quick to learn that when his assistant had met with Chloe the first time, Chloe had made a plan with her to bring Nines in under the pretense that she would be able to tell him where to find Gavin.

The reality of it though, was that Chloe needed Nines, to test Cyberlife technology that she  _ needed _ to know whether it worked or not. She claimed that she would be able to fix everything.

That she could use this technology to save countless people. So nobody else had to die so unnecessarily. 

Chloe explained that when Gavin was in Cyberlife months upon months ago, when Elijah had fitted him with his bionic arm, they injected Gavin with one of Cyberlife’s prototype inventions. Microscopic nanites. 

The nanites were to circulate through his body until they latched onto the brain & from there, they would send all of its input to a small data chip.

The idea was that if the chip then got put into a computer, all of the data that was relayed back to it would then get copied into a very convoluted code & from there, that code could be uploaded into an android body. It would give the android the personality, along with all of the memories, of the human that the nanites were latched onto.

A black box of a human’s very existence, of sorts.

The idea was that if Gavin ever died, then they would have the means to bring him back in a new body.

The only issue? The human _ had  _ to die before the chip could be activated, as it would hold every memory & moment up until the point of complete brain death.

Meaning Cyberlife could never test their prototypes as they’d need people willing to die on a  _ chance _ that they’d be brought back.

Every time Gavin ended up back in Cyberlife, they had saved his life, his brain had never died. 

Sure, there was a time where his heart had stopped beating after Elijah had given him the android arm due to complications with the thirium mixing with Gavin’s very human blood. But Elijah had fixed that issue too. After all, Gavin was his own personal pet fucking project.

“Jesus fucking Christ…” Gavin breathed out as he scrubbed at his face with his hands, interrupting Nines’ explanation in favour of needing a moment to process what the fuck it was that was being told to him.

The more he learned, the more he was growing so fucking sick of technology companies being so obsessed with extending human life in any way they possibly could.

It was fucked up.

“So… What you’re saying is- Is fucking Kamski has a back up plan if I die?! Wait… Shit…” Gavin babbled as he tried to wrap his head around everything. 

Nines just looked at him with an almost sympathetic look, but Gavin wasn’t even so sure the man knew how to feel that, or empathy for that matter. He sort of believed that when Amanda had made Nines, she forgot a few key ingredients in not making him a fucking egotistical psychopath.

An egotistical psychopath that Gavin was so goddamn drawn to.

Speaking of which, “Remember when you pushed me into the river?”

“To  _ save  _ you, Gavin.” Nines corrected. 

“Yeah, sure, whatever-” Gavin shook his head, because at this point, he did not have the fucking time to try to explain to a goddamn psychopath why that wasn’t saving his fucking life. So he brushed off Nines’ correction in favour of focusing on his moment of realisation instead.

“-After I got out, I woke up in Cyberlife. When, uh, when I opened my eyes, there was all this writing I could see. Like… In my head, I guess.” Gavin paused in favour of gesturing to his head as though that’d help. 

“Fuck, listen, it’s hard to explain. But I remember it saying ‘updating memory processors’ & some other shit too, like registering my name & shit… Ah fuck, was that those things?! Fuck- Fuck, there’s bug robots in my head?!”

Yet again, Gavin found himself scrubbing at his face with his hands, which was quickly followed up by a frustrated groan as he realised that the only person who could properly understand what the fuck he was talking about in regards to his mind palace was Joseph.

Right now he probably sounded fucking insane.

“My point is… You’re telling me that was fucking robots?! In my f-fucking head? Nines, I swear to god, I’m gonna kill him.” Gavin’s hands fell away so he could fix the man beside him with the dangerous look that sat in his ever glassy, dark green eyes. “Fucking, Elijah! I’m not a fucking test dummy!”

Nines seemed impassive at best at Gavin’s outburst, but still gave him the time he needed to process before eventually speaking up, “I suppose it would not serve to make you feel any better in knowing that they are, as you put it, ‘in my fucking head’ too?”

“Not really, no! Fuck, man, I really fucking _ hate _ this city!”

Once Gavin had finished mouthing off about how much he fucking despised Elijah, Detroit & Cyberlife & everything it stood for, once he was pressed back up against Nines’ side to leech some of his warmth, Nines continued to explain that Chloe needed to see if the technology would work.   


Simply put, she needed Nines to die.

Brittney hadn’t been told about that part of the deal when she agreed to leading Nines to Chloe.

That was the moment that Nines realised Brittney had known about Chloe’s plan the whole time & had lured him there under false pretenses.

That was the moment he realised that Chloe had no clue where Gavin was.

Everyone knew what happened to those who went against Nines, those who lied, who fractured his loyalty & a trust that he didn’t easily dish out all that lightly. 

Everyone knew, especially Brittney.

After all, he did kill a whole team of people all because they pulled him out of the river & didn’t let him pull Gavin out afterwards.

Why was it that whenever it came to Gavin, Nines got so fucking trigger happy?

“-Nines… You didn’t-” Gavin sighed out, sounding somewhat exasperated over being afraid or angry. “-You… You killed your own assistant?!”   
  
_ Holy fucking shit, he really is a really, really terrible fuckin’ person.  _

At this point in their night long conversation, the sun was slowly beginning to rise, painting the sky in a mix of blues & oranges. Most of the time they saw one another, the sky was always such a beautiful array of colours, as though mocking Gavin for how beautiful the world could be, when all it dished out to him was brutal cruelty.

Gavin almost hadn’t realised that they had been talking about all of this, sitting on that abandoned parking lot ledge for  _ that  _ long. But time really did fly when Gavin was with Nines, so perhaps he shouldn’t have been so surprised.

“She lied to me.” Nines stated a little too bluntly with a cold look in his eye, as though he had absolutely no remorse for what he had done. Gavin would have been convinced too, but he was so sure he knew the man better. 

Or maybe he was just fooling himself into thinking that he was better than that. Maybe Gavin was fooling himself into believing that as Nines tilted his head to divert his gaze, as he longingly looked towards the sunrise, that he was actually remorseful, actually upset that he let his anger fuel his actions.

“She told me Dr. Artei could help me find you. She lied.”

“I-Is Chlo-?”

“I wouldn’t take her from you, if that is what you’re asking. Even if she deserves it for letting _ this  _ happen-” As Nines said ‘this’, he gestured to his face, a flash of anger passing through his features for just barely a second, but as quickly as it was there, it was gone.

The side of Gavin that was still so deeply tied to his cop roots wanted to reprimand Nines, to scream in his face, to do  _ something, _ but it’d just be hypocritical considering all of this was a means for him to get to Cain, to ruin Elijah. 

Gavin would be a hypocrite & a fool to think that he somehow had some moral high ground over Nines.

So he kept to himself & their plan was set.

They covered everything that was to be said, everything that was to happen & what Nines would do to keep Gavin safe if Amanda tried anything.

The man genuinely sounded like he had Gavin’s back, that he didn’t want Gavin getting hurt. That, if Amanda did somehow break their deal & try anything with Gavin, he would find a way to save him.

That he wouldn’t leave him behind.

By the time the sun had completely risen, they had shared a box of cigarettes between them & at one point, Gavin ended up lying on his back with his head in Nines’ lap, reminiscent of the time they had sat together on the roof of Gavin’s old apartment building.

It was one of those moments of tranquility between them, those moments of absolute calm. Which, always seemed to come at the expense of Gavin’s fear of fucking heights.

“I missed this.” Gavin admitted, to which Nines almost instantly replied with, “Me too.”

As Gavin tiredly stared up at the man who was looking down back at him with ever cool & icy eyes, he momentarily forgot about all of the bad shit. Forgot about everything that happened between them, between everything else that was hellbent on seeing Gavin fall down & not get back up. For a moment, he could pretend that he was just a man with his boyfriend, watching a sunrise.

But it was just that; pretend.

The duo had taken Gavin’s car given its changed plates & had taken the long route towards the A9 company building, purely out of both being highly paranoid about anybody spotting them. Eventually though, they made their way into the underground parking lot & Gavin parked in the free spot that was as close to the elevator as he could get.

On the drive there, Nines had made the call to Amanda, talking in a hushed murmur down the phone as he explained everything, saying he had found ‘Detective Reed’ & that he had information that she would not be able to pass up. He then explained that all he wanted in return was Cain.

Of course, Amanda agreed. After all, she despised her sons with every fibre of her being. They were nothing but a means to an end for her & if she could throw them under the bus to get what she wanted, then she would just as so it was worth it. It really was as simple as that.

She was definitely not earning any parent of the fucking year award.

It was only when they were heading into the building that it dawned on Gavin that he wasn’t exactly best dressed for a fucking meeting with a CEO of a company. Or, y’know, the mother of his sort-of-not-really boyfriend.

Never in a million years would he have expected his ‘meet the parents’ experience to go anything like this. 

Standing beside Nines, Gavin was a fucking mess. He was sporting his tight-ish, almost black jeans & worn down sneakers, along with one of his favourite grey, pullover hoodies. His jacket tugged over the top of that too.

Always wearing so many layers, hiding himself from the world, as though putting as much protection between his bare skin & everyone’s prying eyes as he possibly could.

His facial hair was outgrown, his eyes were tired & the bags beneath them were so heavy. Great way to look when everyone else was dressed to the fucking nines. No pun intended.

Once they were out of the elevator & inside the building, Gavin flexed his fingers nervously before stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets, having to resist the mighty urge that was tugging at his insides, telling him to run the fuck away. Telling him to use the excuse of needing a cigarette & never showing back up again.

The only thing keeping him from bolting out of the door was the thought of ruining Elijah & the fucked up satisfaction that twisted in his gut along with it. He knew that if he backed down now, then Elijah would get away with everything.

That thought alone was enough to have him drawing in deep breaths to keep himself calm. He nibbled on his lip as they made their way through the corridor of the third floor, through some swanky fucking glass doors & into a meeting room where Amanda was already stood. 

It was sleek & clean, little geometric shapes patterned across the one way tinted windows. Anyone in the building could watch the world pass them by from any floor, but from the outside, every window just looked like a mirror.

The woman was wearing a white dress that clung tight to her body, her hands clasped neatly behind her back as she watched out of the floor to ceiling windows that faced a rather large park, shadowed with trees that had leaves slowly growing back after being lost to the winter.

Gavin could see now where Nines got his perfect fucking posture from.

As he took a few steps closer, Nines lingered by the door, causing Gavin to pause, turn slightly on his heel to fix him with a look that basically said, ‘Hey, Dickhead, why did you stop?’

All he got in return was Nines ticking his head slightly as he raised his brows, indicating for Gavin to go on.

Before he had the chance to even take another step, Amanda’s voice filled the room, echoing around it ever so slightly. “Do you always ask for my son’s permission before doing something?”

_ Bitch. _

He could also see where Nines got his fucking attitude from.

Gavin rolled his eyes, but before anything could leave his mouth that he may regret, he bit his tongue. Instead, he just marched his way over to Amanda, grateful that his hips were not fucking with him at that moment, so that meant he didn’t have to stifle a fucking limp.

He took his right hand from his pocket & held it out for her to shake, “Gavin Reed. Or… Kamski, if you prefer.” Miraculously, his voice didn’t shake when he spoke that god forsaken name.

Slowly, Amanda turned to face him, her hands slowly falling from behind her back as she looked down at where Gavin was holding out his hand. She studied it for a moment, as though deciding whether she should shove him away for daring to offer such a thing before she eventually took his hand & shook it with a firm grip. “I know who you are. No need for pleasantries.”

“Right.” Gavin nodded. After shaking her hand, he pulled his way & immediately went back to stuffing his hand into his pocket. He glanced to the meeting table that they likely wouldn’t sit at, then back to Amanda.

The woman just… studied him. A lot like how Nines would. Dark eyes watching his every motion, as though picking them all apart to see if there was anything more interesting lying beneath that she could get her hands on.

She _ scared _ him.

_ ‘No need for pleasantries.’ _

“I, uh, I assume that you know Nines didn’t set that fire six months ago?” Gavin began with rather than wasting his time with any fucking small talk. He supposed the best place to start would be with RK.

Amanda just fixed him with an unreadable look, her eyes flickering to Nines, who was still standing near the doorway, as though he were ready to bolt at any moment. Or perhaps he was standing guard. Gavin couldn’t be sure. He was never fucking sure when it came to the Wolf family. 

“You have proof of this?”

“Yeah- Well, not really, but kinda.”

Amanda’s eyes slowly drew back to Gavin’s, narrowing into a glare as she spoke in a rather short tempered tone, “Please, do not waste my precious time.”

Jesus fucking Christ, they were all just as impatient as each other.

Gavin rolled his eyes yet again & didn’t even bother trying to stop himself as he muttered in an irritated voice, “Look, lady, are you gonna let me fuckin’ show you what I have to say? Or are you just gonna keep looking at me like I’m nothin’ but filth, huh?"

_ “Gavin.”  _ He heard Nines sternly say from across the room, in that warning tone he used right before twisting a situation up to pin the fault on Gavin.

It was as though Nines was somehow offended by him being so blunt. But Gavin liked to think that he knew Nines enough just by the conversation they had the night prior, that he knew deep down, that Nines was fighting off a smirk, that he liked the fact Gavin wasn’t about to take shit from Amanda simply because she thought she was somehow better than he was. 

“I can stand up for myself, thank you, Son.” Amanda quipped, her tone anything but kind before bringing her full attention back to Gavin, waiting not so patiently for him to actually get to the fucking point.

“Behind closed doors, Cyberlife has been trying to combine humans with androids. They originally wanted to make prosthetic limbs that could be connected by the nerves, so the wearer could have full control & feeling. They put a shit ton of money into that, but they gave up when they only had one semi-successful case.”

“How do you know? Do you have proof of Cyberlife having such capabilities?”

With a deep breath, having to swallow around the lump in his throat, Gavin murmured, “I’m the proof. I’m the one they tested it all on. I’m the only…  _ almost _ successful case. That’s how I’m still alive.”

Gavin was living goddamn proof of just how far Cyberlife were willing to take their maniacal ways.

After muttering, ‘hold on a sec’, Gavin made his way over to Nines, hands slowly coming up to rest over the buttons on the man’s waistcoat.

He paused for a moment, looking up to those eyes as though silently asking for approval. When all Nines did was cock a curious brow, when he made no attempt to pull away & simply nodded, Gavin unbuttoned the top button of his waistcoat. Nines stayed still as he ever so slowly slid his hand along the inside.

In a voice that was a little raised so Amanda could hear, Gavin spoke up, “Y’see, the issue with that, is the chemical component that makes the bionic limbs work is Thirium 310, the same shit that runs through androids-”

For a moment, Gavin intentionally took the time to slide his hand over Nines’ chest, to feel the muscles that lay beneath his shirt. He couldn’t fucking help himself. The tiniest smirk that he earned from Nines was worth it.

There was a strange sort of high that came with holding the attention of the only people in the room. He could understand why Nines was so hooked on it as it fueled confidence in a way that cocaine could only ever wish it could do.

That didn’t mean he didn’t fucking despise it, though.

Grey eyes stayed staring down at Gavin, that tiny smirk having disappeared the moment it tugged at Nines’ lips & he returned to being completely stoic despite Gavin’s touches.

Gavin just momentarily smirked to himself & now that he was feeling a little bit better, he went back to the actual task at hand; reaching in to pull out that little butterfly knife that he knew damn well Nines always kept hidden in one of his pockets.

He also pinched the man’s waistcoat pocket square too.

“-So to get the limbs to work, they’d have to fuse the two together.” Gavin turned back to Amanda as he spoke, her eyebrows raised as she watched him closely.

After tucking the pocket square into his own pocket for the moment, Gavin made his way back to her as he held both hands up, the knife held against his palm using his thumb to show that he meant no harm.

Slowly, Gavin flicked the blade open with flawless precision & cut his palm on his right hand, holding it up for Amanda to see as purple blood pooled out from the wound. It trickled down his hand, slowly slipping down his wrist & getting caught on the cuff of his sweater. “It caused no end of problems.”

“Impossible.” Amanda breathed out, her eyes fixated on the blood for a long while before they finally flickered back to Gavin’s face. It was only when she was done staring that Gavin flipped the blade closed & slipped it into his jacket, replacing it with the pocket square. 

“You say they had to change your very blood type just to keep a prosthetic working?”

“Pretty much.” Gavin sighed out with a half shrug. Considering Amanda was fucking terrifying & he was straight up going against every NDA he had ever signed, he thought was holding his ground relatively well. 

“What limb?”

“Wha- Oh. Uh… It’s a bit more complex than that.”

Amanda stepped up a little closer, as though inspecting a fucking inanimate object rather than a living, breathing  _ almost  _ human. When she only gave him the same ‘explain more’ look that Nines gave him without saying anything, Gavin held out his left hand to her after tucking the bloodied pocket square away.

He grit his teeth together as he let the nanites recede back to reveal the gunmetal grey, carbon fibre patterned chassis beneath.

Funny how he kept this all so secret from everyone for as long as he could, yet now, he had shared it with, bar Joseph, all of the wrong people.

“It- uh- They also replaced-” All of Gavin’s confidence had completely fallen away now he was on show. He felt like a fucking dumbass, a spectacle to be poked & prodded. His anxieties were creeping up on him, his doubts crawling out, getting ready to wrap their hands around his ankles & drag him beneath the currents.

Amanda had taken his left hand, carefully inspecting & turning it over so she could look along the palm. She even went as far as to push his jacket & sweater sleeves up so she could inspect his wrist too. She didn’t seem to care about the fact that he was clearly about to have a panic attack right in front of her face. “Where is it attached?”

“Oh, uh, near my shoulder. They- Uh- Cyberlife had to replace my spine, too. A-along with my hips & one of my legs. My heart's pure tech & there’s also some in my brain.” Gavin finally managed to force out, despite the way his voice shook & he stumbled over his words.

He was finally, fucking finally trying to get to the point. The technology in his head was the reason for this whole fucking charade, this goddamn show & fucking tell.

Either Nines could tell that he was on the verge of breaking down, or he couldn’t stand the secondhand embarrassment, but he made his way over & ever so gently rested a hand on Gavin’s lower back.

“Mother-” 

“Let the man speak for himself.” Amanda spat rather icily, only drawing her eyes from Gavin’s hand to shoot her son a glare so cold, Gavin was sure she could freeze someone to their very core with just that look alone.

When Gavin stayed quiet, ever so slightly leaning back into Nines for the only sense of comfort he was going to find, Amanda asked, “You mentioned the fire earlier. What has this to do with anything?”

“I’m getting to that point.” Gavin murmured, glancing to his hand as he focused for a moment on getting the nanites to cover his chassis up once again. Only then did Amanda let go. If he were not mistaken, she looked almost disappointed over the fact he was hiding away again.

Good.

“So- Cyberlife realised that what they had done to me wasn’t worth the money, not with all of the complications.” Gavin began, much calmer now he had Nines right behind him, the man’s hand still resting on his lower back, acting as some sort of anchor to keep Gavin grounded.

“They scrapped that idea & just released androids. Or at least, they put the idea on hold until they could perfect it. I guess selling androids was the cheaper option that’d make the most money. Look, what we all saw on the news? Of the fire? It was an android. Not your son.”

“You expect me to believe that? My son has caused nothing but issues for this company, he is just like his siblings-”

“Would you listen to me?!” Gavin interrupted her once again, his anger bubbling. If he had to stand there & listen to Amanda accuse Nines of the one fucking thing that he actually had no part of, Gavin was going to tear his goddamn hair out.

“Excuse yo-”

“-You want to clone yourself!” Gavin spat, knowing it was the only thing that would shut her up, desperate to get his fucking point across now. Perhaps it was his earlier nerves still crawling around beneath his skin, but he felt the need to get the fuck out of there soon.

In a much more calm voice, Gavin tried again, “Nines told me that you want to preserve your mind, right? Your knowledge or some shit? Well, that’s what I’ve been trying to fucking tell you this whole time. I-I’m so shit with words, but I’m telling you Cyberlife tech has the answer.”

Finally, Gavin got to his point. He explained to her that on top of all the technology & augments he had running through him, he also had microscopic nanites in his brain. Little fucking robots backing up every single thought & memory so that when he died, his existence would be preserved until reactivated in an android body. 

Explaining that made an uncomfortable itch crawl down his spine, as though it only just dawned on him that Cyberlife were genuinely capable of fucking doing that.

He made a mental note to find wherever the fuck that chip his memories were being relayed back to was, so he could destroy it before Cyberlife tried to bring him back yet again. When Gavin died? He wanted to stay fucking dead.

“-You expect me to just… Believe you? You think you can just wow me with your arm & blood, then expect me to believe that Cyberlife have simply mastered what I have not?”

Fuck, was she even more egotistical than Nines. Gavin didn’t even think that was possible.

Once more, Gavin found himself biting his tongue before he spewed something cruel to Amanda about how there was a reason why Cyberlife were so successful & A9 Genetics were not.

Before he could actually find something to say back, Nines beat him to the punch. “Mother, if you do not believe him, then at least believe me when I say that I too, have that technology in me. Think about it, combine that with Cyberlife’s ability to create android replicas of people? You can have what you have always wanted.”

For a moment, Amanda looked in deep thought, her attention switching from looking at Gavin, to looking at Nines before she eventually nodded, it being quickly followed up with, “You can get me this technology?”

_ No. _

“Yes.” Both men simultaneously lied so fucking easily before glancing to one another, both sporting the faintest of smirks that were wiped clean off of their faces before they looked back to Amanda.

“Good. Once I have it, I can give you what you wish.”

There it was.

Gavin should have fucking known she was going to change the deal. Nines had told him that he wouldn’t be able to fucking trust her.

“Hold the fuck up- That wasn’t our deal. I told you everything I know, now you hold up your end of the bargain!” Gavin spoke bitterly, perhaps with a little too much hostility in his voice, but he had told her everything. Fucking everything.

“Gavin. We’re leaving.  _ Now _ .” Nines murmured against his ear, to which Gavin just shoved him back slightly with a shake of his head as he spat back, “No, not until I get what I fucking came for!”

“And you will get your end of the bargain, Mr.  _ Reed.  _ Just as soon as that technology is in my hands. You do understand why I wouldn’t simply allow you to have what you want on nothing more than your word, correct?”

He could tell she was so carefully choosing her words, leaving absolutely nothing that could implicate her for what their deal entailed.

“Can’t believe I fucking trusted you.” Gavin shook his head with a vacant laugh that was almost working as a way for him to get some of his anger out without completely blowing up or getting violent. “You’re just as bad as fucking Elijah.”

“Do  _ not  _ compare me to that pathetic excuse of a CEO.” Amanda’s voice was all warning. “I think it’s best you leave now. I will be awaiting your call, Gavin. I will hold my end of our bargain.”

With an irritated grunt in replacement of a ‘goodbye’, Gavin turned on his heel & just like that, headed towards the door. He supposed that despite the fact he had no goddamn clue how to get that fucking technology to Amanda, at least she now had knowledge on what Cyberlife had done with Gavin. Information that she could do with whatever she damn well pleased. Both he & Nines knew that she would use it as a means to fuck with Elijah, even if it was only to put a dent in his armour. But it was a start.

Nines caught up with him in a few quick strides & it was only when they were across the room, Nines holding the glass door open for him that Gavin muttered in a hushed tone so only the man beside him could hear, “Guess we better fuckin’ talk to Chloe, huh?”

“Yes. But we will get you what you want, Red.” Nines paused, turning slightly, getting ready to speak to his mother one last time before they left. Before he did, however, he tipped his head, leaning in to whisper in Gavin’s ear, “Then we’ll leave Detroit. That’s a pro-”

He never got to make his promise.

Right as Nines went to make that it, right as he turned to face his mother, a suppressed pistol shot echoed throughout the room that so easily carried their murmured voices. Despite the suppressor, that all too clear sound bounced around like a cruel fucking joke.

It wasn’t enough to hear the shot once, but to hear it’s echo over & fucking over until it faded out.  _ That made fear settle in Gavin’s stomach. _

Nines’ body collided back against Gavin’s side, Gavin spinning around right as he heard the shot & felt Nines’ body against his.

_ No. _

_ No, no. Oh fuck, fuck, shit! _

Nines’ hands flew up to press over the upper left side of his chest, ducking his head to look down at them with an audible swallow as his full weight slumped against Gavin beside him.

“Well… Shit.” He heard Nines murmur beneath his breath as his legs buckled.

“Nines?!” Gavin’s arms looped around the man’s body, clutching it as his full weight was pressed against him, causing Gavin’s knees to buckle. He sank to the ground in the glass doorway with Nines in his arms, the gangster looking up at him with glassy eyes. Like the glaciers that kept them so frozen were slowly melting, the water pooling in them, only to inevitably slip down his cheeks.

“What the fuck did you do?!” Gavin bellowed as he looked up at Amanda, then back down to the man in his arms, pressing one hand over the top of Nines’, applying as much pressure as he could to try to stem the bleeding. “Ah fuck… Fuck, you’re gonna be fine, you p-piece of shit, you hear me?”

His other hand slipped beneath Nines’ waistcoat so he could wrap his fingers around the handle of that golden trim pistol he kept in his shoulder holster beneath there. Nines’ glassy eyes narrowed as he felt what Gavin was doing.

“Oh, did I not make myself clear?” Amanda’s cold tone filled the room as she slowly unscrewed the silencer off of the end of the pistol, placing it neatly on the table. “I only want you to bring me technology that works. Consider this incentive, your first test subject.”

“You psychopathic f-fucking bitch!” Gavin spat with as much venom as he could muster. “What makes you think I’ll bring you anything now?!”

It was only when Amanda slotted the pistol back into a small compartment beneath the meeting table that they never fucking sat at, that Gavin’s eyes returned to Nines’, his hand moving from the gangster’s pistol to instead press over his other hand to apply even more pressure.

“Oh, you will.” Was all Amanda replied with, but Gavin could hear the threat that was in that tone, as though she was leaving him with no other choice.

He fucking knew she was being too kind. Too fucking patient.

He fucking knew he should have listened to Nines.

“C’mon… C’mon, we gotta- We gotta get you to a hospital, Nines, c’mon.” Gavin babbled as he mustered up as much strength as he could, tears already streaming down his face as he hoisted both himself & Nines up off the floor, despite the way the man cried out in pain at being so suddenly moved.

He pulled Nines’ arm around his shoulders, holding it at the wrist with one hand, his other arm around the man’s lower back as he wasted absolutely no time in practically having to fucking drag the gangster towards the elevator. “Y-You stubborn fucking asshole, you’re gonna be fine, y’hear me?”

“Do not disappoint me Gavin, or you will not live to see your end of the bargain come to fruition.” Amanda called out after him. Gavin was just about to bite back when Nines cut him off with a cough.

“G-Gav-” Nines managed before he cut himself off with another cough. His hand that was pressed to his chest fell away as blood spluttered down his chin, tears also slipping down the man’s cheeks at the harshness of the action.

Fuck.

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck! _

Gavin dragged Nines into the elevator, jabbing his bloodied finger against the button that’d take them to the parking garage over & over until the elevator doors shut, beginning to descend. A bloodied smear was left across the button as Gavin pulled away his hand.

He grabbed Nines’ own, pressing it back against the bullet wound before sliding his arm once more around the man’s lower back to support him. He held him so fucking tightly against himself as he desperately muttered, “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon” to the elevator as though that’d make it hurry the fuck up.

He felt Nines’ nose nudge against his jaw, the man pressing himself closer as he planted a kiss to Gavin’s jaw then to his cheek, leaving a bloodied outline of his lips behind.

“I-I told you, Red.” Nines murmured close to his ear & Gavin could hear how with every breath Nines took, was tangled in with a wheeze. That was enough of an indicator alone that the bullet must have punctured his lung. “C-Couldn’t trust her.”

Even after being shot, he still felt the need to be a smug prick.

“I f-fucking know, alright?!” Gavin snapped back with a little too much hostility, dragging Nines out of the elevator as soon as the doors were open. He had to pause in favour of hoisting Nines up a little again, earning another pained sound that was quickly eaten up by a sharp cough & more blood spluttering out of his lips.

As he coughed, Gavin walked them towards his car & didn’t even realise that he was breathing deeply in through his nose then out through his mouth in the hopes of making Nines mimic it. It was just like what Tina, Joseph & Chloe had done with him; rather than pointing out his panicked breaths, they’d breath in a way that’d have him following.

He made quick work of opening the passenger side of his car, shoving Nines down into the seat, not even bothering to buckle him in before he slammed the door & rushed around to the driver’s side.

Once in & having pulled out of the parking lot, Gavin phoned 911 despite the warning glares he was receiving from the man beside him over the thought of going to a hospital. He frantically told them which hospital he was heading towards & that he’d be there in twenty minutes tops. 

Nines didn’t have the time to wait for a fucking ambulance.

After hanging up, Gavin dropped his phone into his lap, glancing constantly at Nines, then back to the road again. He shrugged off his jacket, the act of which was a small miracle in itself because it was lucky that Gavin didn’t crash the fucking car & he bundled it up. He leaned over to press it to the gunshot wound & maneuvered Nines’ hands so he was holding it in place.

That action alone had him having to force down the memories from months ago. When he had done the same thing in the hopes of trying to save his daughter’s life.

This world sure was adamant on taking people away from him.

“Y’know-” Nines piped up from where he was slumped to the side against the window, blood drenched hands holding Gavin’s jacket to his chest as he peered over at the man in question. His pale skin had beads of sweat forming from the effort it took not to cough. Tears dampened his cheeks & blood slipped down his chin, slowly seeping out of the corners of his lips.

Gavin heard the man audibly swallow. 

“Y’know, I-I never said- I never said I was sorry.” Nines eventually managed to rasp out.

Gavin pressed his foot down harder on the gas, running red light after red light. He barked out a hollow, nerve filled laugh, using the back of his hand to push his hair off his forehead.

Green eyes flickered to Nines, then back to the road. “For what, huh? For torturing me, well, letting Cain torture me? For lying to me for f-fucking months? For bugging my car? For stalking me, which, by the way, I-I know you did-” Gavin looked back at Nines again, “Need me t-to fucking continue?”

“For-” Nines visibly swallowed the blood that was pooling in his mouth, some of it seeping out of the corner of his lips, joining the trail that the rest had left. “-For not b-being there, when, y’know-”

“I know.” Gavin spat with a shake of his head. Out of all of the things Nines had done, out of all of the manipulative cruelty he had dished out, the one thing he was apologetic for was not being by Gavin’s side when he buried his daughter. When he grieved. 

He was apologetic for the one fucking thing that wasn’t his fault. 

“Took you nearly dying to apologise & you ain’t even apologising for th-the right fuckin’ thing.” Gavin muttered beneath his breath, but he knew damn well that Nines could hear it, even over the sound of his wheezing breaths that were getting heavier & heavier the harder it became to breathe.

Gavin bit at his lower lip as he swerved around a corner with so much speed that the tail end of his car struggled to grip the road, leaving tire marks behind in the process.

He didn’t care. The more Nines coughed, the more he wheezed, the more he audibly tried to swallow around the blood that kept pooling in his throat; the more Gavin’s anxieties were overtaking every goddamn nerve in his body.

“R-Red?”

When Gavin didn’t reply, Nines rasped out, “I-I can’t-  _ Red?” _

“What?!” 

Nines huffed out what was almost a laugh at Gavin’s anger, but it divulged into yet another cough, one that had him hunching over in his seat, desperately trying to pull in what pathetic amount of air he could, his glasses falling into his lap in the process.

He was slowly suffocating on his own blood.

He was going to tell Gavin that he couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Breathe, you fucking asshole!” Gavin reached over so he could rub at Nines’ back between his shoulder blades, tapping gently as to not cause too much pain to his overly sensitive body. Trying to help in any way he could while still speeding down the road at 60MPH.

His eyes flickered up to the road, swerving ever so slightly out of the way of another car when he drifted into the oncoming lane, nervously switching glances from the road to Nines, but the man just kept coughing. Every time he tried to inhale, he’d wretch, quickly choke & would cough all over again.

Nines had one hand clawing at his collar, as though that’d in any way help, his other hand gripping his own thigh so tightly that his knuckles were turning white, skin pulled taut over them. 

He was going to choke on his own fucking blood right then & there if Gavin didn’t do something.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Gavin pulled the car over into a slight back road, hopping out & jogging around to the passenger side. He flung the door open & helped Nines sit up straight, using the sleeve of his sweater to wipe away the mucus, blood, phlegm & spit that was dripping down from his lips.

He didn’t think twice as he pinched Nines’ nose & chin. He didn’t think twice as he drew in a deep breath & he didn’t think twice as he pressed his lips to his, forcing air into Nines’ airways, forcing his lungs to take it in. He did that three more times despite the tears that were falling down Nines’ cheeks at the agony of having Gavin forcefully making him breathe before he finally pulled back.

He cupped Nines’ face as the man spluttered a little more before swallowing, that being enough to have him swallow the build up of fluid that was in his throat & eventually dropping his head back against the headrest as his chest heaved, tired eyes never leaving where he was watching Gavin’s every move.

Nines’ skin was so pale & every time he blinked, it was just that bit slower than the last.

“Ga-”

“Don’t try to speak. Save your breath.” Gavin murmured, his tone far softer than how hostile he was just a few moments ago. He used his other sleeve to wipe his own mouth before he gently ran a hand through Nines’ unruly, long since out of place hair. 

Throughout it all, Gavin had been performing scan after scan on Nines’ body, keeping his stress levels, oxygen intake & heart rate in the corner of his vision. He pulled over knowing full well that there was no way Nines was going to stop coughing unless he interfered. 

For a moment, he contemplated performing an emergency cricothyroidotomy, but he doubted a butterfly knife & a ballpoint pen would have done the trick even with Gavin’s mind palace. He probably would have missed the right spot & slit the fucker’s throat accidentally instead.

Nines drew in a short breath through his nose, his teeth visibly grit together by the squareness of his jaw to try to force himself not to cough anymore. One of his shaking hands came up to rest on Gavin’s cheek, leaving a bloody handprint there, the bloody lip mark on the other.

Gavin brought a hand up to gently rest over Nines’ that was on his cheek, his other hand carding through the gangster’s hair again. Nines couldn’t speak without triggering a cough, but Gavin could see a sort of softness in that cold gaze as he stared at him, a sort of awe in those steel eyes.

“I fucking hate you so much. I hate you! Nines? D-don’t do this to me… Please don’t d-do this.” Gavin practically clambered onto the man’s lap after picking up his glasses & placing them back where they belonged on his face; with one knee between Nines’ knees on the seat, sort of straddling one of Nines’ thighs, his other leg still outside of the car.

Nines’ hand fell away from his face, smearing blood all down his cheek as Gavin cupped both of his cheeks, swiping his thumbs beneath the man’s eyes to wipe the tears away as Nines slowly blinked, his shallow breaths slowing with every passing second.

“I-I… I know.” He heard Nines whisper in a voice so hoarse, it was barely there at all & if it were not for Gavin’s upgraded hearing, he would have missed it completely.

Just like every other time Gavin had uttered those three little words, Nines always said the same two back. Time & time again, without fail.

“C’mon, don’t- Nines, I-I just got you back, I just- I just…” He had no clue what he was even trying to say. Something. Anything. He had lost too much already; Nines was supposed to be the one who was too fucking stubborn to die. He was supposed to be-

“Nines?” Gavin’s hands dropped from his cheeks to his shoulders, staring at that chest that wasn’t rising or falling anymore. Staring at-  _ No. _

_ No! _

“Nines, p-please!” Gavin begged as he shook the man’s shoulders, as though that’d do anything to bring him back. 

Silver eyes stared blankly at his face. Silver eyes with nothing left in them.

He desperately scanned over his body, once, twice, three fucking times, trying to find any sign of life, any sign that this was not fucking it. This was not how the notorious fucking Nines went out.

They were supposed to go out together. They were supposed to take down Cyberlife, they were supposed to run away. They were supposed go out in a rain of fucking bullets. 

It wasn’t supposed to be like  _ this. _

“I-I just got you b-back, dammit!” Gavin yelled in the man’s face, punching him in the chest, then again, then again until holding back his sobs became too much effort & in turn, his punches became too weak.

A shaky hand came up to lift those glasses momentarily to close those eyes as he couldn't f ucking handle having them stare at him any longer.

He couldn’t fucking do it. 

“Fuck you!” Gavin yelled angrily, shoving Nines’ lifeless body one last time before he crumpled right against the gangster’s chest. Gavin’s forehead dropped to the man’s shoulder & his mouth fell open into a silent scream.

Gavin’s hands fisted in the fabric of Nines’ blood drenched waistcoat, tears falling down his face & getting lost in the fabric of Nines’ shirt as he sobbed into the man’s shoulder, clutching onto him desperately. 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Nines was supposed to say something. He was supposed to have some famous last fucking words, something snobbish & obnoxious, he was supposed to say anything. Anything other than ‘I know’ in response to an ‘I hate you’.

Perhaps that’s what hurt the most.

That a man like Nines went out with nothing but a whimper when he deserved so much more.


	16. Behind Blue Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin has to lie to his father figure in order the protect the woman who shot his boyfriend. Not only that, but he knew that it'd only be a matter of time before he contacted Chloe to beg for help in bringing Nines back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being longer than I expected it to be, but I hope that you enjoy it nonetheless!  
> Only a few more chapters left & I'm going to try to get them edited & uploaded as soon as I can. This story has been so long in the works, there's something a little bittersweet about the ending being so close T.T

_‘We all make choices, but in the end, our choices make us.’_

_~ Andrew Ryan, 1960_

He’s gone.

No goodbye, no fuck you, no ‘hey I guess we aren’t getting that fucking date’.

Nothing.

Just… Nothing.

If Gavin was going to be honest with himself, he always thought he was the one who was going to die first. He always thought that he’d jump in front of a bullet & die in Nines’ arms. Or maybe something would go wrong in Cyberlife. He always thought he’d die saving someone’s life, that he’d die a hero.

Gavin always thought he was going to die before he was old, he had grown comfortable with that thought; but what he hadn’t prepared for, what he hadn’t spent hours upon hours thinking about on his insomnia riddled nights, was that he’d be the one to outlive those he cared most about.

Not once did it pass Gavin’s mind that perhaps he would be the one to live through it all. Not once did he think he would cheat death time after time. It was like he & the reaper were both playing a goddamn game, but both were too stubborn to lose. 

The reaper would constantly try to catch up with him, but time & time again, Gavin would beat her.

It wasn’t fair.

Gavin wasn’t entirely sure just how long he had been curled up on Nines’ lap, sobbing against his chest, parked on that back road for. He wasn’t sure how nobody had walked past & noticed a man crying against a dead fucking body. He wasn’t sure about much of anything anymore.

He had his phone gripped so fucking tightly in his blood covered hand, staring down at it through bleary vision. All he could do was watch as his list of contacts got progressively more warped & blurry with the more tears that fell down his cheeks.

He needed to call someone.

But Gavin had dug his own fucking grave by ghosting those closest to him for months on end. So showing back up with the body of one of Detroit’s most wanted? Yeah, that wasn’t exactly going to look good.

Hank would try to be there for him, but would question whether or not what Gavin was saying was the truth; sure, he was basically his dad, but he was also a fucking police lieutenant. Tina would do anything to keep Gavin as distanced from it all as possible & quite frankly, he didn’t have the heart to think about how Joseph would react.

He needed to call Chloe. He needed to fix this, to fix all of this. He needed to at least fucking try.

A part of Gavin wanted to convince himself that it wasn’t his right to call her. That it wasn’t his right to decide who got to live & who got to die. That it wasn’t his fucking place to play God.

But all of this had happened because he wanted to get his revenge on Cain while simultaneously hitting Elijah where it hurt.

Gavin could try to convince himself that he was nothing like his brother, that he refused to slip into having a God complex like Elijah did, not after what Elijah had done to him time & time again.

Not when he knew how it felt to wake up when he so fucking wished he didn’t.

He wanted to believe that it wasn’t his place to make that choice for someone else, but Gavin also knew it’d only be a matter of time before he caved when he knew damn well that there was a _chance_ of bringing someone he cared about back.

 _“Fuck!”_ Gavin spat as he shoved those thoughts aside. He couldn’t fucking think straight, not right now. The lines between what was right or wrong were becoming too blurred, too jumbled together.

“Fuck this.” He muttered to himself, pulling his less dirty sleeve over one of his hands to wipe his cheeks & then his nose. He grit his teeth in the process to try to force himself to stop crying, to swallow down his emotions like a bitter fucking pill that didn’t want to stay down.

He wiped his phone screen on his jeans before shoving it back into his pocket. He couldn’t call them. He couldn’t _face_ them.

Not right now. He needed time.

Gavin drew in a deep, ever so shuddery breath as his blood stained hands shakily came up to feel over Nines’ pants pockets. Upon feeling they were empty, Gavin apologised ever so quietly to the man, like it fucking mattered, before unbuttoning the top button on his blood drenched waistcoat, checking his inner pockets for what he was looking for.

 _“Aha.”_ He breathed out once he found Nines’ phone, pulling it out & swiping open the screen.

Password locked. Of fucking course it was.

“Awfucking hell… I’m sorry, man, this ain’t right.” Gavin whispered, still refusing to raise his head to look at the man’s face. Instead, he carefully took Nines’ limp hand & after clumsily trying to wipe some of the blood away on his sleeve, he pressed the gangster’s thumb to the screen.

Thankfully, it unlocked on the first fucking try. The translucent screen illuminated with the little geometric shapes that littered his phone background, similar to the design that was scrawled on the walls & windows of the A9 buildings.

 _That’s just fucking depressing,_ Gavin thought to himself bitterly as he navigated to Nines’ contact list, half of them just being listed as single number or letters. 

_Yeah, not fucking suspicious at all._

After way too fucking long of being confused as shit by Nines’ way of labeling his contacts & after being mildly amused that Gavin’s number was saved as ‘Red’ with a cat emoji, the man eventually came across a contact that was listed as ‘Not 60’.

The number had a little red plus icon beside it to indicate it was an ‘in case of emergency’ contact. 

It wasn’t the first time he had been the one to call the next of kin, to tell a family that he was investigating the murder of one of their relatives, but never had he had to do it when it came to someone he knew.

After clicking on the contact, in the note section beneath it said ‘Connor Wolf’. 

Bingo. 

For a split second, Gavin was going to look up & ask Nines why he was labelled as ‘Not 60’, as though for only a second, he forgot that Nines wouldn’t answer.

Gavin ever so shakily got out of his car, only for his knees to be too wobbly & he ended up sitting on the ground with his back leaning against the seat that Nines was still in. He ran a trembling hand through his hair, drew in a few deep breaths before biting the bullet & dialing the number.

It picked up after the second ring.

Before he could even open his mouth to speak, Connor’s voice filled the line, _“Nines? Where the fuck have you been, brother? It’s been months. A text at the very least would have been nice.”_

Gavin went to say something, but when he opened his mouth, he realised that he had no fucking clue what to say. It wasn’t exactly like he could start with a fucking ‘hello’. Every other time he had done this with strangers, he had always been so detached, so emotionless because he had to be. It was his job.

But this was different.

_“Nines? Are you in trouble?”_

Gavin swallowed thickly & drew in a sharp breath through his nose as he tried to shove all of those emotions down when he felt his eyes stinging with tears all over again. 

“C-Connor?”

_“Who is this?”_

“D-Do you remember six months ago, we met in the park, y-you said-”

_“Reed?”_

“Yeah… Y-You told me to call if I had contact with Nines…” _Of course he knows you had contact with Nines, you fucking idiot, you’re calling him from his phone._

Gavin let his sentence trail off upon realising how stupid it was. He hoped that Connor would be able to piece two & two together, would be able to finish his sentence for him, because quite frankly, he didn’t think he was strong enough.

He didn’t think he could make it through just a simple call without completely shattering.

Thankfully, Connor could hear that something wasn’t right. Gavin could already hear rustling, the sound of a coat being pulled on & the phone being moved from ear to ear. _“Where are you?”_

“C-Connor… He- He’s not-” Gavin cut himself off as he couldn’t help choking on a sob that he had tried so fucking hard to keep pushed down. 

_“Where are you, dammit?!”_

At the sudden raised voice, Gavin flinched ever so slightly, but through his fresh tears, he managed to get out the name of the back road he was parked on. But every single time he tried to say ‘he’s gone’, every time he tried to say ‘your brother was shot in the chest by your mother’, the words just got swallowed up by sobs & all Gavin managed to get out was, “I’m s-so fucking sorry.”

‘I’m sorry’.

Like he wasn’t so fucking sick of hearing those words when they were said to him, every single time something bad happened in his life. Which, was so fucking common that they had lost all meaning. Yet, here he was, saying them when no other words would come out.

Connor handled everything. 

By everything, Gavin meant _everything._

The first thing Connor did after hopping out of his car & jogging to where Gavin was still sitting after their phone call, was hoist him up by a fist balled in the front of his sweater. Then he threw a rather solid right hook right to Gavin’s cheekbone.

The pure anger that Gavin saw flash through the man’s face was so reminiscent of the anger that flashed through honey-brown eyes after he spat blood in Cain’s face while being held over that parking lot ledge. When he was tortured all those months & months ago.

It was fucking scary.

But as quickly as it was there, it was gone. Replaced with those brown eyes welling with tears as they flickered to the passenger seat of the car, then back to him. Connor shoved Gavin back after looking him up & down, anger morphing into sadness as he saw just how covered Gavin was in blood.

Gavin didn’t fight back. He considered the punch getting off pretty lightly in comparison to what he deserved considering this was all his fucking fault. Besides, it made them even after he wrongfully punched Connor all those months ago.

Once he had calmed down from his small outburst, Connor was so _clinical_ about everything.

He told Gavin to keep Nines’ phone so they could stay in contact. They swapped cars for the time being so they didn’t have to move Nines’ body in the middle of the street.

Gavin tried to say he could help, to let him fucking help, but Connor just brushed him off. After Gavin managed to get out the truth about what had happened, the man told him to go home & clean himself up. He told him that he’d notify the lieutenant that Gavin was so close to of what happened in his own way & sort everything else out.

“W-Wait… You- You know Hank?” Gavin asked dumbly as he stood there, feeling fucking useless with Connor’s Bentley car keys weighing heavily in his hand.

“Of course I do.” Connor muttered rather simply before adding, “It helps to have eyes & ears everywhere, Gavin, especially in this type of life.”

“I- Hank- Hank’s dirty?”

“Will that change how you see him as a father?”

“N-No…”

“Then why does it matter?”

“But-”

“Go home, Gavin. The Lieutenant will call you to the station soon enough.”

So that was exactly what happened. 

Gavin drove Connor’s fancy fucking Bentley back to his apartment that he had left vacant for months on end. He numbly made his way inside & straight to the bathroom. He didn’t even bother to pay any mind to the fact his apartment was still lived in, meaning Tina still spent time there occasionally, even while Gavin was gone.

He couldn’t think about the fact he had just up & left her without so much as a goodbye.

After stripping out of his blood stained clothes, Gavin caught sight of the lip shaped blood stain on his cheek in the bathroom mirror. That was when everything he had tried desperately to hold together all came falling apart at the seams.

It was like putting a bandaid over a bullet wound. Putting duct tape over a crack in the foundations of a house that was falling apart from the inside out.

He had lost so fucking much.

Elijah was a cunt, Emma was gone, Nines was gone. He didn’t know how the fuck he could mend the relationships that he had been actively sabotaging with every wrong fucking move he made & it all just crashed down on him all at once.

The first thing that was met with Gavin’s anger was the bathroom mirror. Left hand colliding full force into it, the glass shattering into a thousand tiny fucking pieces into the sink; leaving his reflection cracked & broken, just like the rest of him.

With angry sobs, Gavin threw his tantrum. He effectively trashed his bathroom to a point where it looked as though a small bomb had gone off in there. It looked like someone had torn the place apart trying to find something.

Perhaps that’s exactly what Gavin had done. Torn it all apart, trying to find a sense of peace, trying to find some sense of self. Not that anything came.

Instead, he just ended up wearing himself out. 

He dragged himself into the shower, scrubbed at his skin until the nanites crawled away, until his human skin was red raw & the water that pooled at his feet turned from red to clear.

Once out of the shower, he then changed into loose sweatpants & a baggy black pull over hoodie. Then, Gavin put his phone, together with Nines’ & the man’s butterfly knife, on his nightstand & threw his blood stained clothes in the trash rather than bothering to try to scrub the blood out of them.

Besides, he doubted he’d be able to look at that sweater the same again without being reminded of how Nines slowly choked on his own fucking blood.

He didn’t bother tidying up his bathroom.

Then, there were two days of silence. Two days of Gavin being curled up in bed, hugging a pillow & refusing to move unless completely necessarily. Two days of eating the bare minimum of takeout food just so he didn’t starve to death. Two days of trying to figure out what the fuck he was going to do next.

Everything felt so… Wrong.

Revenge didn’t sound so appetising without having a ruthless mobster at his side. Being a cop didn’t appeal without a daughter looking up to him to set an example. 

Existing with so much guilt & hurt was gaining on him. Gaining & fucking gaining... Gavin didn’t know what to fucking do.

Every so often he’d pick up his phone. He’d hover over Chloe’s contact number, but every time he’d swipe away from it. The one time he was about to click that call button, all of one second away, that was when Hank phoned to ask him to come to the station for questioning.

No ‘hey, how are you?’ or ‘I’m sorry I ghosted you for half a year & would have continued to do so, but my criminal boyfriend got shot so I’m going to lie to your face about what happened’, instead, Gavin simply said, “‘Kay. Be there in twenty,” then hung up the phone.

Bang on twenty minutes later, Gavin found himself on the wrong side of an interrogation room, arms folded on the table & head resting on them as he waited for Hank.

He didn’t have cuffs on & as he flickered his eyes up to the little camera in the corner that was supposed to record everything, he noticed that the little red light switched off right as Hank walked into the room.

“Hey, Kid.” 

“Hey, Dad.” Gavin whispered without missing a beat as he sat himself up while still keeping his arms folded on the table. His tired, dark green eyes flickered to the camera again before back to the lieutenant. “Keeping this off the record?”

“What a shame that I didn’t know someone had turned the cameras off. I guess the records will just have to take my word for it.” Hank offered a sad smile before adding, “Son, you disappeared for six months. This is the first peep anyone’s heard from ya & you show up with the body of the guy who-” 

Gavin’s eyes narrowed dangerously, causing the man to stop his sentence dead in its tracks. 

Slowly, Gavin’s arms slid from the table as he leaned back in the chair & muttered, “You think I killed him.”

“Gav- That’s not what I’m saying & you know it. You know how this shit works. Just- Tell me what happened, alright? The police have been looking for Richard Wolf for months, we all saw what you saw on the news. Then all of a sudden I get a call from his brother saying he’s been shot & killed & that apparently, you’re the only one that knows what happened?”

Yeah. Because him & Connor had gone over the full story that Gavin would give to Hank. A story, a fucking lie, that would perfectly correlate to what Connor had told the lieutenant.

“I didn’t shoot him.”

“Who did?”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t me, Joseph Allen has my gun & badge still.”

“Gav-”

“I said I don’t know!” Gavin yelled as he slammed his hands on the table, glaring angrily at the man opposite, tears pricking in the corners of his eyes. 

Before he had the chance to continue his little outburst, Gavin shut himself up as he saw the way Hank’s face morphed into worry.

He could see the way the man that he called his father only wanted to help, that he just wanted to see that Gavin was going to be okay, that meeting for the first time in half a year in a fucking interrogation room had something uncomfortable sitting on the pit of the older man’s stomach.

Hank cared for Gavin; he had a weak spot for him.

_Don’t, Gavin. You’re not Nines. Don’t use someone else’s hurt to your advantage._

“How’d you get that bruise, Kiddo?” Hank’s words pulled Gavin from his thoughts.

With a puzzled look, he tipped his head to glance at himself in the one way mirror. A rather prominent bruise forming along his cheekbone, blending into the heavy bags that sat beneath his eyes. 

“Oh-” Well, there was no point in lying any more than he had to. Besides, he wasn’t sure if Connor had told Hank that he had punched him or not. “-Connor Wolf punched me in the face.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think?” Gavin muttered through grit teeth, eyes flickering to the mirror, then back to Hank’s face. “I used Ni- Richard’s phone to call him, I didn’t know what to do, I- He was dead by the time Connor got to us. He punched me in anger.”

After a long silence that consisted of the lieutenant studying Gavin’s face, he finally asked, “Did you see who shot him?”

“No. I was on my way to meet with him. He was shot before I got there.”

The lies fell so easily, Nines’ influence had rubbed off on him whether Gavin wanted it or not.

“Did he say anything that could help us find out who the perp was?”

“No.”

“Gav-” Hank sighed out, hands coming up to scrub at his face before dropping them to interlace his fingers together, hands resting on the table. “-You gotta give me somethin’, Kid.”

“He was important to me, Hank.” Gavin finally murmured from where he was staring down into his lap after swallowing thickly. 

Gavin didn’t know how the hell else to get Hank to believe what it was he was saying. He didn’t know how else to avoid implicating Amanda, how else to not cave & tell the truth.

When Gavin had told Connor exactly what it was that had happened, when they went over everything that Gavin was to say that’d line up with what Connor would tell the lieutenant, the man had made it extremely clear that if he in any way shape or form gave away that it was Amanda who had pulled the trigger, then Gavin wouldn’t like what happened next.

The next thing he knew, Connor was insinuating how unfortunate it would be if Hank were to get into an ‘accident’, all because Gavin would try to outplay a Wolf.

Fucking criminals, always with their threats.

But Gavin agreed because he knew damn well that the threat wasn’t empty. He knew that just by knowing Nines, he had put everyone he cared about in danger.

Everyone that Gavin had ever even hinted at caring for would be caught in the crossfire if he made one wrong move. That much had already been proven by losing two people he loved, he couldn’t lose any more.

So Gavin let Connor pull his strings just like Nines had, boxing him into a corner where lying seemed better than the alternative.

He lied & he manipulated. Just like what Amanda did. Just like what Elijah did.

Just like what Nines did to him.

Gavin used the compassion that Hank was always giving him to his advantage.

He peered up at Hank with tears welling in his eyes, “I-I didn’t know he was bad, Hank, I didn’t know he wasn’t who I thought he was. I loved him & I-I had to watch him _die!_ Just like- J-Just like with-”

He still couldn’t finish that sentence, even if he was only pulling that card to get Hank to fall for it.

“I know, Son, I know.” Hank murmured softly, “Nobody deserves to go through the loss that you have in such a short amount of time.”

It was working.

Just like how Gavin fell for Nines’ fabricated care at the start of their relationship, Hank was falling for Gavin’s little act.

Sure, Gavin felt a sense of guilt, but what the fuck else was he supposed to do when he was already in so fucking deep?

The obvious answer was to come clean, about everything. Yet somehow, Gavin couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

“S-So no, I don’t know who did it, I-I don’t know- Hank you have to believe me. _Please.”_

“I do, you know I do.” Hank murmured as he slowly stood himself up, his knees clicking quietly as he did so. “C’mere, Kiddo.” 

Gavin used his sleeve to swipe at his face a few times as he peered up to Hank, who was standing there with his arms out. Fiddling with his sleeves, Gavin shoved himself up out of the chair & made his way around the table so he could wrap his arms around the lieutenant’s middle with yet another sniffle. “I don’t know what to do, Hank, I-”

That was the truth. 

He didn’t know what to do.

Everything had become so messy so fucking quickly & he was at a loss.

The lieutenant’s arms wrapped tightly around Gavin’s frame, hugging him tight to his chest in the same way he did every fucking time Gavin needed comfort from someone who knew about everything that had happened to him in Cyberlife that first time. “You’ll always have a place here with us, y’know that, right?”

_Not anymore, I don’t._

“I know.” Gavin murmured simply, blinking away those tears now that they were not necessary, his face blank of any emotion now that Hank wasn’t directly looking at him. 

“You can always call me, Kid. Don’t fucking scare me like that ever again, y’hear me? Or I’ll arrest you for real.”

“I’m not… You’re not arresting me?” 

“I know you didn’t do anything wrong. Anyone who takes issue with that will have to deal with my word over theirs.”

Connor was right.

It really did help to have eyes & ears in the police force.

He could have been the one to pull that trigger & all it would take was lying through his teeth to all the right people to get out of it.

_You’re a shitty fucking person, Gav. Taking notes out of Nines’ book now? What, you just gonna manipulate everyone you care about now? For what? You’ve got nothing to go to now but another fucking funeral. What then? What happens next?_

Gavin slowly pulled back from the warm embrace, once again pulling his sleeves over his hands to wipe beneath his eyes. After blinking a few times, acting as though he was trying to get rid of some tears, Gavin offered Hank a shaky smile. “I guess… I- I’m sorry I disappeared, I just needed-”

“We know. Gav, we understand, you know that right? We’ll never give up on you, no matter how much you push us- No matter how much you need time to yourself.”

Gavin definitely didn’t miss what Hank was going to say before he corrected himself. Yet, all he could murmur out was a meek little ‘thanks’ as the guilt from him manipulating someone he cared about into believing that he had nothing to do with Nines being killed began to weigh down on his shoulders a little more quickly than he had anticipated.

“Go on, Kid, get outta here before I kick your ass for loitering.”

“You wouldn’t fuckin’ dare.” Gavin laughed out, but it was half hearted, barely there at all.

“You wanna find out?”

“Alright, alright, I’m going.” Gavin stuffed his hands into his pockets, but right as he made it to the door, a gentle hand on his shoulder had him pausing with a soft, “Hm?”

He could have sworn he felt the air shift, Hank’s grip tightening just that little bit harder.

As he leaned in closer, Hank murmured in a serious, low tone, “I know you have been through hell, trust me, I know, I went through it too. But, you _ever_ lie to me again, Gavin & we’ll have a problem, do you understand me?”

There was a warning the way the lieutenant spoke & just the tone alone had Gavin’s muscles tensing along with a shiver running down his mechanical spine. After swallowing thickly around the lump that was forming in his throat, the ex-detective nodded once with an ever so quiet, “I understand.”

He was fucking naive to think he could have fooled Hank so easily. 

“Good. Now get the fuck out before I flip those cameras back on & you tell me exactly what the fuck happened to that CEO while cuffed to the table, y’hear me?” 

Gavin’s muscles stiffened impossibly more as he stared down to his feet with simply another nod. When he made no effort to say anything, Hank added, “Connor Wolf, Reed? Really? When that man is involved, it’s never good news. Next time you want to pull this shit on me, Kid? Don’t fucking bother. You’d be wise to check how far you’re falling.”

Just like that, Hank’s hand on Gavin’s shoulder ever so gently pushed him forward, causing him to stumble slightly as he headed out of the interrogation room.

To everyone who really knew him, Nines was dead. To the media, the police, the task force that was still searching for him, Richard Wolf was dead.

To Gavin, though?

He couldn’t be dead. Because Hank was right. 

Gavin was falling further & further & he was far too selfish to rot in hell without the devil himself at his side.

>RK9

>>R/K//900

>>SYSTEM ONLINE

>>OVERWRITE SYST/EM  
  


>UPDATING NAME

>>RK900

>>RK_RICH/ARD_W0LF_A9~GEN

>>RICH*/A9

>>rA9  
  


>UPDATING MEMORY PROCESSORS

>>UPDATE UNSUCCESSFUL

>>UP/DATE UN/S~UCCESSF*ULL  
  


>UNKN~0WN VIRUS DETECTED

>SY_ST3M E~RR*OR

>SYSTEM WIDE SHUTD0WN IMMINENT   
  


>REBOOT@]ING  
  


The second Nines’ eyes flew open, he began coughing. He began choking on nothing to a point where as he tried to roll onto his side, he fell off the bed, falling onto his hands & knees as he desperately sucked in as much air as he could.

He dragged in heavy breaths through damp, parted lips, a string of spit dripping from his lips down onto the pristine white floor below.

Fingers curled against the tiles as though he could somehow grip them for support, his chest heaving quicker & quicker.

He desperately raised one hand so he could claw at his throat as though he could get rid of whatever was causing him to choke, tears brimming in his eyes that were screwed tightly shut.

That was until he finally realised that there was nothing in or around his throat. Nothing blocking his airways.

No blood, no mucus. No bullet to the chest.

The hand that was on his throat dropped to press over the left side of his chest where he had been shot as he slowly rolled over to lie down on his back.

Despite the temperature of the floor he was lying on, Nines didn’t feel the need to shiver. It wasn’t like the cold nipped at his bones either. It felt more like his body was recognising that he was cold, but that was it.

It was cold, but _he_ wasn’t, even though he should be.

Then again, he supposed dead people didn’t feel much of anything.

Nines slowly blinked his eyes open in an attempt to stare up at the ceiling, only for his view to be completely blocked by a bombardment of computer code & text, all jumbled together nonsensically.  
  
 _No._

He brought his hands up to press his palms against his eyes. Nines rubbed at them, as though that would somehow get rid of what was blocking his vision, but even with his eyes closed, the words & numbers remained.  
  
“ _FUCK!”_ He exclaimed as he quickly pieced two & two together. Those nanites Chloe had injected him with, was he a fucking android?

_Well, fuck._

His voice was garbled, his expletive wrapped up in distortion.

Nines went to swallow, but something about the tiny action felt off.

It was as though his spit didn’t quite dampen his throat like it was supposed to. His tongue was heavy in his mouth & his spit felt almost… oily. Artificial.  
  
 _Fucking fantastic._

He was hating everything already & he’d only been awake for all of five minutes.

“What th-” His garbled words were immediately cut off as he heard the sound of kitten heeled shoes walking down the hall towards the door of the room he was in. 

Why was it so _fucking_ loud?

He immediately registered those particular footfall belonging to the one & only Chloe fucking Artei.

The bitch that wanted him dead. The bitch that had shoved Cyberlife technology in his head that had caused this mess.

The moment the door was pushed open & Chloe stepped through, the android had already shoved himself flawlessly up onto his feet. He marched right up to the smaller android, hand wrapping around her throat as he slammed her up against the nearest wall.

As soon as his eyes focused on her, more little boxes popped up in his vision. 

He scanned over her biocomponents, he could see that they were all working in order minus for the slight low levels of thirium that needed to be replenished by the end of the week.

His mind even told him that she was an ‘RT600’ model. ‘RT’. ‘Artei’. 

_Fucking clever, Elijah._

RT600. One of a kind. The earliest android made by Elijah Kamski for the sole purpose of being there for Gavin S. Reed as a psychiatrist.

“RK?!” Chloe gasped out as she was pinned against the wall. Her LED that was on show illuminated the space between them in a bright shade of red. 

Her hands flew up to grip at Nines’ wrist in an attempt to pry herself free as her feet kicked slightly, her toes desperately trying to reach the floor from where she was being raised ever so slightly above it.

“What the fu-” Nines had to pause to try to cough, as though that’d dislodge whatever it was that was making his voice so distorted. “What the fuck did you do to me?!” He tried again. He tried to bellow his words in her face, project his anger right at her, but the sentence came out as a barely there whisper. 

Each word that he had to force out had static wrapped around them, as though they were not his own, each word feeling as though it was clawing at his throat before leaving his mouth.

Nines fucking despised it. He didn’t sound like him. It hurt to talk & it wasn’t even fucking worth the pain when his voice sounded like _that._

That didn’t mean he couldn’t show his anger through his actions, though. So Nines slammed the android harder against the wall, nails digging in hard enough that the nanites around her throat began to pull back to reveal her shiny, white chassis beneath.

“Nines.” Chloe corrected herself in a mutter, as though she didn’t actually expect him to be Nines when he had woken up. Her hand slid from his wrist to his hand so she could forcibly pry his fingers from around her throat, one by one until he completely let go, dropping her in the process.

With ease, Chloe regained her footing as a dangerous look settled into her sparkling, otherwise kind blue eyes. That look alone was enough for Nines to take a single step back.

After she brushed down the creases out of her blouse, Chloe asked, “I save your life & this is how you repay me? You really are as ungrateful as you seem.”

The woman then took a step closer so she could reach up to grip Nines’ face, tilting his head towards the light as she inspected his eyes for a moment before completely stepping back.

Her face fell back into that clinical, stoic look as she asked, “What’s the last thing you remember? Let’s start from the beginning.” Her voice was far less hostile & much more quiet, but somehow, her tone still sounded as though Nines was somehow a hindrance to her. As though she was disappointed that he was Nines & her technology had worked.

Nines blinked a few times at her question, glaring at the android through the variety of boxes that were still cluttering his vision before slowly taking another step back as he looked down at his hands. He studied them for a moment as though they were foreign to him, flexing his fingers as he turned his hands palm up. His brows knit tightly together before he looked back to Chloe again.

_Jesus fucking Christ. I really am an android. A fucking robot. I fucking died._

“I died.” Nines finally managed to get out, his voice a barely there mechanical whisper.

It _frightened_ him.

Just as he often used his looks & charm to get what he wanted, he also needed his voice. He needed to use his words & alluring tones to entice people, to drag them in, to get what he fucking wanted.

Now it was gone.

_Fuck._

The last thing Nines remembered was choking on his own blood as he desperately tried to get words out. 

He remembered wanting to tell Gavin something. Anything, really. Something that had more meaning than just rubbing it in Gavin’s face that he should have listened to him when he said that there was no trusting Amanda.

He wanted to tell Gavin that he was glad that out of all of the ways he could have died, there was a sort of content feeling that stayed with him through it all, knowing that Gavin had been the one to be there. He was glad that the man was there without pretense, that Gavin was finally being himself around him.

That Gavin wanted him back in his life, even if it was just for selfish revenge reasons.

But if he could never get those words out while living? There was definitely no way he would have gotten them out whilst dying.

Nines’ LED was spinning a rapid red as he recounted what had happened before the world faded out, his chest rising & falling a little more quickly with each passing second. It wasn’t as though he even needed to breathe in air anymore to keep his body from settling into a panic that he so rarely ever felt. But _human_ habits die hard.

Nines never bothered to waste time with panicking. In his mind, it was useless, just like most other emotions.

Right now, though?

Everything felt so… _Wrong._

His head was pounding. Everything was so fucking loud & way too clear, like he could hear a pin drop from a block away. Little warning boxes along with jumbled lines of text sat behind his eyes that he couldn’t fucking get rid of & everywhere he looked, there were little information boxes telling him exactly what it was that he was looking at.

His mind was analysing _everything._

_Congratu-fucking-lations, Nines, you’re the first human in existence to not only be a clone of your brothers, but now you’re a fucking android replica of said clone!_

“I’m… _Him?”_ Was all Nines could dumbly ask in that same whispered tone.

He was still so caught up in the way his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. How his spit felt thicker & fucking weirder than it was supposed to. His throat felt so tight & every time he spoke, it only hurt more than the last. 

No matter how hard he willed that mechanical, distorted edge to get out of his barely there words, he couldn’t.

Each word he actively spoke felt as though it was causing more damage to his throat. There was no way he could know for sure either, because he had no fucking idea how to rifle through all of the boxes that were constantly bombarding his vision.

“RK900? Yes. Well, no. You have the body, yes. The exterior is an RK900 unit. But any reminiscence of RK900 should have been completely wiped & overwritten by the code that was crafted using your export chip.” Chloe explained. There was almost a hint of sadness to her voice.

She easily maneuvered Nines so he was sitting back down on the edge of the bed. Then, she made quick work of picking up her tablet from the desk beside the bed & sat on the chair opposite him. Nines simply followed her actions. He sat on the bed, quietly watching her.

“You’re still Nines, if that’s what you mean.” Chloe finally added as she began to do something on her tablet.

“Am I? What do you m-” Nines synthetically swallowed rather thickly with a slight cringe at the ever present metallic taste, clearing his throat yet again before trying to finish his sentence, “-What do you mean, _‘should have’_...?” 

There was a brief silence between them, but Nines almost didn’t notice as he was too focused on the way the error boxes were beginning to leave his vision, the distorted code dissipating too. Eventually, he was just left with a box that listed a certain biocomponent as being damaged.

His eyes flickered to Chloe’s hands, seeing through the back of the translucent tablet that she had up all of the boxes that were in his vision right there on her tablet to fiddle with.

She had control. 

She was in his head.

Right as he was about to open his mouth to try to force some words out that’d only end in him freaking the fuck out at her for having access to his head, Chloe beat him to it to answer his earlier question.

“RK900 existed before your data was copied over to the unit. Every android has a personality coded for them, except for RK900. But that doesn’t mean a code didn’t form on its own accord.”

Nines’s head snapped up from where he was looking at the back of the tablet so he could shoot a narrowed eyed glare at Chloe. “You fucking-” He bit his lip, swallowing yet again because it felt like someone had stabbed him right in the fucking throat right as he tried to shout, his voice cracking too much for his sentence to get out.

After another silence, Nines wasn’t entirely sure how he did it, but when the information box popped up telling him what the fucking tablet was in Chloe’s hands, he realised that he could project his sentences onto it. 

So that’s exactly what he did. Rather than speaking, he managed to project those thoughts into a little box that popped up on the tablet’s screen for Chloe to read.

 _‘So what you’re saying is you put me in a fucking sentient robot?! That you’re just HOPING it works?! I_ **_died_ ** _for this fucking technology, Artei! I need more than your ‘hopes’!’_

Nines jabbed a finger right at Chloe as he whispered, “If this goes wrong-”

“-If this goes wrong-” Chloe cut in, leaning closer to Nines so that his finger poked her right in the upper chest. Her eyes flickered down to it, then up to meet his eyes. She then gestured to the tablet. “-You’ll be shut down. You might be able to talk to me through this, but all things important are reinforced & protected. Not even an RK900 can hack into it.”

With a shake of her head, she added, “You’d be wise to remember who helped create RK900 in the first place, Nines. I have full control over exactly what happens to you.” Her tone was cold, cruel with no space for argument. The bitch knew exactly what the fuck she was doing, what she wanted & exactly how to get it.

She really was in control.

Nines relented as he slowly dropped his hand back into his lap.

 _He_ was supposed to be the one who made the threats. _He_ was supposed to be the one who owned the room.

It was supposed to be _him._

“Voice. Why?” Nines just about whispered, even just two words were all wrapped up in distortion.

If every word was going to hurt, if everything came out like a fucking sad, broken computer, then he didn’t have much choice other than keep them to a minimum.

“RK900 was never fit with a voice module.” Chloe answered almost instantly, in a tone that was just as blunt as every other time she had something to say about his new fucking body. Saying things as though they in no way were a huge fucking deal to him.

When Nines didn’t offer a retort & instead just blankly stared at her, Chloe added, “You were not supposed to speak. To be honest, I don’t really know how you have a voice at all, Nines. Perhaps you should be grateful.”

Maybe she was right. He really didn’t have a sense of gratitude.

“Grateful?! I’m a b-broken fucking _machine!”_ He spat, voice hitching as he swore. His words were only just a harsh murmur when he wanted so badly for them to be shouted. They were such a garbled mess, he was surprised that the woman opposite understood them at all.

“No, Nines. You were dead. Now you’re not. RK900 wasn’t made to have vocal capabilities. He’s a one of a kind model. Your wiring is different to the mainstream models, which means only Elijah knows how to fix your vocal module. But, like I said, I don’t know how you have a voice at all. It shouldn’t be possi-”

_Fucking great. Maybe staying dead would have been less fucking complicated._

The end of Chloe’s sentence was completely cut off as a loud static like sound in his head overtook everything else.

He brought his hands up to rub at his temples as he spat out a whispered little ‘fuck’ beneath his breath. More code danced its way through his vision, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut in an attempt to get it to go away.

It glitched & warped, turning completely unreadable.

It felt like someone or something was clawing at his head, trying to climb out & it fucking _hurt._

He thought androids couldn’t feel pain?

As he hissed in agony, hands sliding up to clutch at his own hair as though that would in any way help to alleviate the feeling that was in his head, the unreadable code morphed & changed into what looked like an image.

Then, that image began to move.

Some of the tinnitus-like sound in his head dissipated & voices could be heard.

All Nines could do was watch as a distorted little movie played in his fucking head, made up of an amalgamation of code.

_“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I’m trying, RK. I really am.”_

Nines was watching from what looked to be… RK900’s perspective? He could see through the android’s eyes as- Was that Gavin’s daughter? Emma. He watched as Emma slouched into a swivel chair, looking rather defeated.

_“They want you to replace Richard Wolf. Do you know who that is?”_

Apparently, RK900 didn’t respond. Nines continued to watch as the distorted imagery showed Emma explaining that her & Gavin were supposed to be going on a road trip together. That RK900 would be alone.

The next thing he saw, she was uploading a code into him. Then the imagery of her got even more distorted with line after line of code. Then red wiring. Then more code.

Then, he started following Emma’s orders. Hacked into her computer. Did a fucking handstand. Almost broke her hand. She looked so defeated every time he followed an order.

But from Nines’ perspective, he could see the directives in RK900’s vision & every time, he saw the option to ignore the orders. He didn’t have to follow them.

So why was he? When she obviously wanted him to ignore her?

Was he lying to her about the code working? Before he got his answers, Emma’s voice could be heard again.

 _“Wipe today’s memories of Emma Kamski. That’s an order, RK900.”_ He heard Emma say. He saw RK900 pull up little memory boxes, ready to wipe them. Instead, he just closed the boxes off rather than deleting them.

Her code worked. He didn’t need to follow orders from a Kamski anymore.

“-Ines?! Nines! What is happening, are you okay?!” Chloe’s concerned voice finally broke through all of the static that was still buzzing around his head & Nines was quick to blink a few times as though trying to force those little images away.

He could feel his heart- No, his _regulator,_ whirring a hell of a lot faster, working overtime to try to catch up with the internal panic he was so obviously feeling.

Funny how as a robot he seemed to panic more than he ever did as a fucking human with _real_ emotions.

That was a memory.

But it wasn’t _his_ memory.

_Shit._

_‘Any reminiscence of RK900 should have been completely wiped & overwritten by the code that was crafted using your export chip.’ _

_Yeah? Great fucking work Chloe! Clearly fucking not!_

_“Nines?!_ What’s happening?”

The android forced himself to breathe. It wasn’t exactly as though he needed to, but he did genuinely feel as though the action helped to cool down his internal processors. After a few deep breaths, he dropped his hands from his hair & looked up to meet Chloe’s almost worried eyes.

As he did so, he felt something drip down onto his upper lip.

With a furrowed brow, Nines reached a finger up to swipe over his lip & pull it away to look.

Thirium.

Chloe acted faster, grabbing a tissue from the tissue box on the desk & gently moving forward to wipe away at the thirium that was steadily dripping out of Nines’ nose.

“What happened?” She tried again, her voice much softer now. It was as though she couldn’t fight off that need to be the caring psychiatrist with the gentle voice, no matter how hard she tried.

Perhaps who an android was stuck with them, no matter how far they strayed from their original coding.

There was no fucking way Chloe was going to let him out of- wherever the fuck he was, if she found out that he had memories in his head that were not his own.

So instead of telling the truth, Nines did what he did best. 

He lied.

“I-I died.” He first whispered out, even that being a little garbled. He took the tissue Chloe had so he could hold it to his own nose rather than having her do it as his eyes stayed in a glare to hide any panic, his LED still spinning red. 

His eyes flickered to her tablet, then back to her face as he made a text box pop up on it that said, _‘How do you turn it off?! I don’t need to analyse everything! I know my vocal unit is broken!'_

Hopefully, she would simply think that he was struggling to get a handle on the fact his mind was a fucking computer, that he was in the body of an android, that so much was happening all at once, that his voice was shot.

Then again, that wasn’t a complete lie.

It just wasn’t the complete truth, either.

With his free hand, Nines gestured to his head to help emphasise his point as another box popped up on the tablet screen with, _‘How do I make it fucking stop?!’_

For a moment, Chloe studied him as though she was trying to pick apart what he was saying, as though rooting around for any signs of lies. When she found none, he could have sworn that he watched her eyes grow more distant & less caring.

“You can’t.” She stated bluntly. “Androids are programmed to analyse their surroundings at every waking hour. We are computers, Nines. It will take time to adjust.”

Good. She didn’t question what he was saying.

Still, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little bit surprised that all she had to say was he needed ‘time to adjust’. 

He had woken up in a different place, in a different fucking body, after dying, all with someone else's memories in his fucking head & she had the audacity to tell him was that he just needed time to fucking adjust.

“You need to stop trying to push yourself constantly. No wonder Gavin is so… infatuated by you. You are just as bad as he is. Turning your fear into anger, refusing to acknowledge the change that has & _is_ happening to you.”

Nines pushed himself up from where he was sitting with an ever so slight stumble, but managed to catch his footing. The static sound in his head had dissipated from being agonisingly loud to just a little background sound.

With the tablet still in Chloe’s hand, he projected onto it, _‘Didn’t I already tell you that I don’t need a therapy session?’_

The less he used his voice, the less error boxes tried to cloud his vision.

“Didn’t I already tell you that no therapist could ever fix you? That’s because you will never listen.”

Valid. She wasn’t exactly wrong.

Nines went to walk towards the door, but froze, not only because he realised that he was only clad in a pair of tight, black Cyberlife branded sweatpants, but because he heard the audible ‘click’ of the door he was heading towards locking shut.

It was as though he could hear all of the mechanisms slotting perfectly into place, boxing him in.

 _‘Are you going to keep me here? Use me as a lab rat?’_ Nines was quick to ask, the box popping up on Chloe’s tablet in record speed.

“No.” The android shook her head & before he had the chance to ask why, Chloe beat him to it by giving him an answer. “I’m not Elijah, Nines. Nor am I your mother.”

Chloe’s shoulders settled back down from where they had been tensed. It was such a fucking human action, no wonder she could so easily blend in at the DPD without raising suspicion. “You’d be surprised to learn that I actually want to see Gavin happy. Even if it means being with _you_ of all people.”

“Ouch.” Nines whispered, it being followed up by a laugh despite the fact it was a little vacant. But the laugh fell short rather quickly as he realised just how mechanical the sound was. It didn’t even sound like a laugh.

Yeah, this whole ‘no voice’ thing was seriously going to need to be fixed soon.

The gangster riled in the anger that was slowly bubbling upon hearing Chloe’s words, however. Rather than starting a new argument, he decided that he needed to tread carefully. He needed Chloe on his side.

She was the one who could choose whether he lived or died. One wrong move with Gavin & Chloe had his kill switch right fucking there in her hands.

For a moment, Nines contemplated smashing the tablet, but he knew technology companies, he fucking owned one. He knew that if he smashed that tablet, there would be a backup. There was always a fucking backup.

“Besides, do you think I’m going to just let you waltz out of here in simply a pair of sweatpants, showing your face to the whole of Detroit? Who, by the way, think Richard Wolf is dead! You have a computer in your head, Mr. Wolf, you’ve already learnt how to project your words, so why don’t you use that brain for longer than two seconds.”

Yet again, the woman was using that tone that left no place for argument & quite honestly? Nines wondered how the hell Elijah fucking Kamski of all people had created somebody so assertive.

Just as long as he fucking behaved himself, was good to Gavin, Nines could have Chloe on his side. Elijah be damned.

He carefully watched as Chloe put her tablet down as she made her way around to the other side of the bed to pick up an old backpack that had a little pink cat head keychain attached to it.

She then dropped it onto the bed, gesturing to it as she met Nines’ eyes once again. “It took me a week to get you functioning with all of the correct memories & data-”

_Yeah, not all of the right fucking memories! Still got a few of RK’s knocking about in here! Great fucking work!_

“-this?” Her eyes flickered to the bag, then back to Nines’ face, “Is from Gavin. He all but shoved it into my arms. Said it was ‘a bunch of shit Nines will need when he wakes up’. I haven’t looked in it.”

Sounded about right.

Nines was beginning to appreciate the hypersensitive hearing, because it meant Chloe had it to. So when he whispered out, “Gavin was here?” before it dawned on him that it’d be just that, a whisper, Chloe heard it easily.

“Not here. But he was the one who decided you needed to come back. I didn’t know you had been shot & would have continued to stay oblivious until it became public knowledge, but Gavin told me everything.”

Chloe paused for a moment, her LED cycling yellow once before returning to blue as she added, “Connor also knew you could be brought back, I assume Gavin told him what he was planning. But… Connor demanded neither me or Gavin try anything stupid in case it went wrong. I suppose he isn’t going to be happy with either of us if he finds out.”

Connor didn’t want him coming back?

Why was he not surprised? He should have known by now that everyone was only ever out for the themselves.

He could have been dead forever. Gone. Happily burning in hell, but no. 

Gavin fucking Reed was just as much of a Kamski as his brother.

Nines squared his jaw for a moment, LED cycling between red & yellow, but before he could attempt to say anything, he bit his tongue. Instead, he just made his way over to the bag so he could open it & see what was inside.

A black button down shirt, pants, boxers, shoes. Gavin’s old DPD sweater that Nines had borrowed after they had first met was in there too. Lying neatly at the bottom of the bag was Nines’ golden trim prized pistol & his phone.

Beneath it lay a note in slightly messy handwriting. 

Nines lay the contents out on the bed before picking up the note that read, _‘Come back to me, 9s, please. I need you~ xo G’_

A sly little smirk slowly crept up onto Nines’ lips as he read the note over a few times as though memorising every tiny detail of Gavin’s handwriting. 

Gavin needed him.

Even now, even knowing of all of the terrible things that Nines had done, knowing the type of man that he was & what he would continue to be, Gavin was still wrapped perfectly around his little finger.

So much so that the man was willing to bring him back from death, just to have him at his side.

Nines had unlocked that darkness that sat inside Gavin & had dragged him down to his level, just as he had planned all along. 

Gavin was his & they both knew it.

Nines’ eyes flickered up to Chloe’s, his smirk dropping & face returning stoic as he pulled on his shirt, beginning to do up each button. He paused half way so he could hand Chloe her tablet, projecting words across it for her to read.

_‘Are you just going to watch while I change? I know of a few people who would rather enjoy the view, but-’_

The woman visibly rolled her eyes as she turned her back to the gangster, arms folded neatly over her chest, tablet still in one of her hands so she could glance down to it if Nines spoke. “You do realise you cannot stay in Detroit, right?”

 _‘I am well aware.’_

Nines stripped out of those ridiculous Cyberlife branded sweatpants & let out an audible sigh as he looked down at himself.

He couldn’t help but murmur a soft, despite garbled ‘oh, thank fuck’ upon seeing that he still had his fucking junk before hastily tugging on his boxers, then pants. He was pretty sure that if he woke up with no dick, then he’d take the grave over the fucking afterlife. After all, it was one of his best assets.

No voice was one thing. But no dick? Absolutely fucking not.

If he wasn’t mistaken, which of fucking course he wasn’t, Nines could have sworn he heard Chloe let out the ever so tiniest little laugh at his audible relief.

“Elijah needed RK900 to be an exact replica of your human body, Nines. Especially considering he was planning on having RK900 replace you, your relationship with Gavin included. Once he perfected your voice module, that is.”

“Always knew that man was a pervert.” Nines sneered with a shake of his head. He had to rasp those words out, they just wouldn’t have the same effect written out as a text. 

He made quick work of tucking his shirt into his pants, rolling his sleeves to his elbows. Then he got his socks & shoes on.

For the briefest of seconds, Nines felt a sense of… appreciation. Appreciation for Gavin knowing him well enough to know what clothes to give to him to make him feel most like himself.

But as quick as that little spark of something nice was there, it was gone.

“I am thoroughly aware.” Chloe retorted with another soft little vacant laugh. “He is an awful person, but without him, Gavin would be dead, I wouldn’t exist & neither would RK900. _You wouldn’t be here._ ”

Blatantly ignoring Chloe’s comment, Nines pocketed the little note that Gavin had left for him along with his phone before his eyes drifted to his pistol. As he picked it up, his mind analysing the weight, the make, model & even the year it was fucking made. Hell, he even knew how many bullets were in the clip. Nines’ eyes flickered to Chloe, who still had her back to him.

He looked back to the gun in his hand as a small smirk tugged at just one side of his lips. 

His thumb toyed with the safety as he texted her, _‘So, speaking of Elijah, do Cyberlife know what you have done?’_

“No. Everyone who works for the company believed all of the prototypes we were working on were destroyed in the fire. Nobody knows we’re here either. Now I know that it works, I can work on my own version of that nanite technology.” Chloe stated, still watching the wall. Then, she reinforced what she had said earlier, “Richard Wolf is dead. RK900 was decommissioned. You can’t stay here. You've helped me with this technology by simply being you, I can help you leave."

Nines’ finger slowly wrapped around the trigger of his pistol.

_Do you honestly think Gavin will forgive you if you killed the one fucking person who can actually help you? Who is willing to help you?!_

The gangster grit his teeth with an irritated shake of his head. 

When the fuck did he grow a conscience?! Did Cyberlife, did _Chloe_ do something more to him that he didn’t know about? 

_Here, have some fucking morality with your slice of robot._ Great, just what he fucking needed. 

Nines’ thumb twitched over the safety for just a second as he struggled; he so desperately wanted to kill her, he had gotten what he wanted. She could shut him down if she stayed alive. But whatever it was had him flicking it back on without making a sound. Then, Nines tucked the gun into the back of his pants.

_Chloe can still be useful._

Nines begrudgingly pulled on the DPD sweater over the top of his clothes, using it as a means to cover his pistol. He then made his way towards the full body mirror that was on the far side of the room. He had yet to see his face.

He had seen on his torso as he was getting changed that his skin had a few blemishes to it, a few freckles that his human body had, but some of his more recent scars were missing.

He still had a bullet wound scar, a few little tracks along his ribs & arms from when the life he led got rough, but they were all scars from years upon years ago.

They were all back from when he had worked with Elijah, Nines realised. 

_That fucking bastard._

As he looked in the mirror, Nines was almost shocked at the sight & he wasn’t even sure why.

He was still Nines, but he couldn’t help but tentatively bring a hand up to his face so he could ever so gently brush his fingers along where his scars should have been sitting after his face was dragged through the glass.

They were gone.

“They’re gone, Nines.” Chloe spoke in that carefully neutral tone again. She was now standing just a few steps behind him, watching him as he inspected his own face in the mirror.

He studied himself in the same way someone who had just come out of a reconstructive surgery would, tipping his head this way & that, inspecting every tiny detail of his face.

The LED that sat on his right temple was cycling a constant, bright red & Nines wondered if he would ever grow accustomed to looking at it any time soon.

Then again, a part of him wasn’t so sure that he’d get used to the rest of him either.

The scars that once littered his face really were gone. Every scar that had been caused by the glass were no longer sitting like an angry reminder of karma catching up to him.

It felt almost as though he was trading one thing for another. Sure, he didn’t have those disgusting scars anymore, knocking down his ego every time he caught himself in a reflection, but now he had to grasp onto the fact his voice was royally fucked.

The only scar that remained was the thick, old one. The one that cut vertically through the right side of his face, from the side of his forehead down to his cheek. But as he brought a hand up to feel along it, he couldn’t feel a damn thing.

No raised skin or slight indentations.

It was just a copy. It was just the nanites that made up his synthetic skin being a slightly darker shade imitating the scar that he once had.

 _He_ was just a copy.

But he still felt like him. He was still Nines, wasn’t he? He still remembered who he was, who his brothers were. He remembered Gavin & being shot & ki- 

That psychotic fucking bitch shot her own son.

_But you shot your own assistant & you shot your boyfriend. _

There was that conscience-come-voice in his head again. 

Nines shoved those thoughts right down as far as they could go, he really didn’t need this new, weird fucking robo-conscience thing telling him to contemplate his fucking life choices right now.

Instead, he focused on the fact that Chloe wasn’t going to keep him there. Which meant he was free to go now he had his clothes on.

 _‘I’ll leave the city. There’s just a few things I need to attend to first.’_ Nines projected onto her tablet. As she read it, her eyes flickered up to meet his gaze through the mirror.

Chloe’s LED was cycling yellow as she murmured, “Nobody can see you, understood?”

With a roll of his eyes, Nines turned to face Chloe properly so she could see the impatience sitting on his face. _‘I know. Do you know where I can find Gavin? Need I remind you what happened last time you couldn’t help me find him-’_

Yeah. He killed someone when Chloe couldn’t help him find Gavin. He killed a whole SWAT team when they didn’t pull Gavin out of the river all that time ago.

Chloe’s eyes narrowed, but the glare was short lived. “About that…”

“Chloe.” He rasped bluntly.

“He’s… At your funeral.”

Shit, that wasn’t exactly something you heard every day.

Nines turned on his heel with a single nod & made his way to the door. He paused as he heard the locks click back to unlocked, that sound being quickly followed up by Chloe asking, “Wait, where are you going?”

With a soft, barely there laugh that was also wrapped up in static like how all of his words were now, Nines simply retorted with a rather distorted, “Was it not obvious? To my own fucking funeral.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for any kudos & comments<3


	17. Running With The Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin goes to Nines' funeral with some of his least favourite people, who actually show him a thing or two about what is really important & what isn't.
> 
> As for Nines? Well, it's not everyday that you get to go to your own funeral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter, folks! T.T

Fuck funerals.

Gavin had decided that funerals were for the living to find some peace, not for the dead. Funerals were supposed to be a sense of closure for the people, but standing there, beneath heavy storm clouds that he was sure were going to piss down with rain at any second?

There was no fucking closure.

Not when he was waiting on Chloe to call him, to text him, to fucking show up & tell him that she had fixed everything.

There was no closure when he knew that there was still a chance for Nines to come back. A chance for things to get at least one percent better.

His hands were stuffed deep into his jacket pockets and Gavin stepped from side to side slightly in an attempt to keep himself warm, glaring down at his sneakers rather than the casket being lowered into the ground.

There was no preacher, no chairs all laid out neatly for people to sit & cry on.

It was actually kind of fucking depressing.

North was standing in a black pantsuit with a red blouse beneath her blazer, her hair neatly curled & resting over her left shoulder. There were unmissable mascara tracks down her cheeks, tissue in hand. Beside her stood her husband, a man that Gavin had only properly been 

introduced to an hour earlier.

Markus Manfred. Son of one of Detroit’s favourite artists; Carl.

Of fucking course that artist crap was just a front, hiding the ties the Manfreds had to the criminal underworld. Just like A9 Genetics being a front for the Wolf family.

After their introductions, after North had vouched for Gavin, claiming that they could trust him seeing as Nines had trusted him, Markus & Gavin got talking. They talked a little about Nines & how close he was to the Manfreds.

Gavin was sort of surprised that Nines only kept close contact with few very people. He wasn’t sure why, but he just always thought Nines was the type of guy to get buddy with anyone who could further his own selfish whims. 

Yet, it seemed like he only meant something to Gavin, to the man with the mismatched eyes & to North.

Outside of that? There were only two other people at the funeral.

Two others that showed up late, no less.

When the black Bentley pulled up & Connor stepped out, dressed head to toe in black, he shot Gavin a warning glare the moment their eyes met. A warning glare that all but screamed, ‘You stay in your fucking lane’.

Gavin was about to make a gesture as though to ask ‘What the fuck’s your deal?’, but he never got the chance. Right as he was about to, his eyes drifted to the passenger side door of the Bentley as it opened & out stepped Connor’s twin brother.

Cain.

Cain fucking Wolf.

The moment Gavin’s eyes fell upon the smug prick, all of his hurt, all of his fear, it all morphed into an anger that he wasn’t sure what to do with.

Dressed in a white button down shirt tucked into tight black jeans, the top button undone & tie loose with a leather jacket over the top, Cain looked as though he’d rather be anywhere else than his own brother’s funeral.

His blond hair was out of line, falling across his forehead & the moment they locked eyes, a little knowing smirk tugged at the left side of his face.

Nines’ butterfly knife that sat in Gavin’s pocket suddenly weighed a whole lot more. His hand went to shoot into his jacket, but North’s firm grip on his arm stopped him.

“Gav-”

Yeah, seemed like everyone fucking knew what Cain did to Gavin, everyone had known all along. Except him.

“Get the fuck off me.” Gavin spat angrily as he shot a warning glare over his shoulder at her before yanking his arm free. He had every intention of marching right up to the prick & wiping that smug little smirk right off of his fucking face.

Cain clearly saw Gavin coming towards him, but he made no attempt to move, no attempt to fight back. Instead, his hands stayed limp at his sides as Gavin’s hands grabbed the lapels of his leather jacket & slammed his back right up against that swanky fucking car.

Gavin didn’t feel fear as he smelled that faint scent of roses that lingered around the blond, reminding him of that night. His anxieties didn’t try to pull him beneath its cold currents as those brown eyes zeroed in on him & him alone. No, it was all just anger.

Perhaps being around Connor & his pretty fuckin’ brown eyes helped, but those brown eyes of Cain’s didn’t strike fear in him like they used to.

“I should fucking kill you, you blond piece of shit! You fuckin’ tortured me & threw me off that fuckin’ ledge!” Gavin spat as he pulled Cain against him before slamming him back harder against the Bentley with as much force as he could, enough to leave a dent in the door.

In response, Cain just smirked, one hand coming up solely so he could push his unruly blond hair off of his forehead. It revealed a rather deep, circular scar right in the centre of his head.

Like he’d been shot there.

“I’d like to see you fuckin’ try, _Kamski.”_ Cain murmured with a confidence to his tone as his eyes first flickered to somewhere behind Gavin, then raked over his body before getting back to Gavin’s face, that grin never leaving. It was like he was checking out a meal.

Like a wolf eyeing a goddamn rabbit.

Fucking ironic, really.

“I should put a fuckin’ bullet right between your eyes, leave a nice new crater in place of that scar. Bury you next to your fuckin’ brother!” 

Cain just laughed at that. Not just a snicker or a huff of air through his nose either.

No, it was something maniacal, similar to that of a hyena. As though what Gavin had said was somehow the funniest fucking thing he had ever heard in his life. 

His chest rose & fell heavily as he tried to suck in air through his hysterics, his hand coming up to swipe beneath his eyes, wiping away imaginary tears.

Before Gavin had the chance to even react to the certified sociopath he had pinned to the car, Connor was already getting between them, shoving Gavin back rather forcefully before turning to Cain.

Gavin stumbled backwards, his back slamming up against something sturdy.

“You really think that’s a good idea, Reed? Here?” Markus’ voice came from right behind him as his hands wrapped around Gavin’s elbows to hold him steady.

“Get the fu-” 

Gavin’s sentence was cut off by Markus spinning him around to face him, mismatched eyes narrowing into a dangerous glare that had a shiver running through him, right to his very core.

In a dangerously low tone, Markus muttered, “That man is burying his brother today, Gavin, we are burying our _friend._ Put your fucking grievances aside. You’re surrounded by people who would choose a Wolf over a Kamski a thousand times over. Watch your _fucking_ step.”

The way the man spoke, it was deadly. It was in a way that made Gavin know that he would have absolutely no qualms with throwing him into a car compactor or Detroit river with a bullet between the eyes.

Besides, Markus was right.

No one here apart from Connor had any clue what Gavin had done in regards to going to Chloe about Nines. The man was also trusting that Gavin wouldn’t try a damn thing when it came to the Cyberlife technology that was crawling around his brother’s head.

These four people thought they were burying their friend, their family, for good. None of them got to say goodbye, none of them got a chance to solve any unfinished business.

Sure, they all knew that the type of life they lived would inevitably end in loose ends & no goodbyes. They all knew that the same thing was probably going to happen to them someday too, their body riddled with bullets with nobody actually knowing the goddamn truth.

But knowing it didn’t make it hurt any less.

Gavin was just so fucking angry all of the time. He had all of this hurt wrapped up so tightly that it morphed into an ire that he struggled to keep a cap on, that it had him momentarily seeing red rather than seeing that he was surrounded by mostly grieving people.

He was just so angry over Cain being the man who had shoved him off that car park ledge. That he still hadn’t got any fucking closure with regards to his torture, but somehow, Gavin was even angrier at the fact that it didn’t even fucking matter anymore.

Cain was the man that he was supposed to get if that deal with Amanda went how it was planned to, yet that didn’t fucking matter either.

He had so much anger that was constantly directed at Cain Wolf, but now he had him right there? At Nines’ fucking funeral of all places? There was a weight in the air around them that for once, wasn’t because of his own fears, but because of the unique tension that only came with loss.

It just felt fucking pointless when a few feet away, Nines was being lowered six feet under.

Markus let go of where he was gripping Gavin’s arms in favour of gently brushing down his shoulders in an almost demeaning manner, as though smoothing out the creases in his jacket would somehow make everything better.

The man adjusted Gavin’s tie for him, the action purposeful, before he slowly leaned in close to murmur against his ear, “You want to run with the wolves, Reed? You’d be quick to learn that killing Sixty isn’t exactly going to get you any further than your own grave.”

Then, just like that, Markus pulled away. He brushed down his own dress coat before linking arms with North & nodded once to Cain, the prick just smirking back. Smirked like he knew he was fucking untouchable with Markus right there. 

The duo headed back without another word to where they had been standing just before Gavin let his anger get the best of him.

Connor slowly pulled back from where he was muttering to Cain beneath his breath, shoulder checking Gavin as he made his way over to Markus & North, leaving Gavin idling there with Cain just a few steps away.

The blond fucking grinned at Gavin, leaning in close to mutter, “Guess I better go bury my fuckin’ brother, huh? This was fun, we should do it again sometime. Catch ya later... _Kamski_.” His hand shot out to ruffle up Gavin’s hair before he sauntered off to meet back up with the others.

“You better hope you don’t.” Gavin muttered, staying stood exactly where he was as he added on beneath his breath, “If I see your smug fuckin’ face again, I’ll put a bullet in it.”

“I heard that!” Cain yelled in a sing-song tone without so much as a backwards glance.

_Fucking psychopathic goddamn asshole._

Gavin didn’t trust himself to be anywhere fucking near the blond as they stood around Nines’ grave, so for the rest of the pathetic excuse of the ceremony, Gavin stayed leaning against a tree just a few feet away instead. 

He went through about half a box of cigarettes out of needing to keep his hands busy. When it was all said & done, when everyone had said their goodbyes, everyone but Connor headed back to their cars. North & Markus had tears sitting in their eyes as they walked away. Cain on the other hand? He didn’t look like he gave a single fuck. 

Gavin watched as Connor lingered by the fresh grave for a long while, his fingers brushing along the bouquet of flowers that North had placed on the headstone before he finally, slowly made his way over.

The man first looked up to the sky, brows knit together as a few droplets of rain began to fall from those angry, grey clouds above. Then, he looked back to meet Gavin’s gaze, his brown eyes glassy with tears, “You, uh- Look, I know you didn’t want to see Cain, but that’s his br-”

“I know.” Gavin nodded as he offered Connor his cigarette that had about two drags left to it at best. The man took it with a sad sigh, drawing in a drag deep enough to smoke the last bit of the cigarette down to the filter in one.

The ex-detective dropped his gaze to look down to his sneakers, swallowing down his anger & his pride in favour of murmuring, “I know that wasn’t fair of me- I just- You know what he did to me.”

“Yes. I doubt you’ll let me or anyone else forget.” Connor paused, studying him for a moment before he gestured to the fresh plot behind him. “Take a long hard look, Gavin, because this is what will happen to you too. You keep carrying on down this path you’re on with all that fucking anger you have & you’ll end up in a permanent bed right fucking beside him. Is that what you really want?”

Gavin wasn’t so sure where this sudden appeal came from, especially not when he could never properly pinpoint where Connor’s emotions & loyalties lay. One moment he cared, the next he didn’t. 

But in a way, Connor was right, it was Gavin’s anger that had got them all caught up in Amanda’s web. Gavin directed it at anyone who hurt him & that only ended up hurting others.

“I do fucking see it, Con!” Gavin’s head snapped up to glare at Connor rather than his feet, but when he saw those tears welling even more, his eyes softened around the edges. “I know- but ignoring Cain, what about Amanda? Elijah? How are you okay with letting them get away with everything that they’ve fucking done?! They have taken so fucking much-”

“I’m well aware, Gavin. I am not getting into this argument with you again.” Connor sighed. “Look, I just wanted to ask if you needed a lift or not.” Connor shot him a look before he raised his leg so he could stub the cigarette out on the sole of his shoe. He flicked the butt of it somewhere near the tree stump.

His hand then came up so he could swipe his finger beneath his eyes to quickly get rid of the tears that were about to fall.

‘Again’. Because the first time they argued about Elijah & Amanda was after Gavin got out of that interrogation room, shouting at Connor down the phone about how he had lied to his own dad to defend _Amanda_ of all fucking people.

Connor used the same fucking excuses that everyone else did. 

‘There are bigger things at play’. ‘She had her reasons’. ‘I’ll deal with it’. All shitty excuses, along with a host of many others Gavin had heard countless times before but couldn’t fucking defend. 

He was too tired to try to argue against them anymore, so he gave in time & time again.

“I think… I think I’m gonna stay here awhile.” Gavin finally murmured out as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“Sure?”

“Yeah.”

Connor nodded once. He glanced back to that shiny, black marble headstone with golden script one last time before he bowed his head & headed to his car, leaving Gavin alone.

“Connor? Wait!” Gavin called out. He watched the man pause at his car, slowly turning to look at Gavin with a soft ‘hm?’ that he just about caught onto.

There was just one thing he didn’t understand.

“Where’s Amanda? This was her son-” He looked to the fresh plot, then back to Connor. “-Why wouldn’t she show up to her own son’s funeral?”

For a moment, Connor just looked puzzled, as though he didn’t quite understand Gavin’s question before letting out a hollow laugh. “You really think she would miss a business opportunity? She’s at an event. A masquerade ball of all things. Rumour has it that a certain Kamski will be there too.”

To think Amanda cared more about money than her children. Then again, Gavin couldn’t really be surprised, he knew the type of woman Amanda was. Besides, he got a sense that if it was him being buried in that grave instead, he doubted that Elijah would have showed up either. Too busy trying to make more fucking money with people that he despised.

“Oh.” Was all Gavin could get out. “Sorry I asked.”

“See you ‘round, Reed.” Was all Connor left him with before getting into his car without looking back.

Gavin doubted that either of them would ever get along well. But they had a sort of middle ground where each other would be of use to the other, so not actively trying to kill one another seemed like the better option.

After another half an hour, one that consisted of Gavin standing there in the rain with tears slipping down his cheeks, cursing at a fucking headstone, the man finally decided to trudge back to his car that was parked right beside where the tiny funeral had taken place.

Once he was sitting in the driver’s seat, he shucked off his jacket to throw it onto the passenger seat, wiping his cheeks to swipe away his tears before running both hands through his damp hair to push it off of his face.

The rain was coming down a little more heavily now, forming a soft ‘pitter-patter’ sound as it fell against the car.

 _“Fuck.”_ He tiredly groaned out to himself as he let his head hit back against the headrest with a rather prominent ‘thunk’ sound. “Fuck this goddamn city! I fucking hate this place.”

Gavin sniffed, slamming his hands against the wheel a few times as he threw another small tantrum, mouthing off at literally nobody but himself.

“I fucking hate you, Nines. You piece o-of fucking shit, I want to bring you back to kill you myself instead. I-I- I need your selfish ass to help me, not fucking _die_ on me!” He yelled before once again, slouching back in his seat, his hands sliding from the wheel to drop at his sides instead as more tears fell down his cheeks.

He could feel the anxiety, the hurt, another fucking breakdown bubbling right below the surface, building up in his chest. He could feel it, like his insides were made up of tectonic plates, friction just fucking building, all ready to come crash together & the earthquake caused would tear him apart.

Right as he drew in a shuddered breath, Gavin’s phone buzzed in his pocket. 

“F-Fuck off.” He muttered to himself as he pulled out his phone, not even bothering to check the screen before throwing it into the backseat. He was sort of waiting to hear the soft thud sound of the phone landing, but it never came.

With a soft frown, Gavin was about to turn around, but froze in place as his phone was held back out to him from between the seats with the screen unlocked & lit up.

Gavin’s whole body stiffened & out of instinct, one of his hands flew to where his holster would have once sat when he was still on the force, even if he hadn’t worn the damn thing in months.

His eyes flickered from the phone to the rear view mirror.

Holy fucking shit.

Holy shit, holy shit, holy sh-

“Holy fucking shit.” Gavin breathed as he took a moment to just stare at that spinning yellow LED in the mirror for what felt like an eternity before quickly turning around in his seat to take in the view properly.

Dressed in the clothes that Gavin had put in the bag he gave to Chloe, there Nines was, stupid fucking DPD sweater included.

After swallowing around the lump that had formed in his throat, that sort of lump that forms right before you burst into tears, Gavin’s eyes flickered down to the phone that was being held out to him.

The screen was illuminated with his & Nines’ text chain, but a fresh bubble was sitting on the screen that had been sent just a few moments prior.

_‘I kind of always expected more than just five people to show up to my funeral.’_

Gavin’s eyes stared at the text until it became blurry with more tears. Only then did he blink them away to look up at Nines’ face, “Is- Are you-”

The gangster first put the phone down on the seat beside him before he shuffled in his seat slightly so he could reach a hand into his pant’s pocket. He pulled out the little note that Gavin had written for him & held it up so he could see it.

 _'Come back to me, 9s, please. ~ xo G’_ Scrawled on a ripped piece of paper, his handwriting messy.

Gavin didn’t think twice. 

He clambered over the centre console & between the seats so he could get into the back of his car, sitting himself perfectly on Nines’ lap with his knees either side of them. Immediately, Gavin’s hands came up to cup Nines’ face, gently smoothing his thumbs over his cheekbones as he looked at him in a total state of disbelief.

He was really fucking there.

“Your scars.” Gavin rasped out & as he opened his mouth again to speak, he realised that he couldn’t actually get any words out. 

Nines looked how he was _supposed_ to look. One singular scar down the one side of his face, piercing grey eyes that looked just as dangerous as always.

Sure, there was now the rapidly spinning LED that refused to leave yellow, but it was _Nines._

More tears welled in Gavin’s eyes & as he tried to blink them away, they just ended up slipping down his cheeks as a stupid, watery smile graced his features.

“Holy shit…” Gavin breathed out in awe as though seeing Nines for the first time all over again. Ironically, ‘holy shit’ were the first words Gavin ever said to him.

It wasn’t exactly like there was necessarily a social norm or tutorial on how to react when your sort-of-boyfriend comes back from the dead.

Or at least, he looked like his sort of boyfriend. 

He had yet to hear him speak.

After bringing a hand up to use his shirt sleeve to rub over one of his eyes to get rid of more tears, Gavin then did the only thing his tired, worn out brain could think of. He stuck his hand out for Nines to shake. “Reed. Gavin Reed.”

The first time they had met, it had all been a fucking lie. ‘Richard Wolf’. Suave, knight in shining fucking armour, saving Gavin from a douchebag on a balcony. 

If only Gavin would have known then what it was he was getting himself into.

Nines smirked ever so slightly, it being lopsided just as it always was due to the scar that sat on his face. Then, he shook Gavin’s hand with a firm grip as he just about whispered out, “Nines. Just Nines.”

If Gavin wasn’t mistaken, it looked as though he was almost hesitant to speak & he knew damn well it wasn’t because he was saying ‘Nines’ rather than ‘Richard’. Gavin got a sense that the hesitance came from the way his voice was so raspy, so mechanical, so barely there at all.

It was so… Broken.

It made Gavin feel guilty. Like Nines’ voice, or lack of one, was all his fault.

His worry & sadness were clearly written across his face, because he saw the way Nines rolled his eyes as he withdrew his hand. Then, for a moment, his LED flickered from yellow to red, then back to yellow again & at the same time, Gavin’s phone vibrated on the seat beside where they were sitting.

He was quick to pick it up & read the text that sat on the screen, knowing full well it was from Nines. He didn’t know how the fuck the android could do it, but his caretaker android could do the exact same thing.

_‘If we are reintroducing ourselves, does this mean you are going to punch me in the face again?’_

Sure, Gavin had his doubts about the technology seeing as it had never been used before, he wasn’t so sure if Nines would really be Nines, if the man would actually have all of his memories, or if he’d be a completely different person.

But with one simple sentence, Gavin’s doubts were washed away.

Nines remembered the first time they ‘officially’ met at that gala. Gavin had accidentally punched him in the face when taking a swing at a different guy.

Nines really was Nines.

Thank fucking shit for that.

Nines, just missing a few pieces. But then again, each time Cyberlife had brought Gavin back from the brink of death, he came back missing parts too.

“No, Dipshit.” Gavin laughed out softly. Then, out of all the things he could have said, the only words he could babble out were, “So, I met Cain today. Not a fan- & before you fuckin’ say it, yeah, I know I’ve met him before, but I also technically met you before that first time. Y’all are fucking terrible people.”

Terrible people that he could have left for dead, but didn’t.

He could have killed Cain, but he didn’t. He could have left Nines to rot, but he didn’t.

He could have gone back to his old life… He could have tried.

But he didn’t.

He had lost too much to smile & pretend like he could do things right.

“Mhm.” Was all Nines responded with & even that was static laced. A tiny smirk toyed at his lips as he slowly ran his hands along Gavin’s thighs before they came to a halt at his hips, resting comfortably there instead.

“Now I’m-” One of Nines’ hands moved so he could gesture to himself as he paused his whispered words in favour of letting out a synthetic cough. It was such a human instinct, as though the cough would help to clear his throat & get his voice back. “-This fucking thing.”

Gavin was quick to shoot his left hand out, grabbing Nines’ & interlacing their fingers. “Don’t fuckin’ say that.” He murmured softly, before leaning in to close that gap between them before Nines could say something else just as unappreciative.

It was almost impossible to miss the way Nines’ grip on his left hand tightened as he kissed the android. Open mouthed & messy, none of that chaste bullshit that was reserved for anything that was so much kinder than whatever the fuck it was that they had.

After taking a moment to register, Nines’ free hand that was on his hip moved so he could tangle his fingers into Gavin’s hair on the back of his head instead. He clutched at it as he kissed Gavin back with a desperation that matched his own.

The nanites on Gavin’s left hand began to crawl back to reveal his gun-metal grey framework beneath as he kissed the gangster, little interface options popping up in his vision.

Nines made a soft sound as he pulled back slightly, Gavin also breaking the kiss in favour of actually fucking breathing. As he did, Nines’ eyes drifted down to where he was clutching onto Gavin’s hand, the synthetic skin on the android’s hand also peeled back, but the framework that lay beneath was sleek & white, all plating fit together absolutely flawlessly.

Nines fixed him with a puzzled look, one that was his way of asking what an interface was, without the need for words. 

Gavin got a feeling that Nines already knew seeing as he had a fucking computer in his head, he just wanted to hear Gavin explain it.

“An interface-?” He asked quietly & when Nines simply nodded, Gavin continued, “-It’s like… Uh, I dunno, a literal mind fuck. Androids do it. You can get in my head, y’know? But I can get in yours at the same time.”

“No shit?” Nines breathed out in a distorted little whisper. He had a devious little smirk on his face as those silvery eyes slowly flickered up to meet Gavin’s, to which Gavin was quick to yank his left hand away with a shake of his head. 

“Nope! No fuckin’ way! I don’t trust your criminal ass to get in my head. You gotta earn that fuckin’ privilege, Mister.” Gavin grumbled, poking his finger right at Nines’ chest as the nanites slowly began to crawl back over his chassis to hide it once again. “No interfaces, alright?”

Gavin didn’t have an awful lot of boundaries when it came to Nines, fuck, that much was abundantly clear. But he needed to have at least _one_ thing that was his & his alone. One thing that they could build a genuine trust off of that didn’t involve fucking bullets & lies.

One thing that their relationship could build up to.

If Nines wanted an interface? If he really wanted to get into Gavin’s head? The guy had to fucking earn it first. He had to show that he wasn’t just going to hop in there & use anything he learnt to his advantage, using it as some form of blackmail to manipulate Gavin with later.

He needed to trust Gavin & in return, Gavin would trust him too.

After a long silence between them, Nines finally repeated back in that hushed, barely there tone, “No interfaces.”

Gavin appreciated that despite the clear discomfort that Nines was in, he still opted to say certain things. Something about him choosing to audibly agree with Gavin’s wishes helped to reinforce that the man meant what he was saying.

There was a part of Gavin that wanted to ask about Nines’ lack of voice, ask if he knew why it was just a barely there whisper that Gavin could only hear thanks to his upgraded hearing. But he knew deep down if he pointed it out, Nines would block him out completely. His defensive walls would come up & whatever it was that they were working towards, it would be ruined.

He had seen the way Nines got self conscious over the scars that were once on his face when Gavin had looked at him for too long when they were on that parking lot ledge. He was going to safely assume the man would be just as self conscious over his voice. Or lack of one.

Speaking of which, that ever so quiet, completely distorted voice leaned in to murmur right against Gavin’s ear, “Can I at least carry on analysing your mouth?”

With his lips that close to Gavin’s ear, it sent a little shiver down his spine & he decided that he didn’t fucking care how raspy or distorted the android’s voice was. He didn’t care if it was static laced, almost not there at all, because Nines could fucking say anything & it’d get Gavin going.

“Was that some weird fucking robot pick-up line?” He asked through an ever so quiet huff of laughter.

“Depends. Did it work?"

Gavin just rolled his eyes as he muttered, ‘analyse this’ before crashing their lips together again so he could force his tongue into Nines’ mouth. He ran it over the android’s before feeling along his perfectly set teeth with a soft little groan.

As they kissed, Gavin couldn’t help but let his mind stray to how it felt kissing an android rather than a human. The only way he could describe it was like it felt as though someone had only been told how a human mouth should feel, without actually ever kissing one before.

It was so very _almost_ accurate to a human’s, but his lips were a little too smooth, his tongue a little too noticeably fake, his spit a little more artificial. 

That didn’t stop Gavin from deepening the kiss as pressed himself impossibly closer to the android, feeling those hands slowly begin to roam along his body before finding their way to his tie. 

One hand wrapped around the base of his tie to yank Gavin even closer before easily undoing it & tossing it aside. Gavin’s eyes fluttered shut as he broke the kiss, only so he could bite down on Nines’ lower lip, earning an ever so soft, mechanical moan from the android who was working on getting Gavin’s shirt buttons undone.

Once his shirt was unbuttoned, Nines’ hands slid up along his sides & to his chest, thumbs brushing over the little metal bars that Gavin had in both of his nipples, causing his breath to hitch in his throat.

For a moment, Gavin wanted to grab Nines’ hands & stop him before he felt over the scarring that spanned across his ribs & shoulder from the fire, but stopped when he realised he just wanted to toy with his piercings.

Nines always did like his nipple piercings.

Gavin pulled back from where he was sucking on Nines’ lip, beginning to taste the distinct metallic, chemical taste of thirium & fluttered his eyes open to gaze lovingly down at the android.

“Fuck…” Gavin whispered as he saw the way the synthetic skin on Nines’ face around his mouth had receded back ever so slightly, the nanites shimmering as they tried to dance back in place along his chin. The tiniest amount of thirium seeped out of the little wound Gavin had caused on the android’s lip from his rather harsh bite.

Nines went to duck his face in an almost shy manner, his hands frozen in place against Gavin’s chest, but Gavin was quick to cup his chin, a coy little smile tugging at his features. He then swiped his thumb over Nines’ lower lip to collect the thirium before dipping it into the android’s mouth.

“Fuck… Look at you.” Gavin murmured softly, that little grin not leaving his face as Nines slowly sucked the blue blood from this thumb. “At least now I can see I have an effect on your stoic ass.”

The moment Nines pulled back from his thumb, about to bite back defensively, Gavin cut him off by working on getting him out of that fucking DPD sweater he was still wearing.

Nines helped the process along by tugging it off the rest of the way, his hair completely falling out of line in the process. He tossed the sweater onto the seat beside them along with Gavin’s shirt as he tugged it the rest of the way off of his shoulders.

That was when Gavin sort of froze in place.

Nobody had seen the new scars that were across the human side of his body. Nobody except his caretaker, Jackson. Who, he hadn’t seen in months.

Gavin swallowed around the lump in his throat, diverting his gaze as he felt one of Nines’ soft hands ever so gently run up along his right bicep to his shoulder, fingers softly gliding over the scarring that sat there.

The android then moved his hands to rest them on Gavin’s sides, thumbs rubbing over his skin in a soothing, gentle manner. “Still _my_ Red.” Nines whispered in that tiny voice of his against where he planted a few little kisses to his shoulder.

It was only a tiny comment, but one that was enough to bolster his confidence just enough to kick him back into the swing of what they were getting up to.

Gavin leaned in, starting to kiss all along Nines’ jawline & neck as he murmured, “Come on,take it off,” his hands sliding up the android’s perfectly crafted stomach, then along his chest so he could make quick work of unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing.

He paused where he was trying his damndest to leave a hickey on Nines’ neck, knowing full well that he wouldn’t be able to when he heard the tiniest of whispers, “What? My clothes? Or the n-nanites-?”

Despite the way the words had a little smirk tugging at Gavin’s lips, he couldn’t shake the thought in the back of his mind that they needed a better way to communicate than through Nines’ barely there words.

It wasn’t fair that Nines was in clear discomfort every time he tried to speak, having to force the words out just so Gavin could hear him.

So, after taking a moment to push down his thoughts before they could overtake him, Gavin used his hands to sign out, ‘both’. 

The only reason he even knew ASL was because of having to communicate with Emma when she was around other people. Gavin had spent endless days back to back learning everything he could so he could understand what she had to say when they were not alone.

Honestly? Gavin never thought he’d be using his hands to speak again & the little action had a sort of melancholy feeling settling into the pit of his stomach.

He just hoped that since Nines now had a computer in his brain, that he could understand what it was that Gavin was saying.

Thankfully, he did, if the little smirk was anything to go by. Not just that, but he had a feeling that Nines could see the sadness that was creeping up on him, because the android was quick to gently cup his cheeks & plant a kiss to his nose, then to his lips.

A little more gentle than what they were usually accustomed to, but in that moment, Gavin needed it to drag his ass back to the present.

Once Gavin had bottled up his emotions again, shoving his past as far down as it could go so he didn’t have to face it, just like what he did with everything else, he masked it by getting back to kissing & nipping at Nines’ jaw.

Just like always, he hid his pain away & focused on the momentary distraction in front of him.

There wasn’t exactly that much room to work with in Gavin’s car, but that didn’t stop one thing leading to the next. 

Once Nines’ pistol was moved from where it was tucked into the back of his pants, it was thrown along with the rest of their clothes that were hastily tugged off onto the seat beside them.

Gavin momentarily paused what they were doing in favour of reaching between the seats to grab lube from the glovebox; because if being with Nines had taught him one thing, it was to always keep lube handy. He also took his necklace off to hide it in the glovebox.

He went to reach for a condom too, but decided against it because fuck, Nines was an _android_ now.

After being sufficiently prepped by Nines’ fingers, the android taking his time to be sure Gavin was okay every so often, the ex-detective ended up right back on Nines’ lap again. He was clutching onto his shoulders, slowly sinking down onto his cock until he was sat flush in his lap, taking the android up to the hilt.

Gavin had dropped his forehead to rest against Nines’ shoulder as his mouth fell open, breathy little moans tumbling out as he took his time to adjust to the android’s length. 

Fuck, it’d been a long time since he had sex & fuck if he hadn’t missed it. Missed being so close to _Nines._ He missed kissing him & not feeling like Nines was only using his care towards him to gain some form of advantage.

But this? This felt right.

Everywhere that Gavin kissed along Nines’ shoulder, along his neck & jawline, the nanites that made up his synthetic skin crawled back to let him see the chassis beneath.

_Nines was letting him in._

Shame all it took was fucking dying & coming back as an android. But at least he wasn’t trying to hide who he was now. So in return, Gavin let the nanites crawl away around his left leg. He let them crawl away from around his hip & arm, the dark grey framework with neon pastel blue detailing shining through.

With both of his hands clutching Gavin’s hips so fucking tightly that he was sure there would be bruises left on his right one, he watched the way Nines visibly raked his eyes along his leg & up along his arm.

“Holy shit, Red.” The android breathed out, voice raspy & heavy with static. He looked as though he was trying to not speak, but couldn’t stop the words from tumbling from his lips.

It had a warm, funny feeling settling into Gavin’s gut. Like only he could have Nines in so much awe that he couldn’t stop the tiny words from falling from his lips.

One hand slowly reached up so Nines could trail the tips of his fingers along the little blue creases where the carbon-fibre plating fit together on his bicep.

The rain was coming down much harder now, creating a constant, ambient background sound & running along the windows, blurring out the world around them.

It acted like a curtain, hiding them away from the fact they were still parked in a fucking cemetery, literally just a few steps away from where Gavin had buried Nines’ human body.

Shielding them away from everything but each other.

“Fuck… Fuck, even as an android, your dick feels pretty fuckin’ great, y’know that? We haven’t even properly started yet.” Gavin laughed. A breathy sound as he raised his head from where it was resting against the android’s shoulder to watch Nines’ face as he experimentally rolled his hips a few times. It earned him the gorgeous sight of Nines dropping his head back against the headrest, little static laced moans leaving him before he could stop them.

But the moment he heard those moans, heard just how mechanical they sounded, one of Nines’ hands flew to his mouth & he bit down on one of his knuckles to try to keep himself quiet. His other hand clutched onto Gavin’s hip harder to hold him still.

“Hey… Nines? Nines, look at me…” Gavin murmured softly, pushing aside his own arousal & need to just ride Nines senseless in favour of actually making sure his sort-of-boyfriend was okay.

Gently, he reached a hand up to wrap around Nines’ wrist, pulling his hand from his mouth & leaned in to plant a soft kiss to that LED that had cycled to red the moment Gavin had got into his lap.

Nines’ eyes met Gavin’s, narrowing into a rather defensive glare that only he could pull off so flawlessly with someone sitting on his fucking dick.

_Asshole._

“Listen… You’re still Nines. _My_ Nines. You sound perfect, alright? You look just as perfect.” 

‘Still my Nines’. Just like how Nines had said ‘Still my Red’ earlier.

Gavin trailed a hand along Nines’ shoulder, fingers sliding across his smooth framework where the nanites were slowly beginning to crawl back in place. “I’m just so fucking glad I got you back, I don’t give a fuck if there’s some… technical difficulties. You don’t have to fucking use your voice, alright?”

Gavin offered a cheeky smirk at his comment about ‘technical difficulties’, hoping that it was just _Gavin_ enough to have Nines realising that yeah, sure, he didn’t sound the same, but fuck if he was going to let the distortion in his voice stop him from being so fucking overjoyed that the prick was actually fucking alive.

Who the fuck cared if Nines’ voice was broken? Practically all of Gavin had been broken & rebuilt. He wasn’t exactly one to judge.

They had other ways of communicating, Nines never had to speak a single word again.

Thankfully, if Nines’ little smirk was anything to go by, then his stupid comment & reassurance actually worked.

The android slipped one arm around Gavin’s lower back, his other hand slowly sliding up to grip the back of his neck as he ever so slowly began to rock his hips up into Gavin.

Gavin was so used to everything they had being so fast & rough, so full of adrenaline that there wasn’t a moment spare to actually think about what they were doing until it was done. 

So moving this slow felt almost foreign, but at the same time, it was exactly what he needed. He needed something that he was in control of, a situation that he knew exactly what was happening. So he could focus on the good, all the while being aware of his surroundings without having to worry.

He focused on the way Nines felt. How he filled him just perfectly, the stretch & friction having brought tears to his eyes, but tears that he welcomed. He focused on the way that tiny, barely there voice rasped out, “Fucking ‘technical difficulties’,” beneath his breath through a distorted moan.

“What?” Gavin drawled with a little smirk through a string of breathy, rugged moans. He wrapped his arms around Nines, clutching onto him as the android began to pick up the pace, using his new found strength to his advantage so he could hold Gavin in place. “You gonna fry your circuits?”

Nines fixed him with a glare, only moving his hands so he could sign out something that was essentially along the lines of, ‘Do you ever shut the fuck up during sex?’ before situating his hands exactly where they were before.

“I’m just sa-”

“Shut up.” Nines quipped back & despite the distortion in his raspy tone, there was still such noticeable emotion to it. He heard the feigned irritation & somehow, the fucker still managed to pull off that seductive edge. It left Gavin selfishly craving more, even though he knew he wouldn’t get it.

Just to be sure Gavin stayed quiet, Nines bucked up his hips, slamming his cock right against Gavin’s prostate & elicited a rather surprised yelp that quickly morphed into a loud moan from the man straddling his lap.

One of Gavin’s hands flew out to clutch onto the back of the seat for support, his nails on his other hand digging into Nines’ back as he let his head drop back slightly, giving Nines access to his neck.

He knew damn well that Nines wouldn’t be able to resist marking him up, so the moment that Gavin’s head fell back, damp lips parted, the android promptly buried his face against Gavin’s neck. He felt those teeth graze his skin gently before he bit down hard.

Right where Gavin’s neck met his shoulder, pain bloomed along it as Nines’ teeth sank in, strategically muffling those little static laced moans in the process.

 _“F-Fuck!_ Fuck, Nines.” Gavin rasped, his eyes fluttering shut as he savoured the sensations that were coursing through his veins & circuits. The pain in his neck from the bite only served to make his cock ache more, precum already beading at the head as he continued to rock his hips.

Despite the harshness of Nines’ bite, he made up for it by gently drawing his tongue over the bite mark as though to ease the burn that his teeth had left behind. He always did. 

But the moment Nines pulled back, he heard the way his voice crackled as he gasped, his brows knitting together in almost strain as he bit down on his own lip.

Gavin immediately slowed the pace that he was rocking his hips at, focusing his eyes on the android below him to be sure he was okay.

“Nines?” He whispered ever so softly to try to draw the gangster’s attention back to him. Nines didn’t have to speak with his words, he didn’t need to use his voice, because when Gavin blinked through the little boxes that wanted to overwhelm his vision, he could see everything Nines was feeling through actions.

Nines’ eyebrows stayed pulled tightly together, his hands clutching onto Gavin’s hips impossibly harder that it _hurt._

“You alright, babe? You good?” Gavin’s voice hitched, his own broken, but for a completely different reason. He rose himself ever so slowly, holding onto Nines’ shoulders for dear fucking life, using them to balance his motions.

He stayed still until the android nodded his head with that ever so slight smirk at the corner of his mouth as he tilted his head back so dazed, silver eyes could lock contact with Gavin’s. 

Every time Nines looked at him, Gavin became more & more convinced that it was the most stunning fucking thing he’d ever see.

Nines nodded again, looking as though he were about to speak, but no words came out. Gavin didn’t mind, he didn’t care if Nines could never speak again like he used to, he didn’t care if the man only said one word here & there, he’d just be damn grateful for the ones that he did get.

That thought brought the faintest of smiles to Gavin’s face as he slowly began to move his hips again. He leaned forward to plant little kisses all along that perfectly crafted jaw of his, showering Nines in a gentle affection just to show how fucking glad he was that he found his way back to him.

Together, pressed as close to one another as they could be, clutching onto each other & having their synthetic skin recede under their hands, they worked up a rather fucking fantastic pace.

Nothing too hard, nothing too fast. It was enough to have Gavin gasping & practically whining out his moans, while still being enough for Nines to keep up with given the new sensations his body had to grow accustomed to.

He just hoped that they had found the perfect middle ground that wouldn’t have Nines getting too overwhelmed. There was a sort of intricate art to trying to keep things perfect when it was so easy to overload their hypersensitive sensors.

Gavin would know. 

So many times, it got too much. Enough that it’d drive him into a panic attack because he struggled to keep everything that was going on in his head in some sort of controlled order. 

He still didn’t have a perfect handle on things & doubted that he ever would.

He supposed cheating death one too many times would have some adverse effects.

So when Nines’ face morphed from pleasure to slight discomfort, from discomfort to strain again, Gavin stopped their motions almost instantly upon realising that perhaps they had gotten a little too ahead of things.

Sure, they had the perfect pace, but what was going on in Gavin’s brain wouldn’t be the same as Nines’.

He settled still, comfortably on Nines’ lap, the android still seated fully inside of him as an involuntary shiver crept up his spine.

“Babe? Nines… Look at me…” Gavin found himself saying again & despite his rough voice, he tried to keep his tone as soft as he could. Gently, he cupped Nines’ face, thumbs running over his cheekbones.

For once, Nines actually listened to Gavin, doing as he was told as silver-blue eyes flickered up to hold his gaze.

Fuck, that look really should not do things to his stomach like it had, but he couldn’t fucking help it. He was too fucking pretty, spinning red LED included.

It was still absolutely hammering it down outside & with the way the rain was pouring down the windows, it dimmed the lighting. Which, in turn, had Nines looking less like the ruthless, downright fucking scary gangster he was known to be & had him looking more soft. Sad, almost.

Gavin forcefully softened his own expression, realising that his jaw was still tight, brows knit together & waited patiently for Nines to collect his thoughts. He kept his hips still, hands cupping Nines’ face to hold his eye contact as he murmured, “You sound so fuckin’ perfect..” 

He wasn’t sure if Nines was getting self conscious again or not, but the overwhelming need to just comfort him when he looked so lost was something that Gavin would never be able to shake.

“Of course-” Nines began, but paused with a swallow that wasn’t necessary before adding on in that same whisper, but with a bit of a bite to his tone, “-Of course _you’d_ be enjoying it.”

His eyes narrowed in an almost dangerous manner & for a second, it had Gavin faltering before he finally found his words, “Hey… What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You’re not?”

Once again, if Gavin had any doubt that Nines was really Nines, they were washed away relatively quickly seeing as only _he_ could turn into a top notch prick during sex.

In that same regard, only Gavin could tell that the man was masking whatever he was really feeling with hostilities & sarcasm.

After all, Gavin was the reigning fucking champion in that category.

After a long silence, one where Gavin was convinced that Nines was trying to decide whether he could get away with being more sarcastically hostile or not, the android finally managed to rasp out, “It’s… _A lot_.”

Those words sat heavily in the air between them for a few moments as the patches of Nines’ chassis that were on show all began to hide away as the nanites crawled back into place.

Those words were what made Gavin put a complete stop to what they were doing.

He stopped not because they were very well on their way to making a mess in his car in a fucking cemetery of all places, not because he had just buried Nines’ human body, leaving the people who cared about the man to believe he was gone for good; but because it suddenly dawned fully on him that Nines was having to process absolutely everything through the eyes & mind of an android.

Nines had to process so much already & Gavin was only adding to that by them having sex.

Gavin had gotten a sort of adjustment period. Little pieces of him had been replaced over time. Whereas Nines was having to deal with it all at once.

Ever so slowly, with his hands dropping to once again grip Nines’ shoulders, Gavin slowly raised himself up off of the android’s lap, a soft hiss escaping his lips at the friction. 

He planted a kiss to Nines’ nose before settling down beside him instead, tugging on his DPD sweater, “How about…” Gavin began, but paused in favour of shuffling around a little to get more comfortable.

The android just watched him closely, LED cycling that same nervous red.

He leaned against the back door, resting his legs on Nines’ thighs with his synthetic skin still peeled back on his left leg. It was a sort of silent communication, a show of his trust towards Nines. Gavin had never even seen the chassis on his own leg until he let all of his nanites crawl away for Nines to see.

Once the android’s hands were gently resting on Gavin’s shins, his fingers delicately running along the ridges in the plating on his left leg, Gavin finished his sentence, “...How about we just- Look, Nines, we, uh, let’s just take this shit slow, alright? I know we haven’t exactly ever done that before & fuck, I know your fucked up ass totally wants to fuck by your own grave, plus, I know slow isn’t really our thing, but-”

Gavin cut himself with a soft, irritated groan at his inability to properly find his words & gestured to the space between them, the sleeves of his sweater covering most of his hands. “You’ve got me, y’know? You put me through hell, you son of a bitch, but you’ve got me. I’m here.”

_I’m staying. You’ve got your hooks in me & you know it. So open up to me, Nines, even if it isn’t with words. _

He hoped it was enough, god, he hoped it was. Gavin didn’t exactly have much to offer besides himself & even then, he wasn’t all there. But he just wanted so badly for Nines to see that despite the shit they’ve been through, despite the hurt & despite all the drastic changes, he was going to be there for the gangster through & through. 

In response, Nines just offered Gavin the tiniest of smiles, his LED flickering from red to yellow. 

That in itself was a start.

“You don’t have to use your voice, babe. You can use your hands, hell, you can just flip me off if it makes you feel better.”

As Gavin chuckled ever so softly at his own comment, the tension that was in the air around them slowly began to melt away as Nines finally stopped hiding behind his defensive walls of sarcasm & trying to hide his uncertainties. After all, android body or not, he was still fucking _human._

After a moment of catching their breath, Gavin grabbed Nines’ boxers & helped the android into them once both of their bodies had slowly settled back down after their half-finished sex. 

_Guess I really did fry your circuits, huh?_ Gavin wanted to say, but he kept it to himself knowing full well it’d only earn him more of those glares that Nines was so fucking good at throwing at him.

From there, they carefully helped one another back into their clothes, Nines taking his time to marvel at Gavin’s leg a little more before he finally covered his framework back up again.

Once they were both fully clothed, they still sat in the back of Gavin’s car. Nines was leaning into Gavin’s side as Gavin held the gangster’s gun between his hands. His thumbs ran along all of the intricate detailing that was engraved into it as Nines finally whispered, “Red…? I’m sor-”

“Nines, don’t.” Gavin cut him off with a shake of his head, eyes never leaving where they were fixed to the details on the one of a kind pistol. “No more apologies, alright? You fucking suck at them & I hate them. So no more. The only person who’ll be sorry is Amanda. For putting a fucking bullet in your chest.”

The android slowly sat up from where he was resting his head on Gavin’s shoulder, fixing him with an unreadable look. His eyes flickered down to his pistol, then back to Gavin’s face. 

“You want revenge, right?”

Nines just nodded.

Gavin smirked. Something dark & the type of smirk that was more fitting to be seen on Nines than it would be on Gavin, but fuck what Connor said. Amanda deserved everything that he knew Nines would do to her if he could get his hands on her & Gavin knew _exactly_ where she would be.

One last plan. One more. This time? There would be no fucking way things could go wrong. Nines couldn’t be killed & Gavin? Well, he had a goddamn six foot two terminator to hide behind if shit got messy.

Plus, if Elijah was going to be at that fucking masquerade ball that Connor had told Gavin about? All Gavin had to do was use Nines’ anger towards Amanda to get them both in & he could find Elijah himself. Make him pay for what he did to Emma.

Gavin was going to leave Detroit. But not before making his runaway worth it.

“We can still leave. You promised me we could leave after I got what I wanted, remember?” Gavin asked softly, twirling the gun around his finger before wrapping his hand around the barrel, offering the handle for Nines to take.

Nines nodded again as his hand wrapped around the handle of his pistol. He went to open his mouth to say something, but closed it again upon realising that his words would be all distorted.

“Fuck this city. Your bitch of a mother didn’t show up to your funeral because she was too busy drinking champagne at a fucking masquerade ball with my brother. Probably shaking hands in front of cameras to look like they don’t want to kill one another. Fucking fakes, all of them.” 

Gavin let go of the barrel of Nines’ pistol, the gangster taking it & after inspecting the detailing too, he tucked it back into the back of his pants. 

For a moment, there was a strange weight to the atmosphere between them, he watched the way Nines’ LED cycled slowly, for barely a second it flickered to a pale blue before returning to yellow. Finally, Nines just about managed to whisper out in spite of the scratchiness that sat in his throat, “You want to… Well, well, Red, you want to kill your own brother.”

A dark look flittered across Nines’ eyes as he so spoke so bluntly despite his broken voice, one of his hands coming up to cup Gavin’s cheek.

Gavin could see the absolutely unmissable pride that overtook the dark look in the android’s eyes & he knew damn well that Nines all but thrived off of Gavin caving into the worst side of him.

Obviously he’d enjoy seeing Gavin that way.

“Mhm. I’ll… _Deal_ with Elijah. You have Amanda. Then we leave for good. Leave with me.” That last sentence came out as an almost beg, but he needed Nines in his life for good. He didn’t want to lose him all over again.

Gavin closed the gap between them & kissed Nines over & over, one of his hands gently resting against Nines’ chest so he could feel the soft thrum of the android’s regulator beating. “Leave with me.” He whispered against Nines’ lips.

It’s not exactly like they could stay in Detroit even if they wanted to. Good fuckin’ job that Gavin wanted to be far, far, far away from this god forsaken fucking city.

‘Where?’ Nines signed back before leaning back in so his lips could ghost over Gavin’s.

The simple question sent a spark of hope through Gavin that he was so sure had been rained on & burnt out. It flickered back to life somewhere deep within his chest, ready to Nines to either pour gasoline all over or stamp out.

_Where?_

Gavin said the first place that came to mind. The only place that ever came to mind every single time he said he needed a goddamn vacation, the place that he dreamt about, dreaming of the lights along the pier at night. Dreams that he always hoped one day would be a reality.

He said the one place that could be his saving grace from the hellhole known as Detroit.

“Santa Monica.”

There was an almost genuine surprise sitting in those steel eyes of Nines’, as though out of all the places that he expected Gavin to say, California wasn’t on the list.

Gavin nodded once as if affirming his words as he reached a hand up to brush his thumb over that yellow LED. “Yeah. You contact some of your guys there that I damn well know you have, or something, we work over there, under the radar. Just the two of us.”

_Just the two of us._

Gavin was willing to work with Nines, doing whatever the fuck the man’s life entailed, leave everything behind, just on the slim goddamn hope that Nines was willing to stay by his side. 

So much had changed since he had met ‘Richard Wolf’ all that time ago. He had changed, he had lost so fucking much that mattered to him & now?

Now Gavin had the chance to get the revenge that he wanted.

Gavin had the chance to show exactly who he really was. 

Who he had been turned into.

Because the more of him that was taken away, the more of his morals went along with it. It was like the darker his framework got, the darker his thoughts got too

Nines was there to watch it all happen, getting exactly what he wanted all along. 

The gangster’s hand cupped Gavin’s cheek as he looked at him with an adoration Gavin only ever saw when he was giving in to his worst desires, or when Nines was looking at what kept Gavin running.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He muttered quietly, diverting his eyes for a moment in favour of glancing to the rain that was still running down the condensation covered windows. 

When Nines’ hand dropped from Gavin’s cheek, he returned his gaze to the android as he signed out, ‘Like what?’

For a moment, there was a brief silence, one of which consisted of Gavin trying to properly collect his thoughts. But before he could bite his tongue, the words were already falling from his mouth.

“Like you love me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to upload the next chapter in a few days. Thanks so much to those who have stuck around this long & followed these troublesome boys with me, I appreciate the love & any comments & kudos given T.T <33


	18. No Turning Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the funeral, Gavin came to the realisation that Cain wasn't the man he was truly angry at. Yes, Cain was the one who pushed him from that ledge, but a lot of Gavin's anger stems from the pain his body causes him on a daily basis. Pain that only exists because of Elijah Kamski.  
> Him & Nines set out to seek their revenge on the people that used them as test subjects for their own maniacal whims.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has been both hell & so much fun to write, if you stuck around for all 190K words of it, left kudos or comments, thank you! It means so, so much.  
> Just figured I'd give a lil heads up: there is a p brutal fight between Gavin & an android about halfway through, so just read with caution if that may cause any discomfort.
> 
> Feel free to skip my ramblings in the notes, but I just wanted to say a huge thank you to my beta reader, my own personal [Cap,](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacebiotics) without you, I'd be a disaster, as would this fic. So for all the times you've rewritten scenes, listened to me rant, helped me with plots & dialogues as well as fixing up my mistakes, thank you so fuckin' much & I do hope you like the nod to your big bad OC in this chapter;)  
> I highly recommend checking out her stories! They are fantastic.
> 
> I have an epilogue written for this, but I don't think I'll upload it unless I can turn it into a oneshot that would take place after this story's end. If you'd like to know more, then you are more than welcome to message me on [tumblr.](https://mechabones.tumblr.com/)  
> I also added some art to show how I imagine the boys to look in this chapter! If you can't view it in the story, you can see it [here!](https://bandolierbandit.tumblr.com/post/627902397883318272/these-violent-delights-a-190k-sci-fi-mafiaau)  
> With all of that said & done, I'd love to hear thoughts on the ending of this fic, so let me know what you thought of it (even if you hated it!)   
> From the bottom of my cold, dead heart, thanks so much for any love, it really does mean a lot. To the people who have constantly cheered me on, I love y'all, but if I talk anymore & list all of you, I think I might run out of note space<3

_'These violent delights, have violent ends, & in their triumph die, like fire & powder. Which, as they kiss, consume.'_

_~ Friar Lawrence - Romeo & Juliet_

“I look fucking ridiculous.” Gavin grumbled to himself from where he was standing in front of a full body mirror, his shaky hands trying to tie the bowtie without it sitting crooked. 

A goddamn fucking _bowtie!_

Last time he wore one of those was, well… Was when he first met Nines. It was weird how things sort of came full circle.

Gavin was dressed in tight black dress pants, a white button down tucked into them with a black waistcoat over the top. The waistcoat had a silk red pocket square at Nines’ request. He was adamant that Gavin was to have some red on him due to his nickname for him.

His bowtie even fucking matched, it having red detailing that was stitched into the fabric & he was even being made to wear actual fucking fancy shoes rather than his sneakers, which, by the fucking way, had red soles to them.

Also Nines’ doing. Not his. Nines had been _very_ adamant that Gavin was to tell North about wanting the red accents to his attire. He had even told Gavin a brief story about how he had seen a man dressed in red soled shoes once who acted like he owned the place, said they’d suit the rest of what Gavin was wearing.

Jesus fucking Christ, he really was a dress up doll for Nines to play with.

He had even fucking shaved. Well, not completely, but he was representing a five o’clock shadow rather than an almost-beard. His hair had been neatly slicked back but he had pettily tugged a few strands out of line to have them fall over his forehead.

Gavin hadn’t been standing in front of that mirror for all that long. 

After they left the cemetery, they both realised that they actually needed to dress the part to be able to get into the ball without raising suspicion.

That realisation led them to a weirdly quiet, brief argument that consisted of Gavin sighing & grumbling while Nines signed what he was trying to say. They eventually settled when they realised that they were just wasting more time by arguing.

They couldn’t risk being seen at either one of their apartments, so instead, they settled on going to North.

It had sort of dawned on Gavin that he didn’t even think Nines owned an apartment. He just kind of thought that the prick broke into Gavin’s whenever the fuck he felt like it & then spent the rest of his time sleeping in his office. Either that, or causing no end of problems that ended up in him getting paid at the end of it.

After earning another one of those death glares at voicing that, they made their way towards the address that Nines directed him to.

This plan made more sense, there was a higher chance of survival.

Unless North killed them first.

“You? Ridiculous?! How do you think I fucking feel? I just- I just cried tears for that prick in there & he isn’t even dead!” North shouted as she forcefully turned Gavin around by his shoulders, nimble fingers slapping his hands away before she fixed his bowtie for him in seconds flat.

It was also Nines’ suggestion that they went to North.

Gavin had originally argued that they shouldn’t tell anyone about Nines not being dead & that they should just contact Chloe for help instead.

But that was until Gavin realised that they needed a change of clothes. That they would also need the _right_ clothes & that their time was limited. He also realised that he’d have to explain to Chloe both _why_ he wanted the clothes & why Nines wasn’t out of Detroit yet.

On such a small time limit with no other alternate options, North it was.

Gavin had phoned her as he drove them towards the studio apartment that Nines had given him directions to. He practically begged her to meet him there, but to be alone & be sure nobody questioned where she was going.

Thankfully, North actually trusted him just enough to meet them there in the more quiet part of the city, despite how cryptic he was being.

The woman had somehow beat them there & the moment they showed up, Nines standing slightly behind Gavin, still wearing that stupid fucking DPD sweater on but with the hood pulled up to avoid being spotted by anyone when they had to walk up to the door, Gavin very nearly earned yet another punch to the face.

The look of pure fucking anger that sat on North’s face when she pulled them both into her apartment & slammed the door shut was unmatched.

Once she had finished shouting her head off right in Gavin’s face, she finally allowed him to explain everything. From what happened to Nines, to what they were planning. From the clothes they’d need & where they were heading once they were done.

North agreed to help them out once they got out of Detroit as well. After learning that Nines wouldn’t be able to use his voice anymore, she would be the one who would arrange for them to work in California.

Nines really did have ties to people all over the States, not just in Detroit.

Take Gavin back to a year & a half ago & he would have done almost anything to get that type of information. He would have done anything in his power to take out Detroit’s crime families & to find out the ties they had with other organised crime around the country.

Now though? It almost humoured him how he thought he could make the world a better place with nothing more than a badge & a gun.

Once everything was explained, North had disappeared out for a short while to get them the attire that they would need for the ball. Perks of her owning the Eden Club? She had a fucking backlog of freaky, kinky toys & clothes, so a few masquerade masks were nothing.

As they waited for North to return, Nines had signed, ‘Do you trust me?’

Obviously, Gavin replied with, “Not really, no,” which earned him an amused huff of air through Nines’ nose followed up by a shake of his head. 

He supposed in a way, he did trust Nines; he trusted him with the dark parts of him, with knowing about his body, not that he really had a choice. Nines was who he turned to when everything else just felt fucking hopeless, because the man’s ruthless nature was something Gavin had learnt to love.

After all, Gavin loved Nines for everything he hated him for.

But that trust was on thin fucking ice. 

Nines then signed out, ‘Don’t panic’.

Before Gavin even had the fucking chance to ask what the fuck that was supposed to mean, it felt like his skull was imploding. It felt like those headaches he used to get before Cyberlife tampered with his fucking head.

He brought his hands up to clutch at his hair as he bowed his head, screwing his eyes shut as though that’d help to alleviate the way it felt like his heart was pounding in his skull, trying to crack it open from the inside out.

“F-Fuck! Fuck, Nines, what the f-fuck are you doing?!” He practically cried out as he tugged at his hair, knuckles turning white. Tears brimmed Gavin’s eyes & slipped down his cheeks before he could stop them, but as quickly as the pain was there, it was gone.

The static faded out into a distant background buzz & the pain was replaced with scrambled up lines of code along with the odd error message that sat behind his eyes.

Once he pushed those away though, there sat a little box with slightly distorted writing in it, but it was writing that Gavin could make out nonetheless.

_‘I told you not to panic.’_

“Y-You’re in my fucking head?!” Gavin practically yelled in Nines’ face as he made quick work of swiping the tears off of his face. He saw the way that LED was spinning at the android’s temple, fighting between yellow & red, but red seemed to be the champion.

“I told you, no, Nines! No fucking interfaces! You don’t get to see my fucking memor-”

Gavin’s sentence fell short as another little box popped up. 

_‘I can’t access your memories, Red. Think of this as a text chain.’_

“In my head?!” Gavin groaned out as he flopped back against the couch, allowing himself to be eaten up by the corner & the cushions that were way too easy to get stuck in. His hands came up to scrub over his face as a soft, frustrated groan left his lips.

_Fucking androids._

“You fucking promise me that you can’t do anything else.” Gavin demanded as his hands fell from his face so he could glare right at the android that was standing before him. “Fucking promise me, Nines!”

_‘I promise.’_

So once North returned & they had changed into their suits, that was how Nines was able to speak with Gavin without the use of either his voice or hands. 

Gavin hadn’t yet figured out how to reply in the same way Nines did, or if he even could for that matter, but it was a start. He just had to trust that Nines was telling the truth & that he couldn’t do anything more to Gavin than literally just project his words into his head. 

Nines could hack into Gavin’s fucking head like it was no problem. He could get into Gavin’s phone too. 

The man had so much control & Gavin just had to shove away his paranoia & believe in Nines’ words. Trust that Nines wouldn’t use anything against him.

“Nines says he won’t let you live it down that you cried at his funeral.” Gavin murmured as his eyes flickered down to where North had so easily fixed his bowtie. 

As she moved to her bag, getting out a few masks she had chosen for him, North rolled her eyes so hard that Gavin could have sworn he literally saw the action despite the fact her back was to him.

“Yeah? Well fucking tell a girl next time one of you morons decides to fake their own death.” North muttered as she turned back to Gavin, looking thoughtful as she held up a few different masks in front of his face, deciding which one would suit him best.

“Technically we didn’t fake it, he did actually die. He just... came back.” 

“Don’t fucking remind me. It makes me feel weird that he’s… Y’know.”

_‘I heard that.’_

The moment the words popped up in Gavin’s vision, he couldn’t help the little snort of a laugh that left him. Despite the fact it was just a text, he could almost hear Nines’ pissy tone in his head as he read it.

He didn’t bother trying to explain why he laughed, instead Gavin settled on letting North play dress up with him before she called Nines in to do the same with him.

After contemplating for a while, the woman finally settled on their masks.

For Nines, she had picked out a half-mask, similar to the one The Phantom wore in ‘ _The Phantom Of The Opera_ ’. 

The mask would cover the right side of his face, hiding his scar & LED. But rather than the mask being one solid material, it was made up of intricately crafted golden metal. It swirled & curled, the delicately thin material fitting so perfectly to his face that the little gaps between where the metal connected were far too small for his scar to be shown.

The golden design very nearly matched the golden trim of his prized pistol & it had a funny feeling sitting in Gavin’s gut. Not quite lust, not quite nerves, but somewhere in between.

The android was dressed head to toe in black besides the golden threads that detailed his bowtie & the lapels of his blazer. It perfectly matched the mask he’d wear on his face. 

Gold suited him. It was like the colour was made for Nines & Nines alone.

He damn near took Gavin’s breath away when he saw him in it & the only thing that was stopping him from pinning Nines to the opposite wall & shoving his tongue down his throat was the fact North was _right fucking there._

As for Gavin, North had chosen a colombina mask that’d sit neatly across his eyes, she said it’d help hide the faded black eye he was still sporting from when Connor had punched him. 

The mask had red & gold detailing, serving to match both his & Nines’ accent colours.

Gavin pushed the thing up onto his head so it was sitting in his hair before fixing Nines with a puzzled look, “Wait… The mask is real pretty, babe, but I can still see that you’re you.”

For a moment, the android just stared at Gavin, his eyes so clearly raking over his body as a tiny smirk tugged at his lips as he admired him. It had the tiniest of blushes creeping across Gavin’s cheeks.

Nines snapped out of it as he shook his head & took a step closer to Gavin, taking his mask off so the man could properly see his face. Then, after closing his eyes for a few moments, he fluttered them back open & steel-greys were replaced with honey browns.

“Fuck. That’s frea-” Gavin cut himself off as he watched Nines’ hair slowly changed from black to a light brown that matched Connor’s perfectly.

_‘Could have gone with blond… But I think you would have stabbed me in the throat.’_

Gavin snickered to himself at the remark, it taking him a long few moments to find his words before he managed to force out, “That’s fucking freaky & you know it. The moment we’re done? You put those pretty grey eyes back. You look too fucking kind with brown eyes, I hate it.”

“Alright, alright, you two. You ready to get this shit done so you can get the fuck out of my city?” North asked & Gavin didn’t bother to make a comment about her saying ‘my city’.

At this point, she probably ran more of it than he had ever realised before & a part of him didn’t actually want to know how much the cops were completely unaware of. He was quickly grasping onto just how much of a whole other world was out there, right under their noses & it hurt his head to think too much about.

“Oh & Reed? Keep your top button done up. Can’t believe it hasn’t even been a few hours since we buried his ass & he ended up buried in yours.” North grumbled, a hand coming up to tug at Gavin’s collar slightly. 

Gavin barked out a laugh at the sheer crudeness in which she spoke, that little pink dusting of blush returning to his cheeks again. His collar just barely covered the little mouth shaped bruises that littered his neck & he knew damn well that if Nines had a choice, he’d have Gavin losing his bowtie & top button. That way, everyone wouldn’t be able to mistake that Gavin damn well _belonged_ to him.

“Wait, just one more thing.” He batted North’s hand away as he spoke so he could turn to grab a few of his belongings from the table. He shoved his phone into his pocket before stepping up to Nines, showing the android his pretty little butterfly knife that he had kept safe for him. 

Gavin was about to slip it into Nines’ pocket, but the action was paused by the android’s hands gently wrapping around Gavin’s wrist.

He plucked the knife from Gavin’s grip, inspecting it for a moment with an almost genuine smile tugging at his lips for barely a second before he tucked it into the inner pocket of Gavin’s form-fitted waistcoat. 

_‘Keep it.’_

By the time they made it to where the event was taking place, the sun was already setting, casting pinks & oranges across the dusky-night sky.

They had a time frame of just a few hours to get in, blend with the crowd, find Amanda & Elijah, kill them, then get out again before the night came to a close. 

Thanks to Nines looking just like Connor with the changed hair & eye colour, once they had slipped into the building through a back entrance, nobody cast a second glance in their direction as they made their way through to the main event hall.

Nines must have caught Gavin eyeing the bar, because as soon as a waiter came around with some champagne flutes, he was quick to go to pluck two from the tray, but swiftly realised that he wouldn’t be able to drink his & opted for just one instead.

After passing it to Gavin, the man knocked it back relatively quickly. He followed that up with a cough & a disgruntled sound of distaste. 

“Champagne tastes like rich people piss.”

_‘At least you can drink it.’_

Gavin simply rolled his eyes from behind the mask he was wearing, putting the empty flute down on a nearby glass table. “I need whiskey. Lots of whiskey.” He settled on as his gaze roamed around the people who were all standing on the main ballroom floor, keeping an eye out for Elijah.

_‘What, so you can end up on a balcony & fight with a man twice your size? Yes, I remember that.’ _

“Yeah, yeah, I fucking know. Act smart with me & I’ll punch you again, Tin Can.” Gavin flashed a cheeky smirk as he flexed the fingers on his left hand, earning a soft little huff of an amused laugh from the android opposite.

Gavin was about to say something else, but whatever it was, it died on his tongue as he watched Nines slowly saunter towards the main ballroom floor from where they had only been lingering at the edges.

The band that were playing on the main stage had been playing some soft Sinatra as people talked about fuck knows what. Gavin recognised the song from when he had been in Nines’ car & Frank Sintatra seemed to be a favourite of the gangster’s, it had been flowing through the speakers of his car as they had driven to the gala, the android tapping his fingers on his thigh to the melody as they drove.

But the Sinatra they were playing slowly eased into a new song & that was when Nines had moved to the main floor.

Fuck, Gavin hated the fucker walking away from him, but he sure did love watching his ass as he left.

Staring at Nines’ backside didn’t last too long, however, because the android soon turned on his heel to face Gavin. His dark eyes were staring right at him & only him as slowly extended a hand, a small smirk sitting on his lips.

_Oh._

Oh fuck no.

Gavin shook his head quickly as he signed, ‘I can’t dance’, to which Nines was quick to sign back, ‘please?’ with his right hand. Those stupid brown eyes he was sporting made it easy for him to pull off a puppy eyed look which had Gavin caving _instantly._

It wasn’t necessarily that he couldn’t dance, Tina had made him dance on more than one occasion, it’s just that he wasn’t so great at it because of his hips. One wrong move & he’d be in pain for the rest of the fucking evening.

As he slowly made his way across the floor, weaving easily between the people who were also getting ready to dance, Gavin heard the song slowly kick in from a soft, ambient beat, to the actual intro of the song that they were to dance to.

_I Put A Spell On You._

Fucking obviously.

It was so awfully fitting for what they had that Gavin had to wonder if Nines had bribed the fucking band to play it, just to rub it in his face.

“I can’t dance, Ni- _Sir.”_ Gavin grumbled, but there was a little mischievous smirk on his lips as he called the gangster ‘sir’ & he quickly earned a little smirk right back.

He gently took Nines’ hand with his left one & felt the android slide an arm around his lower back, pulling him closer as a little text box popped up in his vision that simply said, ‘ _I’ll help you’_.

Before Gavin could complain, the android was already maneuvering his hand so it was resting on Nines’ shoulder. Then, as his arm returned around Gavin’s lower back to hold him close, Nines easily lifted him ever so slightly so he was standing on the android’s feet.

The ex-detective shook his head as he shot Nines a feigned glare. “What, aren’t you scared about your shoes getting dirty?” He couldn’t help but scoff out.

_‘Shut up. I’m trying to be nice so you don’t end up hurting your hips.’_

Since when the fuck did Nines actually care about his pain?

“Nice doesn’t suit you, babe.” Was all Gavin could whisper back before they fell into a soft, slow movement in time with the music. Nines kept their motions slow, easy so Gavin could follow despite the fact he wasn’t actually doing any of the work at all.

For a few moments, he was worried that he would be too heavy & in turn, hurt the man he was dancing with; but that thought quickly turned humoured as he remembered that Nines was now made of fucking metal. Or should that be plastimetal? Who fucking knew.

Gavin pressed himself just that little bit closer as they swayed with the odd twirl here & there, but it was nothing too extensive. Although, one thing Gavin realised he did miss while being that close to Nines was the warmth that the man always used to possess. He didn’t radiate it like he used to, but being so close, Gavin could feel the soft thrum of the android’s regulator sitting in his sternum.

It wasn’t quite warmth, but it was something just as comforting to focus on when in the middle of a room full of people.

Gavin didn’t miss the way odd glances were being tossed their way as people slowly realised that he was standing on Nines’ feet, having the man do all of the work for him. He assumed Nines didn’t miss them either, if the way he every so often planted a kiss to Gavin’s hairline was anything to go off.

But, that was the difference between Nines & everyone else. The people around them were dancing for an audience, dancing to be viewed as elegant, as important, but Nines? He was dancing with Gavin like they were the only two in the room, like nobody else mattered.

He didn’t care that people cast glances their way, he didn’t seem to mind that he was doing all of the foot work. He was just content with getting to hold Gavin close & sway side to side, dancing like they were not about to commit a terrible crime.

But that seemed to be the very nature of their relationship. A romance sitting buried behind the violence.

As they locked eyes as they danced to the beat, the rhythm guiding their motions with such fluidity, Gavin was almost surprised that he wasn’t making a stumbling fool of himself.

The lighting was washing them in muted golden yellows & it reflected off of the golden detailing on Nines’ blazer & bowtie, his mask sparkling as it caught the warm light. Thanks to the chandeliers above & the shiny floor below, it was as though an artist had painted little golden flecks in those dark eyes that focused on him & him alone.

For a few moments, Gavin was fucking starstruck. Just like that first time he locked eyes with Nines.

He really was made for all that glitter & gold. It was like his golden pistol & butterfly knife were handmade just for him.

_‘You’re staring.’_

“You’re just… Fuck…” Gavin smiled with a shake of his head, ducking it in favour of resting his head against the android’s shoulder to help hide his blush. “You’re so fuckin’ beautiful, I guess.”

Without missing a beat, Nines was already projecting a little text box in his vision that simply read, _‘As are you, Red.’_

A tiny smile tugged at Gavin’s lips & for a moment or two, he let his eyes flutter shut from where his head was resting against Nines’ shoulder. He let the android do all the work, swaying them in time with the music & instead focused on the lyrics, on the thrum of Nines’ regulator beating & the fact they were so fucking close to being done with this city.

_‘I love you anyhow,_

_ & I don’t care if you don’t want me, _

_I’m yours right now’._

The lyrics swirled around Gavin’s mind & no matter how apt they were, no matter how hauntingly accurate they seemed to be, acting as a taunt or a reminder, he wasn't quite sure, he refused to let the smile fall from his lips.

_‘You hear me?_

_I put a spell on you,_

_Because you’re mine.’_

At the end of the day, Nines wasn’t the only one to drag Gavin in time & time again. Gavin knew damn well that he would always have Nines’ eyes on him, that he’d always have the man’s infatuation, but if he was smart enough & given time, he might be able to craft it into a weapon.

Once upon a time, Gavin had fooled himself into believing he was ‘in love’ with Nines. He had fooled himself into believing he knew what those two words meant.

He didn’t.  
  
He wasn’t so sure if he would ever know for certain, he wasn’t exactly built for any of that sappy love crap, but then again, neither was Nines. Maybe one day they could learn, but Gavin wouldn’t hold his fucking breath for it.

They had each other’s backs. 

They had each other & a clip full of bullets.

That’s all that mattered.

As the band played the outro, it faded into another song so people could continue to dance if they so wished. Gavin slowly raised his head to look up at the man he was still pressed against, a little text box popping up in his vision. _‘I see her.’_

Gavin didn’t bother to look around, instead he just leaned up slightly murmur right against Nines’ ear, “Send her my fuckin’ regards,” & just like that, pulled himself away from the gangster after planting a kiss to his left cheek, bursting the little bubble that they had momentarily got lost in.

The moment Nines walked away, Gavin busied himself with heading towards the bar so he could have that drink of whiskey he had been craving since he eyed the crowd. He was keeping a keen eye out for Elijah, or anyone who he recognised from Cyberlife that he could use as a tail & lead him right to his piece of shit brother.

As he sipped on his whiskey, it dawned on him just how fucking grateful he was that Chloe had deviated from being Elijah’s little fucking pet. She seemed so much more… alive since- Since that fucking fire.

He just hoped she was okay. He saw the way her & Connor exchanged glances, he knew there was something there, it didn’t take a detective to figure it out. He just hoped that whatever it was, it wouldn’t fuck Chloe up in the long run.

But if anyone could somehow weasel their way into everyone’s lives & be of importance or help to them, it’d be her. Her knowledge alone seemed to keep her safe, everyone wanted her alive rather than decommissioned.

Perhaps once this was all over, he could end up back on a couch again, staring at the ceiling while whining to her about whatever the fuck was going on in his head. After all, she’d always be his psychiatrist whether Elijah was controlling her or not.

The ex-detective sniffed before knocking the rest of his whiskey back.

He was doing this for her too. So Elijah could never control her again. She could own Cyberlife. She could do good. Elijah wouldn’t be able to hurt her.

Gavin, Elijah & Emma were the last of the Kamski’s.

Emma was gone. 

Gavin changed his name.

Elijah was the last one that needed to go in order to wipe that God forsaken name from this city.

He was doing this for Emma. 

He was doing this for himself.

A stranger sitting across the bar from Gavin caught his attention out of his peripheral vision for a moment. Deep, emerald green eyes were carefully watching Gavin’s every move, but the moment Gavin properly glanced towards him, the man returned his focus to his whiskey.

He had a swanky fucking business card in his free hand, slowly twirling it around his fingers as though trying to keep his hands busy; Gavin knew the feeling. At a glance, he couldn’t quite make out anything on the sleek black card besides for a ‘Neil Cl-’ written in a fancy, red foil font with what seemed to be Greek symbols printed neatly in the middle. 

An uppercase ‘A’ that was neatly intersected with a lowercase ‘a’ & Gavin quickly realised they were the Greek symbols for alpha, the first letter in the Greek alphabet. _Huh_. 

The man’s thumb covered the rest of the name & whatever company he worked for.

Clearly just another fancy bigshot personality, here to try to sell their company.

If this had been any other day, perhaps Gavin would have humoured himself by talking to the guy. Ask the man about his company & his plans like Gavin gave a single shit about him or the tech companies that were running Detroit.

For all he knew, this guy was just another criminal like Nines. Like Elijah.

With a shake of his head at his own spiraling thoughts, he focused on doing another survey of the people along the ballroom floor before his eyes settled on a man who was heading towards a spiral staircase.

No, not a man, an android. As it tipped its head to glance back at the dancefloor, Gavin caught sight of that tiny spinning little yellow disc on its temple.

Bingo.

After drawing in a deep breath, the ex detective put down his whiskey glass as he pushed himself up from the bar stool he was occupying. He winced slightly as pain crept up along his left leg, but he grit his teeth & pushed through.

He could have sworn he heard the green-eyed stranger at the bar murmur ‘good luck, _Gavin_ ’ from behind him, but he pushed it aside, deciding instead that it was just his overly paranoid mind playing tricks on him.

With one last glance around the hall, Gavin slowly began to roll his sleeves to his elbows as he made his way towards the same spiral staircase the android had headed up.

Despite the way adrenaline was already pumping through him with every step he took, Gavin was perhaps a little too hyper focused on how many stairs he’d have to climb.

It was a big fucking spiral staircase up to the second floor that was way too high from the ground for him to be comfortable with. He made his way up, sliding his mask up so it sat in his hair instead & had to swallow down the anxieties that were creeping up on him.

Just as long as he didn’t look down, he’d be fine.

The android made its way across the second floor hall & out some double glass doors that led out onto the overhanging balconies outside.

Of fucking course.

_Just my fucking luck._

Gavin drew in a few slow, deep breaths, flexing the fingers on his left hand before making his way swiftly from the stairs, across the hall, then out to the balcony where the android had gone.

The height didn’t matter. It was fine. He was fine. He was fucking fi-

“Hello, Gavin.”

The voice had him stopping in his tracks from where he had walked through the doors, brows knit together as he lost sight of the android that had walked right through them just a few moments prior.

_Elijah._

Gavin swallowed around the lump that was forming in his throat as he ever so slowly turned on his heel to face the direction the voice had come from.

Lo & behold, there he fucking was.

The man was dressed exactly how Gavin expected him to be. Dark grey blazer over a thin white t-shirt. Didn’t even bother with a fucking button down shirt. No, instead a douchey fucking v-neck was what he went for. Only he could dress like that & still get into a masquerade ball.

Prick.

Before Gavin had the chance to speak, Elijah was already beating him to it.

The man just offered a little smirk as he looked over the balcony from where he was leaning against the wall, flicking his cigarette over the ledge before stuffing his hands into his pockets, “Well, how did I know you’d be looking for me, brother? All it took was an android leading you right to me.”

“What the fuck are talki-”

“Oh, Gavin, sometimes I wonder how you made it as a detective at all.” Elijah just laughed through his words, a dangerous little look sparking across those distant, emotionless blue eyes of his. 

“You really aren’t observant at all. While you were dancing with your… _Toy…_ I had already spotted you. Saw you go to the bar, making eyes at that whiskey drinking prick from Alpha Solutions… I can just imagine the headlines; Elijah Kamski’s brother suffers a tragic fall due to being intoxicated. There was nothing paramedics could do.” He mused in an almost sing-song tone as those eyes flickered from Gavin to the balcony bars, then back to Gavin again.

No.

No fucking way.

Gavin saw the calculating look on the man’s face & he should have fucking known this was a trap the moment he followed the android up the stairs.

As Elijah took a step closer, Gavin took a step back, but right as he was about to turn & bolt for the door so they were not on a fucking balcony, his back slammed up against something sturdy.

Two strong hands wrapped around his biceps with an impossibly tight grip, pinning him in place.

No.

“No… N-No, fuck you, ‘Lijah! Fuck you! You never fucking loved me!” Gavin spat as he squirmed in the grip on the android that was pressed right up against his back, kicking his legs as he tried to get himself free. “You only f-fucking saved me for your own personal gain! Y-You set that fucking fire! You wanted to ruin A9! Give their CEO a bad f-fucking name! All because you didn’t fucking get what you wanted!”

“Me?” Elijah’s smirk fell away in favour of feigning an offended gasp, his hand pressing over his chest for emphasis. “I would never- Burn down my own company building? No, that was the work of your unhinged plaything, Gavin!”

The man leaned a little closer, still just out of reach from where Gavin was kicking his legs as he murmured, “It’s not like anybody would ever believe you, Gavin. Not that it matters now, you’ll be dead by tomorrow. I get what I want, Amanda will get what she wants.... It’s a win win, really.”

“A-Amanda?” Gavin asked dumbly, legs pausing where they were kicking around.

Elijah’s sadistic little smirk returned.

“Didn’t you know she wants you dead, Gavin? Ever since she learned you were still alive after what Cain did, she wanted you dead. See, now, she can’t trust her Connor anymore, not since she realised he only ever looks out for himself. She never trusted Cain & Nines was killed… Or so we all thought… What _was_ that thing you were dancing with, Gavin? Don’t tell me it was Connor.”

“It was.”

Elijah made a soft ‘tut’ sound with his tongue against the back of his teeth a few times, as though disappointed in the answer Gavin had given him. “Lies, Gavin. Because Connor is with Amanda. So that means you have something that belongs to me.”

_RK900_.

If Connor was with Amanda, then that meant-

She fucking knew Nines was going after her.

Connor fucking knew they were going to be here.

_‘Where’s Amanda? Why wouldn’t she show up to her own son’s funeral?’_

_‘You really think she would miss a business opportunity? She’s at an event. A masquerade ball of all things. Rumour has it that a certain Kamski will be there too.’_

_Connor, you fucking snake._

Gavin almost wanted to laugh in disbelief. As though out of everyone he expected to stab him right in the back, for some reason, he never expected it to be Connor fucking Wolf. 

The bastard knew he was going to bring Nines back. He knew he would use the information about the ball as a means to get to Elijah & Amanda.

Fucking asshole.

“Oh well! None of this will matter!” Elijah said with a little more glee in his voice than what was considered sane. As he said that, he clasped his hands together rather eagerly. “Myrmidon?” He asked, eyes momentarily diverting from Gavin’s to look just over his shoulder at the android that was still holding him steady. Then, the CEO nodded his head in the direction of the balcony ledge.

The moment he motioned with his head, Elijah took a step back & the android easily wrapped both arms around Gavin’s chest from behind, effectively pinning his arms at his sides. It raised Gavin up just enough that his feet were no longer touching the floor as it headed towards the balcony ledge.

_No… No, nononono. NO!_

His heart lurched into his throat & he couldn’t fucking breathe. Chest heaving quicker & quicker, but it felt like no air was actually getting into his lungs.

“N-No! Get the fuck off me!” Gavin yelled with desperation in his voice as his hands flew up to claw at the android’s arms, trying desperately to free himself as those balcony bars got closer & closer.

“No! Elijah, y-you fucking- Get. Off. Me!” With each word, Gavin shoved his left elbow back, trying to dig it into the android’s ribs. He had no fucking clue if it could feel it, he doubted it, but he had to try. He had to-

Right as they reached the balcony, in his panic, Gavin booted his legs out against the bars, planting his feet against the railings & shoved back with as much force as he could muster.

He was _not_ being thrown off another fucking ledge. Especially not by his brother’s fucking metal pet.

As Gavin shoved back, it was just hard enough to have the android stumbling backwards & in the process, Gavin managed to twist in it’s grip, causing it to drop him.

As he landed, though, his left knee buckled due to the pain from his hip shooting down his leg at landing at a slightly off angle, causing him to fall onto his hands & knees on the floor.

“See? This is why you were supposed to stay in a lab. You’re a broken little project, Gavin.” Elijah mused from somewhere above him. “Myrmidon? Kill him. Now.”

“F-Fuck you, _Kamski.”_ Gavin spat out with as much venom as he could muster, but right as he was about to say something else, his words were cut off by a strangled yelp as the android booted him right in his ribs. The force of the blow was enough to knock him over onto his back, his left arm flying up to wrap around his middle.

It was only one kick & he was already having to resist the urge to curl up in a tiny ball.

Fucking androids.

Before he could even process the thought of shoving himself up, Gavin’s thighs were already being straddled by the myrmidon. Its face was blank, emotionless, LED spinning a calm yellow as whatever fucking protocols Elijah had configured into it already kicking into action as a fist flew right to his face.

Gavin could tell that it was coming, but that didn’t make him quick enough to stop it & the moment those knuckles collided with his cheekbone, it felt like someone had punched him with a brass knuckle clad fist.

Now he knew how Nines felt when he punched him.

Another punch was thrown, then another, then one to his nose & one to his jaw. 

The sheer force of the punch to his jaw had Gavin’s head snapping to the side, blood splattering across the concrete floor of the balcony. He brought his arms up, crossing them at the wrists to try to shield his face as he tipped his head up to look at Elijah through error boxes that were beginning to pop up in his vision.

“Eli-”

“Y’know, it’s kind of funny, really, Gavin-” The man began, nonchalantly leaning against the wall & sparking up another cigarette as he watched his brother so casually get the fucking shit beat out of him.

The android grabbed Gavin’s wrists with one hand, easily pinning them above his head so it could throw more punches to his ribs, then his face. 

The punches to his already injured ribs from when the android had booted him had every breath Gavin took hurting more than the last.

“-The last time you attended one of these events, you ended up in a fight on a balcony. Except this time, you won’t have your precious little Nines to save you. Amanda has probably already deactivated RK900. Pulled out his thirium regulator & let him die so I can reset him later.”

No. Nines couldn’t die. He only just got him back. He couldn’t be reset, not when the technology that Chloe had actually fucking worked.

“N-No…” Gavin groaned out in pain & had to squeeze his eyes shut as another punch was thrown to his already busted nose. He could feel the blood streaming down his face, feel it pooling in his mouth from where a tooth had been knocked loose.

Error box after error box were popping up in his vision.

Nothing fucking new there.

“Y-You can’t kill him, he’s not alive.” Gavin practically laughed out as he snapped his eyes back open to glare right at Elijah, who wasn’t even trying to hide the maniacal little spark of joy that was across his features at getting to watch his own brother get beat to death.

Gavin used what little strength he still had in his left arm, flexing his fingers before yanking his arm downwards from where it was being pinned above his head, right as the android’s grip faltered as it went to throw another punch.

As he pulled his arm free, Gavin reached into his inner pocket to where Nines had given him his prized butterfly knife.

In one swift, easy motion, Gavin pulled it out & flipped it open. He put as much force as he possibly could behind his movements as he shoved the blade right into the android’s temple at the same time as bucking up his hips to knock the android from his thighs.

From there, he flipped himself over onto his hands & knees, sucking in a desperate breath for air, despite the way his lungs fucking burned & his exhale came out as nothing more than a pathetic wheeze.

_Fucking shit._

His wheezes divulged into a short coughing fit, one that ended with Gavin spitting out the purple blood that was pooling in his mouth. He watched as spit & blood dripped from his lips down into the little blood puddle he had created.

His face felt like it was on fire. Sure, Gavin had been in many fights in his time, but none with an android.

Myrmidons were built for combat, they were reinforced fucking metal.

The pain of each punch was similar to when Cain had swung a metal pipe at him when beating the shit out of him before dragging him onto that car park ledge.

Here he was again, up way too high & if he survived, it’d just be more scars to add to the goddamn collection.

“It isn’t like the world will be at a loss without you, Gavin. Like I said, you should have never left that lab. You shouldn’t even be alive. Each time I was obligated to bring you back, to fix you up.” Elijah let out an amused huff from his nose right as Gavin heard metal clattering onto the floor beside him.

Nines’ butterfly knife. Snapped into pieces.

_This fucking thing still wasn’t dead?!_

Gavin groaned in both frustration & agony, but it was quickly cut off as a foot collided with his already busted face.

The moment the android booted him, everything went muffled. Tinnitus overtook everything, ears ringing & his head pounding harder with each beat of his technology fused heart.

His mind palace warped & glitched, everything that was usually so in check morphed into an array of broken colours & indistinguishable code as it tried to rectify itself to no avail. It was almost impossible to see around.

Gavin bowed his head just that little bit more, his elbows shaking from where he was still on his hands & knees. His fingers curled against the concrete, as though he could grip it for support, his knuckles on his right hand turning white, the nanites on his left peeling back. It took absolutely everything he had to not let his elbows give in.

The jarring movements had his shoulder burning up, his hips sending little electric bolts of agony down along his legs.

“You just came back missing more pieces. Y’hear that, Gavin? You’re broken! You’re missing pieces! Poor little broken, tortured Gavin lost everything. Such a fucking shame. His boyfriend was shot, his daughter was ki-” 

Elijah’s sentence was cut off as Gavin began laughing. Honest to god laughing.

He spluttered more blood across the concrete before shaking his head as his wheezed out little laugh fell quiet. Gavin grit his teeth together as he forced himself up from the floor onto his hands & feet.

From there, Gavin’s jaw clenched just that little bit harder as he swallowed more blood that was pooling in his mouth. 

_‘Lean into your strengths.’_ Allen’s voice played over in his mind, it was somewhere distant & far, but was the anchor that he needed, it always had been. The voice of reason. Although barely there & barely heard above the ringing in his ears & the static behind his eyes, Gavin used those simple little words as his focus point.

With what he had left, he forced himself into a standing position despite everything in his body wanting to drag him back down to the floor. Despite the way his head spun, despite the error boxes, despite the agony running through every inch of him, Gavin stood firm.

Even if he bled out, even if he was knocked down over & over, if he had been taught anything by the _good_ in his life, it was to always get back up. Always fucking fight.

Because there was _always_ something worth fighting for.

“Y’know-” Gavin rasped through a wheezed breath, his sentence being cut off by a pained groan as the android shoved him up against the balcony bars, his spine colliding with the metal.

Blue blood was steadily leaking down its head, but it didn’t look at all affected.

Gavin swallowed the bitter taste that was pooling in his mouth again, eyes narrowing at the emotionless robot that was so fucking adamant on beating him to death.

It wouldn’t stop. Not until Elijah told him to, or Gavin put a fucking end to all of this.

“-You think you’re so fucking almighty, ‘Lijah, think you’re so evil-” Gavin spat & as the android tried to throw a punch, he just about managed to duck his head before headbutting the android in the nose.

It fucking hurt, it felt like he had just slammed his head against a fucking wall, but the small victory was that LED turning to red, thirium seeping out of the android’s nose from the impact.

Through the bombardment of error boxes that were popping up in his vision, a little text box could be seen through them. Despite the way it was distorted & letters were all glitched with code trying to pull them apart, he could still so clearly read, _‘Red?! Where the fuck are you?’_

It had a tiny smirk tugging at his lips.

_Nines_. He fucking knew Amanda wouldn’t be able to kill him. Not a second time.

That’s when it dawned on Gavin that without even realising it, Elijah had told Gavin exactly how to fucking win.

Earlier, he had said Amanda had probably already deactivated RK900. He said she had pulled out his thirium regulator & let him die.

“You think you’re so fucking untouchable-” Gavin’s right hand came up to tug the android’s shirt aside. His lip hitched as he used his left hand to shove right against the android’s sternum, nails digging into the synthetic skin & chassis below.

Despite the android trying to fight against what he was doing, Gavin kept his grip firm. Despite the android’s hand wrapped around his wrist, fingers practically crushing Gavin’s chassis, he refused to let go.

He then planted his right hand on the android’s shoulder, a smirk tugging at one side of his lips despite the split that was sitting in them, despite the way his breath hitched to stop him from crying out in pain. His blunt nails dug in to clutch onto the regulator, twisting it right as he used what strength he had to shove the myrmidon back.

As the android stumbled backwards, Gavin’s left hand clutched onto the regulator, ripping it out of the android’s chest as it fell to the floor. “-But, I’ve fucking _seen_ untouchable, Elijah-”

Gavin’s dark eyes flickered to his brother, that tiny smirk still sitting on his blood splattered face as he held up to the regulator in his left hand to show it to the man. His synthetic skin was peeled back, gun-metal grey chassis on show.

Then, like it was nothing more than a crumpled up piece of paper, Gavin crushed the regulator in his fist. “-And you don’t have his eyes.”

Gavin let the broken pieces of the regulator fall to his feet, not casting a second glance to the dying android as he limped towards a rather shell-shocked looking Elijah.

_Yeah, you’re not so fucking big when you can’t hide behind your technology, huh?_

Gavin’s smirk fell away as his hands curled into the lapels of Elijah’s blazer, shoving him harder against the wall he had been leaning against, his cigarette having been long since finished.

“You took her away from me, Kamski.” He muttered lowly with absolutely no emotion in his tone. 

He first threw a punch to the man’s stomach & right as he went to hunch over in pain, Gavin threw another to his face that he was almost surprised he had landed seeing as he was seeing double of everything.

Elijah went to laugh, went to say something else along with it, but before he got the chance, Gavin’s knee colliding with his groin which had him keeling over with a rough cry of pain instead.

_Good_.

He stepped to the side as the man practically fell over, only so he could get up behind him instead. Before Elijah could fall onto his hands & knees, Gavin wrapped his right arm around his neck in a solid grip.

Gavin had him in a headlock, held him firmly against his chest as he murmured against his ear, “You took everything from me-”

“They’ll kill you, Gavin.” Elijah cut his sentence off through a breathy murmur, “Another two myrmidon are already on their way up. They were signalled the moment you pulled that regulator out. Only I can make them stand down.”

“I don’t care.”

_Nines, help me._

“So, what? You’re just gonna let them kill you, that it?” Elijah asked, his hands making a feeble attempt to claw at Gavin’s arm that was pressing firmly against his throat, causing his words to come out in an almost raspy mumble.

“It doesn’t matter.” Gavin spat.

_I don’t want to die._

“Why?”

“Because I got what I came for.”

Elijah fell quiet at those words. Perhaps he finally realised that this wasn’t a joke, that this wasn’t a threat or a rouse. 

Perhaps he finally realised that he had lost.

Oh how the mighty fall.

Gavin pulled his arm around Elijah’s neck just a little more firmly to completely cut off his airways, his face blank of any emotion as he felt his brother begin to kick his legs, his nails clawing at Gavin’s arm. 

The harder he pressed against the man’s windpipe, the deeper Elijah’s nails dug in, leaving little bleeding marks all along the skin on his forearm.

The CEO continued to kick his legs, trying to kick back against Gavin’s left knee, knowing it was a weak spot. Smart. Not good enough, though.

“I survived that fire, brother. She didn’t, but I did. I survived because there’s a fire inside o’me-” Gavin’s left hand wrapped around his right so he could tug his arm even tighter around his brother’s throat.

He could feel Elijah’s struggles growing weaker. “-that fire, no matter how dim, no matter how small, no matter how many fucking times it faded into a barely there spark, it will _always_ be so much fucking brighter than anything _you_ create.”

There was a sort of acceptance in Gavin’s voice, in the sincerity in which he spoke.

He had never spoken of the fire since it happened, tried to keep the memories as repressed as possible & not once did he bring them up or let himself think about them for too long.

Gavin couldn’t forget. He probably never would. He even ripped out his LED like he thought it would help… It didn’t. 

Perhaps he’d never completely heal, he wasn’t so sure if that was possible, but this? Killing the man who took his daughter from him?

For Gavin, it was step one into his own personal recovery.

It was just something that he _needed_ to do.

_‘Red? You’re not going to die. I’m coming.’_

Could Nines hear him? 

Gavin wasn’t so sure if it was a coincidence or not, but in his desperation to have Nines find him, he shoved all of his desperate thoughts against those little text boxes in his head. He just hoped to the heavens that Nines would receive them on his end, even if he had no fucking clue what he was doing. 

If Nines could understand the mess that Gavin was trying to desperately project his way, then at least he’d know that Gavin was on the balcony.

Despite his mind palace being scrambled to shit, the slight spike in Elijah’s heart rate was unmissable as Gavin moved his hands, firmly planting them on the man’s head.

He leaned in a little closer, lips pressed right close to Elijah’s ear & whispered, “This is for Emma.” 

Just as easily as he had crushed the regulator, in one swift, forceful motion, Gavin’s lip hitched again ever so slightly as he snapped his brother’s neck. He let the body crumple to the floor at his feet.

He felt nothing. 

No remorse, no guilt. Even as he looked down at the two bodies at his feet, not a single ounce of guilt ran through him, his eyes were vacant of the compassion he once held.

If anything, all he felt was relief.

But that relief was short lived as he realised that he needed a way off the fucking balcony seeing as Elijah said he had two more myrmidon heading his way.

_Nines?_ Gavin tried again, unsure on how to get those thoughts into a little text box in Nines’ head, but he had no other choice.

He slumped his shoulder against the wall for a moment as he tried to catch his breath as the world titled just a little too violently. Each breath was a little more wheezy than the last, his vision blotchy around the edges, static licking at the corners of every distorted box that popped up telling him something was wrong.

Broken nose, tooth half out of place, blood loss, a concussion, fractures to his ribs & wrist.

Just another fucking day as Gavin Reed.

_Nines? I think I’m gonna die up here._ He tried again, perhaps thinking a little too bitterly, but there were just too many error boxes. With the adrenaline from what he had just done ebbing away, he was left with the raw hurt of how beaten his body was.

He was in so much physical pain, little trails of blood coming out of his nose, the corners of his lips, the split in his cheek & the one on his lip.

Everything fucking hurt & he was so fucking tired.

From where he was leaning a little too heavily against the wall, through the tinnitus ringing in his ears, he could hear the faint sound of the band playing downstairs in the main ballroom.

He could hear an acoustic version of a Jimi Hendrix song playing. People were still dancing, people were still happy.

Just like always, people were still so fucking oblivious.

_‘You’re not going to fucking die, Red! Stop being so dramatic.’_ The distorted words popped up in his vision, catching him off guard slightly, but just enough to have an ever so weak chuckle leaving his lips that was quickly eaten up by another cough.

Nines could hear him.

He shoved the message away with a shake of his head as he swallowed once more, cringing at the amount of blood that was steadily steaming from where one of his back teeth had been knocked out of line.

Gavin stepped over the body of his brother, then the android as he limped towards the glass doors that were connected to the balcony, only to freeze in place as he saw two androids heading across the upstairs hall in his direction.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

_Yep, definitely going to die here._

Gavin swallowed down his nerves as he slammed the doors closed, flipping the two outside locks on, not that they’d do much seeing as they were glass fucking doors. Still, he used his left hand to snap the handle off of the door in the hopes that it would buy him at least a few more seconds.

“Nines?!” Gavin called in a wheezed, raspy voice as his eyes darted around the balcony. His panic started to grow upon realising he had no way out.

_‘I can hear you. Gavin, you have to trust me.’_

Tears were brimming Gavin’s eyes for the first time the whole night. He didn’t cry when he was being beaten by walking fucking reinforced metal. He didn’t cry when he ripped the regulator out or when Elijah brought up Emma. He didn’t cry when he killed his own flesh & blood.

Gavin hadn’t been afraid of any of that. He was driven to get the revenge that he wanted & it felt good knowing his daughter’s killer was gone.

But now?

The adrenaline was gone. His arms felt a little too heavy, his chest heaved & realisation slammed into him like a freight train with no brakes.

He was afraid. No, he was fucking terrified.

As the androids got closer to the door, first trying the handle before realising the doors were jammed, Gavin was staring at them with fear in his eyes as he limped backwards until his back was pressed up against the railings.

He was back _there_.

_‘Jump, Red.’_

_'Jump. Jump & I swear I'll take you to Santa Monica.'_

He was back on that ledge, Nines ready to meet him at the bottom.

He still remembered so vividly when Cain had said, ‘Nines will meet ya at the bottom. If you survive, that is’.

Funny how history repeated itself.

The memory played over & over & fucking over again in his head. Being beat, pistol whipped, having his hands zip-tied behind his back, being shoved off of that parking lot.

His chest was so tight that it felt like his lungs were collapsing, like not enough oxygen could get to him.

“N-Nines?! Nines, I can’t, I can’t f-fucking-” Tears streaked Gavin’s face as his sentence was cut off by the sound of one of the androids punching through one of the glass panels of the door.

_‘Fucking jump, dammit! I will catch you! I will always fucking catch you!’_

Gavin’s eyes darted from the androids behind him to glancing over his shoulder instead at the long fall down. 

Nines was standing at the bottom, his mask off & LED spinning a vibrant red. 

Despite the way Gavin was seeing double & despite the way Nines’ LED just looked like a smudge of bokeh lighting, he could see the blue blood that was smeared across the android’s cheek from where it had run from his nose.

His eyes were back to those piercing silver-greys that had Gavin falling right back into his web time & time again.

“I-I’m fucking scared, Nines.” Gavin rasped through a sniffle. His voice was barely there, but he knew Nines’ android hearing would be able to pick up on it. “R-Real fucking scared.”

_‘I know.’_

Gavin’s attention was snapped back to the androids that were heading right towards him, one of them stamping on the mask that had fallen off his head in his earlier struggle.

He had no other options. It was either get killed by fucking murderbot tin-cans right beside his brother, or jump & trust the man who had tried to kill him on more than one occasion.

Trust that Nines was going to catch him.

After all the city had took from him, after the hell he had been put through, after getting so fucking close to leaving, Gavin was not going to die on a goddamn balcony beside Elijah fucking Kamski.

Gavin didn’t think twice. He couldn’t think twice.

_No turning back, Gav. You can do this._

Right as an android launched at him, Gavin ducked beneath its arm & threw himself forward to put some space between them before running through his limp at the railings. He planted his left hand onto the metal bar, lucky that he didn’t fucking miss & used the momentum of his speed to vault over, kicking one leg over then the next.

His breath caught in his throat & the tears that streaked his face cooled his skin as the wind blew against them as he fell.

For a split second, Gavin was so sure that his heart was going to explode before he hit the ground, having an anxiety attack like no other that would kill him before the asphalt could.

But, right as he was mentally preparing to hit the ground, it feeling as though time slowed down as he fell, memories of his torment trying to tear him apart, he landed in the arms of the person who started all of this.

Two strong arms caught him in a bridal style hold & the moment they did, they pulled him as close as physically possible to his sturdy chest.

_‘I told you I’d catch you.’_

Gavin was a shaking, almost hyperventilating wreck in Nines’ arms, he didn’t even have it in him to form a sarcastic response. 

Instead, he just curled closer to the android’s chest as he buried his face against his neck, trying desperately to focus on the whirring of his regulator beating in his chest to help him calm his breathing back down.

His chest was heaving at a dangerously fast pace & beyond the error boxes, he could see his stress levels hitting those dangerously high numbers that would force his mind palace to shut down & in turn, make him pass the fuck out.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he desperately tried to ignore the array of colours & code that he couldn’t fucking get rid of. He tried to focus on Nines & Nines alone before those stress levels peaked too high.

He could vaguely make out that they were moving, Nines walking them hopefully far, far away from that fucking ball, but Gavin didn’t have the energy to raise his head to survey their surroundings, so he just focused on the motion.

The most he could do was wrap his left arm around Nines’ shoulders, his chassis still on show & use the back of his other hand to wipe at his nose to get rid of some of the blood.

He swallowed to dampen his throat, breathing in through his nose & out through his mouth until his heart stopped thudding in his throat & head.

He was alive.

He did it.

Gavin had avenged Emma. He got what he wanted & Elijah was gone. He could hand Cyberlife over to Chloe, if she wanted it. Amanda had to be gone, because Nines was still here.

They did it.

Elijah’s words floated around the back of Gavin’s mind as he rested against Nines’ chest, watching the stress level numbers decrease into something safer.

He knew he should be better, should be stronger, than to let them get the best of him, but he just couldn’t shake the feeling that perhaps there was some truth to them.

There was something broken in him. That he had pieces missing. That he wasn’t completely whole.

He had thought it for the longest fucking time. 

Each time he woke up in Cyberlife with more technology in him, he had thought it. Each time his chronic pain got the best of him or his worst memories crept up on him, it only solidified his belief that there really was something missing inside of him.

He was a limping fucking travesty. 

Gavin found himself having to force those thoughts far away before they caused more tears to slip down his cheeks. Yeah, he definitely needed to talk to Chloe. Get his ass back into weekly therapy sessions.

For now? He just stayed where he was, curled against his sort-of-boyfriend as he focused on his breathing.

Gavin only raised his head once he felt the walking come to a halt. He grimaced as he swallowed & poked his tongue around his mouth to feel for the wobbly tooth. After pushing it back in line to deal with later, he blinked through the distortion to focus on Nines’ face.

There was so much he wanted to say. He wanted to say how he couldn’t believe they actually pulled it off, that for a moment, he genuinely believed he was going to die. He wanted to say that he didn’t think Nines would catch him, but was so fucking glad that he did.

He wanted to ask if he had dealt with Amanda, ask about Connor. He wanted to make a joke about how North will be pissed that they lost her masks & got blood all over their suits.

There was a part of Gavin that so desperately wanted to say he was going to pull himself together. That once they got out of Detroit, he was going to start seeing Chloe weekly again. That he’d say proper goodbyes to his friends before they headed for the west coast, rather than just ghosting them like he did before.

Gavin wanted to say how he was going to talk to Joseph, how he was going to apologise to Hank & Tina, thank them for looking after his cat & for putting up with him for so long despite how much grief he gave everyone. That he was going to rebuild the bridges that the fire had burned to ash, but this time with metal.

He wanted to tell Nines that he _wanted_ to heal from all of this.

That he didn’t want to give up.

He wanted to say that Nines still owed him that fucking stupid date.

Gavin wanted to say that despite it all, he actually felt a strange weight being lifted from his shoulders, that he really had a chance at starting afresh. That he wanted to work on his anger & learn to let go of his past, no matter how difficult.

But when he opened his mouth to speak, the only words that came out were, “I fucking hate you.”

Nines let out the softest little amused huff through his nose as he ever so carefully put Gavin down, keeping an arm wrapped around his lower back, so he could hold Gavin right against him, so he didn’t have to put any weight on his left leg.

When Gavin’s gaze finally broke from the android, he gazed around them.

Nines had walked them to their borrowed car that was parked just off the main road that led to the large hall where the ball had taken place.

The building was situated behind them, the city ahead. The evening sky was clear & if Gavin’s vision were not so distorted, perhaps he would have been able to see the stars.

But just like always, the pain seemed to cloud him from seeing the good that was right ahead.

Instead, he settled on gazing to that LED that had swirled back to yellow & sort of matched the golden detailing on the android’s blazer.

The sound of sirens could be heard somewhere off in the distance, no doubt heading right in their direction.

Neither of them cared, though.

Nines simply leaned in to plant a soft kiss to Gavin’s hairline, a little thirium getting smeared there in the process as he finally replied with just two simple words, but they were words that had a lopsided, sad smile tugging at Gavin's lip, despite the split that sat there.

_‘I know.’_


End file.
